It's always a good story when a celebrity deigns to spend time with the normies. Just ask People for all the latest in hot goss.
But believe it or not, there was a time before any of these celebrities were famous, and they usually, when they weren't going out for auditions, infiltrating normie families and spending time with everyone's aunt.
"'Normal'" redditors that dated a celebrity, what was it like?" was today's burning question from Redditor Dutskii –– and we hope they were satisfied.
"He came to her birthday party..."
My wife briefly dated Louis CK back in 2012. She says it seems kind of awful to be famous. Any time they went out to eat or were in public they were just constantly interrupted or stared at. He came to her birthday party at some little bowling alley in Brooklyn though and was pretty cool. The story that always sticks with me is that one day he went out and bought a $150,000 watch because he felt sad.
"They were in love..."
My aunt was married to Van Morrison briefly. Here they are together on this album artwork. No interesting stories that I could remember. They were in love but he was always gone so it didn't work out. I was told that he would play guitar for the fam on Christmas get togethers.
"My mom lived in Key West..."
My mom lived in Key West in the early-mid 80's. She dated Sting for a while. He had a really nice yacht and they went on a sailing trip during which he realized my mom is psycho (she is). He ended it right after. Sometimes to mess with my Dad I'll start singing "Roxanne" or "Message in a Bottle."
"If only..."
My mom dated Keanu Reeves back in high school. She broke up with him because he was too focused on his band with his friends at the time.
If only...
"My mom..."
My mom had a dinner date with George Clooney in the 90's. She didn't really say much apart from the fact that he's an interesting and charismatic guy but she honestly didn't think he was going to blow up.
"She said..."
My mother dated Judd Nelson back when he was relevant. She said he was kind of a prick once she got to know him better, but his parents were cool. Weirdly, my family now lives like ten minutes from his parents' place in Maine.
"...if I remember correctly."
Friend of mine dated Brad Pitt in college. 2 or 3 dates if I remember correctly. I went to a different school, but remember meeting him when I went to visit my friend.
"Not a date..."
Not a date, per se, but I had a nice quiet dinner with Samantha Fox in her hotel room in Toronto in the 80's. She was in town for a show and I was attached to her security detail. She asked me to eat with her because she didn't want to go out but hated eating alone. Sweet girl, kinda sad too. Lonely.
"We went to coffee once..."
Jonah Hill awkwardly slid me his number when I worked in a hotel he was staying at.
We went to coffee once and he got super clingy. I was 20 and a virgin. He wanted to throw me a 21st birthday party in Palm Springs and when I politely declined he turned reaaaaaal niceguy.
He wasn't even funny.
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
Song Choice
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
– KentuckyFriedEel
School Protocol
"Advice I received in high school from other students:"
"Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee."
"When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist."
"Never button the top button of your shirt."
– Gorf_the_Magnificent
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
– SonOfTheShire
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
– captainmagictrousers
Getting Woodwind
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
– Virtual_Caramell
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
Daddy Duty
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
– Bullydaddy
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
– Freshrendar
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
– Caity26
Life Skills
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
– placeholderNull
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
– desrever1138
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
Manly Appetite
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
– BigJiggies
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
– AmigoDelDiabla
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
– patricksaurus
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
– Sargatanus
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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