Since everybody has secrets, it makes sense that pretty much every family would have a secret or two as well. For most of us it's probably something relatively tame. Then there are the jucier things - like how some people have that one auntie who has had 3 husbands die on her... all in bed. ("Some people" may or may not be me.)
One reddit user opened up a serious can of worms when they asked:
What's a dark family secret you uncovered?
Fam, Reddit does not disappoint when they're asked to get dark. Some of the answers were so bad we didn't feel comfortable sharing them here. What we did share is full of things that some readers might find disturbing. There are stories of rape, murder, suicide, child abandonment, and more.
Proceed with caution.
Me
I was the family secret. My biological parents started having kids as teenagers. For context, when my biological mom found out she was pregnant with me, she was 21 and I was their 4th child. They quickly realized they needed to get their act together. They were already struggling financially, had countless drug issues, etc. They decided that they were going to put me up for adoption. I was a baby.
I was adopted by a loving family quite quickly, only about an hour drive from the city I was born in. Coincidentally, I ended up returning to that same city for college. My sophomore year, I decided to seek out my biological family. Turns out, my biological parents separated right after I was born. My biological mom is still in and out of jail to this day, but my biological dad was able to start a new chapter. He got clean & sober, remarried, started going to church, and built a legitimate career for himself. He told his new wife about me when they first met, but didn't tell any of his children. My other siblings didn't know I existed.
Thanks to the internet, I ended up tracking down his work number and gave him a call. Later on, he said as soon as I said, "Hi, this might be really weird, but..." he knew it was me. Apparently, ever since I turned 18, him and his wife were waiting anxiously for me to resurface. They knew the day would come eventually. That evening, they sat my siblings down and told them about me. It was difficult at first, but now I'm 25 and me and him have a pretty solid relationship.
Grandpa Doesn't Know
My grandpa doesn't know that his dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver. He was like 2 when his dad died and can't remember any of it. The only thing he said was that he thought it involved a truck.
I found the article of my great-grandfather's death when I started digging into my grandpa's family tree. I also found that great-grandpa was the result of a teen pregnancy and was raised by his grandparents.
I'd tell him but I'm not really sure there's too much point in bringing it up now.
Grandma's "Hotel"
Great grandma ran a "hotel" in the late 1800s near a train Depot and army fort in the Oklahoma territory. Turns out it was a brothel. Great grandma was a madam! She must have been good at it cause she left a stack to my grandma.
Boys Club
When I was a kid I knew my grandfather was odd. He'd call me his grandson even when i was wearing a dress and clearly female, but my parents would tell me to ignore it.
Then I found out that when my dad was a kid, grandpa sold my dad's sister Barbara to someone and kept my dad and his brother because he didn't want a girl in the family. My dad found his sister Barbara around the time I was in middle school via calling around to get records, they were reunited, she's my favorite aunt now.
No one liked grandpa.
- Halleaon
The Heirloom Dishes
We have a set of plates our family uses ONLY on Easter. My mom always fusses about that they are great grandmother, pre WWI family heirlooms. As someone who is interested in this kind of stuff, I looked up the makers mark. 1940s kitch, at best.
I haven't told anyone because I have my eyes on another set of china, and I want to seem magnanimous when I "compromise" with my sister to have these.
Not Her Fault
My cousin didn't stop talking the family for ten years because of her parents' divorce, like my parents said. She stopped because she and her dad got into an argument, and he physically shoved her into a basement, locked her inside, and refused to let her out.
He held her hostage down there for hours. Authorities got involved. He eventually got charged with domestic violence. A lot of the family blamed her for "getting her dad arrested" instead of holding him responsible for hurting her. So she stopped talking to them for about a decade.
She's married to a really nice guy and has two kids who she adores. This all happened about 20 years ago and she's doing really good now.
Totally Fair
The "disabled" kid: My dad was pretty open about it but I know they kept it hush hush within their community. Idk how it when my dad found out but he discovered he had an older brother, his parents' oldest child. We'll call him Ron.
When Ron was preschool aged they were told he was "mentally retarded." Horrified, they turned him over to the state and never spoke of him again. Years later word got back to them that the kid was not in fact mentally disabled, he had "auditory dyslexia"(now called auditory processing disorder). He grew up to be a fully functioning independent adult.
He refused to have any contact with the family when my dad reached out to his brother. Totally fair, in my opinion.
Born Too Soon
My great aunt and uncle, had a baby when they were still in the dating phase. They were in love and getting married was a sure thing down the line. However, coming from a very conservative society in the Middle East back in the 50's, they had to give the child away to an orphanage. Once that was done, they got married and eventually had 4 children.
That child grew up knowing his origins and only allowed minimal contact with his family. He still isn't invited to family events and has a family of his own. When my great uncle passed away I was told he was amongst the randoms that came to the cemetery to pay respects, none of my cousins including myself know what he looks like but my dad and his siblings and cousins all do.
Its sad how he's punished for something that isn't his fault.
Grandpa's Suicide
My grand-father tried to kill my dad with an axe. Literally showed up to his place of work and went looking to cut him down... and somehow, my unprepared dad fought him off bare handed.
So grandpa escaped and came back the next day to finish the job with a gun, but my dad didn't show up to work, so dude offed himself in the parking lot leaving the craziest suicide note ever.
There's a long backstory. To try not to go crazy here...
Grandpa beat my dad, dad's brothers and his mom. Grandpa was an alcoholic, for sure, but probably had mental problems too as they are run family. (yay)
Anyways, my dad had enough of it and worked a ton of jobs to save money. He was able to afford to escape and moved everyone out of the house in the middle of the night. They fled. New life kinda relocation thing.
So Grandpa was pretty pissed my dad "ruined his life" by, I guess, standing up for himself. Eventually the dude tracked down where my dad worked and went to end him.
I'm pretty sure his brothers and mom knew about the attempt, I don't know how many other family did. I only found out from my mom when I was moving away to university; and I have no idea why she told me. I thought it was bull, but eventually Dad confirmed it. It sort of filled in a lot of gaps in his character.
I have a vague idea of what was in the suicide note from what my mom said. I know it was a letter addressed to my dad laying the ultimate guilt trip. I think it was something about how much my dad had ruined his life by being born, then taking his wife away from him.
There was some passage about the church in it and how my dad had "let down all of religion" or God or something, and that Grandpa would see him in Hell. I'm kind of exaggerating, but whatever was in that note turned my dad into a staunch anti-religious person pretty much.
One Punch Grandpa
I asked my Mom why Grandpa didn't stay in his home town and take over the farm.
Turns out, Grandpa killed a man.
They had a bunch of local kids over to hang out. Grandpa couldn't find his sister and went looking for her. He came around the corner of the barn to find a guy was actually raping her.
Grandpa, grabbed the guy - gave him one punch in the head and killed him. He served 10 months in jail. After that, he decided to move a whole 10 miles away to another town.
The kicker is my Grandfather's name is Pleasant! He's referred to as one punch Grandpa now.
- sunrein
Mike The Mobster
When my Dad's uncle died, at his funeral there were a couple people there that dad recognized but only one he knew well. He and my dad had originally bonded because they were both named Mike. They became friends even though my dad was younger than him by about twenty years.
Mike was an acquaintance of dad's father, my grandfather. Mike was also involved in some shady, shady stuff. At the funeral Mike sat next to my dad and asked if he was doing good. My dad asked if he could be blunt, and admitted he was "glad the bastard was dead."
Mike got real quiet, and asked if he'd ever been hurt by his uncle. My dad admitted he had.
Mike told him that if anyone ever touched him like that again, to let him know and he and his boys would take care of them. My dad was about seventeen, so he would've known Mike about seven years at this point.
He trusted Mike. Always hung out with him when he came into town, which wasn't very often.
My dad took him up on his promise only once. He'd been having issues with some wannabe gang members in price hill and told Mike about this one kid who'd stabbed him in the thigh last time he crossed their turf. The kid had mugged him, stabbed him, and told him he was lucky it wasn't his throat. My dad ended up in the hospital with a few dozen stitches and a very large tetanus shot.
He told Mike, and Mike said he'd take care of it. My dad never saw the kid again, he'd just disappeared. Mike left town shortly after.
Few years later, my grandfather was in the early stages of the disease that would later take his life; and drunk as f**k so he was feeling talkative. He said to my dad:
"Ya know I outta thank you. You got that good for nothing mobster to skip town after killing that 'banger, and now I don't have to worry about paying my debts. You might not be a disappointment after all"
My dad never forgot that. Not just because of the back handed compliment, that was normal. But because of the bomb his dad had dropped about Mike being a part of the mob? Never knew that Mike had killed the kid, never knew that his dad was in trouble with him, never found out how his dad had gotten in with a man claiming to be a mobster.
Was Mike actually part of the mob? In Cincinnati in the '60s it was possible, but not probable. More likely he was part of a gang and used the threat of the mafia to keep my grandfather scared enough to be manipulated.
I do think he genuinely liked my dad, though. I don't think their relationship was more than platonic, but also I've never killed a man for my "friends."
Shot
My great uncle shot my great aunt. Apparently she had Alzheimer's and he decided it was best to just kill her, then he turned the gun on himself. From what I heard though he didn't die instantly but rather held on for around a week before finally dying.
Nazi Roots
I found out my grandma's grandfather was a Nazi scientist that fled Germany in 1945, changed his name and moved to South America. We still don't know what his real last name was.
Step-Dad
I may or may not be a product of an affair between my mum and my (now) step-dad.
I found an old letter between them, talking about how he wanted to mess around and then hide in the cupboard when her husband got home. I also know that he bought her gifts before I was born...
Too scared to confirm though. I still see bio-dad, and have a half sister and family on that side. I hate to think of how everything would be turned upside down if it turned out to be true.
Casanova Cousin
My grandmother actually told me before she passed that her cousin was Paul John Knowles, the Casanova Killer. As far as I know, my mother's side completely believes this to be true while my dad's side didn't know at all.
My dad believes this explains a lot about my mom. (Their divorce wasn't the nicest)
- ValkRhi
Family Toke Sesh
My uncle found pot in his living room in between two couch cushions, so he brought it to my aunt's boyfriend who was dealing while being a chef in the early days of his restaurant.
Aunt's boyfriend looked at it an said "oh that's not mine, that's your mother's,"
Turns out my Grammy bought pot to feel better cause of retirement, and she and like 5 of my aunt's and uncles had a big toke sesh like that 70's show in my Grammy's basement.
Not dark but still, I wanted to share it
It's Not Official
My parents aren't 'officially' married. They are married in traditional Hindu ways but since my Mom had the same surname, they never bothered to have the marriage registered so technically, they have been in a very long live in relationship (about 25 years)
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
- People Divulge The Best Compliments They've Ever Received - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Family Secrets Their Parents Only Shared With Them Once They Were Old Enough - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Their Darkest Family Secrets - George Takei ›
- People Confess The Craziest Secrets They Know About Their Friends - George Takei ›
- People Share Dark Secrets They Need To Get Off Their Chest - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Things They Know About Their Parents That They Shouldn't Actually Know - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which Things They'll Never Tell Their Parents - George Takei ›
- People Confess The Darkest Secrets They've Learned About Their Family - George Takei ›
- The Wildest Family Tea That Was Finally Spilled - George Takei ›
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
No Fanfare
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
– HUGE_duck_boots
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
– CasperTek
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
– CO420Tech
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
– ConvenienceStoreDiet
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
– WhosThatLady9
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
– AdministrativeWar594
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
– avero34
The Misconception
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
– grandwizardElKano
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
– IStanHam
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
– seafoamteal
Wicked Humor
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
– ultranothing
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.
People Debate Whether Mental Health Issues Are A Valid Reason To Call Out From Work
Every now and again, some people might call in sick to work when they might not be technically sick.
Instead, they are just feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or many other things and just need a day to collect their thoughts.
A "mental health day," if you will.
But should we have to lie about their mental health being the reason they aren't coming to work?
No doubt, they likely aren't honest about it for fear their bosses might not consider it a valid excuse, but should bosses and managers be more sympathetic and understanding?
"Is mental health issues a valid reason to call in sick to work? Why or why not?"
Sick Days Can Be Used However People So Chose
"If you got sick days, use em for whatever, who cares why."- Chance-Ad4773
"I use sick days, and even vacation days, for mental health."
"How are you going to perform to the best of your ability, if you're not your best?" - _bakedgouda
"Just call in sick, it's nobodies business what your illness is." - Bierculles
An Illness Is An Illness, Plain And Simple
"In my opinion, absolutely."
"Mental health is as important as physical health."- Defiant63
"Illness is both physical & mental, which you can argue mental is also physical considering it’s regarding your brain."
"Big difference between: 'I don’t feel like going to work' and 'I can’t perform my professional obligations and need rest'."- patlaff91
Yes. No Questions Asked.
"It's valid, sure."
'Whether your employer agrees is another subject."- brock_lee
Progress Needs To Be Made
"I would argue mental health is as important to take care of than physical health."
"But I would probably not tell them it’s mental sh*t just because we aren’t there as a society yet that recognizes taking care of one’s mental health."
"We are getting there but not quite."- ironicallyunstable
Valid, But Complicated
"Absolutely."
"However, mental health does carry a stigma, and if your higher-ups sense you might be a 'head case' or something, you may be passed over for promotions and stuff for people they deem more 'mentally stable' or whatever the f*ck."
"But most jobs cannot ask you the details on your health."
"So you can just call out 'sick', and don't disclose that it's mental in nature."
"If you have a job that requires proof of illness?"
"Might be time to look for a new job, yikes!"- daithisfw
"It is a valid reason but beware that not all people take mental health seriously and calling in because of it can lead to some people to start treating you differently, whether that be in a good way or a bad way in comparison to how you were treated before."
"Some employers may even cut your hours because of this as well, because in their eyes you just didn't want to work."-SeniorConfusion6698
Yes, But Plan Accordingly
"Some thoughts from a guy who has managed a lot of people."
"From a practical perspective what's 'valid' in the workplace has much to do with your relationships with co-workers and managers."
"A person who is generally productive and has good relationships will get a lot more leeway on things like mental health days than someone who's not productive and engages in conflict."
"You'll have lot more support from colleagues when you're going through tough times if you spend time, in advance, cultivating good relationships and a good reputation."
"Be honest with yourself on whether your choice of careers aligns with the degree of stress (both professional and personal) you're able to handle."
"I've known a lot of people who've chosen careers paths that are inherently more stressful and hectic than they're able to handle or don't align well with their personal responsibilities."
"Be honest with yourself on whether you're truly cut out for working in a given field, or at a given company, in a given role, or for a given person."
"Of course, many people don't have a choice on what job that they do, but if you do, try to find one that aligns with your own personal comfort level."
"Keep your expectations balanced."
"You absolutely do have the right to expect reasonable accommodations for your mental health and stress levels at work."
"The flip side of that is that your employer does have the right to expect that certain roles are filled by people who have the capacity to put up with a degree of consistent stress."
"If you attend too little to your mental health you'll burn out and your career will stall."
"However, if you can't manage yourself through a certain amount of stressful situations, your career will likely stall too."- JohanB3
It's Not The Why That Matters, But The How Much
"I never gave a sh*t why someone called in sick."
"It only ever became an issue if they were out of sick time."
"And if they were did the event qualify for FMLA."
"Was quite a headache during COVID, admittedly."
"As some people never got it and some people had it multiple times."
"We were making exceptions for some people while still being more demanding than usual of others."
"What a mess that was."
"But still didn't want to fire someone because they or their family had COVID so they missed work."- thedankbank1021
If people find themselves in a headspace where they know they won't be able to get any work done, it won't be to anyone's advantage for them to come to work.
Something they might want to consider, however, is maybe it's the job itself which is taking a toll on their mental health.
And it's not a day off they need, but should instead be handing in their resignation?
Perhaps the main thing that keeps people returning to their favorite tv shows is the characters.
Be it heroes we love to see in action, the villains who we love to hate, or the friend group we wish we were a part of, nothing brings people greater joy than being part of their world for 30 minutes to an hour each week, or devoting an afternoon to bingeing.
Indeed, it's often the family shows people tend to resonate with the most, sometimes wishing their family could be more like what they see on television.
Particularly when it comes to fathers.
Be it a carefree, fun-loving goofball like Modern Family's Phil Dunphy or a sensitive neat freak like Full House's Danny Tanner, TV dads have earned a special place in the hearts of viewers.
"Who is the best TV dad?"
Man's Best Friend, And Everyone's Favorite Dad!
"Bandit Heeler."- AlisonSandraGator
The Father Will Was Always Missing
"Uncle Phil."- Sagranda
As Wise As He Is Kind
"Uncle Iroh."
“'I was never angry with you. I was sad, because I was afraid you had lost your way'."- briareus08
Determined To Take Over The Tri-State Area!
"Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."
"Sure, he's evil, but he loves his daughter."
"He will spend decades hunting down a rare doll just because she once said that she wanted it."
"He'll also zap an older guy into another dimension for hitting on her."- TechyDad
Creepy, Cooky, Mysetrious, Spooky, And One Great Dad!
"Gomez Addams."- Back2Bach
"Gomez Addams from the original 'Addams Family' show."
"A devoted and passionate spouse."
"A loving and supportive father."
"Cheerful, creative and energetic."
"Never a bad word for anyone that I can recall."- ElectricHelicoid
The Burgers Are An Added Bonus
"Bob Belcher."- International-Roll27
Realtor/Magician Extrodinaire!
"Phil Dunphy."- OakNogg
A Great Father In Any Galaxy
"Commander Adama."
"He would have stayed in that system forever to find his son." - Reddit
A Great Dad Before He Started Breaking Bad
"Hal from 'Malcolm in the Middle'."- PrincessBambi_2000
Such A Great Dad, He Became The Main Character!
"Dan Conner."
"He gained so much respect from me when he stood up for Jackie when her boyfriend beat her."
"Plus, I just really love John Goodman."- daddyspader
Veronica's Source Of Inspiration
"Keith Mars from 'Veronica Mars'."- procrastinatorsuprem
Boldly Going Where No Dad Has Gone Before
"Captain Ben Sisko."- WARMASTER5000
Everyone's Favorite Whistling Sheriff
"'Andy Griffith'."
"Opie Tayler would never have turned into such a great kid without his Pa."- AtheneSchmidt
No one can choose their parents, and thankfully, most people feel lucky with the parents they were given.
But every now and then, who doesn't wish their father was a joy inducing blue Dingo?
People Break Down Which Professions They Believe Are Completely Overpaid
When I interviewed for a copy editor position a few years ago, I was asked how much I made at my previous position. Now take note, employers and interviewers are NOT ALLOWED to ask you this, but since I didn't know that, I answered her honestly.
To say she was shocked was an understatement.
My previous position was a writing position, and she couldn't believe how much I was making at a writing job just out of college when people who had several years of experience above me were making less at similar positions.
Basically, she thought I was being overpaid and made that clear when she told me how much I would get paid at her company for a higher position.
We are all aware there are plenty of people that do important work who don't get paid enough. However, there are also people who do important work who also get paid too much. It's not something talked about often.
At least, it wasn't until Redditors broke that dam.
It all started when Redditor oeiswa asked:
"Which job is definitely overpaid?"
It's All Fun And Games
"I'm not sure what the position is but I have a buddy that worked at Dell and his job was to sit at a computer and press a button to accept and send forward IT service tickets. $100k salary and he said he spent his day playing games on his phone or watching youtube/netflix."
– wetworm1
"My old roommate had a cushy job like this that required a security clearance and he was careless and lost it while telling the other 3 of us that it was NBD because he wanted to be a teacher anyway."
"All 3 of the other roommates were teachers and we were horrified that he'd throw away $100k "play League all day" job for f*cking teaching"
– Badloss
"The sign of a good IT department is when they're all playing halo on their servers."
"If the IT department gets calls every five minutes, the loss of productivity of the entire company greatly overshadows five dudes playing halo."
– Ashi4Days
"I Moved My Mouse Today
"As someone in cyber security... cyber security. They are throwing around tons of money."
"Shhh. As someone in that field as well, don’t let them know that lol"
– Jamize
"As someone also in cyber security, who works from home and installed a mouse jiggler..."
"I have gotten so much sleep, I have no stress"
– throwaway129655
A Dangerous Game
"Politicians! Anywhere in the world are overpaid. Should have their salaries set to be equal to public servants such as teachers for example. Whatch teacher salaries increase"
– MJK75
"Underpaying politicians makes them a lot more susceptible to bribery"
– artichope
That's The Dream
"If I’m being honest, I’m probably overpaid. I'm a customer success manager at a tech company. My job is very straightforward and I don’t have to exert a ton of effort. It’s not super stressful and I get to travel quite a bit on the company’s dime. The only real skill that is required is emotional intelligence. Understanding the basics of tech and marketing is a plus, but you can learn that as you go. I make 6 figures."
– Dpg2304
"I'm a client of customer success managers and you guys do jack sh*t. You spend most of your time badgering me for meetings, and then making to-do lists that fulfil (I assume) some internal target but add zero value to my business. You hiring?"
– jolloholoday
We Decide
"Board of Director."
"Often get 6 figures for so little work that you have plenty of time to sit on multiple Boards!"
"Oh, and did I mention that it is often other companies' C-suite execs that sit on Boards? Being on the Board of Directors takes up so little time and involves so little work that you can sit on multiple Boards ALL WHILE BEING A C-SUITE EXEC!!!"
"BTW, who decides how much $$ the CEO gets? The Board does."
"Who's on the Board? C-suite execs, like CEOs, of other companies!"
"Anyone see a problem here?"
– S-Wind
Unsurprising
"Government. I asked some of them what they do and they couldn't even really describe it properly and if they don't come in to work for a week they don't get fired."
– Far-Side3272
"I used to work for a government run national laboratory... The amount of people that actually do nothing, take 2 months of vacation every year, and cannot even come close to telling you what their job entails is atrocious. A lot of the stigma surrounding government workers being lazy and unproductive is absolutely accurate."
– -B-K-
It Pays To Be The Boss
"I learned this week that vice principals in the school districts here get paid between 90-100k a year. The average teacher in the same school districts get paid around 35-40k. I’m not sure how this is legal."
– pwa09
But They're On TV!
"Morning show TV anchors."
"Back in the day they ere giving people like Matt Lauer $25 milion a year."
"GTFO of here."
"Sports broadcasters….they are paying these NFL guys huge bucks….do you ever tune in to a game because of who is doing the play by play?"
– plytime18
What Do You Do?
"Anyone on Wall Street. At this point, algorithms do all the research and work, yet you make a small fortune. Not to mention that even the most well-known and established firms are hella shady and are constantly involved in scandals, fraud, and morally bankrupt practices. All that doesn't even include the sexist, racist, and unacceptable environment Wall Street has and actively encourages. And yet when asked, I still can't get a straight answer on what exactly they do or how their salaries are justified."
– four-eyed-crow
I Want These Positions
"The recruiters, HR and marketing people at major tech companies who make Tik Tok videos about their easy “work” days. Maybe 2 hours of work and 6 hours of delicious food, gym, and other perks"
– Such-Echo6002
Sounds Interesting...
"Mine… cause I barely work these days 🌝"
– LillithsDream
"You're in IT too??"
– go_hyuck_yourself
They Said Clear Skies!
"Any meteorologist. They cannot get it right"
– Responsible-Handle19
Huh, I Never Knew!
"School bus drivers. They make around 40k a year, while school teachers only make around 30k. And to add to that special ed teachers get paid even less than normal teachers."
– AggravatingJury476
Sounds Pretty Nice
"Probably mine."
"I work nights as a line service tech for a private jet charter company. If we have no flights coming in or going out during my ten hour shift, I do next to nothing (I'll spend 30 minutes doing fuel QA as well as any odd jobs I can find, but that's it.) Instead, I tend to sleep for 5-6 hours- and management both knows this and does not object so long as we take care of any flights we may have."
"I get paid $22/hr for this, work eight days on, six off, and have the option to deadhead on a private jet if I want for free. I'm also being trained as a mechanic for free."
– rmp881
"The cost is that it's Night shift. No one wants it but it's gotta get done. Enjoy yourself."
– TempAcc64
Ouch!
"Football."
– TTVBirch2354_
"I don't know, man. It's tough being a football. Getting kicked around all day."
– troelsbjerre
These sound great if you're lucky enough to snap one of them up!
Do you have any to add to the list? Let us know in the comments.