People Divulge The Darkest Family Secrets They've Ever Uncovered
Since everybody has secrets, it makes sense that pretty much every family would have a secret or two as well. For most of us it's probably something relatively tame. Then there are the jucier things - like how some people have that one auntie who has had 3 husbands die on her... all in bed. ("Some people" may or may not be me.)
One reddit user opened up a serious can of worms when they asked:
What's a dark family secret you uncovered?
Fam, Reddit does not disappoint when they're asked to get dark. Some of the answers were so bad we didn't feel comfortable sharing them here. What we did share is full of things that some readers might find disturbing. There are stories of rape, murder, suicide, child abandonment, and more.
Proceed with caution.
I was the family secret. My biological parents started having kids as teenagers. For context, when my biological mom found out she was pregnant with me, she was 21 and I was their 4th child. They quickly realized they needed to get their act together. They were already struggling financially, had countless drug issues, etc. They decided that they were going to put me up for adoption. I was a baby.
I was adopted by a loving family quite quickly, only about an hour drive from the city I was born in. Coincidentally, I ended up returning to that same city for college. My sophomore year, I decided to seek out my biological family. Turns out, my biological parents separated right after I was born. My biological mom is still in and out of jail to this day, but my biological dad was able to start a new chapter. He got clean & sober, remarried, started going to church, and built a legitimate career for himself. He told his new wife about me when they first met, but didn't tell any of his children. My other siblings didn't know I existed.
Thanks to the internet, I ended up tracking down his work number and gave him a call. Later on, he said as soon as I said, "Hi, this might be really weird, but..." he knew it was me. Apparently, ever since I turned 18, him and his wife were waiting anxiously for me to resurface. They knew the day would come eventually. That evening, they sat my siblings down and told them about me. It was difficult at first, but now I'm 25 and me and him have a pretty solid relationship.
Grandpa Doesn't Know
My grandpa doesn't know that his dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver. He was like 2 when his dad died and can't remember any of it. The only thing he said was that he thought it involved a truck.
I found the article of my great-grandfather's death when I started digging into my grandpa's family tree. I also found that great-grandpa was the result of a teen pregnancy and was raised by his grandparents.
I'd tell him but I'm not really sure there's too much point in bringing it up now.
Great grandma ran a "hotel" in the late 1800s near a train Depot and army fort in the Oklahoma territory. Turns out it was a brothel. Great grandma was a madam! She must have been good at it cause she left a stack to my grandma.
When I was a kid I knew my grandfather was odd. He'd call me his grandson even when i was wearing a dress and clearly female, but my parents would tell me to ignore it.
Then I found out that when my dad was a kid, grandpa sold my dad's sister Barbara to someone and kept my dad and his brother because he didn't want a girl in the family. My dad found his sister Barbara around the time I was in middle school via calling around to get records, they were reunited, she's my favorite aunt now.
No one liked grandpa.
The Heirloom Dishes
We have a set of plates our family uses ONLY on Easter. My mom always fusses about that they are great grandmother, pre WWI family heirlooms. As someone who is interested in this kind of stuff, I looked up the makers mark. 1940s kitch, at best.
I haven't told anyone because I have my eyes on another set of china, and I want to seem magnanimous when I "compromise" with my sister to have these.
Not Her Fault
My cousin didn't stop talking the family for ten years because of her parents' divorce, like my parents said. She stopped because she and her dad got into an argument, and he physically shoved her into a basement, locked her inside, and refused to let her out.
He held her hostage down there for hours. Authorities got involved. He eventually got charged with domestic violence. A lot of the family blamed her for "getting her dad arrested" instead of holding him responsible for hurting her. So she stopped talking to them for about a decade.
She's married to a really nice guy and has two kids who she adores. This all happened about 20 years ago and she's doing really good now.
The "disabled" kid: My dad was pretty open about it but I know they kept it hush hush within their community. Idk how it when my dad found out but he discovered he had an older brother, his parents' oldest child. We'll call him Ron.
When Ron was preschool aged they were told he was "mentally retarded." Horrified, they turned him over to the state and never spoke of him again. Years later word got back to them that the kid was not in fact mentally disabled, he had "auditory dyslexia"(now called auditory processing disorder). He grew up to be a fully functioning independent adult.
He refused to have any contact with the family when my dad reached out to his brother. Totally fair, in my opinion.
Born Too Soon
My great aunt and uncle, had a baby when they were still in the dating phase. They were in love and getting married was a sure thing down the line. However, coming from a very conservative society in the Middle East back in the 50's, they had to give the child away to an orphanage. Once that was done, they got married and eventually had 4 children.
That child grew up knowing his origins and only allowed minimal contact with his family. He still isn't invited to family events and has a family of his own. When my great uncle passed away I was told he was amongst the randoms that came to the cemetery to pay respects, none of my cousins including myself know what he looks like but my dad and his siblings and cousins all do.
Its sad how he's punished for something that isn't his fault.
My grand-father tried to kill my dad with an axe. Literally showed up to his place of work and went looking to cut him down... and somehow, my unprepared dad fought him off bare handed.
So grandpa escaped and came back the next day to finish the job with a gun, but my dad didn't show up to work, so dude offed himself in the parking lot leaving the craziest suicide note ever.
There's a long backstory. To try not to go crazy here...
Grandpa beat my dad, dad's brothers and his mom. Grandpa was an alcoholic, for sure, but probably had mental problems too as they are run family. (yay)
Anyways, my dad had enough of it and worked a ton of jobs to save money. He was able to afford to escape and moved everyone out of the house in the middle of the night. They fled. New life kinda relocation thing.
So Grandpa was pretty pissed my dad "ruined his life" by, I guess, standing up for himself. Eventually the dude tracked down where my dad worked and went to end him.
I'm pretty sure his brothers and mom knew about the attempt, I don't know how many other family did. I only found out from my mom when I was moving away to university; and I have no idea why she told me. I thought it was bull, but eventually Dad confirmed it. It sort of filled in a lot of gaps in his character.
I have a vague idea of what was in the suicide note from what my mom said. I know it was a letter addressed to my dad laying the ultimate guilt trip. I think it was something about how much my dad had ruined his life by being born, then taking his wife away from him.
There was some passage about the church in it and how my dad had "let down all of religion" or God or something, and that Grandpa would see him in Hell. I'm kind of exaggerating, but whatever was in that note turned my dad into a staunch anti-religious person pretty much.
One Punch Grandpa
I asked my Mom why Grandpa didn't stay in his home town and take over the farm.
Turns out, Grandpa killed a man.
They had a bunch of local kids over to hang out. Grandpa couldn't find his sister and went looking for her. He came around the corner of the barn to find a guy was actually raping her.
Grandpa, grabbed the guy - gave him one punch in the head and killed him. He served 10 months in jail. After that, he decided to move a whole 10 miles away to another town.
The kicker is my Grandfather's name is Pleasant! He's referred to as one punch Grandpa now.
Mike The Mobster
When my Dad's uncle died, at his funeral there were a couple people there that dad recognized but only one he knew well. He and my dad had originally bonded because they were both named Mike. They became friends even though my dad was younger than him by about twenty years.
Mike was an acquaintance of dad's father, my grandfather. Mike was also involved in some shady, shady stuff. At the funeral Mike sat next to my dad and asked if he was doing good. My dad asked if he could be blunt, and admitted he was "glad the bastard was dead."
Mike got real quiet, and asked if he'd ever been hurt by his uncle. My dad admitted he had.
Mike told him that if anyone ever touched him like that again, to let him know and he and his boys would take care of them. My dad was about seventeen, so he would've known Mike about seven years at this point.
He trusted Mike. Always hung out with him when he came into town, which wasn't very often.
My dad took him up on his promise only once. He'd been having issues with some wannabe gang members in price hill and told Mike about this one kid who'd stabbed him in the thigh last time he crossed their turf. The kid had mugged him, stabbed him, and told him he was lucky it wasn't his throat. My dad ended up in the hospital with a few dozen stitches and a very large tetanus shot.
He told Mike, and Mike said he'd take care of it. My dad never saw the kid again, he'd just disappeared. Mike left town shortly after.
Few years later, my grandfather was in the early stages of the disease that would later take his life; and drunk as f**k so he was feeling talkative. He said to my dad:
"Ya know I outta thank you. You got that good for nothing mobster to skip town after killing that 'banger, and now I don't have to worry about paying my debts. You might not be a disappointment after all"
My dad never forgot that. Not just because of the back handed compliment, that was normal. But because of the bomb his dad had dropped about Mike being a part of the mob? Never knew that Mike had killed the kid, never knew that his dad was in trouble with him, never found out how his dad had gotten in with a man claiming to be a mobster.
Was Mike actually part of the mob? In Cincinnati in the '60s it was possible, but not probable. More likely he was part of a gang and used the threat of the mafia to keep my grandfather scared enough to be manipulated.
I do think he genuinely liked my dad, though. I don't think their relationship was more than platonic, but also I've never killed a man for my "friends."
My great uncle shot my great aunt. Apparently she had Alzheimer's and he decided it was best to just kill her, then he turned the gun on himself. From what I heard though he didn't die instantly but rather held on for around a week before finally dying.
I found out my grandma's grandfather was a Nazi scientist that fled Germany in 1945, changed his name and moved to South America. We still don't know what his real last name was.
I may or may not be a product of an affair between my mum and my (now) step-dad.
I found an old letter between them, talking about how he wanted to mess around and then hide in the cupboard when her husband got home. I also know that he bought her gifts before I was born...
Too scared to confirm though. I still see bio-dad, and have a half sister and family on that side. I hate to think of how everything would be turned upside down if it turned out to be true.
My grandmother actually told me before she passed that her cousin was Paul John Knowles, the Casanova Killer. As far as I know, my mother's side completely believes this to be true while my dad's side didn't know at all.
My dad believes this explains a lot about my mom. (Their divorce wasn't the nicest)
Family Toke SeshGiphy
My uncle found pot in his living room in between two couch cushions, so he brought it to my aunt's boyfriend who was dealing while being a chef in the early days of his restaurant.
Aunt's boyfriend looked at it an said "oh that's not mine, that's your mother's,"
Turns out my Grammy bought pot to feel better cause of retirement, and she and like 5 of my aunt's and uncles had a big toke sesh like that 70's show in my Grammy's basement.
Not dark but still, I wanted to share it
It's Not Official
My parents aren't 'officially' married. They are married in traditional Hindu ways but since my Mom had the same surname, they never bothered to have the marriage registered so technically, they have been in a very long live in relationship (about 25 years)
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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People Who Make More Money From Their Side Hustles Than Their Day Jobs Share Their Experiences
In this day and age, it's not uncommon for people to have a side gig -- an extra job as a way to make more money -- aside from their regular 9 to 5.
It's also not super uncommon for some of these people to find that their side gig can -- and sometimes does -- pay them more than their 9 to 5.
My best friend is a brilliant journalist by trade, but he makes way more money by freelance editing than he does as at the paper he writes for. Freelance editing is a side gig, however. He doesn't do it all the time, and yet makes enough to pay his monthly rent just by doing one freelance job!
Redditors have discovered other side gigs that pay them more than their regular 9 to 5, and are ready to share their experidnces.
It all started when Redditor DonkKinnis asked:
"People that actually found a side hustle that makes more than your 9-5, what was it?"
I Need A Weapon
"Making swords, it started as a hobby - like let's see where we can take it. It is now a company with 15 guys employed, and 1,500+ swords a year. Best job ever"
"You’re living my husbands dream. He would love to forge swords as a hobby. If you feel so inclined, can you message me with info on your starter setup? It’s my goal to surprise him someday with a fully functioning beginner forge, but I have no idea where to start"
"Lucky for you guys England and France are at war. Business must be booming."
Happy And Healthy
"I was a therapist for 5 years in acute inpatient psych, and I burned out HARD. From awful pay, zero security, staff getting cut but workload increasing, and the work culture being one of “suffering Olympics” where you’d see who can work the most on the least sleep, it was inhumane."
"In the last 2 years, I turned my photography hobby into a successful business! I shoot weddings, elopements, couples’/family sessions, you name it. I work much less and make much more, plus the second hand dopamine is fantastic for my own mental health."
"Me, working inpatient psych as a nurse, studying this thread like my life depends on it."
"I sculpt miniatures for 3D printing, RPG, DnD etc. I make roughly triple what I was doing at a previous ''real'' entry job."
Just Whistle While You Work
"Cleaning houses makes pretty good money. It's surprising how much people will pay you to just come in once a week and do a little cleaning."
"My dad told me once of a acquaintances wife who started a cleaning business. Not by hour but charged for the task. Floors swept and mopped was $xx dishes done and benches wiped $xx carpets vaccumed $xx bathroom cleaned $xx toilet $xx. It worked brilliantly esp for young busy working men. Having set prices for set tasks was easier for them to get their heads around than 3-4 hours cleaning. She did very very well out of it"
Flowers DO Cost A Fortune!
"Wedding Florist. Quit the 9-5 last year!"
"I sell brownies on delivery apps"
"There is a kid who did this with frozen pizzas from his apartment on YouTube."
"This is f-ing brilliant."
I Want One!
"I sew stuffed animals, quilts and sometimes children’s clothing. I use to work in a nearby hospital working with Covid patients and Covid samples. I can make my old paycheck in a day if I spend the entire day working."
Should I Be Scared?
"Building killer stereo systems I’ve also have been building patio chairs really just making stuff if you can make it but make it well and take pride in your craftsmanship there’s a market for it"
"Read this too fast and thought it said “serial killer system” and I was very confused and slightly worried for a moment."
A New Idea Is A Good Idea
"I’m a software engineer. I had a coworker who was into bowling and couldn’t find an app he liked to track his stats, so he wrote one himself after using it, his friends started asking if he could give it to them. He put it on the App Store. Within a year close to half his income was coming from his app selling."
"He tried to repeat his success a few times, but none of his other apps ever caught on."
Didn't Even Know This Was A Thing
"So technically I don’t have a 9-5 cause I’m a student, but it’s still a VERY well paying hustle."
"Essentially all I do I drive around the city, go to random stores, buy a lottery ticket, see if they ask for ID, and leave. Then I fill out some paperwork, and I’m done."
"They compensate full gas charge, and give roughly 30$ per store. I can easily do 20 stores in a day. The problem is once all the stores are done, I can’t check anymore."
"I'm the unofficial tech guy for a pretty large retirement community. It started by me setting up a dvd player for my grandma, she started telling her neighbors and now one day a week I go by and will spend the day doing minor stuff for tech illiterate people. Half the time it replacing batteries, allot of the residence are given computers their kids or grand kids that ill set up for them. I charge next to nothing, but usually will ask for the old tech if im replacing something which i refurbish and sell. Alot of people buy their grandma new mac book every 2 years that are barely used, then given to me."
Fun, Fun, Fun
"I became an Uber driver and make over 10k a month these days. Really enjoying it too."
Music Ties It Together
"I started a wedding DJ business and found people were willing to pay a premium for a non-cheesy DJ who doesnt make the night or party about them. Even though I only worked Friday-Sat-Sundays due to weddings mostly being held on these days, I was making 2x my 9-5 job."
"This day and age it does make sense to do this. Invest in a good sound system. Invest in a decent light setup. Be sure to have a wi-fi connection at the venue so if someone requests a song you can easily download it. Watch people have a great time"
The Universe At Work
"I left my job in publishing and performed the same functions on a freelance basis for about two years."
"I made only about 5-10 percent less gross. Once you factor in my lack of commute to Manhattan, not havimg to buy clothing for work, not getting lunch out, etc., net was only single digits less."
"It was also cool because every so often the universe would toss me a random extra day off. That was hard to give up."
Check And Mate
"I make custom chess board sets for professional chess players."
I understand. I would pay big money for one of those!
Do you have a side hustle we should know about? Let us know in the comments.
Men Share The Question They've Always Wanted To Ask Women But Were Too Nervous
Let's be honest: men and women are different, and even that statement is pretty diminutive of the truth.
Men and women feel things differently. They think about things differently and go through different things. Their experiences and knowledge base are different.
Sometimes, this means men and women don't understand each other very well. The best way to solve a mystery is to ask a question, but men sometimes feel nervous about doing so. They don't want to offend women by getting too personal, and they don't know how else to proceed.
That's why it's a good thing Reddit exists. Men have finally asked their questions, and women have answered!
It all started when Redditor Asking35 asked:
“Men, what is something about women you are curious about but too afraid to ask?"
"What’s with all the pillows?"
"They make this glorious nest so I can sleep on my side without my hips tightening overnight, support behind my back and shoulders, support against my boobs, good positioning for my arms and legs, etc..."
"It's wonderfully comfy and cozy."
Health Is Hard
"Why do you steal my food"
"You left it unguarded lol"
""I'll have the 'My wife's not hungry". It comes with French fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets."
"omg I've been waiting for the opportunity to answer this!"
"I don't know about other women, but for me it's because my husband isn't as health conscious about what he eats as I am. And I know that doesn't make sense at first but hear me out..."
"I don't have the same metabolism as my husband and have to monitor what I eat not to gain weight, which I don't like doing cuz it makes my back hurt. The problem is, my husband constantly brings home junk food or take out. He'll always ask if I want something from taco bell or Wendys or something and I'll say no because I genuinely don't want him to bring me any cuz I'm trying to be healthy. But it's always wishful thinking because as soon as he comes home and I catch a whiff of those McDonald's fries I literally can't resist eating some. Or when we're on the couch and he's munching on a cheesy taco, my salad start to look less appetizing and I find myself just staring at his food."
"This never happened when I lived alone because I would just buy healthy groceries so there wouldn't be any junk food at home tempting me with their seductive amazingness. And when I eat out alone I just order something healthy and there's nobody there tempting me with their delicious plate of nachos."
"So yeah to sum it up it's basically just me wishing to eat healthy but then not having any self control when my partner indulges in junk food in front of me."
"Any guys out there, if you want to test if your girl is doing the same thing, try eating healthier and see if she tries to steal your bowl of brown rice with veggies the same as she steels your fries. If she has no problem leaving your food alone when you eat healthier, then maybe stop eating junk food in front of her lol. Or continue, but just expect that she is not going to want to order whole meal but is going to have trouble resisting a couple fries when the smell hits her."
Confidence Is Key
"Do you actually like it when a man approaches you with the intention of asking you on a date? I don't mean catcalling and that sort of weird sh*t, just being genuine and straightforward."
"Depends on the situation. And talk to/get to know me first."
"Also, if I say “no” don’t persist."
"Depends a little on how. If it's someone I've already met a couple of times, like a colleague/fellow student or friend of a friend, I don't mind if he is forward and asks me out - that confidence is attractive, and something I'd envy him, lol."
"If its someone I don't know or just met I prefer if he gives me his contact information rather than asking for mine. I'll most likely say no if it is the latter."
"Something simple like, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to go out sometime to get to know you better. Here's my number". That puts me less on the spot and if he's not my type there won't be the awkwardness of immediate rejection."
"But that's just me."
"Do you admire a guy after he chooses to be vulnerable and bare it all in front of you?"
"Yes. Personally, I have a hard time opening up and just talking about my feelings in general. Whenever my husband does, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right."
Sending A Message
"Why do they all put their hand on their man’s stomach for photos?"
"We want to make sure whomever is looking at the pic to know this is my romantic partner, not my friend."
"Mine, that’s why."
"Is there a calendar function to the menstrual cycle that you guys have memorized? Like does it happen some time on X number week of the month or is it much more systematic and occurs every 30/31 days?"
"First of all, the period is the first 5-7 days of the menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle is 28-35 days long."
"Everyone is different. Some people it’s every 28 days on the dot exactly, other people it’s “oh it’ll happen sometime this week” and some people it can vary massively. The average is every 28 days but a normal (normal meaning not to be concerned about) is 28-35 days. And then some people do not have a regular cycle, I myself have had it go from 32 - 52 days in the last year."
"Your period happens 12-14 days after you ovulate, which happens on day 12-14 in a 28 day menstrual cycle. The time in between is called the luteal phase. Then your period starts, and the cycle starts over on day 1."
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
"Hmm, well I've always wondered why women need an entire Sephora store's worth of makeup just to go to the grocery store. But I'm pretty sure if I ask that question out loud, I'll get hit with a mascara wand. So I'll just keep wondering in silence."
"I’ll gladly answer this without throwing anything at you!😂 Make-up is fun; it really is that simple for a lot of us. That’s along with wanting to look our best, which in turn makes us feel our best."
I Don't Get Cold...Sort Of
"How are y’all not freezing when you wear dresses to the club in winter"
"We are. We’re just tougher than men ;)"
"It’s not that we aren’t cold most times, it’s that we are taught by society in general that we have to ignore our own comfort for other people."
It's Mine Now
"Why do you take our hoodies and never give them back?"
"Because they smell good and they're comfy :)"
"what part of the male body are you attracted to"
"Hands that are well kept and groomed finger nails, nice eyebrows and eyes"
"I personally like a nicely trimmed beard. Scraggly beards look horrible IMO."
Hear Me Coming
"Do y'all ever wear heels just to hear the clip-clopping of them on the pavement like you're the main character in a movie? Because that's what I'd do if I wore heels, and I wish to know if there's a woman out there whose brain is on my wavelength or if this is just me."
"Yup. but the feeling is stronger when walking in a fancy building"
"I choose my heels by a) how they look b) how they sound. If they are quiet, I don’t usually get them."
Exactly! What's the point of quiet heels?
Thanks to the ladies of Reddit for sharing their responses to some of these Redditor's questions.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I've never dated someone older.
Just hasn't happened.
I'm not averse to it, but I'd feel more comfortable with someone closer in age.
I hear there are a ton of benefits, though.
Learning. Growing. Sharing.
It can be comforting to be with someone who has navigated life in certain ways already.
Redditor hotmomkaia asked:
"Men of Reddit! What are the advantages of dating an older woman?"
The Reddit community opened up about their dating experiences.
RandyOlivia Wilde Reaction GIFGiphy
"I've dated some older women who were frisky as hell."
"My girlfriend is only a few years older than me, but she is BY FAR the horniest I've been with."
Talk 2 Me
"The communication. An older woman that can communicate well will cut through the bulls**t and get straight to what she wants and expects. It’s refreshing as hell."
"Yeah agree. My GF and I are both in our late 50s. Had a long talk on the phone last night and spent some time talking about potential issues between us. Both of us have come out of long and not particularly pleasant marriages."
"We each have low maintenance adult kids. We both have our own places so we don't have to be in each other's space all the time. We are both financially secure so if we want to spend money on some together time then we just do it. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Older women play less mind games than younger women do. They're more straight up, and often know what they want. The difference between an older woman flirting and a younger woman flirting, in my experience, is night and day."
"Younger woman flirting: 'Hey I like your hair, can I touch it?' Older women flirting: 'I am absolutely swooning over you. If I wasn't married, you'd be with me tonight.'"
"I've been with a few older women, I have also dated women of a closer age. In my personal experience I will say that older women communicate much more, don't have unrealistic standards, they have a lot more experience both in life and the bedroom. The biggest one of all is that older women are just super hot! Is there anything I've missed?"
Eat Updinner GIFGiphy
"She knows where/what she wants to eat."
"Right, but she still won’t tell you."
The food argument has been the downfall of many a couple. Just pick a place!
She KnowsGrowth Growing GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
"Maturity. It’s night and day. Most older women actually have their lives together and don’t play the childish game of validation."
"When I was 18 I dated a 28 year old for about a year. I wasn't a virgin, but my experience up until then was just awkward teenage sexual stuff. She taught me the value of the non-sex parts of a sexual relationship. How to listen and learn what your partner enjoys and how to communicate what you enjoy. She helped mature my views on relationships, foreplay and sex in ways that someone my age wouldn't have been able to."
"I’m not dating an older woman but I am in a sexual friendship with a 49 year old mom (we have an agreement that the sex will stop but the friendship will continue if either of us get in a serious relationship). She is extremely good at responding to text messages and being on time. She even apologized for being five minutes late one time. I love this about her because most people I know can’t freaking answer their phone."
"Depends what you are after but I found that there was less pressure of 'is this going to be long term' as you both have realistic expectations up front and know that will not change. Generally because of that, I found there was never any drama and just honest conversations. With one, she would actually talk about what sort of woman she saw me ending up with one day. No jealousy, just an understanding that we were enjoying each other's company for now."
Helping Mearchivesontario yes GIF by Archives of Ontario | Archives publiques de l'OntarioGiphy
"I'm not dating an older woman, mainly because I'm married to one."
"She is 5 years older than me, but it sometimes seems like a much bigger gap when you account for maturity level."
"She's actually helped me do a better job of understanding and managing my emotions, which is nice."
"Perhaps more confidence, steadiness, realism, honesty to themselves and others, fewer illusions and less sensitivity to influence. All just generalisations from my own experience. I don't have mommy issues or anything but I feel more comfortable and equal with slightly older women. I know myself pretty well, I'm pretty independent and I'm not being pushed either."
Love who you love.
Age is only a number.
Do you have any experiences or lessons to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Sex and love.
The heart, the brain, and the body can fall into a "love daze."
Maybe because we've been taught to place too much importance on these matters.
Life can be very fulfilling with love and very complete without them.
But Reddit had a few things to say about dispelling some common misconceptions.
Redditor These-Froyo2242 asked:
"What are some misconceptions about sex or relationships that many people believe?"
Love and sex are misconceptions in general.
Not a FixDont Touch Me Go Away GIF by One ChicagoGiphy
"That your relationship problems or lack of sex gets better when you get married. LOL."
"Or have a child! Yeah cause the incredibly hard task of keeping a tiny human alive will most def help a failing relationship!"
"Getting a girlfriend will not automatically make your depression and self hatred magically disappear."
"At the time I didn't know I had chronic depression so I was confused too. When puberty started my happiness was gone. I had no friends so I thought friends would fix me."
"I got amazing friends and even if I had wonderful adventures with them when I was home alone I cried every time. Then started to think I just needed a gf... And when I had one, the most amazing girl in the world I still felt empty and sad. She suffered a lot because she noticed my struggle and I was an idiot. She left me without knowing how much I loved her."
"That you won't ever have a fight or argument, that it's easy peasy lemon squeezy."
"Yes, but how you disagree matters a lot. Arguments should not devolve into name calling, extended shouting matches, or berating, and it's GOOD to take breaks to calm down/regulate if you're upset. And if one partner is regularly berating the other it's a really really bad thing and not a 'typical argument.'"
"That you have to put up with bulls**t just because it's a relationship. People seem to think it's normal to put up with someone giving you grief just because you're going out with them. Don't put up with behavior in relationships that you wouldn't expect from a best friend."
"To an extent. I think relationships are more complex than that. It can bring out a different side of you when it's a life partner that you feel you need to trust and count on and vice versa. What matters is that you both acknowledge faults, issues and work through them together to improve."
Unhealthynew girl help GIFGiphy
"Drama = passion. That's unhealthy. Be happy in contentment."
"I always hated that the TV show New Girl fell into this trap. They put the main character into the healthiest relationship she has in the whole show then... she dumps him because they never fight? Yeah that's a healthy message to the audience."
Don't use movie and TV love as a blueprint.
Be YouTreat Yourself GIF by blackbearGiphy
"That how my partner sees or treats me is a reflection of how desirable or lovable I am. Nah. If someone doesn't appreciate you or isn't attracted to you, that's about them. Don't change yourself for other people. Be your own person. Love yourself."
"Sex should be fun and natural, and it's ok and not a problem if your partner, says not tonight I'm knackered from work. They still want you they still want to be with you. They are just tired from work, but people get too hung about sex in a relationship. Yes it's definitely a huge part of the closeness in a relationship, but your relationship shouldn't be defined on sex alone."
"If you are just in it for your own pleasure, it’s gonna be bad sex. Sex is a team sport."
"Say it louder for the people in the back please. Last person i was with wanted to do it all the time, but I didn't always have the same energy. he started complaining about me not putting in the effort and I'm like... we just screwed 4 hours ago idk what you expect."
"Also, as a woman, that being desirable is the ultimate goal for a healthy and pleasing sex life. My sexual experience is so much more than my body and it's appearance/desirability. Sex should be mutually pleasing. As women, I think we are fed a lot of crap about what being sexy means. It's good to unpack all of that and ask yourself what YOU want."
Like A...like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy
"It's okay to be a virgin. It should not be stigmatized."
"Absolutely. For years I thought I was broken because I was a virgin in my mid 20s. When I finally lost it when I was 28, I wondered why everyone made such a big deal about it."
All Sizes Welcome
"It’s okay to be average sized in the pants. Many women have said they prefer average."
"Penis size and confirmation gets talked about all the time, but there’s also a lot of variation in labial and vaginal size and conformation. Physical sexual compatibility relies a lot on how those sizes relate and to be honest the rest of your anatomy and preferred sexual positions also tie in to it."
There's quite a lot to unpack here! It seems that open honest communication between partners is best.
Do you have any wisdom to share? Let us know in the comments below.