Ah, denial what a lovely river. Isn't it?
But denial is a problem.
We can't keep turning blind eyes to the things we don't feel comfortable seeing.
So let's have an honest chat about the things we know are happening that we pretend are not.
Maybe once the initial shock dissipates we can move forward.
RedditorSpartan1694wanted to compare notes on what people turn a blind eye to. They asked:
"[Serious] What are some of the most common dark realities people choose to live in denial about?"
Rude customer phone service. I'm tired. I know there are more important things, but we mustn't be complacent.
Not Forever
Truth Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Just because something lasts a long time - like a marriage, or a job - doesn't mean it's any good at all. There are lots of reasons that things don't end, some are very bad."
legno
memories...
"That you can also alter your memories to believe your own lie if you think about it enough."
Kallyanna
"Had a girlfriend in L.A. who made this a habit. She said that there's no reason to not embrace your own reality; who wants to feel crappy about all kinds of memories? Just alter them. She went on to date a movie star."
Dripdry42
"I remember learning about this one case when I was in school about how researchers recruited people for a study who had never been in a hot air balloon, but then showed them fake pictures of themselves in the balloons and talked about it enough that at the end they believed they had been in a hot air balloon."
ideologyuniverse83
YOU
"Sometimes you’re the problem."
7sodab0sc0
"It’s pretty wild to me how many people can’t recognize this. For myself I remember as a young teen I would always play the victim with most problems in my life, but as more people called me out on it I realized that I needed to take more accountability for my mistakes. It’s pretty sad that a lot of times people will be too stubborn to question themselves and only blame others for any problems."
Such_Language_1588
The End
"Just because people aren’t suicidal don’t mean they don’t want to be dead."
bigjuju27
"The only reason I don't want to do it myself is that I have this philosophical thing: Everyone only gets to die once. Life is a resource everyone only has one of, and generally people don't want to give it up. That means that my life, or my willingness to give my life, has value. I don't want to live, but I also don't want to throw it away."
"I want to die pushing an old lady out of the road or saving a kid from a burning building or something. I want my utter detachment from my own mortality to create a net good in the world. For at least one person. So I have a death wish, but I'm not suicidal, because I'm saving that gift everyone can only give once for someone who needs it."
AsaTJ
Gone...
Giphy"You will lose everyone you've ever known and cared about - either to the end of the relationship, your death, or theirs. We only borrow the people we love for a short time."
Frequent_Blueberry71
It all fades away. Including us, we'll fade as well. Just truth.
Where are you?
Tv Show Reaction GIF by The Daily Show with Trevor NoahGiphy"The memory of most people’s existence will be completely forgotten sooner than you think, even by their own families. I can’t even tell you the names of my great-great grandparents."
Detective-Slink
"too old to work"
"Gen X is in serious trouble when it comes to paying for retirement."
Bettiephile
"They won't retire. Simple. They keep raising the retirement age. Did you know it used to be 55? Now it's 67.5. I promise it will be 70 by the time millennials retire. If not even older. Oh and retirement benefits have been getting worse and worse too. So don't forget about that. There may not even be "retirement" when we are old. It might just be 'too old to work.'"
thedankbank1021
I will never be rich...
"That a majority of us are completely utterly ordinary people, and that’s okay."
YeeHawSid
"I am an accountant. I have a husband and 2 cats. I'm not having kids. I have a little apartment, and maybe one day a house with a garden. I will never achieve anything significant. I don't even want to have my own business. I will never be famous. I will never be rich."
"I will be forgotten by everyone within a couple of decades of my death. Nothing will be different because I was here. I am completely and utterly okay with that. I like being anonymous and unimportant. It's very freeing. I am very grateful for my life. I am very, very happy."
xenchik
Down the Road...
"There could be kidnapping victim suffering from extreme abuse right down the road from you and you’d never know. I work in daycare. There’s a lady I used to work with who discovered something like this. She said she went to babysit for a neighbor who she didn’t know had a baby. Was told not to go into the baby’s room. Did anyway. And discovered an abused child. Who had apparently been with this lady for years."
cleaning-meaning
Not Enough
Keep Going I Love It GIFGiphy"Love is not enough. Loving someone enough will not ensure your relationship will be successful. Loving your child enough will not ensure they love you back or that they live a good life."
Frequent_Blueberry71
Too Soon
"One thing wakes me up every night. The fear that I might lose everyone in blink of an eye. My friend lost his entire family in an accident and a year later he passed away from depression."
Twisted_37Banana
"Lost both my parents fairly young, not both at once but like a year apart for each other. Some times making jokes is the only thing that makes it hurt less. Some people get uncomfortable with the jokes but as Dan Soder says 'you know who hates dead dad jokes? People who don't have dead dad's.'"
InternationalChip646
Limitations
"The human body is actually pretty fragile when put in everyday situations like going 70 mph, or working around machinery, or even just falling backwards and hitting your head or your back. Such things can lead to injuries you won't recover from. And once you are disabled, you have to learn to live with limitations you never had before. For the rest of your life."
greenwoody2018
Horrors
"Horrible things happen everyday, and the ones we hear about are largely a reflection of self-interest."
kindle139
"You can easily pick and choose the horrible stories you tell to paint a picture of the world. You can tell 100% true stories and still lie."
Catctus
Just Once
"One Accident or tragedy can completely flip your life upside down."
the_lejhand
"Worked as a CNA for a few years and one patients story always stuck with me. He was an elderly man who had gotten paralyzed and was in rehab trying to get WHATEVER function he could get back."
"How did he get paralyzed? He went to pick up the newspaper in his driveway on a rainy day. Slipped while bending over and hit his head. That was it. Man got paralyzed just trying to grab the fucking newspaper. Life is horrifyingly fragile."
LostprophetFLCL
Good Things
"Good things can happen to bad people. They can live the best of lives and sleep soundly at night. They could live their entire lives and die without ever being held responsible for anything they’ve done. Millions of horrible people have lived and died and no one will ever know of the horrors they’ve been apart of. Meanwhile, horrible things can happen to good people. In the grand scheme of things there is no universal morality or justice. Most people don’t get what they deserve - except in movies."
1810v
Is it Real?
"That our memories are subjective, full of errors and patches in order to maintain a balance in our understanding of events. Some memories are even false and some memories are so different from other people present at the same events that actions, reactions and outcomes could be entirely opposite from each other. Humans assume that memories are correct all of the time, however they are prone to errors and even change over time."
AndroChromie
Bad Blood
bad blood GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy"Toxic relatives... Just because they have your blood doesn't mean they are good for you or that you have to stay there."
JitsuJake
Know your problem...
"Their alcoholism. It’s incredibly scary how many people go home after work and have 4+ drinks a night, every night. Then they deny that it’s a problem because they don’t feel buzzed or don’t drink past that. Nobody wants to face the reality that perhaps the drinking is a problem."
FormerStuff
Well this wasn't the humdinger I was hoping to read, but now we know. Eyes wide open.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
CW: Domestic violence.
Losing interest in someone is a part of life.
It can happen in an instant.
You can be madly in love at midnight, and then at 12:10, you're running like Cinderella on fire from the ball.
"Let them keep the shoe!"
Pursuing someone isn't easy.
Because love isn't a guaranteed win.
And the more you learn, the less you may want.
It all can be a cruel universal joke.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the times when the pursuit needed to end, so they asked:
"What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?"
I lose interest all the time.
A sneeze can turn me off. #foreversingle
Bad Swipe
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Brought a kid she never mentioned on a tinder date (I’m 18)."
Relief-Old
Squeaky Clean...
"After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. Hit the eject button pronto. Never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings, and presented as squeaky clean."
drmonkeytown
No Womb For You
"After the second date he said he can’t wait to put a baby in me. And when I asked if we can get to know each other first he said he doesn’t have time for a 6-12 months courtship. He already knows what he wants. Anyway... I did let him know I’m not a womb for hire, and never talked again."
notyourusualprincess
No Reason
"Yelled at someone at a party for a miscommunication that was no one's fault. I get it, it was frustrating, but she just yelled at this woman for no reason."
KaRue3
"This is a reason why a standard question for me when starting to see someone new is 'What are the odds you’ll yell at me in public?' I always phrase it almost like a joke, so the way they start saying in what situations they would definitely yell at you will tell you all you need to know. Sometimes it’s very obviously a joke, and sometimes it’s obvious how dead serious they are."
The1Zackiechan
Succubus
Love Me GIFGiphy"I realized he was using me for favors. He was always needy, but never there when I desperately needed him."
blonde_77
When it's all about them... run.
Human Garbage...
Difficult People Reaction GIF by HULUGiphy"When he stopped talking to me after I didn't send him nudes, turns out he asks multiple girls for nudes, then sells the pictures to some of his friends. A complete human garbage, if you ask me."
Scarlet_Rot_Falke
True Evil
"They hurt my dog."
"Now, I was into this guy for a while. Bigger guy. Seemed really sweet. I invited him over after we hit it off, and my dog, being a dog, came up to see this new person. He responds to this inquisitive sniffing my kicking them in the face, and seeming proud of it, saying that you 'have to show a mutt who's boss.'"
"I told him to get the f**k out of my house and never come back."
"I'm still very single, but my dogs haven't been hurt like that since."
InkblotDoggo
Cheater
"They started flirting with my best friend."
Minibersy
"I was the best friend and I didn't even do anything but it killed our friendship. We were young so looking back I think it was just emotional but damn. His girlfriend was being an a**hole to him but he saw me as the problem. It made me feel so Go**amn helpless at the time. Everyone treated me like I was a cheater. Like I led her on."
Pencilowner
"Oof been there, my BF told me he was in love with my best friend. thankfully he told me at the exact time I was already planning on breaking up with him."
lifeisntsirius
Keep Looking
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"The biggest red flag for me is pursuing someone who loves attention on themselves but is not very interested in your life. Basically drop the pursuit right there and look for someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them."
Pretend_Tea6261
Always follow the red flags and save yourself the trouble of becoming emotionally invested in someone troublesome.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Life is beautiful.
But life is really damn arduous.
Every day we're witness to the unfairness of it all.
That can cause some deep internal struggle.
And then that's why people change.
Sometimes for the worse.
Redditor Brianna6871 wanted to compare notes on what makes us all... over it, so they asked:
"What has caused you to become bitter?"
Becoming bitter is easy. I try to fight against it.
Loyalty is overrated...
Happy Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Being with my company for 8 years then finding out new people that I trained make more than me."
km8907
"If it makes you feel any better, this is very common. Loyalty is overrated. The more you stay, the more they take you for granted. I also made the same mistake."
sensiferum
K.I.T
"Attempting to stay in contact with friends and then realizing they wouldn’t do the same for you once you stop."
Snowgoosey
"I agree. I used (and still do, to some extent) to have the mentality of 'don't make it into a competition, if you care about someone- contact them!'" And I did. But after 10 times of being the one initiating the conversation I just wonder if they'd bother to do the same."
"Each time they say 'I've been meaning to call you!' and they never do. And I'm talking good friends who share history together, not someone I met a month ago at the gym. I still love them of course, but this bugs me and leaves a bitter taste whenever I think of them."
Michelle_Evelyn
Hard Pills
"Expectations. I had these expectations about how life was supposed to go, how I was supposed to be. Life didn't work out that way, and I know it was my own doing by having those expectations, but I'm still bitter about it."
edgarpickle
"I find that going from 'promising and intelligent young person' to 'average middle-aged man' has been a hard pill to swallow that snuck up on me. I will say that having a young child and great partner still gives me lots of joy and hope."
GarconMeansBoyGeorge
Burned Out
"Working in healthcare."
RemoteForeign3300
"Worked a decade in healthcare, seven years in the military and three as a civilian. Every professional I ever met, from the doctor on down to the nursing assistant, was burned out and sick of seeing patients. It was amazing I stayed as long as I did."
BroScience4LYFE
"Yes, I feel like part of me changed drastically because of this. Don't get me wrong, I really like to work in a hospital but sometimes it make me lose faith in humanity."
Yeny356
Life
Angry Aubrey Plaza GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Aging and realizing that good, kind people suffer and die far more often than the sh**heads of the world."
Josephdirte
Aging is a good thing but can be sad. Who doesn't miss the past?
Nothing to do...
I Have No Idea Reaction GIF by MTV Movie & TV AwardsGiphy"After realizing that hard work is not fairly rewarded. Someone else who is lazier and/or less competent can get something that you wanted/deserved, and there's nothing you can do about it."
kofed62181
The End
"The death of my wife."
Pitbull60usa
"I’m with you. My husband died 3 years and 4 days ago at the age of 42. It’s not just that your favourite person and best friend in the world is gone. It’s that everything you thought would be your future is gone too."
"Cancer f**king sucks."
Intelligent-Low6442
"Dude I'm so sorry I couldn't imagine. Just know she wouldn't want you to be bitter at the world. She would want you to be happy, easier said then done but do some s**t for you man maybe take a trip or something."
"Nothing will ever change the pain, but shaking life up might at least mix it up with other emotions. All the love!!"
knowledge-is-power91
The Past
"Realizing my childhood trauma left me unable to form meaningful relationships and now I have to invest a crap ton of money and time to maybe (!) achieve some sort of progress and peace. I envy the people who grew up with loving parents and have the confidence to choose good friends, partners and look at life with hope."
whatdrivesme_insane
Worse and worse...
"The unshakable hopelessness that the world is only getting worse and worse. No matter what we do to try and better ourselves financially will be met with some new corporate bullshi**ery that will knock us back down. I'm losing my motivation to keep pressing forward. I just want to retreat into my apartment and do what makes me happy until I die."
"Working on my masters in education right now, and as much as I want to teach in school, all the horror stories I see all over the place are making me wonder if this is the right choice. It really feels like I'm jumping into a bureaucratic hellhole, but I've invested this much time, money, and energy into this career that I have to see it through."
Cedrico123
Trust Fail
"My ex cheated on me. My job told me a bunch of lies to get me in the door and now I feel mistreated. Housing is a nightmare and landlords just take your application money and give the place to someone else. It feels like everybody is just out for themselves and I can’t trust what anyone says. I’m tired."
exhale358
Oh Humanity
Good Night No GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"People."
JimAbaddon
"The general public has gotten so much worse over the years. I really dislike having to interact."
NCBadAsp
Life can certainly get us down. Even if we try squeezing the lemons into lemonade, you tend to get some pulp in your eye.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments
People Divulge The One Secret That Would Change The Way People Saw Them If They Found Out
Everyone has a secret–a shameful history, an embarrassing tendency, or a life hack they want to keep to themselves.
Whatever it is, secrets can either completely destroy one's reputation because of a regretful past or make them venerated for an admirable act done anonymously to avoid praise.
These mysterious qualities keep you from fully understanding who your friends really are.
Do you truly really know your boss, the person you've looked up to all your life, your child, or even your spouse?
What would happen if you discovered something about them that wasn't intended for you to find out?
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Difficult-House6853 asked:
"What’s a secret that would change how the people around you look at you if they knew?"
If you think you know everyone in your little community, you have another think coming.
Former Group Member
"I was in a cult for a couple years."
– Sleepy-Spacemen
The Escape Plan
"All of my friends and family are Jehovahs witnesses, they think I am but I plan to leave. 85% of them will shun me when I leave."
– Allegedlystupid
Complete Christening
"Our house was the first one on our street to be built. My husband and I had sex in every single house on our street while they were under construction. I imagine our neighbors would look at us differently if they know we’d f'ked in their house before they even had a chance to."
– MediocreMerkin
The discussion people have with themselves can be startling.
The Passive Confidante
"People think that I’m a good listener, and that just makes them say things to me that they really shouldn’t. I’m only listening because I don’t want to be rude, not because I care. Don’t tell me your family secrets, please."
– A_Guy_From_The_ME
Inner Dialogue
"My intrusive thoughts. Holy sh*t sometimes i surprise myself on how gnarly i think in just a second."
– MaybeNot_MaybeYes
All The Vulernabilities
"How incredibly terrified I am nearly all of the time. I'm not confident, I don't think I'm in control any more, I don't think I can do this. And still, here I go"
– Bron_3
Let's play trivia with the people you think you know well.
Lawbreaker
"I’m a convicted felon. Nothing violent, a white collar crime."
– PhotographIcy600
Easily Detached
"I have a very hard time liking/growing fond of people, even after knowing them for years. I could just drop all contact with them and not miss them at all. Was like this even as a child, all the way to now…"
– Infinite_Ebb_2856
More Than Meets The Eye
"I’m a janitor. But I’m worth over a million dollars because I own real estate."
– Flashy-Weather3529
Everyone is entitled to keeping secrets.
But has anything good ever come as a result of revealing something you've kept close to yourself?
I have. Coming out while I was in college made me feel like a heavy burden was lifted once I received an outpouring of love and support from friends and family.
What changed was not only their perception of who I truly was, but also how I viewed them.
I regretted having underestimated them–thinking they wouldn't embrace me for who I am as a person–when the exact opposite wound up happening.
I do acknowledge that everyone does not have the same experience.
I've been very lucky and I count my blessings for all the love surrounding me in my life.
Due to the nature of the discussion, this article contains movie spoilers.
There's nothing quite like sitting down to watch an incredibly good movie with equally great company and food.
But the movie can become a particularly special experience if it's surprising in some way, like having a unique plot twist.
Redditor Gooderzk asked:
"Which movie has the best plot twist?"
The Prestige
"'The Prestige.' It seems so obvious when I rewatch it, but when I first saw it I was blown away. The ending was a big shock to me, as well."
- kee80
"I love how the movie tells you exactly what will happen in the opening scene, and you spend the whole movie letting yourself get fooled exactly like it said, but then the prestige happens."
- OldManHipsAt30
Inside Man
"'Inside Man' is a good movie like 'The Prestige.' It tells you what is going to happen at the start and there’s so much sh*t going on for the rest of the movie you absolutely forget they ever did that until you get to the end."
- ImmoralModerator
Frailty
"I would never call it my favorite, but I always thought its twist elevated a would-be schlock story into something memorable."
- ArthurBonesly
Primal Fear
"When I read the question, 'Primal Fear' is the first thing that popped into my head. Great movie with a great twist at the end."
- archie905
Saw
"Yeah, it's gross, but 'Saw' had a great plot twist."
- MlecznyHuxel99
"Not only is it a great twist, it’s not at the end, either. There’s one movie, the twist, and then allll the fallout afterward. It doesn’t just twist and fade to black."
- Randvek
"That plot twist redeemed it for me. I just wasn't enjoying it, and then bam, 'What the h**l did I just watch!?!'"
- jackfaire
Arrival
"'Arrival' has an incredible twist and is probably my favorite movie of the last 20 years."
"The twist holds up incredibly well on repeat viewings. That's the sign of a good twist in my opinion. The bad ones (including some mentioned here IMO) tend to invalidate a lot of the movie. Great twists add layers of depth to previous events."
- doktarr
Cabin in the Woods
"Well, the entire movie is one big twist; 'Cabin in the Woods.'"
"Not spoiling it. It must be watched blind, but, totally worth the watch."
- valeran46
Oldboy
"Hard to find the Korean version, but in my opinion, 'Oldboy' is a must-watch if you can find it. It’s English subtitled but nothing could prepare me, lol (laughing out loud). Don’t watch the remake, only the original version."
- Striball
The Sixth Sense
"'The Sixth Sense' was such a big deal that the director is still able to make big budget flops over and over again anytime he wants to."
- PMYourTiny
Gone Girl
"Am I the only person that wanted to jump into the screen and strangle that woman???"
- themissrebecca103
"Just from watching that movie I've had this hatred for the actor that played the chick, she did such an insane job of depicting her character that now I just cringe at her face in other movies."
- Crazy-visit-5078
Se7en
"'Se7en.' I was not expecting that ending and will never watch that movie again."
- FreshStarLiving
Parasite
"I went from, 'Hey, this is a really fun and entertaining movie, but why is it up for an Oscar,' to 'Holy f**king mother of God' in about five seconds flat, lol (laughing out loud)."
- MissPinkieB
Shutter Island
"'Shutter Island' is an obvious pick."
"Probably the greatest plot twist I've ever seen, at least on par with 'The Sixth Sense,' in my opinion."
"And it gets even crazier when you realize that Andrew Laeddis was faking his delirium at the end because he wanted to be lobotomized. He had fully 'come back' to his normal cognitive capacities but simply couldn't live with the guilt over what he had done."
- washington_breadstix
Crazy, Stupid Love
"I was taken by surprise during the twist in that movie."
- 0rangePolarBear
Book of Eli
"I wasn't expecting the twist. But if you rewatch the movie, you actually see it's shown since the beginning. D**n, Denzel Washington can act."
- Khaos_Gorvin
For those who love a movie with a solid twist, this list is a great place to start. In the meantime, for those of us who have seen these films, it might be time for a rewatch.