People Explain Why They Had To Cut A Family Member Out Of Their Life
Image by Laura M from Pixabay

You can pick your a lot of people to keep in your life.

Family, however, is not something you get to pick.

Problematic family members can ruin your life in more intimate ways. As opposed to toxic relationships or friendships, familial bonds are harder to sever. You feel this responsibility to keep them in your life even if they are actively harming your mental and emotional health. Never feel bad for making the choice to slowly faze the person out, letting them know you can no longer abide their harmful actions.
Just look at these people and their stories.

Reddit user, u/vanillabear26, wanted to know what severed the blood bonds when they asked:

[Serious] Redditors who have cut family members off from their lives, what was the final straw for you?

They say you can't choose who you're born to and it's all just a roll of the dice. Well, sometimes that dice comes up '1' no matter how many times you choose to re-roll. Having a good parent is a blessing, as evidenced by these tales.

Making It All About Her

"I had been in the hospital for over a month, nearly dying from a rare disorder. My dad had came and spent time with me almost every day, where as my mom? Not even a phone call. When I finally got out and was at home I called her to update on her on what had been going on with me, and she dominated the conversation. She some how made the entire situation about her - and how worried she was, what she would have done if that happened to her, etc."

"My 2 year old ran up to me and was hugging my leg, and as I looked down into the eye of my baby I realized I couldn't even imagine if my baby had just gone through what I did, not visiting, not calling, and making every conversation about me.. That was pretty much the last time I ever talked to my mom. My sister had already cut mom from her life, and that moment was when it dawned on me mom really doesn't care about us, she doesn't actually love us. A loving mother would never have treated their children the way that woman treated us."


Sharing With The World

"When my father took a phone call from me, and I asked him to please be alone for it. I poured out my heart and soul for nine minutes, tears, sobs, tragedy, everything. I hung up and he texted me a few minutes later saying he had put me on speakerphone and the whole family had heard everything. I responded that it was the last thing they would EVER hear of me."


Getting Her Wish

"When I was nine my mom told me that she had wanted an abortion with me but they weren't readily available in 1959 so I was "lucky". Over the years it was on/off with her. I'd swear her out of my life and then let her back in. I was blamed for everything that was wrong in her life and everyone else's. When I was in my mid-50's she screamed at me on the phone and repeated more than once that she hated me. I told her she wanted an abortion in 1959 and congratulations, you just received your abortion. I now will allow a text here and there but we don't speak and I am totally fine with the situation."


An Hour A Weekend

"My dad. He was in and out during my childhood then my parents divorced. I was forced visitations through court. He'd drop me at his current girlfriends house then take off. I'd see him maybe an hour the whole weekend. He went two years without seeing me because he's a dick. Then as a teen I stopped going and would see him out and about. We reconnected in my 20s for a few good years."

"Then he asked for $300. Told my husband we wouldn't get it back but this will prove to me my dad hasn't changed. Sure enough, we saw no money for months. Then I told him he needs to give us at least $5 to show he's going to give us money or I don't want him at my wedding. Haven't spoken a word to him since. It's been 6 years."


Money is the root of all evil.

That's it. That's the Tweet.

Trying To Keep The Cows Fed

"Loaning them $40,000 (which I had to borrow) to prevent foreclosure of the family farm....after they begged me for months........ only to have them pretend it was a gift and making me hire an attorney to get the money back. To make it worse they even accused me of forging documents etc, to show it was a loan, trying to ruin my name in the process. Fortunately, they had paid for 4 years and that was what saved me."


Had A Pretty Crazy Weekend

"My nephew (who was raised more or less as my little brother) stole my deceased father's coin collection from my mother, put it in a coinstar machine, and used the money he got to score heroin."

"Haven't spoken to him since. I can't."


Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Demanding More Than He's Worth

"I cut my uncle out of my life the day my gran died."

"She had terminal lung cancer and the last 3 months of her life, she lived out in complete agony. My mother and I moved in with her to care for her full time. I was only 18, working, and still in full time education. it took so much out of me."

"My uncle didn't offer us a hand once. And when we asked him for help he was essentially like "ew, no. she smells like piss"

"In the days leading up to her death when she was pretty much a vegetable, he finally came round to discuss how her money was going to be handled. Demanding he was entitled to more than us because he was the eldest. Despite the fact that he was incredibly well-off, didn't do anything to help my gran while she was dying, and the fact my mother and I were essentially living in poverty at the time. All he cared about was her money. It's been 2 years since she died and all of that stuff is still being sorted out, but I refuse to talk to him now. I hate him. He's such a heartless pig that couldn't even be upset about his mother dying because he was so excited at the prospect of receiving money."


People Get Awful Around The Reading Of The Will, Huh?

"When my dad died, my uncle who had been a human sponge his entire life was furious he wasn't in the will. Daily phone calls begging for money, insisting I forged the trust documents. Phone blocked, contact cut off."


Then there's these people, who should probably be left off the invite list for next year's Thanksgiving potluck. Nobody's perfect, but these people could seriously do with a long lesson in the meaning of "Ohana."

Perhaps The Wrong Time To Make It About YOU

"Seeing my dad fight for his life on a ventilator and the only time my half sister talked to him was to say that he needed to "wake up and apologize to her". (Apologize to her for being upset that she and her family completely trashed his home that he let her stay in…rent free…for as long as she needed until she got her feet back on the ground.)"

"All while absolutely going off on my mother, who could barely take care of herself enough to get out of bed. She found any reason during my mom's darkest hours to treat her horribly. Many other issues leading up to this, but this instance was the final straw. Blood is not thicker than being the worst person alive."


Reaching That Breaking Point

"She's an addict."

"No amount of love and support from us is going to change that. She has to change by herself and right now, she doesn't seem to be able to do that. She's lied to us, stolen from us, lied to us some more and now there is no trust left. She's the only person that I have banned from my home."

"The final straw was her coming to the house with a friend, both of them obviously under the influence and she kept going to the bathroom looking for medication that we were hiding from the last time she stole pain medication."



"Overheard her planning to sabotage my vehicle and set me up to get fired from a job so I would be forced to stay under her roof longer and pay her bills and do all the chores."

"F*ck you Mom"


"So she was going to get you fired but she also wanted you to pay her bills? Like, how did she reconcile that?"


"I had 3 jobs at the time. The big one she was trying to sabotage was my main source of savings for my own place. She was smart about it."


Maybe Pick A Better Time And Place, Dad...

"The night before we thought my son was going to die (removal of ventilator and expected him to pass shortly after), my dad told me how awful of a mother I was. Never talked to him again. It's been 8 years."


Family can, and sometimes is, always there for you when no one else is. If you're lucky enough to be born into a majority supportive, functioning family, then never feel bad for cutting off the one bad tumor of an uncle.

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