People Share The Real Reason They Cut A Friend Out Of Their Life For Good
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning StagesWeekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy
"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
Money IssuesDonald Duck Money GIFGiphy
"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of SupportHappy Planning GIFGiphy
"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
Life Changespoint pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy
"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.
- Jilted People Reveal Why They Broke Up With Their Best Friend ›
- People Share The Dumbest Reason A Friend Has Ever Cut Ties With Them ›
Reddit user TLMoore93 asked: 'If your spouse passed away, would you maintain a relationship with your in-laws? Why/why not?'
Family relationships are already complex, but the involvement of in-laws and an adult relationship take the dynamics of family to a whole other level.
But if someone's spouse were to tragically pass away, they'd have to decide what the future of their family would look like, and whether or not they'd want their in-laws, who'd technically then be disconnected, to stay in the picture.
Redditor TLMoore93 asked:
"If your spouse passed away, would you maintain a relationship with your in-laws? Why or why not?"
Putting Grandchildren First
"Yes, so they could continue to have a relationship with their grandchild."
"Absolutely this. In addition, I trust my in-laws alone with my child more than I trust my father, to the extent I have listed custody arrangements in my will. In-laws definitely go before my dad in the custody line."
"I have every expectation that in the event of the worst, they would absolutely still be there for me and my child."
Avoiding Family Drama
"Two of my in-laws don't get along (his sibling and one of his parents). My husband has already told them basically, 'Don't be a**holes if I'm dying.'"
"He does have a disease that can but isn't guaranteed to end his life earlier than average ... anything can happen. We are in our 30s, he was told he wouldn't live past his teens. He's good right now, all things considered."
"That being said, I can fully see my Mother-in-Law either being an angel or a thorn in my side if he passes before she does. Hope it's the former."
"Either way, I know what he wants, and that's no drama or disrespect... but if someone's being an a**hole, he doesn't want to be involved. So I'd be following that."
The Best Relationships
"Yes, they're nicer than my parents."
"My mother-in-law is nicer than my mom, anyway. No way I wouldn't be there for her, she's worked so hard to provide for my Fiancé, no way I could not keep her in my life."
The Support System
"I know I've become a better person as an adult so I'm probably easier to get along with now, but the immediate acceptance and love I received from my fiance's family just endeared them to me a million times more than anything I've felt for my own family."
"He has also encouraged me to be closer to my own, which is great."
Under Their Wing
"The second I started dating their son, my in-laws took me in and treated me like one of their own. I didn't know what a kind, loving family or parents were really like before, experiencing it was a huge revelation."
"I would absolutely maintain a relationship with them, and I know they would want the same."
"My partner’s parents did the same with me. To feel unconditional parental love for the first time was surreal."
"My partner passed away five years ago and I am still close with his mom especially, she brings me so much comfort and I am so happy we have continued our relationship. We desperately needed each other in the early days of our grief and now I don’t think either of us could imagine it any other way."
A Close Bond
"We aren't married (yet) but I refer to my boyfriend's parents as my in-laws. And in turn, they introduce me to others as their daughter-in-law. My boyfriend's mom is my best friend. I absolutely love her to bits. We hit a rough patch a couple of years ago and she took me for coffee to talk about it and assured me that even if the worst happened, she would always be there for me and in my life whether he liked it or not, because she loves me."
"I didn't know what a real family was supposed to be like until I met them either. For my 18th birthday, the first birthday I spent with him, my boyfriend asked me what I wanted to do, and I had never really celebrated my birthday since I was a child because we either couldn't afford it or my mom and I were fighting over one thing or another."
"He knew this because I told him. So, on my birthday my boyfriend picked me up, took me to McDonald's to get a McFlurry, then took me to Dominos to pick up the pizza he ordered for us."
"When we got to his house, his mom had most of the lights off and she was standing in the kitchen with a cake, candles lit, and a gift bag on the counter. They started singing happy birthday when I walked in. To say I cried is an understatement. They have done this every single year since then."
"Christmas is regularly celebrated in my family because we save up for it. But man, that first Christmas I spent with my boyfriend, I cried again because when I got to his mom's house there was a stocking with my name on it and it was full. His whole family got me gifts."
"I wasn't prepared that year, but the next year I went ALL out on gifts for him and his family. His mom includes me in absolutely everything. And when I can't make it to something, I know d**n well she'll be phoning me on her drive home to tell me all about it and give me all the gossip.
Together Through Grief
"My wife died, in my arms, on May 13th of cancer complications. Her dad called me last night to check in on me and her mom called the day before for the same reason. I call them Mom and Dad, and they will be that for the rest of my life."
"I'm so very sorry for your loss. We found out on May 25th that my wife has brain cancer. No cure... just have to treat it and deal with it as long as possible. I have been an absolute mess inside, but trying to hold it together for my two boys. She is the eternal optimist of the family and is ready for whatever comes next. We find out the biopsy results tomorrow."
"Her family is my family, and I know that we will have each other."
"I hope that you are ok and that you can find some peace. This is the worst. If there's anything I can take from this, it is that I will never waste a day... or the opportunity to help someone that needs it. My circle has been amazing, but I know not everyone has that."
Chosen Family is Forever
"My oldest sister passed away in 1989 before I was born in 1994. My whole life I've had this guy named Vince in my family. He's the nicest, sweetest, and funniest dude and has always been like a really fun uncle to me."
"He basically lived with my parents for years after my sister died. My Dad took him in as his pseudo son and even after he started dating this wonderful woman years later he would still come on family vacations with us."
"He asked my dad permission to marry his new girlfriend back in the 90s as a sign of respect. Of course, he said yes."
"Unfortunately two years ago or so she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and today her condition is getting worse and worse to the point he can't leave the house anymore."
"He has experienced unimaginable pain for a man to now go through what is essentially two deaths of wives in his life. Again, he's the nicest guy ever, and the positivity he's always carried about himself."
"But yes, if you have a good relationship with in-laws, keep it. Chosen family is forever."
On the Flip Side
"Absolutely not. I would never talk to them again. They are horrific people."
"Although mine aren't horrific, they are definitely not my favorite people in the world. I have little to no interaction with them now so having no interaction at all sounds wonderful."
"I would totally cut them out of my life. They are horrible people who think only of themselves."
"They've ruined every holiday, birthday, and special occasion where I've included them."
"This is my second marriage and I'm closer to my first in-laws than these posers. I only tolerate them occasionally for my husband but basically, I avoid them now."
"I would. I like my wife's parents and extended family, and they'd certainly want to know how our son is doing."
"On top of that, my wife's side of the family is African-American, and I feel like my son should have some sort of connection to that heritage."
"Not passed away, but I got divorced almost 20 years ago and still see my former MIL and SIL when they're in town. And I stay with them when I'm in their town. Love them!"
The Conflicted Answers
"I don't know. I really like my in-laws and consider them family, but aside from the fact that I married their daughter, we have no common ground. I think hanging out with them would ultimately just be painful."
"That's what I am thinking. I would totally keep in contact with them, especially because my nephews from her side would be even more confused if I wouldn't visit anymore, and I love them, but I cannot picture how you can continue life if you stay too close to them."
"Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do when my wife passed all of a sudden. Besides losing my grandparents when I was 18, I have never faced a tragic loss and have no idea how I would react."
"Today is actually my 5-year angeliversary."
"I do keep in contact with her family, and they have been my family for 19 years before she passed away."
"They are still my brothers and sisters. They are still my children's aunts and uncles, and grandmother."
"I still love them like I always have."
The Grandparent Connection
"I'm not widowed but divorced. I made sure my son, who decided on no contact with his dad, kept in touch with his paternal grandmother. We went to visit her at Christmas and her birthday, which is more than my ex did."
"No reason why she should miss out on a grandson entirely, just because we were not together anymore."
While it's difficult to imagine what life would be like without our favorite loved one in our lives, it might be even more complicated to think of how the surrounding relationships would change.
There were some who saw those relationships dissolving immediately, but others felt they'd lean into these relationships more, accepting the support any of us would desperately need during such a time.
We're living in an age where single people more time scrolling through dating apps and chatting with strangers than engaging with them in person.
And while they think they know enough about a prospective date based on their chat history, finally meeting up with them on a first date can still come with a variety of surprises.
One of two things can happen.
Either love seekers strike immediate chemistry or they find that the person with whom they shared a love connection online turns out to be a major misconnection.
Curious to explore what doesn't work on a first date for strangers online, Redditor hometattoo asked:
"What is your first date dealbreaker?"
Some people don't understand the art of conversation.
"Bad conversation when you feel like getting more than a 2 word answer out of them is like pulling teeth."
"When they try to dominate the conversation and make everything about themselves while cutting you off."
Worst Top 5
"I went out with a girl who asked me if I had done something like, for example, surfed in Hawaii. I said 'no,' then she went on to tell me about what she did for about 20 minutes. Then another question, followed by another 20-minute story. Went on like this for a while till I lied and said 'yeah.' I started to make up a story when she cut me off and started another story. Top 5 of my worst first dates."
When phones are more interesting than you, it's time to move on.
"Playing on their phone."
*clash royale intro plays*
Taking The Call
"Many years ago before the advent of smartphones I had a date with this lady who 5 minutes into dinner got a phone call and then proceeded to spend the next 1.5 hours talking on her phone and ignoring me. So I ate my food tossed 20 on the table and left."
"Playing with phone, cutting me off mid-sentence, saying one word responses like 'ok', 'cool', 'nice.'"
These Redditors prefer dating someone who doesn't have kids.
"she brings her 3 kids that she failed to tell me about."
"Or bringing 23 relatives to test their generosity."
No Single Moms Please
"Yep, it happened more than once. I am a childfree man, and they knew before the date. For the first date, I always prefer a short coffee meet."
"If it is one on one, I cover the bill. When they brought the kids, I always told the waitor to split the bill."
"They always got pissy, were offended, and of course, when I told them that I am not interested, since they knew that I did not date single mothers, they showed their true colours. Vile, toxic, and very vengeful, too."
"It explained why they were single mothers and why those kids were f'ked."
"I tried dating single mothers. 5 times to be exact. It never ended well, and it was never because of the kids."
"3 times they returned to the ex, and twice I was a placeholder holder for the guy they wanted to date, and they waited until he was available."
"I am done getting attached to the kids just to get f'ked over."
"Massive deal breaker now are the kids."
"They also always wanted to get back together with me. After, surprise, surprise, did not work out with the guys they chose. The typical, without fail, manipulation tactic was using their kids, how they miss me, ask about me, and the walk down the memory lane, about nice times we had."
"I always told them they should have thought about it when they decided to break up with me and to never contact me again. I was called a heartless -shole who would die alone because I didn't allow them to manipulate me, and their bullsh*t left me cold."
Not Part Of The Deal
"Kids are my deal breaker too. I am not about to be a stepmother and I am not interested in dating someone who has kids ... I just don't want it. People should disclose before a first date that they have children.. I just think it's common sense imo. Not everyone wants to be a step-parent."
My first date dealbreaker was embarrassingly shallow, but here goes.
Years ago before the advent of Grindr, I met up with a guy I've been chatting with on match.com.
He was a tennis player. Really good-looking, tall dude. We met up for coffee and had a great conversation. Because we were hitting it off, we decided to continue our first date by taking a walk through Washington Square Park since it was a beautiful day and we were right there.
On the way there, I noticed he kept leaning into me as we were walking. I asked him sarcastically if he was trying to nudge me in the direction of his apartment.
That wasn't it. He nervously laughed and told me his left leg was slightly shorter than the other leg, which caused him to walk diagonally sometimes as his weight wasn't equally distributed in his gait.
There was no second date. I know. I loathe myself for having been that vapid at the time.
Even though the United States of America is largely viewed as the best country in the world to live in, many Americans dream of living abroad.
Particularly in Europe.
From their eyes, there are several things about one's way of life that simply seem unquestionably better in Europe, including health insurance, education, and food.
Of course, many of these things are just in their minds and aren't actually true, and they have to have the news broken to them rather gently.
Sometimes, however, the things they've grown to accept about Europe aren't worse than they imagined, but infinitely better.
"Europeans, what is something us Americans aren’t ready to hear?"
In Case You Didn't Know Just How Big "Big Pharma" Actually Was...
"EpiPens cost $69 in the UK compared to the US $600."
"And yes the Pharm companies are making a profit."- DevDudeZX81
Phonetics Ain't Gonna Help You With This One...
"Wash your sister sauce."- dbl1nk22
'I was making dinner at one point and asked my wife to get me the sibling cleaning sauce - once it clicked, she was hysterical laughing."- belsonc
And No, That Doesn't Stand For "Part Time Only"...
"27 days of PTO is absolutely normal."- Whole-Bank9820Out Of Office Vacation GIF by StickerGiantGiphy
Anyone From The UK Can Make That Clear...
"Europe and the European Union are not the same thing."- BradyvonAshe
Yes, They're Actually Efficient...
"Y’all need some trains."- CabbageMasher
Ironically, Church And State Are ACTUALLY Separated...
"Whats the deal with mega churches?"
"Why do you send them that much money?"- JandolinoOn My Way Church GIF by EMPIREGiphy
Bipartisanship? The Very Thought!
"Middle grounds exist."
"It doesn’t always have to be pro this anti that."- MySocksAreLost
"It's okay not to have an opinion about everything."- AlwaysCurious93
All Jobs Have Value
"Tipping is stupid."
"Just pay your staff a proper living wage!"- Coin-op77
"Tipping culture is placing the working class against the working class."
"And you lot are falling for it instead of striking."- Comander1SUV
"You should work to live not the opposite."- Realistic_Abrocoma61·Giphy
At The Very Least, Not In Such Large Quantities
"Sugar does not belong in everything, esp."
"Not bread."- WrestlingWoman
Merely 2 out of 44
"Europe is more than England and Paris."- SloRules
Health And Education Are A Right, Not A Privilege
"It's neither normal nor okay to have to go bankrupt just to go to school or going to the hospital."- Roselily808student loans burn GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphy
...Um, Does Anyone Actually Need This?...
"You do not need a 5000-pound truck to haul your laptop and cellphone to the office."- It_is_Fries_No_Patat
Frustratingly, many Americans who will be told these facts by Europeans will look for anything and everything to argue about them.
As the most significant thing most Europeans aren't ready to hear, or at least don't want to hear, about Americans?
Most will look for literally anything to fight about, rather than actually taking a little time to enjoy the view...
Ahh... life before the 90's.
The talents and skills lost.
There were ticket takers at the cinema.
When buying concert tickets, there was a human you stood in line to meet at 10AM on a Saturday morning.
You had to purchase tokens, not Metrocards in NYC to ride transit.
So much change.
Who can keep up?
Who will remember?
Redditor wanted to hear about life in the recent past, so they asked:
"People born before 1990, what trivial skill do you possess that no one uses anymore?"
I had no skills in the '80s.
I was too young.
So tell me about history.
"I can cover a textbook with a brown paper bag."
R We There Yet?
"I can re-fold a map correctly."
"I came here to say Reading a Map but yes, also how to refold it! I routinely amazed coworkers by remembering how to get to lunch spots without GPS after just one visit."
"Yes. Yes. YES!! And how hard could it be?... if anyone bothered to notice or think or remember how it opened in the first place."
"Remembering phone numbers."
"I remember the numbers for every house I lived in growing up, the phone numbers of the houses of my best friends from 7th grade and before, my grandma, and my first cell phone number. I've been married nearly five years and have no idea what my wife's phone number is."
"Being on time because you can't call and reschedule."
"I feel like you just always had an idea that plans could fall through, and were a little more excited when they didn't fall through."
"This is why there used to be more bars in restaurants, so you can wait for the rest of your party and have a drink or two, and I guess if they don't show your order there and enjoy a meal anyway or go to plan B. People also used to just meet at someone's and go from there, more so than they seem to now."
ClassicsVintage Read GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy
"Using the Dewey decimal at the library."
"Still a relevant skill. If you search for a book, you're given a call number and you need to track it down."
I have never fully understood any of it.
That's me though.
DevelopmentsLooking Good Red Room GIF by BounceGiphy
"I can develop and process photographic film and enlarge prints in a dark room."
"I took a class in high school that did this. Was fun!"
"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh*t or an ad."
"I was a 'videotaping from TV' master! My anticipation of the end of commercial breaks was amazing, especially since you had to start the recording just a moment prior to having a cue that the show was coming back.
Of course, I was always screwed by those random late-night News commercials and the random extra-long pauses"
"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them."
"Before cordless phones got really cheap, I walked around the house with a super long phone cord. My parents got sick of tripping over it, so they saved up and got me a cordless phone for Christmas."
"That phone lasted for so many years. They got it when I was a freshman in high school and it was still going strong when I graduated from college. I don’t know when or if it stopped working, but my parents switched to a phone with more features."
"I outright destroyed Super Mario Brothers in almost no time flat very recently on Nintendo Switch after not having played it for probably 30 years. I did it totally from memory on just the second run-through. I even hit the multiple 1-up glitch on World 3-1. My kids thought I was a god (for just a few minutes)."
"I grew up playing on the Super Nintendo. My son is old enough to play. The look on his face when I bomb through a level is priceless. Mama’s still got it, kid. He’s smart though. Kicks my a** in Mortal Kombat."
SCORE!!Sport Lol GIF by TikTok FranceGiphy
"I can keep score in bowling."
"took bowling as phy Ed in college. In the final exam we were given 10 lines of scoring and we had to score each line and add it up. 8 out of 10 was an A."
Bowling is an art.
And keeping score is a gift... that I have never unwrapped.