Cruise Ship Employees Reveal Stories About The Biggest Problems Passengers Never Discovered
Cruise Ship Employees Reveal Stories About The Biggest Problems Passengers Never Discovered
[rebelmouse-image 18345439 is_animated_gif=Cruises can be some of the best vacations a person can take - and also some of the worst. A pleasure cruise can pretty quickly go all Titanic. Ships have to be fully self-contained, so all it takes is one sick passenger, one little kid with lice to infest a whole ship, one broken pipe - and it could all go sideways. Things go wrong on cruises all the time, but most passengers never know about it. One reddit user asked:
Cruise Ship workers of reddit, what was the biggest "oh sh!t" moment on the boat, that luckily, passengers didn't find out about at all?
Antarctic Toilet Paper
[rebelmouse-image 18347745 is_animated_gif=Water pipe burst in a store room and soaked ALL of the spare toilet paper. This was on day 2 of a 14 day voyage to Antarctica. The cabin stewards had to swap around rolls of paper between "low use" and "high use" guest cabins and it came right down the wire. None of the guests found out or realized. Now toilet paper is hidden in every cabin instead of a centralized location.
The Special Freezer
[rebelmouse-image 18347746 is_animated_gif=Currently working on a cruise ship - people die on cruise ships, and the bodies are kept in a special freezer. Most guests will never know. I mean, you gotta do something with the body if you're at sea. Spent a lot of time in the casino on my last cruise.
Same few faces there each night. Day 3 or 4 one of the guys doesn't show. I comment on it to a dealer and she says something about
"Yeah - my guess is he ended up in the freezer... you see a bunch of people who come here for their end... maybe his money ran out."
Not Landing The Helicopter
[rebelmouse-image 18347747 is_animated_gif=The last cruise I was on, somebody needed surgery and so the coast guard came to collect the passenger. Rather than land on the deck (it did have a helipad), they just hovered and EMTs were lowered to the deck, they strapped the kid into some kind of gurney, then raised him into the helicopter.
At the reception, I asked the captain why the helicopter didn't land and he just said they didn't need to land. I imagine it's similar to picking someone up in the city. Sure, you could find a place to park and walk to where they are and escort them back to your car, or.... you could just double park out front and tell them to hurry the hell up.
Dryer Lint
[rebelmouse-image 18347749 is_animated_gif=Drier lint fires are the number one cause of shipboard fires nowadays.
Always empty the lint catcher, folks.
Bankrupt Cruise Line, Stranded Workers
[rebelmouse-image 18347751 is_animated_gif=I worked on a cruise ship, and unbeknownst to the passengers and most of the crew, the ship was on its last cruise. The company was going bankrupt and when the ship landed, that was it. Everybody was out of a job, and a lot of the immigrant workers were stranded in a foreign port.
Ran Right Off The Ship
[rebelmouse-image 18347752 is_animated_gif=I worked on a cruise ship for three years! I've got a lot of these kinds of stories, but here's my favorite one:
Our ship officers got a call from a ship of a completely different cruise line, off the coast of Cozumel, Mexico. They found one of our passengers floating in the ocean. He wasn't even near the shore at all, just floating in open water. He was alive & perfectly fine.
We reviewed the security footage, & in the middle of the night this guy was drunk on Deck 5. He could be seen holding his phone, dancing to music by himself. He then climbed onto one of the lifeboats, put his phone down & did a RUNNING JUMP into the ocean. His body was so fluid from being drunk that he wasn't injured when he hit the water. It wasn't a suicide attempt, he was having a blast. We think he just got too into it?
The other cruise ship spotted him & rescued him. His family didn't know he was missing because he had booked a separate room.
This guy told the news that a "rogue wave" pushed him off the side of the ship. He was on Deck 5, so the wave would have been over 40 feet tall. No wave was seen on the video, nor did any other ships report a wave anywhere near that large.
Don't know what happened after that. The entire crew was talking about it for weeks before it hit the news, though.
Extra Lifeboat Drills
[rebelmouse-image 18347753 is_animated_gif=I was on the Costa Serena in January 2012. Just cruising around the Mediterranean. Woke up one morning and ALL of the crew and wait staff at breakfast we're stone cold and depressed looking. They made us do an extra life boat drill that morning, to all of our confusion. Found out later that day that our sister ship, the Concordia, sank overnight but didn't have many other details.
My now wife wasn't on the trip and didn't know the exact name of the ship I was on..and found out before us. She was terrified till the next morning when I could get on to the ship's internet connected computer.
We also found out the crew was especially depressed because a lot of them had family on the other ship and very little information. The captain of the other ship (who was probably drunk) had a civilian girlfriend in the bridge when he shouldn't. He ordered the ship to steer closer to the rocks to get a better view. He ignored all alarms and navigated by eye because he claimed to know better than their navigation equipment. When they struck, he lied to the coastal authorities and said they just had a minor power outage. This heavily delayed rescue /assistance. Then he tried to sneak on board a lifeboat ahead of passengers. People died as a result of all this.
The Italian Coast Guard had to order him to get back on the ship and help. He's in prison for the deaths he caused.
Took a few days, but things got back to fairly normal. I just remembered doing life boat drills and thinking they were a waste of time... Then we found out and learned that lesson
He Died. She Finished Her Vacation.
[rebelmouse-image 18347754 is_animated_gif=Ship just arrived in Whittier, Alaska (the port for Anchorage) and an elderly passenger dropped dead while walking down the gangway. A conflict ensues between the port security and the ship's medical team. The port security didn't want the ship's medical team to get involved because it technically happened off the ship and the local authorities had jurisdiction. There really was no saving the guy but the ship's medical team at least wanted to try but the local authorites wouldn't even allow the chief medical officer to start CPR.
The coroner had a ~6 hour ETA so the port authorities bagged up the body and stuffed it in an x-ray machine storage container in port (guarded by local police) until the coroner could arrive to take the body to Anchorage.
The wife of the deceased continued on to finish the vacation for the 7-day rail trip to Denali (it was a 14-day gimmick... 7 days at sea, 7 day scenic rail trip). My understanding was the cruise line comped her entire vacation, arranged for the remains to be returned home at no cost to her, and provided a personal escort/assistant for the remainder of her vacation.
Purple Rain
[rebelmouse-image 18347755 is_animated_gif=I was playing a production show (guitar) was standing on stage with a wireless unit alone to play Purple Rain, and then all of the sudden the house lights came on and the curtains closed. Everyone in the audience looked at me, and I ran off the stage. Turns out a sewage pipe burst backstage and there was literal, actual sh!t everywhere.
Show was cancelled and the passengers didn't find out why.
Hurled Himself Overboard
[rebelmouse-image 18347756 is_animated_gif=A QM2 transatlantic crossing one of the kitchen staff got drunk one night and hurled himself overboard in the North Atlantic. The ship basically found out the next morning when the first mate kept calling on the ship wide intercom for him to go to his post. That afternoon, the captain announced what happened and that the ship was turning around to, with the help of 3 nearby merchant ships, try to search for the him. Of course it was foggy as hell and you couldn't see 100 yds but just about everyone was on the railings with binoculars trying to search for the poor guy.
A wedding on board even stopped, the whole party out looking once the announcement came that we were in the search area.
Nothing was found. The concierge desk set up a multinational-currency donation box to send to his family back in Chile. There were 4 days left in the trip at that point and every day that box was stuffed to capacity.. I hope it helped them.
Windows 7
[rebelmouse-image 18347757 is_animated_gif=All of the computer systems run on Windows 7, including all of the automation in the machinery space, security system, fire detection system etc.. When Windows updates it will restart the computers, as it does with a normal desktop, unfortunately it can also take out every computer at the same time and we're flying blind until it finishes.
People may be more worried to hear that there is a hole in the hull yet they're actually fairly common occurances in older ships and easily plugged.
Fires happen occasionally. The most terrifying was a crankcase explosion. The fire suppression systems are good at extinguishing them quickly enough though so they're not even a concern to the crew ... unless Windows is updating at the time.
Bye Sweden
[rebelmouse-image 18347758 is_animated_gif=I was a cruise ship worker for a few years and on a route between two cities there was a really bad storm. So a few minutes after the passengers got off, the storm got so rough that the ship was ripped off the docks and drifted out to sea. Bye Sweden.
Because it takes quite a while to start up the engines it took some time until we got back to the harbor. Not really dangerous, but if it had happened while the passengers were deboarding it could have gone badly.
Bullet Fired From Shore
[rebelmouse-image 18347759 is_animated_gif=Somebody shot at the navigation bridge of the ship from the shore on my last ship, the bullet bounced off and hit my colleague on the hand (no real damage but it scares the hell out of her, ended up going home for a few weeks). While we waited for the local police to come on and investigate and take statements, guests were told we were delaying the departure to take on fresh water.
I'm still shocked that never leaked out.
Cocaine And Group Sex
[rebelmouse-image 18347581 is_animated_gif=Was a casino dealer with a major (you know their name kind of major) cruise line for five years. The biggest thing the passengers never know about is that the crew gets LIT.
Cocaine use is rampant due to cheap costs and quickly metabolizing (out of your system in a day or 2). Cocaine in Panama and Bahamas etc. is waaaayyyyyyy stronger than any here.
Group sex: It's not like orgies everywhere but I've seen some pretty buttoned down, conservative types lose there morals quickly. Vacation mode and booze and drugs etc...plus not having to worry about reputations and all makes for some good times.
Catching Human Waste In Garbage Cans
[rebelmouse-image 18347760 is_animated_gif=I used to work on the Tahoe Queen as an engineer. We would cruise around Lake Tahoe for 2.5 hours and do lunch or dinner cruises. Between cruises, it was my responsibility to pump the feces out and pump on water if we need it. A lot of times we don't need more water, or we don't have enough poo to warrant pumping.
This was one of the times where we needed water, but not to pump poop.
Problem is, the water systems on large boats/ships can be a funny thing. Long story short, I left a valve open where I shouldn't have, and started taking on water into the water tanks, which, while in transit, apparently overflow into the sewage tanks. The sewage tanks quickly began to fill up, and I spent the last 1.5 hours of the cruise catching human waste in trash cans.
I don't know that anyone would have necessarily panicked.... but I don't think people would like to know what was going on right below where they were eating.
Check For Whales
[rebelmouse-image 18347761 is_animated_gif=If you're pushing 140 revs on the shaft and the ship still won't break 15 knots, check the bulbous bow for whales. The weight of a dead whale will slow a ship down. Cruise ships hit whales quite often and the passengers never know.
The What-Ifs
[rebelmouse-image 18347763 is_animated_gif=I was on bridge watch during a cruise around Alaska. It was right at the end of the hour so I had just been relived. Luckily, because I still had my night vision, I was still hanging out on the bridge just chatting with my relief and this new chief mate.
That's when I saw what looked like a shadow on the water, it was extending left from an island. Something about it didn't look right so I kinda did something a little out of character for our role as deckhands and jumped over to the the big spotlight and flicked it on. That's when we saw, just a few boat lengths in front of the ship a rock and gravel shoal. It was low tide and this big long shoal was just smack dab in front of us
This new chief mate cranked it hard over and luckily we missed it. It did rock the boat quite a bit and we all just stood there in shock. Lucky nothing more came of it other than a hard turn. Thank god it was the last hour this new chief mate was on watch and thank god I was relieved from bridge watch. Apparently it was was very quiet and very awkward hour with that guy.
He was fired that day and sent packing. It turns out all he was doing all night was following the GPS plots. Those are guides, not actual tracks one should follow without using the radar, charts and all the other aids to navigation we have. This idiot was just following a line and doing no proper navigation at all. He wasn't even marking the chart or logbook properly, just copying what the GPS said. Apparently that's all he had ever done in the open waters of the gulf, just follow a line so that's all he did in the tight and confined waters of Alaska.
Sometimes I think about the things that could have gone wrong. What if I had just left the bridge instead of staying to chat, my partner didn't have night vision yet so he would not have seen it. What if my relief had shown up late, or early, what if the conversation was a little different? What if I had just thought that shadow was just from the trees on the little island and not flicked on the light? So many things could have gone wrong and who knows how it would have turned out. Would it just have been a collision with a soft sand bar and some paperwork, or would we have hit hard rock and torn the bottom open drowning most of the crew asleep in their underwater rooms? SO many little variables and any one of them could have changed the outcome.
Sea Trials
[rebelmouse-image 18347764 is_animated_gif=I provide software and services for most of the major cruise lines and spend a lot of time "cruising". On the new builds is when you see a lot of crazy stuff happening.
When a brand new ship is built they have to go through what's called Sea Trials. This is a full systems check for multiple reasons, biggest ones being safety, emissions, and engine/navigation testing. This happens without passengers , and a lot of stuff breaks usually. They will list the ship (lean it all the way to one side) as hard as they can and hold position while doing a circle or figure eight pattern in the water. I had a ~600lb wine cooler (fully stocked) fall face down about 12" away from me while installing a PC at a bar. It sounded like a stick or dynamite exploding from the pressure of all the bottles hitting and simultaneously breaking. I froze staring at it and as I started to come out of the initial shock, four security crew members came running around the corner, no one else around except me and about $10k in broken wine (and the cooler wasn't cheap either). I just stuck my hands in the air, and slowly exited the scene. I'm pretty sure if I was standing one foot to the right it wouldn't have been pretty for me.
Found out the yard workers forgot to bolt it down (as per protocol), oops.
Freddie Mercury And A Free Steak Dinner
[rebelmouse-image 18347765 is_animated_gif=I was a musician aboard a cruise ship. One time, a guest entertainer (a fly-on act who joins the ship for a cruise to perform one show) thought he was fcking Freddie Mercury or something. He decided to literally throw out his CDs like ninja stars into a completely dark audience.
One ended up hitting some old woman a half an inch below the eye and she had to go to medical. The husband wrote the cruise director a very threatening letter basically saying "my wife almost went blind so I strongly suggest you give us a free steak dinner."
Cheaters Overboard And Into The Jellyfish
[rebelmouse-image 18347766 is_animated_gif=One time I was on a cruise, and a few cabins down a man and woman who were cheating on their wife and husband, respectively, got super drunk and fell over the edge of their balcony. From really high up. It was at night too.
The whole cruise ship stopped once it was reported and it took like an entire day to search for them. Apparently the man had his jeans or something because he had inflated them somehow and they were floating holding them.
They reported that they were stung by multiple jelly fish and were super cold the whole time. That must have been the scariest most terrible eighteen hours of their lives.
H/T: Reddit
Ewww: People Break Down The Worst Food Sins They Can Imagine
Reddit user Shozo459 asked: 'What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?'
When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.
Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.
Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:
"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"
Trust the preparation.
That Is Soy Not Funny
"ketchup on sushi."
– BattleCatManic
I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."
– Mattress_Of_Needles
No Sauce Required
"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."
"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."
"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."
– gabu87
Tough Meat
"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."
– stalagit68
That's just rude.
Expired Offer
"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."
– iggylevin
"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."
– Jimmy_Twotone
Chili & Cinnamon
"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."
– MayorOfVenice
Citrus Sin
"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."
– shhjustwatch
"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."
– MayorOfVenice
Who does that?
Gimme Some Skin
"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."
– Upbeat_Tension_8077
"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."
"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."
"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."
– anon
Condiment For All
"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."
– OverlappingChatter
"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."
– loritree
Wasting food is a cardinal sin.
Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day
"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."
"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"
– moosegoose2222
"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."
– Swivel_D
Kevin Sucks
"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."
"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."
"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."
"Rot in hell, Kevin."
– WhitePineBurning
My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.
I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.
I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.
I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.
I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.
But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"
I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.
Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?
Anyone who grew up with one or more siblings is bound to have stories of how their siblings occasionally (or frequently) got on their nerves.
Indeed, some people don't even have any sort of relationship with their siblings once they fly the nest.
Those who grew up only children, however, often have trouble accepting that people would cut their siblings out of their lives.
While being an only child can often mean getting your parent's complete love and attention, it also means that you will have to go through many of life's challenges alone, with no peer to turn to for support.
Not to mention, never having anyone to torment and boss around, as many children dream of doing to their younger siblings.
Redditor BroccoliniCarrot was curious to hear what only children thought was the biggest disadvantage of growing up with no siblings, leading them to ask:
"What’s the worst about being an only child?"
Lack Of Playmates
"When I was little, people would give me board games like Monopoly for gifts, and I wouldn't have anyone to play with."
"even Hungry Hungry Hippo sucked playing solo."
"I did master Solitaire though!"- Jesikabelcher
Last One Standing
"When my parents die that’s it."
"I’m just alone."- undertheraindrops
"Family is the most likely group of people to help you when things get tough."
"When your parents pass you have less support."
"Also, aging parents become solely your responsibility."- rubixd
"Taking care of an elderly parent with no one to help."- 3Gilligans
No One To Turn To
"When you are the only one to support your aging parents."- Fantastic_Leg_3534
Forced Independence
"I think because I am an only child I have become used to spending time on my own."
"As a result I am quite antisocial.'
"I don’t mind being around people and can be quite talkative however it exhausts me and I need far too much time on my own to recover."- OstneyPiz
"You become TOO comfortable with being alone all the time, to the point where being alone is the default and interacting with others feels like a chore."
"And that doesn't play out too well in the real world."- DeathSpiral321·
Going Through It Alone
"No one to have a sanity check with."
"My wife and closest friend have siblings and they talk about a close bond with their respective siblings where they could look at the other and effectively say 'mom/dad are crazy, right?'"
"Being an only, I thought some of the sh*t they pulled growing up was normal."
"Having a sibling would have helped counter the gas lighting from parents."- RennSport5280
Making Your Own Conversation Partners...
"As an adult, I sometimes find it difficult to quiet the self-talk because all too often growing up it was all I had."-GreenDolphin86
More For Me?
"I am absolutely not good at sharing."
"Plus and minus was that I got all of my parents' attention, so I had a lot of love and support but also a lot of expectations and not a lot of space to f*ck up."
"Nowhere to hide, no one to blame anything on, and no backup when they were being unreasonable."
"But I also didn't have to split time, affections, or personal belongings with some other gremlin sharing my DNA."=Justheretolurkyall
No One To Keep You In Line...
"No reality check."
"Nobody to confirm that, no, it's not you that's acting nuts."
"Later, nobody to bounce ideas and behaviors off of, nobody to tell you, 'hey, X thinks you're cute' or 'that's not how you ask a girl out, doofus, say this'."
"I should mention that for various reasons, if I had had siblings they would have been older."
"So when I imagine not being an only child, I tend to imagine being a younger brother."
"But I think the reality-check thing would still operate even as an oldest sibling; plus I might have learned to handle responsibility earlier."- ElderPoet
There Is, Indeed, Safety In Numbers
"I am the only son of a single mother."
"I hate this term, but it's called emotional incest."
"Basically my Mom was very young when she had me and there were no men in her / my life."
"As a result, she placed all of that emotional needs of a grown woman on to me."
"My Mom never really raised me as a son."
"At best, she raised me like a little brother she got stuck with after our parents died."
"At worst, she treated me like I was a toxic boyfriend."- ANerdCalledMike
No Scapegoats
"All eyes are on you- can’t get away with anything!"
"Most strict parents ever ( they were older too)."
"Unlike my husband's family growing up with 6 kids."
"Parents hardly knew where the teenagers were or who they were with."- Available_Honey_2951
"When asked by a parent what happened you cannot blame your sibling."- nanodecay
The Eye Of TheBeholder
"People assuming that I was spoiled."- Purlz1st
Having no siblings means never being bullied, teased or tormented, or having to vie for your parent's attention.
Something many people who grew up with older or younger siblings openly say they dream of.
When the going gets tough, however, and these same people realize they always had their brothers or sisters to turn to, they might bite their words and regret ever even thinking of being an only child.
Many couples like to spice things up in their relationships to keep things fresh.
When it comes to bedroom spices, couples tend to add ingredients, like another person to the mix.
But everyone really needs to be on the same page with who they're mixing with.
Or drama can ensue.
Redditor MrRandyWatson_100 wanted to hear about what happened to relationships after inviting a third, so they asked:
"Redditors who have had a threesome with their SO, how did the relationship turnout after sex?"
Bad Things
Tim Robinson No GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy"It was already horrible, that's why I didn't mind trying it. It didn't get any better, but it was a lot of fun."
Educational_Dust_932
Thanks, Jerry
"Went on a vacation with my ex and her best friend from out of state. It was heavily alluded to that we were going to give a threesome a go. We all arrive at the hotel, and her friend turns on the TV while we unpack. It was by chance an episode of Jerry Springer (or some equivalent type of show). The subject was 'Our threesome ruined my life.' Obviously, it didn’t happen."
sincethenes
"Wanna hear a pile on to that? We broke up a few years later, I haven’t seen or heard from her in years. I bought a new home two years ago in the middle of nowhere. I go to the local grocery store, and there she is. Turns out she lives about 1/4 of a mile away from me. Thanks, Universe."
sincethenes
Then Again...
"We all went out to eat breakfast the next day and it was just such a funny experience. We laughed and talked about how crazy it was. Afterward, my girlfriend was embarrassed and said she didn't want anything like that ever again. Then it happened again (at her own insistence, with the same girl)."
"Then again. After the 3rd time, I was pretty blown away that this would be a regular thing. After a while things stopped and my girlfriend went back to being super embarrassed about it and liked to pretend it never happened."
Kogah
Well bye now...
"The sex was fine, we invited a third for a fun night at a hotel with a jacuzzi and drinks. But then the third person didn't leave, nor did they leave in the morning after breakfast, and the next night after dinner we literally had to ask him to leave so we could continue our vacation as a couple in privacy. It gave us a funny story to joke about for years and didn't affect our relationship."
Mister_IceBlister
Realizations
Shocked Sesame Street GIFGiphy"Haven’t been in a threesome, but my gf had two on the same day with her previous partner, which is when she realized she was actually into girls more."
"So in a way, I can thank those threesomes for my relationship. She doesn’t like it when I bring this up lol."
DreaDreamer
Epiphanies can come at the strangest times.
Whoops
Schitts Creek Oops GIF by CBCGiphy"My girlfriend asked me who I would like a threesome with. Then she got angry. Apparently, I was supposed to name only one person."
arvigeus
Long Stories
"I (M) hooked up with a friend and his wife a few times. He originally proposed it as something she would enjoy, with both of us focusing our attention on her. She reluctantly went along with it but quickly got way too into it for his comfort. He got jealous of all the attention she was getting despite that being the point of the threesomes in the first place."
"Long story short, after many long fruitless discussions and a few arguments we finally got him to admit that he was in love with me, he wanted the threesome so that we (he and I) could have sex (despite us having had many conversations in the past about how I'm not that into men and he's definitely not my type) without cheating or him getting a divorce."
"Longer story even shorter, we're no longer friends, they're divorced, wife and I became really close friends for a few years."
tempUN123
Happy Holidays
"Relationship with who, your SO or the third person involved?"
"My SO brought her very close female friend for a threesome as a Christmas present to me one year. I was really nervous but they made me feel super comfortable and able to just enjoy the experience. I'm still with my SO and the friend is still a friend, we don't see her very much as she lives in a different country but it's in no way awkward."
AverageMale31
Surprise
"I had a threesome with one of my close friends and her boyfriend of like 5 years (at the time). She wanted to surprise him and boy did it work. It was fun! We ended up doing it a few more times. They’re still together and doing well and my friendship with them has never changed. The only difference is now we have inside jokes and references together!"
wineshivers
Be Careful
Bedtime Threesome GIF by PantayaGiphy"Just fine... But don't play with others if your relationship isn't on solid footing and your communication isn't up to par."
Misophonic4000
"In my experience, sometimes you think you’re on solid footing, but in reality, it’s a house of cards easily toppled. In retrospect, it was f**ked either way, but this definitely expedited the end."
AdmiralTiberius
Not all fun ideas are good ideas.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Have you ever gone back to your elementary school as an adult and been amazed that everything looked smaller than you remembered?
It's a great example of how our perception of the world around us is shaped by our own experiences and where we are in life.
As a child everything seems big because we're small.
Our childhood perceptions of other things were also skewed. Things that seemed grand luxuries became ordinary or mundane as we aged.
Reddit user SinkingFeelingBruh asked:
"What did you think was fancy as a kid that isn’t?"
Mc's Steakhouse
"Getting to eat McDonald's all the time..."
~ 02red
"This was my first thought, and it was also the first comment I came across opening the thread."
"You are so right..McDonald's used to be so exciting. I don't even eat it anymore."
~ kasparzellar
GiphyWith or Without Crusts
"Cutting sandwiches diagonally."
~ 787la57la47al
"As a college student, I love dressing up my husbands plate when he eats mediocre meals. If he wants a sandwich, I will dress it up like it’s fine dining."
"I made us air fries nuggets and had the ketchup dots and swirls garnishing the plate lol. It makes things more fun."
~ ireallyamtired
Cocktails for Children
"Shirley Temple/Roy Rogers drinks."
"I remember when my parents would take us to a 'fancy' restaurant and we would be able to order these."
"I felt so adult! With the skinny straw and the maraschino cherry..."
~ Iron_Chic
"Okay but low key though… I still love myself a Shirley temple."
"Like if someone were to offer me one I definitely wouldn’t turn it down."
~ faithle97
GiphyWelcome to the Club
"As a kid I thought going to a restaurant and having a club sandwich was the height of sophistication. Probably because I learned about club sandwiches from a family friend who introduced me to them."
"I used to think the little toothpicks with the plastic frills that held the sandwiches together were sooooo fancy. I always brought my toothpicks home with me to play with."
~ Bebe_Bleau
Processed Foods
"My friends whose kitchens were filled with junk food like Captain Crunch, Twinkies and Ding Dongs, hot dogs and American cheese."
"I thought they were so fancy and I was so jealous."
"My mom cooked from scratch every day, and we thought we were so neglected because she wouldn't buy that sh*t for us to eat."
"We were so lucky. Thanks, Mom."
~ riceme0112358
GiphyOoh la la!
"Viennetta ice cream cake was the peak of fancy for me."
~ KaleidoscopeVast9290
"I came here to say this! They marketed it really well to 7-14 year olds."
~ Holiday-Armadillo-34
The BIG Box
"Back in my day, kids who had Crayola 120 colored pencils were considered the elites of society."
~ Prism_Red
"Or the Crayola Crayons with the sharpener on the back."
~ Spoozle64
GiphyA World Tour in a Mug
"A cup of General Foods International Coffee to cap off your five star evening. Might I recommend the Suisse Mocha?"
~ Smooth_Riker
"That was upper class shiz that I begged my parents to buy for company."
"Turns out, Folgers out of the red can was all encompassing; for home and company. Sigh."
~ burgerg10
"My 10 year old self would walk around my room sipping a cuppa and pretending I was grown in my own apartment."
~ odd_kumquat
It's the Foil Wrapper
"Ferrero Rocher chocolate."
~ SirRobynHode
"Richard Gere did the commercials in a tux. I thought these must be the most fancy and expensive chocolates imaginable."
~ Either-Durian-5517
"Dude I'm 22 and they're still fancy to me."
~ rubbersoulelena
GiphyUnder Glass
"Desserts in the display cases (eclairs, bon bons, petifores, etc...)."
~ Med_Vamp
"This jogged my memory of those iced cookies they’d have on display at Giant (American grocery store)."
~ nicheencyclopedia
Pardon Me, Do You Have Any?
"For some reason, as a kid I thought Grey Poupon was some fancy delicacy by the French. I imagined some fancy guy with a gray wig slathering it on a baguette."
"Like only the rich had access to it."
"It’s just mustard. WTF. Still haven’t had it."
~ JackfruitCurry
"When I got married, my dad insisted upon renting a Rolls Royce to take hubs and me from the church to the reception."
"I jokingly asked the driver 'pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?' in my snootiest faux-British accent. He popped open the glove box and there it was!!!!"
~ RefugeefromSAforums
GiphyBeep, Beep
"Old cars from fancy brands."
"Kids are always like 'whoa he drives a BMW' without realizing it's not impressive to drive a 1999 BMW in 2023."
~ slightofhand1
Get Some Quarters for the Bed
"Hotels were the fanciest as a kid, weren't they?"
~ Non-opisthokont
"I thought a motel or an inn was fancier than a hotel."
~ tobiiam
"Omg, yes! Lol, the vibrating beds were so fancy & fun! I’d always beg my parents to get me one."
~ Sad-Comfortable1566
Jumping Michael Chiesa GIF by UFCGiphyBut There's Cheddar in the Biscuits
"Red lobster."
~ MonsoonMermaid
"A guy I worked with (in the 90’s) said he treated his women right."
"When he went out to eat, he took them to places like Red Lobster. What a baller!"
~ eastcoastme
"Oof, I took my junior prom date to Red Lobster back in ‘00. Sorry, Michelle…wherever you are."
~ kyd712
The Beer Fridge
"I thought that having a second, older fridge in your garage meant your family was rich.
"Actually, hell, if you had a garage at all I thought you were rich."
~ CoolBugg
"Didn’t realize people used their garages for cars for YEARS. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it."
"It feels like such a waste of storage space to keep a car in there. Where else do people keep lol their tools, holiday decor, and sh*t they don’t want to throw out but also don’t want to use anymore?"
~ Ithinkillgrowthis
"When we bought our house it came with a fridge in the garage."
"I audibly gasped."
~ Aggravating-Dig-8987
GiphyMy Father was in the military, but didn't want to live on United States Navy bases, so we lived off base in a trailer.
Back then, trailers were much smaller and easily moved from place to place. So each time my Father was stationed at a new base, our trailer was packed up and moved to a new trailer park near the new base.
Because of this life of trailer parks, my idea of luxury living wasn't a mansion—it was a double-wide trailer.
What did you think was fancy as a kid?