In a perfect world, family has your back harder than anyone else.
In the real world, it can sometimes be your family that cuts deeper than anyone else. Intentional or not, the people closest to you have the ability to seriously super suck.
No, you're not the only one who has dealt with a mom who just, for the life of themselves, can't NOT be critical. Or a dad who just always seemed chronically underwhelmed by you.
One Reddit user asked:
You know what they say; sticks and stones may break your bones but words can ... leave you deeply scarred and in need of therapy. Whoever said they couldn't hurt you was a lying liarpants.
Too Young To Have Problemssad carry on GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy
"As a child (13) i was diagnosed with kidney cancer."
"The news hit me pretty hard because, as a kid that had lost family to cancer, I knew how serious it was. My diagnosis threw me into horrid depression."
"The mother of my step father (so step grandma) laughed at me when the news got to her because "You're too young to have problems so just get over it."
"My mother was flabbergasted. She already hated the woman. Probably a factor in us cutting her completely out of our life once my step father passed - he had already been in the hospital for 2 years at that point and he hated watching the two of them (my mother and his mother) fight."
"My mother sparred telling him for the sake of peace. He died without ever knowing what his mom said. I'm still in and out of remission, currently doing good."
Glad you're doing much better now! That's a relief.
"Like You Ruined Mine"
"When I (a married adult) told my father I was expecting a baby he said: "Get an abortion, a kid will ruin your life, like you ruined mine." Broke my heart. My kids are the two best things that have ever happened to me and my husband."
"They are adults now and I cannot for the life of me ever understand how a parent could feel the way my father feels, much less understand why he would say such a vile thing."
"It says more about him than me. His loss."
It says sooo much more about him than you. Vile, indeed.
Not The Call OP Was Expecting
"Toxic childhood, my mother had no parenting skills."
"When I was 15 she assaulted me pretty terribly for asking if she would buy groceries because I hadn't eaten in a few days. I moved out the next day and couch surfed for a long time."
"After putting myself through university and getting an advanced honors degree, she called me... to tell me that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than my family."
"I'm doing well now. I have a lovely wife who loves me, a good job even through the pandemic, and I haven't spoken to my family in a long time, which is for the best."
"Still struggling through that for sure (guilt, anger, etc.), but doing alright with it."
You know that's projection, right?
It says nothing about you – and a lot about her.
Too Ugly, Too Dark
"My mom wouldn't ever let me go to parties with her and my dad when I was a kid. She brings my sister and little brother though because they have light skin (we're from Asia)."
"One day I dressed up and got ready because everyone else did. And then she asked me "Why are you getting ready?" and I asked why "Aren't we going to a party?". She stared at me and told me "No... you're too ugly" in our language."
"I'm 21 now and our relationship has never been the same since. I aged well though thankfully but it still stings whenever I remember it."
"I also remember our most recent fight - I was mad that my sister who graduated college more than 5 years ago now still gets allowance while I, still in school, with full units, with a full scholarship, am working for my own bills and allowance."
"None of my siblings had to work while they're studying. Now she even gets my savings and gets mad at me whenever I ask for it back."
"I know my life's sucky right now but after I'm done with school, I'm planning on going no-contact with everyone and will build my own life and hopefully find people who truly love me."
"Sorry for the rant. It's nice to let out a little sometimes when I can."
No need to apologize – this is a safe space, after all.
Not Exactly Worried About A Rapist's Reviewcat illustration GIFGiphy
"I'm a pale woman with dark body hair. My mother saw that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while and said: "You need to shave that hair off, what happens if you get attacked and they rush you to emergency and the doctors have to see that hair?"
Pretty sure the doctors won't care a bit – and that your hair would be the last thing on your mind.
Beat Me Stupid
"My dad told me if I didn't change my attitude my future husband would beat me stupid. I'm actually married to a very smart and kind man. My father is, and always has been, a piece of sh*t."
"Me always being strong was what made my father hate me even more. He was abusive and would hit us. So this was a common thing he would say to break me down."
Another abuser projecting their nonsense on the people around them. Hope you've gotten far, far away from that – and that you're happier now!
Too Stupid, Naïve and Immature
"When I was in middle school I applied for a college training type program. They help you apply, gain knowledge etc while you're still in school."
"On the way to the interview my dad told me he was wasting his money, gas and time on something so ridiculous, because I was too stupid, naïve and immature to ever be accepted into this program, let alone graduate hs or make it to college."
"I spent that entire ride bawling my eyes out, aced that interview, and had my first two years of college paid for. F*ck you dad."
You did it! The best success is revenge, as they say.
What Do You Even Contribute?
"I (23f) got a notice in the mail saying that my insurance company was lowering my rates on car and rental policies. I told my mom (53) and she said, "rental? What do you even contribute to the house?"
"I'm 23 years old, I'm a medical biller and make a decent salary for someone who has two years experience but not enough to move out yet."
"When my dad passed away at age 49 from cancer five years ago, I helped my mom a lot by helping her settle my dad's will, help her make financial decisions, cook, clean, signed us up for medical insurance, help my older brother (26) with his and her taxes I also helped him apply for school financial aid. I was a teenager."
"I took time off of work take care of her after two major surgeries because my brother didn't feel "comfortable". I would drive him to places too. We use to share a car and I paid for over $100 a month for gas and he would only give me $20."
"I snapped at my mom because I know if I didn't step up my older brother wouldn't even do anything. I told her everything I did and still do for this family. I don't mind that they rely on me to help them but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep them warm anymore."
"My mom did apologize and she didn't realize how much I did for her and my older brother. I accept the apology but those words still sting my heart."
Naturally. The best apology is changed behavior. Hopefully her behavior changed.
I Left For A Reason
"I tracked down my estranged mother a couple years ago after she had been gone from my life since I was 5. When she figured out who I was, her response was: "I don't have a daughter. I left for a reason."
"Then she hung up the phone and I just stood there in my living room trying not to cry. It hurt, but I made it 34 years without her and I have every intention of continuing to do so."
This is a very good point. You did it before and you're doing it now. You are stong – and certainly do not need that sort of energy in your life one bit.
She Took My Hand And Said...
"When I was 9 I adored my older sister (8 years older than me). I just wanted to be like her in every way."
"One day I did something (probably an annoying little sister thing) and she took my hand, led me to my room and told me, "You don't understand how powerful the word hate is yet but you one day will and you should know I hate you. 100% hate you."
"She said it so matter of factly and just walked out. It broke my heart. Changed me from that day forward."
What?! She said this to a child?! Why?
Hopefully you've steered clear of her in your adulthood.
After Mom Died
"After my mother died, my first cousin's wife told me that I was no longer a member of the family because I was adopted (as an infant, FYI) and the death of my mother severed my membership in the family. I was 41 when she said this to me."
"For an adopted child—at least for me, fear of rejection is an early childhood trauma you can't escape. I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents."
"When she said that to me I half expected them to rise from the grave to defend me. They loved me, I am secure in that. But the knowledge that she felt that way and nobody else shut her down still hurts."
Understandably! We're sorry you had to deal with such pain.
Family, blood family, is unfortunately not guaranteed to be your biggest support. That's why it's important to remember that you can choose your family. And that's freedom.
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America is quite a place.
There is so much to see, perhaps too much.
And as much as there is to see there is a ton not to see.
Just like any country and continent, there are skippable places.
And skippable isn't a bad thing.
Redditor ArdianNuhijiwanted some advice about traveling this great land of ours.
"What parts/states of America should be avoided during a cross country road trip as a European?"
I'm not a fan of super hot, so watch out in the South. The heat can kill you.
2 Weeksrenee zellweger chicago GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"We just did a road trip from Chicago down through St Louis and Memphis to New Orleans. Then back to Chicago through Huntsville, Nashville and Indianapolis. Took 2 weeks. We've previously done road trips on the east and west coasts and I did a Miami-San Francisco-Seattle-Vancouver-Chicago-New York trip back in 2000."
"The interstates are great when you need to get between cities fast but it's fun to take the smaller roads and stop in the places you pass through. In some states there's a lot of nothing but then it's even more fun when you can stop for lunch in a great diner in a tiny town. Depending where you're from you might be alarmed by the poor road design and poor driving."
"Be aware that there can be sharp exits and traffic lights on huge wide highways. Exits on the wrong side (from the fast lane) are pretty common on urban interstates. 'Welcome Centers' at rest areas at state borders are (in my experience) often staffed by really lovely and helpful people. Have fun!"
"As a Canadian: We took a road trip down to Mississippi one time, just me, my ex and a friend of ours. We decided to take the backroads there instead of taking the Interstate, so we wound up in lots of places in rural US. Quite frankly, as a guy roaming in the middle of nowhere with two college girls... I never felt unsafe."
"There were some interesting 'Deliverance' moments, like when we stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere to get gas and hit the head. Two guys wearing only overalls, chewing chaw sitting out front, greeting us with only grunts and spits. It was like something right out of a movie and we were expecting to get skinned... but everything was fine."
DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS!!!
"As far as danger, you're not gonna be in any danger, unless you go hunting for bears or wind up in the ghettos of Detroit. Don't drive into NYC (mainly Manhattan island) the traffic is awful and parking will cost you a pretty penny (Pence? Man, I'm American.) DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS. Police get bored and they will pull you over faster than you can hit the brake."
"On the interstate you can match speed with the rest of traffic, but good rule of thumb is to not go more than 10 mph over speed limit. Finally, avoid side-of-the-highway tourist traps, like random moccasin stores or giant rubberband balls. They're not dangerous, but the products will be subpar and overpriced. (I'm looking at you, Osceola Cheese Factory)."
It's so Big!
"I feel like I should warn you that many Europeans vastly underestimate how large the USA is. You could drive for 7 hours in Texas and still be in Texas. It would take you three days to get from one end of California to the other. Pick which states you want to go to, plan your route that way, plan for it to take at least a week."
"Edit: because some Europeans got pressed in the replies, no, I’m not insinuating that you don’t know geography. I’m warning you about the mistakes that European tourists tend to make while visiting the US. You’re not gonna road trip from New York, to Las Vegas, to San Francisco, to Seattle. It’s just not going to happen."
Several DestinationsLets Go Falling GIF by BARMERGiphy
"Nowhere is really worthy of 'avoiding,' the actually dangerous areas aren’t places tourists would really seek out anyway."
"I suppose certain areas could be boring, depending on your preferences. Really I would advise the US is vast, so pick like 6 or seven destinations and do research. Don’t try to see the whole country in one go. I’ve lived here for decades and haven’t seen half of it."
It's all a give and take. Every road has a different journey.
Just BlahSpongebob Squarepants Reaction GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"The biggest threat is boredom. Are you sure you don’t want to road-trip the east coast and then fly to Vegas and then drive up the California coast? I have driven cross country twice and it’s a lot of hours of nothing. Then maybe you see the worlds largest baseball bat or rubber band ball and then several more hours of nothing."
"If you're interested in scenery, the upper west has some phenomenal mountains to see. Montana and Idaho offer some spectacular scenery in my opinion."
"Only thing I'd warn about Montana or other more rural states is that understand that you won't always find a hotel for miles, cell service can disappear for like 100 miles, and GPS does not necessarily work off of highways. You don't want to go up some dirt road and end up stranded in hot/cold conditions with no idea where you are and no cell service."
good sense of the character...
"If you’re doing a road trip, keep in mind that the huge main arteries (like I-95 on the east coast) usually wont give you a good sense of the character of cities or the towns. Those large interstates are really just for traveling, and to get you from one place to another quickly with food, gas and restrooms easily accessible. Most of the really interesting stuff in a town or a city will be on local roads and highways. Don’t judge a place based solely on what you can see from an interstate!"
"'I support you OP. Quit listening to this There's nothing to see in the middle' bulls**t. If all you want to do is the same touristy crap as everyone else, then sure, see NY, California, and go home. But if you're coming here to say you've experienced American life, go out in the middle. Hang out with the locals and let them show you why they're still there. There's so much awesome crap to see that's completely underappreciated."
Just Go Out Thereturning up road trip GIFGiphy
"None of them; every state is unique and has amazing parts to them. They also have shi**y parts, but most of them places tourists would want to go aren’t bad. No tourist is going to some small racist town in the country or going to visit the shi**y part of the city."
Get out there kids and see it all. Be safe.
What would you add or remove from this list? Let us know in the comments section!
It's nearly spooky season!
You know what that means: Time to curl up on the couch, make some popcorn, and watch some horror movies.
But what if you're not much of a horror aficionado and you're just getting started out?
Are there any classics you might want to check out?
What about anything new that's received good reviews? Where to begin?
People told us about the best horror films they've seen after Redditor AltruisticPower asked the online community,
"What is the best horror movie you have ever seen?"
Pet Sematary (1989)
"Pet Sematary. The fact that a possessed cat is the main antagonist is a really unique concept."
Unfortunately, I don't particularly care for either version of this tale because neither one has managed to even capture the feeling of dread that is so pervasive in the book, but there is no denying that the original film certainly leaves you with an impression.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Blair Witch Project.
I know the whole "found footage" genre has been done to death now, but this was one of the first movies to adopt this method and it worked beautifully. You have to remember that this movie came out before the internet/social media....so when the marketing material claimed it was real, there really wasn't much of a way to disprove it.
I still remember leaving the cinema as a 15-year-old shaking with fear. A superbly made, suspenseful horror movie which still holds up to this day."
It seems cool to hate this movie now, but you know what? I love it to pieces. It's incredible, and one of the only movies to give me chills even while watching it in broad daylight.
The Shining (1980)
"Since it's a Kubrick movie it deserves to be watched on a larger screen with decent speakers. Lights off. It's probably better watched in the dead of winter as well. It's the kind of movie that's a whole mood.
The book is also one of King's best and it's so different from the movie that both are great in their own right."
A classic that I never get tired of. I've seen it many, many times and it's brilliant.
"Saw. I think what made Saw so great was that it was just an ordinary guy doing these things. No monsters, no supernatural stuff. That's what made it so scary."
The first Saw blew my mind when I was younger. Unfortunately, the sequels, save for perhaps the first one, were pretty lackluster. It's amazing this series has gone on so long.
"I think the original Halloween is probably about as perfect as a horror could ever be. It's perfect in every way."
It's a pretty excellent film and it holds up for a reason. Rewatchable as hell!
The Thing (1982)
"John Carpenter's The Thing is my favorite. It has fantastic effects, the story keeps you on the edge of your seat, and the characters are great and believable."
Perhaps the finest horror remake out there? It's possible, friends.
"Ghostwatch is a slow burn but amazing. The entire movie is done as a British television programme about a haunted house."
One of my favorites. It is remarkably unnerving, particularly the very last scene.
Lake Mungo (2008)
"Lake Mungo got into my head and won't move out. It's the kind of film that requires a second viewing."
I wanted to love this one, but did not. It was fine. There is another film, Megan Is Missing, which provides a much worse shock in the final third of the film.
"Angst - I don't know if I can call this is a "horror movie" in the traditional sense. It's absolutely horrific, sure. But it's a pure art film. A f**** up one. The plot isn't complicated, and it's not long. I won't "ruin it" but suffice to say it's probably the most accurate depiction of a sexual sadist you're ever going to watch."
This one is truly a sight for the ages. Not for the faint of heart, at all. I don't say that mildly.
"I was around 8 when I tried seeing the first Aliens movie. That first chest burster scared the s**t out of me."
And Aliens takes the series in an even crazier direction than the first one! Still, nothing can compare to that original.
Well, what are you waiting for? You might want to queue these up, whether you've seen them already or not. A good horror movie is always worth revisiting, even long after it stops scaring you!
Have some recommendations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
It's never fun to be lied to, particularly by your significant other.
Sometimes we discover that they were lying to us in order to surprise us for our birthday or anniversary, making the dishonesty easily forgiven.
In other instances, however, their lies were all to cover up something much less celebratory.
For better or worse, some people's partners are very convincing liars.
Others however are simply unable to keep a secret, and their stories or explanations to cover things up only make things worse.
Redditor CanadianKiss was eager to hear the most absurd and ridiculous lies people ever heard from their significant others, leading them to ask:
"What was the most insane lie an S/O told you?"
Keep Your Panties On!
"After I found out my wife was having an affair, I snooped through her email, saw she bought 5 pairs of lingerie over the past several months that I had never seen."
"When confronted about it she said she liked the progress she has been making in the gym and just wanted to see how she looked in them and threw them away after she tried them on."- DrMilzie
"Told me she was a veterinarian and even had a degree hanging on her wall."
"My parents own a small farm so I asked her for advice and the answers were always questionable."
"My gut was telling me something is off."
"Googled her school and asked some basic questions that anyone who went should know."
"It was all a lie."- Auditory_Whiplash
The Worst Kind Of Lie
"That the baby was mine."- shilling70baby daddy GIF by Face The TruthGiphy
It's All About The Anticipation...
"That there was spaghetti waiting for me when I get back."
"There was no spaghetti waiting for me."- IWannaBeMade1
"That he didn’t like honey when he did."
"It’s insane to me because what’s the point?"
Some People Don't Even Try...
“'I got gonorrhea from cutting myself on a broken bong'."
"Survey says, that’s a lie!"- CautiousOwl02True Love Weed GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"That I was the one who was destroying our marriage for being suspicious all the while she was the one cheating."-shenanigansgalores
Faking Cancer? Seriously?
"I broke up with this dude after only a couple of dates."
"A week later he hits me up asking to take me to lunch bc he just found out he had cancer."
"He tricked me into a year-long relationship based on a cancer lie."
"I believe karma is a b*tch though."- crunchyleafs_
"She called me three months after we broke up to tell me I was right."
"'All that tanning has given me skin cancer'."
"I asked which kind."
"She couldn't remember what the doctor called it."
"I asked, 'Is it lymphoma?'"
"She said, 'Yeah, that's the one.'"
"I hung up."- Spodson
"That she was an orphan."
"Her family was very surprised."- Garlic_Bread_865589orphan GIFGiphy
The key to a healthy relationship is honesty, barring of course covering up a surprise which will make your partner happy.
And when the only way to stay in a relationship is through lies and deceit, it's probably time to start re-evaluating how well things are going.
Ironically, that's when it becomes time to really be "honest" with yourself.
Getting struck by lighting, winning the lottery, meeting someone else with your exact name who also shares your birthday.
For better or worse, the likelihood of any of these things happening to you is incredibly small.
And yet, there are still a handful of lucky, or unlucky, people who have experienced one, or all, of the above.
Even if the odds are against us by a significant margin, some people will go through an experience which they would never in a million years dream would happen to them.
Leaving them with quite some stories to tell.
Redditor scared4lyf was curious to hear more about the statistically unlikely experiences people have gone through, leading them to ask:
"What statistically rare thing happened to you?"
"My birth is in a medical journal and my mom still gives me crap about it almost 40yrs later."
Due to my mom's low rib cage and high uterus, I was stuck in the bottom of her rib cage."
"The doctors were convinced I didn't have a head and told my mom her whole pregnancy that I only had a brain stem and she should abort."
"Lo and behold she goes into labor and they rush her in to do a C-section, only to discover I'm stuck."
"They end up laying her all the way open and cutting 3 ribs to get me out."
"She ended up stapled back together."
"(Yay for 1980s science."
" She gave her doctors so much hell about her being right."- Silaquix
Blessed With Strong Bones!
"I've been hit by a semi truck twice, and both times escaped with minor injuries."- mydogsaysimcoolso fetch mean girls GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
Frequently Chased By Death
"I was pronounced dead at 6 weeks old."
"I found a dead body when I was 10."- Smoochmypie
"Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, And Start All Over Again!"
"I’ve broken my ankles on 5 separate occasions."
"I also have flat feet. "
"Ironically I love running!"- ItsMyCakedayIRL
"Accidentally discovered during another surgery."
"No idea there was a tumor the size of an egg on my appendix."- Low_Bus_5395
A Mighty Wind...
"Got hit by a tornado."
"They don’t tell you about how it sucks the air out of the room while you’re inside it."- FriendlyFiberAngry British Summer GIF by moonbugGiphy
Talk About Victim Of Circumstance
"I was born in jail"- cavallinm
You Can Have Too Much Wisdom...
"I had 5 wisdom teeth."
"4 normal ones and 1 tiny one."- more_merkins
"My dad my uncle and me were all born on 8/11 different years."- KimchiandfriesHappy Birthday GIF by Eat'n ParkGiphy
Some people have all the luck, and some apparently have none at all!
All the more reason we should never assume that any unlikely experience will never happen to us...