People Break Down The Cruelest Thing A Family Member Has Ever Said To Them
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In a perfect world, family has your back harder than anyone else.

In the real world, it can sometimes be your family that cuts deeper than anyone else. Intentional or not, the people closest to you have the ability to seriously super suck.

No, you're not the only one who has dealt with a mom who just, for the life of themselves, can't NOT be critical. Or a dad who just always seemed chronically underwhelmed by you.


One Reddit user asked:

What is the most cruel thing a family member has said to you? Who?

You know what they say; sticks and stones may break your bones but words can ... leave you deeply scarred and in need of therapy. Whoever said they couldn't hurt you was a lying liarpants.

Too Young To Have Problems

sad carry on GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy

"As a child (13) i was diagnosed with kidney cancer."

"The news hit me pretty hard because, as a kid that had lost family to cancer, I knew how serious it was. My diagnosis threw me into horrid depression."

"The mother of my step father (so step grandma) laughed at me when the news got to her because "You're too young to have problems so just get over it."

"My mother was flabbergasted. She already hated the woman. Probably a factor in us cutting her completely out of our life once my step father passed - he had already been in the hospital for 2 years at that point and he hated watching the two of them (my mother and his mother) fight."

"My mother sparred telling him for the sake of peace. He died without ever knowing what his mom said. I'm still in and out of remission, currently doing good."

- metalicoe

Glad you're doing much better now! That's a relief.

"Like You Ruined Mine"

"When I (a married adult) told my father I was expecting a baby he said: "Get an abortion, a kid will ruin your life, like you ruined mine." Broke my heart. My kids are the two best things that have ever happened to me and my husband."

"They are adults now and I cannot for the life of me ever understand how a parent could feel the way my father feels, much less understand why he would say such a vile thing."

"It says more about him than me. His loss."

- Veganmon

It says sooo much more about him than you. Vile, indeed.

Not The Call OP Was Expecting

"Toxic childhood, my mother had no parenting skills."

"When I was 15 she assaulted me pretty terribly for asking if she would buy groceries because I hadn't eaten in a few days. I moved out the next day and couch surfed for a long time."

"After putting myself through university and getting an advanced honors degree, she called me... to tell me that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than my family."

"I'm doing well now. I have a lovely wife who loves me, a good job even through the pandemic, and I haven't spoken to my family in a long time, which is for the best."

"Still struggling through that for sure (guilt, anger, etc.), but doing alright with it."

- AwkwardCranberry7

The projection!

You know that's projection, right?

It says nothing about you – and a lot about her.

Too Ugly, Too Dark

"My mom wouldn't ever let me go to parties with her and my dad when I was a kid. She brings my sister and little brother though because they have light skin (we're from Asia)."

"One day I dressed up and got ready because everyone else did. And then she asked me "Why are you getting ready?" and I asked why "Aren't we going to a party?". She stared at me and told me "No... you're too ugly" in our language."

"I'm 21 now and our relationship has never been the same since. I aged well though thankfully but it still stings whenever I remember it."

"I also remember our most recent fight - I was mad that my sister who graduated college more than 5 years ago now still gets allowance while I, still in school, with full units, with a full scholarship, am working for my own bills and allowance."

"None of my siblings had to work while they're studying. Now she even gets my savings and gets mad at me whenever I ask for it back."

"I know my life's sucky right now but after I'm done with school, I'm planning on going no-contact with everyone and will build my own life and hopefully find people who truly love me."

"Sorry for the rant. It's nice to let out a little sometimes when I can."

- artmxs

No need to apologize – this is a safe space, after all.

Not Exactly Worried About A Rapist's Review

cat illustration GIFGiphy

"I'm a pale woman with dark body hair. My mother saw that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while and said: "You need to shave that hair off, what happens if you get attacked and they rush you to emergency and the doctors have to see that hair?"
- grindelvvald

WHAT?

Pretty sure the doctors won't care a bit – and that your hair would be the last thing on your mind.

Beat Me Stupid

"My dad told me if I didn't change my attitude my future husband would beat me stupid. I'm actually married to a very smart and kind man. My father is, and always has been, a piece of sh*t."

"Me always being strong was what made my father hate me even more. He was abusive and would hit us. So this was a common thing he would say to break me down."

- postylowkeyokey

Another abuser projecting their nonsense on the people around them. Hope you've gotten far, far away from that – and that you're happier now!

Too Stupid, Naïve and Immature

"When I was in middle school I applied for a college training type program. They help you apply, gain knowledge etc while you're still in school."

"On the way to the interview my dad told me he was wasting his money, gas and time on something so ridiculous, because I was too stupid, naïve and immature to ever be accepted into this program, let alone graduate hs or make it to college."

"I spent that entire ride bawling my eyes out, aced that interview, and had my first two years of college paid for. F*ck you dad."

- GothSpite

You did it! The best success is revenge, as they say.

What Do You Even Contribute? 

"I (23f) got a notice in the mail saying that my insurance company was lowering my rates on car and rental policies. I told my mom (53) and she said, "rental? What do you even contribute to the house?"

"I'm 23 years old, I'm a medical biller and make a decent salary for someone who has two years experience but not enough to move out yet."

"When my dad passed away at age 49 from cancer five years ago, I helped my mom a lot by helping her settle my dad's will, help her make financial decisions, cook, clean, signed us up for medical insurance, help my older brother (26) with his and her taxes I also helped him apply for school financial aid. I was a teenager."

"I took time off of work take care of her after two major surgeries because my brother didn't feel "comfortable". I would drive him to places too. We use to share a car and I paid for over $100 a month for gas and he would only give me $20."

"I snapped at my mom because I know if I didn't step up my older brother wouldn't even do anything. I told her everything I did and still do for this family. I don't mind that they rely on me to help them but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep them warm anymore."

"My mom did apologize and she didn't realize how much I did for her and my older brother. I accept the apology but those words still sting my heart."

- Calypos_Luna

Naturally. The best apology is changed behavior. Hopefully her behavior changed.

I Left For A Reason

"I tracked down my estranged mother a couple years ago after she had been gone from my life since I was 5. When she figured out who I was, her response was: "I don't have a daughter. I left for a reason."

"Then she hung up the phone and I just stood there in my living room trying not to cry. It hurt, but I made it 34 years without her and I have every intention of continuing to do so."

- feralhippie

This is a very good point. You did it before and you're doing it now. You are stong – and certainly do not need that sort of energy in your life one bit.

She Took My Hand And Said... 

"When I was 9 I adored my older sister (8 years older than me). I just wanted to be like her in every way."

"One day I did something (probably an annoying little sister thing) and she took my hand, led me to my room and told me, "You don't understand how powerful the word hate is yet but you one day will and you should know I hate you. 100% hate you."

"She said it so matter of factly and just walked out. It broke my heart. Changed me from that day forward."

- KaEcold

What?! She said this to a child?! Why?

Hopefully you've steered clear of her in your adulthood.

After Mom Died

"After my mother died, my first cousin's wife told me that I was no longer a member of the family because I was adopted (as an infant, FYI) and the death of my mother severed my membership in the family. I was 41 when she said this to me."

"For an adopted child—at least for me, fear of rejection is an early childhood trauma you can't escape. I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents."

"When she said that to me I half expected them to rise from the grave to defend me. They loved me, I am secure in that. But the knowledge that she felt that way and nobody else shut her down still hurts."

- CartoonistSpecific75

Understandably! We're sorry you had to deal with such pain.

Family, blood family, is unfortunately not guaranteed to be your biggest support. That's why it's important to remember that you can choose your family. And that's freedom.


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