It is a universally acknowledged truth that kids are master minds of cruelty. They have a sixth sense which allows them to pinpoint the source of insecurity in another human, craft a statement that is as cruel as it is creative, and launch the insult with cold and distant absence of guilt whatsoever.
Unfortunately, Redditors remind us that other adults, even friends, can provide self-esteem battering statements just as bad. Years later, statements like these fork into two distinct paths: the humorous shade offered by hindsight or the profound snowball growing intensity.
Reddit was stocked with both.
TheCrowsNestTV asked, "What is the cruelest thing someone has said to you?"
A Deadpan Slam
"When I was a kid, my best friend was always kind of mean or standoffish with me at school but we hung out a lot just the two of us."
"At some point I confronted him and said, 'you keep doing this, are you embarrassed to be my friend?' He just said 'Yes.'"
-- Stalkachu
Meme Wtf GIFGiphyObjectifying in the Other Direction
"It was a thing in my school where guys would go up to an 'unattractive' girl in a group, in front of everyone, and ask them on a date."
"Just when the girl would start to believe it was real and give a response, the guys would all start laughing and the one who asked would tell her it was just a joke and that, 'no one would ever wanna go out with something like you.'"
"And yes, they would say 'something,' not 'someone.' It hurts yeah."
-- fvck7h15
When the Kids are the Mature Ones
"My son had a liver transplant and has huge scars on his belly. He was playing at our local park where they shoot up water. Great summer fun for young kids. Another parent says, 'they should cover that kid up so we don't have to see it.'"
"Thankfully, another parent spoke up snd said, 'just because that kid's gone through a lot doesn't mean he has to hidden to make you feel comfortable.' I started to breathe evenly and smile."
"Funny thing is, when kids asked him about his scars, my son would just say, 'I had surgery.' Then they would continue playing. Adults were more cruel."
Sociopathic Roasting
"The worst was probably in fifth grade, just after my dad died. The whole school knew, and everyone was being really nice to me except one girl. I believe the exact quote was, 'go suck your dads d*ck. Oh wait you can't, he's dead.'"
"It didn't even hurt my feelings, more of just bewildered me like who says something like that?"
A Most Certain Red Flag
"Ex-wife once told me that she wished my mom had died of the breast cancer that she beat when I was in 2nd grade. She's been in remission for 20+ years now and has always been a sweet, thoughtful and smart lady. I had to leave the house to calm down - and luckily i left the relationship eventually."
-- SandoMann
Priorities...
"'You are caring, smart, treat me well, have your sh!t together, and are great husband/father material, and are a wonderful man to be around. I wish you'd lose 20 lbs. so I could date you.'"
-- hired_g00n
"Dad, it's Boston Pizza. Also, that's Horrible."
"When I was 16 and looking to apply at Boston Pizza which had just opened up in our town, my dad said, 'don't you have to be pretty to be a waitress?'" -- laurieali
"Please don't say parents, for the real word is creeps." -- King_Pecca
A Backhanded Guestimation
"'Guys our age'...Dude was at least 20 years older then me. Yeah, honestly me and my partner had a laugh about it later. But at the time i died a little on the inside." -- anotherDutchdude
"He didn't think of you as older, he thinks of himself as younger." -- Hektikdt
Taking the Long Way to Attraction
"'Your freckles look like you stood behind a screen door and had sh*t flung on you.' This was a neighbor who was looking to hook up. It never happened and I quit talking to him." -- sukiintheshower
"Is this some kind of advanced ninja flirting technique I'm not aware of?" -- UHMWPE
An Out and Out PUNK
"7-year-old cousin: 'Hey derp, how old are you now?'"
"Me: 'I just turned 26.'"
"7-year old: 'You're not a man!'"
"WTF kid...."
-- derpado514
"I'm 21 and my niece is 8, but she considers us to be basically the same age. Makes me feel good when I get sad that my childhood is over." -- brearose
confused confusion GIFGiphyNot Something You Can Just "Try Out'
"My mom said that her life would have been better if I never existed." -- earthling_probably
"To hopefully make you feel better, some people just should never have been parents. It's much more likely she's saying she just never should have had kids because she's not able to handle it." -- Not_A_RedditAccount
Whiplash
"My biological father came back into my life when I was 14 and had a girlfriend. Everything was great for a year until she made him choose between his new family, and me."
"I got a text message on Christmas Day saying 'Father and daughter relationship not working out, all the best for your future. Please dont call me, it will cause me problems.'"
Suddenly, a Snob
"There were years I worked multiple jobs to help support us while my ex was working on her doctorate. Once she had herself a tenure track university position, she let me know I wasn't 'educated enough to be married to a professor' like herself."
"I have my bachelor's degree."
"Well, I found myself sleeping on the sofa for about a week, while looking for an apartment so I could move out. During that time, every morning as she'd greet me with the phrase 'Why haven't you killed yourself yet?'"
At Least an Insult is Attention at All
"Nothing. When my best friend of 20+ years ghosted me, that was the cruelest thing." -- MelissaMiranti
"Wow, that's terrible. I really hate when people don't even have the guts to say why or have an adult conversation instead of ghosting." -- Neilia_Moon
Abusive Control 101
"'No one will love you like I love you because you're uninteresting, boring, & annoying.'"
"Getting past it a day at a time, but I do occasionally find myself apologizing my husband for being 'boring/annoying.'"
-- c0untc*ntula
Severely Out of Touch
"I struggled with anxiety caused bulimia a few years back... One of my best friends (who has some self consciousness issues so she likes unhealthily skinny bodies.) told me after I recovered and gained my healthy weight back that I 'looked better when [I was] bulimic.'"
"....That made me feel so small and empty."
-- izzygirl123
The First 25 Minutes of "Grease"
"9th grade year I met a girl who moved on to my block the week summer break started, we spent almost every day together. We lost our virginity to each other."
"First day of school and she won't talk to me because I'm not on of the 'cool kids.'"
"Destroyed me."
Experimental Snog
"The boy I had a crush on in high school had kissed me and I was pretty excited about possibly dating. When I asked him about it the next day he said he didn't like me in that way."
"I asked why he kissed me then, and he said, 'I needed to make sure I didn't like you.'"
-- Petunia_Fish
A Wild Escalation
"My stepson told me he was glad that my husband and I have fertility problems."
"He was 15 at the time, and pissed that he was in trouble after several of his teachers had contacted us to tell us he wasn't doing his homework or completing schoolwork and assignments."
-- KittikatB
Ewww
"Asked a girl out and just got "ewwww" as a response. So that was cool. A no would've been fine."
"This happened to me too. That's rough bud." :(
-- Trekkimon
michelle obama eww GIFGiphyDearest Mother
My mother told me once that no one nice or decent would ever want me/be able to love me. Crazy how much stuff like this sticks on your relationships
Edit: you guys are amazing people to be willing to share your stories--I'm so sorry all of you have had to experience this nastiness. I hope you're all currently doing well and I appreciate all of you. <3
The Crash
I crashed my motorcycle quite a few years ago now. I was being stupid and didn't have my gear on. So I have some very extensive scars on my arms and legs.
I'm super insecure about them. I've worn long sleeves since they've healed.
Last summer I was feeling good about myself and not caring. So I went to the beach in a bikini.
I was sitting there reading a book when a group of girls behind me starts talking about me.
There were several comments about my appearance but the one that really stuck was, "God, she should just kill herself so we don't have to look at her."
Yeah so much for self confidence that day.
Brutal
I was in a car accident, no harm to me at all. Told the story to a couple people. One literally said, and I quote "I wish you would have died in the accident." it was some idiot from middle school, he hated everyone with a burning passion. He said other things too, such as "your parents are what made the plane fliers on 9/11 do it."
-- Thatisjake
No Yours
I was about 16 and sat on the train next two two preteen girls. The song on my MP3 player switched and therefore i could hear them. One girl pointed at me and said "That is your new boyfriend." the other girl replied "Eeeeww, no yours!"
-- overbread
Can confirm. Girls go through a stage where they can never admit to other girls that they like boys (at least they did 30ish years ago when I was that age. Its weird.
The Uncounted
Had a huge crush on a friend in high school and asked her to a dance, she said no which was fine. Nothing was weird.
Then about a week later she started telling me how upset she was that no one had asked her to the dance and when I brought up I had her response was:
You don't count.
Apparently she thought I had just asked her to be nice or something. When I told her that wasn't the case she still said no but apologized for saying it. Still really hurt though.
-- lonewolf210
He's Out
Not to me directly, but my mum once said "I don't like him anymore" to my sister when I was in clear earshot, so it was meant for me.
It's the context that got me, considering it was all over me not being comfortable enough to go back into school to get a Christmas pudding, and getting so mad at me over something so small overwhelmed me and made me feel like a failure, I guess. Was also through the worst time in my life, which she knew about.
"If I"
"If I were you I'd just freaking kill myself."
Good thing I wasn't suicidal in high school. Same guy ended up running away from home and dying his hair trying to hide from the cops that year, so yeah that dude had issues. We were sorta friends later, I don't know if he even remembers making the comment.
-- verminiusrex
Die Laughing
I was around 15 year old. I was hanging around with my friends and there was this guy who had recently started joining us every once in awhile. He was someone classmate but I don't think he was close to anyone and I thought it was weird that he was hanging out with us as it was hard to see him fit in, there was so little in common.
We rarely ever spoke to each other directly.
But then he once said pretty much out of the blue "If Horredu ever gets a girlfriend I will die by laughter".
Group of friends laughing, they can't help it and someone almost rolling on the floor. Someone agreed between the burst of laughs.
Affected my self-esteem a lot, probably more than I've understood earlier.
Being 26 year old now and still never been in a relationship, I sometimes think they were right.
-- horredu
Pray for your Soul
This will get buried but mine was hands down when a co-worker/decently close acquaintance told me to my face that maybe if I had prayed harder and put more faith in the lord my son wouldn't have died. Witch had worked with me since before I got pregnant, through the genetic dx while still pregnant, his birth, multiple surgeries etc. and knew damn well what the hell happened and still had the gall to say that crap. Mind you this was also like 6 years later and I'd already had two more children, countless hours of therapy, and with one statement she stabbed me in the heart all over.
scared season 1 GIF by The White PrincessGiphyIn a horrid twist of fate - the eldest of her two children was killed in a motorcycle accident about 18 months ago. My heart broke for her and I did reach out to offer my condolences, no parent should ever experience that kind of loss.
But I would a lying hag if I didn't admit that a hateful little voice inside me whispered to my soul 'maybe she shoulda prayed harder.'
-- LFF9002
But She Did
This wasn't really said to me, but it was said to my mom about me. I had admitted to my grandma that there was a girl that we both knew that I had a crush on (I'm a girl). I said it quick so I didn't think she'd catch it. But she did. A while later, she looked my mom dead in the eye and said something like, "It's such a shame. Your daughter WAS so pretty. Such a WASTE." So I'm a shame AND a waste... And if you think she ended there oh hoho!!! You're wrong!!!
She later called my sister EXTREMELY FAT in front of me (I went up against her for that one). And right after we shunned her from our family, I found out there was a chance that she was "watching" my big bro because he, "Reminds her of her dead husband." She did way WAY worse than that to my mom. Even calling my mom a parasite in the middle of a restaurant. I'm glad she left. We almost got kicked out of our home because of her screwed up lies.
Cutting Deep
"Your friend deserved to get stabbed." (Friend got a knife pulled on him in a fight at a party, stabbed him 7 times, critically wounded him and partially paralyzed him for life).
-- akaponokh
Births and Deaths
It wasn't too me, but about me. Everytime I'm around my mom and she has friends or family over she'd always being up how painful giving birth to me was. She said that she was considering giving me up for adoption because I was the most painful out of her 5 other births. (I'm the second oldest) I know she's probably trying to make a joke or something but it gets old when you 13 times a day. And. Sometimes I wish she had given me up for adoption.
Awkward
"You're awkward" - coworker to me in my nervous first few weeks at a new job.
It was small but confirmed my fears that I might not fit in, the anxiety to follow was crushing.
Ended up making plenty of friends at my new job, he isn't one of them.
-- kellogg888
My Sacrifices
My mom told me she was worried I would abuse her and my dad when they got old because I was abusive as a teenager. I agonized over that for a couple years before I finally convinced my parents to go to a therapy sessions with me, where I found out the teenage "abuse" she was referring to was, according to her, me pushing past her roughly once as a teenager and getting too many parking tickets.
I lived to please my parents for most of life, so hearing her accuse me of abuse when I'd sacrificed my own integrity for a long time to make them happy... that really hurt me.
You're not for us
Was approached by a modeling agency once in a shopping centre with my best friends. I was very shocked as I'm quite self conscious at 5ft 11" and very curvy, so it was extremely flattering. Didn't have enough confidence to do anything about it so just left it as a nice memory. My best friend was bragging on my behalf to a group of kids in school the next week and one girl just looked me up and down and said "Oh I didn't know the menswear department of 'Middle aged clothes shop' were looking for models?'... I was 15f and it killed my confidence for years...
Expired Lunch
In middle school a girl found out I had a crush on her and decided that best way to go about dealing with that was telling everyone at lunch how ugly she thought I was because I had acne at the time. Which really sucked. Because I was already super self conscious about it and kind of just a shy person in general.
Was made even worse because it was a small private school. So everyone knew everyone's business and there was no getting away from it. I stopped eating lunch in the lunchroom for all of that year.
It sucked and the whole thing honestly made me feel like crap for years.
As we got older and were in high school, I think she tried to get back on my good side. But she never actually apologized and honestly, that ship had already sailed for me. Too little and way too late.
On the last day of senior year I let all the air out of three of her tires.
-- Slowjams
Mothering
"It's a good thing you can't have kids, you would make a terrible mother."
Also:
"You won't be a real woman until you have children."
-- SalemScout
family
While I was grieving my sister's passing, my mother told me "You need to suck it up because I have it worse than you. I had to bury my own daughter so you need to be helping me instead of focusing on yourself."
I didn't finally get the chance to grieve until I started dating my husband.
-- cjcmommy0123
???????????
It wasn't cruel in the way that it hurt me, but really bothered me. My mom had died a few years prior and was considering getting a tattoo in memory of her. She had always wanted a trinity knot on her shoulder blade and we had even discussed getting matching ones. I told a friend this and said "I can still get it, even though she can't get a matching one because she is dead". My friend responded "you could be close by putting her ashes in a vibrator!"
Like, what the freaking hell.
Seriously GIF by Debby RyanGiphyMy Journey
"I'm so disappointed in you. It's like I don't even know you anymore."
-my mom, after she discovered I had online friends... who I had known for 4 years. God forbid I take a road trip to see them, I guess...
-- _Fengo
Just Be Happy
"Suck it up, other people have it worse."
One of the few times I reached out to talk about my depression with a friend and she said this to me. Took the wind out of my sails, and that was 7-8ish years ago. I haven't spoken to a single soul about my depression since and never will. I don't really talk about how I feel or what I go through. I wear the mask that everything is good.
-- Guerrin_TR
Try to Grow
When I was 12 my family and I went to a farmer's market. This couple was handing out samples and the husband said "Let the boys try some."
I said "I'm a girl."
The wife then yelled at me saying "Well grow some freaking boobs, then you'll look like a girl!!!!!"
Ouch.
-- cocoabean30
Why so Rude?
My ex-bf saw the stretch marks I have on my inner thighs and said it looked like I had been scratched by a bear, even though he perfectly knew how much I was insecure about my physical appearance. Also a girl I knew a year ago used to bully me because she thought it was funny when I got angry, then one day I started to snap back at her rude comments and she told me that I was a horrible person and that I had serious mental issues.
The Disgrace
You're a mistake and an embarrassment. You are a disgrace to this family. -My older brother in a restaurant with my parents watching. They said nothing to this but when I tried to tell him to just shut up I got yelled at. Yeah not only do I make better grades than him I also don't ever get in trouble anywhere except for at home unlike him who is the exact opposite.
You're Nodody
My paternal grandmother: "He looks nothing like his father. He looks like nobody in the family. We call him the (last name) that doesn't look like a (last name)."
Meanwhile I'm a spitting image of my father. At my dad's funeral a coworker drove seven hours to speak at his funeral. I'd never met him before and his first words to me were "you are a clone of your father." Grandma hated my mom so much that she took it out on me.
-- GialloGuy
Thanks for Nothing Ma
"You've always had some excuse for why you did poorly in school" - my dear old mother.
I'm 21 years old & only now getting diagnosed with ADHD because she never believed me. Thanks mom, almost getting kicked out of university was really great.
-- QueenCostco
In his handwriting.
I'm sure there's lots of things worse but this sticks so hard, mainly because I see this person daily at work and have to be polite.
My fiancé passed away this past July. I got a tattoo on my inner forearm of the message he wrote in the last Valentine's card I received from him. In his handwriting. It brings me much comfort. This guy at work, while I was still barely holding it together maybe 4 weeks after the funeral, saw it.
He grabbed my arm, pushed my sleeve up, read it, and announced in front of everyone in the room(50-60 people) "How stupid are you? He's dead. You can't hang onto him. You'll never get anyone to sleep you now. Nobody will want you with the reminder that you loved someone else!"
I immediately melted down, nuclear. A couple of kind souls took me into my office, I'm not sure what was said to him, but he swears to this day he has no idea why I won't speak to him unless I'm forced. Of course he's not brave enough to ask me either.
-- cpbaby1968
That's not True
I did poorly in grade school on language and math, but our grade school actually has a history and geography class and I was always good at them. There was one time that I was the only one that scored the bonus question because I paid attention during class (wasn't in the book).
The teacher gave my test back and we were asked to stay quiet while she hands them out, and I did. When I talked to her afterwards at question-time, I showed my test with the right answer to her and she said, "you wrote it after I handed you the test". And no I didn't, I really really didn't. And I still remember her like, 20 years later still.
-- IsaSilver
End Scene
"I hope that someday you'll hate someone as much as I hate you."
buster keaton end rant GIFGiphyIf you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
People Share Their Alien Abduction Experiences
"Reddit user Churbuddahbread asked: 'People of reddit who have been abducted by aliens. What’s your story?'"
Are we alone as a species in this vast universe?
Could there be life on other planets?
These are questions we've all wondered about.
And truth be told, we probably always will.
Some say they know aliens exist because they've been with them.
They've been taken and interviewed.
Redditor Churbuddahbread wanted to hear from the people who believe they have lived through meeting other life forms, so they asked:
"People of Reddit who have been abducted by aliens. What’s your story?"
I have no alien stories.
Apparently, they don't want me.
I don't want them either.
NO!
alien GIFGiphy"Not sure if this was a dream or not but I remember being in some kind of craft facing towards one of the walls. I felt a presence behind me and was so scared I couldn’t move at all. Then out of nowhere I suddenly felt completely at ease. To my left out of the corner of my eye, I could see a big being that almost looked like a large tardigrade behind some kind of control panel."
"I turned to see another being. (Can’t really remember what this one looked like) but I remember asking if I could ask some questions. I then received a reply which came from within my own head. 'No' And that’s all I remember."
Churbuddahbread
It wasn't there before
"My brother-in-law says he was abducted. Don't know too much except he was out in the woods walking around. He was gone overnight. He never does that without letting somebody know that at least, he's leaving. He was found the next morning completely stunned. On shock. He could barely talk."
"He never really said what happened. He won't talk about it. He said only, that they performed examinations on him. His right foot now has what I can only describe as a birthmark on his right foot. It wasn't there before. That I know!! It wasn't there!! Now he's got a deep purple mark that covers most of his foot.? Wtf??"
Lazy-Lawfulness3472
In the middle of the night...
"They took me in the middle of the night. I was out feeding the cattle under the moonlight and then a big light came over me. The next thing I knew, I was driving down the road talking to what I later realized was my father. Or... the person whose body I am now in’s father. He made a joke about the time being slow and he had seen an episode of XFiles that mentioned that time reverses when aliens abduct so they can drop you off at the same time as they picked you up."
"Except I think they mixed something up because I am not in the same body I left in. I still remember my whole life before but I am 18 years younger in this body so I don't really mind... But a few years after the incident, I went to see if the farm I once lived on was still there, but it took me a while to get there without suspicion. It's gone. Like it never stood. Maybe it was all just a dream."
Biggmamaaa
The sun is up
"One of my old high school friends believes she was abducted when we were in our teens. She said that one evening she was hanging out in bed, drawing in her sketchbook. A pair of lights like headlights on a car caught her eye out the window, but when she looked properly she could see that the lights were higher up above the road than they should have been, and there was no noise."
"The lights continued getting closer to her apartment building and eventually shone right into her window. She blinked, and the next thing she knew, she was lying down in bed under the covers and the sun was coming up."
CosmicJellyroll
Hybrids
"I was genuinely abducted by aliens. I was driving at night on my own down the M62 motorway in the UK around 3 am for a job I was working. The next thing I know, it's 5 am. 2 hours had gone nowhere. I thought I was going or mad at something and when I got home I went to bed."
"Anyways, when in bed I dreamed about what happened and it came back to me. On the alien craft, they put me in a room and I was lying on the floor... Then they put an injection into my arm which was this red, rusty-like liquid. I think this was to monitor me."
"Every few weeks or so I'll wake up in the morning at 5 am and I know I've been back there, but can never remember it. Sometimes I get a feeling that I've been visited or am about to be visited. It's not fun and nobody believes me, but what they're doing is using our genetic makeup to populate other planets with hybrid beings."
iLikeGingerGirlslol
It's always a joke until someone gets abducted by aliens.
Quick as That...
Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"It went from daylight to dark in a blink, my mom walked by where I should have been if I was asleep, but I wasn't there apparently, and I'll never forget that. Maybe it was aliens, never figured it out. When I was 7 or 8, during the summer, mid-day around noon. I'm home sitting by the door, looking into the lagoon waiting for my mom to come home. I blink and it's now nighttime. Quick as that."
"No fatigue, no sleep, just a blink. Hours have gone by and I'm sitting in the same spot, wide awake, except it's dark out. Just a blink. My mom is in the kitchen making food and playing music. When I go in, she asks where I was. I told her, sitting in front of the door waiting for her to come home."
"She didn't believe me and chalked it up to being a kid's joke, she's been home for hours now and assumed I was at my friend's house a couple of houses over. After that, I had a tiny lump on my right shin under my skin. I could roll it around a little with my fingers. It dissolved after about 2 months. If a BB pellet is 4.6 mm, it was probably like 1.3mm."
BYNCody
Therapy
"I actually had a therapist who treated people for their trauma from alien abductions. I’m not kidding and I’m not suggesting I really believed they were abducted. I’m not sure she even did but she seemed to suggest to me that if they felt traumatized by something that happened to them, she would help them."
Turbulent_End_2211
4
"You know I have been saying this since I was about 4. Somebody took me. I've always pointed to a spot on my calf that I've always thought it was a scar from a foreign insertion. But I have zero recollection of anything. And at 4 I was too young to make it up or even know the word alien. But my mom would always say the same thing no matter what, it's a growing pain. We could have been dying and that was her come back."
AssumptionAdvanced58
A Light Sleeper
"Not my story, but my Father in law swears he was abducted on a camping trip in the Northern Appalachians with about 4 other people. They hiked up near a lake and set up a campsite, and set up camp. He says they all remember swimming, then eating dinner but no one remembers cleaning up camp or going into their tents."
"They woke up about 10 yards away from their original site, in the exact formation that they had set up the camp, but all of the little stuff was in the same spot and there was no fire in the middle of the original area but not in the new one. They pulled out a measuring tape my FIL had in his backpack from work and measured the distance between the stakes of the tent poles and it was the EXACT distance between all of the tent poles from where they originally were and the new area."
"And before anyone says anything, my FIL is a super light sleeper( according to my MIL) and doesn't drink or do drugs, has no history or symptoms of mental illness, and was the first one awake. He still refuses to go hiking on that trail to this day, it's an easy hike so he isn't trying to be lazy and get out of it."
preggomuhegggggo
Fascinations
"I believe I have been abducted multiple times. Probably about once every two or three years since I was eight. I have been examined, but nothing invasive was ever done and the extraterrestrials seemed genuinely curious about humans. More often it is just an interview via telepathy about how I am feeling and how things are going."
"The last abduction was about six months ago. I remember waking up, seeing figures through my bedroom window make their way into my home, never waking my girlfriend or dogs, and leading me out to their craft. One even seemed fascinated with one of my dogs, but I sort of thought how angry and hurt I would be if anything happened to that dog and he backed away."
Termi89
Still Shaken
James Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Not my story, it's my dad's, he gets a little shaky and doesn't like talking about it when it's brought up. When he was about 15 he and his friend did the childhood tradition of camping in the backyard. Everything seemed pretty much normal and they went to bed at around midnight. Shortly after falling asleep, they both woke up in a state of extreme disorientation and mental fog 2.5 miles away from his house in a empty grass field."
"When he checked his watch it was 4 AM with no recollection of what happened those 4 hours. There was no alcohol or drugs involved. He never let me camp in our backyard growing up so I have a slight distaste for our extraterrestrial neighbors."
UrbanDowntown
This is why alien movies still freak me out.
I can't do them, just in case.
Do you have any stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Though we may not like to think about it too much, we can all agree that living is getting more expensive by the week, and it's more important than ever to have a good, stable job.
But there are some jobs out there that have a questionable salary, though not in a bad way.
Redditor FlintTheDad asked:
"What's a job that pays extremely well for no reason?"
Slot Machine Repair
"Repairing slot machines. I'm currently at $32 per hour and the benefits package and vacation time are incredible. Some days are busy, but last year I managed to read a few books on shift."
- Ok-Sign5282
Support for Tech Support
"My job doesn't make six figures, but I'm overly compensated for making sure Tech Support doesn't cuss the customer out and pointing out what they could have done better."
"I'm not even the supervisor, I'm just the judgy f**k sitting in the corner office."
- judasmachine
Questionable Talent
"I worked as a recruiter for Microsoft during the pandemic. There was such a fever pitch for tech talent that we were basically throwing $175,000 checks per year at anyone with a pulse and a GitHub."
"We have a lot of amazing tech talent, but some of the people we hired had no business being there. Like, literally just twiddling their thumbs and handling one or two small kanban-type projects each week while reaping almost $200k a year. All of the big tech firms did."
"If you're wondering why they all laid so many people off, that's a big part of it. New hires now are being offered much smaller paychecks."
- Agatha_Penderghast
Management Consultant
"My job as a 'Management Consultant.'"
"I earn six figures and my only real task is to listen to my boss whine. That's it."
- BadAlphas
The Football Game
"Chase Daniel has been in the NFL for 14 seasons, has thrown 273 passes, started five games, and made 41 million dollars."
"Your answer is third-string quarterback."
- bargman
Mail Delivery
"Mail carrier for Canada Post. I make $230 a day (wages are based on route value) and I was home before 9 AM on Friday. I started at 7 AM."
"Mondays are longer, and Christmas can suck, but for 10 months of the year, I work a max of four hours a day. Unionized. Benefits that are better than Blue Cross and I pay $15 per month for PTO, personal days, etc. It's the best job I've ever had."
- skylla05
Genius Translation
"I once learned of a guy making 300k translating genius talk to others."
"He would talk to the genius engineers. They would tell him their ideas, since they are too socially awkward to do it themselves, and he would explain their idea to the rest of the team."
"That sounded like a great gig."
- SquirrelYogurt
Night Shifts at the Gym
"I get paid just under $80k working nights at a gym. Get all my work done in less than two hours and can basically do whatever for the other six. Watch football. Scroll Reddit. Whatever."
"Not awesome money but excellent for what I do."
- Human_Alternative_
Microphone Performances
"The 'let's get ready to rumble' guy and his brother, the 'it's time' guy, both make millions for holding a mike and saying a few lines."
- YouPeopleMakeNoSense
Birthday Party Clowns
"The average clown salary in the United States is $63,000 per year."
- mimzaroo
Lawn Mowing
"Honestly? Lawn mowing. I make ridiculous money running a landscaping and lawn care business (5%/95%). It’s hard to overestimate how much people will pay to avoid physical labor."
- SlothfulWhiteMag
9-1-1 Operator
"I'm a 911 operator and make $36 an hour with no degree needed."
"I mean, I do have to listen to some pretty f**ked up s**t, but luckily I've been emotionally dead for over a decade now so it works out well for me."
- Razvee
Medical Administration
"Medical administrator. I know a married couple with the same med admin bachelor's degree, and a one a year online master's in medical admin. They walked out of college into six-figure jobs over ten years ago and now make ~$500k each."
"I can't tell if they actually do anything for the hospital. During the pandemic, they took advantage of healthcare loans they didn't have to pay back. They also would post all sorts of (hashtag) front-line healthcare workers' s**t during the pandemic... from their second vacation home because they worked remotely the whole time. Scabs."
- secderpsi
Event Technology
"Event technology. 75,000 dollars per year to set up projectors and microphones. Most of the day consists of waiting to break everything down after the event. Lots of downtime, like a lot. I was able to finish my Associate's degree with all the downtime."
- Rock33A
Optics Retailer
"Optics."
"You can be a normal retail sales associate and sell eyeglasses at LensCrafters and make up to $29.00 plus commission plus paid time off, sick leave, retirement, health and dental insurance, and free annual eyewear with a high school diploma."
- JustSomeApparition
While some of these jobs are likely more work than these Redditors suggested, it's cool to see that there are jobs out there that pay more than the work required, which is a refreshing opposite to the many jobs in the world where people work way too much for far too little money.
Phones are a blessing and a curse. Sure, the world is at our fingertips—but they can also get us into a lot of trouble. Take, for example, these phone moments gone horribly wrong. From disturbing, creepy calls to notifications that revealed dark secrets, these stories are enough to make us want to drop our phones in the toilet and then leave 'em there.
1. Machine Reading
man driving carPhoto by Hareez Hussaini on UnsplashI was riding in the car with a co-worker when my wife texted. I told Siri to read it. Huge mistake. My wife texted to yell at me about leaving dingleberries in the shower drain.
2. Beyond The Gyno Veil
woman holding phonePhoto by Daria Nepriakhina 🇺🇦 on UnsplashOh boy. This was the most harrowing thing I've been through. This was how I found out a girl I was dating had end-stage terminal cancer. She was on the phone with me as she walked into her “gynecology appointment”, then proceeded to put her phone in her purse, but I think she mis-tapped or something.
I listened to a 30-minute conversation that was to the effect of: “You have four months to live. There are no treatment options”. She'd been aware of it for three years but refused treatment because essential oils can cure any malady, am I right???
3. Thin Wall, Huge Separation
woman using laptop while sitting on chairPhoto by Brooke Cagle on UnsplashMy fiancée at the time—three months from the wedding—used to use my laptop all the time for social media and stuff while she was watching TV. She comes to me one night and says she thinks stuff isn't working out and that we should talk about whether we should really continue. I'd not felt any problems that I didn't just dismiss as wedding planning/financial stress. So I explained that and she said she wanted to sleep in the spare room that night to think things through, to which I agreed.
I wasn't very happy with it at all, so I decided to go get my device and watch some YouTube before bed. She had her Facebook left open on my user account—completely normal. Then I see a notification from her ex-colleague.
She was live-sexting him with just a thin wall between us. I instantly knew I'd never forgive that, got dressed, quietly snuck away into my car and drove to my mum’s. She didn't even realize I knew for days. Didn't speak to her at all after that. All communication was through her own parents, who were devastated.
4. In What Reality
woman in brown shirt covering her facePhoto by Fa Barboza on UnsplashMy boyfriend left his phone on the sofa while he excused himself to use the restroom. A text popped up, and I automatically looked. We had great respect for each other’s privacy, so, of course, I didn’t read it, but I did see the name. He came out of the bathroom, and I asked who “Jane” was. He had never mentioned her.
“My niece,” he answered. He came from a large family, and I couldn’t keep track of all of his nieces and nephews. We went back to the movie we were watching, and I never thought of it again. We had a wonderful relationship. The kind of love that’s made up to sell books and films. It was the most real thing in my life.
I had been twice divorced, and it was only with him that I learned what real love is. My own parents really didn’t love me. I wasn’t just happy with my life; I was ecstatic. Nothing else mattered because I was loved. It was five years of absolute bliss. I agreed to work late one day and was texting him during my break.
He told me our plans for the night, which were going to dinner with his best friend. He said he would tell him we’d be a bit late. I had to go back to work. I got home that night to find the best human being I had ever known was gone forever after trying to get into the shower. It was a massive heart attack, they said.
The only thing I remember is screaming and crying. It couldn’t end this way. He was far too young and healthy. It’s been almost two years later, and I am still in shock. Two days after he was gone, I got a message from “Jane.” Jane was the woman in his other life, as in he had two lives—another home, another woman, etc.
I still don’t understand how this was possible, but she had definite proof. Proof that she shoved in my face. She didn’t know about me either, so I felt bad for her. She was everything he couldn’t stand. I’ll never get over this. I’m just an empty shell now. I quickly stopped messaging with Jane as I could not take it.
All I remember about his infidelity is that text message. He’d never lied to me, so why wouldn’t I believe him? Now, I have no idea what was a lie and what was the truth. I thought losing him was as bad as it could get. Boy, was I wrong! What he did doesn’t make me love him any less even though sometimes I wish it did.
5. Earth To Dad
white, red, and black Jyoti Travels bus passing the streetPhoto by Indrajeet Choudhary on UnsplashOne time, back when my dad used to be a coach bus driver, he left his phone on after calling my sister. It was in his pocket while he was still on the job. The radio was on inside the bus and my sister, who was still listening on the other end of the call, could hear that it was playing our local station.
My dad often listened to this station and phoned in for quizzes and anecdotes. Then my dad heard something super strange. My sister had called up the station and managed to get the radio host to make a live air announcement to tell my dad to turn off his phone.
6. Over-Staying Their Welcome?
man and woman sitting on bench facing seaPhoto by Matt Bennett on UnsplashMy in-laws are EXTREMELY religious, and we just got them their first iPhone—the first smartphone they’ve ever had. In the middle of me showing her parents how WeatherBug works—we were outside, wife was not—she texted me a spread-eagle shot of herself from the bedroom with the words "I can’t wait for them to leave so I can literally go to town on you in bed". Let’s just say things got very awkward.
It may have been small as heck on the banner, but they were both wearing their glasses and paying very close attention. Nevertheless, not a single word was said about it and they left 15 minutes later.
7. Demon Slayer
white ceramic toilet bowl with coverPhoto by Giorgio Trovato on UnsplashI'm a dispatcher. got a call from a gentleman reporting an issue with his toilet. For whatever reason, it was a bit hard for me to understand exactly what the problem was, except that it definitely involved his toilet. After a little while, I determined to the best of my ability that the toilet was overflowing and he didn't know what to do.
Although plumbing issues are absolutely not an appropriate reason for calling an emergency number, it wasn't unheard of. To a certain extent, I can understand the thought process and people have certainly called it for less. After a bit more talking, however, I realized that he had not called about a plumbing issue. It wasn't water that was coming out of his toilet, but demons.
The demons were spilling out of his toilet and he needed help. I put in a complaint for law enforcement and kept him on the phone. It was a busy evening and the officers wouldn't be able to get to him for a few minutes, so I asked if he could close the toilet lid. He said he could and he did. I asked him if this stopped the demons from coming out of his toilet and he told me it did. This made him calmer and I was able to release the call.
8. Missing No Detail
a woman with a surprised look on her facePhoto by engin akyurt on UnsplashI was heading to my school’s office of career services to have my resume reviewed. I got a couple of texts from a guy vividly describing what he wanted to do with me, but I didn’t open my messages since I was thinking about the meeting. I used my laptop to show my resume. The career services woman started reading it over.
She was giving me some feedback, and the notifications I didn’t clear on my phone from the texts all popped up on my screen. The notifications were there for a couple of seconds and she definitely saw them. As my face burned and I turned bright red, she just primly said, “Now those aren’t the “skills” we’d list on your resume, now are they?” Not only was I mortified, but this middle-aged lady also had to go and roast me too. It was the most excruciating hour of my life.
9. Time Is Money
orange and white medication pillPhoto by Christina Victoria Craft on UnsplashA patient called and left a voicemail for a refill on his prescription. He thought he hung up, but he didn’t. Instead, he proceeded to negotiate a price with someone for the refill he had just requested.
10. Woman Overboard
black ip desk phone on black wooden tablePhoto by Julian Hochgesang on UnsplashA colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of two or three managers plus about 25 sales representatives, only for everyone to suddenly go quiet. One person told him the meeting was canceled and he could drop the call, as they were just chatting about sales stuff. He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line. That's how he found out the truth.
They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman. They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive screw-up that would cost the company a ton of money and make it look like it was her fault so that she would get fired. The idiots even did a little "are we all in agreement" roll call at the end.
We worked in a call center, so his end of the call was recorded. Within a week, every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced.
11. Cheating Thievery
100 us dollar billPhoto by Nathan Dumlao on UnsplashI was borrowing my boyfriend's computer to send him some pictures from his computer to his phone. In the upper corner, it was non-stop messaging from girls. I clicked on one, and she sent pictures. I found out he was sending money to women. My money. Several hundred dollars.
12. Honesty Is The Best Policy
man holding telephone screamingPhoto by Icons8 Team on UnsplashI once worked as a secretary in an office that for some reason got pocket-dialed a lot. During one such occasion, I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees. The employee said, “Well what the heck do you expect me to do"? The boss's response was legendary. "Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping with your sister, you would be out of here right now”.
13. I Hope You Were Taking Notes
turned on LED projector on tablePhoto by Alex Litvin on UnsplashIt wasn't me, but my professor used to have his laptop hooked up to the projector up in front of the class. While he was going through a presentation one day, a text popped up on his screen from a woman and all it said was "I have herpes.” He stopped connecting his laptop to the projector after that.
14. Surprise Features
yellow Volkswagen carPhoto by Rahul Bhogal on UnsplashI moved to Japan a few years ago, and early one day, I was at a market and saw a tanuki statue with its junk on display. I took a picture and thought it’d be funny to send my brother a message reading "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" then send it. Halfway around the world, my brother was doing some late evening car shopping.
He’d recently been in an accident and totaled his car so was in the market for a new one. He’d handed the salesman his phone so he could see pictures of the damage, and the guy was looking through them when the words "UNSOLICITED DICK PIC!" showed on the screen. The guy nearly dropped the phone trying to shove it back.
15. Think Of The Children
woman in white button up shirt leaning on blue wallPhoto by Nivedita Singh on UnsplashI once went to a friend's house to borrow her phallus-shaped cake pans for a bachelorette party. We sat there for a few minutes talking about them. She had two different sized pans, so there were some jokes told…then I noticed the most mortifying thing. I was sitting on my phone and had pocket-dialed the Child Welfare Provincial Emergency line.
It was on speed dial because I worked for a Children’s Aid Society at the time. It was so awkward.
16. Bad Timing
a man is holding his head with his handsPhoto by Bansah Photography on UnsplashMy best friend in high school was in the process of being grounded and having his phone taken away, and as he was handing over his phone to his mom he got a text from me that said "Hey, I found your mom's bedroom toy" accompanied with a picture of a medieval battering ram. He told me that they both saw it right as the transaction was taking place, then held each other’s gaze silently for what he described as an eternity.
17. Learning Bad News
girl sitting on chairPhoto by Patricia Prudente on UnsplashOne day in high school, my history teacher brought her 4-year-old daughter on one of the last days of school when we were doing practically nothing. The teacher handed her daughter her iPad so she could play, and a few other students and I were talking to and playing with the daughter and showing her games on the iPad.
My teacher must have had her iMessage set up on the iPad and forgot because it kept getting texts from her husband such as, "She's just a friend," and, "Well maybe we need to finally go through with it and end this once and for all." I had to turn on do not disturb.
18. Troubleshooting
man using IP phone inside roomPhoto by Berkeley Communications on UnsplashI work with a guy who used to work at an IT helpdesk. He made a habit of muting himself and very aggressively cussing out whoever it was he was on the phone with, then unmuting himself and acting as if nothing happened. I knew at some point he was going to miss that mute button. One day I’m on a conference call with him, another company, and another individual at the director level within our company for some troubleshooting.
After a bit, we decided to call it a day and reconvene in the morning. Suddenly, we heard him unleash a string of loud expletives followed by silence. The director said, “Excuse me”? After a brief second he dropped off the call and we apologized on his behalf. But it didn't end there. He came in the next morning with an immaculate story about how he spilled hot coffee on his leg and had to drop his pants outside his car.
He showed everybody in the office this massive burn mark on his leg. The interesting thing is that he had been on this call with us for about four hours, away from his home, and in his car this whole time with no access to a fresh pot of coffee. If there was coffee in his possession, it was very likely cold by this point. My guess is he realized he had messed up, so he went home and staged an injury to avoid persecution, but we’ll never know.
19. The Elephant In The Room
gray elephants performing on circusPhoto by Becky Phan on UnsplashAn old woman called, extremely confused, because she said that there was an elephant in her back garden. I question her but she is insistent that there is a fully grown elephant in her garden. She’s frightened—probably because she thinks there is a giant elephant in her back garden. The immediate assumption is that this woman may have dementia.
An officer is sent to do a welfare check on the poor woman. When he got to her house, she let him inside and took him through to the kitchen to look out into her garden and, yep, there was an elephant, and it was eating her plants. The officer called for backup. Turns out there was a circus relatively nearby and the elephant had escaped overnight.
20. Just Like The French
mcdonalds fries in red mcdonalds fries cupPhoto by Mak on UnsplashI had this roommate in my sophomore year of college, and we had a very weird, close personal relationship. I was in my Spanish professor’s office hours, and she was waiting for me at the cafeteria to have lunch together. Just before going in, I texted her and asked her to get me some fries, and then I turned off my phone.
I was showing my professor my paper on my laptop forgetting that I had iMessage on my laptop. A message from her came in, and I’ll never forget the look on his face: “I’ll get you fries but only if you sensually feed them to me while you call me daddy,” That was my last time visiting his office hours!
21. Of Angels and Demons
woman's facePhoto by Danie Franco on UnsplashI had a job where I was in the position to write-off a substantial phone bill because the customer said her mother was dying overseas. She said her mother had dementia and needed to hear things in her daughter’s voice to believe anything, including the doctor’s instructions. She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, then she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less.
She was right about that. I wrote off the entirety of the phone bill. She cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and went on and on about how people like me are angels sent from heaven. After we were done I wished her a good evening and she obviously thought the call had ended. She turned to someone and said in a perfectly normal voice, “Well, that worked”!
22. So That’s What You Really Think Of Me, Huh?
white and blue yacht on sea under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Alina Kacharho on UnsplashI was with a group of friends and this person gave me their number. I often save people's names with a detail that reminds me of who they are—such as James From Chicago, for example. So this person was talking nonstop about their yacht when I met them. So I wrote something like "Gary Hasayacht" as their name in my contacts. Anyway, he sent me a text but it didn't go to my phone for a while because we had a bad signal. Then it popped up when my phone was in clear view right in front of me.
He sees the text, and his name as it's listed on my phone, and then goes “You know, it's really not that big of a yacht”...I wanted to sink into the floor, he definitely thought I was hitting on him and/or a gold digger.
23. Guest Again
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt sitting beside man in white dress shirtPhoto by Sebastian Coman Photography on UnsplashMy sister-in-law was staying with me for a week, which I didn’t really want. My sister knew about it and messaged me, “How are you dealing with (her name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?” My sister-in-law was using my tablet at that time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since.
24. Silent As A Fish
boy in gray shirt using black laptop computerPhoto by Thomas Park on UnsplashMy daughter's school had an author come on a Zoom call to do a reading of a book called The Pout-Pout Fish. The school wanted to get the kids in on the reading, so the teachers set it up so that the kids would join in towards the end. They rehearsed it as such: “Okay, everyone, on the count of three, we'll say ‘blub blub blub’” and proceeded to read the book.
When they got to the part where they wanted the kids to join in it went something like this: “Okay, everyone, on the count of three. One...two..." and whoever was in charge of the meeting unmuted 300 children at once at the count of two. It was chaos. Imagine 300 children screaming “BAAAAHHHAAA BLUUUUBB AAAAAAAAHHHHHH SKKKKRREEEEEE FFFIIIISSSHHHHHH BBLLLUUUUUUBBBB” until they immediately muted everyone again.
25. Perfect Date
people inside building sitting and eatingPhoto by Eric Tompkins on UnsplashOne day, I met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well. We were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour, I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying, "Today's the day! You're ovulating!" I swiped it away quickly.
I don’t think he got a good look at it, but I was still worried he'd think I was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that.
26. Kiss And Tell
a close up of a magazine on a tablePhoto by Doyoun Seo on UnsplashI accidentally pocket-dialed someone and left about a two-and-a-half-minute voicemail of my son and me badly singing “Kiss” by Prince. But I had made an even more fatal error. See, the person I called was a DJ, who then turned it into a five-minute song mix. It was given to someone I worked with and eventually it made the rounds.
27. A Bit Of A Mess
dog's facePhoto by Milli on UnsplashA Hangouts notification popped up on the screen while the new boss was standing behind me to train me on a new program. The message from my husband asked, "How's the Pooper?" I was so focused on the task that she saw it before me. I only noticed when she collapsed to the floor uncontrollably laughing. I read it and immediately lost it too.
In tears from laughing, we were frantically talking over each other. She was trying to apologize for the unprofessional reaction, and I was trying to explain that Pooper was our dog's nickname because he was getting over a bout of diarrhea! The rest of the office was so confused!
28. Fluent Sarcasm
silver iMac with keyboard and trackpad inside roomPhoto by Carl Heyerdahl on UnsplashA couple of decades ago I was at a meeting with a few BizDev guys from a Japanese company we collaborated with. At the end of one of the design sessions, one of them said something to the others in Japanese and one of our artists who looked the part of a large, late-90s rapper responded in fluent Japanese. The meeting stopped, they stared, then asked for a few minutes alone.
Apparently, the exchange was: "I hate working with these guys, why do we continue this"? Trev, the rapper, said, "Of course you do. I mean, just look at us" or something to that effect. Ahh, memories.
29. Generational Problems
woman in white top wearing eyeglassesPhoto by RepentAnd SeekChristJesus on UnsplashI was showing my grandma pictures. She chuckled and quickly gave me back the phone. I saw that my husband had texted me, and my stomach dropped: It said, "I hate it when I'm pooping and my junk touches the water. Big junk problems." We laughed, but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his "big junk problems."
30. How To Lose 150 Pounds In One Day
a man holding his stomach with his handsPhoto by Towfiqu barbhuiya on UnsplashIn the early days of Facebook, my former father-in-law was just starting to discover it and connect with old friends. He was having fun seeing who gained weight, who got divorced, who’s a millionaire now, and so on. One guy he connected with gave him his phone number, so my father-in-law called him. The guy didn’t answer, so he left a message.
He said something like, “Hey Bill, it’s been a while. Just wanted to catch up. Give me a call back”, then he hit the end button and jokingly adds, “and I heard you got fat”! He looked down and to his horror the call was still active and recording the message. It probably sounded like, “….and I heard you got fat!….oh no! Oh my God, it didn’t hang up. Oh no, it’s still recor….click”.
To my knowledge, Bill never returned that call.
31. Want You Back
person in white long sleeve shirt holding black smartphonePhoto by Kelli McClintock on UnsplashA notification from a story app I play popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone and said something like, "Mike misses you! Come back and play!" or something like that. Of course, all he did was pull the drop-down menu down to see the full notification and laugh. He teased me about it for hours.
32. Budding Bromance
red chevrolet crew cab pickup truckPhoto by Mary B on UnsplashA few years ago a guy was on the phone with my boss while we were in his work truck. He had the speakers on and I could hear everything. The guy goes to sign off and out of habit from talking to his kids he said, “Okay, love you. Bye”. But this is what made the moment perfect: My boss didn’t skip a beat and replied, “Love you, too, brother. Bye”.
33. Get The Picture
people standing in front of white wallPhoto by Jimmy Jin on UnsplashI was working at an Apple store as a Genius and was helping an older woman with her phone. This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s, as sweet as could be, and was having some minor problems with her phone. So, she handed me her phone and just as she did, a message popped up with a picture of a toilet full of poo.
The message read, “How many times do I have to tell you to flush the stupid toilet?!” Not knowing really sure what to do, I gave it back and told her she had a message. She took the phone, half smiled, closed the message, and handed it back telling me, “Sorry about that, sweetheart, my daughter can be a bit of a jerk.”
34. Karen Mode Enabled
red and white leather padded chairPhoto by Sam Moghadam Khamseh on UnsplashI once got a call from one of my three least favorite patients at a dental office. Her tone was always accusatory, even when she was calling to ask if we were open that day. After we hung up, I saw her call again on the caller ID.
I couldn’t pick up because I was now talking to another patient in person. Then I noticed line one (her line) is on for a long time…like she’s leaving a...five-minute message? I check my voicemail and indeed, I have a long message of her walking around a grocery store with her daughter.
She had pocket-dialed me. I listened to the whole thing. She was trash-talking our office, but the thing is she kept outlining how we went above and beyond: “Oh, they think the problem is resolved just because they called me back three times and I didn’t answer after I didn’t text them back”.
It was clear we were giving a ton of effort to this patient and she was unhappy anyway. She thought it made us look bad. About a year, later she finally transferred to another dentist. They asked for records and I sent X-rays and such. Eventually, she filed a complaint against that dentist.
I don’t know why. Anyway, we were asked to provide our records to the state board. When that happens you dig up everything you possibly can or it can look like you’re hiding something. I knew just what to do. Luckily, I had saved that voicemail, included it in an mp3, and sent it down on a thumb drive with everything else.
I don’t know if they even listened to this woman needlessly complaining about excellent service, but I do know her complaint was dropped by the state board.
35. Please Don’t Fill ‘Er Up
person crying beside bedPhoto by Claudia Wolff on UnsplashI had a lady call who was sobbing so hard I could barely understand her. I determined it wasn't a medical issue, but she wasn't making much sense through the sobbing. I finally got her to calm down a little so that she could relay what the issue was. She said that she was at a full-serve gas station (I didn't even know those existed anymore).
She told me that the attendant had pumped too much gas into her car, but she had only asked for $20 and they had filled her tank. Then she broke down sobbing again. I asked her if the attendant was being rude or if they were threatening her (because I still couldn't figure out what the crying was all about). She said, "No, the attendant apologized and they gave me a receipt for the gas."
“OK,” I said, “Then what is the issue?” She burst into tears again and said that she was afraid they would chase her down if she tried to leave and say that she had stolen the gas. I went over what the attendant said to her again, and that clearly the attendant acknowledged that it was a mistake, so she was free to leave.
She was still sobbing when I said I had to let her go because this was not a matter for us. The very next call I got came in on the non-emergency line and it's the attendant from the gas station. She's super worried about the lady having the meltdown over getting at least $20 in free gas. The attendant was pretty sure that the lady wasn’t fit to drive due to all of the tears.
The attendant was just as baffled as I was over the lady's reaction to free gas.
36. The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
white smartphone near laptopPhoto by Rahul Chakraborty on UnsplashI was invited to my friend's house for a girls night. My friend has a kid and when I arrived it was already past his bedtime, so I decided not to ring the doorbell but to call my friend on her mobile and ask her to let me in. I dial and then...nothing.
I wait and wait for the call to go through, but nothing happens. Okay, then. I hang up and try to get my friend's attention by gently knocking. It works, she lets me in, and we begin drinking. Shortly after, my friend gets a voicemail and listens to it. She goes pale, swears, and plays it for all of us.
It's some pretty loud heavy breathing. The sound of someone getting it on, basically. Gross. We're all pretty freaked out, wondering who would do something like that, and if they called her phone on purpose or if it was just some random dialing a random number.
After much discussion, she decides to use the "call this number back" option, and as she is too spooked to talk to whoever might be on the other end, I bravely volunteer, prepared to cuss out some pervert for messing with my friend. You can guess where this is going.
She hands me the phone, having already dialed. Everyone is waiting with bated breath and my heart is beating like crazy. It rings, rings…And my own phone on the table starts ringing! Turns out that when I was waiting in front of the door, completely out of breath after having biked there for 30 minutes and then climbed four flights of stairs, the call did in fact go through to her voicemail.
My heavy breathing sounds remarkably like getting it on.
37. Can I Take A Message?
silver imac on white tablePhoto by N.Tho.Duc on UnsplashI was using my roommate's desktop Mac, and any notification you get on your iPhone will appear on-screen on all of your other Apple devices. I was on the computer in his bedroom while he was in the kitchen getting a snack, and he received a phone call from an unknown number. I saw the notification pop up on his screen.
I had an option to answer the call for him. I thought it would be funny if I took the call before he could answer it on his phone meaning he would have to run through to his bedroom where I would be silently laughing myself to an early grave. I clicked to answer expecting it to be some kind of cold-call, but it wasn’t.
That voice on the other end, amplified by my roommate's gratuitous speaker setup, went, “Hello. This is official business.” My soul then left my body. I absolutely cannonballed out of his room making the most apologetic eye contact I have ever made with a human being. He’d been caught in a “traffic incident” while out.
They got his contact details from the dashcam footage of his registration plate. They were calling him in for some questioning. It was a wonderfully devious experience, for which I was absolutely not prepared, and we have never spoken of it since.
38. That’s Wassup
white and gray concrete buildingPhoto by Giovanna on UnsplashWhen I was a college exchange student in Germany I asked my mom to call my home university's housing department on my behalf to inquire about my assigned dorm room for the next school year. You couldn't book online back then and their telephone hold times were legendarily long. To call the university from Germany was way too expensive, so my mom called on my behalf.
She explained that I was abroad on exchange, but when the lady put her on hold to check on my assignment, she didn't mute the phone. My mom heard, “This lady is calling for her daughter. When are these parents going to make these kids grow up and manage their own lives"?
She then returned and told my mom that I didn't get my first or second building request, completely unaware that my mom had heard her. Guess who got their first building and room pick upon return?
39. Friends Are A Blessing
black and yellow smartphone casePhoto by Denis Cherkashin on UnsplashIn high school, my friends and I started this thing where we gave each other funny contact names in our phones based on inside jokes. My high school friends’ contact names are things such as Baby America, Sugar Mama, and even weirder names. When we were juniors, there was a girl who was obsessed with a friend.
This led to me changing his contact name to “Booty Lord” with some rather suggestive emojis following it. Everything was fine and dandy until a few months later, when I had forgotten about it. I was applying for a leadership position in a club where I was a member and was required to have two letters of recommendation.
For the second letter, I asked one of my teachers, who was a very conservative man in his late 70s, if he could write one for me. Being a lazy man, he told me to write the letter myself with all the things I wanted him to say in it. Then he’d sign. After I finished writing it, I handed him my phone to let him read it.
I needed him to approve it before I printed it out. About 45 seconds after I gave him my phone, he, very loudly and incredulously, said, “Booty Lord?” and gave me a horrified look and shoved the phone back into my hands. That was hard to explain.
40. A Creature Of Habit
woman wearing eyeglassesPhoto by Mosoianu Bogdan on UnsplashDuring one of my cold calls at a call center, I was speaking to a seemingly very sweet if not a little sad-sounding old lady. She very politely told me something like, "No, I don't think so, it's just not a good time". We said our goodbyes, but as I'm navigating my software to hang up I realize she was still on the phone. Then it got really creepy.
I hear her walk a few paces, presumably to a sink where the faucet starts to run, and then she begins talking to herself. She repeats only that one phrase on a loop as if she's rehearsing it: "No I don't think so, it's just not a good time". She said it over and over in the same cadence and tone, for roughly two minutes before the creepiness got the better of my curiosity.
41. Sorry, Mom
a tablet computer sitting on top of a tablePhoto by David Švihovec on UnsplashMy roommate’s mom visited and we decided to go to lunch. While waiting, my roomie took out her iPad. We started playing Sorry. She didn't think of how all her devices were linked because a, "u wanna bang," text notification came on her screen. That was mortifying enough—but what came next was so much worse: A thumbnail of the dude’s junk. Sorry indeed.
42. Let Them Eat Cake
six teal icing cupcakes with sprinklesPhoto by Brooke Lark on UnsplashI work in a hospital and last week the operator was having a conversation with someone at 3:00 am. She did not realize it was broadcast over the entire hospital PA system. The conversation went like this: “I can’t believe they gave those nurses stupid cupcakes for nurses week. They should have gotten a bonus instead”.
I just about peed my pants laughing, but you know what? That lady was spot on.
43. Picture Perfect Parenting
turned on gold iphone 6Photo by Sara Kurfeß on UnsplashMy father-and-law and I were looking at pictures on my phone. My wife texted me, and the banner on the top of the screen read, "I've been a bad girl. I need a spanking…or maybe just a hard pounding?" Dude looked at me. I answered, "What kind of daughter did you raise?" He did not laugh as hard as I think he should have.
44. Beyond Tasteless
woman in black headphones holding black and silver headphonesPhoto by Charanjeet Dhiman on UnsplashOne time I got a call from some lady at a call center, and from her voice you could tell she was a hefty type of gal —she was the heavy breathing type. Anyway, the call ended but I didn’t press end since I assumed they would. They didn’t. I could hear this lady talking to her coworkers about fried liver and onions.
The way she talked and gushed over it made it sound so lewd. It was disgusting. She said she has it at least once a day as her meal. She even made slurping sounds followed by some type of moaning. I’ve never felt so disgusted in my life listening to someone describe food.
45. She Who Shall Not Be Named
brown rotary dial telephone in gray painted roomPhoto by Annie Spratt on UnsplashMy grandfather was once on the phone with his mother while his mother's sister was sitting beside her. When his mother went to hang up she said, “Love you, bye” as normal, but she forgot to hang up. It went from normal to tragic in an instant. The sister said, “You don’t really love him do you”?
To which his mother said, “No, not at all". Unfortunately, she outlived all her kids, but she passed on last year and I still refuse to call her my great-grandmother.
46. Did You Want Something?
two women laughing and holding a smartphonePhoto by Shingi Rice on UnsplashMy boyfriend has a friend that I have always suspected is in love with him. Once, she was showing me something on her phone, and a text from her mom popped up saying, “I still don’t understand why you can’t get with [bf’s name].” We pretended it didn’t happen.
47. The Math Ain’t Mathing
blue and white train under white clouds during daytimePhoto by Vadim Artyukhin on UnsplashOn my 21st birthday, I stupidly drank myself into oblivion. At the end of the night, I staggered over to the skytrain where there was this glorious 10-foot-tall stone abacus. Naturally, one's first instinct while under the influence is to play with an object of such wonder. It absolutely crushed my hand and broke through my fingernail.
But do I need a doctor? No way! I sauntered onto the train and proceeded to bleed profusely. A stranger handed me a glove to wrap around the wound and the rest of the night was a blur. Apparently, I had pocket-dialed my significant other when I sat on the train and he could hear people trying to offer me help while I screamed, "Don't trust the abacus! Screw the Abacus"!
Apparently, this went on for a long time before I started telling people that I injured my hand in the war. The moral of the story? You can't trust the abacus.
48. Scary Teenagers
woman walking near buildingPhoto by ian dooley on UnsplashOne of my classes in high school had a group chat to talk about homework and stuff, and when the nickname function got introduced, a lot of people ended up with exactly the type of nicknames you would expect from high schoolers. I was showing my dad a picture or something when the messenger bubble popped on the screen.
It said, "hxrny hardtick sent a message." My dad just like, awkwardly coughed and then stood up and walked away before I could explain. He never brought it up again, and I never got in trouble for it, so it could have been worse. I'm sure my dad was mildly traumatized seeing that on his teenage daughter's phone though.
49. The Way Of The Dododo
a person holding up a cell phone with the muppets on itPhoto by Brad on UnsplashOne time when I was using voip software on my work computer I was leaving a message for a client about data conversion services. After I left the message I thought I had hung up and I started singing the Jim Henson song, “Mana Mana Doo Doo Dododo”. Then noticed I was still on the call, so I hung up. I thought it was the end...it wasn't.
The next morning I come in to check the conversion voicemails. There was a very clear and professional message left by the client. He left his contact number and said to have a nice day followed by a short pause. Then he starts to sing the same song from the first message, picking up where I had left off when I realized I was still being recorded by the voicemail.
It was hilarious and made my day.
50. Nothing to Hide
woman in black tank top covering her face with her handsPhoto by Julia Taubitz on UnsplashOh boy, I have one and it is famous at my company now. I was the one to see the notification.
I teach English in China and two years ago I arrived at my first job about a month late thanks to visa issues. I survive the first two days OK and now it’s Friday and I get invited to a co-worker’s apartment to hang out, have a beer and meet some other expats. There's just a handful of us chatting and drinking casually.
Sometime later people have walked off or called it a night and it’s just me, a guy and a girl sitting on a couch. The guy shows me his phone, he wants to show me this mobile game that's very popular here in China. As he's doing this, a message pops up. It reads:
"I want your body in my mouth right now." It’s from the other girl in the room.
Me and the guy make brief eye contact immediately and then I look at her. She goes beet red and leaves the room. I'm then informed that I am the second person other than them in the company to know that the two of them are an item. She wasn't a shy girl at all and we now frequently make reference to this event.
And here’s a bonus happy ending: Mr. Body and Ms. Mouth are getting married this summer too!
It's a small world, and nothing proves this more than when you randomly bump into a friend or someone else you know (or used to know) accidentally.
I've bumped into old friends at my local library, gym, and Starbucks. It's not all that strange, and if we used to be good friends, it's nice to catch up.
However, sometimes, we bump into friends in weird places or through some strange coincidence. I switched workplaces and apartments a few months ago. On my first day, when I took the train home, I bumped into a co-worker at my previous workplace.
We didn't know each other too well, but it turns out we live in the same neighborhood and take the same train home!
Redditors have some stories about randomly running into friends in weird places as well, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor Eshoosca asked:
"What was the weirdest place you bumped into a friend?"
Other Side Of The World
"I was on a train in the Beijing Metro. It pulled up to a stop and the door opened at a random station and a friend from the UK stepped on."
– Theduckbytheoboe
"And to state how even more impressive that is, Beijing metro system has 478 stations!"
– luketas
"Happened to my dad on the Great Wall, ran into a friend he hadn't seen in a decade. They were there with 2 different tour groups. He used to joke he never met a stranger but running into someone he knew on another continent was impressive even for him."
– misoranomegami
Saw It Happen
"Not me, but I witnessed it in one of the big lifts coming up from Russell Square station on the London Underground. Two Australians in their 60s or so; one was working as a professor, the other on holiday with his family. Hadn’t seen each other in about 20 years from what I could gather, was so lovely to see!"
– arrowtotheaction
Bumped Into For A Drink
"I met a friend from Aberdeen, Scotland in a bar in Baku, the capital city of Azerbaijan."
– Mission_Progress_674
"I agree. People running into each other at airports or major tourists destinations is not so weird.. But this? Yeah."
– sterofGandalf
Getting In Trouble
"A coworker of mine here in Sweden told me she once had a boyfriend from the US who was here playing ice hockey. He only lived here for about a year. Almost 20 years later she was travelling in the US as a tourist, and somewhere in the endless corn field that is Illinois she got pulled over for speeding. Guess who the cop was that pulled her over?"
– Livid-Natural5874
Thinking Of You
"I was backpacking in Malaysia and met this cool english chick; we spent a week travelling together."
"3 years later, I had a layover at Changi airport. Singapore reminded me of her and I wondered what she was up to as I walked through the airport."
"I didn't have to wonder for long as she was a few gates down from me, waiting for a flight back to London."
– abe_froman_king_saus
That's Lunch
"During winter break I was coming home from snowboarding and stopped at a random McDonald's in the middle of nowhere. I'm waiting for my food and in walks 2 of my friends from college. I'm like an hour away from where I live and they're like 3 hours away from where they're from. Apparently they were seeing a football game and heading back and we all just happened to go to the same McDonald's in the middle of nowhere at the same time."
– pops992
From North Carolina
"My Dad and I went to play golf at a nice course in Ireland. Since it was just two of us, we were paired with 2 other random players."
"The 3rd was one of my Dad's former college roommates from the University of North Carolina (where I went as well) and the 4th was a similar aged guy who went to NC State."
"So we're in Ireland and all of the players were from the same part of North Carolina. Most bizarre coincidence of my life."
– councillleak
Kitty Reunion
"I went to visit my sister when she was living in Queens, NY. I hopped on the subway near her apartment and sat down next to the girl I had given away my cat to when I left college a few years earlier. It turned out she lived one stop away from my sister and they both worked in Times Square. I stopped by her apartment the next day to give my old cat a scratch."
– arothmanmusic
Nothing Like College
"I’m visiting a friend in the large freshman tower of her big school."
"We’re in a tower of about 500 dorm rooms, chilling in her room and all of a sudden, my cousin busts through the door yelling “I.m so sorry, hey can I hide I’m running away from the security police…. Wait cuz! That’s you!?!? What’s up Jamie?!” We’re like wait, how did you find us?"
"He had been in a field party, the cops came and sprayed tear gas to disperse, he stole the keg and put it in the back of his VW. He then drove to the freshmen towers, because he didn’t have anywhere to sleep and thought he could sleep on the communal furniture. When he realizes there is security at the front he walks by them and they start to chase and then he is in a multi floor chase with them! On the like 10th floor, he just randomly had just tried any dorm door"
– Pawpaw-22
If Only He Knew
"My girlfriend wants to take me to a burlesque show. I know two girls from high school that are involved in stuff like that. Names are passed along, no match, we're good. We get there and I've just sat down when one of the girls comes up behind me and says "Oh my god! Fox, is that you?""
"Apparently I know at least three girls from high school involved in stuff like that..."
– FoxtrotSierraTango
Yikes!
"Was a stripper. Weirdest moment was when my dad walked into the bar I was dancing at…"
"Told him he had to leave and he did"
– Fragrant_Jelly9198
Comment In Passing
"My wife and had only been married a couple of years in 1989 and went on vacation the same week my Dad went on honeymoon with his third wife. He lived in Tennessee and we lived in Florida. He was going to Virginia and we were staying in the mountains in West Virginia. None of us had cell phones in those days, but we joked before we all left that we should meet up since we'd be a lot closer than normal. On a whim my wife and I decided to go to Washington DC for the day and we ran into them at the Capitol."
– DistantKarma
Where Are They Now?
"Not a friend per se... I went to a drama/dance camp when I was 13ish. It was a lot of fun, and one of the camp leaders was a regional actor. This camp was about 2 hours from my hometown. Fast forward over 10 years later, I'm in a completely different city (90 min in another direction), taking an elevator in my work building. On steps this guy...dressed as a clown, carrying balloons. I'd recognize him anywhere. I got to tell him how much that camp meant to me, and it seemed to make his day. Until..."
"Him: "So what do you do now?""
"Me: "I'm an accountant.""
"He seemed disappointed LOL""
– Roopie1023
"He was disappointed in you for being an accountant? What a clown!"
– Superfly_1963
You Are Where I Am
"I don't know about weird, but me and my one friend have bumped into each other several times completely by random and we live nowhere near each other. One time we were both driving on the highway and came to a light, looked at each other at the same time and were both surprised. Another time was in the middle of Manhattan walking on the sidewalk through thick crowds. We literally bumped into each other."
– DisThrowaway5768
Fated To Be Friends
"Met a guy at the Mexico City airport in 2017, Paul. He's from Spain, I'm from Texas but living in Guatemala. We're both just at a layover, we smoke a cig or two together and chitchat about music and whatnot."
"Fast forward to 2019 (pre pandemic), met him again at Pacifica Sole (a beach resort in Guatemala). Totally random."
"Fast forward AGAIN to 2022. He was staying at the same hotel in Aruba with his new wife. We exchanged numbers finally cause at that point it was just weird..."
"Sh*t, he's probably reading this... hey Paul!"
– GladCricket
I want to meet a fated friend!
Do you have any similar stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.