It is a universally acknowledged truth that kids are master minds of cruelty. They have a sixth sense which allows them to pinpoint the source of insecurity in another human, craft a statement that is as cruel as it is creative, and launch the insult with cold and distant absence of guilt whatsoever.
Unfortunately, Redditors remind us that other adults, even friends, can provide self-esteem battering statements just as bad. Years later, statements like these fork into two distinct paths: the humorous shade offered by hindsight or the profound snowball growing intensity.
Reddit was stocked with both.
TheCrowsNestTV asked, "What is the cruelest thing someone has said to you?"
A Deadpan Slam
"When I was a kid, my best friend was always kind of mean or standoffish with me at school but we hung out a lot just the two of us."
"At some point I confronted him and said, 'you keep doing this, are you embarrassed to be my friend?' He just said 'Yes.'"
-- StalkachuMeme Wtf GIF Giphy
Objectifying in the Other Direction
"It was a thing in my school where guys would go up to an 'unattractive' girl in a group, in front of everyone, and ask them on a date."
"Just when the girl would start to believe it was real and give a response, the guys would all start laughing and the one who asked would tell her it was just a joke and that, 'no one would ever wanna go out with something like you.'"
"And yes, they would say 'something,' not 'someone.' It hurts yeah."
When the Kids are the Mature Ones
"My son had a liver transplant and has huge scars on his belly. He was playing at our local park where they shoot up water. Great summer fun for young kids. Another parent says, 'they should cover that kid up so we don't have to see it.'"
"Thankfully, another parent spoke up snd said, 'just because that kid's gone through a lot doesn't mean he has to hidden to make you feel comfortable.' I started to breathe evenly and smile."
"Funny thing is, when kids asked him about his scars, my son would just say, 'I had surgery.' Then they would continue playing. Adults were more cruel."
"The worst was probably in fifth grade, just after my dad died. The whole school knew, and everyone was being really nice to me except one girl. I believe the exact quote was, 'go suck your dads d*ck. Oh wait you can't, he's dead.'"
"It didn't even hurt my feelings, more of just bewildered me like who says something like that?"
A Most Certain Red Flag
"Ex-wife once told me that she wished my mom had died of the breast cancer that she beat when I was in 2nd grade. She's been in remission for 20+ years now and has always been a sweet, thoughtful and smart lady. I had to leave the house to calm down - and luckily i left the relationship eventually."
"'You are caring, smart, treat me well, have your sh!t together, and are great husband/father material, and are a wonderful man to be around. I wish you'd lose 20 lbs. so I could date you.'"
"Dad, it's Boston Pizza. Also, that's Horrible."
"When I was 16 and looking to apply at Boston Pizza which had just opened up in our town, my dad said, 'don't you have to be pretty to be a waitress?'" -- laurieali
"Please don't say parents, for the real word is creeps." -- King_Pecca
A Backhanded Guestimation
"'Guys our age'...Dude was at least 20 years older then me. Yeah, honestly me and my partner had a laugh about it later. But at the time i died a little on the inside." -- anotherDutchdude
"He didn't think of you as older, he thinks of himself as younger." -- Hektikdt
Taking the Long Way to Attraction
"'Your freckles look like you stood behind a screen door and had sh*t flung on you.' This was a neighbor who was looking to hook up. It never happened and I quit talking to him." -- sukiintheshower
"Is this some kind of advanced ninja flirting technique I'm not aware of?" -- UHMWPE
An Out and Out PUNK
"7-year-old cousin: 'Hey derp, how old are you now?'"
"Me: 'I just turned 26.'"
"7-year old: 'You're not a man!'"
"I'm 21 and my niece is 8, but she considers us to be basically the same age. Makes me feel good when I get sad that my childhood is over." -- brearoseconfused confusion GIF Giphy
Not Something You Can Just "Try Out'
"My mom said that her life would have been better if I never existed." -- earthling_probably
"To hopefully make you feel better, some people just should never have been parents. It's much more likely she's saying she just never should have had kids because she's not able to handle it." -- Not_A_RedditAccount
"My biological father came back into my life when I was 14 and had a girlfriend. Everything was great for a year until she made him choose between his new family, and me."
"I got a text message on Christmas Day saying 'Father and daughter relationship not working out, all the best for your future. Please dont call me, it will cause me problems.'"
Suddenly, a Snob
"There were years I worked multiple jobs to help support us while my ex was working on her doctorate. Once she had herself a tenure track university position, she let me know I wasn't 'educated enough to be married to a professor' like herself."
"I have my bachelor's degree."
"Well, I found myself sleeping on the sofa for about a week, while looking for an apartment so I could move out. During that time, every morning as she'd greet me with the phrase 'Why haven't you killed yourself yet?'"
At Least an Insult is Attention at All
"Nothing. When my best friend of 20+ years ghosted me, that was the cruelest thing." -- MelissaMiranti
"Wow, that's terrible. I really hate when people don't even have the guts to say why or have an adult conversation instead of ghosting." -- Neilia_Moon
Abusive Control 101
"'No one will love you like I love you because you're uninteresting, boring, & annoying.'"
"Getting past it a day at a time, but I do occasionally find myself apologizing my husband for being 'boring/annoying.'"
Severely Out of Touch
"I struggled with anxiety caused bulimia a few years back... One of my best friends (who has some self consciousness issues so she likes unhealthily skinny bodies.) told me after I recovered and gained my healthy weight back that I 'looked better when [I was] bulimic.'"
"....That made me feel so small and empty."
The First 25 Minutes of "Grease"
"9th grade year I met a girl who moved on to my block the week summer break started, we spent almost every day together. We lost our virginity to each other."
"First day of school and she won't talk to me because I'm not on of the 'cool kids.'"
"The boy I had a crush on in high school had kissed me and I was pretty excited about possibly dating. When I asked him about it the next day he said he didn't like me in that way."
"I asked why he kissed me then, and he said, 'I needed to make sure I didn't like you.'"
A Wild Escalation
"My stepson told me he was glad that my husband and I have fertility problems."
"He was 15 at the time, and pissed that he was in trouble after several of his teachers had contacted us to tell us he wasn't doing his homework or completing schoolwork and assignments."
"Asked a girl out and just got "ewwww" as a response. So that was cool. A no would've been fine."
"This happened to me too. That's rough bud." :(
-- Trekkimonmichelle obama eww GIF Giphy
My mother told me once that no one nice or decent would ever want me/be able to love me. Crazy how much stuff like this sticks on your relationships
Edit: you guys are amazing people to be willing to share your stories--I'm so sorry all of you have had to experience this nastiness. I hope you're all currently doing well and I appreciate all of you. <3
I crashed my motorcycle quite a few years ago now. I was being stupid and didn't have my gear on. So I have some very extensive scars on my arms and legs.
I'm super insecure about them. I've worn long sleeves since they've healed.
Last summer I was feeling good about myself and not caring. So I went to the beach in a bikini.
I was sitting there reading a book when a group of girls behind me starts talking about me.
There were several comments about my appearance but the one that really stuck was, "God, she should just kill herself so we don't have to look at her."
Yeah so much for self confidence that day.
I was in a car accident, no harm to me at all. Told the story to a couple people. One literally said, and I quote "I wish you would have died in the accident." it was some idiot from middle school, he hated everyone with a burning passion. He said other things too, such as "your parents are what made the plane fliers on 9/11 do it."
I was about 16 and sat on the train next two two preteen girls. The song on my MP3 player switched and therefore i could hear them. One girl pointed at me and said "That is your new boyfriend." the other girl replied "Eeeeww, no yours!"
Can confirm. Girls go through a stage where they can never admit to other girls that they like boys (at least they did 30ish years ago when I was that age. Its weird.
Had a huge crush on a friend in high school and asked her to a dance, she said no which was fine. Nothing was weird.
Then about a week later she started telling me how upset she was that no one had asked her to the dance and when I brought up I had her response was:
You don't count.
Apparently she thought I had just asked her to be nice or something. When I told her that wasn't the case she still said no but apologized for saying it. Still really hurt though.
Not to me directly, but my mum once said "I don't like him anymore" to my sister when I was in clear earshot, so it was meant for me.
It's the context that got me, considering it was all over me not being comfortable enough to go back into school to get a Christmas pudding, and getting so mad at me over something so small overwhelmed me and made me feel like a failure, I guess. Was also through the worst time in my life, which she knew about.
"If I were you I'd just freaking kill myself."
Good thing I wasn't suicidal in high school. Same guy ended up running away from home and dying his hair trying to hide from the cops that year, so yeah that dude had issues. We were sorta friends later, I don't know if he even remembers making the comment.
I was around 15 year old. I was hanging around with my friends and there was this guy who had recently started joining us every once in awhile. He was someone classmate but I don't think he was close to anyone and I thought it was weird that he was hanging out with us as it was hard to see him fit in, there was so little in common.
We rarely ever spoke to each other directly.
But then he once said pretty much out of the blue "If Horredu ever gets a girlfriend I will die by laughter".
Group of friends laughing, they can't help it and someone almost rolling on the floor. Someone agreed between the burst of laughs.
Affected my self-esteem a lot, probably more than I've understood earlier.
Being 26 year old now and still never been in a relationship, I sometimes think they were right.
Pray for your Soul
This will get buried but mine was hands down when a co-worker/decently close acquaintance told me to my face that maybe if I had prayed harder and put more faith in the lord my son wouldn't have died. Witch had worked with me since before I got pregnant, through the genetic dx while still pregnant, his birth, multiple surgeries etc. and knew damn well what the hell happened and still had the gall to say that crap. Mind you this was also like 6 years later and I'd already had two more children, countless hours of therapy, and with one statement she stabbed me in the heart all over.scared season 1 GIF by The White Princess Giphy
In a horrid twist of fate - the eldest of her two children was killed in a motorcycle accident about 18 months ago. My heart broke for her and I did reach out to offer my condolences, no parent should ever experience that kind of loss.
But I would a lying hag if I didn't admit that a hateful little voice inside me whispered to my soul 'maybe she shoulda prayed harder.'
But She Did
This wasn't really said to me, but it was said to my mom about me. I had admitted to my grandma that there was a girl that we both knew that I had a crush on (I'm a girl). I said it quick so I didn't think she'd catch it. But she did. A while later, she looked my mom dead in the eye and said something like, "It's such a shame. Your daughter WAS so pretty. Such a WASTE." So I'm a shame AND a waste... And if you think she ended there oh hoho!!! You're wrong!!!
She later called my sister EXTREMELY FAT in front of me (I went up against her for that one). And right after we shunned her from our family, I found out there was a chance that she was "watching" my big bro because he, "Reminds her of her dead husband." She did way WAY worse than that to my mom. Even calling my mom a parasite in the middle of a restaurant. I'm glad she left. We almost got kicked out of our home because of her screwed up lies.
"Your friend deserved to get stabbed." (Friend got a knife pulled on him in a fight at a party, stabbed him 7 times, critically wounded him and partially paralyzed him for life).
Births and Deaths
It wasn't too me, but about me. Everytime I'm around my mom and she has friends or family over she'd always being up how painful giving birth to me was. She said that she was considering giving me up for adoption because I was the most painful out of her 5 other births. (I'm the second oldest) I know she's probably trying to make a joke or something but it gets old when you 13 times a day. And. Sometimes I wish she had given me up for adoption.
"You're awkward" - coworker to me in my nervous first few weeks at a new job.
It was small but confirmed my fears that I might not fit in, the anxiety to follow was crushing.
Ended up making plenty of friends at my new job, he isn't one of them.
My mom told me she was worried I would abuse her and my dad when they got old because I was abusive as a teenager. I agonized over that for a couple years before I finally convinced my parents to go to a therapy sessions with me, where I found out the teenage "abuse" she was referring to was, according to her, me pushing past her roughly once as a teenager and getting too many parking tickets.
I lived to please my parents for most of life, so hearing her accuse me of abuse when I'd sacrificed my own integrity for a long time to make them happy... that really hurt me.
You're not for us
Was approached by a modeling agency once in a shopping centre with my best friends. I was very shocked as I'm quite self conscious at 5ft 11" and very curvy, so it was extremely flattering. Didn't have enough confidence to do anything about it so just left it as a nice memory. My best friend was bragging on my behalf to a group of kids in school the next week and one girl just looked me up and down and said "Oh I didn't know the menswear department of 'Middle aged clothes shop' were looking for models?'... I was 15f and it killed my confidence for years...
In middle school a girl found out I had a crush on her and decided that best way to go about dealing with that was telling everyone at lunch how ugly she thought I was because I had acne at the time. Which really sucked. Because I was already super self conscious about it and kind of just a shy person in general.
Was made even worse because it was a small private school. So everyone knew everyone's business and there was no getting away from it. I stopped eating lunch in the lunchroom for all of that year.
It sucked and the whole thing honestly made me feel like crap for years.
As we got older and were in high school, I think she tried to get back on my good side. But she never actually apologized and honestly, that ship had already sailed for me. Too little and way too late.
On the last day of senior year I let all the air out of three of her tires.
"It's a good thing you can't have kids, you would make a terrible mother."
"You won't be a real woman until you have children."
While I was grieving my sister's passing, my mother told me "You need to suck it up because I have it worse than you. I had to bury my own daughter so you need to be helping me instead of focusing on yourself."
I didn't finally get the chance to grieve until I started dating my husband.
It wasn't cruel in the way that it hurt me, but really bothered me. My mom had died a few years prior and was considering getting a tattoo in memory of her. She had always wanted a trinity knot on her shoulder blade and we had even discussed getting matching ones. I told a friend this and said "I can still get it, even though she can't get a matching one because she is dead". My friend responded "you could be close by putting her ashes in a vibrator!"
Like, what the freaking hell.Giphy
"I'm so disappointed in you. It's like I don't even know you anymore."
-my mom, after she discovered I had online friends... who I had known for 4 years. God forbid I take a road trip to see them, I guess...
Just Be Happy
"Suck it up, other people have it worse."
One of the few times I reached out to talk about my depression with a friend and she said this to me. Took the wind out of my sails, and that was 7-8ish years ago. I haven't spoken to a single soul about my depression since and never will. I don't really talk about how I feel or what I go through. I wear the mask that everything is good.
Try to Grow
When I was 12 my family and I went to a farmer's market. This couple was handing out samples and the husband said "Let the boys try some."
I said "I'm a girl."
The wife then yelled at me saying "Well grow some freaking boobs, then you'll look like a girl!!!!!"
Why so Rude?
My ex-bf saw the stretch marks I have on my inner thighs and said it looked like I had been scratched by a bear, even though he perfectly knew how much I was insecure about my physical appearance. Also a girl I knew a year ago used to bully me because she thought it was funny when I got angry, then one day I started to snap back at her rude comments and she told me that I was a horrible person and that I had serious mental issues.
You're a mistake and an embarrassment. You are a disgrace to this family. -My older brother in a restaurant with my parents watching. They said nothing to this but when I tried to tell him to just shut up I got yelled at. Yeah not only do I make better grades than him I also don't ever get in trouble anywhere except for at home unlike him who is the exact opposite.
My paternal grandmother: "He looks nothing like his father. He looks like nobody in the family. We call him the (last name) that doesn't look like a (last name)."
Meanwhile I'm a spitting image of my father. At my dad's funeral a coworker drove seven hours to speak at his funeral. I'd never met him before and his first words to me were "you are a clone of your father." Grandma hated my mom so much that she took it out on me.
Thanks for Nothing Ma
"You've always had some excuse for why you did poorly in school" - my dear old mother.
I'm 21 years old & only now getting diagnosed with ADHD because she never believed me. Thanks mom, almost getting kicked out of university was really great.
In his handwriting.
I'm sure there's lots of things worse but this sticks so hard, mainly because I see this person daily at work and have to be polite.
My fiancé passed away this past July. I got a tattoo on my inner forearm of the message he wrote in the last Valentine's card I received from him. In his handwriting. It brings me much comfort. This guy at work, while I was still barely holding it together maybe 4 weeks after the funeral, saw it.
He grabbed my arm, pushed my sleeve up, read it, and announced in front of everyone in the room(50-60 people) "How stupid are you? He's dead. You can't hang onto him. You'll never get anyone to sleep you now. Nobody will want you with the reminder that you loved someone else!"
I immediately melted down, nuclear. A couple of kind souls took me into my office, I'm not sure what was said to him, but he swears to this day he has no idea why I won't speak to him unless I'm forced. Of course he's not brave enough to ask me either.
That's not True
I did poorly in grade school on language and math, but our grade school actually has a history and geography class and I was always good at them. There was one time that I was the only one that scored the bonus question because I paid attention during class (wasn't in the book).
The teacher gave my test back and we were asked to stay quiet while she hands them out, and I did. When I talked to her afterwards at question-time, I showed my test with the right answer to her and she said, "you wrote it after I handed you the test". And no I didn't, I really really didn't. And I still remember her like, 20 years later still.
"I hope that someday you'll hate someone as much as I hate you."Giphy
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me.
That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think.
It changed my life—improved it, I'd say.
That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.
Whether it's an epiphany or experience, there are many things that can happen and can successfully shift your perspective.
People shared their stories after Redditor drewyourstory asked the online community:
"What life event or experience changed your perspective?"
"From this, I learned..."
"Nearly died of a post-surgical hypoxic brain injury, followed by a variety of problems subsequently."
"From this, I learned that mortality is a fragile thing in a random, amoral universe."
It truly is. We really have no say in it either.
We really do not have control.
"Once you get your own place..."
"Once you finally get your own place, you appreciate and feel gratitude for things that you used to take for granted."
"It's helped me maintain..."
"My husband died after a sudden short illness. My life is divided by that point in time."
"There is before and after, I'm a different person now nearly 12 years later but I'm okay with that. It's helped me maintain a good perspective dealing with my current partner's stroke."
"He's doing ok but will never have the mobility he once had. Just taking one day at a time."
Sorry for your loss.
Silver linings exist... even in tragedy.
"I can put up with..."
"My spouse developed a chronic pain illness. She spent months in debilitating pain and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do to help."
"When we finally got a diagnosis, she was able to start on some medications that improved her quality of life to near where it had been."
"Suddenly little problems just didn't seem important anymore. I can put up with a whole hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible because at least my partner's not in burning pain constantly anymore."
Thankfully, your partner is healthier, and the experience undoubtedly made you a stronger person!
"I had both hips replaced..."
"I had both hips replaced at 25 and will owe money for the rest of my life."
"My debt to income ratio keeps me from normal things like owning a house. I don't sweat missing a bill now and then anymore."
Society really should not allow this to happen.
"I think every single human..."
"I think every single human has experienced the feeling of post-traumatic guilt caused by something they've done in the past."
"For example, in elementary school, I had a best friend whose family was struggling financially. One day, he brings coins (pennies and nickels only) for his school lunch that day."
"I, for some stupid reason, smacked the change out of his hand as he took the change out to count how much he had."
"I got yelled at by the principal, who was walking behind me, and got suspended. Ever since that day, I have never ever made fun of someone's financial stability, given people money (especially the homeless), and never smacked anything out of anyone's hands."
"That moment changed my perspective on how the treatment towards others comes back to bite you."
"Holding my eight year old brother as he died from extreme medical incompetence then being stuck with his body for twenty minutes as a ventilator made his corpse breathe and a fault in the heart monitor didn't trigger the alarm to bring help and the nurses ignored the call light because they were 'busy with another patient'."
"I cared about people before then. I can switch that off and on at will now."
"Being from Canada..."
"Being from Canada, we're pretty sheltered here, so traveling to other parts of the world and seeing how poor some communities are really made me realize how lucky we are and how good we have it."
Many people in the Western world would learn a hell of a lot if they were humbled by the way others around the world live.
"I love him..."
"Having a child with autism. He is the most loving, kind, intelligent young man."
"I love him more than anything in the world, but I have to consider everyday events that others take for granted. There are things that will be overly stressful for him, and without any glaring differences, people are often not understanding."
"Family gatherings, grocery store visits, haircuts, the dentist, everything is planned."
"The world can be a noisy, chaotic, inconsistent place which are all things he really hates, but he meets every challenge head-on and I couldn't be prouder to call him my son."
"Have you ever just stood..."
"Have you ever just stood and looked at a dead person? The first dead person I ever saw was my father... I've seen probably more than my share after that too."
"Looking at someone with their lights permanently turned off changes something in you."
No one is immune from life's tragedies or trials and tribulations.
How do you handle them, though? That's the real test.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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