The weirdest things can be crimes. But also, crimes can be anything that someone in the 20th century decided shouldn't be allowed.
A lot of things that are against the law in the USA are criminalized poverty as a result of the 80s. For example, sleeping on a park bench is illegal in a staggeringly large amount of states in the union. So when you make it impossible for people to afford living but also make it impossible for them to find alternatives, what are they supposed to do?
u/NEW_ME__ asked:
Criminals of Reddit what's a crime you got away with?
Here were some of those answers.
Silence In The Library
I do still have an unreturned library book from around 1993.
I got a response from the librarian. See below.
Hi, If you checked the book out that long ago, it isn't on your record anymore. Whatever the statute of limitations was back then, it has long expired. We no longer have overdue fines in Wake County, so you owe none.
They used to just cap out at $2.00 anyway. We have enough copies of the title in the system to meet demand, and, in any event, we aren't currently accepting donations.
I think the universe intends you to have that copy. If you have a current library account, I can check its status. I know that this book will not be on it, but I can see what is. If you provide me with your address or the last 5 digits of your account number, I can look you up.
Life Harder Than Candy
When I was 7, I accidently put a candy to my pocket at store not knowing about it and i stole it
Damn you're a hardened criminal!
Sniffers Begone
I got my niece's nose. Still got it around here somewhere.
Now your niece looks like Voldemort :(
Okay so maybe most people haven't gotten away with serious crimes.
So It Seems Like You DID Have Enough Booze
Attempted Breaking & Entering. Long story short. We ran out of alcohol. We drove to a club a buddy worked at (7am on a Wednesday).
Tried to break a door down with katanas and Burger King King masks. We failed. Thank god
Can't The Cops Like...Do Their Jobs
My buddy got a $75 jaywalking ticket in San Diego. Forgot to go to court, got popped for that too. Whole thing ended up costing him around $300. All for crossing when the sign said do not walk.
I really don't get how that's a crime in the US
Thank the auto industry
Especially Heinous
I once wore socks with sandals while fashion police weren't looking
Stop right there criminal scum!!
Ripping Off Small Time Artists
Stole around $300 worth of merch at an anime convention to impress somebody I met there. She stole something first and I didn't want her to think I was a p*ssy... we split up and met again later and she was shocked.
Never stole again though.
Stick It To The Man™
Not the exact question, but a friend of mine shoplifted a lighter right under a cop's nose just for the thrill.
It was in line at a convenience store, cop was right behind us in line. She later gave me the lighter, and it's one of my favorite things.
My Roommates Always Do This
Not really serious but I went into a supermarket opened the fridge and drank an entire bottle of orange juice and left. I was on medication but should have known better than to do that :(
But like... orange juice is good, if I was a judge I'd let you off
Same Gurl
I had gay sex in Alabama.
Pretty sure there are Supreme Court rulings to protect your behavior there, but for the longest time, sale of sex toys was illegal in Alabama.
Some of these are crimes of technicality, some of these are crimes by complete accident.
Some are intentional, but nobody was hurt. Still, The Social Edge does not condone stealing or drinking orange juice straight from a store fridge.
As a kid, there is nothing more exciting than spending the night at a friend’s house. After all, what’s better than staying up all night with your best buds, snacking, playing games, and having a great time? Sounds dreamy, right? Unfortunately, all too often, those dreams turn into nightmares. These are some of the worst sleepovers people have ever had.
1. The Unwanted Invite
When I was in the 4th grade, one of my friends had a sleepover birthday party. It was pretty normal stuff. About 30 minutes after everyone had already gotten there, someone knocked on the door. A 6th grader whose parents were friends with my friend's parents. Apparently, he didn't have a lot of friends so he got invited. It only took a few minutes to realize why he didn’t have many friends.
He was mean, physical, and would try to one-up everyone. A little later in the night, we decide to wrestle each other. That's when the night took a dark turn. He punched one of the kids in the groin, so one of the other guys went up to him and gave him a swift punch to the sternum. He fell straight to the ground. For the rest of the night, the kid didn't say a word to anyone and hid in the basement for most of the night.
2. Love Me Some Sweet Milk
top view of corn flakes in bowl with milk and silver spoonPhoto by Nyana Stoica on UnsplashIt was the early 1990s when I was a kid. I slept over at a buddy’s house for the first time. The next morning we woke up and his mom made us cereal. The milk tasted sweet, even for my childhood taste buds. Something about it all seemed off. Just as my buddy finished his bowl of cereal, his mom came over and turned the bowl on its side to pour the leftover milk from the cereal bowl into a milk carton.
The mom then did the same with hers. I felt my face turn red with shame and embarrassment and my stomach turn. Horrified and confused, I asked, “What is that? What are y’all doing?” He turned to me and said, “That’s our cereal milk.” As it turned out, his ENTIRE family poured all of the leftover milk from each bowl of cereal back into a separate milk carton, specifically for cereal. I drank this entire family’s backwash.
3. Goofing Gone Wrong
A friend and I went to another friend’s house to sleep at night. We were all goofing around, as most 10-year-old boys do, to the point our friend’s dad started yelling at his son. It was a little bit awkward and tense, and then my friend told his dad to “shut up.” That was the wrong thing to say. His dad decided his son needed some old school punishment and made his son pull his pants down, and made us watch as he whipped him a few times on the bare cheeks with his belt.
4. Playback Time
photo of black and brown cassette tapePhoto by Namroud Gorguis on UnsplashI went to a girl’s sleepover when I was about eight years old. There were three of us. The girl’s dad put an audio recorder under the teddies on top of her cupboard when he came in to hand them out. We were talking about crushes at school and such. The next day he played the recording out loud to wake us up, laughing, and listening closely to what we were talking about, in front of us.
5. Lonely Old Nana
I stayed over at my best friend's house almost every week when I was in elementary school. Their grandmother lived with them and everyone treated her like a burden. They told me she was crazy and mean but she was always very kind to me, and because I was raised to be nice to my elders, I was kind in return. One day, when my friend had to go talk to her mom about something, the grandma asked me into her room.
I had never been in there and it was decorated completely differently from the rest of the house. I could tell she had moved an entire house’s worth of stuff into one bedroom. I can’t remember our conversation, but she gave me a little metal bracelet and asked me to hide it from the family. I was scared to wear it, as I didn’t want my friend to get mad.
6. All Tied Up
white rope on brown tree closeup photographyPhoto by Markus Spiske on UnsplashWhen I was 12, I slept over at my supposed best friend's house. Her then 17-year-old brother played his music very loudly and then shook his junk in my face. My friend and her brother then tied me to a chair and made me watch a movie that freaked me out. After that, they proceeded to laugh their butts off when I woke up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare. I’m not friends with her anymore.
7. A Man’s Garage Is His Castle
I had a best friend with a big house. His dad was a HUGE garage dad. He had his brand new fishing boat that he cleaned every day in there, all his trophies, life relics, everything was in the garage. The floor of the garage was nicely carpeted, and legit everything in there was spotless. Anytime I went over, his dad spent most of his waking hours in that garage.
My friend, his brother and I somehow got into a "water battle" with the garden hose and some super soakers. I can't remember how or why it started, but as you can guess, we moved our battle into the garage and left the garden hose running inside. We must've left it running from lunchtime, and his dad didn't come home until 5 or 6 pm.
I'll never forget the earth-shattering screams and wails I heard. My friend's mom just closed her eyes, sobbing, as my friend and his brother begged for her to do something while their dad dragged them into that garage. The screams and yelling from the dad inside the garage continued for the entire hour it took for my parents to come and pick me up.
8. Swim Date Scuffle
blue Olympic poolPhoto by Marcelo Uva on UnsplashI was meant to stay the night with a kid just a few doors down from my grandparents’. He lived with his grandparents and his grandpa was a facilities manager at an upscale apartment complex and offered to take us swimming there for the day. His grandfather dropped us off at the main pool and said he’d be back in a while.
The pool was Olympic-sized and simply had too many people, so we decided to explore and ended up at a smaller pool on the property elsewhere. We were swimming, having a good time and everything was great—that is, until he started a splash fight. We were going back and forth and then he started screaming at me at the top of his lungs. Then he went too far, and I knew I had to act.
He ends up cornering me and tries to push me under the water, still screaming. I wrestle myself free and hit him square in the nose. His nose started bleeding like Niagara Falls and he started cursing at me repeatedly as loud as his lungs could muster. I got out of the pool and grabbed my things and headed back to the front of the complex. People were staring and trying to calm him down. He started walking after me, hands at his sides in fists, covered in blood from his nose.
I make it back to the front of the complex and am desperately trying to get someone to let me use a phone to call home. No one would listen. They’re enamored with the screaming kid who, by the way, is still lumbering after me. He’s a mess. Out of nowhere, his grandfather appears and snatches him up and disappears with him through a door. I was still trying to get someone to let me use a phone when his grandfather reappeared.
He asked me what happened then told me he has to take the kid home, and that I can’t go with them. They finally let me use the phone. My parents didn’t answer, so I ended up getting ahold of my aunt who was still working and couldn’t come to get me for another two hours. The office wouldn’t let me stay inside so I was outside in the parking lot standing around waiting, still having no idea what happened.
My aunt showed up and off we went. When I got home, I got yelled at for being so far from home. A few days later my mom went to talk to the kid’s grandfather. She came back and told me that we couldn’t hang out anymore. She told me that he needed medication to keep him calm and that he had missed his dose that day. The situation wasn’t my fault. I never saw him again.
9. Sleepwalking Smasher
I was a sleepwalker. At about the age of seven, I slept over at a friend's house, sleepwalked, and woke up in an enclosed space. I panicked. I pushed my arms straight out in front of me against what I thought was a wall. Once I realized what was happening, it was too late. It turned out to be an enormous bureau that was placed diagonally in the corner of the dining room. I ended up pushing it over. It was full of plates, glasses, and fine china, etc. It was 4 am.
10. Sudden Loss
lighted candles on black metal candle holderPhoto by Eli Solitas on UnsplashI had my first ever sleepover with my best friend in the first grade. Things at night were awesome. However, when I woke up the next morning, everyone at his house was super distant, and they called my mom to come and pick me up ASAP. I didn’t know what was going on. As it turned out, unfortunately, his father had an aneurysm that night and didn’t survive.
11. Curled Up With Kitty
I had a big group of girls come around for a sleepover when we were about nine or ten. I slept in a tent in my garden. One of the girls brought my slightly special cat into the tent for the night. The cat was loving it, purring, and getting loads of attention from this girl. He fell asleep on her. I woke up the next morning and found poop on one of the other girls' hair. The cat had got up in the night, walked over to the second girl, did its business, and went back to the first girl and fell asleep on her again.
12. And Those Are the Rules….
stainless steel platesPhoto by Hannah Busing on UnsplashI went to my friend's house for the first time, as she always wanted to come to my house, not the other way around. However, she had never told me why. I was about to learn the truth the hard way. So, I got there, and after the first hour, it all goes downhill. The parents had strict rules about eating at the table. They proceeded to insult me about my weight to the point I nearly cried. After that, they continued to ask me questions about my race and family.
By the time night came, I found out they had a lockdown rule in their house. We weren't allowed out of the bedroom until morning. I didn't know that and ended up getting lectured the next morning. I also didn't know that I would be forced to attend their church in the morning before I could go home. That's how I figured out why she always wanted to stay at my house and not the other way around.
13. He’s Naked And I’m Afraid
I was at a typical sleepover—movie, video games, popcorn. When it came time to go to bed, I went into the bathroom, changed into my pajama pants, and walked back in to find my friend already in his bed and smirking. I didn't think much of it, so I crawled into my sleeping bag and asked if he wanted to play some more video games. He threw open his blanket and I saw he was naked.
The kid flashed me. I was understandably stunned and I said something along the lines of, “Put some clothes on." He responded, "Nope, my house, my rules." I was really uncomfortable by now, and didn't want to sleep. He covered himself back up with his blankets and said he would put his clothes back on, which he did. I tried to shrug it off, and we played some more video games for a little bit, then turned off the lights and went to sleep.
Not too long after the lights went out, I heard him rustling around, then getting out of his bed. He says, "I'm naked again," laughs, and tries to lay on me. I shoved him off, and he kept trying to lay on me. A brief back and forth went on, and at this point, I'm pretty much yelling at him to leave me alone and go to sleep. I heard him stand up. I thought he was going to leave me alone now. I was wrong—what happened next was the worst by far.
I started to feel something splattering against my sleeping bag where my feet were. It didn't take long for me to figure out that he was relieving himself on me. I told him I was going home, and as I'm trying to get out of the sleeping bag, he body-slammed me. I was stunned. As he went to jump on me again, I kicked him in the stomach as hard as I could, and he went down crying.
I woke up his mom at around midnight and told her what happened. She went into the room to find her naked son on the floor crying and yelled at me to leave. I called my mom and waited for her on their front porch, as my friend's mom was going bananas when she saw the pee on the sleeping bag and ground.
14. Bar Hopper
empty chairs and tables inside lighte roomPhoto by QUI NGUYEN on UnsplashWe were 13. Normally I would always stay at my friend's place but this time we stayed at mine. My parents took us to the bar which was something people did at the time. My father decided to drink too much, and my friend and I were stuck in the bar from 8 pm until 1 am. It was getting pretty uncomfortable, so when my father got up to use the bathroom, my mom grabbed us and we ran out to the van.
He came out screaming and banging on the van. When we got home, we got some dinner and my mom went to bed. My friend and I decided to watch a movie in the living room, which I was never allowed to use. An hour later my dad showed up, just sat on the couch, and fell asleep an hour later. So we snuck off to my room and my friend’s parents picked us up to stay at his place. That was the last time I ever had a friend sleepover.
15. Aunty Flo Crashed the Party
I was at my friend’s house when my period decided to show up. I bled through my underwear and pajamas ALL over my friend’s bed. I was mortified and too embarrassed to tell her. I cleaned up in the bathroom before anyone else was up. Then, I made the bed before anyone could see it. I still feel so terrible and embarrassed about it almost 15 years later.
16. Like A Bat Outta...
a large bat flying over a forest filled with treesPhoto by James Wainscoat on UnsplashThere were about six or seven of us at a friend's house. It was a hot summer night, so we’re camping outside in sleeping bags. It’s pretty late and we’ve been messing around with each other all night, tossing little pebbles and running around dragging each other about in sleeping bags. Just as I was dozing off, I felt a nudge, but waved it off.
Then, I felt a nudge inside of my sleeping bag and immediately heard a squeaky screech. I screamed and everyone immediately panicked with me. I’m zipped up in a mummy-style sleeping bag so when I stand whatever is screeching is still wrapped in it with me. A quick-witted kid ran over and helped shake me out of the bag and a huge bat flew out. Thank goodness, it didn’t bite me.
17. Heavy Handed Hijinks
I went to a sleepover for my mother's friend's daughter. I didn't know anyone else there and was pretty shy, but I was down for junk food and silly movies. In the middle of the night, one of the other kids started freaking out and having an anger or anxiety attack. She was screaming about how everyone hated her and was throwing stuff everywhere.
I stood up and immediately got hit in the nose by a heavy dinner plate that she had chucked like a frisbee. I fell backwards, hit my head on the window frame, and passed out. I underplayed how bad it had been to my parents because I didn't want them to freak out, so it was a week or so before my mom was concerned enough that my nose still hurt to take me to the doctor.
A month later it still hurt, so I fessed up to how bad the sleepover had been. My mom took me to a second doctor, who within minutes had referred me to get x-rays and see the plastics team. They found that the bridge of my nose had shattered into pieces and cracked vertically down the middle. The impact had spread pieces into places they shouldn't be, and because of the delay in treatment, it had started healing like that.
18. The House in the Woods
white wooden house near bare trees during daytimePhoto by Zack Kiesewetter on UnsplashWhen I was eight, I had a sleepover at a friend's house who lived in the woods. They were living in a dilapidated house on the property, while their proper house was being built. Unfortunately, this house didn’t have an inside toilet, rather, a long drop out the back. Even worse was that there was a thunderstorm the night I was staying over.
The rule was that I had to use the toilet before bed, but after one look outside at the rain, thunder, and their horse standing between the door and the long drop, I decided to skip that step. I ended up wetting the bed that night and her dad wasn’t too pleased with me. I remember her brother coming home in the morning saying, “Ah you’re the one who wet the bed.” My friend also told all of our other friends at school.
19. The Day the Drain Field Collapsed
A friend of mine had a monster dump during a sleepover. It backed up the entire drain field, with poo-water coming through the sinks and the washing machine. We spent part of the night bailing water out of the bathroom window. The next morning, we woke up to the sounds of a backhoe and my dad shouting. It turned out that my buddy's poop was the one that finished off the drain field. The whole backyard had to be dug up and an all-new drain field put in.
20. Chocolate Chunkies
chocolate bar on white surfacePhoto by Tetiana Bykovets on UnsplashIt was around Halloween time. We spent the night playing video games and having a good time. As we were playing, I was eating a ton of chocolate. I was in bed at around 2 am, and began having a nightmare. When I woke up, I needed to puke. I ran down a bunch of stairs to the toilet and started heaving away. As it turned out, I had also barfed all over the side of my friend’s spare bed and on the floor while I was sleeping.
21. Didn’t Make The Cut
I grew up with a girl a couple of doors down, who I considered to be one of my best friends. When we were about 10 or 11, she had a birthday party sleepover, and I was invited along with six other girls. We played games, did our hair, watched movies, and sang karaoke. Toward the end of the night, she told me, in front of all the other girls, that I couldn't sleep over because she could only have six friends there.
It was something she hadn't mentioned until that point. I was crushed, but I packed up my sleeping bag and all the stuff I'd brought over and prepared to walk home. But I didn't even realize how bad it was yet. On my way out, I passed another girl who was arriving late to the party with all her sleepover gear in hand. I walked home in the dark and didn't tell my mother what had happened. I played Monopoly by myself and pretended everyone else was there with me. My friend never apologized and I never said anything about it.
22. Tiger Mom Torment
brown and black tiger showing tonguePhoto by Kartik Iyer on UnsplashIt began on Friday afternoon after school when I was in middle school. My parents weren't available to take me, so my friend’s mom, who is a Tiger Mom, and who I had never met before, picked me up. We had to go pick up her younger daughter from school, and the mom told me she had to speak to the principal. The mom told me that I was not to speak, move, or even breathe too loudly.
She told me to be quiet, or that she was taking me home. She snapped at me again in the car on the way to the house because I didn't get the memo that I was supposed to be quiet the entire time. My friend and the other girl were at the house by the time the world's most awkwardly silent car ride finally ended. Tiger Mom glared daggers upon our very mild greeting to each other and I only saw her once the rest of the evening.
My friend was constantly looking over her shoulder and trying to maintain our teenage fun through whispers, as we were walking on eggshells. It was more stressful than fun, so I was relieved when it was time to lock ourselves in the room for the night, where we were a little freer to talk and relax—or so I thought.
My friend got a few sharp texts from her mom telling her to keep us quiet. How she even heard us, I don't know. She was across their large house and downstairs. We were ridiculously quiet for three teenagers having a sleepover. The next morning, my parents were ordered to pick me up as early as possible. I was so stressed out by Tiger Mom, I was happy to leave without breakfast.
23. Locked Up For The Night
One night I stayed over at my friend's house, and his dad, who was an alcoholic, was really angry and got angrier as he drank more. We could hear him upstairs swearing and banging stuff around, and stomping on the floor. After a while, he came downstairs and started yelling at my friend for something he did wrong. A few seconds later, he pushed my friend across the room hard. My friend looked like he was hurt badly.
Then his dad came charging over and dragged me towards the hallway closet and threw me in there. He told me to keep my mouth shut and to let this be a lesson for hanging around his son. A few hours later, the noise stopped. I tried escaping but somehow he locked the door and I didn't want to bang on it because I thought he was going to hurt me. I just sat there crying for what felt like forever.
Eventually, the door opened and it was my friend telling me to hurry up and leave. Luckily I didn't have far to go to get home.
24. The Haunted Tea Set
brown and black concrete buildingPhoto by Eleanor Brooke on UnsplashMy friend’s mom was into all of those weird ghost hunting and Bigfoot shows, so over dinner, she made me watch one where people went around communicating with ghosts. I was maybe 11 and had never seen anything like that before, so I believed her mom telling me it was real. I also believed her when she said, “The silver tea set on the dresser is haunted by my grandmother. I’ve seen her ghost cleaning it at night.”
Their house had a creepy old-style feel to it too, so I was terrified to sleep. After I finally fell asleep. I was awoken suddenly by the sound of silverware rattling outside the door. I’ll never forget the feeling of being frozen in fear like that, drenched in a cold sweat thinking that great grandma’s ghost was about to waltz through the door. I’ve never been so relieved to go home in the morning.
25. Don’t Flush!
My friend's mom had complained about people flushing the toilet in the middle of the night. It was a small house and I was little, so I thought, "Ok just don't flush in the middle of the night." However, on different occasions, she complained about kids not flushing the toilet. I figured I just shouldn’t go to the bathroom while everyone was asleep.
One night when I was sleeping over, after a late-ish night of playing video games, I tucked into bed no problem. It took me a while to fall asleep, and after about an hour and all the kids had fallen asleep, I realized I had to go to the bathroom. I didn’t want to disturb anyone's sleep and get scolded with the flushing of the toilet, so I tried to fall asleep to no avail.
I considered going to the toilet and just not flushing, and hope no one knows it was me. I heard footsteps over by the bathroom, so I waited. This went on all night long. I scared myself into holding in an enormous poop for the entire night until morning around 6 am. Going to the bathroom after the insomnia it had induced was both divine and harrowing.
26. Too Much to Handle
short-coated gray dog near green leafed plantsPhoto by Christopher Ayme on UnsplashI had a sleepover birthday party when I turned nine. It was a huge deal for me. I was so excited and had been preparing for it for ages. Around seven other girls came over and we had candy and a treasure hunt and all the fun things you do when you’re young. An old friend of my dad’s was staying at our house that night and brought me a big box of chocolates as a birthday gift.
We ate a few and then started playing games outside, leaving the open box unattended in the dining room. My two large dogs ate the entire box. By the time this was discovered, my dad and his friend had left to grab a drink together, leaving my mom alone with eight little girls, a toddler, and two extremely ill dogs. She couldn’t load us all in the car to take the dogs to the emergency vet, so I had to help her pour hydrogen peroxide down their throats to make them puke.
The rest of the night was punctuated by the sounds of the dogs throwing up in the backyard. Several girls asked to call their parents and go home.
27. If The Shoe Fits, Don’t Throw It
I was at a sleepover where a bunch of eight-year-old boys decided it would be smart to throw objects at each other in the dark. I picked up a shoe and threw it at someone only to immediately hear crying. When the lights went on, we saw this kid's nose was now a blood waterfall. His mother was furious and wanted to have everyone sent home, but the kid fought it, so we stayed.
28. Nowhere To Hide
photo of boy in bathtub eating watermelonPhoto by Kyle Nieber on UnsplashWhen I was around nine or ten, my friend's mom made us share a bath because we were both girls and it would save water. My friend seemed okay with it, so I didn’t make a fuss, even though internally I felt very awkward. Well, her mum ran the bath and it was just plain water. No bubble bath so I could hide under the foam.
We sat opposite ends of the bath with our knees up under our chins, awkwardly covering our bits. I was made even more uncomfortable by her snacking on a carrot and little tiny pieces of carrot falling into the bath and floating about.
29. Hiding In My Fort
When I was about 9 years old, a new kid moved onto the street and we became pretty good friends. We found ourselves playing video games way late at night, but I would always go home since I only lived a few houses down. One night he asked me to spend the night, so we built a fort in his upstairs game room using the couch cushions and blankets. Everything was fine until around 1 am.
Everyone in his house was sound asleep, except for me. I was laying there in my makeshift fort when I heard the sound of heels on tile walking down the hallway, adjacent to where we set up the forts. The sound was so distinct and loud, that to this day I could not imagine it being something else. The weird thing about it was that the floor in their house had carpet, so I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it was coming from.
I also didn’t have a phone at this time, so I was peering into the darkness through a crack in my fort when the walking sound stopped. After a moment of silence, it sounded as if it was sprinting in my direction. So I quickly hid behind the cushions when something knocked over the whole fort. This woke my friend up and he blamed me for doing it. To this day I have never gone back to his house to spend the night.
30. Bright Lights, Big Problem
white and black line illustrationPhoto by Artem Bryzgalov on UnsplashI was SO excited for my first sleepover at the age of 12, however, I was in for a surprise. The girl whose house I was sleeping at, slept with her nightlight on, which was as bright as normal light, and was also flashing rainbow colours. She also needed music to sleep (not soft lullaby music), and it was really loud. I felt like I was being tormented. I could not get to sleep, yet there she was sleeping through it all.
I went home the next day after zero sleep and told my parents I was no longer mad at them for not letting me have sleepovers earlier.
31. I Think I’d Rather Be Forgotten
I was the youngest in my family, and frequently forgotten, so birthday parties were a rare occurrence. It was exciting when I got to have a sleepover party for my tenth birthday. We were all lying on the floor watching a movie when my dog had diarrhea ON MY PILLOW. We quickly evacuated and slept in another room, but it was pretty awful.
32. Birthday Bash of Bad Friends
silhouette of three woman with hands on the air while dancing during sunsetPhoto by Levi Guzman on UnsplashMy cousin and I were best friends growing up. She was six months older than me, and we were always together. When she would come over to visit, my other best friend who lived down the road would play with us too. We were a grand trio. My cousin was having a birthday sleepover. She told me she was inviting her friends from school who I did not know. She even invited my best friend who lived close by.
This was my first all-girls sleepover and I was really excited. When my friend and I arrived, my cousin’s friends were extremely cold to us. When we joined them in the bedroom, they laughed at us and didn’t speak to us for most of the evening. These girls went to a mixed boys and girls school so the group spent most of the time talking about boys and all the things they had done.
They took great delight in belittling and making fun of us, as we went to an all-girls school so we had no experience or interest in boys at that age. They continually alienated us from the conversation and would laugh with each other whenever my friend I would try to join in. This was my first experience feeling so isolated in a room full of people. I felt extremely uncomfortable.
During the night the girls got even nastier. I had enough and said I would sleep elsewhere. I moved my sleeping bag into another room. My cousin begged me to rejoin, as she didn’t want to get in trouble with her parents. I returned sullenly and felt like the smallest person in the world. Thankfully the morning came and I was only dying to get packed up and for my mom to collect me. When I got home, my mom asked me how the night went and I just broke down and sobbed my little heart out.
33. Left in Stitches
I had stitches on my face. My parents didn't want me to sleep at my friend's house because the gash on my face was still pretty fresh. I persuaded them to let me go. Later that night, there was a lot of laughter. I guess laughing caused some of the stitches to pop and the wound to reopen. My friend's parents were traumatized and my parents had to bring me back to the hospital to get sewn up at around 3 am.
34. Birthday Barfarama
ice cream in glass beside spoonPhoto by David Calavera on UnsplashI went to a birthday sleepover when I was about ten. We had a make-your-own sundae bar, and we all indulged too much. A couple of hours later, we were all sitting around in a circle with our pillows and blankets, talking and telling stories. Out of nowhere, the birthday boy throws up into the centre of the circle. There was barf all over my pillow and blanket. Upon seeing this, a second kid barfs into the middle of the circle. More puke all over my pillow. It was a total barfarama! Our moms got called and we all had to go home.
35. Private School Snobs
I was friends with a girl whose two-night, three-day sleepover was the talk of the summer. While at the sleepover, her mother came up to me and said, “Honey, this will be your last sleepover with us because we don’t associate ourselves with public school children.” I ate my waffles in silence the rest of breakfast and cried while packing my things that morning.
36. These Rumors Got Me Spooked!
black and white cat lying on brown bamboo chair inside roomPhoto by Manja Vitolic on UnsplashI slept at the popular girl’s house, who lived across the road from the school. Dinner was good, we got to have ice cream afterwards, and I loved staring at the fire in her fireplace. There was a rumor at school that her older brother and sister had tried to kill a kid by pushing him into a pit at a house party. I don’t know if it was true or not, but as a kid, it was in the back of my mind.
We went to sleep at around 9:30 pm, which was quite early for me. I woke up a few hours later, sweating, with a warm pressure on my chest. I was freaked out! I couldn’t see what it was right away, then I realized it was their cat, curled up under my chin and purring. It really spooked me, so I had their mom drop me back home in the middle of the night.
37. The Tag Alongs
I was in seventh grade and went to spend the night at a friend’s house. His parents told us they were going to a party and we were coming with them since they couldn’t leave us alone. By the end of the night, all of the adults were passed out, and the kids were left to fend for themselves. I slept in an empty bedroom, up against the wall in the corner.
When I woke up it was freezing because the house had no heat. There was no food in the kitchen. I was the only one up, so I just left. It took me three hours to walk home because it was so far away.
38. Super Soaker
time lapse photography of two firemenPhoto by Michael Jeffrey on UnsplashWhen I was about six or so, I stayed at my friend's house and had to go to the bathroom. As I settled in front of the toilet, I realized something was wrong. I tried aiming, but I misaligned and an outburst of pee poured out. It was like an out-of-control firehose and it just went everywhere—in the bathtub, the rug, the toilet rim, and probably on the wall. I remember freaking out and just heading back as if nothing happened.
Unfortunately for my friend's mother, she found out that it had indeed happened. It haunts me to this day.
39. That’s Not Wall Art
I was about eight and sleeping over at my friend's house. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I had to go poop very urgently. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. The toilet was in the corner of the bathroom against a wall. As I approached the toilet, I turned around, and as I pulled down my pants I sprayed diarrhea all over the side of the wall and floor.
Panicked, I tried cleaning it up by dabbing it with toilet paper, but I just knew there was no way I could clean all this up. So in all my wisdom, I wiped myself up and went back to bed. In the morning I went down into the kitchen, where my friend and his Mom were sitting. She was like, "Cowboy, did something happen last night? Did you go to the bathroom?"
Again, in my infinite wisdom, I just denied it completely and asked to go home.
40. In Bed With the Bugs
yellow and black insect on white textilePhoto by Erik Karits on UnsplashI slept over at my friend’s house when I was about 12 before going on a weekend trip out of town with her family. Her mom was a hoarder. I found a weird-looking bug in my friend’s room during that first night. She nonchalantly tells me that it’s a bedbug. I barely slept, feeling all sorts of creepy crawly things and spent the rest of the trip with awful bites all over my arms. Miraculously none of the bugs came home with me.
41. Stranger in the Window
We were all hanging out in my friend's bedroom and a girl who was sitting on the floor facing the window said in a very calm voice, "I'm going to say something and you guys have to just keep looking this way. There is a man looking in the window. I'm going to go tell your dad." She stood up and walked out of the room. We were all too afraid to look. Someone then suggested we all go to the living room.
Meanwhile, the other friend had told the dad, and he took off outside with a baseball bat. We heard him yell and run outside. He was chasing the guy down the sidewalk. Her mom called for help. Law enforcement got there and her dad came back and told the officer what happened. We all slept on the floor in the living room, while her dad slept on the couch with his baseball bat.
42. Don’t Wake Up Mama
white ceramic sink with stainless steel faucetPhoto by visualsofdana on UnsplashWhen I was in 5th grade, my friend had a birthday slumber party at a hotel. There were six girls and her mom all in one room. Her mom let us run around the hotel all night unsupervised. We stayed up super late and went swimming, ran up and down the hallways and acted like bratty little 5th graders would without their parents around.
When we finally decided to return to the room and go to bed, we knocked on the door so her mom would let us in. She answered the door and was screaming at us for waking her up. Her mom was so angry with us, she made us all sleep in the bathroom of the hotel room. That's right. All six of us girls had to sleep in the bathroom.
43. To Grandma’s House We Don’t Go
I went to a sleepover at a friend's house who lived with her grandparents. She refused to let me out of the room and wouldn’t let me go downstairs. She kept making excuses and wouldn’t let me exit at all. I got creeped out and almost called my Mom, but my friend begged me not to go. Eventually, we sorta slept, but she had the TV on all night so I couldn’t sleep well.
Years later I found out the horrifying truth. Her grandfather was touching her and on that night she noticed he was eyeing us both.
44. Taco Time
taco with vegetablesPhoto by Fernando Andrade on UnsplashI was in the 8th grade. I couldn’t fall asleep because of some mild congestion. So around 3 am, some other people woke up and we started telling some scary stories. One of my friends recited a well-known story from memory. As we're nearing the end of the story, another friend in the other room started passing gas. The tacos had kicked in, and they didn't stop.
We stifled our giggles to get through the rest of the story, but someone was keeping count of the farts. A few guys in the other room came into our area because the stench was too much to handle. The gassy friend also tossed and turned a lot. He fell out of his bed at least three times. By the time the sun rose, the count was somewhere over 250. Tacos, never again.
45. All Shook Up
I crashed at my friend’s house when I was about 14. The guy didn’t tell me that a few days before he had found his mom’s vibrator hidden in her room. He told me to turn off the lights because he had something to show me. Before I could do anything, he rammed his mom's pleasure toy into my mouth and ran off laughing. I never stopped over again and I couldn't look his mom in the eye again either.
46. This Is Not What I Signed Up For
brown wooden house near lake surrounded by green trees during daytimePhoto by Suelee Wright on UnsplashWhen I was about 12 years old, a neighbor invited me to go to his lake cabin with his dad. They had a boat and said we'd get to go water skiing and tubing. It sounded like a lot of fun. When we got there, his dad instantly put us to work doing all kinds of yard work. I asked about going on the boat and he kept saying as soon as we finished our work.
We ended up working almost the entire weekend and went on the boat one single time for about an hour or two. This guy also only had a box of corn dogs for us to eat the entire weekend! It was horrible.
47. A Dangerous Game
My friend's older brother pulled his Colt out and started waving it around. My friend and I were playing Nintendo. His brother thought it would be funny to scare us so he pointed the freaking thing at us. We screamed and said to stop, but he laughed and said it wasn't loaded. He pointed it at my friend and pulled the trigger. But he was wrong. It was loaded.
The brother shot my friend in the face from point-blank range. He didn’t make it. I still have nightmares about it now as an adult.
48. Stepping up to the Plate
sliced citrus and melonsPhoto by Scott Webb on UnsplashWhen I was about 14, I was at a big group sleepover with my friends. The mother of the girl who was hosting it was very strict about health, and she told us that we couldn’t order any pizza until we had eaten the massive fruit platter she had prepared for us. No one was touching the platter other than taking a few pieces to snack on.
It was getting late, the pizza place would be closing soon, and her mom was not budging about her rule. Someone needed to step up, and that someone was me. I started devouring the fruit platter, shoving pieces into my mouth and swallowing them without chewing. This was a platter for about eight people, but I was a woman on a mission.
We ended up getting pizza, but I got so sick I spent most of the night throwing up. I couldn’t even enjoy the pizza cause I was so full.
49. Flesh Tunnel
I went to a girls' sleepover when I was in elementary school for a friend's birthday. We had a great time laughing and telling scary stories before bed. I woke up the next morning with a fever and terrible nausea. I went home and I was only getting worse. I had a huge spot on my leg right in the middle between my ankle and knee. It was hot, puffy, and red.
I went to the hospital. The doctor initially thought I was bitten by a spider, but it turned out I was suffering from a really bad staph infection. The night before, we were playing on the stairs, when I slipped and scraped my leg. The infection was spreading fast and was eating away at my flesh. I had a tunnel up to my knee cap that had to be packed with fresh gauze every day. I almost lost my leg.
50. Whirling Dervish?
grayscale photo of smiling boyPhoto by Komang Gita Krishna Murti on UnsplashI had a friend that I would sleepover with relatively often. One night after we had gone to sleep, he turned a lamp on, stood directly in front of the area where I was sleeping, and just spun in place while making weird noises. I asked him what he was doing and he talked about being possessed. I laughed because I thought it was funny. He kept going for about an hour, long after I had expressed that I was tired and asked him to stop.
He kept saying that he couldn’t since he was possessed. Eventually, I turned over and tried to fall asleep, despite it all. The following morning, he insisted that it had not happened. He had never walked in his sleep during a sleepover before, and to my knowledge, he didn't make a habit of it. No matter how much I pressed, he wouldn't admit to doing it. It was very disjointed and unsettling.
It's been said we're in a post truth era.
Deep fakes, AI and social media easily allow people to distort reality.
And while it's long been a criticism that politicians lie, never has it seemed so blatant and obvious.
So having a good internal lie detector is a valuable trait.
Reddit user YoungTex asked:
"What’s a tell tale sign someone is bullshitting you?"
The Devil is in the Details
"They're somehow full of—and lacking—specific information at the same time."
- CallMeAmyA
"I had a mythomaniac ex-boyfriend 18 years ago. I learned to recognize a lie when he spontaneously gave unnecessary details that each time related to an element of our life or something that I had spoken to him about shortly before.
"'Yes I collected the mail, I opened the mailbox around 3 p.m. but it was only ads so I threw them away, there was the catalog of such and such supermarket and the program of the town festival'."
"He hadn't picked up the mail. I had just told him a few days before that I was waiting for the program of the village festival."
"I was disappointed that he threw it away, but, amazing! We got it in the mailbox a few days later! They must have sent it twice?"
"'I don't know why the electricity is off! Yet I paid, I sent the check last Tuesday, I even went to drop it off at the post office so that it would arrive faster, did you know the teller at the post office is pregnant?'"
"We had our electricity cut off because he had not paid, and I was pregnant."
"'No, I was at work, I talked to my colleague Benjamin, he told me about his daughter who is 8 months old and has eczema, Benjamin even wrote me down the name of a cream that he advises'."
"We had a baby who had eczema, and my unemployed ex claimed to have started a new job while spending his days smoking pot in the woods."
"He was pretending everyday to go to work and had taken the business card of a random salesman named Benjamin, on which he had himself written the name of some eczema cream he saw on TV."
- Celeste_Praline
Trust Me Bro
"[they say] You can trust me"
- Total-Fly-9131
"'Ain't going to lie to you...'. You're about to be lied to."
- regular6drunk7
There's a Whole Lot of Falling Going On
"They enter the ER with something up their arse."
- llimed
"Generally I make allowances for people to bullsh*t me if they are just trying to save their dignity and it isn't hurting anyone. And who knows, maybe they really did fall on it. That has to be true of at least one person in the history of time, right?"
- aridcool
"Imagine being the guy who actually has a genuine accident in the shower. Your butt, elbow, and head hurt, you’re soaking wet, the shampoo has disappeared, and you’re lying on the cold tiles as the realization dawns that nobody is ever going to believe you…"
- AlpineSnail
No Questions!
"They get really b*tchy when you question what they're telling you"
- detective_kiara
"Not always. I get really annoyed when someone doesn’t believe me when I’m telling the truth."
- fokureddit69
"I've dealt with both sides of this from the same person. She'd blow any criticism, scrutiny, or disagreement out of proportion and inevitably have some reason up her sleeve for why her behavior was my fault. She would also accuse me of ridiculous things and would constantly twist my words in hurtful ways while acting like she didn't understand what I meant. To top it all off, she claimed that her therapist told her my annoyance and frustration always meant I was lying. It's like I was supposed to accept my words being twisted and my character being attacked. I got frustrated because I had to explain my words over and over and defend myself for things I didn't say or do. Total mindf**k and of course we would never resolve any issues."
- chiknfingaz
Rather Unhinged
"It is super easy to tell when my mom lies. She gets super defensive and her voice turns high pitched. Sometime she just starts yelling if you are completely straight faced"
- Waifu_Slayer1
"My ex was the same - flew off the handle in defence. Kinda interesting when I picked up on it as it meant I knew what was a lie and what wasn’t!"
- Resident__feeble
You Asked Me a Question?
"The ask the question you just asked back to you. 'Are you really a doctor?'
"''Am I really a doctor?' Definitely not a doctor."
- DevinBelow
- Mysterious-Dance-139
"I've heard this one several times. For some reason, they don't want to fully commit to the lie and say a blatant falsehood, so they strongly insinuate it without actually saying it.
"'WHAAAAAT? You think -I- did it?'"
- Black-Thirteen
Insults! Get Your Insults!
"They insult you when you are trying to clarify something with them. They try to avoid the question and suddenly start confronting YOU instead, and thats when you know they don't like you and have been bullsh*tting you from the start"
- dooboodd_
"Yeah they always try to turn it back to you and make you feel like the bad guy"
- LizeFaith
Too Good
"When it sounds to good to be true, it's most probably not true."
- I_wood_rather_be
Who Really Knows?
"I honestly have a hard time telling when people are lying unless I really know the person."
- Elle12881
"So does everyone. The only people who claim to know someone is lying are....lying to themselves."
"Some people don't like eye contact because it makes them uncomfortable."
"Some people overshare or give tons of useless details."
"Some people are fidgety when doing literally anything."
"Some people cover their mouth for a variety of reasons from shyness to being self conscious or having bad teeth/breath."
"If you don't know how a person behaves all the time then you're working solely off personal bias in claiming someone is lying. The best part, is there are people who do this for a living! They work solely for the prosecution teams in the courts because you can literally always point to someone's normal human behaviors and go, 'they are lying because they played with their hair when talking about what they had for dinner.' And people eat that sh*t up."
"The only way to know someone is lying is to know them when they aren't, and most of us are lying a lot."
- ThatsBushLeague
Remember: Not Everyone Communicates The Same
"i have adhd, i overexplain a tonne and it always sounds like i’m lying"
- Nethii120700
"same… reading this thread has me worried that everyone thinks i'm a liar because i exhibit a lot of these expressions, & i actually have experienced/known people who’ve experienced crazy unbelievable stuff happen to them, verifiably… but now that i think of it, probably no one may believe some of my stories lmao!"
- elfcountess
"'Some people don't like eye contact because it makes them uncomfortable.' I have that problem, and it sometimes make people think I'm dishonest with them."
- deleted user
There's No Sure-Fire Way
"Christ, I hate sh*t like this. Some doof will say 'when they look to the left before, while, or after making a statement' and then a million subdoofs spend the next few years fronting like they are Sam Jackson in Negotiator and accusing non-liars of lying."
- Decabet
"I tick a lot of the 'how to pick a liar' boxes… and unfortunately it‘d made me hyper aware of my body language, which I think makes me look even more guilty."
"I’ve got PTSD and a really spotty long term memory - I forget details of places, peoples names, events. I get mixed up in my mind where and when things happened. I’m not actively lying… but I forget."
"I’ll be able to tell you a detailed story about the time monkeys stole my brother’s skateboard, but I can’t remember whether it happened in Malaysia or Singapore, or which brother it happened to."
"I stumble over my words a lot unless I practice what I’m going to say beforehand… I’ll also forget what I’m talking about halfway through a conversation. Sometimes I’ll forget I’m even talking to someone."
"I struggle to make eye contact with people when I’m talking to them, and I use a lot of hand gestures and placeholder words (um, like, so etc.)"
- FormalMango
There's really no 100% accurate way to tell if someone is lying to you unless they tell you. People's communication styles are too different to be able to tell every time. But some of these examples are definitely a good place to start if you think someone might be fibbing.
Unfortunately, we can't all get along with everyone. Sometimes, we don't mesh with people. Other times, we did get along until we got burned by the other people one too many times.
And sometimes, they do something that bothers you so much that you hate them instantly.
For me, it's a co-worker who says they will complete a task, then pass it off to me at the last minute since they know I'm too shy to say no. I don't mind doing the work; I'd just like to that I have to do it before the deadline.
I tend not to be friendly to those co-workers. It stops them from trying to pull that again.
Redditors have identified the behaviors that make them instantly hate someone and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor meulinlalondeowo asked:
"What's something that someone can do, that makes you instantly hate them?"
Don't Be A Slob
"Coworkers that don't clean up after themselves, leaving their personal crap for others to pick up."
– TiredOfEveryting
"This drives me crazy at my work place. The break room is always a mess. People leaving their things in the good spots and making it seem like they're saving the spot and then just don't come back. Leaving the tables dirty and sticky after they're done eating. Never pushing their chairs in."
"Like, yeah, we have cleaning staff but they aren't waiting around to clean up after every person. And even if they were, youre a f**king adult and should wipe up your own damn messes."
– StinkyKittyBreath
Not Funny
"Pranking someone in a way that deeply upsets them then laugh in their face"
– WiseOldChicken
"‘It was just a joke, why are you getting upset?’"
– Hellostranger1804
"A long time ago I was working at this cheesy company and they had this thing where the district manager would randomly call one of the offices once a month and ask whoever answered (rotating call system) what the top values of the company were. There was like a list of 5 things. If you got it right, you’d win $1,000."
"Well, one day I got the phone call. My heart was in my throat because I was so nervous, but I knew the answers. I felt like my prayers had been answered. I couldn’t pay my rent, I was always low on gas or completely out of food, I had even gone without heat in my car during Northern winter because I couldn’t afford to fix it. I was always drowning, no matter how hard I worked, with no resources, no credit or help around me—always stressed."
"Well the manager congratulated me for my knowledge and told me I won the thousand dollars. Still on the phone, I felt like a weight lifting off me, a sense of joy and ease coming—until a few people, all guys, came over laughing their a**es off and said it was “Dave” pranking me. I died inside."
"I started crying and yelling how cruel it was to do that. I was a young girl, in my early twenties then and Dave was like in his 40’s, I think. I was in disbelief. I am always friendly to everyone. Why me? They didn’t care how much it upset me. The whole lot of them. I’m 47 now and still remember the disappointing ache I felt in my heart that day more than twenty years ago. F**k you, Dave, and you other fools too, wherever you are!"
– IntrigueMachine
I Didn't Do It!
"Accusing me of something that I didn't do. Brings out instant ire in me."
– Pianowman
""I know you're lying because you're getting defensive about it.""
"rage."
– Kraymur
"They don’t seem to understand the concept that a person being accused of doing something they actually didn’t do would defend themselves."
– Intrepid-Lecture3077
Liar, Liar
"When they are lying, and I know that they are are lying, and they know that I know that they are lying, but they continue the lie."
– TrailerParkPrepper
"You are describing my brother."
"You forgot the part where you call them out on the lie, and they get angry with you because "they're not lying.""
– Pianowman
"My old boss."
"Boss: Why are you doing that?"
"Me: That’s what you said to do."
"Boss: I didn’t say that."
"Me: You said to do exactly this and I have witnesses that can confirm it."
"Boss: ………(storms off angrily) I got fired."
"Best thing that ever happened to me."
– audiorob1210
Just Be Nice
"When someone belittles someone for being excited over something or having a hobby"
"If someone says for example that they love to crochet and they’re excited to spend their day off making a new hat and someone makes fun of them they can get f**ked. No one should be made to feel bad for finding enjoyment in something harmless."
– Mushroomc0wz
"Rain on someone else's rainbow. If someone truly loves something like video games, a film genre, a sport or some other kind of interest/passion etc., and a person goes "that's a bit childish" or "X...is so boring" after they've explained why they love it, that to me is just mean and instantly turns me off."
– Soshedid2991
Animal Cruelty Is Not Okay
"Be cruel to an animal"
– Flimsy-Attention-722
"Throw a rock at a duck. It happened, i hate them."
– ohmyperfection
Litterbug
"litter"
– Flimsy-Attention-722
"I visited NOLA earlier this year and witnessed blatant littering right in front of me for the first time. This guy was walking out of a convenience store opening a candy bar, took the full wrapper off, and tossed it on the ground. Had that person waited 3-4 more strides, it would have literally landed in a trash can. I was bamboozled!"
– Bears_in_the_woods
Family Should Be Respected
"Talking bad about their spouse or children."
– SaiyanGodKing
"There's a guy who started at my work, sh*t talking his wife from day one. I told him he better show his wife some respect. The unfortunate thing is that I think this guy thinks he's just being cool or funny saying these things. But then they had a kid and the "jokes" were suddenly about both of them. He made a crack at them in a meeting with all my coworkers and I piped in and said "Jesus Christ dude, everytime you open your mouth I wanna smack the sh*t out of it""
"Haven't heard a negative thing about his wife or child since. Folks, ITS NOT F**KING COOL"
– JMC1110
My Turn To Talk!
"When they either accidentally or intentionally talk at the same time as someone or just straight up interrupt, they never go, "Oh sorry you go" but instead brute force their talking through."
"A girl in my indoor soccer team used to do this and one time I said to my friend, "The next time she does it, I'm just not going to back down." Next time, she interrupted me it was me and her talking to my friend continuously for like 2 minutes with him losing his mind trying to listen to both of us and at the end of it it was like she was completely unaware."
– SkinkaLei
Respect The Space
"Leaving their shopping cart blocking the entire aisle, totally oblivious to the existence of every other human in the grocery store."
– Dynamo_Ham
"Also, people who leave their shopping carts in the parking lot. Especially when blocking an open parking space."
– khelwen
"So brutal. Just callous pointless conduct that takes at most 15 seconds of effort to fix. Why?"
– Dynamo_Ham
"I love this so much! I'll find another unattended, sideways cart and swap a couple pretty noticeable items between them. Then when dipsh*t finally wanders back they just stare in hilarious confusion; they're pretty sure this was their cart, but the case of water is gone and they didn't grab that bottle of wine that's sitting on top so maybe it isn't. You can practically see the steam coming out their ears as they struggle to process it."
"Shopping with idiots used to be a huge source of stress, but I've found ways to make it entertaining."
– Belphegorite
Drive Safe
"Not use a turn signal."
"F**k you you piece of sh*t. I don't care what the f**king reason is. USE YOUR F**KING TURN SIGNAL."
– MickCollins
"And do it correctly."
"Can't tell you how many times I see a lane switch and when the car is already half way over the line will they grace us with a single half blink."
– AngelOfDeath771
I can't tell you how many times I screamed at other drivers (in my head) for not using turn signals. It's no joke!
Do you have any items to add to the list let us know in the comments below.
Men and women and talking and flirting.
What a disaster that can be.
It's especially tricky when men flirt with women who are into women.
It sounds like a lot of gents can't take that obvious hint.
How this is STILL an issue in 2023 is beyond us all.
But here we are.
Gentlemen, please sit and read the following.
And then read it again.
Then share with your friends and male family.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, I’m gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia… but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. We’d established countless times over the last year that we weren’t into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I weren’t he wouldn’t go for me, yada yada. We’d talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought I’d had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friend’s input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but I’m bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say I’m not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you don’t look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize I’m NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
Individual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.