Why is it that some of the most unsettling things happen when we're alone at home?
Probably, at least that's the hope.
Because someone with a burlap sack over their head with two eye holes cut out and attempting a home invasion would be an undesirable situation.
"What is the creepiest thing that has ever happened while you were home alone?"
Someone was trying to break into these Redditors' homes.
It Wasn't The Stepdad
"My brother and I were home from school because we were sick. We had a craftroom in the mostly unfinished basement and we were down there playing with miniatures. Around noon we heard, VERY CLEARLY, the front door unlock, open, close, and someone walk in shoes across the foyer tile to the kitchen and turn on the sink."
"They then turned off the sink and went up the stairs to the second floor. I figured it was my step dad and called my mum to let her know he came home for lunch."
"She had just got off the phone with my step dad and he was in his office at work. She called him back and he came ripping home while we hid in the basement. Although we never heard the person come back down the stairs we didn't find anyone in the house."
Early Morning Disruption
"Someone started trying to force the door of my small garage apartment open, while I was laying in bed inches from the door, at around 2am."
Evidence Of Forced Entry
"Years ago, a stranger smelled weed outside my apartment and knocked on my door. They wanted to join and smoke. I apologized and said no."
"Later that night, I left to go out. When I came home my air conditioner was knocked in and there were signs of someone trying to force entry."
"I wasn't technically alone as someone else was in the house, but because of his medication, he couldn't do anything to help if there was an emergency."
"I was downstairs with my husband snoring beside me. I heard from the top of our basement stairs 'Hello?... Hello?... Is everybody okay?.' I went up to figure out who it was and thought maybe we'd accidentally left a door open somehow."
"Searched everywhere, nothing even slightly amiss. Made a phone call and also got my neighbor over. Both doors were shut and locked. Did a thorough check behind every door, the tub, under furniture, etc. Nothing. No one."
"This has happened several times and my only explanation is that it's our neighbor. For some reason, when we're in the basement, everything our neighbor does sounds like it's in our townhouse. Though I still have no idea why he's walking around his own house calling out 'Hello' and asking if everyone is okay."
These Redditors had it ruff and later had a laugh.
"I was awoken in the middle of the night to something pulling on my comforter at the foot of my bed. I look down the foot of my bed and see this three or four foot shadow figure trying to climb on my bed. I panicked thinking I was about to get murdered. I flipped on the light to find my 15lbs dog trying to drag my 4 foot teddy bear onto my bed. It was terrifying in the moment, now I just find it hilarious."
The Hairy Entity
"I was in my late 20s possibly early 30s when i woke up to see this black mass staring at me on my bed in the dark. I was terrified. I threw the blankets over my head and I was shaking. I peaked out after what seemed like an eternity and was licked. It was my black ungroomed schnauzer."
"It was like 2am and I had to take my dog out to go to the bathroom. As I’m standing out in the yard, I notice there’s this really big dude walking down the sidewalk towards my house."
"The big dude looks over toward me and screams 'Hey! Come over here, right now.' He sounded really pissed and I definitely did not go over to him. I locked myself in the house and watched him from inside."
"He was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk just staring at my house and looked really mad. As I’m watching him, two cars pull up to the curb and a bunch of people get out and join him to stair angrily at my house."
"I’m very confused at this point because I don’t have any enemies and I wasn’t sure what all these people wanted with me."
"The guy who originally scream at me starts walking toward my house and screams 'I said come over here! Right now!'"
"At that moment, my motion activated light on my porch went on and I could see a giant goofy looking dog sitting on my porch. The dog sprinted away when the light went on and the big dude went chasing him up the street. The people got back in the cars and chased after the dog too."
"As it turns out it the big goofy dog was their family pet and it had escaped from their house. It saw me in the yard with my dog and was running towards me to play (I never even saw it until the light came on). The big dude was just yelling at his dog, not me. The people in the cars were his family members trying to help catch the dog."
"I actually saw them walking down the street a few days later and introduced myself. Both the dog and man were very friendly. It was a happy ending for an initially creepy situation."
"Slightly similar, I looked out my window and it was and episode of black mirror with 15 people standing in front of my home and people in their cars all looking down at their phone emotionless… Pokémon gym is in front of my house apparently."
It Was A Scream
"As I'm laying on the couch watching TV late at night, I hear a tapping on glass. I brush it off, only to have it happen again about a minute or so later. I turn to look out our sliding glass back door, which had always given me the creeps with its no blinds or lighting in the back yard, to see of all things someone standing outside wearing a scream costume."
"My mind started racing as to who it might be, perhaps one of my sister's friends? I wasn't about to go outside and find out! They slinked away into darkness before I found my nerve. Turns out my 70 yo grandma decided to scare the sh*t out of me lol."
People recalled their hair-raising events.
"So I lived in an apartment by myself. And every once in a while I'd be about to fall asleep and I'd feel a weight next to me as if someone else got into the bed (it was a queen size bed). So at the time I was dating a woman who would sleep over from time to time but I never mentioned this to her. So one night while she was over I had to leave due to a family emergency. I told her it's okay if she sleeps at mine alone if she would like and that I would be back the next day. I get home that morning and she tells me 'the weirdest thing happened last night, as I was falling asleep I thought you had come home and gotten into bed with me bc I definitely felt someone get into bed on the other side, but when I opened my eyes you weren't here.' Freaked me the f'k out."
"My neighbor shot 2 people in his house. Then proceeded to hide the gun behind my house. I was home and watched him out the window. I didn't know what he was doing at the time. It wasn't until later I found out what had happened. The victims both died."
"Once was watching arachnophobia as a 13 year old on Halloween. Went to go to bed, got a little nervous because of the movie, decided to just shake out my bedspread. Found a solid 3 inch wolf spider sitting like an Andes mint on my pillow. Slept in the bathtub that night. Idk why that felt safe but it did."
"I was about 10 or 11 years old. We had woods behind our house. My parents were out one night, and I heard a shriek from the woods. My blood ran cold and I called my parents immediately. While on the phone, the terrifying scream happened again from the woods, and my mom could actually hear it from the phone."
"Later we figured out it was a fox."
"What does the fox say? Apparently foxes scream like someone getting murdered."
The Unstoppable Chair
"I was 11 or 12 yrs old. Internet was not a thing on my country yet, but the first PCs with Windows 98 came in and we have one at home. I was playing with wordart (yeah, good times tho) at like 12pm, then suddenly a chair from the kitchen table start to shakking, like with violence. Of course nobody was there. I ran out to the frontyard and wait for my mom to come home, she was there by 1pm."
"20 years later I still don't know how the f'k the chair was moving like that, because a lot of thing that happens to us when we were kids have a reasonable explanation. This on the other hand could be my mind playing with me but never happen again and i was a normal kid with normal parents and friends, no traumas or psychologic problems."
If you're alone and not expecting anyone and you suddenly hear the front door rattling, would you check to see who it is through the viewfinder or pretend you're not home?
I pretended I wasn't alone once under the circumstances.
When I heard someone trying to open the door to my apartment several years back, I faked a conversation with someone who wasn't there to ward off the possible intruder.
I never found out if it was a tenant mistakenly arriving at the wrong apartment or a complete stranger who managed to bypass the secured vestibule door to the building. But I wasn't going to find out if my apartment was going to be broken into by somone who assumed no one would be home.
Time to invest in a Ring doorbell cam, I suppose.
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We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.
Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.
Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
A What Hole ?
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
Chew Works Too
"Especially at the dinner table.."
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
"This is the winner."
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphy
Lets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
Playing Around With Speed
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphy
Fortunella Sounds Fancier
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
"That's a good one"
The 'L' Is Important
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeawhomer simpson GIFGiphy
You Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
"I was looking for these two."
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
So Many Botanical Puns
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.
Some folks, however, are not as self-aware.
These individuals could care less about other people and they act like the world is their nasty, unkempt, malodorous, living room.
Curious to hear examples of gross behavior, Redditor Dazzling_Age_4795 asked:
"What's the most disgusting bad habit?"
No one wants to see it, yet, here we are.
"Taking a dump and then not flushing in public toilets."
"I work in reception in a dental office, our Covid protocols included having wipe down the bathroom after each person. The amount of pee I’ve had to wipe off the seat and floor is absolutely disgusting. People are pigs- wipe the damn seat if your aim is that awful!!! They knew too, the intense stare down I gave them when exiting the bathroom, oh they knew."
Lazy Pet Owners
"Dog poop ( living in holland ) drives me crazy how much is just lying around. Disguisting habit for dog owners to just not care to clean it up. Which is in fact mandatory but hey... if no one sees it, its not a crime."
"People who don’t pick up their dog’s poop don’t deserve to have a dog. I also hate seeing bags of dog sh*t left on the ground. Like why bag it and just leave it there? It’s actually better for the environment if you don’t put it in the bag, lazy."
The Gross Collection
"Keeping your booger wall in plain sight where guests can see it."
"I once saw a person picking their ear and eating the wax. That sh*ts even worse then picking and eating out of your nose."
Those without any concept of having respect for their environment are very telling of the type of person they are.
Trashing The Place
"Those folk who buy cigarettes and casually walk around unwrapping and dropping plastic as they go... God I hate those guys."
Driving Smokers Suck
"People smoking while driving seem to almost always throw their cigarette butt out the window without a care in the world."
And those who don't have any respect for others in public got majorly slammed.
"Not sure if it's a 'habit', per se, but those people that have their phones on speaker ALL THE WAY UP casually talking on the train, in the grocery store, and in restaurants. I do not want to hear about your mother's bunion."
"Dude for real. I go to the library every once in a while for some quiet time.. the number of people who talk on their phone is ridiculous. Half the time if you go up to them and ask if they could be quieter or take it to the lobby they act like you're the rude one."
Clogging The Shower
"Taking a sh*t in the shower and pushing it into the drain... I knew people who did that, safe to say I don't anymore."
A Crappy Confession
"I’ve got to be honest, I farted once and a nugget, maybe the size of a pickled onion, fell out whilst I was taking a shower. As the particular bathroom I was in had the toilet in a separate room I decided the safest option for me was to squish the turd into the drain with my foot."
"I’m not proud but sometimes it has to be done."
"For clarity, I do not condone purposely dropping a full sh*t in the shower."
– User Deleted
Germy COVID Hands
"Not washing hands after using the bathroom, especially in public. Like at a restaurant."
Look, I know we all have our quirks, but I'm just not a nail-chewing and booger-flicking stan.
It's not like people with these habits are deliberately trying to inconvenience my life. But...they are.
I don't need to be stepping on nail remnants and dried-up balls of nose mucus with my barefeet.
So, what gross habits and/or behavior really gets your blood boiling?
People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.
And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.
But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.
And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.
Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:
"What is your best swear word alternative?"
"Oh neptune."- StrappinYoungZiltoid
The last thing you want to find in your bed!
Instead of rude, be educational!
"I said this instead of… other words once when I tripped and accidentally taught this to my nephew."
"Now my sister sends me videos of my nephew saying it when things don’t go his way."- YellowForest4Warning GIFGiphy
Think of the children!
"Not sure of an actual word, but my bf and I have been trying to limit cursing since my toddler is becoming very verbal."
"He’s resorted to making very angry yelling caveman sounds when he wants to curse someone out rather than using the actual words."- Present-Lime-1244
"I like, 'slug in a ditch'."- spiked_macaroonslug GIFGiphy
We can always learn a thing or two from the kids...
"A child in my class tries to swear but unintentionally says foot instead of f*ck."
"It's probably my favorite alternative."
"Wow, didn't expect this to get so much attention."
"Thank you for the award! "
"For those asking, he is a very tiny child with a deep yorkshire accent who actually picked up the word from another child but hasn't noticed he doesn't have the pronunciation quite right yet."
"Context wise though he's bang on which makes it even funnier."- sophishx
Just one word won't do!
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, LARRY?!"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!"- KevinBillyStinkwater
Be mindful, it could backfire
"When my son was little he started saying bastard so I kept saying custard."
"Until the day he complained that we were having bananas and bastard again."- CheeryShortarseDoctor Who Snack GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
Mother knows best.
"My mother always said, 'Curses!'"
"We, the kids, laugh about it all the time."- tenzip10-0
If you feel like you've sufficiently got your anger or frustration out of your system, your choice of words served their purpose.
Whether or not they would have to be bleeped out on network TV.
When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry."
"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.
Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.
Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:
"What's the most bada** villain quote?"
Benedict from Last Action Hero
"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"
"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Marktlast action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
"Pirates are evil?"
"The Marines are righteous?"
"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"
"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"
"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"
"This very place is neutral ground!"
"Justice will prevail, you say?"
"But of course it will!"
"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie
The Man with the Midas Touch...
"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'
"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_StudlyInterrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
The Last Airbender's Azula
"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."
"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan
Inigo Montoya, watch out!
"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"
"-the six fingered man."
Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul
“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."
"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94
The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners
"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."
"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680
Whiterose of Mr. Robot
“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64
The final frontier indeed...
"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."
"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."
"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingersDeep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy
A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.
But it's with their words that they really get you.
And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.