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People Describe The Creepiest Thing They've Ever Seen In Broad Daylight

When there is light there is no danger.

That is the belief we've all been fed,

But the truth is... the daytime hours are some of the most dangerous.


Redditordcarp1231wanted to hear about all in the horror stories that took place NOT in the dark of night.

They asked:

"What’s the creepiest/most unexplained thing you’ve seen in broad daylight?"

Danger has no time zone. So be ready...

jump in...

im okay hey arnold GIF by NickelodeonGiphy

"I was a kid about 15 seen some old man looked about 70 he opened up a sewer grate and just hopped in."

jdog_woof1234

Turn on Red

"Weird intersection near my house that about 3 months ago started to be torn down for being too dangerous, replaced by a roundabout Funny thing is, it was a normal intersection 4 directions, 2 lanes in 2 lanes out with dedicated left turn lanes. Except, just about every week, SOMEONE crashed there. Every month we'd hear of a near fatality or worse."

"Police couldn't figure it out so they started to petition for them to change it, they changed the light pattern and reduced speeds, which brought total crashes down but here's the f**ked thing serious injuries tripled! it got so bad they posted cops permanently to Monitor the intersection, and what they noticed was, If they watched the intersection, non stop, nothing would happen but the INSTANT you'd take you eyes off it someone would speed through a red light or make a left turn on red."

"They then finally tried one last thing, remove 2 of the lights, in favor of stop signs on 1 of the roads First day there was a multi car pile up Second day there was a minivan roll over 3rd day the mayor's daughter hit someone going 50 Day 4, intersection was closed for construction."

bretttexe

All three of us stopped...

"2008 mountain bike race in The mid-west. It was 100 degrees that day. Almost no oxygen on the woods. It was a hot day. Three of us were well ahead of the pack. We were about to lap another racer when he just rode off the trail and down a steep ravine. All three of us stopped. The ravine was steep and very deep. We found his bike half way down. We never found the racer. They sent search party and found nothing. To this day he’s never been found."

-Economist-

Flopping

"I was walking along the greenway in Boston when I saw a man some distance away, walking in the opposite direction with a completely floppy right arm. Like everything below the elbow was just boneless and his forearm was flapping around all loose. He was wearing a short sleeve shirt so i don’t think it could have been a prosthetic or some kind gag. No one else around him was reacting to it."

daryl_cary

The Whistle

champions league football GIF by VfL WolfsburgGiphy

"Not me, but my Dad. He was outside at the far end of the yard and saw me standing on the stairs, whistling for him to come back to the house."

"When he got back inside he asked what was up and why I changed my shirt. I hadn't been outside, didn't hear any whistling, and was wearing the same black shirt I'd been wearing all day, not the white shirt he saw "me" wearing when he saw me outside a few minutes earlier."

Go_Ask_Alyss

Well now napping will be haunted by nightmares. There is so safe hour.

SMILE

Happy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy

"A tooth just materialized on my kitchen counter one day. Asked around all my family and nobody lost any teeth, no kids lost any teeth, I never lost any teeth, no clue where this tooth came from, it just appeared one afternoon."

Ultimator4

NO!

"When I was a teenager, I was at a friends house when his parents and family were not home. I was on his back porch tying my shoes then I went back into his house. Tying my shoes, a 20 second action. NO! I walk inside and his entire family is back home and they’re sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and they ask me what I am doing here?!"

"They’re staring at me like I am crazy and asking why I just walked into their house. I ask for the time, they tell me it is 6:30 PM. I lost an entire hour doing a 20 second action. To this day I still have no clue what happened or where the time went."

ionlywanttheneck

"crazy stories"

"When I was a little girl, I was playing in my room one morning with my sister. I looked out my window and saw a man staring in at us. I told my sister to leave my room and ran to get my father. He didn't believe me and thought I was crazy. Needless to say, I had an awful hard time sleeping that night."

"Throughout my childhood, I'd hear what sounded like footsteps outside at night, or my parent's car doors opening long after they had went to sleep. Several years later, I looked at our house on Google maps. I always assumed we lived by ourselves in the woods, far from anyone else."

"It turns out there was a small house that looked like it was being lived in only a few hundred yards in the woods from us. My family was less skeptical of my 'crazy stories' after I showed them that."

SnooSquirrels4093

‘stolen my face'

"Crossing at a busy intersection and seeing my perfect double walk towards me. We basically eyes-locked until we passed each other. A total mindf**k. Even more disturbing. Instead of stopping and chatting and being amused by the entire biological coincidence. My immediate subconscious reaction was a massive rising internal rage that someone, somehow had ‘stolen my face.' Very, very weird."

Basher57

Colors

Design Love GIF by TrippyogiGiphy

"When I was a kid there was a field near my house in rural Florida that glowed rainbow colors. The grass had different shades of color, all day long. That field got bought up and bulldozed decades ago for a farm however."

KGhaleon

The moon, the sun, the stars, the the clouds... all can lead to trauma.

Always be ready...


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The Most Unprofessional Employees
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Being a professional and acting like one are, unfortunately, two different things. Although one expects a certain level of responsibility and decorum in the workplace, that isn't always the case. Some people throw caution—and their careers—to the wind by acting terribly. Keep reading to discover some of the most unprofessional employees these Redditors have ever seen while on the job.

1. All That Glitters Isn’t Gold

A girl I worked with hated our manager, so she mailed a glitter bomb to the store with the manager’s name on it. The device worked as intended. The manager opened it, and was coated in sparkles. The co-worker who mailed it was there and began to laugh uncontrollably over it.

During her laughter, she basically confessed that she did it because she hated the manager. So the manager fired her. Then, they got into a huge argument about not being able to lawfully fire someone over a joke. The co-worker eventually stormed off, and I got to clean up the glitter.

F0000r

2. Bottle And Canned

I had an employee—a nurse—who was drinking on the job. She would sneak booze in a plastic water bottle. We became suspicious when she began behaving erratically. Then, we noticed that she was extremely possessive of her water bottle, and she never let it leave her sight or let anyone else near it. But then one day, she finally slipped up.

She left it at her desk when she went to the bathroom. So, we sniffed it, and she was busted. That woman was a hot mess.

BronzeVicious

3. Rubbed Out Of A Job

person in green pants sitting on white textilePhoto by Vanessa on Unsplash

An employee kept rubbing a pregnant co-worker’s belly three times after being asked to stop. Then, he asked her if her husband was good in the sack. I fired him, and he asked if we could still be friends, to which I said, “No”. He then tried to file for unemployment after only working there for three weeks part-time.

kcrh36

4. Wreck And Roll

I was part of a group of IT contractors who were put together for a large international project. The client would get us apartments to live in at each implementation site for 6-12 months. A member of my team got into a disagreement with the CTO when he came to visit our site. This resulted in her screaming personal attacks at him in the hallway when he tried to step outside to de-escalate the argument.

She was fired on the spot. Her reaction was chilling. She proceeded to go back to the apartment provided by the company and completely wreck it. The site was in the middle of the desert, and she had opened all of the windows and doors, turned the AC on max, stopped all of the drains and turned the water on, and threw red nail polish all over the bathroom. It was the most extreme breakdown in a professional environment I'd ever seen.

83-Edition

5. The Gasbag Was A Goner

When I was in a meeting with some people that came up from Netflix, one of the women from sales—who didn't even need to be there but was often very pushy about getting into meetings and usually got her way—let one rip, and it stunk BAD. It was a relatively small boardroom, and it got quite hot during the winter. So, this normally unpleasant room was now filled with an extremely unpleasant odor.

It was a scent that painted a picture of an abandoned old folks home, where the trash bags of dirty diapers and moldy soft foods were left to sit and rot away in the building. It was a very obvious stench, to say the least, and we all heard it and knew who it came from. However, as mature adults in their place of work, obviously, no one said anything.

The meeting continued until the woman who passed gas, overwhelmed with embarrassment, interrupted the meeting in order to blame the indiscretion on one of the Netflix people. It was extremely awkward, completely derailed the meeting, and I believe even legitimately angered both people from Netflix. She was fired before the Netflix people headed back to LA.

pro_tool

6. High Volume Vacancy

selective focus photography of colored pencils in mugPhoto by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

A few years ago, I worked at a restaurant, and we had an annoying new hire. They were one of those "I'm too good for this” types. It was this kid's first job and their first day out of training. One of his tables was a family with two small children, who were being obnoxious, but it was a family restaurant, so that was to be expected.

While walking away from the table, he muttered something along the lines of, "Shut up your kids". Except he didn't actually mutter those words, he spoke them at a normal volume. The mother overheard and was not pleased. He was sent home and invited not to return.

ann-ette

7. Shut Down And Fired!

I worked in pizza delivery, and we had a guy—a fellow manager—who tried to shut down the store five hours before the time that corporate had set for us to close. He clocked every person out and sent them home, then just refused to take any phone calls or anything like that. He was immediately fired after our boss found out, and he even tried to come to work the next day like everything was fine.

MAZ0N

8. His Job Went Down The Toilet

One of our warehouse workers was a young man about 25 years old. He was suspected of having a substance problem, mostly because of absenteeism and because he just seemed off at times. One day, he called our office manager from the back parking lot of our building and said that he had an upset stomach and had pooped in his pants.

She told him that she would try to find a change of clothes to bring out to him. I wish he’d listened. Instead, he ran into the building and into the bathroom off the lobby, trailing poo that was smeared on his shoes onto the floor. He then took off the soiled pants and left them in the bathroom, and ran back outside to his car. At that point, everyone else in the small office was running outside to escape the horrible smell.

Our office manager found a pair of pants in someone's locker and took them to where the guy was parked. However, she turned around when she saw him standing beside his car with no pants or underwear on. While everyone else was figuring out how to deal with the poo in the office, the guy got in his car and left. He showed up three days later as if nothing had happened. He was told to head back home.

frazzledinptc

9. Keep On Driving!

silver Nissan Skyline GT-R coupe parkingPhoto by Wassim Chouak on Unsplash

A co-worker of mine—who was a little bit too into his car—got snapped doing twice the speed limit. Instead of pulling over for the patrol car behind him, he decided to run for it. He led the authorities on a chase to the office and shook them off by hiding in the underground parking. The general manager watched it happen from his office. He took the elevator down, found the co-worker's car, and told him not to bother getting out.

I_throw_socks_at_cat

10. Party’s Over

I came to open the restaurant and found that things weren't quite right. Things like there were way more glasses left on the end of the bar than would be normal for after-shift drinks, and there were quite a few barstools and chairs that were not flipped up on the bar or table. When I went towards the office, I spotted a sink broken off the wall in a staff-only bathroom. But that wasn’t the worst part.

The office by that bathroom had a chair in it that had poo mashed into the seat with a ridge line running down the middle of it to resemble a rear-end crack. At that point, I was like, "What happened here last night"? and walked out of the office area back to the restaurant floor, where I noticed a disheveled-looking waitress sleeping on one of the booth benches.

The cleaning crew would come in early, and one of them then told me that one of the managers was there when he arrived. He woke up from the noise but was completely trashed, and the cleaning crew found him taking a leak on the empty kegs stacked outside the cold room before he stumbled out. We contacted the owners, and they came in to see what on earth had happened.

They were confused because the manager who was seen waking up was not working the night before. It turned out that he and some of his friends came by at closing time the night before and started carrying on with an after-party with the staff who were on duty. The manager who worked that night was convinced he could go home when he was done with his work, as the partying manager said he would lock up.

We assumed that the manager got busy with the waitress on the chair in the office because that spot was out of view from the windows and security cameras. The manager who was working got reamed out and narrowly avoided losing his job for such poor judgment. The waitress got suspended for a week. The trashed manager must've been passed out because he didn't respond. He came in at around 2 PM, still pretty trashed, apologizing and saying he didn't know what happened. He tried to clean the poo off of the chair with paper towels, then was promptly fired.

tacknosaddle

11. Her Job Was A Smash Up

I worked as a bartender at a restaurant. I was cashing out a waitress who decided to enter the bar to "make herself a smoothie". After fumbling around, she dropped a glass from the hanger, and it smashed all over the counter. I told her she was going to have to clean it up before I could finish cashing her out. She then begged me for her tips, saying that she needed them right away, as her friend to whom she owed money was waiting outside.

She told me that she was going to deliver the money, then come back and clean it up. She never came back, and I had to replace all the ice and all of the fruit garnishes on a busy weekend night because of broken bits of glass that landed all over. Of course, the manager came over to ask me why the drink tickets were 10 minutes long, and I told him what had happened.

He then immediately went into the schedule and gave all her future shifts away to others. The waitress called the restaurant not even five minutes later to ask why her shifts had been forcibly given away, and the manager replied, "Cause you're fired", and hung up.

MonkeyDaFist

12. Hung Up On Racy Vids

a man sitting at a desk in an officePhoto by Arlington Research on Unsplash

I fired a guy who was in his mid-20s during his first week for browsing and downloading racy videos at work while on his lunch break. He did it on a computer located in a large open room that other people worked in at a government organization. I had caught him red-handed and warned him not to do it, already thinking this guy was going to be fired at the end of the day, but I had to go through the proper channels. Well, my ordeal was just beginning.

Then, two hours later, he did it again at the same place. At that point, I had the VPs approval to just fire him and deal with the paperwork after the weekend, so I let him go. He was shocked and didn’t say much. Being the only manager on site, I took screenshots of the sites he visited and forwarded them off to HR and the VP to document it all.

A few days later, the guy's father called the VP to complain about his son being fired. Apparently, the fired employee never thought his being fired on the day he was busted for browsing raunchy videos on a government computer in a government office was a reason to be fired, and he never told his irate father about that.

So the VP dealt with this very diplomatically, saying the employee was viewing inappropriate content at work, was warned, and continued the bad behavior. His father didn’t accept the explanation, so the VP started reading off the list of the sites that were visited. The real kicker was that the VP believed that the fired employee was listening in on his father’s conversation via another phone. Just as the sites were being read off, there was a very audible click of another phone being hung up.

imrite11

13. Steered Out The Door

I worked in auto sales. One of our salesmen always seemed to be up to something. Between lying to customers, substance problems, and constant issues at home, he was impossible to manage. Unfortunately, he was the type that gave the rest of us a bad name. Eventually, he got into it with our general sales manager, and his go-to was to start making fun of our GSM’s handicapped son. The GSM took him to an office, told him he was let go, and walked out, even though I know inside he was boiling with rage.

daaabears23

14. Cutting Ties

I had to send a guy to a remote gas/petroleum refinery site for an inspection. He had previously been reliable on most occasions. However, on this occasion, he never showed up for the pre-substance screening test the day before he had to fly out and gave me a long-winded excuse, basically blaming car troubles. At that point, I would have gone myself to the site; however, I was just back from a bone graft to my collarbone, so I wasn't going anywhere.

The director made the final decision to send him anyway, against my recommendations. We flew him to the site to do his onsite induction, where he would do the screening test anyway. Partway through his induction, he got up and left. I called him that night but never got an answer. So, I checked with his accommodation, and the hotel claimed he had checked in within the last half hour.

I was just glad nothing major had happened. The next morning I spoke to the client, and the client informed me that the staff member apologized for leaving abruptly and had to rush off and deal with some personal issues. I didn’t press it any longer. Two hours went by, and I got a call from the client stating that they'd booted him off the site because they found him asleep on the job, and when they woke him up, he became extremely aggressive.

The consequences were devastating. The client was furious about it and said we were a cowboy of an operation for sending someone like that and told us to fly someone else up the next day to finish the job. That night we had a conference call with the client stating that we were no longer going to be working for them due to this issue, which cost our company roughly $1M from the loss of the contract.

We brought the employee in the day after he flew back to ask about his actions. I was supposed to head this up and get his side of the story, except before we even got into really discussing things, my director asked him, "If we are to test you today would you fail"? He answered, "Yes", and he was told he was being let go instantly.

He started yelling at the top of his lungs and blaming his actions on everyone else. I told him he needed to leave straight away, or the authorities would get called, and he left. Then for the next month, our administrator received emails stating how I was terrible at my job and that I should be fired for not listening to his problems, which he had never spoken to me about. But that’s not the worst part.

The employee was my brother, and I found out he was an addict. My dad and I paid for his rehab, but he never stayed both of the times he was sent. Then there were physical threats towards my mom and my family for not giving him money. That is where I cut contact. The whole situation gave me severe anxiety and depression.

psiren66

15. Left Stumped

man in orange and black helmet riding on brown tree branch under blue sky during daytimePhoto by benjamin lehman on Unsplash

I owned a tree removal service. I hired a guy as a ground worker, and for the first two weeks, he worked great. He didn't complain, seemed to know the work, and I paid him well. During his third week working for me, we did a job that consisted of two big boxelders to be removed. It was 95 degrees out that day. I told all the guys, “Don't push yourselves too much. Make sure you're getting enough fluids, and if you need a break, take one”.

The new guy drove his own vehicle to the job as he needed to leave that day 40 minutes early to make it to a dentist appointment. We were about 40 minutes into the job when I noticed he was moving really, really slow. He just looked really unmotivated and like he didn't want to be there. We had the customer's driveway blocked off with brush everywhere.

At that point, I was still climbing in the tree, and I saw the new guy driving through the customer’s yard—about two acres—and then onto the road in a serious hurry. I called him about 30 times to make sure everything was alright but didn't hear back from him. My other employees had no idea and were in shock. They saw him hop in his truck and just dart. He decided right then and there “forget this” and left. I didn’t fire him, but I never heard back from him again.

Permalink

16. He Was On A Break!

My construction company was building a new addition to a hospital. One morning, the president of the hospital called to inform me that he had just watched one of our laborers smoke dope in his truck while on break. So, I went to the job site and talked to the kid. His answer was hilarious.

He said, "Ya, I was, but I waited 'til break time". You also weren’t supposed to drive your personal vehicle to the job site for liability reasons, and you're certainly not supposed to smoke dope, even on break. We've had some winners over the years, but that kid took the cake.

goyotes78

17. Teed Off

I worked at a golf course during the summer as a lead instructor for golf camps. We had just hired two high school guys to help out. Each day, I usually went through a small teaching session and then let the students out on the course to play. So, I got through the lesson and sent groups out to different holes. I told them I would watch over holes 1–5, and the high school employees would watch over 6–9.

I gave them their own cart—a big mistake on my end—to navigate faster from hole to hole. Everything was going smoothly until about an hour later when one of the students came up to me and said there were dirt trails all over the number eight green. I took my cart over to inspect it, and sure enough, the new hires were doing burnouts and drifting on the green.

I was irate and wanted to go confront these kids and curse them out. I headed back down the fairway towards hole number seven to find these guys, and they were literally chasing a beaver around in their golf cart—a beaver on a course with literally no ponds and water traps. How this beaver got there, I have no idea, but what I do know is that these two got fired immediately after that. We decided not to hire any more high school kids after that fiasco.

Gstrang513

18. His Fate Was Signed, Sealed, And Delivered

black and gray camera standPhoto by Milan Malkomes on Unsplash

I was going over security footage. Pretty routine—but that day, I made a disturbing discovery. I saw an employee who didn't want to sign his contract take it, sign it, stick it down the front of his pants, and wipe it around on his junk. After doing all that, he stuck it in the secretary's inbox. His contract was burned, the secretary’s inbox was disinfected, and the employee was fired.

at132pm

19. Drinks Under The Table

I had a guy who would ring up dine-in orders with five sodas, which were the amount that the people ordered, but then before they cashed out, he would remove all but one or two of them and would pocket the difference. He would give the customers the first copy, and since, of course, that's what they ordered, they never said anything. When he realized they would be paying cash, he'd change it. I only realized it after he was fired.

DizzyedUpGirl

20. A Shining Example Of Stupidity

I had a teacher who was fired due to a spectacular display of poor judgment. I was in Grade 5, so I was about 9–10 years old. The teacher decided to reward some good behavior with a movie in class. We were given a choice between a movie about a family in the mountains and a movie about a ghost. We picked the family-related movie because we thought the ghost movie might be scary.

The movie about a family was The Shining. We watched it—unedited—in class. Some kids hid their faces through most of it. Most of us went home and had terrible nightmares, and the teacher was forcibly removed from class and was fired the following morning. The movie about the ghost was Poltergeist.

neverwasthedragon

21. Swindler Of The Silver Screen

person watching moviePhoto by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash

I worked at a movie theater that, like most places, had a rewards program. You showed your card to the box office cashier as you purchased your ticket, and as you earned points, you got free drinks, popcorn, and, eventually, a free ticket. This one cashier, who seemed to always have tons of cash on her person, would take the guest’s free tickets and keep them.

When the next guest would come and pay exact change, she would use the free ticket and pocket the cash. We had cameras in the box office, so it was a shock that she got away with it for so long. She got caught because a very regular guest asked to speak to our general manager and was wondering why she wasn’t getting free tickets anymore.

A few days later, the same guest came back, but she couldn't stay for her movie. She had to leave and wanted a refund. Our general manager went down to handle it for her and noticed the ticket was a free movie, so we couldn’t give her a refund. She insisted she paid the exact change to the cashier that was there a few hours before.

The manager reviewed the footage, and sure enough, she had given exact change for a ticket—no coupon—but the cashier had one in front of her and slid it sneakily to use. The general manager greeted her in the break room and told her to take her stuff home; she no longer worked there.

smileylord

22. The Sun Didn’t Come Up Tomorrow

I ran a theater company. One time, I hired a director who brought in her boyfriend, who had very little acting experience for a show. While I was against this, I chose to let it slide. Big mistake.

What I did not let slide was when I unlocked the theater the next morning and found them going at it on set. I normally would have just warned them and had them meet with HR; however, we were doing Annie. There were 12 little girls standing directly behind me who witnessed their on-stage activity. I ended up firing both of them, and we moved Annie to the following season.

Eagle406

23. He Served Up A Bad Attitude

I used to manage a restaurant. My hosts were in charge of taking to-go orders, but I couldn't take them away from the host stand to get them ready. So, I had them grab a server who wasn't really busy and had them do it. On his second day, my host came to me and said, "I asked the new guy to grab the to-go order for me, and he told me that it's not his job".

It was the end of the shift, and everyone was putting chairs up. Instead of singling him out, I just pulled everyone together and said, "Hey. If they ask you to get a to-go order, do it. They aren't asking you because they're lazy, they're asking you because I've told them to ask you". After my little speech, the new guy turned around and started slamming chairs around. I wasn’t going to have it and fired him.

Permalink

24. The Big Talker Got Booted

round wooden cafeteria tables and chairs inside roomPhoto by Nikola Jovanovic on Unsplash

I worked in a pub. Our manager left, and they gave our assistant manager a temporary promotion while deciding what to do. They recruited and sent us an assistant who had no input whatsoever. On his first shift, he told the staff to just take whatever crisps and snacks they wanted to eat, and he would "sort it". He chilled out, standing at the end of the bar, drinking said juice and crisps for free.

Then, he would talk to customers about how he was going to whip the place into shape and sort out all the staff. He pretty much trash-talked the entire place. As it was a place that had many regulars, it really didn't take any longer than a few hours for his trash talk to get back to everyone. He came in for his next shift and was promptly told not to bother coming back.

Tetheredwnch

25. Get A Load Of This Guy!

I was the manager at a local concrete plant. We hired a new yard man whose responsibilities were to drive the payloader, load the plant when needed, and keep the piles of sand and aggregate pushed up and clean. He had experience, but on a different style of loader, so I trained him for a few hours on the machine and then returned to my office.

A while later, I looked over the yard. What I saw made my blood run cold. The loader was sitting on top of the 3/4" gravel pile at about a 45-degree angle, the bucket full and raised, motionless. I called him on the mobile radio and got no response. The piles were in the far back of the yard, and for the next few minutes, I called again and again, but my calls were unanswered.

Fearing a mechanical or, worse, a medical emergency, one of my dispatchers and I ran the 150 or so meters from the office through the yard to the loader. There he was, on his cell phone. I climbed the ladder and banged on the door. He responded in a rather loud voice, "HEY! I am on the phone"! I immediately told him to dump his bucket and come down off the pile.

At first, he ignored me, but after a second request, he complied but was visibly aggravated. He proceeded to ask me what my problem was, to which I responded, "My problem is, as of right now, I need to hire someone to drive this loader. Get off the property". He was very sour about it, and as the three of us walked back to the office, I radioed the owner, who had his termination slip ready when we got there.

van_clouden

26. Pulling Double Duty

I worked at Walmart, where I had a co-worker in another department show up, clock in, leave for his other job for the day, return after his shift at the other job was over, and then clock out. He got away with this for more than two months. Needless to say, he AND his department manager were fired as soon as other management found out. I’m not sure if they were in on it together, but either way, it was entertaining watching them get shown out of the building.

Vocal_Ham

27. Judgment Day

woman in white tank top and blue denim jeans sitting on white chairPhoto by Kai Gabriel on Unsplash

I was a partner in a business but wasn't involved in the day-to-day management or anything much any longer. I needed to sign some paperwork, and it had to happen within the hour, so I left the gym and drove straight to the office. I was showered and clean but in casual clothing— jeans and a T-shirt. When I arrived, the receptionist said very loudly, "Can I help YOU"?

There was already something off with her tone, but I didn't really care. I simply said, "Yes, I'd like to see Mr. Hampton, he's expecting me". I should have said my name, which she maybe would have recognized, but I don't know why I didn't, and she didn't ask. She didn't pull up a schedule, ask on the intercom, call his line or anything.

She then laughed and said, "Mr. Hampton doesn't take walk-ins, Sir". This alone wouldn't be a big deal, even though I thought her laugh was rude. But then she made it so much worse. She then turned her chair away from me with her back facing me. I said, "Excuse me", and she put headphones in. There was one other guy waiting to see our office manager for a job as a courier, and he was kind of snickering and amused.

It was embarrassing and unacceptable. I then raised my voice and said, "I need to see Mr. Hampton and am going ahead. As I said, he's expecting me". She just laughed but wouldn't buzz me in. I don't know if she saw me through the glass, but the office manager ran up and buzzed me in, and greeted me by name. The receptionist went white as a sheet.

I could tell she was freaking out. I signed the papers and let my partner know what had happened. He walked out with me and told her to pack her bags, and fired her on the spot. There's no reason to treat anyone that way. A client could have turned up underdressed as well. It was absolute madness.

ganbanthrowaway

28. This Kid Was A Real Turkey

I managed a bowling center for about 10 years. I hired a kid who never had a job before, and he was a little on the “odd” side, but he seemed pretty smart, so I took a chance on him. About a month into his employment, a very, very large woman came in with her family. This kid couldn’t believe how big she was. He kept insisting to everyone that it was a costume, saying, “That HAS to be a fat suit”.

He kept saying it and wouldn’t give it up. He then decided to get the truth. He walked up to this poor woman in front of her entire family and asked her, “Are you really that fat, or is it just a costume”? I’ve never been so dumbfounded in my life. He was suspended immediately and fired after the HR investigation. The woman was so upset she ended up getting some pretty hefty compensation from the hotel, which was much deserved.

iTheAnarchist

29. He Got Called Out

I was supervising a tech support call center. One of the female techs walked up to me, her face white as a ghost. I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t say a word, just gestured for me to follow her, so I did. She pointed me around a corner of cubes, where I found one of the agents with raunchy videos on his screen, trousers down, and hands busy.

We did him a solid. Security showed him out and packed up his belongings, wearing gloves. We told him we wouldn't press charges if we never heard from him again. I left a few months after that, but at least while I was there, nothing more was heard from him. I think, for some reason, he really wanted to lose his job and couldn't make himself quit or come up with a less lewd way to get himself fired.

skrshawk

30. These Customers Got More Than What They Expected

gray and white airplane on flight near clear blue skyPhoto by John McArthur on Unsplash

The owner of my company was managing systems engineers at a large aerospace engineering firm. While showing a bunch of customers around their facilities early one morning, one of his engineers heard him coming and jumped out at him from between a couple of racks completely in the buff. They had been working flat out right up until delivery, to the point where the guy was working until midnight and getting in at 6 AM for the past week.

They were friends who’d been with the company for about 15 years together up to that point and used to prank each other in the office all the time. The guy just hadn’t slept much and had lost track of time. He was fired immediately. I often think about how he must have felt in those few moments before jumping out.

git

31. I Rolled With It

I was going to college on the GI Bill and got a job working in hospital security. This local hospital had been gobbled up by the growing medical center. The GI Bill was going to come up short with the new policies, so when I was about finished with my degree, I had to work there for a year after I stopped taking the money or pay it back.

I was mad at myself because now that I had the degree, I could get a better job, but I would have to ransom myself. To make my life easier, my wife found me an adult pair of Heelys. It was her idea that I wear them to work because I had to walk the grounds a lot, both inside and out. I had a bad feeling about it, but she acted as if I didn't, I must not like her gift. I should’ve listened to my gut.

I wore them on a Sunday shift because not much went on, and it was glorious. I was rollerblading like a kid in the 90s. However, unlike rollerblades, Heelys have a chunky back made of rubber, positioned roughly where a rollerblade brake is, but it’s not a brake. I discovered that on a perimeter check when I decided to take a hill as if I were on rollerblades.

I was quickly going way too fast, had a lot of hill left, and ditched. Miraculously, I only sustained a scuffed pant leg and scraped the radio. Also, miraculously, I was just off camera when I fell. I wasn't fired immediately, but I was fired the first time my shift overlapped with the manager. I pretty much knew what was coming. I shook his hand, said my goodbyes, and left. I got two part-time jobs immediately, which I built on. I didn't try to get fired, but it worked out.

ignis_flatus

32. Double Discharge

I hired a new server, and a few hours into his shift, he took a break. I got a phone call from the owner of the motel across the street a few minutes later. He apparently got into an argument with his girlfriend and smacked her. The motel owner saw this and confronted him. As a result, he pointed at his car and told her he had a machete in there, and if she didn't mind her business, he would cut her head off with it.

Needless to say, he was fired on the spot. The next day, the convenience store across the street hired him. My wife was walking by, and he threatened her in front of his new co-workers. We knew the owners well, called them, and he was again fired on the spot. Thankfully we never saw that psycho again.

Windbelow616

33. Stuff It!

grayscale photo of man in suitPhoto by Callum Skelton on Unsplash

I was a retail manager. I had an employee who we hired for a seasonal position. She worked pretty well but was kind of loud and obnoxious. She liked to sneak food to her cash register and eat between customers, despite a couple of warnings. I thought I saw her with food at her register again, so I went to investigate. As I walked up to her, she had a full-on fast food meal sitting in an open drawer, with a customer in front of her.

She realized I was standing behind her and said, "What are you looking at"?! She was fired on the spot. But the nightmare didn’t end there. She even went as far as to purposely bump into me while leaving and started screaming that I hit her. She had announced that she was pregnant a week or so earlier, so, of course, that played into the drama. She told me she was going to sue me for hitting her and her baby.

She was bananas, and nothing ever came of it. She called the district manager later that week to complain about me. I had already sent the DM the camera footage, so he just politely told her to get lost, and we never heard from her again.

Orangejews420

34. What A Bummer!

One of our delivery drivers was supposed to be training a new employee—basically driving around and introducing them to routes and customers and that type of thing. Instead, he told the new driver to just drop him off at the park down the street. When my boss drove 15 seconds to the park, he found him doing smoking with some of the people who live in the park.

Of course, the dude got fired. Then about a month later, we got a call from a customer saying that he was walking in the middle of a busy intersection with our company's shirt on!

Permalink

35. Their Call Time Was Up

I used to manage a call center for a large corporation with a few stores that had retail counters. Corporate would require these guys to have a minimum phone time, or else you'd run the risk of being written up. The higher-ups, in their infinite wisdom, decided that hold time was just as good as actual talk time. So people came up with a loophole. There were a lot of employees manipulating their phone times, like calling their own cell phones and putting themselves on hold.

I wrote up a few employees for these actions. We fired one employee for typical reasons like being disobedient, disrespectful, etc. Whenever we fired someone, we reviewed all their company emails to make sure we took care of any unfinished business. We found an email string between him and another employee who worked on a retail counter, showing off their long hold times with actual customers.

They'd bad mouth the customers saying how stupid they were. Some customers were waiting 15–20 minutes for help just so they could get their daily phone time up. Normally, I hated having to fire someone, but that one was easy.

Wanna_Spoon

36. His Racket Ultimately Registered

Abercrombie & Fitch Dadeland Mall Miami | Phillip Pessar | Flickrwww.flickr.com

I worked for a well-known clothing store, and my friend was closing up for the night along with another manager. As they were closing up, they were chatting; it was Friday night, so they were asking about weekend plans, etc. The manager said he was too broke to do anything. My friend took out one of the cash bags, went to grab something else for a second, came back, and started doing the cash for the night.

The store had this policy that if they were under or over €100 ($110) they didn't question it.

So as my friend was sorting out the cash for the night, the manager started talking about his plans. My friend asked, "Didn't you say you were broke"? The manager said something about some cash he forgot he had. My friend was suspicious but kept quiet.

The following day, the manager was off, but my friend was working. He went to the head manager and told him his suspicion that the manager had taken some of the cash. They checked the security camera for the previous night, and sure enough, in the split second my friend was away from the cash bag, the manager came up and grabbed €50 ($55) from it.

Then, they checked the footage and realized that this guy had been swiping €50–€100 ($55–$110) every night he closed the till. He varied it so it was never exactly the same and kept it under the "something went wrong here" limit. The head manager called him to come in. He told him someone had called in sick, and they needed him to cover.

I guess he figured they were on to him, and he never showed up. He was from a different country. I suspect he went back home because he was never heard from again. They estimated he took a serious amount of money because he worked at the company for several years and regularly closed the till.

caca_milis_

37. Dino Was Finally Done

Early on in my career, I was a manager for a big Fortune 500 company's call center. The building we were in was built in such a way that you had three floors, and in the middle of every floor, there was a square hole that allowed you to look all the way down to the ground floor, with a big light on top, so the building was very bright.

On the ground floor, there was a set of computers that everybody could use to do all their non-work related stuff, check email, Facebook, etc. One evening I was working a late shift when one of the security guards came over to me and asked me to come with him. So, I followed him to the balcony, and he pointed downwards. I can’t believe what I saw.

A guy who wasn't on my team directly but was part of the same language group I was a manager in was sitting behind one of the PCs in the middle of the floor, watching lewd videos and giving himself the old "inside the pants rub down". I instantly started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. My laughter caused him to turn around, which in turn, caused his schlong to pop out of his pants as he looked up with a deer-caught-in-the-headlight look.

The absurdity of the situation was hilarious, but what made it even better was that we showed him out of the building and told him to come back the day after to collect his things and his termination of employment form. When I told my manager about it later on, he said, "Oh, Dino was at it again, was he? Yeah, we've been trying to catch him for ages. He used to jerk it in the bathroom, but we never were able to catch him".

Irishnovember26

38. Quick-Fire Hire

I was a house manager for a men's ministry. We took people in, typically right from prison or other situations where they needed to get back on their feet and back into society. We got a new guy sent to us who had the shortest time of anyone there at three days. Within those three days, he complained about the amount of work that was expected despite signing paperwork that he'd be willing to do it.

He also left food and dirty dishes in the living room, left a broken, raw egg on the floor outside his room, took food from someone else, passed out watching TV, sold his meds for booze money, and got so trashed he slipped and fell, resulting in him going to the hospital. We told the people who were his counselors that he was just not going to fit in and had them pick up his stuff while he was in the hospital.

Version_Red

39. His Career Was Fried

people in restaurantPhoto by K8 on Unsplash

I was a sous chef at an upscale restaurant in a historical tourist place in Virginia. I had a fry cook get mad at a server who decided to bypass talking to me and speak directly to him. They proceeded to argue about how hot the fries were that were sent out, and before I could calm the situation, he pulled up a basket of hot fries and slung the contents at the server.

The server sustained some minor burns, but fortunately, the fry cook’s aim was bad, and most of the fries hit her waist area, which was covered by an apron. The fry cook was immediately sent home and later fired. I also think he had some charges laid against him as well.

Permalink

40. Move It Or Lose It!

When I was young, I was with my uncle in his car. We found a distributor truck parked in the middle of the road, horizontally occupying both lanes. We waited, and when we saw they weren’t planning to move, my uncle got out and gently told them to move, so we could pass. They said, “Yeah”, but we waited another five minutes, and nothing happened.

So, my uncle got out again and told them to move, now more firmly. The guy cursed at him and said, “We are working. Don’t you see? Go another way”, and they laughed. Well, there was something that they didn’t know. Then, my uncle calmly called his best friend, who was the manager of that distribution company. He told him the issue and the number of the truck. His friend immediately apologized and hung up.

It seemed very rude, but then we saw that his friend called the truck's radio, and we heard everything. The manager was very angry and first told them to move, then leave the truck there, and go home. He fired them at the spot over the radio.

Knighterws

41. Cleaning Up The Mess

My first boss worked for a phone company that purchased one of the first prepaid cell phone start-ups. This was a bad deal because it came with all their baggage, including employees, and was a total mess from top to bottom. From Syndicate ties and money laundering to the old manager banging several of the female employees.

The women got extra perks for being his friend, like extended time off, overtime pay, etc, when they did not work. It all fell apart when they learned about each other and got into an argument over him at work! He was fired, and the women were put on probation since they were afraid of losing their jobs if they said no. After that, my boss was promoted and had to take over this mess. In six months, he fired 18 people.

One young guy had “family” connections and major anger management issues. He was not logging in to phones, taking two-hour lunch breaks, etc. One day a co-worker gave him grief about slacking off. He walked away and returned with his heavy desk phone. He went behind the guy who was sitting in a chair and yanked him backward, sending the poor guy sprawling onto the ground.

The young guy proceeded to beat the other one with his desk phone, sending him to the hospital. He was taken into custody and fired. In another instance, one of the ladies earned extra money during lunch breaks by giving her male co-workers a…release in the bathroom, for a donation. At the Christmas party, she got caught in the restaurant bathroom red-handed by one of the higher-ups. She and the guy were both let go.

Pr0genator

42. Her Dirty Behavior Was Not Amusing

red and yellow crane near building during sunsetPhoto by Thomas Stadler on Unsplash

I worked at an amusement park with over 200 employees working under me. We had a guy accusing a girl, who was about 6'7" tall and the size of Andre the Giant, of harassment. Both were employees. In the end, two guys accused her, but at first, there was only one. He claimed she had been talking about doing the deed with him and saying very inappropriate things to him, despite him saying no.

That kept happening, and one day, she went too far, and he had to stop it. For documentation and for talking to her, it helped if we knew as many details as possible, so we asked him for more details if he was comfortable with sharing. He wasn't at first but then decided to tell us. She started off with her usual, saying something along the lines of "I'm gonna [do] you real dirty".

He asked her to stop, and she continued on with something like, "Do you know how dirty I am"? He again asked her to stop, then with a straight face, she said, "I've [done] my dog". The guy said he went and threw up. We interviewed two others, both of who had similar crazy stories, one who had also been told about the dog. When we interviewed the girl, she didn't deny anything and just left. The whole thing still haunts me.

Thehusseler

43. What A Rotten Tomato!

My friend got me a job at a good place as a cook. After a week or two, he started telling me about the guy they fired before me, who I replaced. He had only worked one day and came in high, and wasn’t doing much work. As he was sitting there doing nothing, one of the managers was trying to make a side of fried tomatoes, but they accidentally got taken, and he had to replace them a couple of times.

After finally getting this plate ready to go out, the new guy reached over and grabbed a fried tomato slice, and ate it. This place was very strict about how many pieces of food make up a side, so the manager was going to have to fry another tomato slice. The new guy was fired on the spot. A few weeks later, he was charged with pouring gasoline on his girlfriend and setting her on fire, so I guess it was a good thing they let him go.

TheBossFighter

44. Delivery Don’ts

I was a general manager at a Jimmy John’s. It was a lunch rush, and we had about 30 deliveries ready to go out the door. I looked at the dispatch screen and the software used to route delivery drivers and saw that Frank was up. I asked a co-worker where he was, and he responded he saw him out front. I looked through the front window, and this kid was weighing out a bag on his dashboard for his friend.

Every customer in line, eating, and walking in could see this kid holding an ounce of weed in his hand! I ripped the delivery topper off his car, told him to give all of his delivery slips to a driver I was going to send out, and to never show up again. I felt bad because I knew he needed the job, but at the same time, he was being stupid. I didn’t call the authorities on him, so he got off pretty easy.

Drull_Sewer

45. His Transcript Got Him Tossed

birds eye photography of concrete structurePhoto by American Public Power Association on Unsplash

We had a new chemical engineer on the job at a refinery. He was doing great. He was a quick study, and everyone liked him, but then his transcripts caught up with him. He was not a chemical engineer. He did attend freshman year at the college he said he got his Bachelor of Science from on his resume, but that’s it. He totally lied about graduating and being an engineer, so he was fired.

1userfame

46. Smile, You’re On Camera

I used to work at a large fast-food chain. Every three months, there was a big full-day top-to-bottom examination of the entire shop by a company-appointed reviewer. We generally knew they were coming at some point, but it was completely unannounced. If the company actually allowed enough money for the stores to follow through with the head office’s procedures it would have been fine, but they didn’t.

So the stores would always freak out when the person showed up. The reviewer came, and an employee who we suspected was selling dope outside of company hours—and some suspicion of during—walked into a cold room, grabbed something out of his pocket, and accidentally dropped an acid tab onto his hand. Instead of hiding it back in his pocket, he decided to ingest it.

All this happened while the reviewer was checking to make sure all the cameras were working properly, hence, it was all seen live by myself and this reviewer. The guy was fired on the spot and called the reviewer a name. He ended up dealing full-time and was taken into custody for it, narrowly escaping prison.

brentonpinsent

47. He’s Gone

A friend of mine worked for a kitchen supply company that sold large equipment for restaurants. He basically just checked out and didn’t feel like doing much of anything after a certain point. He was in sales, and part of his job required him to fill out reports when he made a sale. He realized pretty quickly that no one would ever check them, so he ended up filling them out exclusively with Grateful Dead lyrics.

No one caught on for quite a while—until he went up for a promotion. During the promotion process, management checked all of his reports and noticed what was going on. They fired him on the spot.

mediocrescottt

48. Bathroom Banksy

white ceramic toilet bowlPhoto by Gabor Monori on Unsplash

Repeat complaints had been made by the custodial staff and security regarding "issues" in one of the lavatories. The culprit was eventually caught and fired. On multiple occasions when working late, they had apparently gone to the toilet before leaving, then proceeded to smear poo all over the cubicle walls. One night she was caught red-handed, or more accurately, brown-handed, leaving the cubicle after her most recent Banksy.

MrBracken

49. Martha Was History

I was the director of a county history museum, and we had just installed a new security system with cameras and motion detectors in each room. It also recorded when the two entry doors were locked and unlocked at the start and end of each business day. One Monday morning, I checked the video replay from Sunday. What I saw left me in shock. It was Martha, the weekend receptionist, and her boyfriend…making out on the front desk.

They had to stop when the front door opened, and several museum guests entered. Martha and her beau waited until the guests left, then went into the restroom to get busy. While they were busy in the bathroom, a visitor came into the main entrance, walked around several rooms, and left. Martha and her beau emerged 45 minutes later, then left for lunch but cleverly left the entrance doors open.

They knew that if I checked the security open and close log for the weekend, the museum still would appear open for visitors. They left the museum wide-open, unattended for another hour and a half when they returned from lunch. While they were out, several guests came in, viewed the exhibits, let their kids trash the children’s discovery room, rummaged through the front desk, took some bills out of the donation box, and left.

We were very fortunate those guests didn’t take any art or artifacts or go upstairs into the office area. Of course, after seeing all that, I called Martha at home, told her what I had seen, and fired her. What really made me mad was that I liked Martha, and until that day, I thought she was a solid, responsible employee.

livingonmain

50. The Spice Of Life

One day, I got a call from a customer—and what she told me was shocking. One of our employees had passed out in the truck in her driveway…and he had a glass pipe on his chest. Luckily, the customer decided to call me instead of the sheriff. The employee was picked up and brought back to the shop. When asked what was going on, he stated, "I was on break. It wasn't weed, it's just Spice". I let him know that I didn’t think this was going to work out.

tythepoolguy

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Unreasonable People Get Brutal Clapbacks
Photo by Nachristos on Unsplash

Many people in customer service are familiar with the phrase, "The customer is always right," but most of the time, that is NOT the case. These employees came face to face with some of the worst customers of the world—and stood their ground in the most satisfying ways.

1. A Hair-Raising Tale

Way back in the day, when I worked in the food service industry, we once had a customer who got a salad and, when she was just about finished eating it, she intentionally placed one of her hairs in the bowl in order to try and get it refunded. Instead, she got the complimentary “I’m sorry” free bakery item to make up for it. This happened several times, and eventually, it got to the point where she was doing this every single day.

Finally, the store manager sat down at her table and told her this was her last day eating in the cafe, and that they would refuse her refund today and refuse her service in the future. She started to say something about the customer always being right—but he already had a brutal reply ready for her. He just put up a hand to cut her off. He said “You cause us to lose money every day. You’re absolutely not our customer. You are a liability, and you are no longer welcome here".

Unfortunately, this confrontation took embarrassingly long to get to. I worked in training support and the issue came to light during an associate-level customer service class. They had been rolling with it for at least a few weeks, hoping she would just stop at some point on her own. I’m not sure if the managers all knew what was going on, but I called their general manager and DM after class and it was taken care of between the two of them by the end of that week.

Levlove

2. Planning For The Future

This happened not to me, but to my manager. At the store where I work, this one woman comes in every Sunday, without exception. And also without exception, she complains every Sunday. It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in the store or what she’s looking for. She’ll always find something to whine about. So this past time, she said, “I won’t be coming back".

And my manager goes, “Alright, I’ll see you next week!”

MichelleDeaEst

3. Is The Cup Half Empty, Or Half Full?

clear drinking glass with yellow liquidPhoto by Anshu A on Unsplash

I was once a witness to a silent owning that I still get giddy just thinking of. A buddy of mine was serving a table and the kid at the table was around eight or maybe ten years old. He gives her an adult glass for her apple juice. The dad pipes up and says he doesn’t want her to have all that sugar, so he needed to take it away and come back with a kid-sized one.

My friend replied that the glasses are all the same size, the adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms. The dad responds that “the adult glass is clearly bigger and LIKE I SAID I don’t want her to have all that sugar". My buddy is a jerk. He gives a super deliberate exaggerated nod, says nothing, and marches to our little service alley behind the bar.

That’s when he put his plan into motion. A few moments later, he re-emerges with a kids’ cup, sets it down beside the glass, picks up the glass, and pours the adult glass into the new one, lifting it progressively higher and higher until the last drop drips down into the glass, perfectly fitting into the kid-sized cup. He then darts the heck off to the kitchen without even looking at the guy, like he didn’t even exist. I exploded with laughter.

Labelkilled

4. Language Barrier

This was the funniest customer service retaliation I’ve ever seen in all my years working in retail. This lady was being unnecessarily rude to our gay cashier, and at one point she replied to something he said with: “Sorry, I don't speak gay". Without missing a beat, the cashier responded with: “Well, don’t worry, because I’m fluent in idiot".

theprettyflaKo

5. Making A Snap Decision

This was not at a restaurant or a retail store, but at a visitor information desk at my university. We were having our Education Week event, where parents from all over the country were exploring the programs our school had to offer. At one point, a lady rudely walked up to the information desk, snapped her fingers in the face of the student employee, and blurted out: “Tell me where the Marriott Center is".

The student employee snapped his fingers right back, and said: “Try again".

BooksRock

6. Hitting Where It Hurts

I work in a retail store. One day, this very rude customer threw a tantrum at me, and shouted: "Why don't you get a REAL job?" Annoyed, I decided to strike back. I said: "Now if I did that, what would you have to whine and be mad about?" Unsurprisingly, she did not seem to find this particularly funny. But I felt pretty good about myself!

HidingWhoIAm5683

7. Putting Two And Two Together

I work at a local bar. One night, a bunch of intoxicated people were making a huge mess, wasting our time, and harassing other tables. Finally, I went up to them and informed them that there was an issue. Me: “The manager has decided that all of you need to leave. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and your behavior warrants it".

The loudest guy at the table: “Screw you. If you kick us out, we're never gonna come back to this place". Me: “That's exactly the point. Please leave".

Machinations42

8. Spoiling Her Big Plans

One day, a rude customer came into the store where I work and said: “I don't like (insert literally anything here), is the owner in? I know him!” I immediately expressed intense excitement and said: “OMG SAME! I know the owner too! He's not here right now, unfortunately, but I'm the manager on duty today so I'll help you out". She was not amused.

skilldan

9. X Marks The Spot

cars on road during daytimePhoto by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

I’ve never worked at a restaurant, but I used to work as a parking attendant in the garage at a local ski resort. I was occasionally allowed to clap back at rude customers, which was always nice to know. The best one went like this. Guy in Mercedes: “Why can't I just park there?” Me: “Because we have a bunch of school buses full of kids coming later and we need to reserve this space for them".

Guy: “But I'm a good driver. C'mon, there's no parking anywhere else!" Me: “Yes, there is. You'll just have to walk a little bit further from your car to get to the elevator". Guy: “But I don't want to do that!" Me: “Too bad". I then left briefly to go to the bathroom, and came back to find the guy and his family getting ready and unloading their equipment from their car—which was parked exactly where I told them they were not allowed to.

When the guy saw that I had returned, he gave me a little smirk, as though he had somehow outsmarted me. Without breaking eye contact, and without saying a word, I immediately filled out a parking ticket and placed it on his windshield right in front of him and his family. Guy: “Hey, what the heck are you doing, man?” Me: “Move your car now, or I’ll tow it too".

And that was the end of that situation!

Gamgee_2

10. Getting A Little Salty

I once had a guy ask me to bring him some pepper to the table, so I happily obliged. As I'm walking away after giving him the pepper, he snaps his fingers behind my back. He shouts: "This pepper. It's not coarse enough!" I turned back and said: "I'm sorry, but that's the only pepper we have". He goes: "Mmmm, yeah. Well, you can take this back, then. Maybe you could go get me some sea salt instead".

I go: "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have sea salt, just regular table salt". He goes: "Mmmm, I'm sorry. I must have mistaken this place for an ACTUAL restaurant". I reply: "And I am sorry too, sir. You've clearly mistaken me for someone who gives a hoot about your obnoxious demands. Enjoy your soup!" And that was the end of that!

murphyslaw97

11. Calling Her Bluff

A woman once complained to me about her cocktail, saying she couldn’t taste the “punch” in it. She asked if we could make it stronger. It was already a double, but we added a splash. She apparently still couldn’t taste it, so she asked if we could add more. She was obviously intoxicated when she arrived and angling to get more intoxicated for as cheap as possible.

Which is why I took her cocktail, apologized that it wasn’t to her liking, and said I’d take it off her bill, effectively cutting her off for the night.

pineapplepokesback

12. A Move Within A Move

woman in blue shorts and black boots standing beside yellow and white truck during daytimePhoto by Handiwork NYC on Unsplash

I work for a moving company. The customers always get mad when we don't have the equipment available for them when they show up last minute with no reservation. “Well, I'll just go to (competitor's name)!” is what they usually say. I would always reply with exact directions: “Great, they are a block north, on the right side. You can't miss ‘em".

This never failed to get a disgusted scoff, but we would always see them again in an hour or so to set up a reservation when the competitors didn't have any equipment either.

Kathyt92

13. Old McDonald Had A Farm

My brother was a waiter and was working with a really difficult woman. She ordered the salmon and asked when it got to her table if it was “farm-raised". She got mad at him because he didn’t mention that the salmon was farm-raised when she was ordering, even though it clearly states that it is farm-raised on the menu. She ordered the chicken to replace the salmon, and my brother said “I have to warn you, it’s farm-raised".

LemonInAGlass

14. In The Heat Of The Night

At the store where I work, we have sweet biscuits with icing on top. Every weekend, this lady comes in and wants them fresh, with extra icing. But every time, something is apparently wrong with them. Her main complaint is them being “too cold,” which is usually probably due to the extra icing being added on top of it. We have told this to her repeatedly.

Well, this last time she came in, we gave her the biscuit, fresh out the oven, loaded it down with icing, and she still says it’s cold. The manager tells her the only way to get it any hotter would be to melt the icing in the microwave, which we refuse to do. The lady has a conniption, demanding to know why. My manager, God love her, says “Because sugar is hotter than the seven sons of the underworld when it’s heated up like that, and no matter how much you deserve it, I’ll be darned if I give you an excuse to have a lawsuit against us".

Beccavexed

15. Staying Hydrated

round white ceramic plate filled with wafflePhoto by Rachel Park on Unsplash

Table of 10, Sunday brunch, fancy restaurant, I'm hungover. A crowd swarms in at the opening and my whole section is filled at once. I'm efficient and cool. I'm used to this. I get to the big table and preface that water is being brought as we speak. I then begin taking everyone's drink orders. As I'm taking orders around the table, one woman blurts out that she wants water.

She then starts screaming not to forget the water, interrupting her friends and family as they make their meal requests. I acknowledge her each time until after the fourth time. That’s when I lost it. I told her: 'If you ask for water again, I'll make sure everyone here gets water but you". She sinks back in her chair looking dumbfounded. I go put in the order, then head to the bar.

thekordo

16. A Pocket Full Of Miracles

I slipped a napkin into the pocket of a customer’s jacket. I left a lipstick kiss mark and the words “It was great...you were great...let’s do it again” on the napkin before doing so. This was the same man who openly mocked my colleague who has Down's syndrome. He did this right in front of his whole Christian family, and none of them seemed to mind.

lIIllIIlIIl

17. Eating His Words

I'm quite feminine for a guy. I don't mind what people say or think about me, and I get confused for gay sometimes. That is an important detail for later in this story. While I was working as a cashier, a customer just walked up to me and started to say, and I quote: "I don't understand why so many gay people work in this restaurant, I don't even know if I want to eat here anymore!"

Lots of my coworkers are, in fact, gay; and the way he said this was... not exactly kind to them. So, when his meal was ready, none of them felt comfortable wanting to bring it to him. So I just did what any sane person would do in my position. I brought him his meal, and you bet I freaking became a full-on Disney princess for like five minutes straight!

I was walking like a model, calling him sweet names, being extremely touchy, and giving him the best attention I possibly could. It was so much fun!

Dapli

18. One Degree Of Separation

a woman covers her mouth with her handsPhoto by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

A customer at my store was being rude to me recently, so I gave her attitude back. This did not make her too happy. She aggressively said to me: “I’d watch out if I were you. I know your manager". Without even stopping to think about it, I replied: “I know him too. So what?” She was completely dumbfounded and didn’t say another word after that.

heymaniamKorg

19. Food For Thought

An Italian customer, at a cheap steakhouse in the United States, said the following: “My pasta wasn't quite Al Dente". I replied: “You just got off a plane from Italy, ordered pasta at a cheap steakhouse in the United States, and you're surprised it was less perfect than what you are accustomed to? Not sure what you want me to do about that". He had no reply.

stoli80pr

20. Going Nuts

I once had a girl ordering a Pina Colada and then complaining about the coconut in it. Apparently, she didn't like coconut and didn’t realize that it was one of the main ingredients in the drink she ordered. So I got her another drink, and she goes: “What are you going to do with the old one? Are you going to throw it away?”

I just looked at her, told her that I do like coconut, and took a sip.

idrathernot_

21. The Royal Treatment

a woman wearing pearls and a tiaraPhoto by Lance Reis on Unsplash

I had more than one of these encounters, since I worked as a waiter for quite a while. I remember one particular Karen wanting a sincere apology after insulting and berating one of my best friends there, and since I was the one in charge I had to do it. So, with the biggest smile I could possibly put on, I went to her and said "I'm SOOOO sorry for AAALL the things my co-worker did to you. We here know a lady like you deserves more polite treatment, so let me help you..."

She was smiling like the crazy narcissist she is, clearly thinking she had won. Wrong. Then I added: "Let me gracefully escort you to the door so you can find a restaurant that serves your kind, since you are not welcome here anymore". She was fuming. I still remember my friend’s face when he heard this. Then, as she was leaving, I said something like: "I hope you have a day as WONDERFUL as you deserve!"

She complained to management, but since I was always the "good guy" at work and my coworkers didn't say a thing, they let it pass.

Dapli

22. Ice Ice Baby

I worked at a restaurant in my hometown for years, and the most common rude thing customers would pull was lifting their empty cup with ice in it and shaking it at me, implying that they needed a refill. My response was always the same: “Are you making music, or did you need something?” Use your words, jerks. I’m not your dog.

whatisachelsea

23. An Impatient Mental Patient

I am not a waiter, but I was in a restaurant once and this woman comes up to the waiter and goes "Excuse me, but I have been waiting for my food for nearly five minutes now". She had a party table, and a table of eight. The waiter then, calmly, goes to her: "Ma'am, you realize the restaurant is extremely busy, you have a table of eight, and we have minimal staff. It's going to take a whole lot longer than five minutes to cook your food".

Bear in mind, this was a week before Christmas, so everyone was really having their Christmas dinner of sorts. She then huffs and goes to sit down. Five minutes later, she goes back at it again. Woman: "Sir, we have been waiting ten minutes. Where is our food!?" Waiter, (Getting slightly annoyed): "Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to sit down and wait patiently, or leave".

Woman: "I want to talk to the manager". Waiter: "Ma'am, the manager is on maternity leave. I'm the assistant manager. And I'm asking you to sit down or leave". The woman goes to sit down. By this point, nearly the entire restaurant was trying to not laugh. The waiter talks to the cook to get the woman's food out first.

Two minutes later, he does so. They eat, leave money for the bill, and then get ready to leave. The waiter comes over. Waiter: "Did you enjoy your food?" Woman: "Yes, not thanks to you though". I could see the waiter was about to lose it. Waiter: "Ma'am, if not for me you would still be waiting". Woman: "I'm going to leave a bad review on this restaurant and get you sacked from your job".

Waiter: "Don’t worry, I won't get sacked thanks to a bimbo like you who thinks everyone has all the time in the world to cater for you". The woman and her party left after that. I never did find out what happened, but I applaud that waiter for remaining so calm under those circumstances. That woman was an absolute joke!

TraxionIO

24. One Last Hurrah

coin bankPhoto by Diane Helentjaris on Unsplash

On my last night working as a delivery driver, I was told to keep the change on $12.98 as my tip. That’s when I snapped. I responded by rummaging through my change pouch, taking out two pennies, and tossing them back at the guy, saying “If I wanted your two cents, I would have asked you a freaking question". I then just walked away. This was my final delivery ever, and was well worth it!

utrage

25. A Poor Phone Connection

I’m not a server, but I had a few of these incidents when I worked at the Comcast retail center. One guy in particular came in hot and was adamant that we doubled his bill. I look into his billing history and, lo and behold, he hasn't paid in two months. I point this out to him and say, "Let's be real, you haven't paid in two months".

I guess my use of the phrase "be real" triggered something in him, because now he's suddenly complaining that I have lousy customer service skills and that I’m unprofessional. He added that I should go work for McDonald’s instead. I immediately responded: "Yeah, but then where would you have to work?" I know Comcast is evil and all, but taking money from that jerk made my entire freaking week.

Lyn1987

26. Getting Some Special Treatment

I once saw an extremely rude guy picking on waitresses and just being a total jerk to everyone around him. There was, however, one male waiter, whom he promptly summoned. Guy: “Another drink". Waiter: “Sorry, we have no more left". Guy: “I don’t believe that for a second. Bring me the darn drink I asked for, right now!”

Waiter: “Oh, sorry. Let me clarify myself. We have no more drinks left… for YOU". The waiter then walked off, leaving the guy all by himself to absorb and process what had just happened. The rude dude then left the place quietly to my great surprise. Maybe not the number one most hilarious comeback of all time, but it was a highly amusing incident to watch.

CriticTactic

27. The Ultimate Staff Confrontation

In this case, I was the customer that got confronted—but who do you think was the bad guy? A server confronted me in the men's room when I didn't tip him on top of the 18% minimum that was already added to my bill. And he wanted to fight me. I’ve never quite had an experience like that before or since. Here’s the full story.

So this past weekend, we went to a restaurant for dinner with my girlfriend and her friends for her birthday. We had about ten people and had about five different tabs, each of which included an 18% minimum tip. The service was terrible. The server was incredibly rude all night and would always respond with some kind of sarcasm when we asked questions about the menu.

He took the wrong drink orders twice and blamed us for getting them wrong. He brought all the apps and entrees at the same time and got upset when we said we didn't want the apps anymore. My friend paid in cash and when he brought back change, there was no receipt. She was expecting to see five bucks and some change back.

When the server came back there was no receipt and only four bucks and change there. She asked him to see the receipt, to see if she had miscalculated because she expected five dollars and then some back. Instead of saying something along the lines of I’ll go check or something accommodating like that, the dude got irritated and said that he threw away the receipt.

He then reached for his wallet and said "How about I just give you a dollar if you want it that bad?" That angered us all, so we didn't leave any extra tip on top of the amount that was automatically added. I wrote down "NOPE!" on my receipt in the additional tip line. When I went to use the men's room before leaving, he tapped my shoulder as I was washing my hands and goes: “You think you’re pretty funny with that tip, don't you? Why don't we step outside so I can show you how funny I can be?

I’m like what the heck? I immediately called the manager over and told him the server tried to fight me because I didn't tip him extra. I explained the whole situation to her while the dude was just glaring angrily at me the whole time. Other servers had to calm him down because he kept trying to interrupt me when I was talking to the manager.

I declined all of their gift card offers, because I sure as heck don’t want to come back to a place where the staff is gonna stir up trouble for me.

Luftwaffle88

28. Thinking Inside The Box

woman wearing brown apronPhoto by Steven Cleghorn on Unsplash

For context, I’m a female in my twenties working at a fine dining restaurant. This older guy kept giving me trouble all night. Doing stuff like ordering crudités and then calling it rabbit food and sending it back. At the end of the meal, he says: “Where do I put this comment card?” Me: “See that black box over there? Right in there!”

Guy, thinking he’s being incredibly witty and funny, when he’s actually being a total doofus: “Did you just ask me to stuff your box?!” Me: “Nope, mine isn’t black, sir. Bye! I need to actually help people now". His friends started cracking up and his face turned bright red. I don’t understand people who make inappropriate comments like that in public.

It made the entire meal uncomfortable for the rest of the evening, and his friends were clearly not impressed by the way he was treating me.

Permalink

29. Just One Of Those Things

This is kind of a long one. I was working in a resort. One of the guests there was a Type A jerk that thinks he's above everything. You know the type. Obviously, he has to be the "group leader" of a table full of four or five other dudes. During my spiel, I tell the table we are out of a certain thing. I don't even remember what it was or why I had mentioned it.

So I start taking the table's order and eventually get to him. Him: "I'll have the THING". Me: "As I just said, sir, we're out of the thing". Him: "Maybe I'll just call my GOOD FRIEND GENERAL MANAGER and they'll find some for me". Me: "You're more than welcome to do so, but the number on the business card you picked up at the front is an office number, not their personal phone. Also, they're the one that just told me that we're out of the THING...

“Maybe if you had called GENERAL MANAGER in advance to let your GOOD FRIEND know you were coming, we could have held some back especially for you". Now, this may not seem all that destructive, but to this guy, at this table full of his colleagues, trying to seem all-powerful, it was freaking BRUTAL. He TRIED to save face, but it failed so darn hard.

Him: "Well, if you can't keep your food in stock, then we probably should have gone somewhere else to eat". The gauntlet has been thrown down. Me: "That's an excellent idea, sir. Would you like me to check if there is a table free at our steakhouse?" Him: "Yes, maybe then I can get some food". He starts talking to the other guys in the group like somehow we're in the wrong here.

They're ALL just looking at him like he's a total freaking lunatic, because he is. I go to the phone, call the steakhouse, and ask if they have space for one. Yes, you read that right. I asked if they had space for a table of one, not for the whole group he was with. They tell me that they do indeed have the room. Good. Back to the table.

Me: "You'll be happy to know, sir, that our steakhouse is able to accommodate you and will have a table waiting when you arrive". Him, in the jerkiest voice he can muster, which is nowhere NEAR as jerky as I could be: "THANK YOU for being of SOME KIND of service". He turns to the rest of the table. "Let's go, guys". That’s when the brutal surprise I’d planned for him came to light.

Me: "I'm sorry, sir, I was under the impression that you would be dining alone and didn't ask if they could take a party this size. I assumed they'd be dining with us seeing as they all ordered items we have available". The guy just looks dumbfounded. And while he's standing there trying to process this new development, one of the dudes at the table chimes in…

Other dude at the table: "Don't worry about it, bro, head on down there. We'll meet up at the resort bar for drinks later". The jerk grabs his drink, says nothing, and walks out. He hits the door and the rest of the table goes into that quiet "What a moron" type of laugh that only men of a certain age and income bracket are able to do properly.

The kind that lets you know this is funny now but come Monday that maniac's world is going to be slightly different in many, many small ways. The evening continues. Yes, this all happened. Yes, I still have even more stories from that night. Yes, I really freaking miss that job. Anyway, the evening continues and sometime after I bring that table their dessert, my GENERAL MANAGER pulls me aside.

General Manager: "What the heck happened? I spent the last half hour getting yelled at by some guy that says you were super rude to him". So I give the general manager a quick rundown of what had happened. I explained that we did not have what the gentleman wanted, so I made him a reservation at the steakhouse. End of story. I said I had no idea why he would possibly be upset.

I pointed out that his co-workers over at (insert table number here) are still around, having a great time. So the general manager goes over to their table and starts talking to them, presumably starting with how their meal was and ending with "What happened with the other guy that I saw with you?" It was freaking beautiful. They had my back the whole way.

They threw him so far under the bus for acting like a jerk that he rolled out the other side and got hit by a semi in the next lane over. They were nothing but complimentary to me, which was a nice bonus. Soon after, the general manager came back over and told me everything seemed fine with them, shrugged it off, and went back to doing whatever GMs do.

Overall, it was quite a satisfying experience for me, and I definitely have no regrets about how I acted! For anyone that has actually read this far, just take this bit of information and carry it with you always: NOTHING infuriates lousy human beings more than someone doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT DONE... monkey paw style.

phtagnlol

30. Out Of The Frying Pan, Into The Fryer

people standing in field covered with snow near white and brown wooden housePhoto by Madison Olling on Unsplash

Many years ago, I was working the counter at a ski resort's cafe. On one occasion, this teenage jerk came up to the counter with a container of French fries and said that he didn't bring any money, so he asked if he could just have them for free. I said nope. He said, "But I'm a good customer". And I said okay, but the French fries are for paying customers.

And I then proceeded to take them away from him and pop one in my mouth right in front of him. He had nothing to say to that, but his friend cracked up with laughter and apologized to me on his behalf. Apparently, the friend had been pretty embarrassed by the whole incident. When I turned around after this, all of my co-workers were in awe of how perfect the moment was.

DeliciousMrJones

31. Stopping The Gravy Train

My elderly neighbor has some connections at the Boston Pizza restaurant chain and, as a result, always gets free gravy with her fries. One time, when she went to this other restaurant called Humpty's, she asked for gravy. When she was told she would be charged a couple of dollars extra for it, she said: "But I always get it for free at Boston Pizza". The server promptly told her that she could go back to Boston Pizza, then.

DivisionBy-0

32. Did I Hear That Right?

I'm not a server, but I thought you folks might like this one anyways. I worked at Target a few years ago. When it's time to close up, a speaker warns you about 15 or so minutes early and asks you to start to wrap things up. So one day, this lady is going through clothes on the shelf at the speed of a snail. Taking her sweet time. The first warning announcement goes off.

She doesn’t react and continues slowly looking at items. All of a sudden, the recording plays again, announcing that we are closing in one minute. That’s when I came up with a plan. I walk up to her and pretend I know sign language, and start fake signing. She asks what I am doing. I replied: “Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you were deaf, since you clearly didn’t react to the announcement that we’re closing right now".

She had no idea how to respond.

Gorsham

33. Two Meals For The Price Of None

man in white dress shirt pouring water on clear glass bottlePhoto by Dan Burton on Unsplash

I had one of those women who always complains about their food, hoping to get it comped. Which she did. But then she asked for a to-go box. I said: “I thought you didn't like your meal. Are you sure you want to take it home?” She got annoyed. I should have refused to give her the box, but I was new so I boxed it for her. I got no tip of course.

truisluv

34. Slicing Up His Ego

I work at a, but it’s in North Carolina. This one time, a customer came in and ordered a slice of pizza. This is how the conversation went. Customer: “Is this really a New York slice?” My manager: “How about you get the heck out of here?? Is that New York enough for ya?” The guy actually laughed. It was pretty awesome.

Faboc

35. Phoning A Friend

I'll never forget this story. I work in retail. To be more specific, I work at a big box home improvement store that deals with a lot of contractors, but I got promoted to a Human Resources position, so I don't work with customers that often anymore. That being said, I like to work the floor still from time to time, just to help out.

One small-time contractor was trying to return three large flat carts full of merchandise from her last job, and she wanted the money back in cash with no receipt. We offered to look through all of her orders in the system to find the receipts, but she didn't want to wait for that. She just wanted the cash right then and there.

So I start ringing up the merchandise, knowing full well that the system won't let me return it with no cash, but I just wanted to show her with her own eyes that store credit was the only option in this situation. The merchandise ends up totaling around $3,000, and I show her the register says "Store Credit Only". She gets irate and demands to speak to the store manager.

I tell her that he's not available and that, even if he was, even he couldn't override the system. She says something along the lines of "I don't know what magic wand you just used to make that happen, but the store manager has helped me do this before, and I want him to do it again. He knows me, and if you tell him who I am, then he will help". Well, I wasn’t letting her get out of there without a healthy dose of humiliation.

So I whip out my cell phone and call his personal phone, "Hey Store Manager! I'm really sorry to bother you on your vacation, but I have a customer here who has a problem that she says only you can fix. Do you remember [Contractor's name]? Oh, you don't? Well, she says you helped her return merchandise without a receipt for cash? You don't remember that? Okay. Yeah, I'll have one of the assistant managers take care of it".

She was NOT happy, and I told her that the only way we could do what she was asking us to do was by having one of the assistant managers call up our Regional Asset Protection manager, who would have to investigate and then decide whether or not to approve it, which could take quite some time. She ended up taking the store credit.

masterk2014

36. Take Me To Church

couple kissing on the road during daytimePhoto by FORMAT arw on Unsplash

I will always remember my personal favorite story about this topic. There was this older couple, around 70ish, who would always come into this chain restaurant to eat every Sunday after church. While the wife was extremely polite, the guy was an absolute bag of jerks all rolled into one. He often yelled and berated his wife, along with the server.

On one fateful day, I was graced with their presence once again. He was being his normal jerk of a self towards me, and even worse to his wife on this particular occasion. Finally, I had had enough of his mistreatment toward his wife and said, “You better watch it, pal, because no matter what you say or what you do, I’ll have at least two minutes alone with your food before I bring it out. Bon appetit!”

The wife absolutely lost her mind laughing. He shot her a mean glare, to try and intimidate her into stopping the laughter. After hesitating for a split second, she continued with even louder laughing. In reality, I never touched his food…and neither did he. But the threat was enough to get the job done. They never came back. I hope the wife is doing okay!

lockeland

37. Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer

When I was 16 years old and waitressing as my first job, a woman kept criticizing the food during a busy night, demanding free meals. Eventually, she started making personal remarks towards me. I replied with the most savage burn I could think up at the time. "I know you are, but what am I?" Brilliant, I know! She went up to start complaining to the manager, who didn't care and just walked off mid-sentence.

manlikerealities

38. Going Down With The Ship

I’m a former waiter turned flight attendant. I fly on a regional plane in which there is a rear jumpseat at the back, surrounded by two passengers on the left, and another two on the right. This means that I am squished right in the middle. One time, some guy was giving me a hard time about being in the back and he was talking smack. My response?

"If the plane goes down, I will be surrounded by four squishy bodies and probably walk away unscathed. That's why I am here, in the back, in the middle, in this tiny seat. Bodies make GREAT padding". The look of silence on his face was priceless. Thankfully, he didn’t bother me again for the entire remainder of the flight.

tommygunz007

39. All’s Well That Ends Well

man in white and black pinstripe suit jacketPhoto by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

When I worked in a restaurant, I once waited on a dude and a group of his friends; and he was just generally being a big jerk towards me the whole time. Condescending, snapping his fingers to get my attention, calling me sweetie, the whole nine yards. He also kept claiming that he was a “friend of the owner” and that he should be able to order from the breakfast menu because of this.

Even though I said no and informed him that all of our breakfast stuff is put away, and that this time of day was open for dinner service only. Well, after a while, I decided that I'd had about enough. When he got the bill, because there were so many in his party, I was able to autograt it (meaning add an automatic 20% tip for myself on their check).

I brought him his bill and explained the autograt, and he looked at me and said “Wow, are you really okay with only getting this amount for your tip? I could've left you more, you know!” And I immediately replied, “Oh, don't worry, there's a line below the autograt where you can add even more of a tip if you want!” And I walked away. I guess out of sheer embarrassment, he did end up leaving me more.

oceanfishie

40. Take It Up With The Board

Not me personally, but this happened to my manager in a luxury boutique hotel. The building dates back to the 16th century, in an old town with cobbled streets and antique shops. People come for the charm of the good ol’ days. One time, I had a customer leave a TripAdvisor online review. The reason why was insane. She complained that the floorboards in the hotel freaked her out.

My manager responded by pointing out the age of the building and told the customer that next time they would probably be more comfortable staying at a Travelodge. We all laughed our heads off when we read that reply. We even had a guest check in a few weeks later who told me that he’d seen the manager's response to that review, and that it had convinced him to come and stay at the hotel.

MapOfIllHealth

41. Spicing Things Up A Bit

I don’t work in a restaurant or a typical retail type of store, but this story does have to do with a customer service incident in relation to selling food. The place I work for is a 24-hour shop, so we are always open regardless of what time of day or night it is. On this one particular occasion, a customer comes in at around midnight, looking for a specific product.

She was something like 65 years old or so and super grouchy, yelling irrationally about how she wants this certain extremely specific thing to cook a dish. We didn’t have it in stock, and as far as I was aware no other store did either. It didn’t even exist locally. It was some super specific, uncommon foreign spice thing.

I don’t even remember exactly what it was called anymore, as this story happened well over a decade ago at this point. Anyway, eventually, after several minutes of this woman’s ranting and raving, our assistant store manager comes up, smiles, and asks if he can be of assistance. We hadn’t even called for him or anything.

He just heard her from all the way in the back of the store and thought he should see what the heck was going on. He asks what she wants and she repeats her ridiculous demands. He politely apologizes and tells her: “No, unfortunately, that’s a product that we don’t carry, but [alternate local grocer that’s also open 24/7] does. It’s just up the street about a mile or so".

She thanks him, and leaves. I ask him about it, knowing that it was clearly a lie, and he says, “No, of course they don’t have it, this woman is clearly out of her mind. But now it’s that store’s problem and not mine". Can’t argue with that! I’ve always wondered what might have happened when she arrived at the other store and discovered they didn’t have it either. But I guess I’ll never know!

Sir_Myshkin

42. Dinner And A Show

woman holding black wooden panelPhoto by Timothy Barlin on Unsplash

I was a customer in this case, but I witnessed the whole thing. I was waiting for my to-go order of fried chicken one night and I overheard this crazy redneck jerk giving his waitress a hard time because his fried chicken was unsatisfactory and “not like mama used to make". The waitress literally just stared at him silently for a few moments, then told him to go make it himself if he didn’t like it the way we made it.

She then triumphantly walked off, and the guy just sat there with a stupid look on his face not knowing what to say or do. And then every single person in the restaurant erupted with applause and cheers.

carmelacorleone

43. Cracking The Code

I once had a customer harassing me over a product that he had bought and wanted to return. He had no receipt, it was well over the return date, and he claimed he had paid for it in cash, so there was no paper trail or evidence of the transaction whatsoever. I told him that the return policy was only valid within 30 days of the purchase, and that he also had to have a receipt in order to receive a refund.

Him: “You’re just paid to say that". Me: “As a matter of fact, I am paid to say that. That’s how jobs work!” He didn’t know what to say. But I never saw his scamming butt in the store again!

cabbages

44. Now That’s What I Call A Corny Reaction

As the owner, I love this story. I used to own a concession business, selling various novelty food items like kettle corn, shaved ice, etc. One of our weekly shows was very busy. So busy, in fact, that we pretty much had 50 or more customers in line for the entire day, without any break. Admittedly, the wait for our items took a bit, due to these extremely long lines.

However, my staff and I busted our butts like there was an electric cord shoved up our rear ends to give people service as quickly as possible. Nevertheless, this one guy is non-stop whining. I can hear him from 20 people away. So I wait. Once he's just a few people away from the front, I turn to my staff and say, "Time to shut off the equipment!"

The equipment was loud, so turning it off created an odd silence. With there still being more than 50 people in line, I turn to the guy—and left him utterly humiliated. I say loud enough for everyone in line to hear. "Sir, I'm not sure if you noticed how hard my staff is working to get you your kettle corn as quickly as possible. Perhaps, you have some suggestions for us to make it go faster for you".

I can't remember if he stayed, but everyone else in line clapped on behalf of my staff. The customer is NOT always right.

TheIronKurtin

45. There’s Something Fishy About This

person holding stainless steel fork and bread knifePhoto by Seb Reivers on Unsplash

I live in a small town and I used to work in a fish and chips shop, one of two such shops in the town. We were a tourist town, and one of the main attractions was the award-winning fish and chips we boast. I believe our shop was one of the top five fish and chips shops in the county while I was there. People in the town believed we were in massive competition with the other shop, but the truth is we really weren't.

We had more than 25 staff members employed. They had around seven or eight in total. We were serving thousands more customers than them per week, or even per day in the summer. So, on the rare occasion when a customer got angry, they would simply exclaim “WELL, I’M GOING TO [INSERT SUPPOSED COMPETITORS NAME HERE] INSTEAD, AND I WON'T BE BACK!”

They said this as if it was a big deal and would really hurt our feelings and/or our business. We would simply reply by telling them that we don't want them back anyway, and that they should enjoy the food from the other shop. There’s also one little interesting detail that we generally chose not to tell them in these situations. We owned both shops.

ToxicHazard-

46. Down To A Science

We don’t use trays at the restaurant I work at. Instead, you just take what you can carry and go back for the rest, or have someone follow you. I usually just carry one item in each hand so I don’t risk dropping things when delivering customers’ items to their tables. Pretty often, I’ll immediately hear “Uhhh, we’re missing [insert random item here]” in a condescending or rude way.

99% of the time, these comments are from older people. I just always politely say, without missing a beat, “Ma’am [or sir]. I only have two hands". Not especially creative or a witty clapback, but it always shuts them up fast and gives me a nice sense of satisfaction. Why do people have to be so rude to the staff that’s trying to serve them?

narcissablack

47. Minding Other People’s Business

An older woman at my table once asked me what my mother must think about all my tattoos, and I said, “Well, my father doesn’t mind". She didn’t take the hint. I guess it wasn’t a very good hint for someone as slow as her. She then asked “Well, what about your mother?” To which I replied: “She’s dead. She doesn’t do a lot of thinking these days".

Did she stop there? Nope. That would be too logical for someone as dumb as this moron. She then had the gall to say to me: “Did she die of SHAME?” I just calmly said: “Nope. Breast cancer". I then dropped the check and walked away. They weren’t done eating, but her guests looked like they wanted to leave right then and there.

otterlikenoother

48. Check, Please!

I used to be a server in Muskoka, Ontario many years ago. For those who don’t know, this is one of the most popular upscale summer cottage regions in Canada. There are always lots of celebrities in the area for the summer, and in my day I served burgers to Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, drinks to Martin Short and Dan Akroyd, and got to meet many other big names.

One time, I had a local nobody at one of my tables who thought he was a big-shot celebrity. He would never tip and would always crumple up both copies of the Visa bill into a tiny little ball—but that’s not the worst part. He would even chew on it the receipts until they were the size of a spitball. So this jerk comes in with a bunch of friends and treats them all to supper, running up a $600 bill.

He then crumples up the Visa bills again into a tiny little ball and flicks it at me with a grin on his face. I swiftly kick it off the patio and it falls into the lake our patio is on. He sees this and says in front of the whole table, "I guess you won't know what your tip is now!" I tell the whole table flat out that he never tips anyway, so no big loss.

I then walk away, leaving them to awkwardly digest what I had just said. But I didn’t stop there. Eventually, they left. At that moment, I immediately called the authorities and reported him on a “dine and dash” claim, because there is no evidence that this guy paid for his dinner since the receipt was in the lake now. I even deleted the pre-authorization from the debit machine, just for good measure.

So a bunch of officers show up at this guy's house and make him return to the restaurant to pay again. He was never a jerk to me ever again.

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49. The Ranch Lifestyle

waiter serving beveragesPhoto by Kate Townsend on Unsplash

I was serving a group of 40 people with one other server. As we’re bringing plates out, she asks me for a side of ranch dressing. As I’m bringing the second set of plates out (it took me four or five trips), she asks again. Then again. Obviously, I’m going to bring people’s hot food out before your freaking ranch, lady. Basically, I ended up “forgetting” about her ranch because she wouldn't stop asking when I clearly couldn't physically bring it out yet.

She waits around after everyone leaves. By the way, this was a free meal being paid for by people hosting these people so they could tell them about some business opportunity, so she wasn’t even a paying customer. Once everyone is gone, she asks me in a snobby tone if I was ever going to get her ranch, and without thinking I just said "no".

Lady loses it and literally starts yelling at me. And in my calmest voice (since people don't like you being calm when they’re raging, it makes them angrier), I said "Haha, okay. Maybe don't yell at me," to which she kept yelling. So I again calmly went "Okay haha, but maybe don't yell at me". And after the second one, I could actually see the clarity wash over her.

Like she suddenly developed self-awareness for a split second. My clapback wasn't witty, but she realized she was flying off the handle. It was a great feeling.

imagine_thinking

50. He Knew Egg-sactly What He Was Doing

One night at the restaurant where I work, the host seated a table for me to serve. It was a couple and their toddler. The two sat on the same side of the booth, kissed, etc., so I knew they were a couple, but the woman looked much older than the man. Like, she looked terrible. I'm sure it was due to substance use of some kind, but regardless it was very clearly noticeable.

So she's super rude to me the entire time. She asked for her eggs over easy hard. Our conversation went like this. Me: “Ma'am, your eggs can be over easy, which is kind of runny, or over hard where they're fully cooked". Her: “Oh, bless your heart, you have no idea do you?” Me: “Ma'am?” Her: “Why don't you get me a real server, and he can make my eggs the way I like them".

Me: “Uhh, ma'am, I know how eggs are cooked. Over easy hard doesn't tell me anything. Do you want them over medium?” Her: “How hard is your job? Honestly, how hard is it to just serve people eggs?” I'd had it at that point. I gave her order to the cook, and of course, he asked me what she meant. I told him to just make them over medium, as I felt like that was what she meant.

I gave her the eggs and she sighed real heavily. Her: “I'm sorry, was my order too hard for you? Did ya not understand me? What the heck kind of place is this that nobody can make me eggs?” I took a deep breath—and gave her the comeback of a lifetime. I said: “Ma'am, I apologize to you, your son, and your grandson. Let me go ahead and comp your meal".

Her face twisted up and got so red that I thought it was going to pop off of her face. “THIS IS MY HUSBAND AND THAT'S MY SON!!” Ohh boy, it was so worth it. “WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER!! I NEED YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!!” I got my manager. He yelled at me in the office, but couldn't prove that I was purposefully disingenuous.

VespineWings