Creative People Riff Off An "Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away" With Other Fruits and Veggies[rebelmouse-image 18347681 is_animated_gif=
Apples didn't work out so well for Adam and Eve or Snow White, but the saying goes that an apple a day is good for you. Of course it's only supposed to keep away doctors, not snakes or evil stepmothers.
Reddit user SpacedJ asked "If garlic keeps vampires away, and apples keep doctors away, what do other fruits and vegetables keep away?"
Here are the suggestions.
iNom[rebelmouse-image 18347682 is_animated_gif=
Apple keeps PC gamers away.
Dipped in Olive Oyl?[rebelmouse-image 18347683 is_animated_gif=
Spinach keeps Bluto away.
Toasty[rebelmouse-image 18347684 is_animated_gif=
Avocados (on toast) keep the baby boomers away.
Or will keep millennials away from owning real estate.
Holes in the Story[rebelmouse-image 18347685 is_animated_gif=
Onions keep Yellow Spotted Lizards away.
To the Yard[rebelmouse-image 18347686 is_animated_gif=
Milkshakes bring boys. So not that.
Too Soon[rebelmouse-image 18347687 is_animated_gif=
Potatoes don't keep anyone away, everyone loves potatoes.
Maybe they keep hatred away.
A LACK of potatoes keeps the Irish away.
Poor Kitty[rebelmouse-image 18347688 is_animated_gif=
Cucumbers keep the cats away.
Did Someone Lose a Bet?[rebelmouse-image 18347689 is_animated_gif=
Durian fruit keeps away everyone.
Pizza Isn't Hawaiian or Italian[rebelmouse-image 18347690 is_animated_gif=
Pineapple is a well known Italian repellent.
Eggsactly[rebelmouse-image 18347691 is_animated_gif=
I recently brought hard boiled eggs to work and my coworker (older than me by 40 years) got super confused and freaked out because my eggs were brown. He had never, in 65 years, seen a brown chicken egg. "Aren't eggs supposed to be white?" He kept asking. I explained that chicken eggs can come in all kinds of colors and I swear I blew his mind. He then went into a tirade, demanding to know why the brown eggs "cost more." He literally didn't know they existed a moment before, but just assumed they cost more than white eggs. He got so upset he left and didn't come back to the water cooler for the rest of the day.
So, brown eggs keep the confused baby boomer away, I guess.
White is Just Bleached Wheat[rebelmouse-image 18347693 is_animated_gif=
Worked in Subway. During very busy days, (especially) towards the evening, we have run out of white bread. Apparently plain brown bread is enough to scare away 95% of customers.
Lob It[rebelmouse-image 18347694 is_animated_gif=
Any type of fruit can keep anyone away, as long you throw it hard enough.
Ghosted[rebelmouse-image 18347695 is_animated_gif=
Ghost pepper sauce in a spray can keeps lots of things away.
Dilly Dilly[rebelmouse-image 18347697 is_animated_gif=
Lavender keeps moths out of your closet. It also keeps spiders and scorpions away
He's Got an Office in Transylvania[rebelmouse-image 18347698 is_animated_gif=
Garlic soaked apples keep away Dr. Acula.
Sometimes...[rebelmouse-image 18347699 is_animated_gif=
Rotten tomatoes keep moviegoers away.
Romance Repellent[rebelmouse-image 18347700 is_animated_gif=
Beans keep potential dates away.
The United States Supreme Court has held that tax exemption for churches is constitutional under the Establishment Clause. Moreover, the Court has found that churches and religious organizations may be subject to a general sales and use tax; however, the Court has not addressed whether government may enact a specific "church tax."
The constitution of a number of countries such as the United States could be and have been interpreted as both supporting and prohibiting the levying of taxes unto churches; prohibiting church tax could separate church and state fiscally, but it could also be favorable treatment by the government.
When you consider that many churches have made unsavory headlines for engaging in political activity anyway, it's no wonder why the separation of church and state—and whether or not churches should be stripped of their tax-exempt status—remains such a hot topic.
To that end, the idea that churches are threatened by government overreach is also a hot topic, particularly on the more conservative side of the aisle. For example, in October 2021, Tennessee Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn made the odd claim that President Joe Biden aimed to "close the churches" as soon as Democrats could pass a much-scrutinized infrastructure bill.
Blackburn's assertion that churches would be closed down as soon as the bill is approved appears to have materialized out of thin air. In fact, where the infrastructure bill does mention churches is quite positive. The bill, which the Senate ultimately passed, provides $50 million in grants to nonprofits, including religious congregations, so they can upgrade their buildings with new energy-efficient heating and cooling systems.
We did tell you this is a hot-button issue. People were all too eager to share their thoughts with us after one Redditor asked the online community,
"Would you support taxing churches? Why or why not?"
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..."
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) had over $130 billion in the stock market many years back. Yet they are tax exempt."
And did you know that news outlets reported in 2019 that the Mormon Church amassed a fund worth more than $100 billion so its members could prepare for the "Second Coming of Christ"?
Yeah, that was a thing.
"If churches were nothing more..."
"If churches were nothing more than local parishes who served the community, collected donations to keep the lights on, and the priests were working class folks who took the job as a "calling" rather than a business opportunity?"
"I'd be more than happy to let them slide. It would be like taxing a soup kitchen, and who wants to do that?"
"But if the local 'pastor' has a Gulfstream? Tax the sh** out of him. And if they even bring up politics from the pulpit? Tax the ever-loving sh** out of them."
Religious doctrine will always have political implications. Makes sense, right?
"I'm a Christian..."
"I'm a Christian and have served in church leadership, I'm in favor of taxing churches. Churches exist in society and should contribute to it. I do have some caveats."
"One: I think governments should use taxes for the betterment of communities. That includes physical infrastructure, but also caring for the poor, sick, elderly, etc. All of that is a part of the church's overall mission. I see no reason why the church shouldn't be in favor of the government doing those things, and paying taxes in support of that."
"Two: I think churches should be able to write off any charitable giving. That would obviously have to be well defined; however, I think it would incentivize churches actually helping people, rather than misusing funds (which tons of churches do. There are good churches out there that care a lot for their communities, but there are many that don't)."
The ability to write off charitable giving is the devil in the details. No matter how you word it. It will be worked around. There are tons of lawyers whose only job is to know the tax code and give rich people/corporations tax breaks.
Still, this is surely an improvement over a default charitable status that is only reviewed under an occasional audit.
"Churches that provide..."
"Churches that provide community social services should be tax exempt. Churches that have large holdings, or church leaders with lavish homes or engage in political activities should not."
It would be soooo easy for a rich pastor to claim he's compliant with the tax free requirements.
If a church is doing enough social service to actually qualify as a non-profit, then they can file as one. There is no reason to give them any special rules or exceptions.
"I do believe..."
"I do believe in separation of church and state. I feel if a church is donating more to the people than the church then no taxes. I'd rather have the money go to the people than the government."
As I recall, this is the original idea. Churches are not supposed to have influence on the political process and thus would be exempt from taxes because of that. But the church has not been keeping their end of the bargain.
"My aunt runs a church."
"My aunt runs a church. Over 90% of donations actually go towards charity work, such as healthcare and food for the homeless, clothes and school supplies for children. In many impoverished communities, churches are the only institutions truly keeping people housed and fed."
"Churches should be audited, as should any nonprofit. Saying they’re all bad is ignorant. Taxing them all would be robbing the poor."
If only things were this simple. Alas.
"Send your videos..."
"Well you can certainly get them in trouble by recording their sermon telling you who to vote for. It’s against the law for these religious institutions to influence anyone to vote for or against any political candidate."
"Send your videos and complaints to the IRS."
This was a big deal in Kansas over the last few weeks, particularly ahead of a crucial campaign that secured a win for reproductive rights activists after citizens voted to enshrine reproductive rights in the state constitution, the result of an effort to ensure the state—typically Republican and conservative—remains a safe haven for abortion in the Midwest.
"Yes, primarily because I think if churches or religions in general want to be playing a larger role in the politics of the world, as the various Christian denominations seem to desire in the U.S., then they should have to provide revenue and contribute to the nation or they should shut up."
Straight and to the point, I see!
"Churches should have to go by..."
"Churches should have to go by the same rules as any other non-religious tax-exempt charity. File taxes proving where your money came from and where it went to prove you're using it for charitable purposes."
"Preaching is not, in and of itself, a charitable activity IMHO, so church buildings/expenditures used solely for church services don't deserve tax exempt status. Want to have something not taxed? It had better be actually helping someone."
Now if only we could fund the IRS appropriately...
"I think any business..."
"I think any business that makes a profit should be taxed. If you truly are being charitable then you shouldn't be making profit, all that excess income should be going back into growing the business and helping more people with whatever service you provide. Religious affiliation should be irrelevant."
Reforms would be pretty simple, provided there is bipartisan support in Congress. Enforcing them, however? Another matter entirely, and that's why it's important to stay on top of this issue.
This is a complex issue that is not likely to be resolved soon, and the impact of religious lobbying in Congress is certainly felt more than ever.
Would stripping churches of their tax-exempt status solve quite a few problems—namely the polarization and shoddy campaign finance laws—that have metastisized in American politics?
Answering that is not so easy.
Have some opinions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
We've all played the "What I would do if I was rich" game.
You've imagined a trillion scenarios for what you would do (after you paid off your debt, of course) with wads of cash. In your imagination, you've given money to friends, started charities or businesses, and probably bought your fair share of imaginary real estate.
And that's all just the basics. We haven't even gotten into all the rich-people hobbies you could take up like SCUBA golfing, sailboat customization, or learning how to melt down antique jewelry to make gem-encrusted bongs for yoga Wednesdays at the gym-slash-coffeehaus.
Reddit user BabySuperfreak asked:
"What's your fantasy 'rich person hobby'?"
Reddit is absolutely right there with you, folks.
CarpentrySeason 4 Wow GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Woodworking, which I already enjoy. But I'd have a huge workshop with all of the expensive tools."
"It's fun to figure out how you could spend increasingly large amounts of money on a hobby."
"$10k? Sweet garage shop."
"$100k? Build a huge shop and tweak it out. Loan it out to people who don't have access to shops."
"$1M? I have no idea. Train under the best woodworkers in the world? Visit exotic locales to see how materials/supplies are produced?"
"I just want my own bandsaw and I'll be happy, but yeah it's my dream to have my own little shop in a quaint little building in my backyard. It would be the cutest girliest little grandma-core workshop out of a fairytale picture book."
"I'd have little organized stations for everything and it would be so satisfying!"
"I've built a pretty decent 'shop' through marketplace and estate sales. Taken a while but I have most of the major tools I need. Affording wood is another story"
Want To Grab Lunch?
"I want to be a 'lady who lunches'."
"You could even step up your game and do 'Brunch' on Sunday! They would say 'wow she is so rich'.”
"Word. Except I think I would hate those people and just lunch w people who are self-employed artists and/or homeless."
"Those are the only two groups you'd eat lunch with?"
MiniaturesStartup Miniatures GIF by Mighty OakGiphy
"I love building miniatures. I helped my dad build a few models as a kid. Then I stumbled onto those miniature rooms you can buy on Amazon. Surprisingly cheap for the decent quality. I've done about 10 of them and have another 20 on my wishlist."
"I went to a hobby store the other day in search of a material for a custom mini, and my friend brought to me a giant box of a model of the Enterprise. For $1200. 3 months' rent."
"I know my first stop after winning the lottery"
"As a gamesworkshop fan I feel you. I’ve got a wishlist too."
"Being rich, you could build 1:1 scale miniatures."
SailingSewing Bee Hello GIF by The Great British Sewing BeeGiphy
"Sailing sounds fun as hell"
"Sailing is fun as hell. I’ve been crewing now for about 7 years."
"Sailing is cheap. It is owning a boat that’s expensive. I pay $350 a year for access to my local club’s boats if I do want to go take a boat out myself."
"Boat owners frequently spend $350 on parts for a single event, and people always need dependable and reliable crew."
"I’ve even gotten flown out to tropical places and had my accommodations paid for at bigger events! I don’t even own a boat, just pull lines!"
"If you live near a racing community, you can get into sailing at the cost of maybe some sandwiches for the team, or occasionally replacing sunglasses you drop in the drink, you just need the right attitude."
"I agree, but only during the day as the ocean according to videos seems pretty terrifying looking at night"
"Sailing is it for me too, particularly cruising. I'd like a nice, 45 ft catamaran that I could cruise around on with the family."
"I have more immediate ambitions to get a little beach cat (Hobie cat, etc) or a dinghy and improve my sailing skills."
"My local 'yacht club' has a learn to sail class that's pretty affordable for a two day introductory class and going out sailing twice (~$100). I did it last year, but I'm considering doing it again as I didn't exactly consolidate my skillet with practice in between."
"Traveling. I know it isn’t much of a hobby, but traveling can be very expensive, and I’ve always wanted to travel the world."
"Beside the cost, getting time off from your full time job can be very hard. I want to spend the summer traveling in XYZ, not fly in, have a couple of days looking around then fly back to work. There's no time to really relax and enjoy the experience"
"Be one of those people perpetually on vacation."
"I'm with you on that. I see all the wonderful places to travel and will never be able to go to them. At least many are on streaming channels now."
"Traveling without budget or ANY money worries. I'd like that. No more sh*tty third-grade hotels and public transportation *joys* and just enjoying the trip."
"I'd travel the world till I physically can't lol that sounds fun"
Esthetic Farmingcalfs GIFGiphy
"Owning a hobby farm/garden with *small breeds of farm animals (mini cheviot sheep, serama chickens, bantam call ducks, miniature jersey cows) *lush vegetation (english garden/new cottage style landscaping) *an orchard with a huge range of different kinds of each fruit and climate controlled greenhouses for plants that wouldn't grow in my region"
"Would they be miniature fruit trees? I want the small animals walking amongst the small trees with small fruit."
"I would love it to have ducks, cats, dogs, rabbits anything to be honest and just watch them enjoy their time and play around. A small pond for the animals to cool down, big trees for nice cool shadows and also some fruits that drop for them etc."
"I'd like to have a large collection of really cool fossils. The really neat ones are expensive."
"Oooh, good thought. You know there's a tech billionaire somewhere (I'm blanking on which one) that got really into collecting gemstones after he got swindled into buying some fakes."
"He found the geology of them fascinating and now he has the biggest jewel collection outside of a royal family and was in a documentary talking about them."
"I think pure geekery unfettered by financial restraints may my favorite use of a large fortune."
"Like a complete T-Rex skeleton and a complete Triceratops skeleton and make them fight like action figures... I'm not going to judge."
Preservation Of WildlifeHappy Feel Good GIFGiphy
"I'd really like to hire a ton of experts to help me find and preserve a wildlife habitat with all native species."
"Get rid of all the invasive plants and whatnot and make it how it was before we got here. I'd be the anti gardener."
"Same goals club! I’ve got a good 100 acres chugging away just woods. Have had several offers to buy it but they’re gonna have to wait til I’m dead."
"Last guy asked me why I wouldn’t sell. 'Because somebody already lives there sir.' Him-' but your house is way up there.' Me- 'yea but the birds and bugs live here.' Also learned that old people get pissed off when young people own land and don’t develop it into housing editions. 'People could live here!' People could live somewhere else too."
"Mine is similar: I want to make a huge bee sanctuary filled with all sorts of wildflowers and plants, with an absolute ton of pollinators like bees, butterflies and moths."
"Also all sorts of other interesting plants like oak trees and wild grass."
"Yours is my favorite I think :)"
'Paying' It ForwardTalking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Anonymously paying debts or giving things to people in need."
"Robin Hood, that you?"
"I'd help with that if I could!"
"I think it would feel pretty amazing to sit in a bankruptcy court and pay off a defendant’s judgment. Idk how it works, though, like whether you can make a payment anonymously on someone else’s behalf."
"I wouldn’t pay off debts (other than to immediate family members), but I like the idea of randomly paying for groceries or gas for strangers."
"Especially at the last week or so of each month. Have some type of set up so I could have an arrangement with a store’s manager to call down to the cashier to just tell the customer after they scan everything, 'It’s your lucky day! You don’t have to pay!'."
"Operating a maker space that enriches the community and enables everyone to have access to tools and space to create anything they need / want."
"oh yeah my husband and I have talked about doing this"
"I'd love to have this for music. Like a rehearsal complex for certain younger artists I see potential in."
"Also have a recording studio nearby as well. Just try to develop some sort of niche community of musicians that focus on certain aspects of music"
"Have all the stuff like drumkits, guitar amps, all that in each room already (kind of like a normal rehearsal space you pay for). Maybe even some cheaper guitars so that even if you don't have money you can use them"
"Maybe do some community events with all the people, and who knows. Maybe some amazing bands or groups could come from it."
Alright bougie broke friends, it's your turn at the mic.
We know what Reddit would do for hobbies if they got rich, but what about you?
Anybody suddenly feel like funding a documentary into Tevin Campbell's life, music, and how homophobia robbed him of a bigger career and the community of a cornerstone personality?
No? Just me and my love for Mr. Campbell acting up again?
When it comes to expressing love, there is a multitude of ways to go about it. Most people stick to the classic: using the words "I love you."
But that's not the only way.
Using thoughtful gestures, love languages, special messages, or even just remembering little details about another person are all great ways to express love.
Curious about all the different ways of expressing love, Redditor sadesspresso asked:
"What is the best way to say “I love you” without actually saying “I love you”?"
"The moon is beautiful...."
"Some old japanese man told me some story and 'the moon is beautiful ' is supposed to mean I love you...."
"Minä rakastan sinua"
"Just say it in another language, and keep learning new languages."
Through Their Stomach
"I made your favourite food"
"This is the way. I bake my husband his favourite treats even though he’s the only one who likes them. That way if he’s having a blah day at work he opens his lunch and feels love"
"Definitely the way! I would love to just receive some homecooked food without having to ask first!"
Pride And Pride
"I’m proud of you"
"My wife pulled me aside after an especially brutal day at work and hugged me and whispered this in my ear. This was two weeks ago. I'm still floating."
Appreciating The Superstitions
"Kissing my husband goodbye before he goes to work."
"I read somewhere that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live five years longer than those who don't. So even if I'm not a morning person, I drag myself out of the bed to make sure that I give him a kiss before he leaves for work. It might or might not be true, but I wish to do everything I can so he could live longer because I kinda like him."
"I kiss him when he arrives at work. He will live long."
Using Their Love Language
"There are different kinds of love languages aside from saying I love you. Giving gifts, physical touch, doing acts of service or nice things for them, and spending quality time. I think for me, time is such a selfless love language, because you’re showing that person that they are actually worth your time. And it doesn’t have to spent doing anything extravagant."
"Figuring out their love language and doing something that speaks to them most."
"Depends on what their love languages are. That shi* works."
"Remembering the small details."
"Remembering their likes and dislikes, favorite color, personal style, etc. Using the knowledge to please them often."
"The best way is to show how you care."
"Eg, you're making a coffee or cup of tea and you make one for them without asking, because you already know they'll say yes if you ask."
"Or they're working outside in the sun and you come out with a cold drink for them."
"Small things that show you're thinking about them."
"Surprise them with their favorite food or snacks/dessert. Ask them how their day is. Do their chores before they notice."
"Making sure their phone is fully charged for them before they leave the house."
Getting Home Safe
"Text me when you get home"
"This. My BF and I say this every time and do text each other when we do get home."
I Choose You
"If I had to choose between rescuing you or my PC from a fire, it'd only take me 10 seconds to choose you."
"I cleaned out the cat’s litter box so you don’t have to."
"According to my wife... Doing the dishes."
"Came home from work yesterday knowing I had to do laundry."
"In my apartment complex that just means walking up a flight of steps, walking down an outdoor hallway, and unlocking a door to the laundry room. But it's such a pain in because you have to set alarms for yourself and come back out to move the clothes to the dryer and collect them before you even get to worry about folding them."
"So yesterday I came home from work and my bf had done my laundry for me. He didn't fold it, but it was sitting, clean and done, by our bed ready to be folded and put away. No alarms, no trips, just a quick little in-place chore and it was over."
"That to me is love."
Well, after all, actions speak louder than words.
It doesn't have to be all about action, however. Just finding a new way to say, "I love you" can do wonders for you and the people you love.
Humans fall in and out of grace with one another constantly.
At first, you can really like someone.
Enjoy their company.
Spend tons of quality time with them.
Then one day, they drop the facade of their character and show you some true colors.
Then respect goes out the window.
RedditorMissMona_69 wanted to talk about all the people we can longer be face to face with.
"What types of people have you no respect for?"
I can't stand hypocrites. I lose all respect there.
"People who fake mental illnesses for attention."
"SO TRUE. In middle school, I had a friend who faked mental illnesses (not 100% sure but at least 99.9% of the things they said were self-inconsistent). Screwed up my perspective on mental illness and I'm still trying to change that."'
"People who don’t understand the difference between opinion & fact and assume that their opinion is a fact."
"For some reason I see a crap ton of this in a horror movie group I'm in. Horror is such a subjective genre with many various subgenres and the amount of people that just absolutely crap on movies and state their opinions as fact is annoying as hell. Of course the music groups I'm in do the same thing too."
"People who can't admit they are in the wrong and sidestep by blaming you for something that happened years ago."
"My mom does it to me too. If she screws up, she blames me, and once proven wrong, she immediately brings up how I screwed something up from like 14 years ago, and somehow uses that to make me feel like it is my fault."
"People who take advantage of old, senile people. What caliber of piece of crap must you be."
"I used to work in supportive housing for folks with various disabilities, one day a client came to be crying because he didn’t have rent for the month. The reason?"
"He was scammed by someone pretending to be from social security. They called him to say that he had to pay back money from a (fabricated) overpayment or he would go to jail. It was extremely sad. Also saw lots of lonely elderly folks get scammed by internet 'girlfriends,' F**k scammers."
"YES! Here is where the true rage comes in! I live in a beautiful city and the amount of litter is revolting. It makes me so angry. I never chuck anything on the damn floor as there will undoubtedly be a bin nearby. It’s just laziness and carelessness."
Why do people litter? It's so gross. Save the world.
The Real Truth
"People who speak 'truth' without trying to understand perspectives outside their own."
"Along those lines, people who describe themselves as 'brutally honest.' Nah, chances are you're just an a**hole."
"People who are rude to wait staff and people who leave their shopping carts around the parking lot."
"I have always believed there are two types of people, those who return the cart to the corral and those who don’t. And this simple action tells me more about a person than a 2 hour long conversation."
"People who have no introspection and always play the victim."
"So I see you have met my brother. In the process of being sentenced for armed robbery but he still blames his pregnant gf with some bs about how it was to support them and regularly busts out the alligator tears to get our mom to put money on his books."
"People who crap on retail workers or lowest wages just to feel better than them with no reason, screw them all."
"I had a coworker like this, dude was brainwashed into believing the franchise license and stock when the giant corporation had very negative company health and it reflected... Most popular chains in retail encourage low wage and try to establish an odd seniority hierarchy."
"People who smoke around children, especially in the same car."
"I 100000% agree with you and I’m a smoker. I don’t care if it’s cold, raining, windy, hot I’m going to stand my a** outside and have a smoke. I don’t smoke inside my house and I never have."
"I think you’d like to meet my neighbor that lives downstairs. She smokes all day long with an infant strapped to her chest."
Well this is a long list of nonsense people. Steer clear.