Breaks aren't meant to be comedy fodder.

But if you don't laugh you'd only be crying.

I've never thought of throwing in a little wit when dumping someone.

Maybe it would've eased the pain.

Or gotten me punched in the face.


Let's hear some relationship humor for the bitter end.

Redditor Jamicandude69 wanted to hear all the creative one liners people have used to drop someone.

So they asked:

"IF people used 'break up lines' instead of 'pick up lines' what would some of them be??"

I've only broken up or been broken up with the old fashioned way.


madonna cherish GIFGiphy

"I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you."


"That is so good. Wish I would have thought to say that as a parting line to my ex-wife!"


"Hahahahaha haha this is cold!"



"If you take the 'L' out of LOVER. It's OVER."


"Gotta hold up the thumb and forefinger 'L' as this is said, of course."


"You droppin' Ls."


Slow Down

"Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend. Not so fast."


"A private was at boot camp when his father died. The mother asked the drill sergeant to let him know. So he had all the privates line up, and said, take a step forward if you have a dad. When the boy stepped forward the drill sergeant said, 'What are you doing stepping forward private, your father’s dead.'"



"We need to cover more ground so we should split up."


"Shaggy, you and Scooby check the basement, Velma check the library, Daphne and I will check the bedrooms."





Season 5 Wow GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy

"I checked my heart and it seems to be pretty broken down and my love for you is pretty empty so I’ll go investigate my thoughts."




The gym destroys everything.

Stay home...

Pumping Iron Sport GIF by Joko GIFsGiphy

"Hey babe, I think it's about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore."


"Damn, I left my ex after a fight involving me taking her off my gym membership. I should have used this."



"A boyfriend when I was 14 and I agreed if we ever broke up we would text the other 'I break up with you.' He broke up with me and didn't use the line. Weak. I loved him more than he loved me and it was too much for him. We stayed friends for years after until he got another girlfriend and she didn't like me and told him we had to stop talking, 10 years later they're still together and we haven't spoken since."


The Diet

"Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet."


"Girl, you look like a piece of lettuce and I'm going off my diet."


"This reminds me of some meme I saw years ago that said 'Your pants say yoga but your butt says McDonalds.'"



"You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years."


"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."


"So a long distance relationship? I don’t know. I’m just not ready for that level of commet-ment right now."



"Are we tectonic plates? Because we’re drifting apart."


"The use of tectonic plates could also be used as the pick up line for the same person. For example..."

"Are you a tectonic plate? Cause I'd love to to ram into you with force resulting in tremendous friction and heat."


"They say opposites attract, but you’re just too negative for me."


Let Go

true love cry GIFGiphy

"Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down."


Empty Pockets

"Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke."


"That wouldn’t be good for me I would owe her $25k in debt if the relationship was like my financial status."


That Girl

"I knew this girl in middle school who would break up with boys by saying: roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you."


"When I was in middle school I told a boy I was dumping him. He confidently yelled 'You can't dump me, I'm not garbage!' Respect. Allan was, and probably is, a very awesome dude. Sorry I dumped you in middle school."


Wow... people are ruthless when a relationship ends. Just say goodbye.

We love movies.

Movies and entertainment save the world.

But some movies can send you into a messy place.

Some topics are just a lot to handle.

That is why some films, when done right and authentically, are just too real to experience.

No need to watch that again.

Keep reading...Show less
man in blue t-shirt holding toddler in black hooded jacket near ocean under blue sky
Steven Van Loy on Unsplash

When we're kids, being an adult and getting to do whatever we want often seems like the bestest, most awesome thing we could imagine.

But not everything is better as an adult.

Jobs, responsibilities, and that weird back pain you always seem to get when you sit at your desk too long are just part of getting older. A lot of things that were awesome as a kid just don't hit the same as an adult either.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down The Creepiest Facts They Know

Life is full of mysteries. And while we seem to be cognizant of many of life's miracles, it's obvious there is still much to discover within the vastness of our existence.

Much of the world's known facts are fascinating–some even inspiring.

But there are some facts that are just downright ominous and unsettling to an extent where ignorance is bliss.

Keep reading...Show less
People Debate If They'd Want The Ability To Speak Every Language Or Play Every Musical Instrument

People are often impressed by those who are multilingual–mainly because they can't imagine having the ability to communicate with others in different languages themselves.

Equally respected individuals are those who can play multiple musical instruments. Sure, playing the piano alone is impressive. But if a pianist can also play the bass and drums–essentially being their own one-person band–that is also a major wow factor.

So if you had the option to have the capacity for one or the other, which would it be?

Keep reading...Show less