We don't talk about Bruno... and all of the other crazies in the family.
Maybe that is why that song struck such a chord... we can all relate to family secrets and family crazy.
Even though every generation has gotten a little more open and willing to discuss trauma, we still have a long way to go.
There is something to be said for not airing out all of the dirty laundry.
Everybody doesn't have to know private business.
Redditoristrx13was wondering things families don't talk about...
"What is the 'we don’t talk about that' in your family?"
I'm not getting into my family. You'll have to wait for the play.
"My great aunt was a nurse supervisor at a mental hospital back in the 1930s. She fell in love with a patient who was being evaluated to stand trial for murder. She helped him escape and they went to Florida to hide out. But they were eventually found and the guy was put on trial and got the chair. My aunt got off easy, but she moved far away and rarely came home."
he didn't make it...
"The brother that was born between me and my first sister. It was my mothers second child. Apparently he only lived about 3 days. Neither my mom nor my dad ever wanted to talk about it much. My sisters and I both have seen the birth certificate, which my parents kept."
"We also know there were about 3 years where they waited before my mom became pregnant with my sister afterward. Both of my parents are deceased now and to be frank, I think I only got about a paragraph of conversation about it, ever, from either of my parents. Just a, 'he didn't make it.'"
"It's not creepy or some strange thing, it's just sad. You can tell it affected them both very powerfully, especially to go the rest of their lives and not really share it with current and future children they had. It must have been horrible."
Now that she's dead...
"My mother's cult-induced severe mental illness, which caused her to viciously abuse her two oldest children verbally and physically, and forced my dad to have her committed to a mental hospital several times. Now that she's dead, we still don't talk about her much, lest she "come back from beyond the grave" and continue her lunatic ways..."
"That I have been in contact with my birth family. My older brother and I are both adopted, but he has publicly stated that he has no intention to contact his own birth family, because, he feels that it would be disrespectful to the parents that have raised us, like, why mess with a good thing?"
"So, I’ve never told him that I did it. My husband also didn’t think I should contact them, he was concerned that there would be 'drama.' I keep in touch with some of my birth family mostly online and so far there’s been no drama."
"That my late uncle was a gigolo. Only my father and I know the truth."
KazumaWillKiryurose love GIFGiphy
Now being a gigolo has got to be a great story. Tell us more...
"always is right"
"My 'always right' aunty got proven wrong for once and rather than just accept it, she ghosted the whole family except for her immediate. Sometimes I talk to my cousins and always ask how wrong Wendi is doing?"
-AntiVegan-Iliza Shlesinger Ghost GIF by IlizaGiphy
"How my uncle, whom is a single, 'silver fox' (so my grandma calls him), multimillionaire, executive of one of the big 3 car companies is secretly gay. We ALL know except grandma, that's why we don't talk about it. He also has no idea that the whole family knows."
All the Feels
"Sex, love, anorexia, emotions in general."
"Mate, literally same. My parents are the most emotionally unavailable people I have ever met. It's not really their fault bc my entire family is cooked mental health wise, but damn."
"I'm convinced it was a huge contributing factor to my anorexia diagnosis. Lots of emotional turmoil but I wasn't taught how to talk about emotions, wasn't even really exposed to emotions, and no one to talk with about them anyway. Only way I could signal to the outside world I was not OK was starving myself, I guess. I'm ok now. Hope you are also ok."
"My cousin who is absolutely crazy. Got an abortion because she hated the guy, got married to him a few months later and started a family (they have 3 kids who are demons)… they moved out of state but she started coming back home once every few months to drop off the kids at her parents and then go on a bender and basically live in a motel for a few days."
"Then the divorce came, she married one of the guys she was banging on the side, got divorced again after cheating on him with husband number 1… now she’s dating her drug dealer. Again she still has custody of her 3 kids."
"I was a complete accident. They found out at the wedding and I’m pretty sure my Christian grandparents weren’t happy. They’ve only talked about it a few times."
AHorrorFreakPray I Hope GIFGiphy
Oh my Granny...
"My grandmother had a secret divorce 3 years before my mother was born and a year before she married my grandfather. She never told anyone about it, we are even unsure whether my grandfather knows, but my mother only found out after doing family research and finding her maiden name on a divorce court document. The files are still sealed as well so unless we apply for access we won't know why the divorce occurred. And no, we have never once bought this up to my grandmother."
"My dad's horrible rage. He has huge blow ups, and the next day acts like nothing ever happened, a trait he passed down to two of my sisters. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And I am 32 now. That, and my parent's addiction to gambling that kept us below the poverty line my entire childhood, despite them both making good money."
"I can literally remember days after my mom would get paid, asking if we could get some groceries, and her having no money at all. I always just thought we were super poor when we were younger, but when I was in high school, and started making my own money, I caught onto it."
“Baby I can’t help you.”
"How I was forced to marry my second cousin at 16, and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore when I was 23. I called my Mother begging her please let me come home he is gonna kill me, actively beating me as we are on the phone, all she could say was 'Baby I can’t help you.' Then she hung up on me. Thankfully I made it out alive, nearly a decade later living a completely different life as a new wife and Mother."
"Me and my adoption. I’m not considered a part of the family because I’m adopted. My dad accepts me, But not my extended family and definitely not my siblings."
we don't talk about that...
"My mom consistently refused to come with me to therapy to talk through our past together. Dad died when I was 7, she got too comfy with a bottle and turned abusive and neglectful. She wants a happy family now that she's remarried. I'm left physically disabled, with CPTSD."
"Our constant tension was so distressing that it lead to my health declining to a dangerous point multiple times. I cut off contact 2 years ago. She pretends like i never existed now, same way she did with my dad. So, the 'we don't talk about that' is...me."
"When my grandmother was in her 30s she tried scrubbing off a tattoo of her ex with Drano and iron wool. The only reason she stopped was because my aunt called the cops and she passed out from the pain. If you're wondering, no the tattoo isn't there anymore. She died 6 years ago."
"this night is over"
"My autistic uncle once let loose after a few drinks that he killed someone once with a gun. We all laughed. I saw his father's face go white. Then others did as well. Finally everyone did. He said 'this night is over' and we haven't talked about it since."
"Doing good. Changing your life to not struggle and live in poverty. I made changes to better myself and since been excluded."
bearded_chubbymanbarack obama challenges GIF by ObamaGiphy
"My dad went kinda crazy when I was a teenager. Cheated on my mom, beat the crap out of me, drank constantly. This lasted for about a year. By the time that I was grown and out on my own, it had stopped. He was back to the dad I knew as a little kid. Better even. We don’t talk about it. He passed away in January. Despite all of what he did then, he was the best man I’ve ever known."
Some secrets are meant to stay in the family and meant to go to the grave.
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Going on a first date is nerve-wracking. We've all been there.
"What’s a good first date that doesn’t involve alcohol?"
Being entertained is a great way to experience something together without having to worry about initial small talk.
Catch A Flick
"Movie I think is fine, but if it's around 7 or 8PM and you get out with some time left in the night. I say that because it gives you a shared experience and something to connect and talk about which can be a good icebreaker. Not ideal first date but in a pinch it can work."
Don't Blow Your Cover
"Not a comedy club - if they find out you're on a first date you will get roasted without mercy."
"Source: Been there, done that."
Get Roasted, Not Toasted
"Great first date if your date is already a friend and you know their taste in comedy and tolerance for the obligatory hazing."
Some prefer engaging in an activity, where being anti-social is not an option.
Scaling New Heights
"My SO and I had our first date at a climbing gym."
"My husband took me to a cheese factory on our first date."
T"here were free samples. A tour of the new factory, and a heritage tour of the original wooden building and dairy."
"That was a good first date."
Raising The Bar
"It wasn't our first date, but the first time I brought my girlfriend(now wife) to my hometown I took her on a tour at Saranac in Utica NY. She loved it."
"Downside though, some of the dates after that were kinda boring because that one went so well. It was hard to follow up"
"Mini golf is the best first date ever."
"bowling is really good as long as she's into it. There's a slight friendly competition to see who wins, and you can get food/drinks and talk a ton. great time to not be uptight and just be a lil goofy and friendly."
Excursions are a great option, but it would be wise to consider the following:
"As a woman who loves hiking: absolutely do not go on a hike as a first date, or if you really want to then make it a double date. Unless she already knows you (and even then...) she will be on edge/scared the entire time, more likely than not turn the whole thing down."
Stay In The Public Eye
"Try walking at a beach or some other place where you always be in sight of many other people. I live near a very busy rail trail, but that does NOT meet the standard of ALWAYS visible."
"I live near an upscale strip mall, and my first few dates with my wife we got froyo and walked the mall. Window shopping can help provide interesting items to keep the conversation flowing."
"Something that I've done with first dates off of dating sites/apps is go to a food court in a mall. This accomplishes a few things: 1) You are meeting for the first time in a public place. 2) There's a wide variety of food to choose from, with the added bonus that you can get a clue of where to take her on a second date. 3) After eating you two can walk around the mall, do some window shopping, maybe blow a few bucks at the arcade. etc."
Outdoor Seating Preferred
"Picnic is a great idea. If you go to a crowded park in your area so they’re not on edge that way you can control what you’re eating and drinking."
I went to a Six Flags park as a first date once, and that was a lot of fun.
It's a good mix of gradually getting to know the other person while waiting in line to get on one of the rides and experiencing the thrill of a roller coaster together.
When the adrenaline is pumping and your heart is throbbing, it's a great ice-breaker that could culminate in the greatest thrill of all at the end of the day–That first kiss.
Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.