Not all bosses have your best interest in mind, so it's no wonder that tensions can ocassionally flare, prompting workers and their bosses to exchange a few choice words.
After Redditor TwoMovies asked the online community, "What's the craziest thing you have said to your boss?" people were more than eager to share stories of their clueless bosses and the conflicts that resulted.
"She looked at me..."
Dumbest supervisor I had thought the full time employees were the supervisors of part time employees. She comes to me one afternoon and asked: "Why is 'James' never here on time? Don't you guys talk to him about that?"
Me: "We're not his supervisors, it's not our place."
Her: "Then who is his supervisor?"
Me: "You are!"
She looked at me as though I'd just told her the moon was indeed made of green cheese.
"I then calmly went out..."
This is how I quit my teaching job at a college.
I was sitting in the bosses office after being summoned. He was giving me rules specific for me that no other instructor was being given. I was sitting and listening. Clarifying that he was singling me out.
I then looked at his assistant (a very good friend of mine), started laughing and said, "Eff it, I don't need this job." I got up and started walking to his door when he stood up and yelled something to the effect of Sit the f*** down!
I then turned and told him something like I am a goddamn adult and if he doesn't talk to me like one he'll be calling the Sheriff to pull me of of him.
I then calmly went out collected my things walked around to inform the other staff and my students that I no longer worked there and left.
"She laughed it off..."
On a Wednesday, "I need to take Friday off. I'm going to be very sick."
She laughed it off and said, denied, you're coming in.
Thing is, I can almost always tell when I'm going to be sick in the next few days. Like I'll feel fine one day, iffy the next, and full blown sick the day after.
That Friday, I had already been puking since 3am. I tried to call out but they reminded me of the silliness of Wednesday and told me to come in. I still went to work at 7. Multiple times, I'd tried to go home, after puking outside around 5-6 times. They said "you're not sick, you're staying!"
At 10am, I was feeling mostly okay. Went up to the podium where the sups were to let them know I was going on break. Made casual conversation. They asked me something. And in response, I projectile vomited all over the podium, narrowly missing them.
They finally said I could go home.
"I was planning on quitting..."
I was planning on quitting as I had already lined up a better job, so thought I might as well say or do something outrageous, something that the office will keep talking about long after I'm gone. So I told the boss one day that she has "a nice bounce to her chest" (meaning I complemented her on her large tits.)
This actually turned out differently than I expected. She thanked me for the compliment and later invited me for drinks after work. I met up with her and she told me she wants someone for a non-serious relationship. She is divorced and doesn't want drama, just someone to sleep with. I then basically became her boy toy and I slept with her for about a year after I eventually quit that job for something else.
"Joe asked me nicely..."
We got a new manager (let's call him Joe) hired at one place I worked while our actual manager went to a different location in a different town to take over there until they can find and train someone to be the new manager (or something like that). This is how a conversation (or it went along these lines) went one day after one of my night shifts.
Joe: It's like I am always repeating myself with you, OP, you know? I keep saying "OP, do better, do better, do better."
Me (having finally snapped from being criticized so much because they gave me too much work and not enough time but expected everything of me): Yeah, well you seem to be doing that a lot lately.
Me: stands up to walk away before I do something I will regret, gets to the door
Joe asked me nicely and softly to come back and asked what was wrong and we had a calmer conversation. I still didn't like him though, he just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason, but it calmed me enough to stop the tears lightly flowing from my eyes.
"This was a regular behavior..."
Upon smoking a joint together during work hours, I admitted I was tripping too hard and that the micro dose of LSD I took this morning was actually accidentally much more than a micro dose, so I need to go home. The trip was getting too spiritual to continue my day shift in a budget retail store. It was a comic moment and I was permitted to leave early, after the joint was finished of course.
This was a regular behavior back then, only once have I lost my cool like that whilst tripping at work.
"Got called to the back..."
I was in the middle of helping a customer and she stepped right in the middle of me and the customer and told me to go up front and get on a register. I snapped and told her that it was rude to do what she just did. She wouldn't let me speak at first until I told her "I am trying to speak, shut up for a second."
Got called to the back and then I told them the way she handled it was out of line and we lost a sale because of it.
"Asked for a livable wage..."
Giphy
Asked for a livable wage when my boss insisted market value was whatever he paid freelancers in third world countries.
"I'd had the same chair..."
"If you'd like to try to foist off the chair I've been farting into for 7 years, be my guest."
Last day at a job, I'd had the same chair the whole time and wanted to take it with me. He grinned and told the office manager that they would need to acquire a new chair for my replacement.
"I had had some back problems..."
"I'm too high to continue this shift."
I had had some back problems and before an afternoon shift in my then retail job I went to see the company's doctor because of cramping muscles. I wasn't given any sick leave, but some muscle relaxing medicine that I was supposed to take and get to work an hour later. Well, that's exactly what I did, but I didn't react too well to the medicine, and ended up getting really drowsy. I told my supervisor the story mid shift as I had to leave.
"I worked at a real shady charter school..."
I worked at a real shady charter school in the middle of the hood. The principal was the laziest woman in the world and put everyone in danger during several situations, one of which was when a student had a handgun in school and she was refusing to call the police.
Anyways, she called me in one day into her office with the VP and wrote me up for going across the street and getting a coffee during my prep period. This wasn't so much a big problem but on top of everything else she had done (faked records, kept us in school til 6PM, etc) I just lost it and went off on her.
I told her how fat and lazy and incompetent she was. That she was the most miserable person I had ever met and I could not stand watching her ruin kids' lives. I handed in my resignation for the last day of school which was a few days shy of the 60-day mark for the end of the year notices.
The board let me stay till the end of the year and on the last day I handed her my keys and told her she was the biggest piece of s*** I had ever met and put my keys on her desk as she signed my end of the year checklist.
That school is shutting down at the end of the year and she has since been fired for forging signatures. I was 25 at the time but it felt good to just lose it.
"It was surreal."
ME: "Our techs had to leave the aircraft for safety. Electrical work was in progress nearby, and there was an accident. Several electricians were zapped, two are on fire. Sparks are raining down and live wires are arcing on the ground were too close to our guys. Local Fire Dept are en route and we are making a role call to ensure all of our people are ok."
Boss: "If our people are safe make sure they GTFO until the fire dept says its safe. How much of a delay are we looking at?"
Me: "Current guess is 45 min delay at a minimum."
This was all discussed in the same tone of voice that would be used to mention a photocopier malfunction. It was surreal.
"She and her husband..."
My boss is a married Indian woman. She and her husband own the business, but she runs it. They were going shopping hours away at an Indian grocery store and asked if I I wanted them to bring me back anything. I said, "a beautiful, Indian woman." When they returned, I said, "Aw, you remembered." My bosses really love me.
"I replied that I appreciated..."
Recently my team lead informed the team that he would be MIA on X days for X number of hours due to managment assigning him some training.
I replied that I appreciated management for, after the months that he had been team lead, finally recognizing that he needed training.
"When I was asked for a two week notice..."
When I was asked for a two week notice I told him to look around the shop for the next two weeks. You'll notice I'm not here.
"He then told me..."
As my manager left the room I looked over to a coworker and said "what a buttplug!"
He had not left the room. He then told me that took "managerial courage" and went about his business. Couldn't believe that's all that happened as he's usually a hardass.
"I had had some back problems..."
"I'm too high to continue this shift."
I had had some back problems and before an afternoon shift in my then retail job I went to see the company's doctor because of cramping muscles. I wasn't given any sick leave, but some muscle relaxing medicine that I was supposed to take and get to work an hour later. Well, that's exactly what I did, but I didn't react too well to the medicine, and ended up getting really drowsy. I told my supervisor the story mid shift as I had to leave.
"Got called to the back..."
I was in the middle of helping a customer and she stepped right in the middle of me and the customer and told me to go up front and get on a register. I snapped and told her that it was rude to do what she just did. She wouldn't let me speak at first until I told her "I am trying to speak, shut up for a second".
Got called to the back and then I told them the way she handled it was out of line and we lost a sale because of it.
"Last day at a job..."
"If you'd like to try to foist off the chair I've been farting into for seven years, be my guest."
Last day at a job, I'd had the same chair the whole time and wanted to take it with me. He grinned and told the office manager that they would need to acquire a new chair for my replacement.
"Didn't say anything out loud..."
Didn't say anything out loud, but I had a boss that would send the worst emails and texts so I started to proofread them and send them back with spelling and grammar corrections.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.