Not all bosses have your best interest in mind, so it's no wonder that tensions can ocassionally flare, prompting workers and their bosses to exchange a few choice words.
After Redditor TwoMovies asked the online community, "What's the craziest thing you have said to your boss?" people were more than eager to share stories of their clueless bosses and the conflicts that resulted.
"She looked at me..."
Dumbest supervisor I had thought the full time employees were the supervisors of part time employees. She comes to me one afternoon and asked: "Why is 'James' never here on time? Don't you guys talk to him about that?"
Me: "We're not his supervisors, it's not our place."
Her: "Then who is his supervisor?"
Me: "You are!"
She looked at me as though I'd just told her the moon was indeed made of green cheese.
"I then calmly went out..."
This is how I quit my teaching job at a college.
I was sitting in the bosses office after being summoned. He was giving me rules specific for me that no other instructor was being given. I was sitting and listening. Clarifying that he was singling me out.
I then looked at his assistant (a very good friend of mine), started laughing and said, "Eff it, I don't need this job." I got up and started walking to his door when he stood up and yelled something to the effect of Sit the f*** down!
I then turned and told him something like I am a goddamn adult and if he doesn't talk to me like one he'll be calling the Sheriff to pull me of of him.
I then calmly went out collected my things walked around to inform the other staff and my students that I no longer worked there and left.
"She laughed it off..."
On a Wednesday, "I need to take Friday off. I'm going to be very sick."
She laughed it off and said, denied, you're coming in.
Thing is, I can almost always tell when I'm going to be sick in the next few days. Like I'll feel fine one day, iffy the next, and full blown sick the day after.
That Friday, I had already been puking since 3am. I tried to call out but they reminded me of the silliness of Wednesday and told me to come in. I still went to work at 7. Multiple times, I'd tried to go home, after puking outside around 5-6 times. They said "you're not sick, you're staying!"
At 10am, I was feeling mostly okay. Went up to the podium where the sups were to let them know I was going on break. Made casual conversation. They asked me something. And in response, I projectile vomited all over the podium, narrowly missing them.
They finally said I could go home.
"I was planning on quitting..."
I was planning on quitting as I had already lined up a better job, so thought I might as well say or do something outrageous, something that the office will keep talking about long after I'm gone. So I told the boss one day that she has "a nice bounce to her chest" (meaning I complemented her on her large tits.)
This actually turned out differently than I expected. She thanked me for the compliment and later invited me for drinks after work. I met up with her and she told me she wants someone for a non-serious relationship. She is divorced and doesn't want drama, just someone to sleep with. I then basically became her boy toy and I slept with her for about a year after I eventually quit that job for something else.
"Joe asked me nicely..."
We got a new manager (let's call him Joe) hired at one place I worked while our actual manager went to a different location in a different town to take over there until they can find and train someone to be the new manager (or something like that). This is how a conversation (or it went along these lines) went one day after one of my night shifts.
Joe: It's like I am always repeating myself with you, OP, you know? I keep saying "OP, do better, do better, do better."
Me (having finally snapped from being criticized so much because they gave me too much work and not enough time but expected everything of me): Yeah, well you seem to be doing that a lot lately.
Me: stands up to walk away before I do something I will regret, gets to the door
Joe asked me nicely and softly to come back and asked what was wrong and we had a calmer conversation. I still didn't like him though, he just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason, but it calmed me enough to stop the tears lightly flowing from my eyes.
"This was a regular behavior..."
Upon smoking a joint together during work hours, I admitted I was tripping too hard and that the micro dose of LSD I took this morning was actually accidentally much more than a micro dose, so I need to go home. The trip was getting too spiritual to continue my day shift in a budget retail store. It was a comic moment and I was permitted to leave early, after the joint was finished of course.
This was a regular behavior back then, only once have I lost my cool like that whilst tripping at work.
"Got called to the back..."
I was in the middle of helping a customer and she stepped right in the middle of me and the customer and told me to go up front and get on a register. I snapped and told her that it was rude to do what she just did. She wouldn't let me speak at first until I told her "I am trying to speak, shut up for a second."
Got called to the back and then I told them the way she handled it was out of line and we lost a sale because of it.
"Asked for a livable wage..."
Giphy
Asked for a livable wage when my boss insisted market value was whatever he paid freelancers in third world countries.
"I'd had the same chair..."
"If you'd like to try to foist off the chair I've been farting into for 7 years, be my guest."
Last day at a job, I'd had the same chair the whole time and wanted to take it with me. He grinned and told the office manager that they would need to acquire a new chair for my replacement.
Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"I had had some back problems..."
"I'm too high to continue this shift."
I had had some back problems and before an afternoon shift in my then retail job I went to see the company's doctor because of cramping muscles. I wasn't given any sick leave, but some muscle relaxing medicine that I was supposed to take and get to work an hour later. Well, that's exactly what I did, but I didn't react too well to the medicine, and ended up getting really drowsy. I told my supervisor the story mid shift as I had to leave.
"I worked at a real shady charter school..."
I worked at a real shady charter school in the middle of the hood. The principal was the laziest woman in the world and put everyone in danger during several situations, one of which was when a student had a handgun in school and she was refusing to call the police.
Anyways, she called me in one day into her office with the VP and wrote me up for going across the street and getting a coffee during my prep period. This wasn't so much a big problem but on top of everything else she had done (faked records, kept us in school til 6PM, etc) I just lost it and went off on her.
I told her how fat and lazy and incompetent she was. That she was the most miserable person I had ever met and I could not stand watching her ruin kids' lives. I handed in my resignation for the last day of school which was a few days shy of the 60-day mark for the end of the year notices.
The board let me stay till the end of the year and on the last day I handed her my keys and told her she was the biggest piece of s*** I had ever met and put my keys on her desk as she signed my end of the year checklist.
That school is shutting down at the end of the year and she has since been fired for forging signatures. I was 25 at the time but it felt good to just lose it.
"It was surreal."
ME: "Our techs had to leave the aircraft for safety. Electrical work was in progress nearby, and there was an accident. Several electricians were zapped, two are on fire. Sparks are raining down and live wires are arcing on the ground were too close to our guys. Local Fire Dept are en route and we are making a role call to ensure all of our people are ok."
Boss: "If our people are safe make sure they GTFO until the fire dept says its safe. How much of a delay are we looking at?"
Me: "Current guess is 45 min delay at a minimum."
This was all discussed in the same tone of voice that would be used to mention a photocopier malfunction. It was surreal.
"She and her husband..."
My boss is a married Indian woman. She and her husband own the business, but she runs it. They were going shopping hours away at an Indian grocery store and asked if I I wanted them to bring me back anything. I said, "a beautiful, Indian woman." When they returned, I said, "Aw, you remembered." My bosses really love me.
"I replied that I appreciated..."
Recently my team lead informed the team that he would be MIA on X days for X number of hours due to managment assigning him some training.
I replied that I appreciated management for, after the months that he had been team lead, finally recognizing that he needed training.
"When I was asked for a two week notice..."
When I was asked for a two week notice I told him to look around the shop for the next two weeks. You'll notice I'm not here.
"He then told me..."
As my manager left the room I looked over to a coworker and said "what a buttplug!"
He had not left the room. He then told me that took "managerial courage" and went about his business. Couldn't believe that's all that happened as he's usually a hardass.
"I had had some back problems..."
"I'm too high to continue this shift."
I had had some back problems and before an afternoon shift in my then retail job I went to see the company's doctor because of cramping muscles. I wasn't given any sick leave, but some muscle relaxing medicine that I was supposed to take and get to work an hour later. Well, that's exactly what I did, but I didn't react too well to the medicine, and ended up getting really drowsy. I told my supervisor the story mid shift as I had to leave.
"Got called to the back..."
I was in the middle of helping a customer and she stepped right in the middle of me and the customer and told me to go up front and get on a register. I snapped and told her that it was rude to do what she just did. She wouldn't let me speak at first until I told her "I am trying to speak, shut up for a second".
Got called to the back and then I told them the way she handled it was out of line and we lost a sale because of it.
"Last day at a job..."
"If you'd like to try to foist off the chair I've been farting into for seven years, be my guest."
Last day at a job, I'd had the same chair the whole time and wanted to take it with me. He grinned and told the office manager that they would need to acquire a new chair for my replacement.
"Didn't say anything out loud..."
Didn't say anything out loud, but I had a boss that would send the worst emails and texts so I started to proofread them and send them back with spelling and grammar corrections.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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