Kids are wild.
If you don't think kids are wild, it's because you clearly haven't spent any real time around them or they're not comfortable enough to be themselves around you, yet. They're still putting up a front.
Catch them when they're relaxed and in their natural state - then they start talking and almost without fail, tiny humans are absolutely bananas. It might just be the best thing about them.
Reddit user Deepanjon asked:
"What's the craziest thing a child has ever asked you?"
Don't take my word for it, lets gather evidence from these fine folks.
When You Were YoungGetting Old 30 Rock GIFGiphy
" 'When you were a kid, did they even have electricity? Or is that new to you?' ”
"My granddaughter asked me 'Was there color when you were younger?' ”
" 'Ummmm yes there has always been color.' "
"I died. It was so innocent. I love that kid."
"My 5 year old asked me if we had rocks when I was a kid."
"Dumb, but truly adorable."
"I got a new kitten and was taking him to the vet. He was sitting in the loaf cat position with his feet tucked all up under him in his cat carrier."
"Little girl comes up to me with a look of genuine concern."
“ 'Hello, excuse me, I’ve never had a cat, I just have a dog (points over at her dog at the vet) and I just wanted to know if you brought the cat to the vet because he doesn’t have any feet?' ”
"I picked him up and she saw his feet and was SO RELIEVED."
"I was verbally decimated by a 9 year old. ZERO comeback."
"I was hanging out in my friends garage and his daughter came out from the house, and told me that I looked just like her teacher."
"I responded, 'Man, Your teacher must be a very handsome guy!' "
"She responded "Well no, she's pregnant. Are you pregnant too?' "
"WTF! That was a perfect burn. ZERO comebacks."
"My friend was laughing his @ss off."
Why Grandma's Not Dead
"My three year old nephew asked me how old his great grandmother is. I told him she’s 94."
"He asked why she hasn’t died yet!"
"Thankfully she, like a lot of old people, has a sense of humour about her mortality. When we moved this grandma out of her house, I was carrying a box down the driveway and she walked next to me saying:"
" 'Thank you dear. This is my last move. Next time I'll be in the box.' "
"She was also friends with the retired head of the classics department at the local university, and I was a classics major so I liked visiting him from time to time. In the last year of his life he lived in a care facility."
"Whenever I was leaving he'd say 'It's always nice of you to come visit us folks here in the departures lounge.' "
Jesus The Homiefamily guy jesus GIFGiphy
"It wasn’t me, but my daughter."
"She was 4 when she met my grandmother, who was 68 at the time. By far the oldest person my daughter had ever met."
"Without missing a beat she turns to my grandmother and says.. 'Was Jesus friendly in person?' Lol."
#28 Doesn't Always Work
"Not me, but my wife, who is Black."
"Kid: 'Your skin is so dark. Does it wash off?' "
"Wife: 'No baby, this is tanning shade #28. You've only got shade #3.' "
'Kid ran too his mom and said he wanted to go outside and get a #28."
"My toddler asked me why I was part black. (We are both very white.)"
"I asked her to clarify and she pointed to a mole on my arm and said:"
" 'Your skin tried to be black right there but it didn't work for your whole body.' "
"Because I'm a 27-year-old man who is 4 feet tall and has disproportionate dwarfism, I get a lot of funny/weird child encounters as they try to figure out who I am."
"One of my favourite interactions occurred when I was waiting for a friend who had gone to the restroom in a shopping centre."
"I was going about my business when I spotted a young girl, perhaps about eight years old and already taller than me, peering at me from a few yards away. I didn't think much of it (things like this happen all the time), so I just smiled to myself and kept her in my peripheral view."
"I was caught aback as she stormed directly towards me, an irritated expression on her face:"
" 'I know you're not an adult,' she stated when she got to me. 'Stop playing games!' Just as her embarrassed father raced up behind her and yanked her away; extensively apologizing to me."
"I was taken aback, and then I burst out laughing. I'm going to have to work on my disguise..."
The Old People ConundrumMichael Cohen Yes GIFGiphy
"When I was little I remember asking my grandma:"
" 'Are old people smart because they're so old they've had time to learn everything, or are they stupid because they've had a lot of time to forget everything?' "
"She laughed in my face. I thought it was a legitimate question."
"The answer is 'yes.' "
During The Diaper Changes
"I work in childcare, mostly with very young children."
"While a coworker was changing a 2-almost-3s poopy diaper (there’s always another certified adult within seeing/hearing range while doing diaper changes or any other more delicate things; child abuse prevention measures!) I hear him say 'ow!' ”
"Coworker says 'I’m so sorry, I have to get the poopy off your little penis so it doesn’t get a rash! Would you like to take a wipe and help?' ”
"And the child responds 'No Ms, not little penis, BIG penis!' ”
"He asked me after he came out from the bathroom: 'I have a big penis right? Right?' ”
"100% told mom about it and she was howling with laughter. Sounds like he’s been hanging out with his older brothers or something!"
"Also my response to him was: 'oh, I’m taller than you, so you are just small to me! Like your hands are smaller than mine!' "
"My 3 year old boy, completely out of the blue while changing his diaper: 'I have BIG peepee!' Heavy emphasis on BIG."
" 'Are you real?' ”
"I was working at a movie theatre, and at the time had pink and blue hair. Also I am just over 5’ and have been told I look like a cartoon character."
"I think the kid had just fallen asleep during a movie and was kinda groggy, then this little candy-colored gnome with a broom walks by and she just needed to check."
Point proven, but we're not done yet.
Lets turn it over to the comments, shall we? Tell us the kid-est thing a kid has ever said to you, let's expose them for magnificently hilarious little beasts they are.
Kids are amazing.
Birds and the bees, attack
"We’ve talked about sex with my 11 & 12yo kids relatively openly over the past few years. Told them to ask me anything, anytime, and I’ll give them a straight answer. And then one day over dinner, 'When was the last time you and dad had sex?' For the sake of the children’s future imaginings, 'That’s something I can’t answer'."
" I think they thought I just couldn’t remember, so my then 9yo said to the one who asked, 'Duh! 9 years ago, and then I was born.' Yep, uh-huh, that’s right, kiddo'."
"My sister's 9yo got the talk and said, 'Do you and Daddy have sex?' 'Yes.' 'Oh. ... Where?' She didn't know how to answer that one lol"
Add it to the will
" 'Can I have your tv when you die'."I had just bought a big new tv and my cousin was over. I has 23 at the time, but kids being kids, see anything over 20 as ancient lol"
"My 6 year old asked me the other day if we could have my parents' house when they die. Except instead of just saying 'die', he said 'When they, you know, slides finger across his throat DIE'."
I was like dude, that's hella morbid. Freakin kid says 'What?? We've all gotta go some day!'."
"Remember it and include it in your will someday."
Telepathicallyweb series comedy GIFGiphy
"6-year-old kid: 'Hey, watch this!' "
"blank stare for something like 10 seconds"
"Kid: 'Guess what?' "
"Me, bewildered: 'What?' "
"Kid: 'I was talking to you inside my head!' "
"I did this to people when I was a kid lmao"
"I remember when I discovered what thinking was"
You will help me!
"To wipe their butt while already bending over holding their butt cheeks open. Incredibly uncomfortable at a childrens birthday party especially since I was newly dating the person who brought me to it and this child’s parents were nowhere to be seen"
"Omg. Children have no shame! Do they need help with something? Are you an adult nearby? Then I'm asking you!"
"I volunteered at my daughter's class back when she was in kindergarten. Despite the room always having 2-3 staff member adults, the number of kids who came up and asked me to do things for them was astounding. Most of them had no idea who I even was."
" 'Can you tie my shoes?' 'Can you put my hair in a ponytail?' 'Will you clean up my mess for me?' 'Will you help me dig this hole?' 'Will you help me go the the bathroom?' Said no to that one."
"On the bright side, every one of them was polite, even the more rambunctious ones."
Mmm eyeballs.season 8 episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"Asscrack of dawn, startled awake by a toddler hovering an inch over my face. Oh, is she going for a kiss? Nope. 'Mama, I want to eat your eyes?'."
"When I declined, she elaborated reasons including: they're beautiful, I think they'd be goopy, and I bet they taste salty. Was then quite upset that I would not let her 'even have just a taste'."
"Maybe you're well past this stage now, but I really feel like this should be leveraged any time she doesn't want to try a food for the first time"
"Something like 'you know, it's probably yummier than my eyes'."
How does THAT work?
"I'm pregnant and my 9 year old daughter asked how the baby got there. I tell her the mechanics of it. She asks a few questions and then says 'wait, does that mean S/O did that to you?!' I said yeah. 'Wow, that's weird mom'."
"Also pregnant, and my 4 yr old is very interested in how the baby gets out."
"'I'll go to the hospital and the doctor will help the baby out' worked for a little bit, but now he wants specifics."
Dad jokes.Cute Dog Wearing Doctor Costume GIF by ViralHogGiphy
"A little girl (possibly between the ages of 5 and 8) When I informed her my service dog was working (I'm horrible at ages), she asked me what I meant. I told her that he informs me when I'm sick.
" 'Oh, so he's your dog-tor!' says the narrator.
"To be honest, it's also a pretty telling sentence for that girl's future."
"She’s gonna be a dad!"
if the aim is good...
"When I had my middle child, I called the eldest at his grandparents to tell them that the baby was born. He asked to tell him the story. I gave him an age appropriate version that mom's water had broken, we we went to the hospital and with the doctors help she came out. He went silent for a minute then asked 'Why didn't you let me use my slingshot to break your water balloon?'"
"It's a good question. Why didn't you?"
Mammals Ice cream.Thinking Reaction GIFGiphy
"Actual conversation: 'Cows are mammals and they make milk, right?' "
"Kid: Ice cream is made from milk, right?”
"Kid: If walruses are mammals, too, how come we don’t have walrus ice cream?”
"I mean, my city has an ice cream place called Walrus Ice Cream, so technically we do..."
"Lol loosely related but I worked at an elementary school for awhile. One of my students had a book of drawings. She proudly showed me them."
"They were all caricatures of people as walruses. Ironman walrus. Jack sparrow walrus. Elsa walrus. It made my day, one of the funniest and most creative things I had seen."
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Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.