Kids are wild.
If you don't think kids are wild, it's because you clearly haven't spent any real time around them or they're not comfortable enough to be themselves around you, yet. They're still putting up a front.
Catch them when they're relaxed and in their natural state - then they start talking and almost without fail, tiny humans are absolutely bananas. It might just be the best thing about them.
Reddit user Deepanjon asked:
"What's the craziest thing a child has ever asked you?"
Don't take my word for it, lets gather evidence from these fine folks.
When You Were Young
Getting Old 30 Rock GIFGiphy" 'When you were a kid, did they even have electricity? Or is that new to you?' ”
"I’m 22???????"
- injury_minded
"My granddaughter asked me 'Was there color when you were younger?' ”
" 'Ummmm yes there has always been color.' "
"I died. It was so innocent. I love that kid."
- FlaOwlLover88
"My 5 year old asked me if we had rocks when I was a kid."
- vonMishka
Catloaf
"Dumb, but truly adorable."
"I got a new kitten and was taking him to the vet. He was sitting in the loaf cat position with his feet tucked all up under him in his cat carrier."
"Little girl comes up to me with a look of genuine concern."
“ 'Hello, excuse me, I’ve never had a cat, I just have a dog (points over at her dog at the vet) and I just wanted to know if you brought the cat to the vet because he doesn’t have any feet?' ”
"I picked him up and she saw his feet and was SO RELIEVED."
- sensualsqueaky
Verbal Decimation
"I was verbally decimated by a 9 year old. ZERO comeback."
"I was hanging out in my friends garage and his daughter came out from the house, and told me that I looked just like her teacher."
"I responded, 'Man, Your teacher must be a very handsome guy!' "
"She responded "Well no, she's pregnant. Are you pregnant too?' "
"WTF! That was a perfect burn. ZERO comebacks."
"My friend was laughing his @ss off."
- CodeBluePools
Why Grandma's Not Dead
"My three year old nephew asked me how old his great grandmother is. I told him she’s 94."
"He asked why she hasn’t died yet!"
"Thankfully she, like a lot of old people, has a sense of humour about her mortality. When we moved this grandma out of her house, I was carrying a box down the driveway and she walked next to me saying:"
" 'Thank you dear. This is my last move. Next time I'll be in the box.' "
"She was also friends with the retired head of the classics department at the local university, and I was a classics major so I liked visiting him from time to time. In the last year of his life he lived in a care facility."
"Whenever I was leaving he'd say 'It's always nice of you to come visit us folks here in the departures lounge.' "
- asoiahats
Jesus The Homie
family guy jesus GIFGiphy"It wasn’t me, but my daughter."
"She was 4 when she met my grandmother, who was 68 at the time. By far the oldest person my daughter had ever met."
"Without missing a beat she turns to my grandmother and says.. 'Was Jesus friendly in person?' Lol."
- bellabbr
#28 Doesn't Always Work
"Not me, but my wife, who is Black."
"Kid: 'Your skin is so dark. Does it wash off?' "
"Wife: 'No baby, this is tanning shade #28. You've only got shade #3.' "
'Kid ran too his mom and said he wanted to go outside and get a #28."
- BigdoggyTN
"My toddler asked me why I was part black. (We are both very white.)"
"I asked her to clarify and she pointed to a mole on my arm and said:"
" 'Your skin tried to be black right there but it didn't work for your whole body.' "
- NeedsMoreTuba
Playing Games
"Because I'm a 27-year-old man who is 4 feet tall and has disproportionate dwarfism, I get a lot of funny/weird child encounters as they try to figure out who I am."
"One of my favourite interactions occurred when I was waiting for a friend who had gone to the restroom in a shopping centre."
"I was going about my business when I spotted a young girl, perhaps about eight years old and already taller than me, peering at me from a few yards away. I didn't think much of it (things like this happen all the time), so I just smiled to myself and kept her in my peripheral view."
"I was caught aback as she stormed directly towards me, an irritated expression on her face:"
" 'I know you're not an adult,' she stated when she got to me. 'Stop playing games!' Just as her embarrassed father raced up behind her and yanked her away; extensively apologizing to me."
"I was taken aback, and then I burst out laughing. I'm going to have to work on my disguise..."
- bonniejfox
The Old People Conundrum
Michael Cohen Yes GIFGiphy"When I was little I remember asking my grandma:"
" 'Are old people smart because they're so old they've had time to learn everything, or are they stupid because they've had a lot of time to forget everything?' "
"She laughed in my face. I thought it was a legitimate question."
- Adelmas
"The answer is 'yes.' "
- scalablecory
During The Diaper Changes
"I work in childcare, mostly with very young children."
"While a coworker was changing a 2-almost-3s poopy diaper (there’s always another certified adult within seeing/hearing range while doing diaper changes or any other more delicate things; child abuse prevention measures!) I hear him say 'ow!' ”
"Coworker says 'I’m so sorry, I have to get the poopy off your little penis so it doesn’t get a rash! Would you like to take a wipe and help?' ”
"And the child responds 'No Ms, not little penis, BIG penis!' ”
"He asked me after he came out from the bathroom: 'I have a big penis right? Right?' ”
"100% told mom about it and she was howling with laughter. Sounds like he’s been hanging out with his older brothers or something!"
"Also my response to him was: 'oh, I’m taller than you, so you are just small to me! Like your hands are smaller than mine!' "
- immabadit
"My 3 year old boy, completely out of the blue while changing his diaper: 'I have BIG peepee!' Heavy emphasis on BIG."
- VisionsOfTheMind
Candy-Colored Gnome
" 'Are you real?' ”
"I was working at a movie theatre, and at the time had pink and blue hair. Also I am just over 5’ and have been told I look like a cartoon character."
"I think the kid had just fallen asleep during a movie and was kinda groggy, then this little candy-colored gnome with a broom walks by and she just needed to check."
- DelsMagicFishies
Point proven, but we're not done yet.
Lets turn it over to the comments, shall we? Tell us the kid-est thing a kid has ever said to you, let's expose them for magnificently hilarious little beasts they are.
Kids are amazing.
Birds and the bees, attack
"We’ve talked about sex with my 11 & 12yo kids relatively openly over the past few years. Told them to ask me anything, anytime, and I’ll give them a straight answer. And then one day over dinner, 'When was the last time you and dad had sex?' For the sake of the children’s future imaginings, 'That’s something I can’t answer'."
" I think they thought I just couldn’t remember, so my then 9yo said to the one who asked, 'Duh! 9 years ago, and then I was born.' Yep, uh-huh, that’s right, kiddo'."
-Gantzish
"My sister's 9yo got the talk and said, 'Do you and Daddy have sex?' 'Yes.' 'Oh. ... Where?' She didn't know how to answer that one lol"
-floorwantshugs
Add it to the will
" 'Can I have your tv when you die'."I had just bought a big new tv and my cousin was over. I has 23 at the time, but kids being kids, see anything over 20 as ancient lol"
-Papa_Smurf87
"My 6 year old asked me the other day if we could have my parents' house when they die. Except instead of just saying 'die', he said 'When they, you know, slides finger across his throat DIE'."
I was like dude, that's hella morbid. Freakin kid says 'What?? We've all gotta go some day!'."
-Platypus211
"Remember it and include it in your will someday."
-Pokabrows
Telepathically
web series comedy GIFGiphy"6-year-old kid: 'Hey, watch this!' "
"blank stare for something like 10 seconds"
"Kid: 'Guess what?' "
"Me, bewildered: 'What?' "
"Kid: 'I was talking to you inside my head!' "
-maleorderbride
"I did this to people when I was a kid lmao"
-Cambuhbam
"I remember when I discovered what thinking was"
-genZhippie
You will help me!
"To wipe their butt while already bending over holding their butt cheeks open. Incredibly uncomfortable at a childrens birthday party especially since I was newly dating the person who brought me to it and this child’s parents were nowhere to be seen"
-BellJar_Blues
"Omg. Children have no shame! Do they need help with something? Are you an adult nearby? Then I'm asking you!"
"I volunteered at my daughter's class back when she was in kindergarten. Despite the room always having 2-3 staff member adults, the number of kids who came up and asked me to do things for them was astounding. Most of them had no idea who I even was."
" 'Can you tie my shoes?' 'Can you put my hair in a ponytail?' 'Will you clean up my mess for me?' 'Will you help me dig this hole?' 'Will you help me go the the bathroom?' Said no to that one."
"On the bright side, every one of them was polite, even the more rambunctious ones."
-Wonderful-Custard-47
Mmm eyeballs.
season 8 episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Asscrack of dawn, startled awake by a toddler hovering an inch over my face. Oh, is she going for a kiss? Nope. 'Mama, I want to eat your eyes?'."
"When I declined, she elaborated reasons including: they're beautiful, I think they'd be goopy, and I bet they taste salty. Was then quite upset that I would not let her 'even have just a taste'."
-InannasPocket
"Maybe you're well past this stage now, but I really feel like this should be leveraged any time she doesn't want to try a food for the first time"
"Something like 'you know, it's probably yummier than my eyes'."
-schmiggen
How does THAT work?
"I'm pregnant and my 9 year old daughter asked how the baby got there. I tell her the mechanics of it. She asks a few questions and then says 'wait, does that mean S/O did that to you?!' I said yeah. 'Wow, that's weird mom'."
-brunette_mermaid93
"Also pregnant, and my 4 yr old is very interested in how the baby gets out."
"'I'll go to the hospital and the doctor will help the baby out' worked for a little bit, but now he wants specifics."
-toocoolforgruel
Dad jokes.
Cute Dog Wearing Doctor Costume GIF by ViralHogGiphy"A little girl (possibly between the ages of 5 and 8) When I informed her my service dog was working (I'm horrible at ages), she asked me what I meant. I told her that he informs me when I'm sick.
" 'Oh, so he's your dog-tor!' says the narrator.
"To be honest, it's also a pretty telling sentence for that girl's future."
-maryjgilbert
"She’s gonna be a dad!"
-saviorofworms
if the aim is good...
"When I had my middle child, I called the eldest at his grandparents to tell them that the baby was born. He asked to tell him the story. I gave him an age appropriate version that mom's water had broken, we we went to the hospital and with the doctors help she came out. He went silent for a minute then asked 'Why didn't you let me use my slingshot to break your water balloon?'"
-imnotaloneyouare
"It's a good question. Why didn't you?"
-RolyPoly1320
Mammals Ice cream.
Thinking Reaction GIFGiphy"Actual conversation: 'Cows are mammals and they make milk, right?' "
"Me: Yes"
"Kid: Ice cream is made from milk, right?”
"Me: Yup”
"Kid: If walruses are mammals, too, how come we don’t have walrus ice cream?”
"Me: …………….”
-_Thosearentpillows
"I mean, my city has an ice cream place called Walrus Ice Cream, so technically we do..."
-only-if-there-is-pie
"Lol loosely related but I worked at an elementary school for awhile. One of my students had a book of drawings. She proudly showed me them."
"They were all caricatures of people as walruses. Ironman walrus. Jack sparrow walrus. Elsa walrus. It made my day, one of the funniest and most creative things I had seen."
-TurbulentLily
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.