People Share The Absolute Craziest Rules In Their Homeowner's Association Agreement
For those looking to live within a Homeowner's Association's jurisdiction – whether it's a house in a community, or a unit in a condominium – specific rules imposed by the HOA can be downright ridiculous.
Potential buyers who become aware of demanding HOA rules like maintaining manicured lawns "twice a week" can easily elicit a hard "no" response.
Basically, if the neighborhood you're considering to live in looks like Wisteria Lane from Desperate Housewives, do a 180. Otherwise, you'll have your work cut out for you.
Curious to hear from homeowners on the internet, Redditor imback91 asked:
"People in HOAs: what's the dumbest rule in your Home Owners Association agreement?"
Petty Things
These Redditors complained of strict rules that may have been temporary inconveniences.
But perhaps the biggest grievance applied towards an unsympathetic HOA president.
The "Eyesore"
"House in the neighborhood caught fire. Luckily everyone was okay (they had small children), but the fire burnt a hole in the side of the house."
"While waiting for it to be repaired, the family covered the hole with a blue tarp to prevent rain from getting in and causing more damage."
"HOA fined them because the tarp was an 'eyesore.'"
– L_bird
Callous
"The president of our HOA came to wish me well when both of my parents died (I lived with them, I was 18). Literally the next day he sent me a fine for forgetting to bring the trash cans in. I drew a middle finger on the paper and sent it back to them and then proceeded to park my car on the lawn until I was able to sell the house. Never did pay that fine or the fines they sent me for having cars on the lawn lol. I know I'm petty."
That's Just Garbage
drag race no GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy"My old boss lived in an HOA that demanded that trash cans couldn't be at the curb for more than THREE HOURS before or after trash collection. She got fined all the time because she was working during those hours and would have to bring it in late."
Power Trip
Some rules have no rhyme or reason for existing. Like fining people if they don't mow their lawns TWICE A WEEK or for not mowing lawns THAT DON'T EXIST.
Must be HOA presidents who are hungry with power.
Buyer Turnoffs
"When we were looking for a house, I was pretty against homes in HOAs, but I'd still look and wanted the bylaws available so I could see if they were something I could live with if I really liked the house. Like our last house we rented was in an hoa and the rules were basically 'keep the grass decently mowed, don't park cars or campers anywhere not paved, animals outside of a fenced area need to be on a leash. Thanks!' So yeah, normal things."
"We found a home we really really liked, but the hoa rules were absurd. Like you had to mow the yard 2x a week between the months of April-October but no mowing after 5pm (because noise) trash can't be taken out before 8am and must be back in the garage by 10 am on wednesdays, no food smokers without prior approval, all grills must be gas and have approval, no cars in driveways longer than 15 minutes" it was insane. No thank you."
Christmas Has A Cut-Off
"My parents HOA is stupid strict. Can't have any holiday decorations up past the first week of Jan. My mom pulled a Clark Griswold and broke her ankle falling off a ladder putting up decorations before the holidays so a wreath was left on the front door longer than allowed. They got a letter with a picture and a threat of fine."
"A few summers later they and some of their neighbors decided to stick it to the man. They got a flock of plastic lawn flamingos and planted them in one of their yards. Whenever the HOA would send a letter the flock migrated to another yard. Kept it up for about a month and a half."
Mowing Without A Lawn
"The first month in our townhouse, we got a notice that we had not mowed our lawn and were in danger of being fined. We didn't have a lawn. The entire yard was covered in topsoil, seed, and straw. The 'lawn' turned out to be a single weed that was growing up in the shade of a bay window."
"I didn't pull it. I tied it to a stake and told them it was our garden."
– Gruneun
Exercise Curfew
"Can't take a walk after 8PM."
"Reason?"
"People's dogs bark and apparently this is others' fault for walking outside..."
Aesthetics
These HOA community rules for maintaining a sense of uniformity were scoffed at as they were created to benefit HOA presidents.
The Second Coat
Giphy"We have to get HOA permission to repaint the house the same color it already is."
Matching Fences
"The fences on your property must all be the same color, and match the adjoining fences of the neighbors property. The community was planned single-family houses with fences between houses. Looking from the street it went House-fence-house-fence-house-.... I was in the middle of the row and had a shared fence with both neighbors, that each had their own color. I got a violation notice the same week I moved."
"If I painted my fences to match each other, at least one of my neighbors wouldn't have matched theirs on the other side. This would have sent a cascade of violations down the street."
Keeping Up With Appearances
"Not allowed to park pick up trucks in the drive way with two exceptions: the Cadillac EXT and the Lincoln Blackwood. These were described as luxury vehicles. The HOA president also drove an EXT so he basically exempted himself from the rules."
Some Shady Business
"Everyone in my neighborhood was fined for having 'dirty roofs.' Seriously, they claimed that everyones roofs were dirty and made the neighborhood look bad. It's not like they were covered in mold or anything, hell idk how a roof is even dirty but 268 of the 284 houses in my neighborhood were fined $75 for it. We found out later that the HOA president started a power washing business and likely just wanted to drum up some business. He was impeached because of it and none of us even paid the fines."
"Edit: I've replied in the comments with this a few times but it should be noted; power washing asphalt shingles will ruin them. It's strips them bare and you'd have to replace them as a result. The HOA presidents son conveniently owned a roofing company, which was 1 of the 2 that were approved by the HOA to work in the neighborhood. So after he would have ruined your roof and made money from that, you'd have to hire his son to replace your roof."
"The Issues"
Why can't HOA's just stick to what's important? They act like members of Congress, don't they? There are far more pressing matters but you want to focus on the trivial. SMH!
"Work Vehicles"
I remember a story about an HOA that told a resident he was not allowed to have a pickup truck because of the ban on "work vehicles" in the bylaws. There was no contractor or business sign on it, the truck was a personal vehicle. The HOA wouldn't budge. He went out and bought an old station wagon that he painted camouflage and stuck a picture in the back window of his brand new shiny pickup truck with a sign that said, "The HOA will allow me to have this car, but not this truck in my driveway." The bylaws were amended shortly to allow non-commercial pickup trucks.
Go Away?
Go Away Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyNot allowed to put a welcome mat at my front door.
- pleetf7
Hush little baby...
Friend of mine lived in a building that didn't allow vacuuming between the hours of 1-3pm; the time of the HOA president's child's nap time.
Here's your fine for vacuuming.
I wasn't vacuuming,
Yes you were I have a recording of it.
I assure you I was no vacuuming, I was at work all day, and I live alone.
Then why did I hear a vacuum going inside your apartment
I set up a 2 hour long track of vacuum sounds to play automatically from 1pm to 3pm. They say music is good for plant growth, and my cactus hasn't done much recently so I though maybe it liked vacuums, have a good evening.
I Love Flowers
We have a landscaping committee. If you want to plant flowers, they must be approved by the committee before you plant them.
I have this rule as well.
When I moved in I noticed a bare spot in the landscaping facing my house. I was wondering what to put there and when I met my neighbour next to me I asked about what we were allowed to put there.
"Oh, nothing.... you're not allowed to add anything to the landscaping."
"Can... I put a potted tree or something there?"
"No. If you're really torn up about it though, you can e-mail the strata."
"Oh, do you have their e-mail?"
"It's mine. Here."
"..."
The Cul-de-Sac
This is stupid for how we were asked to handle it....
HOA covenant says trash cans can't be visible from street. We keep ours at the side of the house like half the neighborhood. You can only see them if you follow the outer edge of the cul-de-sac and are really trying to look for them. And of course that traffic is minimal since it is a cul-de-sac.
Management company told us put them in garage or behind house. I opted for behind the house where the entire freaking neighborhood can see since we back up to the main road into and out of the neighborhood.
So many colors...
My parents moved into an HOA a few years ago. I lived with them temporarily. One day, someone from the HOA went around to every house with a color palette of shades of white that were acceptable for mailboxes to be painted in. If the white paint on a mailbox didn't exactly match one of the shades of white on their color palette, the mailbox had to be repainted, at the expense of the homeowner. My parents had to repaint their white mailbox so its shade of white was acceptable.
I prefer Red...
Shiba Inu Bounce GIFGiphyIn my neighborhood, we are not allowed to have blue trampoline covers. They must be green or black.
Cat's Meow
Not my HOA, but when we were condo-hunting we looked at one community that had a change log for their house rules. They'd been amended from no pets to allowing one cat per unit, and then two weeks later back to no pets. What did that cat do?
Not Without my Camper!
My parents live in an HOA neighborhood. It didn't have a ton of rules or restrictions so they moved in. One of their main rules is you can't have a camper visible from the street.
In the county they live in you can't have a camper parked in front of the house (basically the front door is considered the front of the house). They knew this going into the house so first month they had poured a drive way addition that ran to the side of their house and into the back yard.
Their house is at the end of the street so you can only see this camper I'd you walk into their side yard.
One HOA sent my dad a pic that someone took standing in his yard. He copied the county's trespassing laws and gun defense laws to a letter and forward it to the HOA.
He hasn't heard from them since then.
"True Meaning"
Isn't a neighborhood supposed to be welcoming? That is the whole point of community no? I feel like an HOA should be a band of merry peeps trying to keep the neighborhood happy for all. Who twisted the meaning?
Battle of the Pigeons
Not necessarily a rule, but my HOA has been having a never ending battle with pigeons since I bought my condo 5 years ago. Their latest plan was to leave trays of poison seeds all over the complex (on the ground, no less). This resulted in a pigeon corpses appearing all over the complex with no noticeable decrease in the amount of pigeons hanging around. After a huge storm blew the trays over, it also resulted in everyone being afraid to walk their dogs for fear of ingesting poison. A+ work HOA.
Edit-INFO- This post inspired me to go back through my HOA emails to refresh myself on the situation. The poison was put out by a pest company. I did some research on the matter out of curiosity. Apparently in Arizona, pigeons are not protected & it is legal to kill them, but use of poison is highly discouraged due to our large protected birds program.
"Hedge" your bets...
I have hedges in the front yard. There's dirt under them because you know, plants grow from dirt. HOA comes by and says we absolutely can't have any exposed dirt, including under the shrubs. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do about that?? I just poured mulch over the dirt under the shrubs. They haven't said anything so I think that was the right thing to do. It definitely looks worse than just the plain dirt.
Wildest thing is that it was just the dirt under the shrubs for a literal decade.
- Kuneria
In the Dark
At my parent's house growing up, you weren't allowed to have the garage door open and illuminated after dark for 1) aesthetics and 2) bears. We got cited because we were packing for a camping trip, bringing things from the garage to the car in the driveway. When we pointed out how dumb that was, they said we could have done it without violating the agreement if we'd loaded the car in the dark.
Only White!
You can't leave your trash cans anywhere visible unless it's trash day. For reasons too difficult to explain, it's almost impossible to get the cans in the back yard, so we had them at the side of the house (in the shade, practically invisible unless you were standing in our driveway). Fast forward to a letter from the HOA reminding us of that rule and helpfully including a photo of our cans.
My dad's/stepmom's condo association told them they had to get rid of a potted plant on their front porch because it clashed with their front door. Their WHITE front door. No colors clash with white!
The Insiders
Window washers hired by homeowners must be chosen from an approved list of window-cleaning businesses by the HOA.
I Spy
Binoculars Watching GIF by OriginalsGiphyWe are only allowed to have chained link fences. No wooden or any other fencing. I'm sorry, but I want some privacy in my back yard. Our houses are so close together I can see everything the neighbors around me are doing.
Edit: so I just checked hedges are ok. No mention of slats in the fences. Our bylaws are kinda vague.
The Welcome Note
I recently started renting a house in an HOA community. One of the first pieces of mail I received was from the HOA telling me that my fence had not been approved by the board and the house is in violation of the HOA rules. That was a fun note to get in the first week after uprooting and moving across the country with no money.
Worse than the Cops
I actually live in a condo now with a pretty chill HOA... the worst place was actually when I lived in an apartment in a town that didn't allow overnight parking. I had to park like 1/4 mile away in a municipal lot but had to have the car moved by 830am. Overnight guests had to be reported to the police so they didn't get ticketed.
When I busted my knee and was on crutches, I had to get a letter from my doctor faxed to the police dept in order to get special permission to park on the street near my place overnight.
After having to play "may I have an overnight guest" with the police, an HOA would have to be really nasty to be worse than that.
HOA Karen
When my parents bought the house I grew up in during the early 90's, they got a letter in the mail saying that they hadn't paid their dues for the HOA. They took the letter into the office and asked what fees they were referring to.
The office lady was really rude and pulled out a piece of paper saying that my parents had signed a contract and they were legally obligated to pay their monthly dues and follow the rules blah blah Karen Karen blah.
Well, when my parents looked at the sheet they supposedly signed, it wasn't their signatures. Their names, not their signatures.
Someone at the HOA had forged the paperwork, presumably bc they'd forgotten to get it signed. Needless to say, the contract was void and my parents refused to sign a new one. They were one of about 5 houses that they'd done this to in the neighborhood, one of which was our nextdoor neighbors. About 3 houses to this day still don't have signed contracts including theirs, and they get to do whatever the hell they want with their house, to the immense frustration of the HOA.
""Find a Hobby"
Some people really need lives. I can totally understand noise issues, ugly horticulture, or bad behavior issues. But people are already paying a ton of money for the house and the land, so why do you need to pinpoint every little personal thing? Are these people's lives that dull or empty?
Control
The HOA I'm in currently is controlled 100% by the building company that developed the neighborhood. That control moves to elections once 100% of the plots are developed within the development for residential purposes. The literal last plot currently has a nice looking storage garage for landscaping equipment for the communal areas that the builder maintains. They've maintained control of the HOA for the last ten years.
They don't pester anyone. The only rules for appearances are that the property must comply with state/county/town codes for appearance, building, and fire code.
Attraction
paula abdul 90s GIFGiphyMy Friend lives in a neighborhood with an HOA and it doesn't let you paint your room any colors except white or light grey, because it can "attract attention" if seen through a window.
- Nirrup
Never Before 7
Can't be parked in the same reserved parking space for more than 72 hours. Kinda F'ed up they enforce that during a pandemic.
Can't park your vehicle with the front or rear bumper sticking over the curb.
Pick up trucks have to have a bed covering.
No kids toys, including bikes and scooters can be left outside when not being used.... got a fine for that one when my daughter took a break to eat lunch.
Can't have interior lights on past 10pm without have curtains closed.
Trash has to be put out behind your car after 9pm the night before it's picked up. It doesn't get picked up until around 7am. No fun when you have to leave before 7. No guidance on where to put it if you don't have a car or have to leave before 7. When asked, they tell me to just take it to the dump myself if I can't follow the rules.
A Rigged Election
Dumbest rule in ours is when they pass something it only requires the majority of people who voted to pass it but to stop it from passing you need a majority of the entire neighborhood.
So 50 ppl vote and 26 vote for it and it passes but if 26 vote against it, it doesn't count because you need 51% of the 2600 houses in the neighborhood to vote against it.
Damn Leaves
They up everyone's HOA bill if they need to replace a tree or some bushes, well one time our HOA bill was in the 7,000 because they had a tree break one of its limbs, fast forward a few weeks there are about 20 new small trees and the playground got remodeled.
In Violation
I didn't even know about this rule until I sold my townhouse but the HOA had a stipulation that only certain loans could be used to purchase a townhouse. This excluded first time home buyer loans. That stupid rule cost me $8,000.
That sounds like a violation of the fair lending act. I remember years ago I was renting a studio in an apartment complex that was going condo conversion and I contemplated buying.
They had a stipulation that you had to use their financing or pay a $1500 fee if you used your own financing. I worked for a mortgage company and asked about this clause and was told it was illegal to penalize someone for using their own financing.
- blk95ta
Fill the Gaps
Garage doors have to be closed all the way when closed with no gaps. The dumb part is that this rule was added because of me. I used to drive a tow truck and was often on call at night. There was already a rule that commercial vehicles couldn't be parked in the driveway or on the street, okay, fair enough, I'll park it in the garage. It wouldn't quite fit with the boom, so I'd lower the forks down and close the garage door on them. It wasn't too much longer after that everybody got a notice of the rule change and I had to park about a mile away after that.
The really dumb part is that when I confronted one of the board members about it, she claimed that had always been the rule and I knew about it when I moved in. Stuck to her story even when I showed her the letter of the rule change. Eventually, everyone got sick of that kind of crap and elected a new board, but I'd already quit that job so it was a pyrrhic victory at best.
Keep it Bare
directing homer simpson GIFGiphyNo car covers and no basketball hoops... Apparently, these are distracting to drivers. And nothing else distracts drivers going 20 mph, but it was very important to eliminate these very basic distractions.
The HOA representatives police like it's their job or something. Freaking damn losers, get a real hobby.
Into the Wastelands
Not me, but my parents--
- No BBQing between 4-7PM.
- First-floor curtain must be neutral colors
- Garage door can only be held open for more than 20 mins at a time unless you have permission (usually only granted if you are doing work around the house).
I would rather die than live in one of these wastelands. Just full of people who are mind numbing bored so they entertain themselves with petit-facism.
"Understanding & Consequences"
I feel like the only way to truly understand an HOA is to join and try and destroy it from within. Infiltration maybe the only key to change. Because some of these places are being run like a communist nation. And we all know how that usually turns out.
We'll Pass
The existence of an HOA was enough to cause my wife and I to pass on buying what would otherwise have been our dream house.
That was at the top of our "absolutely won't live with" list when my husband and I were shopping for our home. We found a dream home, and as soon as we saw the area, my husband literally said, "This will have an HOA for sure." The first thing our realtor said when we met her at the front door was, "There's no HOA here." We bought that house for that and many other reasons.
but it's our heritage...
We got fined every time we were putting out Indian decorations for every celebration. Diwali lamps (tea lights in clay pots) outside our front door were a "fire hazard", chalk and powder driveway decorations that wash away with rain were an "eyesore" (but kids could draw hopscotch blocks), flower garlands during harvest season violated the gardening rules.... but people could put up whatever decorations (including garlands) they wanted for Christmas, Easter and Halloween.
get your own waiver...
I'm not in one currently, but I was looking at moving into a park with HOA fees earlier this year. No dogs. 1 cat okay, but required a waiver. WTF? You need a waiver for an inside cat? It's a neat way to make you buy a house but still feel like you're under a landlord's eye. Why not ask that if you have an aquarium you can only stock freshwater fish, only two of them, and you need a waiver for a castle.
Are you just bored?
My old condo had a rule that forced you to keep your recycling and trash bins against your house in the middle of your carport. This took up space meant for the length of your car/truck. Because of this rule, my extended cab tacoma stuck out into the street, leading to complaints about it sticking out in the street. The 80 year old busy body HOA lady told me I had to park the truck in the adjacent lot, not in my carport. I refused, since my tools would be stolen, then moved my bins into my walled in back patio, and parked my GD truck properly in my carport. Morons.
by the blade
surreal grass GIF by Mina MirGiphyMy grandparents once told me someone from the HOA came around one time to measure their grass with a ruler to see if it was over the allowed length.
No 2 Wheels
Just bought a townhouse.
First thing I noticed in the rules (written in 1974) was "no motorcycles" but I bought one anyway and haven't heard anything yet so hopefully they realize how dumb and outdated that is.
The Megalomaniac
There is a singular guy who runs the HOA. He doesn't get payed or anything, he just runs it because he's a power hungry moron. There is no legislature, he has complete power to enforce any policies he wants uncontested.
Right now, he's trying to fly drones through a private company to "map" out the neighborhood, even though it's 2021 and everyone has access to google maps. He's been hesitant though, because the residents have told him that if he flies drones through the neighborhood, they will be shot down regardless of légal repercussions.
I can't stand the guys he's a slimy "man" on a power trip because in the real world he's a looser.
Veggie Scandals
We are not allowed plants. It's a golf course but, really? My edgy neighbor planted some basil. So far, so good. We put up with possible fly balls going through our porch while drinking our coffee each morning, I think you could let us grow the occasional freaking tomato.
Reasons and Laws
There's a rule that you can only have a cat if you fill out this absurd amount of paperwork beforehand, and No Dogs. This was a whole big thing. Two months after we moved in the monthly HOA newsletter had an item in it stating that people who had service dogs were allowed to have them because of Reasons and Laws, &c., worded in the most cranky, passive-aggressive phrasing I've ever seen used in a professional setting. It was hilarious.
- hansfish
From Within
I joined my board in large part to clean up the rules. Right now, they allow "cars" and prohibit other vehicles including "trucks"
What's a car? What's a truck? Are we using EPA rules? A specific dictionary? Is a motorcycle a car? This is literally a law school fact pattern that my professor used to introduce interpreting ambiguous laws.
As far as I can tell, the rule has never been enforced, so after 50 years it's probably waived out of any legal force, but if that's the case, why have it at all?
Same goes for the many references to faxing. I'm 95% sure no one has faxed the HOA anything lately. The rules are pure legalese, which I'm fine with as a lawyer, but most of our residents aren't lawyers, so they shouldn't have to parse through 50 pages of not-even-good legalese to figure out whether they can park an SUV in the HOA.
- Fadnn6
All for $66?
Not a rule, but still an HOA story. So, I bought my townhouse in July and read my closing paperwork very closely. It said there were no overdue payments to the HOA, but there are 2 $66 payments due in July and November. No problem, I pay them but start to wonder why this isn't just part of the monthly dues. So, Christmas comes around and I check my bank account. I'm missing $66 and my HOA took out my normal dues plus that much. I call them the following Monday and ask what the heck is going on.
They say "the previous owner didn't make his $66 payment in March, so you have to pay it." I say "no, I do not. That should have been disclosed in the closing paperwork. Any payments he didn't make at this point are between you and him. I've made all of my payments for this year, so what you're doing is theft. You're going to give me that $66 back or you'll be hearing from my attorney." I got that money back 3 days later.
More than one thing...
It's not so much one single rule. It's bending their interpretation of the rules to whatever they want and selectively choosing facts to back it up. And then fining you for taking too long when literally half the time is spent waiting for them to respond.
Shedding Sheds
Bought an older home in an older sub. Builder came in and built new homes around the older homes. A bother but oh well. Then he tried to enforce rules from the newer sub on the older sub. That was not well received at all and we refused to "join." His HOA enforced "no sheds." Many of us in the old section have sheds. One of his houses caught fire in the garage and went up quickly. Fire department said it was because the family had no shed and gasoline, mower etc. were a safety hazard in the garage.
Be Original...
Gay Hearts GIFGiphyMy gf parks in the garage and I park in the driveway. I was getting quotes to get a little roof to go over my driveway to protect my car from our crazy weather.
Block charter states that the house cannot be modified from its ORIGINAL design that was built in 1986 to include a roof extension either permanent or temporary. We get a severe hailstorm at least once every 2-3 years that causes billions in damage to homes and vehicles. But FORGET THAT we gotta make sure all our houses look similar.
Many HOA guidelines are cosmetic-oriented with the aim of preserving the cleanliness and uniformity of the association's zone.
As you can see, many of these strict HOA guidelines were out of personal interests for the HOA enforcers.
But hopefully, in exchange for paying HOA fees, residences are provided with killer amenities – not limited to tennis courts.
Unless residences are required to mow those as well.
- Homeowners Break Down The One Mildly Infuriating Thing About Their House - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Laws They Wish They Could Abolish - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Rules Have Been Created Because Of Their Actions - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Strangest Rule They Had To Respect At Someone's House - George Takei ›
People are required to have a license to drive, fish, and have certain jobs.
So it boggles my mind that people aren't required to have a license to have kids.
Some of the cruelest and most vicious things I've ever heard were words uttered by a parent to a child.
As an adult, I was haunted by a few thigs.
I can't imagine the scaring of an adolescent.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
A tough realization that most of us have to process and accept at some point is the fact that our parents lied to us when we were kids.
But the tougher fact to process may not be the lying itself, but some of the lies that were told along the way.
Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the biggest lie you believed?"
Adulting 101
"That adults knew what they were doing."
- yukipurple
"Maybe not ALL adults, but I definitely thought that adults with responsible jobs have their s**t together. Then I realized they do not have their s**t together at all."
"Which in turn makes me feel somewhat better about being an adult with a responsible job who does not have their s**t together."
- kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf
Moving Violations
"It’s illegal to turn on the dome light while the vehicle is moving."
"Nope. Turns out it’s just annoying as h**l."
- OstrichMan975
A Lottery Trick
"When I was a kid, my cousin convinced me for, like, an hour that her mom had won the lottery. I can still feel the loss of millions of dollars two decades later, and that s**t hurts, bro."
"WHY, JESSICA, WHY?!"
- iforgotwhereiparked
That Truth Hurts
"I’ll fill up my car with gas before work tomorrow morning."
- hoangtudude
"I will do stuff like this for my fiancé in a heartbeat, but if I need to fill up my own gas tank to avoid doing it tomorrow? That sounds like a problem for future me."
- robbviously
When That Grief Hits Seven Years Later...
"My mom told me when I was five and my favorite dog died that it doesn't matter that dogs die, because in seven years, they respawn."
"So I was like, 'Oh, fine. See you then, bud, I will be older, and we will play again.'"
- josevilla7
Replacement Pets
"My hamster died while I was in school. Went back home, and I instantly saw he was a little bit different."
"My mum tricked me into thinking it was the same hamster and he hadn't changed a bit."
"Mom told me the truth a few years later. I was so p**sed off."
- changethename7
"My mom has done the same thing with my nephew’s parakeet. One day, Pickles #1 flew into the pantry, somehow got stuck in a case of Diet Coke, and got crushed by a can avalanche."
"He was immediately replaced by Pickles #2. My nephew asked why Pickles was so mean to him now. Pickles #2 is an a**hole."
"I’m suspicious that we are on Pickles #3 now but I don’t want to know for sure."
- Brotox123
"My mother's cousin did that with her little boy's rabbit."
"The new rabbit was a psychopath. Having his previously loving rabbit now hate him and repeatedly attack him was almost certainly more traumatizing than learning about death."
"I always wondered if stories like that were part of the inspiration for 'Pet Sematary.'"
- victoriaj
Just in Case
"The microwave will explode if I put my face too close to it while it’s heating food."
- ezzysalazar
A SUPER Secret Affair
"That my parents were married."
"The truth is, my father was, just not to my mother."
- left_over_croissant
A Creative Story
"That my dad moved out and rented a room in the house of a female friend for tax reasons."
- Eldhannas
Such Good Friends
"Outside of dumb lies your parents tell you as kids, my friend who worked at a gas station with a big food station that has some ground beef items told me they use kangaroo meat for their ground beef because it was cheaper than cow."
"I am gullible with my friends."
- _Goose_
The Lie That Keeps Going
"When I was 15, over my summer break, one day my mom called and said she was gonna pick me up and we were gonna go to my stepdad's for the weekend."
"I didn’t understand why I had to go when she would leave me at home by myself for the weekend all the time. I was old enough that I knew the rules and she could trust me."
"She told me there was a mixup at the electrical company and they seem to think we didn’t pay the bill and so the power was gonna be shut off, so we were gonna go to my stepdad's until that got sorted."
"That was a lie."
"A weekend turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, and then the entire summer. We hadn’t been home in over two months. I kept asking when we could go home and she’d always have an excuse."
"We reached September, she’s driving me from one city to my hometown to register for the following year of school, which started up in a week, and this was the closest I had been to home in two months! After I registered, we bypassed my house and started heading towards the highway to go back to my stepdad’s."
"It was at that moment I snapped and started freaking out! I knew something was wrong."
"She pulled the car over and started crying. Apparently, my brother had been helping her pay the bills and when he moved out, she could no longer afford the place on her own. So my stepdad was trying to help but he had his own house and kids he had to look after, and he couldn’t keep it up. We had been evicted."
"We stayed with my stepdad for the summer while my mom tried to work something out with the landlord, but they couldn’t come to an arrangement. Because she never told me, and in order to buy herself time to work something out, she had to be comfortable with potentially leaving EVERYTHING behind…"
"Well, she couldn’t work it out with the landlord and we lost EVERYTHING. The only thing I got out of that house was the shoes on my feet and a few outfits and pajamas enough for a weekend stay."
"My mother wanted to keep the lie going for as long as she could to buy herself time that she had to leave behind everything to keep it going. She never went back for anything, so eventually I can only assume it was all thrown away."
"So not only did I lose material belongings like my computer, my video games, and all my clothes, but I lost basic things like my own bedroom… and privacy as a teenager! I slept on my stepdad’s couch for almost two years until his daughters moved out and I took over their old room."
"But I also lost sentimental things like childhood pictures/videos, the memory box I started when I was seven, and the porcelain dolls my dad had given me over the years, he bought me two per year (birthday and Christmas,) and now that my dad is dead, those are things I wish I still had."
- Neikitia
An Elaborate Tale
"When I was very young, we had a pet hamster. He got out of his cage, so my dad put the cage in the basement, thinking he might get hungry and get back in."
"One morning I woke up and there was the hamster in his cage in the usual place. I asked my mom how they found him and she told me she opened the door to the cellar and there he was dragging his cage back upstairs."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and remembered the exchange that it occurred to me she obviously made that up."
- censorized
Too Real
"That acne would only be a problem when I was a teenager."
- McGamers56
"I started breaking out in the third grade and haven't had clear skin since. I'll be 27 pretty soon. This one hits home."
- bayleenator
Part of the Family
"When I was like 16, I found out that one of my sisters wasn’t actually my sister. She was actually just best friends with my oldest sister growing up, and she lived with my family from when she was 12 or 13 through 18 (she and my oldest sister are 15 years older than me)."
"Unfortunately, her parents wouldn’t sign her over for adoption and didn’t contribute anything to my mom raising her for six years."
"The weirdest part is that my family is predominantly fair-skinned, blonde with blue eyes, but the girl I thought was my sister was traditional Hispanic with darker skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. My mom was always very tan and had darker skin and hair throughout my childhood, so I thought that my other two sisters and myself were the odd ones out."
- Schleeeeeem
The Deepest Betrayal of All
"On April Fool's while I was getting ready for school on a cold winter day, my mom told me, 'School is canceled! It's a snow day!'"
"I ran around for a good two minutes celebrating before she told me, 'April Fools!'"
"I've never felt so betrayed in my life."
- samivat
"You better be a mastermind supervillain by now."
- T_WREKX
"Thank you for sharing your Joker origin story, lol (laughing out loud)."
- JulienS2000
These lies have a wide range from the hilarious to the absolutely diabolical, maybe even with a few villain origin stories thrown in.
A common thread throughout most of these was someone telling a lie in order to avoid a tougher conversation, which only led the younger person to have a lot more to process later.
With theaters finally open to those wanting the ultimate entertainment experience that streaming movies at home can't provide, the pandemic that kept many venues closed now feels like a distant memory.
There's nothing like seeing a film up on the big screen the way Hollywood studios intended, and many would argue that experience is worth shelling out the cash for.
That being said, there is no assurance audiences will remain in their seats until the credits roll at the end.
Because not all movies are created equal. Some are just embarrassingly bad and not worth sticking around for.
Curious to hear from dissatisfied moviegoers, Redditor girlcalledmariaaria asked:
"If you have ever walked out of a cinema because the film was so bad, what one was it?"
These Redditors had no idea what they were in for.
Wrong Expectations
"I've not, but when I saw In Bruges, an elderly couple walked out after 20 minutes and I heard the man muttering that this wasn't a film about Belgium at all. It really tickled me."
– Reverend-JT
Regretful Decision
"Holmes & Watson, my family really enjoyed step Brothers and Talladega nights. So I shouted the 5 of us to the movies on Christmas day because for some reason the cinemas were open and it was showing and we don't really do big celebrations. 15 minutes into the movie we all looked at each other like.. wtf is this. I tried to leave.. I went to ask for a refund because their policy said you can get a refund 30 minutes into the movie... But we were 5 minutes late because of the 20 minute trailers.. I'm still seething about spending $100 to basically die of boredom for an hour and a half. I was sitting there embarrassed about suggesting the family outing. My family stuck it out because I'd paid for it and couldn't get a refund even though I told them I didnt care and begged to leave."
– jande425
Plan B
"I've got a story of a film my friends and I refused to leave, actually."
"In 2006 I was turning 14 and was obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean. My mom threw a pirates-themed birthday party where my friends and I were meant to go to see Dead Man's Chest, which was still in theaters in August when the party was. We dressed up for it and everything."
"Well for some reason the showing we were going to see was packed despite the movie having been out over a month, so there weren't 12 tickets available. My mother (and my friend's mom who came along) made a split second decision to see the next PG-13 rated movie available."
"Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."
"So a gaggle of 14 year old girls dressed as pirates walked into this theatre to a bunch of weird looks, but we sat down with our popcorn as normal. The next hour-and-a-halfish saw the moms be horrified at the crass nature of the film and keep asking if we wanted to leave. The answer was a HELL NO from the whole group. That movie proceeded to be the basis of our inside jokes for the next 4 years. To this day it's one of our collective favorite grade school memories, even if my mother continues to be embarrassed by it."
– fraxiiinus
Whether it was physical or emotional, these films didn't sit well with Redditors.
Saving Our Necks
"Oh, I remember vividly. It was Battlefield Earth."
"The shot angles kept being tilted this way and that for no reason and I started tilting my head so that things would be level. Then my friend joined in. Then we simultaneously were like 'are we going to cramp our necks for THIS?' And walked out."
– Ahlq802
Punishment For Sneaking In
"I walked out of 28 days later. Not because it was bad. I was 9 years old and snuck in and it was freaking me the f'k out.. watched it years later and enjoyed it."
– OMGi_hafta_poop
Oh, The Horror
"I saw Prometheus twice in theaters. At the second show, a group of 10-year-olds snuck in. The first R-rated scene, which features an alien worm/snake that crawls inside someone's shattered arm, caused these kids to flee the theater in an absolute panic. I imagine they will never forget that day."
– fleur_delyk
Sometimes, it's the theater's fault.
Failed Attempts
"I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, and they played Rise of the Guardians."
"It took about five minutes to realize it was the wrong movie the first time. They tried to fix it, played Rise again, tried to fix it, played Rise a third time, and the whole theater walked out for refunds."
"Apparently it was a issue at a lot of theaters."
– MandolinMagi
Not A Prank
"I guess this technically counts but when I went to see deadpool 2, the cinema accidentally put the wrong film on and played some Amy Schumer film instead. Everyone in the screen thought it was some meta deadpool joke and out of nowhere he’d appear and shoot Amy Schumer so we were all waiting on that. After about 10 minutes of the film, the staff came into the screen and explained that they had put the wrong film on and couldn’t undo it because of their tight schedule etc but we would all get a refund and were welcome to stay and watch the rest of the Amy Schumer film. Everyone left."
– KMeech1969
Other times, the movie itself doesn't screen well for the audience.
Far From Purr-fect
"I’ve never walked out of a movie and I saw Cats opening weekend."
– Man_Bear_Pig25
"I walked out on it, but then decided I wanted to be back inside. They let me back in, but then I walked out again."
– CatherineOfArrogance
I'm all for supporting the arts.
But if a movie I already paid a non-refundable admission for was absolutely terrible, I'd have no problem forfeiting the cash to spare my sanity and walking out of the theater.
The one time I did just that was when I went to see The Island of Doctor Moreau starring Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer.
I was a kid and I was thrilled to go see a movie all by myself.
Unfortunately, the sci-fi horror film wasn't enough to captivate my short attention span.
I walked out and subsequently called my mom to pick me up from the mall where the movie theater was.
Those were the days...
If there was one good thing to come out of the pandemic, it was that it made us all the more appreciative of all that is good in our lives.
No one ever appreciated the importance of friends or family more, having to be kept apart from each other for months, or the little things which bring us joy, which we made sure to keep doing even as pandemic restrictions were lifted.
Of course, being alone with our thoughts for such a long time also resulted in our reflecting on things in our lives, or in the world in general, which we were less than happy about.
Not to mention the all-important realization that life is short and precious, and we don't have time to waste our thoughts on some things.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.