During my time in New York, I have had more roommates than I can count.
I use to keep a running tally but I stopped at twenty... or at least I stopped caring.
I have been blessed to not have been bogged down by any true psychos.
I had a few borderline loons but nothing where I feared for my life.
Sadly, I know far too many people where that wasn't the case.
Redditor00Dylanwanted everyone to share about the times we've lived with some serious nutjobs. They asked:
"What did your roommate from hell do to earn their title?"
I have a friend who had a roommate who would slip into her room at 3am to watch her sleep. For fun. NO!
My Stuff
Audrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTVGiphy"Yelled at me for reading my own books because it messed up the decor. Books were sorted by color and not subject and reading them made them look not as new. Yeah. My own books."
madpiratebippy
Ruined
"Roommate was a total slob, and I am not saying this lightly. He would eat dinner on the couch, then put his dirty plate (with scraps and bones) under the couch. I would have to check constantly for that or else we would get some foul smells. One time he had pancakes and put the plate under the chair, and due to the large amount of leftover maple syrup we got ants. He would just trash everything and made the house disgusting."
"Finally I had enough and I stopped cleaning up after him. I just let the house fall into total ruin. He then started staying at his parents house, telling them and our friends that I was a slob and he couldn't handle it anymore. He eventually moved out and lives with his girlfriend now. She complains constantly that he is a slob."
Calis708
Psycho
"She released my pet iguana into the wild. She blackmailed me via email from the next room. I caught her going through my nightstand when I came home from work. When I moved out, she poured baby oil and soy sauce all over my N64, SNES, Sega, and controllers. She ran a needle across my favorite DVDs. I got her back, though… and got my consoles professionally cleaned."
paythemandamnit
Thief
"She had the landlord return the security deposit in her name, even though I'd paid it in full. It was $1800. When I asked the landlord for the deposit back, he said he already gave it to her and I had to work it out with her. I was 19 and didn't know any better. Needless to say, she never paid me back. Still bitter 20 years later. I worked full time in college and her parents paid her way. $1800 was a lot of money back then."
Jen_the_Green
Holes
Kyle Gallner Reaction GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy"Burned holes through the bottom of my pots making instant ramen in maple syrup instead of water. She forgot it on the stove while playing bongos in the living room at 2:00am with some dude she’d brought home off the street."
Terin_OSaurusrex
That's why there is a microwave!
Menu Issues
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphy"I had roommates there were 7th Day Adventists and would eat my food. They said they were not allowed to eat pork so I started buying only lunch meats that obviously contained pork but they still ate in anyway."
wanted_to_upvote
"inappropriate"
"She stole my underwear, wore them, then reported me to our boarding school for having personal 'inappropriate' underwear when I confronted her for stealing them. She got in trouble for theft, but I still got in trouble for having clothes outside the dress code even though I threw them out after I saw them in her dirty laundry hamper."
CaffeinatedHBIC
big mistake...
"One of my first flatmates in London was weirdly into me. One time I took a friend home cause she was too drunk to take the tube by herself. My flatmate saw us getting home, asked me if she was my girlfriend and I said yes hoping he'd leave me alone after this... big mistake. He asked if he could sleep with us in my bed (my friend was passed out at this point), said he 'wouldn't do anything, just wanted some human contact.' Creepy as hell, moved out shortly after that."
SugarHewson
"hashed"
Black Girl GIF by Sam CannonGiphy"My college room mate ran out of pot so he tried to boil down his bong water to 'hash' in my microwave using my tupperware. The residue ended up fusing with the plastic at the bottom of the container so he scraped it out with a razor blade and smoked a big bowl of plastic and bongwater concentrate with the windows closed."
GoBananaSlugs
The Kitchen!
"I had a coworker who was living at my home for some weeks. Wasn't specially clean and sometimes he drank my beers but overall it was an ok situation. One day he told me he was moving back with his wife, and I said it was cool, he could take his things out whenever he needed, not a rush."
"Almost immediately I found someone else who was looking for a room and I told him yeah you can move in on Monday. Monday morning I wake up and there is a bicycle on my living room. 'Weird- how did he got in here?' I thought. Went to the kitchen (the kitchen!) and found ex roomie banging a woman there."
"Someone who wasn't his wife. I threw his stuff outside and asked for the keys. It was a little awkward afterwards at work."
Corona_Hex
Please NO
"Freshman year he called for a meeting with our RA. During it he said, "Sometimes when everyone's sleeping I want to pour gasoline all over the place then light a match and walk away from the mess". RA with a stunned face is like, 'no... no don't do that.'"
Duck_Sorcerer
"broke in"
"Not super terrible but we went to a party, he got drunk super quick and saw some people he didn't want to be around and walked home. About an hour later me and my other roommate headed home too. When we pulled into the driveway we saw lights on in the living room, which quickly went off. When we got inside we saw a massive person sized hole in the hallway wall into the bathroom."
"Our roommate was pretending to sleep and when we asked him what the fuck happened he said someone 'broke in' didn't try to steal anything but just busted a hole in our wall (from inside of the bathroom into the hall I should add), then slipped out the still locked back door (they didn't see him laying on the couch at all either apparently)."
theDeuce
Witness
Cry Crying GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"Literally murdered a man at my house. I had to testify."
CoyBabee
“treat”
"Started doing small amounts of methamphetamines regularly to 'treat' their self diagnosed ADHD. Did seem to help for a short time but then quickly descended into large amounts of crystal meth almost all the time. Breaking point was when they presented a 30+ bullet point itemized list to all roommates about the things they didn’t like about us."
"Included things like '3 crumbs were left on counter after cooking' and 'chair not pushed in perfectly at table after standing up.' Then they began stockpiling guns in their room. Luckily lease was up for renewal and we all noped out of there quickly."
Gold_Passenger_5879
Poor Pooch
"He would always leave his dog for too long and she would s**t on the floor. It was an old dog and I'm sure at one point it wasn't an issue. The problem was this guy didn't even try to do anything to fix the issue. I'd get home from work every day and walk into a house that punched me in the face with s**t smell when I opened the door."
"We talked to him about it over and over again and he'd just blow it off. What did he finally do when he got fed up with us complaining? He put the dog down. We just wanted him to maybe come walk her while on break at work. His job was 5 minutes down the road. I can still feel the tension in the room when we found out she was gone."
thephuckedone
The Dealer
"Dealt drugs out of the place. Started to cook something and passed out starting a fire. Didn't pay his share of the rent. Brought a Kalachnikov into the place, dude knew nothing about guns or gun safety. Stole money, a Playstation, and items/food/clothing/money though it took a while to prove it."
"Tried to convince all of us to do drugs with him. Left heroin needles around. One of the roommates was a former heroin addict and he leaned hard on him to try to get him to do heroin again (failed). A couple of us managed to break the lease and GTFO."
"He broke into all of our cars in retribution and threatened us and stalked us after we moved to a new place. He wound up in prison for a year, and when he got out started a fight that ended very badly for him with him in intensive care in a hospital and that was the last I heard of him."
Wereno
No Trades
"My college roommate would lay on our couch all day and night, shirtless, playing online poker and watching sports on the shared TV. He mooched everything. Stole my food, alcohol, weed, etc. He didn't work, he was just always there. I would hangout at the neighbor's house mostly because it was so annoying and obnoxious. He'd wonder over late at night when we'd all be drunk and try to trade my food, alcohol, etc. for things at my friend's house right in front of me."
dahoth
Thief
Spring Break Drinking GIFGiphy"Forged a check while I was away and drained my bank account. Spent it on cocaine and airfare to the Caribbean. That was 23 years ago, no one has seen or heard from him since."
andS0NS
Oh the pot issue. Stoners really need to live together. Nothing against it, but you know what I'm saying.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.
I tripped on a dead tree branch.
The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.
My belongings were strewn about.
And my to-go burger was dead.
A simple walk.
A simple dead branch.
And almost lights out.
Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:
"How did you almost die?"
Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.
We're always moments from the end on highways.
Back in the Day...
Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."
ChristmasKid88
On the Disk
"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."
EatA**FromBack
"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."
dimlylit_
Saved
"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."
loztriforce
"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."
coffeejunki
Shucked
"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."
"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."
datnetcoder
Finding Tracks
College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."
danvo5
Bears are a no go for me.
Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!
Several Strikes
Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."
"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."
lizard_king0000
Oh Barb
"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."
"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"
CharismaticAlbino
Climb Up
"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."
Yugan-Dali
Blood Loss
"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"
Material_Cry1697
These were some tremendously close calls.
Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.
