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People Share Their Craziest 'But It's Only A Scratch' Experiences

People Share Their Craziest 'But It's Only A Scratch' Experiences
Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

If you've never seen the comedy classic, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," there is a scene where Arthur, King of the Britons, encounters a black knight guarding a bridge.

Arthur quickly figures out the stalwart knight will not let him pass, so the two do battle, with the king severely injuring his enemy in the process.

He cuts off all his arms and legs.

Yet the black knight persists, insisting his injuries are, "but a scratch."

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Turns out this happens to people in real life, not so much with swords and knights, but with can openers and ice skates.


Reddit user, SingleFunction223, wanted to know what injury really wasn't as bad as it appeared to be when they asked:

"What was your 'Tis but a scratch!' moment?"

It comes out of nowhere, and that could be the leading cause to why you might not notice right away.

You want to get back to work, or your shopping, unaware you're missing your kneecap.

It's Just Really Good Makeup

"Worked at a haunted house that took place an in an old soap factory. During rehearsal one night, I tried to go down a narrow staircase in the dark, tripped down the stairs and fell into a conveniently-placed shopping cart."

"My shins were bleeding all over but I didn’t notice until like fifteen minutes into rehearsal and that’s only because somebody said something."

slaughterteddy

No, I Only Want You To Look At This Injury, Not That Injury

"I once dropped a piece of ducting at lowes (home improvement chain in USA) and tried to catch it, slicing my thumb and palm. Not too bad, but bleeding a bit. Clenched a tight fist to stop the blood and found an employee to ask for a bandaid, he looked at me and ran off to grab some and he came back with a handful. I was confused, only took two because it wasn't THAT bad and went to the bathroom to clean my hand and put on the bandaids."

"4 hours later I was scratching my leg at home and felt something weird. Looked down and there was a 4in long very bloody gash down my left shin that I had no idea about. Wasn't that deep but was rather long."

"That poor employee probably thought I was crazy, and I felt silly."

"Another time I was using an axe to chop up a branch and the head bounced funny off a knot and took a glancing blow at my shin. The only part of that I felt was the bruising from the impact. I couldn't even tell where the cut was without looking"

"Point is I am now convinced that shins feel no pain from cuts."

Nice_or_Sarcastic

So Bad You Need A Shot Out Of It

"I'm a very clumsy person, especially when it comes to the kitchen. However, every time I've cut myself with a knife or a can, or burnt myself, it has been something I'm able to fix at home, with a bandage or over the counter medicine."

"A couple years ago I was opening a can of beans, and had my middle finger extended when I was opening it. Unfortunately, I pulled the ring too fast, and the lid sliced my middle finger. I thought it was just another cut, so I went to my first aid kit, grabbed bandages, and went to the bathroom to clean the wound and apply pressure. I made a mess of the floor and my bathroom with the blood dripping."

"Nonetheless, no matter how long I kept pressure on it, the wound kept bleeding, and I was unable to put the bandage on it. I lived with my parents, so I asked them for help. They tried to cover the wound, but blood kept coming out. We gave up, decided it was time for the ER, and had to get stitches and a tetanus shot. I got a scar out of it, and lost my now bloodied beans, but fortunately the lid managed to miss the tendon, so I didn't lose mobility."

penguinsreddittoo

Confident Quarterback

"Dislocated my shoulder playing football but said I could keep playing. I was wrong."

– dodongtv

Injuries are somehow worse when no one is around to help.

That makes the situations when someone is there to tell you you're bleeding out the side of your head a little easier to stomach.

A Boss Keeping An Eye Out For You

"Sliced my hand during work from finger to elbow and tore the skin nearly clean off."

"At first I went, this is fine I just gotta get a bandage."

"Boss yelled at me and took me to the hospital."

AlleywayGum

No Help To Be Found

"Had a grinding wheel disintegrate, and a piece of it slammed into my thigh. Felt like a strong slap at the time, so I just hissed, rubbed it a little like a bruise, and went on back to what I was doing. About 10 minutes later noticed my sneaker was wet inside and saw the whole leg was covered in blood and the shoe was soaked."

"It wasn't a bruise lol, that piece split the skin and muscle pretty deep. And since it was in a remote location, there was no immediate opportunity to get it sutured, so now I have a mouth-sized and shaped scar there."

TheOnlyXBK

Don't Tell Mom

"When I was a kid we had this old go kart thing that I sat on while my older brother pulled a rope tied to it. We went around in circles then after landing from a small bump, my right leg got stuck between the front wheel & frame or so, next thing I know almost my entire right leg was drenched in blood."

"My brother took some cotton balls & bandages and started cleaning the blood, as we swear not to tell mom. Somehow turns out the cut wasn’t even that big or deep, only got a small band aid, not even needed at that. So in conclusion my skin is made of rubber and my blood flows like pulp."

companysOkay

If there's anything this entire discussion has taught us is that the human body going into shock can lead to some truly terrifying moments.

Makes You Wonder How Someone Doesn't Need Their Knee

"Took a spill at night while inline skating. Got up, felt some blood on my knee but kept doing some more runs."

"Got home and every other step I left a bloody footprint. My mum started screaming and I discovered I'd basically torn my knee cap off."

SalemScout

"Oof that escalated quickly"

Horror-Rock6276

Can You Hear This?

"Kind of a same thing happened to me when I was making our yard look cleaner with my 1960 Fordson Major tractor. Left-side axle snapped in half and I fell down a deep ditch."

"I just climbed the ditch like 'Well that was something' I walked inside to ask my dad to help me with my tractor but my mom came screaming at me in panic as my right ear was torn in half."

"I was so confused but she took me to the mirror. We went to hospital and I got stiches. Only started to feel pain in the morning."

"The tractor had a modified cockpit from a valmet or something. It was only made of iron so it wasn't that soft. That cockpit was totaled and so could have been me if it didn't land on its wheels. It could have been deadly."

Me_ofc_ourse

Listening To Doctors. What A Unique Concept.

"i walked around for over a week with a broken shoulder because i thought it was just a sprain. when i finally saw the doctor, i was like 'i’m pretty sure it’s just a sprain'. doc was like 'judging by the bruising, it is very much broken'. x-rays later confirmed."

skater_dude_717

​That Bone Ain't Right

"I had a fall at a skate facility some friends were building and I ended up working at. They had just finished the 3' mini half-pipe. Landed bad on my wrist. It was painful overnight, but when I woke up pain had gone."

"Went on with my life. As someone else noted, it wasn't the pain that sent me to the doctor. It was the holding a cup of coffee, or a beer and getting the angle wrong and just dropping it that did. Six weeks later. I had a friend who was a doctor. He said he could feel that the scaphoid bone wasn't 'right'."

"He sent me to the hospital where his cousin worked and I ended up getting one of the first fibre-glass casts in Queensland. Which went well with being the first person to break a bone at my friends' skateboard facility."

– yearofthesquirrel

Falling For Her

"Fell out of a tree in front of a girl I liked. Seriously bruised my tailbone but successfully (I think) hid the absolute agony I was in until I was out of sight."

– [deleted]

Bada** Hero

"Got jumped by the guy who was stalking my cousin, he slit my throat, but didn't kill me. I beat him until I passed out. Woke up, got cleaned up and drove myself to the hospital after stopping to ask directions."

– Adddicus

Don't try to tough it out.

Get out the antibiotic ointment, grab the bandages, and just take it easy for the rest of the day.

No need to be a Black Knight about the whole thing.

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Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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