It'd Be So Easy, Too
[rebelmouse-image 18347605 is_animated_gif=These stories are in no way a strategy guide to follow, a map to abide by, or rules to success. No, they are simple musings from people who've thought up the best ways to sneak their way into any job they'd want.
Absolutely do not follow the answers to Reddit user, u/NBLSS's, question. Seriously. What high level job do you think you could lie your way into with no experience and no one would notice?
Getting That Tenure
[rebelmouse-image 18347606 is_animated_gif="They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard."
Fake News
[rebelmouse-image 18347607 is_animated_gif=Head of a Newspaper.
Always just be in a rush and yell things at my underlings. Get me that scoop! Do what you gotta do to get me that story kid! I need pictures of Spiderman!
Not Lies. False Truths.
[rebelmouse-image 18347608 is_animated_gif=Not sure if high level but "Paranormal Investigator".
Lying with conviction and charisma is one of the most important qualities one can have in that line of work.
Someone Who Actually Did It
[rebelmouse-image 18347491 is_animated_gif=Lied my way into a tech repair job.
Asked my new boss if he could run me over their operating procedure with an example on the bench and apart from putting my pc together had no real experience at all. But I watched and learned and asked for lots of second opinions in my first month.
Never got noticed and got extra work from him using my software experience. I still freelance software solutions for him and his clients today hahah.
You Are (Adjective) That Likes (Adverb)
[rebelmouse-image 18347610 is_animated_gif=Horoscope writer seems pretty straightforward
That's All It Takes, Right?
[rebelmouse-image 18347611 is_animated_gif=IT guy. Good ol' unplug it and plug it back in
Get The Team Together
[rebelmouse-image 18347612 is_animated_gif=I'm a pretty good cook, but never worked in catering professionally, other than catering a few friends parties.
One day a small but posh cafe near my kids school put a sign saying they needed a head chef who made "foodie" foods rather than classically made food etc.
I walked in, spoke with one half of the owners (the wife ran the retail part, the Italian classically trained soon-to-be-ex-husband ran the kitchen but was leaving soon). Told her I'm possibly what she's looking for, would she like a demonstration etc. This was on a Thursday, she asked me to come back on the Monday with some dishes.
Long story short, came back Monday and had the job by Thursday. Redsigined the menu, ran a team of 5, put all in place, everyone loved the menu and food...
...and 7 weeks after starting I found that they didn't have a license to sell food. I bounced within 10mins of finding out. All in all, I was on the job 8 weeks running stuff I've never done before. Proud achievement but when I asked legit chef friends about it (who were way jealous I'd done that without any training or anything) they told me that at the very least I could be named in documents if the shop got in trouble for selling food.
Does Anyone Really Know Anything?
[rebelmouse-image 18347613 is_animated_gif=Wine taster.
I could just make ANYTHING up and people would agree with me.
Set...
[rebelmouse-image 18347614 is_animated_gif=Secretary of Education?
...SPIKE!
[rebelmouse-image 18347615 is_animated_gif=Too easy: President.
Don't you love a good myth?
Us too.
Let's put some of NSFW ones to the test.
RedditorWizzlyG33wanted to hear about what lies need to be exposed when it comes to sex, death and all things over the top in life. They asked:
"If MythBusters had a NSFW episode, what would you want to see on it?"
Oh Jamie
"A five second segment where Jamie points at a diagram and says, in complete deadpan, 'This is where the clitoris is.'"
TheFeelsGoodMan
"If they did such an episode, I could see this being in it for sure."
Chubby_Bub
BUSTED!
"I want them to purchase every pill they see on the internet that would make their penis bigger and see what happens."
tkepongo
"I think we can call that one BUSTED already. In what version of any world can you imagine there is a simple pill to make your junk more impressive and every dude you know doesn't already have a case of 10000 pills stashed under the bed?"
_Alternate_Throwaway
Don't Sit
"Can you actually get an STD from a toilet seat?"
BloodyChapel
"This is an interesting thing actually. It was a myth deliberately perpetuated to make people less ashamed of asking for STD tests."
leonielion
"Fun fact: There are multiple STDs that can be dormant (like inactive) for years. Like several years."
"You’d never know you had gotten it. Then something triggers it, maybe an infection or something, and then you start showing symptoms/Can now test positive. So technically a partner from years before could have given it to you and you either think your SO is cheating or haven’t been with anybody in a long time. Either way it’s scary when you think about it."
DesperateMango1731
After Death
"Does a person really stay conscious for a few moments after beheading?"
SammyGotStache
"There was a French physician who tested this in the early 1900s. After a criminal was beheaded he picked up the head and shouted the criminal's name. The guy opened his eyes and made eye contact with the physician over a period of 30 seconds whenever his name was called. Edit: I provided the source in other comments but here it is on the original comment."
UnadulteratedWalking
Theories
"Size correlates to what? Feet? Nose? So many theories."
throwxxawayxx10977
"I have size 12 feet and a massive nose and huge hands and the little guy is small."
FireTrickle
Oh the lies and the rumors and the shade.
More is More
"They did prove that women with larger breasts will get more tips. Which isn’t really not safe for work, because Kari literally was working at a coffee shop."
Unsettleingpresence
"If breast enlargements will help your job would you be able to write them off on your taxes?"
Mr3k
Deep Down
"How deep underwater are you still able to orgasm?"
Successful_Present39
"Pretty sure there's no lower limit. When you're underwater, your body is under pressure, but for the most part doesn't actually get compressed. Only your air spaces (lungs, sinuses, inner ears) are really subject to compression from ambient water pressure. There can be painful exceptions like air pockets inside a tooth filling, which I do not recommend experiencing."
"Most of your body is water or various solids, which push back on the ambient water pressure. You prostate shouldn't be blocked by water pressure any more than your bladder is. Source: am old scuba diver, I've done all kinds of things a hundred feet underwater. At that depth the ambient pressure is 4 bar, which in olden-tymes units is nearly 60 pounds per square inch. Also: fish do it underwater, doesn't seem to stop them."
UlrichZauber
Tasting Men
"Does pineapple make your semen taste better?"
TMNT4lyfe
Keep Thinking
"Post orgasm clarity: How much better can you solve puzzles or remember something?"
texanaftdy
"Well, recently I did a lot of reaction time tests on humanbenchmark.com and while normally I get average of around 140-145, after a good O I consistently got around 130-135, very often getting single clicks close to 120 which almost never happens in other cases. And it's weird because I feel more tired but apparently my reaction time improves for some reason."
berni2905
Safety First
"A take on the top ten OSHA violations list to see if they are as dangerous as they say."
Mariuxpunk007
"Safety regulations are written in blood."
GegenscheinZ
Well that is a ton of great suggestions. Let's work on it.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Many people value solitude, and having time to themselves.
For others though, loneliness can be a crippling feeling.
Having no one to talk to or spend time with can get wearying after an extended amount of time.
Something many people know more than ever after the global pandemic hit in spring of 2020.
But while some people simply succumb to being lonely, others will find ways to help them cope with, if not completely forget, being all alone.
Redditor No_Blackberry_6286 was curious to hear the different ways people have of coping with their loneliness, leading them to ask:
"Reddit, how do you cope with loneliness?"
Make the most with what makes you happy
"I've learned to enjoy my own company and focus on my hobbies."
"Funny enough, this gives me stuff to talk about when I am around people."
Voices in the background
"Listening to people talk on YouTube so I feel less alone in my house."
Millions of friends, just one click away.
"Chat with random people on Reddit."
Still figuring it out
"I don't I'm f*cking miserable."- Savathunh
"I don't :("- __MashedPotatoes__·
Get my body movin'
"Working out."
"It makes me feel better about myself and I have something to do alone."- DerpBread69
Who says I need to?
"I love solitude."- Befuddled_GenXer
Hit the snooze button
"Sleep 12+ hours a day."- RockandRoll682
Instant tension and relief
"Lots of arguing online about sh*t I don't care about at all, just to have some form of social interaction, and get off at least 3 times a day."-
There are very few worse feelings than that of being alone.
But it's also quite remarkable how much doing something that makes you happy, be it ever so simple, can elevate your feelings.
In this day and age of advancement, it's crazy how so many things leave our heads scratching.
Like how in 2022 is such and such still around?
Everyone in New York wondered that for the past decade until they took the final payphone.
I always wonder about companies that still make you send a fax.
Y'all have heard of email right?
RedditorPineapple_WarpDrivewanted to compare notes on why we think certain things and parts of life are not yet obsolete this late in the game of time. They asked:
"It’s 2022, what shouldn’t exist now?"
I feel like the list will be longer than we expect. We are still behind in certain ways.
lazy...
"People sticking gum on random surfaces instead of at least throwing it towards the trash can a few feet away."
iesharael
How is this allowed?
"'Convenience' fees to pay bills online."
Rude_Yam_9962
"Yeah or any 'additional fee' that’s required to buy the product or service. Advertise $100 but then at check out they add in service fee $25, convenience fee $10."
"Always at the last second too, usually right before you enter your credit card info. Wtf? How is this allowed? Just advertise $135 if that’s the price the customer is paying. Should not be allowed to bait a low price and switch with a higher one once the customer is already invested."
Can you hear me now?
"Not being able to get cell service is spots in my own home."
Haunting_Spot_8002
"A friend worked in Africa building homes for the people. He said there were bush men with spears and loin cloths with a cell phone clipped on the side. Middle of nowhere yet reception everywhere."
RedLeader7
"Most of Africa skipped land lines altogether and went straight to mobile. In the west, cell phones and mobile internet are a luxury, in less developed regions it's often the only way to communicate."
pixelbart
System Collapse
"Companies that create problems and sell solutions instead of solving existing problems."
draconic_oxalis
"This was the inevitable outcome of an economic system in which only those doing labor are allowed to have food and shelter, yet technology is constantly reducing the amount of labor that is actually necessary."
"We only get money for food if we are seen to be working on problems. Now we're having a shortage of actual problems so we must make artificial ones to keep surviving. If only we had UBI, all of these pointless industries would disappear overnight as no one wants to keep working these jobs they know are pointless."
snapwillow
Hang Up
"Spam calls."
mstrss9
"I literally had spammers somehow dupe the phone number of my local council, it's scary just how close they can get."
Hazbro29
I HATE these SPAM calls. All hours of the day and night. I hate you!
Speed Up
"Slow internet."
Necessary_Rule_8485
"We figured it out. Just that the companies are greedy and keep the money for themselves instead of upgrading infrastructure."
Unlucky_Clover
Paper Trail
"Junk mail."
furryShambler
"I know! Whatever happened with the Paperwork Reduction Act?"
Julie-Andrews
"in the U.S. you can reduce your junk mail a lot by going to.DMAChoice.org and OptOutPrescreen.com and filling out the forms for your address. I have reduced my junk mail by about 90% : FTC source"
FSMFan_2pt0
car-centric
"Having to spend 3 hours in traffic everyday."
CampaignAlternative3
"Because North American cities have over restrictive zoning laws that segregate cities based on type of usage and they build to a very low density and with car-centric development that makes it so everyone has to use a car to get anywhere."
houndog129
"It's not so easy to just 'find a job closer to home' for example I'll search on Indeed and the closest job in my line of work is like 2hrs away."
PhatShadow
It's Round
"Flat Earthers."
da_sylent
"So everything but earth Is round right? (according to flat Earthers) So as some members say it's like a frisbee in space. What if, bear with me... the reason the world will end is because a giant dog will catch us and kill everyone on earth by shaking the frisbee too much and cause floods and crap. Because if so, that's how I wanna die, letting a pupper have some fun with a fisbee."
viber223
Gross
"Child beauty pageants."
Heliouse66
"If I see a mother make her child do one of those, I WILL judge her."
EarwaxWizard
Can we work on eradicating these things? It's all well past expired.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
It's PRIDE month. It's time to be loud and proud.
Well, every minute of everyday we should be loud and proud.
But this month gives you an extra special buzz.
So in the spirit of learning, we will be taking questions from the class.
I know cisgender straight people still have a lot they don't understand.
What do you need to know?
Redditorhre_nftwanted everyone to feel comfortable enough to be as aloud what they've been waiting to ask a queer person. Safe space for all. They asked:
"What question have you always wanted to ask LGBTQ+ people but didn’t because you don’t want to offend them?"
There is always a good way to ask questions. I don't mind many of them.
I'm Out
"What should I say to someone who comes out to me? Saying 'um, OK' or 'that's nice' sounds like I'm dismissing them but trying to ask questions or engage in conversation about it seems intrusive."
KaleidoscopeOk1749
"It depends, your response should match their excitement. People that casually weave it into conversation usually don't want confetti and vice versa."
Ok_Objective6181
So Many Letters
"I know you guys want to be inclusive and all but I always feel behind on all The letters you add to LGBT, so is it fine I just say 'LGBT+?' This is not meant to not be inclusive, I'm all for LGBT+. But sometimes it gets a bit too many letters for me personally. So will I offend you guys if I only say LGBT+?"
Riufu
"Lol all the labels I identify with are included in the + and I just say LGBT. I don’t know anybody who has been upset over hearing the shortened version. You’re good to keep using the acronym that you already say."
cas47
I Don't Get It...
"What does non-binary mean? I'm from Italy and I've never met someone who came out as non-binary or even transgender. My brother met a guy once and he (my brother) said he looked gender-fluid. Gender-fluid Is the only term used here, nobody talks about non-binary."
"I know that non-binary means that you don't identify with one gender specifically (I guess), but I really really don't get it. I'm bisexual (although I've never gotten in a relationship with a woman) so I always felt like I could relate to most people of the community in one way or another."
"But this is just something I can't seem to understand, also because I've never met someone like that. I know I might never be able to get it because I'm cisgender, but I was wondering if some of you would like to take some time to share their experiences with me so that I can understand you a little bit more."
Basyl_01
Nuances
"I know I can look up the definition of it, but why is 'queer' part of the acronym? Doesn't it encompass 'lesbian' and 'gay?' Is there a nuance I'm missing?"
Ok-Ninja1040
"One of the unintended benefits of the term 'queer' is that it's a good way of saying 'Not straight, and it's not really important for you to know why or how.'"
-CoreyJ-
Hello There
"Is it ok to use adjacent urinals/talk at the urinals if you two are dating/ married?"
CashmeoutsidePearl
So far, nothing here seems offensive.
You Like It?
"I wanna ask them every time an LGBTQ+ character appears in fiction, if they felt it was a good representation or not."
NoStressAccount
Pleasure Principles
"Do asexual people not want sex/don't feel horny, but still get butterflies in their stomach for a person they like? Or does that mean they don't have crushes/attraction in any form?"
skootch_ginalola
"Each person is different but a lot of asexual people still have crushes and can still be in love with people. Asexual people can be in happy and healthy relationships."
"Some asexual people might still find pleasure in sexual activities but they might not focus on sex in life. Not all asexuals are sex repulsed. But some are. There is asexuality and people who are aromantic. Aromantic people don’t feel romantic attraction to people, but might feel sexual attraction. Some people are both asexual and aromantic."
ArcherE14
Chosen at Birth
"Why is intersex included when it's a physiological/chromosomal variation and not a sexual/gender orientation? Sorry if I worded it wrong."
Fluffy-Ad342
"Intersex people often have their gender chosen by their parents at birth and so tend to have experiences very similar to trans people. Often it even has to be corrected later in life with surgeries and hormones. It's the variation from the normal binary gender/presentation of that, which aligns them with the queer community in most cases."
Yaboijustlikesgoats
Identities...
"For non binary folk: I'm having trouble wording what I want to ask, like, why I guess? I identify as a woman but don't fit in with the typical stereotypes or gender roles, but I still consider myself a woman. I don't feel like activities, or behaviors, or clothing or whatever has to have a gender to it, so why specify that you don't identify as man or woman? Idk maybe because it's not something I've struggled with, it's hard to wrap my head around! Either way, I 100% support anyone who identifies any way!"
meowing_cat93
Extra
"Do you have to pay an upgrade fee to go from the LGBTQ membership to the LGBTQ+?"
ticklemejesus420
"Omg dude, you can get it for free with Amazon Prime! You didn't know?"
Araskog
I Like You
"How do you know you are attracted to the same sex? I personally wanted to know this because I am struggling with my sexuality. I have an attraction to men at least as far as I know. But I am constantly going back and forth with women. And it's been very confusing. So I guess it may be how do you know if you're attracted to anyone?"
Plush_Orchid
Ask all you want. Just be respectful. It's easy...
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.