Crafty People Imagine What High Power Job They Could Lie Their Way Into And Succeed

It'd Be So Easy, Too

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These stories are in no way a strategy guide to follow, a map to abide by, or rules to success. No, they are simple musings from people who've thought up the best ways to sneak their way into any job they'd want.

Absolutely do not follow the answers to Reddit user, u/NBLSS's, question. Seriously. What high level job do you think you could lie your way into with no experience and no one would notice?

Getting That Tenure

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"They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard."

cornette

Fake News

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Head of a Newspaper.

Always just be in a rush and yell things at my underlings. Get me that scoop! Do what you gotta do to get me that story kid! I need pictures of Spiderman!

Philly8181

Not Lies. False Truths.

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Not sure if high level but "Paranormal Investigator".

Lying with conviction and charisma is one of the most important qualities one can have in that line of work.

finelytunedwalnut

Someone Who Actually Did It

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Lied my way into a tech repair job.

Asked my new boss if he could run me over their operating procedure with an example on the bench and apart from putting my pc together had no real experience at all. But I watched and learned and asked for lots of second opinions in my first month.

Never got noticed and got extra work from him using my software experience. I still freelance software solutions for him and his clients today hahah.

That_HomelessGuy

You Are (Adjective) That Likes (Adverb)

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Horoscope writer seems pretty straightforward

Onomahtopoeia

That's All It Takes, Right?

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IT guy. Good ol' unplug it and plug it back in

repspls

Get The Team Together

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I'm a pretty good cook, but never worked in catering professionally, other than catering a few friends parties.

One day a small but posh cafe near my kids school put a sign saying they needed a head chef who made "foodie" foods rather than classically made food etc.

I walked in, spoke with one half of the owners (the wife ran the retail part, the Italian classically trained soon-to-be-ex-husband ran the kitchen but was leaving soon). Told her I'm possibly what she's looking for, would she like a demonstration etc. This was on a Thursday, she asked me to come back on the Monday with some dishes.

Long story short, came back Monday and had the job by Thursday. Redsigined the menu, ran a team of 5, put all in place, everyone loved the menu and food...

...and 7 weeks after starting I found that they didn't have a license to sell food. I bounced within 10mins of finding out. All in all, I was on the job 8 weeks running stuff I've never done before. Proud achievement but when I asked legit chef friends about it (who were way jealous I'd done that without any training or anything) they told me that at the very least I could be named in documents if the shop got in trouble for selling food.

thebigfrenchie

Does Anyone Really Know Anything?

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Wine taster.

I could just make ANYTHING up and people would agree with me.

duckswithfacialhair

Set...

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Secretary of Education?

tacos41

...SPIKE!

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Too easy: President.

MikeBrando2

Companies That Shamelessly Make Terrible Products

Reddit user ricinonthecake asked: 'what companies shamelessly make sh*t products, year after year?'

Be it for clothes, household appliances, or food, sometimes you know you can be one hundred percent confident with certain brands or companies when shopping that you will be getting a quality product.

Unfortunately, this goes both ways.

Some companies have a reputation for exclusively selling and manufacturing low-quality products.

One would think that these companies might reflect on poor sales and bad customer feedback, and attempt to improve their brand with each passing year.

Unfortunately, even if they still get items on the shelf, reviews on Amazon and elsewhere still seem to remain at two stars or less.

Keep reading...Show less

The paranormal is among us at all times.

The ghosts, the spirits, they "live" in their death.

Sometimes a coincidence or a phenomenon is something more.

Leftover essences have been seen and recorded.

Now not everybody is cool with every encounter.

I still have shivers depending on the mood.

But when will we all be on the same page and start living 'Beetlejuice?'

Day-OH!

That could help with the spookiness of it all.

Keep reading...Show less
white police car in wall
Photo by Conor Samuel on Unsplash

Everyone does stupid things, and it's not limited to when you're young either.

When I was 10, my best friend and I snuck out of her house in the middle of the night and hitchhiked to Tukery Hill for ice cream. I can't even count all the ways that could've gone wrong.

Eight years later, my friend and I drove his new car on the sheets of ice on our college campus, trying to see how fast we could go.

The tires skidded on the ice several times, and back then, we thought it was fun.

The stupidity spurred on by impulsivity doesn't ever truly go away.

Redditors can attest to that, as they are sharing what may be the stupidest things they've ever done.

Keep reading...Show less

Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.

Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.

Customer service can be a downright toxic job.

And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.

Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.

That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.

Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:

"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"

I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!

I loathe them!

Oh Dear

Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphy

I used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."

"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"

"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."

slappy_mcslapenstein

The Crappy People

"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."

"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."

11catsinahumansuit

"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"

Sharp-Demand-6614

Go to Holiday Inn

"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."

cryptnificent

"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."

"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."

ItsBobFromLumbridge

Heartless

"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."

Rizza1122

"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."

Less-Storage

Go to Home Depot

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"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."

Eattherich187

Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.

There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.

Switcharoo

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"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."

REDDIT

A Little Sunshine

"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."

Axel_Dunce

"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."

Ok-Ad-7247

LELU

"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."

"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."

MidniteMischief

Cookies!!

"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."

"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."

Frequent-Selection91

Look in the Back

"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."

"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."

A_Womans_Thoughts

From the Box

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"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."

SailorVenus23

Sunny D and champagne?!?!

What in the name of Lucifer?

Who does that?!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.