
Couples Reveal How They Overcome Awkward Obstacles In Their Relationships
[rebelmouse-image 18347564 is_animated_gif=At a baseline, bringing two people together creates an inherently different environment for the two individuals to deal with. And then jealousy can easily rear its ugly head. Love is a great equalizer, but the awkward obstacles still have to be surmounted.
So an anonymous Reddit user appropriately came with the question:
And the internet came back with good advice.
Team Players
[rebelmouse-image 18347565 is_animated_gif=I have 2 degrees and work as a lawyer. My husband never finished uni but has a job that he loves. He's a great father and husband. It doesn't really matter that I earn more than him because it's all just family money. We're both working hard and supporting each other and our kids.
Finding someone that you respect as a person is way more important than the status bullsh-t of degrees and cash. I'd take my husband over a hundred high earners. Just because he didn't get a piece of paper doesn't mean that he's not intelligent, and just because he doesn't earn as much doesn't mean he's not successful. Without his support I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am.
Just find someone who wants to be in your team. Forget keeping score.
The Shared Plan
[rebelmouse-image 18347566 is_animated_gif=I think being fair and honest with each other and taking care of which areas of the relationship you are better suited/equipped to do. The whole idea of a relationship to me is that you're better off combined than as individuals.
For example: in our relationship I work in IT and she's a teacher. I make four times what she does so we split all bills etc. by that ratio. She contributes in a meaningful but manageable way. I pay for most of the "extra" expenses (e.g. holidays) and I bought her a laptop, but she doesn't feel like a kid as she's still involved in the majority of "living expenses" expenditure (and it's not my home, it's ours).
Alternatively, she's at least 374 times smarter than I am and far better educated (bilingual with a top-tier Uni education). She makes the decisions around things like housing (her dad's an architect so she knows what's what) plus things like education for our future kids, as that's obviously an area she knows far more about than me.
The guilt of me knowing she works longer hours and is smarter but makes way less than me is a bit hard to stomach sometimes. I was lucky to fall into an industry which is in demand and has good rewards. We were both pretty poor when we met, so that helps.
Overall though, we have a shared long-term plan - the details of how we get there are less important. My success is her success, and vice versa.
Mutual Respect
[rebelmouse-image 18347567 is_animated_gif=I have a doctorate in my field and make almost 200k more than my husband yearly. He helped me get through school and pretty much raised our children on his own while I climbed up the ladder. It wasn't just my achievement, it was ours. I don't know many men that would have sacrificed as much as he did. Our marriage is strong because of mutual respect and admiration. If that doesn't exist, I don't see how the relationship can work.
Achievement Is Not A Factor
[rebelmouse-image 18347568 is_animated_gif=She has a very technical degree in a small field, and so she makes approximately twofold as much as I do. Fortunately, all that means is we, as a couple, do alright. Personal achievement isn't a defining factor in our relationship. What we do at work, what we did during school, personally, wasn't really a part of who we are. It's actually kind of weird to think that other people might view that as 'alien'.
Treat Them Like Your Equal
[rebelmouse-image 18347569 is_animated_gif=I make 2x what she makes. She refuses to let me pay her half of stuff so I'm basically just saving half of what I make because doing stuff alone is boring and I have to fit her budget. Lucky for her I love her so she is just saving for retirement by making me save. (She loves her job so I'll probably retire at 60 and do my own projects while she keeps working.)
Find Common Ground
[rebelmouse-image 18347571 is_animated_gif=I'm a cook. She's a doctor. We are both intelligent, share the same interests and love each other as people. Also, there's honestly more in common between the ER folks and Kitchen folks then I would have ever imagined. Both professions drink and smoke too much, cuss too much and generally f-cking hate people.
Complements
[rebelmouse-image 18347573 is_animated_gif=It's a partnership as much as a relationship. Love can't keep you together, but honest, kind, communication can. Part of being a partner is absorbing your partners bad days, and helping celebrate success.
My wife has a Phd. I have a high school diploma. She works for a really great job. I'm a stay at home dad. She's always out earned me (rightfully so. I'd be upset for her if I were making more in retail than she is with a phd).
I never put much thought to it. In her field she knows her sh-t inside and out, as you'd expect. But she can't cook, clean, or do yard work for sh-t. To the point I can't wrap my head around it. How you do char boiled eggs? Our talents and success are ours, but they complement each other. Even if we weren't married, we would be a good team.
Honesty it's only as hard as maintaining a happy marriage. Not that it's easy, but you use the same tools.
If you do feel resentment, you're gonna have to learn to let it go. Do that by finding out why you have resentment. Once you find out why, you may find out you can't ever change it and the opportunity you're pining for is gone forever. Gotta let it go. Whatever the problem is, you're gonna have to let it go. You can't live in resentment forever, and it'll fester and infect the rest of the relationship. Let it go.
It's A Partnership
[rebelmouse-image 18347575 is_animated_gif=I spent 30 years doing computer systems work and had some pretty high paying positions, as well as achieving a pretty high degree of personal and professional success.
My wife mostly babysat during the time our kids were growing up then had a pretty good career with the government although she never got very high, not starting till she was over 40.
She did express some jealousy on occasion at how "smart" I was and how well I was doing but I never, ever made that an issue. We're a team, she took care of the kids, I brought in the moola.
I've heard of people who think marriages are supposed to be 50/50 but that is so much bullsh-t, it's not even technically possible. Marriage is no a contest, like I said, it's a partnership, two people working toward a common goal. Sometimes you give more, something they give more, it's not worth worrying about.
We Love Each Other For More Than Our Gaps
[rebelmouse-image 18347579 is_animated_gif=We love each for other reasons than the key gap. So in the end we get past this.
Gap - she has an MSc Management - I have no degree and did not go to university.
Gap 2 - she is a lady of leisure - I work and earn a lot of money with no degree.
The only time it becomes an issue is talking about future child's education. She is adamant that we force our kid into university. I am against the forcing - if kid wants university great. If kid would rather do a private professional qualification/ apprenticeship then ok.
I am only going to stop my child from "doing nothing that could better their life".
Wife hates that, I think she sees it as a dig at her saying her degree is not worth anything. She is not from the UK so can't understand even after marrying me how a lot of people can excel in the UK without degrees.
So we either argue about it infrequently or do not talk about it. Tbh there is no point in talking about it until we have a sense of what child and their abilities they have.
Apart from that - we enjoy lots of the same things and share the same views and have the same life goals - our own home, a child, a pet, travelling to see the world a new place each year, taking care of Our families.
The Importance Of The Work
[rebelmouse-image 18345701 is_animated_gif=I have a Master's degree and make more than $80,000 in the Public Relations field.
My wife has no degrees - just a certificate from a community college and makes about $20,000 a year working part time.
But that certificate is in nursing, and she works in home hospice -- providing comfort to people as they die, helping their family members through the grieving process, etc all in the comfort of the dying person's home.
So while I make a lot more money, her work is inifinitely more important than mine is.
Always The Money
[rebelmouse-image 18347580 is_animated_gif=My wife currently makes a lot more money than me. I make some, but she does pretty well. She is also about to get her PhD and I didn't even finish college.
However, I work extremely hard at what I do, and I am getting better, and I know it will really pay off in the end. She sees that too and supports me. I support her in every other imaginable way. She is very type A and can get stressed, emotional, and overwhelmed, and sometimes just needs me to sit there and let her vent or hold her. We have become best friends, and as cliche as it may sound, we do complete each other in many ways.
On top of that, we share some things in common: we both love running, and we love our dogs to death (we met in a dog park). Good food and whiskey, lounging around reading, and hanging out with friends. I really don't know how I got such an incredibly beautiful and intelligent woman to marry me, but I will do all I can to support her and do my own thing so we can share a wonderful life.
Hard Work
[rebelmouse-image 18347581 is_animated_gif=I am 38 and my wife is 31. She has 3 graduate degrees in the STEM fields, 2 from ivy league type schools. She is now working on her 4th graduate degree in some type of computer science I do not understand. I never attended high school, and had to lie and make a fake high school transcript to get into college, where I have never completed even one full year. Mostly because I can not pass a math course which is 2 of my wife's degrees. We now have a kid, and have been married 7 years July 2017. We are very completely different people in completely different worlds.
I am not sure how we have made it work. She is somewhere on the autistic scale and I am very outgoing and social. I think we understand our own and each others limitations, and are understanding those boundaries more and more every day. She is a college professor and doing well at it, while I stay at home and play a support role. I never had a career or a future, so nothing really there to give up or miss. The best job I ever had was working construction for a low voltage company. 60+ hard hours every week with shitty pay and no benefits. Being a dad and a loving husband has given my life purpose I thought I would never have. I am pretty sure she feels and understands that she would not be able to work as hard and achieve what she has while having a family with out someone like me at her side.
Some tips; find something you both really really enjoy and force yourself to do it together on a very regular basis. For us it was video and table top gaming. We both love it, and play very differently so it makes for some interesting and heated gaming.
Use sex as a tool for bonding. Having a good line of communication is difficult for us, being so different. We have found for us that sex can be a good place for us to enjoy each other being each other. Levels of education or experience or history seems to melt away when passion rises.
The last one I can think of is listen and try and understand. Nothing makes my wife happier than when I make an effort to try and understand what shes talking about. There is also the extra bonus of over the decade or so of knowing her, I have learned quite a bit more than I thought I ever would about the STEM fields.
Now the bad. We do feel like aliens sometimes. We see things differently, and recently discovering how differently we parent. We do fight, maybe more than some. There are going to be things that will always be an issue, like having proper communication and understanding. Every relationship has to be built on compromise and hard work to make it last.
Gaps In Knowledge
[rebelmouse-image 18347080 is_animated_gif=My boyfriend is in a full time job in the type of work he studied for. I am finishing my degree, still.
It definitely becomes difficult with three major factors: Time management, money and maturity.
Time is uncomfortable because I feel like I have so much more free time than him, but then to counter that I work a part time job that takes all of my Sunday. This just needs to be organized around, and I think it's important for the person who's working full time to never assume the other is less busy just because they are not physically clocking in and out at the end of the day.
Money is self-explanatory. He makes money, I hemorrhage it out of my broke, broke pockets. For this I think there needs to be a balance of a show of self-sufficiency on my part, and a show of both generosity but also full belief I can do it "on my own" on his part. Talking openly about financial differences is good, and I personally appreciate when it's acknowledged that he lives a much less anxiety-driven life because money is not an immediate concern for him. This dynamic would change if I were to move in with him, but it would still be about willing to spend a "percentage of what we have" to make things work.
Finally, maturity. Sometimes I feel like I sound like a child when I talk to him about my university shit while he's out there actually being a person and having a job, and the only way this can be cured is understanding that your partner, well, loves you. They would not be dating you if they did not think you were a strong, capable person, especially if they are from a position with a lot more status/power/authority/what have you.
This is a valid question, and I have definitely struggled with it a lot in my own time.
Kindness Over Talent
[rebelmouse-image 18347582 is_animated_gif=My dad was a working-class genius. He didn't have any advantages in life (like the ones I have an frankly squander) but he quite literally is a hero, he overcame them and did some great things.
My mom is the most wonderful loving woman in the world, but on occasion not that bright. I don't think she ever made more than maybe 15 dollars an hour in her life slaving away in a job she hated, different kind of hero.
The difference between them was/is huge. But you wouldn't know it really, unless you got to know my dad.
Once my mom said something really stupid, and I was about the stupid age of 12 or 13 where I knew she was wrong, and I was arrogant enough to think it was cool to call her out on it. My dad heard me sort of arguing with her. He came in, asked what was going on, and then he said something like, "Bill just leave it alone." and he kissed my mom and gave me this look and a sort of head motion like "you better come with me or you're f-cked" so I did.
He told me something like, "Son, your mom is a good woman, I know she isn't the smartest woman but she's one of the best. Let her be happy. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who really loves you. Don't f-ck that up by arguing about shit that doesn't matter."
Adore
[rebelmouse-image 18347583 is_animated_gif=My husband is really really smart, and I'm not. He grew up with a very upperclass family, and I grew up under the bluest of collars and the strappiest of boots.
Over time we've had to have a lot of conversations, as I have felt insecure about my intelligence and class around his family in the past.
BUT! THEN I realized that I know how to change a tire, change our own oil, fix the lawn care equipment, clean every mess, and I'm generally a more organized person. I know how to put the work in until something is completed. So I stopped worrying so much, because my husband sure wasn't worried about it.
It's led to some stressful situations with my in-laws before, but at the end of the day, all you can say is f*** it. Plus, for some reason, my husband adores blue collar life way more.
It's give and take.
Again, Being Equals
[rebelmouse-image 18347584 is_animated_gif=I was a high school teacher and now I'm a SAHM. My husband is an environmental engineer who makes (low) six figures. When I was teaching, I brought home ~20k. We pooled all of our money and didn't differentiate. Even now when I'm not working, we have an equal amount of weekly "personal spending" money we don't have to explain or account for in our budget. I absolutely would not have agreed to stay home if my husband and I didn't share these beliefs about finances.
He values the domestic work I do as much as a monetary contribution to the household. The work I do at home during the week (cleaning, largely, but errands and cooking and so on as well) means that our evenings and weekends are straight-up leisure time for our family. When I was working, we often spent weekends playing catch-up on chores and errands (and grading!) instead of relaxing.
I'll go back to work when the baby is a few years old, but we both really value a few years of parent-controlled education and discipline in the home (vs. daycare or a relative providing child care).
Ultimately, it comes down to mutual values and a shared vision for our lifestyle, and understanding that our roles are very different and symbiotic. Moreover, though, he respects, appreciates, and admires my work as equal to his.
This Sounds Familiar
[rebelmouse-image 18347585 is_animated_gif=She is an immigrant aspiring model and I am a celebrity billionaire who is also the president of the United States of America. We don't always see eye to eye, but luckily she is always able to stay in our New York skyscraper. Also she wouldn't divorce me no matter what I did because when she looks at me she essentially sees a giant orange old gremlin standing in the way of her billions of dollars - and I'll be dead pretty soon.
It's a good system.
Make Someone Happy
[rebelmouse-image 18346617 is_animated_gif=My wife has a college degree and can speak 5 languages with actual fluency. She gets every job she applies for and tries to get.
I have no degree, speak English only with fluency, have struggled to find work. However, I'm funny, computer savvy, can open tight jars, I make her laugh and happy. It's equal because we make each other happy and i'm starting to work now and it's good pay and I'm doing very well. She just loves me for me. Not my resume.
Communication
[rebelmouse-image 18347586 is_animated_gif=My fiancé and I have lived together for a year now. We are very similar intellectually, but he's going into a scientific research field and is in grad school on his way to a PhD while I am doing my best to make it as a music teacher.
So we know finances are going to be very different in the future as it won't be practical for me to pursue a second degree for awhile. We knew this was going to happen, though, and we constantly communicate to check in about how we're feeling, if we are in need of more help, if I can do anything around the house to help with his long hours in the lab, etc.
As usual, communication is key. It's not perfect, and I'm self-conscious about my situation sometimes, but I have to consistently remind myself that a lot of the problems that I face with my career path are not my fault and I'm doing the best I can, and my fiancé is right there for me.
Amazing
[rebelmouse-image 18347587 is_animated_gif=Doesn't matter. My wife has art degree in photography and a PhD in microbiology but was making barely like $40k in acedamia. I have a HS diploma and dropped out of college. I've been doing backup and storage support for 15+ years and bring home $100k+. She's left academia and went into government contracting and is almost up to where I'm at now. While she was in academia she was doing the good work and I would happily have continued to support the household if she wanted to continue. She didn't and I'm happy that she's enjoying her new work and success. My willingness to contribute everything is the same as it always has been.
There are thousands of interesting conversations happening every day behind closed doors, but some of those doors may not be as firmly closed as people would hope. These Redditors share their stories of when they heard something that was absolutely not meant for them, whether they wanted to hear it or not.
1. Rant Like Nobody’s Listening
I just got back home from spring break and I left the gate open to our driveway because my mom told me that my sister and her wife were coming to pick something up. I was sitting in the office room immediately to the left of the front door. My sister barged in angry that I had left the gate open and starting ranting to her wife.
“He is such a sorry loser that he can’t even close a gate. He is just going to stay in this tiny town and do nothing with his life! He is just going to be some dumpy middle school coach like the rest of them.” I grew up in a small Texas town that had a huge poverty problem. She said some other things to her wife while I just sat silently and didn’t move at all.
After about a minute or two, I made a loud enough noise that I know my sister heard and she gasped. She left immediately and we never spoke about it again; we barely even spoke at all after that.
2. A Dazzling Lack Of Logical Thinking
My aunt and her husband offered out of the blue to buy a house and sell it to my parents at a very low rate. My family was very excited and gracious for the help as we had been stuck in our very old and tiny house for a long time and unable to move due to the financial burden my parents had to endure because my brother and I had various medical issues.
In the following months, our grandmother paid for our family plus my aunt's to go on vacation and I was excited to take my boyfriend of five years with us. When we got there my aunt asked if I could watch her 8- and 9-year-old stepsons while she and her husband went out to see the area. Now normally it would have been fine.
But I watch kids at my job all day and it was a family vacation with lots of other adults to watch them, I said no because my boyfriend would have had to entertain himself or be roped into babysitting with me. She smiled and said, "Sure no problem." And I thought that was the end of it. I was so wrong. Several weeks after the vacation I overheard my mom on the phone.
She was talking to my grandma in a furious voice about how my aunt decided to not help us with the house because I decided to not watch HER stepchildren on vacation and that we should be more gracious to them because they were being so generous. Needless to say, we no longer speak to that aunt and my parents never blamed me for my choice.
3. Money Can’t Buy Happiness
I work nights right next to a bar. The conversation that's stuck with me the most was when someone's baby mama found them and started a one-sided shouting match outside the window. She said something along the lines of, "You've got a million dollars in your bank account and still can't take care of your kids." Saw her running and screaming at him as he got in his car and drove off.
4. Food Fight
I've overheard a lot of great stuff while riding the bus. One time I get on and there are only two other riders. They're in the back cussing at each other loudly. Both these dudes were big guys and dressed like total punks with the leather, spikes, and grungy jeans. Obviously, me being a wussy kid I'm not sitting anywhere near these two giants.
These guys seem like they're about to start swinging at each other. But a few moments in, I can start to hear what they're discussing. "Yeah! And then I put some homemade whipped cream on that thing! Mmmmmmm!" They were yelling about desserts!
5. There’s A Lot Going On
Senior year of high school, I popped into the bathroom during lunch. While in the stall, three girls come in talking loudly about who even cares what. Then one of them asks, "So how is pregnancy treating you?" A different girl answers with absolutely no change in her cheery attitude, "Oh, we lost the baby. We're gonna try again when he gets out of prison."
First girl at least sounds a little sad when she adds, "That sucks, but I totally get why you're doing this. If your mom won't let you be together..." Finish up my business and walk out of the stall to see two freshmen and a sophomore who should be a junior...
6. A Quick A Wit As Ever
I was in a thrift store a few days ago, and there were these two older men in there, talking very loudly. One picked something up and kind of yelped and the other guy goes, “You must’ve looked in a mirror.” Old people roasting each other is some of the funniest stuff ever.
7. You’re Wrong If You Do, You’re Wrong If You Don’t
I speak French and when I was about 18, I was walking on the sidewalk near an outdoor pool. A bunch of teens about my age were walking on the sidewalk towards me, all in bikinis. Not wanting to be rude I passed them without checking them out or anything. Then as I passed and kept walking, I heard one say in French, “He didn’t even look at me!”
Then the others consoled her and confirmed that she was hot enough to be checked out. They went so far as to say that I was being a jerk and maybe I didn’t think her beauty should be acknowledged. I was just flabbergasted.
8. What Happens In Vegas… Makes Others Sad
One time when I was in Las Vegas, I woke up and overheard my dad begging my mom to let him buy a working girl. I could hear the pain and hurt in my mother’s voice. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.
9. A Multilingual City
I was eating in a restaurant in Amsterdam and was speaking English with the waiter. There were two women sitting next to my table speaking in German about basically everyone that came into the restaurant. I knew that the waiter spoke German so after about 30 mins of the German women's nonsense, I spoke in my best German to the waiter.
I told him that I found it wonderful that there are so many languages spoken in Holland and that everyone here is always so kind. These two women turned to look at me with the same beet-red faces. Priceless!
10. Lose The Man, Keep The Mess
When my first marriage ended, I had depression and struggled with motivation to do anything really. My house wasn't dirty, but it was untidy. I went away overnight for work and my parents were feeding my cats, I had a cat cam set up and I logged on while my parents were there and heard my dad saying, “I don't blame him for leaving her, look at the state of this place.”
My husband was terrible and cheated on me constantly for our whole 10-year relationship, but it was me leaving a couple of shoeboxes around that tipped him over the edge…
11. Good Thing She’s Got Harry
This lady sitting behind me was just tearing her dude apart while on the phone with a friend. The two lines I remember were, "He's fine, but he's got no ambition," and "I don't even let him touch me. I've got Harry for that. God, if he didn't make good money, I'd leave him."
12. That’s A Lot To Keep Hidden
I accidentally overheard my parents discussing whether to tell me and my four siblings that my dad had three children from a relationship he started at 16 over 40 years ago. My parents told us all together the next day. They only told us because the eldest of the three was sick and needed help.
13. We All Make Choices In Life, Some Are Better Than Others
When I was a teen, I overheard two women chatting at the supermarket. One told the other that she and her husband recently installed a surveillance camera in their 14-year-old daughter’s room and that the time would soon come where she would have to confess to her daughter. And do you want to know the worst part? She spoke about the confession like she didn’t do anything wrong and it was an inconvenience.
14. I Hope They Have Insurance
I was about 15 and waiting to be seen by my eye doctor. I think I got there early and was in the waiting room. There was no one else in there. However, I heard two doctors behind the wall talking about some patient and whether to offer a surgery. Essentially, they said the patient didn't need the surgery but they could make a decent sum of money, so they should encourage the patient to go through with it.
15. 3 Minute Wonder
The guy above my old apartment was a single dude. We barely spoke, but that's basically the one thing I knew about him. He'd occasionally have a new girl over, and I could hear him boinkin' whatever girl he brought over. I'm not trying to talk smack about the guy with this, but he and whatever chick would go at it maybe three minutes tops.
One night, he had a new girl over. I could hear mainly her, but after maybe thirty seconds—sudden silence, followed by this chick bursting into laughter. I heard her leave maybe five minutes afterward.
16. There Is A Right And A Wrong Way To Do Things
I wasn't exactly eavesdropping, because she knew I was there. Honestly, that makes it even more messed up: One night when I was about 11, I was doing my homework at the dinner table while my mother was on the phone with her best friend, and she just casually dropped the news that she was divorcing my dad. We had a cordless phone too.
It's not like she couldn't have left the room to have that conversation somewhere her fairly young, completely unsuspecting child wouldn't hear it?
17. You Get What You Pay For
I had just secured a place for my family to live with an old college friend and their family. My partner and I helped a lot around the house trying to make it sanitary and did the dishes on the regular. It became obvious we were just picking up after them at this point and they were not helping one bit. My friend mentioned to their mother-in-law that they felt bad.
She thought it was wrong that we were constantly picking up after them, to which she replied, "Well they are guests here, they should be pulling their weight, they're freeloaders if not." My friend agreed. Mind you, we were paying rent and allowing them to buy food off of our stamps since things were tight for everyone.
We stopped cleaning up after them, and told them we needed the money for our own food. The house was trashed in less than a week.
18. Maybe Walk Down The Street Next Time
My ex thought I was sleeping. She went out on the back patio which was under my master bedroom window that was open. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but overheard her talking to her friend about how they were both seducing an old man for money and pills.
19. Rules To Live By
At a 21st birthday party, a friend and I were having a smoke break. We heard two people leaving the party and talking in quite a distressed manner. One guy says to the other, “Mate, no matter how you’ve had to drink, never try and kiss your mate's mum.” I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder.
20. Not Something To Brag About
I was on a bus once and I heard two guys sitting on the seat next to me. I was dozing off, but just woke up to hear one of the most messed up things I have ever heard. So, this guy was just telling the other guy how his mother and his brother used his father's retirement money to build a house and kicked him out later mercilessly.
He was smiling the whole time. He even showed the other guy a video in which his father was being interviewed by a local news channel to request people donate some money. I don't know how bad his father was to them, but that seemed pretty cruel.
21. Best Laid Plans
My mom and I overheard her sister-in-law planning to get the mafia to take out her husband for insurance money when they were drinking in a bar. She sobered up immediately and went and told my dad about it. He got his brother to change his insurance after some convincing. The wife left him when he told her he got his insurance changed.
Apparently, she's had several families in her past that she'd left. They were going to run him off a cliff on his motorcycle ride home from work he took every night.
22. The Realities Of Farm Life
This story is told from my point of view, witnessing a stranger eavesdrop on my mom's phone conversation. We have a family farm with animals who do what animals do and make more animals. My mom and I were at a Kinko's when she received a call from our groundskeeper. Her end of the call definitely sounded a bit wild.
My mom said, "Hey, what's up? She finally had her baby? Great how's it look? …Didn't make it huh, are you sure? …That's too bad. Ok, I guess just put the body in a garbage bag and toss it in the dumpster." I'm watching this poor random customer listening in on the conversation. The growing horror on her face as the conversation went on was hilarious.
It culminated in her dropping her shopping items and hustling out of the store just as my mom hangs up the phone. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Mom, not so much.
23. Not A Great Start To The Day
One day I'm in the office handing something in from my teacher. A school bus had never turned up to take these kids to school so they all had to get rides. I'm talking 25 kids chilling in the office getting marked late. Each kid that walks in is getting told off by these nasty rude receptionists about being irresponsible and not getting on their bus.
All the kids pretty much take the scolding. After they all leave, the receptionists laugh and say, "Oops, apparently there was no bus. Oh well it will keep them on their toes," and thought it was the funniest thing ever.
24. A Unique Turn Of Phrase
Sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant when my friends and I hear a college-aged woman complaining to her cohorts about how awful her boyfriend was. He gave her a ring, but it's not a promise ring, nor an engagement ring! How dare he?! "It's emotional waterboarding! It's totally emotional waterboarding!" She kept going on and on.
But always came back to his actions being "emotional waterboarding! Emotional waterboarding!" It struck us as completely ridiculous and hilarious, and we've been overusing that particular phrasing ever since.
25. And They Never Spoke Again
I heard my sister hooking up at a party. I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose, I heard it by accident. I was at a big high school house party and I was with my buddies. I walked away for a minute and on that walk, I heard noises coming from a bathroom, I listened for a second because I didn’t know what noises they were.
But I then realized they were moaning and...other stuff. I quickly walked back to my friends and said nothing until I looked over and saw my sister leaving that bathroom. I never told anyone I know and will take it to my grave. One of my worst memories.
26. Be Careful What You Wish For
At an airport, I hear a husband and wife arguing. Long story short she is angry because he had been begging her for years to have relations with another woman. And she finally did. She really enjoyed it and can’t believe he is upset. His side of the story. He then said, “Yes it has been a huge fantasy of mine, but I didn’t expect you to sleep with my sister at a family reunion after I passed out. Now my entire family knows.”
The best part was that they were at the airport traveling with the sister and other family members. He continued, “Now I have to sit over here with you, and on the plane with them for the next three hours knowing that they all know you slept with my sister.”
27. Say Cheese!
In my last apartment, I walked into my bedroom late at night, and saw a small but very bright red light in the ceiling directly over my bed, I instinctively said out loud, "What the heck is that?" The lady upstairs gasped and a male voice asked, “What's wrong?” She answers with, "OMG, it's my fiber optic cable for my camera into his room. I forgot to cover it up!!"
I thought it over, and rather than going through a long legal fight and a lawsuit, and certain criminal charges for the lady who lived above me, I put into motion a full-bore push to find a new, more secure place to live.
28. As Useless As A Million Dollars
Not really eavesdropping but reading a text. During the summer, I would babysit for my sister while her husband plays video games all day…and I mean All. Day. Nonstop. One day, I was trying to deal with the kids and they were too much for me (mind you, they’re three kids under the age of 5) so I left the kids with him and stepped out of the room to go have a frustration cry.
A few hours later, when he went to work and my sister got back from work, I was doing something on my phone and my sister was next to me texting him. The kids were all in bed by this time so it was relatively calm. I glanced at my sister’s phone and I what saw made me want to scream: It was a message from him saying that I was completely useless (in terms of babysitting).
This man sits on his behind all day while a teenager basically steps up and takes care of his kids. But apparently, I’m the useless one? Makes sense, right?
29. Rough Day
It wasn't intentional eavesdropping. I was in a conference room at work reviewing some scripts for a video coming up. And we start hearing some crying and talking in the next conference room. Apparently, they were letting someone go because she kept showing up to work intoxicated and they had warned her before.
30. All In The Family
I accidentally found out that a friend of mine got his aunt pregnant. I heard him ask someone over the phone, "Are you sure? I mean, Mom is going to be upset if she finds out. No, no, no, I'll go with you. For real, we can't see each other again? Wait, no, we can just go away...together, you know. No this it's not wrong. I love you. Please don't." When I asked about it, he told me the truth.
31. Not The Worst Thing To Overhear
I worked in a call center as one of the people who monitors calls for quality. I saw my boyfriend at the time was making a call so I tapped into the call. He was calling his dad to tell him he was going to propose to me in Cancun the following month. I felt like garbage that I heard it. Almost 22 years later I’ve never told him.
32. An Image Is Worth A Thousand Words
Not exactly eavesdropping, but I was walking behind a well-dressed man in an airport, he had a single rose in his right hand. Hair gelled, nice blazer. I was behind him thinking it looked like a nice gesture for a romantic partner. Then, without missing a step or turning his head, he raised his arm and dropped the rose into the trash as he passed a bin.
It occurred to me that I was exiting the airport and he was too. I have always wondered what happened.
33. To Each Their Own
As a teenager, my parents and I stopped for dinner on our way to our family cottage in northern Michigan. We overheard two elderly women at the table next to us discussing the life events of their grandchildren. One says to the other in a proud manner, "Well, Alice is doing great for herself, she found her life's calling with the carnival. She gets to travel and see the country."
I wish I could've taken a picture of my parents' faces in that moment; they were trying so hard not to break composure.
34. But It’s Part Of The United States
When out at dinner, two people, I'm guessing in their early twenties, were talking to each other about taking a trip to Hawaii. One said it was expensive to fly there. The other suggested they just drive a car. They seriously both thought this was a good idea. My mother was trying not to laugh to loudly but when she looked at my face, she lost her composure.
35. Don’t Judge Without Context
One time, a lady was listening in on me. My best friend and I both bought lab puppies from the same breeder. I got a black lab and she got a yellow lab. Well, I’m telling friends about our new puppies while waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant. I say, “Yes we adopted sisters! They have the same father but different mothers.”
“The father was black and my little girl took after her dad, she is so black, literally her lips, nose everything is black. My best friend’s little girl is so light she’s almost white. I guess she took after the mother.” Then I see the look of horror from a random woman listening to my conversation. Of course, from that point on I laid it on thick never once mentioning “dog” or “puppy,” only “adopted girls.”
36. What Were They Doing At College?
I once went to a nearby university campus to do some work, I work remotely most days so I can do it from anywhere. Two college girls seated right behind me in the student center were comparing old photos. I don't want to talk negatively about these two girls but they were not studying engineering or medicine at the school if you know what I mean. I was treated to the most bonkers conversation I think I have ever heard.
I think about these two dumdums all the time and it makes me laugh. These are some of the things I heard them say: "That thing is big, is that a donkey (it was a dog)?" and, "What were you even doing in that outfit, was your mom trying to make you a pizza guy?"
37. Use Your Powers For Good
At a music festival, I overheard (and saw) a few people just ripping apart their car looking for their keys, throwing things all over, and getting in a big fight amongst themselves. We went to our car to take a quick nap. I mention to my friend, “I bet these idiots don’t know they left the keys in the glove box or something.”
We wake up a few hours later, go see some music, go back to our spot and THEY ARE STILL LOOKING. Upon us walking up we hear, “Oh my god, they were in the glove box this whole entire time.” …I guess I should have said something?
38. Poor Ron
I applied for a promotion where I worked. It was between me and another guy. My experience was stronger and I'd been there longer. On the other side of my wall cubicle, two people from HR were talking and one said, "So I guess Ron didn't get the job.” And the other said, "Yeah, don't know why he even applied, didn't have a chance, what a joke.” I am Ron.
39. The Circle Of Life
I was pregnant and my water broke so I went and sat on the toilet while my husband made phone calls and did responsible about-to-be-a-new-parent things. While basically being stuck on the toilet gushing amniotic fluid, I can hear our neighbor, who we shared a wall with, turn on their shower. I then hear not one but two voices.
They proceeded to have very loud relations while I was sitting there not even three feet from them, separated by what must have been the thinnest wall, while I was in the beginning stages of labor. I literally can’t wait to tell my son this story one day.
40. What Is It?
So, we (me and my now husband) were leaving a youth hostel and there was this guy at the counter talking to the receptionist who was carefully explaining that there is a reason why they take a credit card number upon booking. At which point the guy loudly says, "But it’s everywhere! All over the bed, side table everywhere. Just give me some cleaning products and I'll clean it up.”
At this the receptionist replies, “Sorry but the mattress will have to be replaced, using the card details.” I didn’t stick around to find out whatever it was and I’m very okay with never knowing.
41. Not A Great First Experience
I was at a restaurant, and there was a group of four women. One of them was talking about how bi-curious she was and was trying to convince the other women to go to a hotel with her to experiment and how their boyfriends don't need to know. The other three were clearly uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off, but the one trying to convince them was really pushing it.
I don't know how close that group was before, but I have a feeling she made it weird!
42. That’s A Terrible Plan
A 72-year-old man was fired for not being able to produce the required 10 units per day. Later in the day, I hear the production manager who fired him laughing while telling another employee, “HR wanted me to have a plan to help him improve. There was no plan.” The replacement has been on the job for seven months and struggles to produce even a third of what the 72-year-old man did.
43. Next Time, Try A Pinata
I got invited to the same birthday party by the same girl every year for several years. I only knew a few people but everybody was nice to me. One year, I even met a girl who was super into me, which never happens. That should have been a red flag, but I was popular enough to think that sooner or later I’d be able to land a pretty girl. I spoke to her that night, but she didn’t answer when I called to set up a date later.
I shrugged it off, these things happen. The following year, I overheard the party host and some friends talking around the corner, “We’re going to tell Paul (Me) that you like him, then you’re going to pretend to like him all night but then never speak to him again. He thinks we’re his friend. It will be so, so funny.”
I did not reciprocate when the pretty girl hit on me, saying I had a girlfriend. Her retort was, “Who would date a loser like you?” It turns out this was a game they played every year.
44. One Benefit Of A Large Family
I was standing in an elevator with a couple of other people at a hotel in San Francisco when a guy gets on talking on the phone. As the elevator starts moving, he says, "God, Donna's family breeds like rabbits, so there should be somebody that's a match for his blood type." He looks around him, realizes that people are either struggling to keep a straight face or outright laughing.
His face goes red and he gets off at the next floor. I wrote his statement down as soon as I got the chance and still have the note in my phone.
45. Believe What I Say, Not How I Say It
I teach English in Japan, and the majority of my students had no idea that I knew Japanese. A girl came up to me and asked in Japanese, "Sensei, can you speak Japanese?" And I replied in Japanese, "No.” She then skipped back to two of her friends and said, "See? He can't speak Japanese!" And one of her friends said, "Then how did he answer your question?"
46. Ignorance Is Bliss
While wiping tables at Starbucks, I heard a guy propose to this very attractive woman. The moment was so tense that even I was sweating then after a few seconds of hems and haws, the girl replied, "I love you so much, but I can’t." The guy then asked, "And why is that?" I think everyone listening that day flinched the moment he asked.
The next few words that would come out of the woman's mouth not only scarred the man but also made me hate this woman who I just saw for the first time. She said, "I've been seeing Dave behind your back."
47. So Many Questions
I was a cashier in a gift shop at the time, and these two old women came in, they were reading inspirational quotes off a wall near my cash register. One said, “Oh! I love that, that reminds me of Harold.” The other replied, “Oh! it does, doesn’t it? Things just haven’t been the same since that awful lawnmower accident.”
48. A Life’s Story, Heard Through The Grapevine
My neighbor is a wicked successful realtor and the nicest lady in the neighborhood. She always gave us popsicles, let us play with her dog, hosted movie nights in her yard. But she got in with the wrong crowd. And as bad choices do, it took her life from lavish to destitute real quick. Though she kept it pretty under wraps, pretty soon I couldn't help but notice something disturbing: Her two-year-old son was no longer around.
One day, mind you this is like a Tuesday on a school night, she comes to our door looking rough, hair a mess, holding her dog Charlie by the collar. I hadn’t seen her up close in a long time since her issues started, as she no longer gave us popsicles or hosted parties. I didn’t even recognize her. She immediately asked for my dad, which was weird, but I ran and got him.
He took her to our patio out back to calm her down, and we were watching Charlie. Me, being 14 and nosy, snuck to my room which overlooked the patio and quietly slid my window open. She was telling my dad how they were “partying” and her boyfriend took too much, passed out, and then woke up not knowing where he was and who she was.
The boyfriend had snapped and struck her. My dad walked her back home and proceeded to talk to the guy. My brother and I snuck down through the bushes as we were worried he would hurt our dad after hearing what she just described. Back in the day, my dad partied, so he knew how to talk this guy down. We could hear him saying, “Hey man, let’s all calm down.”
“This is Tracy, you know her. She’s your girl. You’ve been partying, it’s all good. There’s more inside.” The guy had a tiki torch as a weapon, and clearly there was no getting through to him. He looked at my dad, dead-eyed, pupils black as night, and said, “I’m going to eat you.” We saw my dad back away with Tracy to run back to our house.
We sprinted back through the street to get before him. Turns out the boyfriend was also her dealer and the one who got her hooked. A couple months later SWAT was at our door, asking permission to enter the backyard so they’d have a clear shot of her back door. I heard the SWAT guy say “ready to execute” once he had his shot. Thankfully they busted the guy without lethal force.
49. Was Jesus In Mean Girls?
A woman’s adult son was talking to his mom while walking around Target. His mom said something about not being a fan of Jesus (the biblical one). Her son said, “Why don’t you like him? Did he write something mean in your yearbook?” And I have never laughed so hard at a random one-liner in my entire life.
50. Always Be Nice To The Staff
I managed a theater for years and we had all types of rich entitled jerks come in. So, one night this guy comes in with a super-hot lady on his arm. Buys popcorn, a drink, and pays with a $100 because he is rude. And they go inside to get a seat. About 10 minutes later he comes running out and his phone is ringing.
He answers the phone and goes, "Hello? Oh, hey sweetie. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office late with some meetings. Kiss the kids goodnight and I'll see you when I get home.” One of my employees has the great idea to scream, "SIR YOUR LADY FRIEND FORGOT HER POPCORN!" Right as he is getting off the phone.
A lot has been written about birth order among siblings and how it affects personality.
Not that everyone agrees on the effects.
Some say the oldest is the family rebel, while others say they're the ultimate conformist and rule follower.
Others assign those roles to the middle child.
But pretty much everyone agrees the youngest child is spoiled.
So does that mean an only child takes all those dynamics to form their personality?
The folks of Reddit sure has some thoughts on the matter.
Reddit user imlovegina asked:
"What is a dead giveaway that someone is an only child?"
Trust
"I told my boyfriend to close his eyes and open his mouth (I was surprising him with candy) and he just did it with no suspicion at all."
"People with siblings can’t trust like that."
- cowsofoblivion
Limited Pop Culture
"I’m an only child. One huge difference I see time and time again with those who have siblings—they had much more exposure to a longer timespan of media/music/games growing up. My idea of nostalgia consists of my specific timeline of media growing up, but those with siblings were able to watch tv shows their older brother watched, or knows about that game their little sister played."
- DopeYeti
"Yeah, the media you get is what your parents get for you. So PS2 was my only console since I requested one for my birthday and that's really it. Bigger families might have older siblings have older consoles, media, movies etc."
- Top_Lengthy
No "I'm Going to the Bathroom"
"I heard once only children are less likely to announce where they are going when they leave a room. Right away I realised I do that, but my partner who grew up with 2 sisters tells me where he’s about to go when he moves, even if it’s to the bathroom."
- NucularOrchid
"Now that im in my 30s I’ve trained myself to say where I’m going when I leave a room but it STILL feels so awkward when I do it."
"I also distinctly remember being confused in my first few relationships when people told me they were going to the restroom (okay?) and irritated when I would get up to go and they’d ask me where I’m going (like, we’re in a 1 b/r apartment and I’m not walking out the door, there are only so many options.)"
Anger is Fleeting
"My bf is an only child and it was his confusion at how I can be mad at my sister (who is also my roommate) one minute and turn around and get ice cream or go see a movie together."
He grew up with a bunch of cousins around his age, but it was the quick turnaround of 'I’m so mad at you' to 'I wanna hang out, let’s do something.'"
- sister-christian69
"Hypothesis: I think we don’t have practice of dealing with conflict. I had an argument with someone a few years back and I fully expected it to be awkward between us when we saw each other the next day, but she (not an only child) started chatting with me like everything was fine. I was taken aback and thought this would have lasted for much longer."
- RaspberryTurtle987
My Food is Mine
"My husband HATES sharing food! He is also very good at keeping himself entertained and busy- this was very evident during Covid when I was soooo bored and lost because all my previous hobbies and pastimes were outside the home and/or social activities, however, he just kept going and picked up so many new little hobbies that were independent"
- badjmsbe
"I have a brother and I hate sharing food as well. Some people say that having siblings can teach you to share things but, if anything, having a brother made me extra selfish."
- reforged-demon-blade
"I don’t hate sharing food…but I order food for me + me later fully expecting what I ordered to be there and my gf usually takes some. Drives me insane lol, and she knows if f**ks with my ADHD bc I will stare at the fridge thinking wait, when did I eat that?! Her after wondering what Im looking for: Sorry babe, I ate it."
- huhteeee
Siblings ≠ Friends
"Thinking friendship is like having siblings. It's not. I would never smash a toy on my friend's head and expect them to speak to me after."
- Useful_Jello2910
"I wouldn’t have teamed up with my best friends against their parents or refused to listen to their parents… but me and my sister? Like a two-man army in us vs. our parents battle"
- aw-f*ck
"Yep. Whenever my siblings and I would unionize, we were unstoppable."
- KitchenSwillForPigs
Not Expecting Snack Theft
"From personal experience, food habits. Like buying snacks to store at home and fully expecting them to not have been touched when you’re gone, or eating slower at the dinner table because you’re not fighting over the good food."
"As a teen, on the rare occasion my dad would steal a snack I got for myself I’d freak out, whereas my friends with siblings just resigned themselves to the fate of snacks inevitably disappearing. My mom eats super fast at meals, and she attributes it largely to growing up with siblings."
- HornedTwiddle
"I think this is why I get so peeved when my 14 year old eats all of something I specifically bought because I wanted it. I’ll share with him, but he’s a garbage disposal and will pound an entire bag/box/pack of something in no time, and I get so annoyed. My husband thinks I’m ridiculous but I never had to share or worry about someone else eating my things growing up haha"
- pizzainertia
Doesn't Automatically Shield Face
"No tales of sibling violence"
- ButterEmails54
"Doesn't flinch when someone makes a fist quickly"
- islandsimian
"Yesssss my boyfriend doesn't understand (not that he makes fist at me!!! Just that I flinch a lot.). Also don't throw things at me expecting me to catch it - my instinct is to shield my face."
- Bacon_Bitz
"Oh my god yes. Youngest child here, I also have twelve older cousins, and the amount of things I got thrown at me when I was too little to catch them."
- Dependent_Shower_584
Good At Self Entertaining
"Pretty good at keeping ourselves entertained or doing things alone/being independent."
- stefeezy
"And I find that most of us need alone time. I can be pretty sociable but it can get overwhelming quick. I need alone time every day or my stress levels rise to a point where I can't handle it. Even in a relationship, if we spend all day home, I must be able to do my thing while he does his thing. This has caused me issues in the past, as if I didn't care to be around my partner."
- thinksotoo
"Yup, this is one of the main ones. We are not lonely either, we enjoy our solitude (at least I do)"
- AlwaysSunnyDragRace
Better With Adults
"I can't tell for adults, but when it's one of my kids' friends, the kid who ends up trying to hang out with the adults and gets overwhelmed by being in a group of kids has been an only child 100% of the time in my experience."
- ifnotmewh0
"Yes! I teach middle school, and I can usually spot the only kids by seeing which students gravitate towards chatting with me rather than their peers during downtime. They seem more comfortable and confident just hanging out with the older person in the room."
- catsandcabsav
"I was one of these kids. I knew the adults didn't want me around. I had to choose between two uncomfortable situations, and I could handle being in the way more than the chaos with the other kids."
- needhelpweverything
Less Lonely
"From my own experience, not being as prone to loneliness. The only time I really feel lonely is when I'm around people I'd rather not be with."
- DeathSpiral321
"You can very quickly detect when you don’t fit in or are a third wheel too. Kind of sucks but it means you don’t waste your time with people either."
- Grimvold
"Exactly. My GF and I are only children. We both need a few nights a week on our own which is why we don’t live together. Even when we’re together we can sit quietly doing our own thing for considerable periods of time until we have something important to discuss."
- bjb13
Make Their Own Decisions
"I am an only child… I’ve noticed I tend to make a lot of life choices on my own and don’t seek out a lot of advice or ask for help when I could definitely use it. In fact, I’ve been pretty deep in tough situations when I finally have the realization that there are people and resources I can utilize. It’s not so much I’m worried about asking for help, more like it doesn’t even register in my brain that there is help outside of myself."
- Jaded_Syrup2454
"The inherent guilt of troubling people and asking for help."
- Lycan_Trophy
"I feel called out lol. Only child and this is such a common complaint I receive from my friends and partners, them saying I should ask for help for often. My logic is, well I have to learn it alone anyway. Their logic is, you don't have to right now."
"It's not something I can just turn off ... but I'm working on it. Some times. When I feel safe being vulnerable lol"
- MoodyBootyBoots
Choose Relationships Carefully
"They are very deliberate in their chosen relationships, e.g. friendships, partners, and are usually extremely independent, at least in my experience."
- ffffffffck
"As an only child I have to agree with the deliberation in my relationships."
"I've never used the term "friend" lightly like many people seem to. I see people all the time call others friends when they don't know much about the person and are just friendLY with them. I don't consider someone a friend until we've grown closer and I feel I can genuinely trust them and we can go to each other for help"
- Skeletor118
Quiet Roommates
"They’re very quiet roommates in my experience. Sometimes don’t even know when they’re home. I hypothesize that they’re just used to quiet spaces and might feel uncomfortable when their surroundings get loud or chaotic. People with siblings are used to other people clanging around and making noise."
- IcyConsideration4714
"Yeah I'm an only child of a single mom and spend enormous amounts of time home alone as a child. Can confirm, I'm extremely quiet."
- Yak-F*cker-5000
Unique Parent Relationships
"Really unique relationships with parents. They usually have a very rigid idea and perception their parents. For example, I have to call my mom every day or else she’ll worry, or my dad is always right about _____. I guess when you have siblings there’s more diversity in how you perceive your parents and their actions. But with only children they seem to lack that holistic perspective."
- ninaw11
"My ex was was exactly like the first example! She'd call her mom every morning and would talk a lot every day. It was pretty wholesome to me."
- RaimiKu
"This specifically. I live in a different continent than my parents and we talk every single day. They still ask for my opinion on every decision we take as a family and that has been my family dynamics as long as I can remember."
What trends have you noticed among the only-children you know?
Confidentiality and extreme secrecy are both expected of people bound to non-disclosure agreements. Thankfully, NDAs tend to expire eventually. From celebrity gossip to company information, draw back the curtain and follow along as these Redditors reveal the juiciest details about everything they were never meant to say.
1. When A Cavity Becomes Code 5
When I was a kid, I visited the dentist for a cavity. While there, the dentist slipped while drilling my tooth and drilled a hole under my tongue. My mom saw me tense up, and my dentist said, “Oh, nicked her there a bit so you might see a little blood.” I got home and after an hour, my entire neck was swollen up like a frog and my voice was squeaky because of the air pressure.
A pocket of air was pressing against my heart...dirty air, at that, because of the bacteria in my mouth. I was admitted to the hospital as a “code 4,” with a “code 5” being dead. When my mom tried to sue the dentist for damages, the unbelievable happened. He claimed I was kicking and screaming and “out of control” during the appointment, even getting his secretary to vouch for him and testify.
My mom’s lawyer was super pessimistic and told her just to settle and sign an NDA because she had a “small chance” of winning. So my mom settled, being naive and scared to take on an office full of liars. She could never disclose who the dentist was, and we’ve heard other horror stories throughout the years about this dentist messing up other people's mouths.
It sucks because every lawyer we’ve talked to after the fact says we had a very strong case and it’s likely we would have won. Like really won.
2. Fixing The Film Numbers
I used to work for a company that tracked ticket sales for theaters across the United States. By contractual agreement with Hollywood studios, we collected information for approximately 80% of theaters, but we were not allowed to collect that last 20%. Why? You may have heard of Hollywood accounting. Hollywood studios work very, very hard to ensure their accounting is as beneficial to the studios as possible.
This comes as no surprise; all businesses do this. But Hollywood has unusually high amounts of money in very narrow products, creating a distorted market. And the industry is rife with films grossing obscene amounts of money but not reporting a profit. Because our company couldn't collect that last 20% of theater data, it wasn't possible to absolutely say that a movie made X number of dollars.
So, I can't prove it, but...On Friday, June 21, 2002, the movies Minority Report and Lilo and Stitch were both released to great fanfare. Minority Report's opening weekend was reported at $35,677,125 (27.0% of total gross). Lilo and Stitch's opening weekend was reported as $35,260,212 (24.2% of total gross). This is a lie.
Lilo and Stitch earned more money than Minority Report on its opening weekend. 20th Century Fox couldn't have a Tom Cruise feature film being beaten by a cartoon. So someone at 20th Century Fox called Disney and offered a deal. Since the full amount of money earned couldn't be proven, Fox would announce that Minority Report was the top earner for the weekend.
In exchange...we never knew what the exchange was. We simply knew that Minority Report was reported as the top earner and Disney received some benefit for not saying anything.
3. Settling For What’s Fair
Over 20 years ago, I took part in a pre-trial hearing. A nearby dam was being sued by the family of a dam worker. The family was suing for an undisclosed amount to cover medical expenses, pain and suffering, and negligence of maintenance of the facility. Here’s what happened: the dam had received multiple complaints about lack of maintenance.
This particular dam was a working dam but hadn’t been maintained in several decades. Before the incident, an engineer had written a report saying the maintenance supports for the walkways above the boilers needed to be completely closed until replaced. This was not done. A maintenance worker went onto the walkway above the boilers.
The walkway failed and the worker was plunged into boiling water, completely submerging him. His co-workers were able to retrieve him in under 30 seconds. But that wasn't even the worst part. This worker spent the next nine months in the ICU before dying of infection. His body suffered 99.9% third-degree burns. We awarded, in the pre-trial hearing, $1 million per second the man was boiled.
Additionally, all medical expenses were to be paid and the remaining possible wages earned paid in full, including full medical and dental to the family for the next 35 years.
4. Feedback For Some Films
I used to work for Disney. They only used Disney employees for the test screenings of Marvel movies so I got to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and an early version of Doctor Strange that needed a lot of work. When we were giving feedback to the moderator, the writers were sitting in the back with their heads in their hands looking very defeated.
It was a confusing mess, but they fleshed out the characters more so it was better by the time it was released. Oh, and here's a gruesome little tidbit: They used to kill a lot of ducks with pyro at Disney World when they did the illuminations show at Epcot. Shhhhh.
5. Revealing Celebrity Secrets
I was Guy Fieri's body person for six months. The whole experience threw me for a loop. This involved a lot of personal assistantship: booking travel by air, Ubers in a pinch, and confirming what the advance teams did before Guy gets there. Most of my job was to handle his personal life when he was "on the job." I had to sign three NDAs, but I'm only sharing what happened on the show.
Guy gave me the impression he really didn't like what he did. Every morning, he would say, "More of this again," even on our so-called "buffer days" when we had an extra day before or after shooting and we had much of the day to ourselves. After three weeks of working with him, I figured out that Red Bulls are his binky.
He's got some crazy ADHD, so the caffeine really didn't phase him. When he would get stressed out, he'd rage up a little, but then he'd completely shut down. A Red Bull just...made him calm again. Guy does not remember anything he says. People walk up to him and joke about "flavortown" and he'd look at me after the fact and ask "What's flavortown?" I had to remind him that he came up with that.
My favorite was someone who went on a cruise...apparently, Carnival Cruise Lines has Guy's restaurants. This fan loved the "Donkey Sauce" that he put on his burgers. The dude simply didn't remember he did that. I had access to his computer and I saw recipe drafts for D-Sauce. There were scores of events similar to this, every. single. time. Guy would have no idea.
It sort of floors me that this guy influences so many people and he doesn't really care. He doesn't hate his fans, but he thinks interacting with people is a hassle. He legit doesn't understand why he's a celebrity, which boggles my mind how much effort he puts into his shtick. That one British chef who lied about cooking for the Queen has more cognizance about his fame than Guy.
On a personal note, his family is full of sweethearts and I went above and beyond a few times to help them out. That’s all I want to say about his family. They're really nice people.
6. Something’s Not Right Here
I was part of the beta testing for the DC Universe online. I remember a few missions that were voiced probably just by developers before they hired the voice actors to do it. I wish I had saved footage of it, but there was one where Supergirl was clearly voiced by a man doing a high-pitched falsetto voice. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
7. No License, No Racing
Tesla has failed six attempts to get its cars licensed for racing by the FIA. I can't say anything past that, but if you feel like checking the registry, you'll find they're still not licensed. I didn't enjoy the battery melting under me when we pushed the car to the limits. Nor did I enjoy the threat of a lawsuit if I didn't change my report. Tesla sucks.
It's a real shame though because I love electric cars. They're 100% the future of motorsports and I really wish there were more batteries capable of emptying at the rate needed without breaking.
8. Fake Drama, Reality Television
I signed an NDA for a prominent American show where they take a certain type of business on the brink of failure and "transform it" to save the business. When the producers of the show found out my wife and I both worked there, they tried to fish through our relationship for TV drama. When they found out we have a solid relationship, they made the most baffling request.
They tried to convince us to fake our drama with scripted conflict. Long story short, we got fed up and quit during shooting. We were cut from the show. Oh well.
9. Statistics, Software, and Skynet
Netflix has created a group of AI that will essentially be like the Skynet of streaming media. It can predict, with crazy accuracy, what you’ll click on based on, not only your previous views and clicks, but the time of year it is in your location, the weather going on outside your window, and the kinds of movies you like to watch when it’s raining or snowing.
It figures out your holidays celebrated, your favorite colors, typefaces, and genres. This leads to the marketing AI. They have created an AI-driven software that creates movie posters and promotional art for a film or show that appears to be whatever genre they want. For instance, it’ll create artwork for an action movie that makes the movie look like a rom-com if you’re into rom-coms and not action movies.
It’s literally an automated super smart photoshop-like computer just for film/tv artwork.
10. Work Culture Under Wraps
Adogo is a doggy daycare in Minnesota that made me sign an NDA for two years saying I was not allowed to talk about the company. The reason? Absolutely horrifying. They treated the workers and dogs really terribly. There was no care for how many dogs were packed into a room, which is both unsafe for the dogs and the dog attendant.
Often I’d be alone in a small room with up to 25+ dogs, most of who only had the most minor behavioral tests done to see if they would play well in daycare. The owner also tried to get around not paying my worker’s comp when I did get injured on the job. Whenever anybody put in their two weeks after realizing what a toxic work environment it was, which was often, he would punish them with scheduling them all week or make them open to close 12 hours for all their shifts.
If you’re in Minnesota and looking for a reputable dog daycare: STAY AWAY FROM ADOGO. If in the Twin Cities I would recommend Dog Days, not perfect, but they actually seem to care.
11. Revealing Red Carpet Instructions
I’m not sure if I’m no longer bound or not, or how common knowledge it is, but living in NYC I was paid to be a fan at a major red carpet movie premiere for a popular film franchise. 100% of the people there were paid to act excited as famous actors and a very famous director walked out and said hello and did interviews. We were under strict instructions not to let anyone know we were hired.
12. Always Buy Tons Of Donuts
The self-checkouts at the grocery stores work based on weight. It reads in the barcode what a product should weigh and throws up errors when you go to bag it if the weight isn’t within a certain range. This is great for most items, and this is why you have to have bakery items and produce on the scale before you bag it.
Knowing this, you can weigh any item as something else that’s cheaper if you have overworked people not paying attention to what you are doing. Just make sure to keep the barcode from being scanned. $20 hair care product? Ring it as a donut. Pack of steaks? Ring it as a donut. But believe it or not, there's an even darker side to these self-checkouts...
Some Walmart stores in “low theft areas” don’t even have the bagging scales turned on, while some in more “ethnically diverse” areas have the sensitivity set so high that if you put your grocery list in the bags it will throw errors.
13. A Peace Treaty Of Sorts
Coca-Cola and Pepsi regularly settle disputes behind closed doors on things like employees trying to quit and join the competitor. Their employment contracts have entire clauses stating you cannot be employed by the competing companies even after you quit so as to protect company intel and confidentiality. For example, a Coca-Cola employee feels like he is being mistreated by the company, and so he quits and tries to work for Pepsi.
Then, Pepsi’s team of lawyers will inform Coca-Cola as soon as they find out and Coca-Cola will sue the guy for breach of contract. In return, Pepsi will pay them. This is done so Pepsi and Coca-Cola don't sue each other for bankruptcy for breach of laws regarding industrial competition and market regulations. It’s basically a peace treaty of sorts.
14. Too Good At His Job
Some tech companies don’t want their products to be better. I started working for a parking technology company as their IT PM. Our installs improved drastically by using my work background to design, document, deploy, rinse, repeat…plus I was a slave so I worked 70 hours a week. Then, when I expected the boss to be happy, he gave me the most shocking response: “Don’t make it work too well. We make money on service too.”
Since my methods were implemented, service decreased, which I thought was good and would drive in more sales. In the end, I was just working myself to the bone for someone without gratitude.
15. Habitat Visit Gone Wrong
Paul Allen was sitting around his house one day and happened to watch a segment of a nature documentary on pygmy seahorses. His assistants picked up on his glimmer of interest and organized an excursion on his yacht to go visit the habitat of these animals. They brought along a marine biologist to provide more information.
On the yacht, each member of the small party that was actually getting in the water to view the seahorses were equipped with a sea scooter. They found the animals, the marine biologist gave his talk, and it was a very successful outing. As they turn to leave the area, Paul takes a wide turn on the sea scooter and just mows down a big chunk of the habitat, which definitely contained many of the little animals.
Apparently, he was oblivious or didn’t care. The marine biologist was absolutely livid. Back on the yacht, the crew had to go to great lengths to calm the biologist down and somehow get them to sign the NDA.
16. Finally Touching The Untouchable
My NDA is still in effect, but I've covered my liability. A few years ago, with a previous insurance company I worked for, we fired an employee who had a nasty personality. Imagine a toxic gamer working in a call center, and that would be this guy. He had been the son or grandson of one of the board members, so he was practically untouchable.
When his relative on the board got voted out, it was finally time for this guy to be fired. His supervisor took him to a conference room to let him know he was fired and he was escorted from the building by security. As the HR manager, I was tasked with clearing his desk and separating his property from company property. That was when I found a heavily used notepad on his desk that had a list of names.
Next to each name was a mailing address and details about how this ex-employee planned to harm these people. I did some digging and found they were all current or former clients of the company and that they all had filed complaints against this monster. It was a hit list. I notified the board after I notified a few officers. The guy was incarcerated on unrelated drug and assault charges.
The prosecutor now had to consider charging this guy for his hit list. Since she couldn't convince a judge there was a strong enough case, the prosecutor decided to impanel a grand jury. Since I was the individual who found the notepad, I was subpoenaed to confirm its provenance. Considering any other employee could have walked by and deposited this list on this guy’s desk, the grand jury decided to not move ahead to a trial.
For the other charges, the former employee was sentenced to 16 years in prison. As a witness, I wasn't issued a gag order regarding the grand jury investigation. However, my work did order me to sign an NDA to "protect the clients who were on that hit list" but it was really just to cover up that they were in any danger.
I signed and then quit as soon as I got a job offer from another company. Those guys on the board cared more about their profit margin and public image than they did about people's lives.
17. Beagles In Braces
When I was a veterinary technician before I was a veterinarian, I worked in a lab that mostly tested animal medication on animals. It was things like flea products, heartworm meds, etc. We had one product in testing for human medication though, which was an injection that supposedly was going to shorten the need to wear retainers after having braces.
Of course, to test that, we needed animals that had worn braces long enough to replicate the changes that happen to human mouths that have had braces. What I'm getting at, was that some days, it was my job to brush the mouths of like 50 beagles that all had braces and make sure the wires and brackets were in place and not causing any trauma to the lips or gingiva.
The image of dozens of goofy little dogs clack, clack, clacking around me in circles around the lab super excited to see me, doing their ridiculous beagle howls and flashing their braces as they did so will never leave my brain.
18. The Same, But Different
I came up with an idea for a TV show that followed a women’s basketball team through a season while employed by them and after submitting a pilot to a large production company, they colluded with the athletic department to take the name and concept but use it for the men’s basketball team instead. Their reason was utterly despicable. In their words, “No one cares about women’s basketball.”
I had equipment, people, and funding set up, and no one that knew clued us in. We found out from Twitter when the men’s team announced it with the production and distribution company. I got offered a job with them later but quit the media industry altogether and taught high school for a few years. Now, I’m back to making content.
19. Fraud On The Floor
I did some work on the trading floor at Goldman Sachs. I had access to all trading accounts and transactions. I came across some shady-looking accounts which did not meet policy as they did not use clearly identifiable names and I could not find records of creation or testing for it etc...When I asked my supervisor if I should look into this, he turned to me and said, “We don’t ask about those accounts, just ignore them. Orders from the top.”
Trading account creation is a long and detailed process that requires formal approval from multiple lines of management. These accounts circumvented all that and were basically anonymous with no trace. They were also trading high volume, and I was told to accept and ignore them.
20. They’re All The Same
I used to work in a warehouse where we made feminine hygiene products. The pads came out of one machine into several different branded boxes. They were both the nickel gas station pads and the 10 dollar-a-box pads. Also, we had one product of pads where we imported them from China, then repackaged them into our own boxes.
I didn't have a problem with that, but there was one thing I didn't agree with at all...The box had an emblem saying "made in America." It would've been ok if it said “assembled in America,” but no.
21. Worst Security And Software Ever
A certain global conferencing company still saves passwords for their web products in plain text. Any—and I mean any—employee that works there can see the password. My password there was NotMyPassYouIdiot because I knew other people would see it eventually and they'd even comment/laugh about it. Also, we once discovered that our main conferencing software was letting you sign in regardless of the password you entered.
This meant that you could sign in with any email address. Once we brought it up, we were immediately stonewalled and told not to say anything about it in written format. Basically, they had the development team and lawyers on a conference call and they decided it was best to just keep it quiet until they fixed it later that day.
No client was to be notified of the issue. The ones that knew of it were basically given a runaround until they gave up. They also added call spoofing to the software. They called it something fancier, but it was call spoofing. You could make a call and make it appear from any number you wanted. My team raised this concern many times, but were countered with, "No one will actually use it for that." Ok. That place was a gold mine of security risks.
22. Not So Reality TV
On the TV show House Hunters, where they are presented with three properties and must choose one, they've already chosen. In order to be selected to be on the show, you must already have an offer in and accepted on a property and be in closing. It's a foregone conclusion which one of the three properties they're going to be moving into. But that's not all.
If you watch the show carefully for clues you can start to figure out which one. Although they continue to fool me from time to time. Boxes are a clue. If they're viewing a house that's full of moving boxes where people are clearly packing, that's the house they've already bought. The other two properties may or may not have even been properties they considered during their search. They can simply be comps now on the market, or properties chosen for some kind of contrasting appeal.
The debates on the show are manufactured as well. That's probably less surprising. The wife that wants a yard for the kids and the husband that wants a short commute aren't actually as invested in their opposing viewpoints as they pretend to be...not that these issues don't matter to the home buyers at all. But the producers take some pre-existing issues and ask the home buyers to play them up as if they are more crucial or debatable than they really are.
That's why you often see one of the buyers suddenly give in for no apparent reason on something they had been fighting for until the last minute. This is in addition to the fact that one of the properties is already a foregone conclusion, so there's really no meat to the discussion anyway. I know all of this and I shamelessly watch House Hunters anyway.
23. Unknown Party Game Rejects
You know those Jackbox party games? They have a database full of about a hundred Jackbox games that were pitched but not used since rejected games often get featured in later party packs. Notably, one of those Jackbox games is called Poop Cake. I won’t go into detail how it works in case it does get released, but there is a rejected Jackbox game called Poop Cake that exists and is officially documented for potential future use.
24. They Staged The Show
I was a witness to the filming of a Discovery Channel reality show as it was set in the business of a family friend which we frequented every week. The filming took place over a couple of months, I think. During filming, the show had nothing to do with the actual business. They had actors staged in the audience/as buyers, they brought out fake products to “sell” at the business, they used fake names for the real employees they did include, every single word and movement and breath was scripted.
Yet, when it aired, it was touted to be an authentic reality show for this business. The idea for the show was kind of like American Pickers, but a bit different. I knew reality shows weren’t real of course, but I was genuinely shocked at just how scripted and fake the whole process is. Not a single thing that aired was genuine.
25. The Modern Pirate
Dell closed all of their in-person kiosk locations in order to get the money to fire the CEO they put in because no one bothered vetting his contract. This allowed him to adjust his own pay rate to whatever he wanted, and he could only be fired with a 40 million golden parachute bonus. So, their choice was to either come up with 40 million asap to fire him, or go completely bankrupt the very next pay period.
So yeah, Dell was almost bankrupted within a single week due to a pirate CEO.
26. Colony Collapse And A Call Centre
I used to work in a call center that had Bayer Advanced as a client. Bayer knew/knows full well that their neonicotinoid-based pesticide/gardening products harmed bees and were responsible for colony collapse. We were instructed to boldly deny and/or lie to the customer or caller if we were ever asked about it. We were also instructed to lie about the spray nozzles on the bottles.
Bayer knew they sucked and were almost always completely DOA defective, but they refused to admit it and decided it was cheaper to just keep mailing replacement nozzles.
27. They Had To Fake It To Make It
I had a friend who was on a European version of Survivor called The Robinson Expedition. So many things were rigged or played up. A lot of it was stuff like...the crew would hear that two contestants had an argument, so they had to re-enact the argument for the camera, which was awkward. And at some point, a contestant just wanted to leave the island, but you can't just say that, so they voted him out as they agreed and people had to act all shocked and be like, "This is a huge betrayal and last minute twist!"
28. A New Type Of Electric Bike
Harley Davidson is producing an all-electric motorcycle. It's called the Livewire. It sounds like a jet engine, even though it could be totally silent. It will go 120+ miles (193 km) per battery. At the time I was working on it, the battery would only last like 60ish miles (97 km) and the sound has changed once or twice since too. I want one.
29. Cheap Compressors Make A Cheap Company
GE knowingly put really bad compressors in their fridge units knowing they would fail within a year. Rather than do an extremely expensive recall, they offered to replace the units for free if someone complained, knowing that a large percentage of people would just buy a new unit. The compressor was so cheap to make they kept using it in their profile lineup.
30. New Tech Never Released
Uber was planning to make their own Google Street view for use in the app to better help drivers find riders and to map the world for driverless car technology. But, they were going to use Uber drivers to capture the images for the streetview. The plan was to mail out inexpensive GoPro-like devices that magnetically attached to the roof of the driver's cars.
Each would have SD cards that could be mailed back to Uber. Routes would be generated and the drivers could accept them in the app and get paid. This plan fell through quickly and Uber eventually sourced this data from third parties and ultimately abandoned their in-house driverless car ambitions. Also, Microsoft developed a really cool backpack-mounted camera that was going to be used for something like Google Street view.
The plan was to take it into pedestrian-only areas so you could get imagery indoors like malls and in walking spots. The United States snatched up the entire project for their own use and that product was never released or even announced to consumers.
31. No Business Sense To Be Found
I worked as a freelance 3D animator and did a lot of Kickstarter projects. Everyone had their own "million-dollar idea," and loved to blast you with NDAs to keep you from "stealing their idea." Anyways, one guy wanted to basically make a type of smart-belt that just played videos, and was convinced he was going to sell it to Gucci.
The guy was super nice, paid really well, and was a joy to work for, but had no business sense. Well, the NDAs expired, and the Kickstarter page seems to be erased from the internet. Basically, the belt was physically impossible to manufacture, but he wouldn't let me alter the design to fix it. It made for some cool shots for my demo reel though.
32. Moving Up And Out
I work for a moving company and we work with a women’s shelter often enough. Typically, women escaping from trauma will have the shelter hire us to go in and get their belongings, sometimes with the company of officers, and all the movers sign NDAs to protect the women from letting their new addresses slip.
I can’t disclose anything that interesting but I want to take the opportunity to say, those people who jump at the slightest sound, the littlest surprise, be nice to them because you don’t know whether they are just jumpy naturally or if there’s a reason they are like that now.
33. Surprise! It’s Real
Unless things have changed drastically, that popular restaurant being accused of selling "not tuna" really is actually selling tuna…and not cheap stock either. It's just masked by a boatload of mayonnaise. They actually sent out their olives for DNA testing because they were sure one of the suppliers was selling them an olive of cheaper quality. Which also makes the tuna thing make no sense to me.
I knew about specials and new things way before they ever made it into the store. We'd start testing the stock at least six months before a promotion started. In addition, shady hiring/employment practices were the norm at the restaurant, similar to what FedEx Ground was accused of in a lawsuit from about seven years ago.
34. Surviving In A Changing World
I had to sign an NDA before working with Sears. It was basically saying I wouldn't talk about the tactics they were using to survive in a changing world. That didn't age well. It was difficult to keep a straight face during orientation, but I knew they were going to be bankrupt in a few years, the writing was on the wall, but at the time I needed the job experience.
We also had to sign a non-compete agreement, which I laughed at as well, internally of course.
35. They Took His Feedback
I was a part of the focus group that saw the new Subaru Outback Wilderness edition. We gave our input and it’s funny to see some of the talking points show up in their promo material and even some suggested changes make it to the car itself like beefier tires. I’ve only had a few NDAs ever but this is probably the coolest one. I guess playtesting for Konami was kinda cool but nothing super juicy came out of it except the developers were rude.
36. How Cheap Can They Be?
Back in 2004, I worked for Kirby Vacuums selling $2000 vacuums. I was making great money cause I got them for $1200 and made a profit on anything I sold over that. My team leader got them for $800, so he made $400 off of each sale. His boss got them for $550, but since he was also the regional manager he actually got them for $350 so he made $450 off of every vacuum sold in the region.
I can only imagine how much it actually cost to make them. Once I found this out, I had a hard time selling them because I felt I was ripping people off and had to quit.
37. Same News, Different Station
Basically, every local news show in the United States, and probably elsewhere, gets marching orders from the network. Each of them is privately owned, and for the most part, they can report on whatever they want, and do whatever special segments they desire. But, some stories, particularly the major national news and important "local" news that is of national interest, say, Senate elections, or a high-profile murder that happened in your market, you get copy from the network that you are meant to have your editors or anchors translate to a script.
Most stations end up just reading it entirely or nearly verbatim from the copy sent. If you paid attention, you'd find this everywhere, basically every day. Very few people watch local news in more than one market on the same day, and the copy will be different depending on who owns the station. So while the stories may be similar, you won't get exactly the same wording on two different local stations.
38. Just What You Thought
Soundgarden's single "By Crooked Steps," off of King Animal, is going to have a music video that is directed by Dave Grohl and features a cameo by Deadmau5. I was an extra for the music video. I got to meet a bunch of super cool and interesting folks. Chris Cornell was polite but seemed distant and anxious. Deadmau5 was a goofy nerd and we got along well. Dave Grohl is exactly how you imagine him, just an absolute gem.
39. When Reality Isn’t Really Real
Naked and Afraid, and I'm assuming most 'reality' shows, had a clause in the NDA and contract that said one's image could be used in any way the production company saw fit. This included voice, image, etc...and that the audio may not match the video that was recorded at the same time. It was then that I realized how much these shows are edited down before the public ever sees them.
It had never dawned on me that they manipulated things that much. Oh...and it paid like $7k for 21 days of filming.
40. What’s In That Vault?
I had to sign a NDA for a secure shipment that came into a building I ran security at. Shipment came in at 2 am. An unmarked transit van with two guys had to verify their biometrics and give me the correct password, then they were required to deactivate the cameras on the floors along the travel routes they took inside the building and wipe the footage of them entering and leaving.
They unpacked a set of vases and trundled off to put them in a private vault. I don't know what was in them, but I've seen less security for pallets of precious metal bullion.
41. Sickness and Severance
We had an employee that was constantly calling in sick. Twice, we had to call an ambulance to work because of her heart palpitations. Her fellow employees told us that she would call them that night to go shopping, after being removed by ambulance hours earlier. There were a lot of rumors of substance use. She would show up the next day like nothing happened the day before.
There was drama about her having to pay the ambulance bills first, before our health plan would reimburse her. Her stoner boyfriend got fired from the company, which just ramped up her emotional distress and inability to show up for work. Our manager decided to cut our losses and package her out. He was finalizing her termination package, which would have included a severance payment that would have solved their short-term money problems when she quit.
I saw her a couple of years later on an airplane, I didn't tell her what she missed out on.
42. The Rich Get Richer
Google doesn’t hire direct support employees. They open small projects in the US and hire up to 250 contract employees of varying support positions for the project. Once they get the statistics needed to run everything efficiently, they have mass layoffs and outsource their jobs to a country like the Philippines or India, that’s willing to accept much less than their US counterparts.
At the same time, Google rakes in a huge tax cut because they’re ‘creating’ jobs in the local communities.
43. A Singer And Some Shoes
I signed an NDA when I worked as a fit model for Katy Perry’s shoe line. Basically, a fit model is used for their good proportions to test out the fit of garments. I’m a solid size 7.5, so hooray for being average. I was hired on two occasions and got to hang out and give her my opinion on the fit, feeling, and comfort of different shoes.
I didn’t think she’d actually be there, but both times she was present and totally running the show. She was a super nice woman in person and remembered me when we met again. Also, she apologized for making me wait so long which I thought was nice. Her dog is really cute too and I got to save it when it got stuck behind a wall panel.
44. Don’t Fall For It
I was a model for a few big-name/well-known makeup companies. I did several print ads for magazines and a few television commercials. The makeup artists do use the product advertised, but very minimally. That mascara they're touting? It's over really good fake eyelashes and they also used another brand of mascara along with the one they're trying to sell you.
Also, the clothes in the ads you see are pinned to high heaven on the model. They fit nothing like they look. It's not you. It's not your body. It's fake advertising. Most of us models look just like you wearing that, without all the pins and tucks and double-sided tape.
45. Keep The Skill To Yourself
When Chili’s first got their Awesome Blossom, there were no machines to cut the onion, so we did it by hand. I had to sign an NDA before they showed me how to do it. This was in November 1990, Fort Worth, Texas.
46. A Controlled Surprise
Cash cab gets most of its contestants through a try-out process where it pretends to be another show. Then, a producer says they will get you a cab to go to the next location which is how people get surprised.
47. Filming Was Faker Than Fake
A huge part of The Bachelorette was scripted. The company I worked for at the time was a major tourism service provider and featured prominently in one of the seasons. We were all pulled into meetings with the higher-up managers, given a speech about what was in our best interest...and told that spilling any secrets was punishable by a $5 million lawsuit.
I didn’t care at all about the show at the time and still don't. I just wanted to do my job. The "Bachelorette" herself was clearly there to further her public profile or "acting" career. The scenes were always "set up" before filming. Behind the camera, nothing was happening. The cast was told where to go, what to do, and how to do it.
If half those guys weren't on their phones texting their real girlfriends most of the time, I would be surprised. So fake...so 100% fake.
48. Your TV Knows All
If you own a Samsung TV in North America, mainly the states, and have updated the firmware since 2015...It can recognize what you watch, even if it's not a broadcast channel, provided it has a clip to match in an online database and can send this info to provide stats on what you watch. These stats can rival the usual 'ratings' for TV, in that they're amazingly accurate, and updated every few seconds. They're worth millions.
They also build up a profile of you as a viewer, and this feeds an advertising profile based on watching habits. Software on the TV can play a video over the content you watch, the idea being to replace commercials that you watch with more appropriate ones. I don't know how much of this is still being done, but when I stopped being involved because it's abhorrent, it was 18 million TVs.
It all sounds fine when you think of it as you getting more advertisements for stuff you might buy, and fewer for stuff you won't. But here's the problem: Imagine the nutcases you know seeing adverts you never see, that lie about healthcare, and vaccines, and other kinds of conspiracies, and this becomes a buy-a-presidency system.
49. They Took The Words Out Of His Mouth
My dad did some top-secret contract work for the DOD back in the 1960s, and he signed a lifelong NDA as part of that job. He's passed now so I guess it's safe to talk about it. The thing is, he never did break the NDA in any context; the strange part was that the NDA specifically prohibited him from using certain words ever again.
The trouble is, some of the words are common vocabulary and it became obvious over the years which words he did not use. Words I know he could not say, because he would find other ways of saying them instead, included ball, balloon, briefcase, and nuclear. It would have made more sense for him to just say, "There's a balloon," instead of "There's an inflatable latex object," but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Eventually, he did gradually stop avoiding those words for the most part, although he would not discuss the NDA.
50. Rats And Racks And Raisins
I found pallets of candy in the top of the racks that were behind displays and furniture in my Wal-Mart. One pallet had been the home of a mother rat and her brood. Did you know rats don't like raisins but will eat the chocolate off and leave the raisins in a pile? The Wal-Mart management decided to put the unopened bags of candy on sale in the clearance aisle, instead of disposing of the rat-infested pallet.
We've all heard of love at first sight.
Hate at first sight is less common, but it does happen (though it's not always described that way).
Sometimes, two people don't mesh well. They could never get along, even if they were the last two people on Earth, and its usually because one of them said or did something during their first interaction that rubbed the other person the complete wrong way.
Redditors know this all to well and are ready to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor dirty_maria asked:
"Have you ever listened to someone talk for less than a minute and immediately felt like you wouldn't get along with them? What did they say?"
Too Young, Too Dumb
"I heard a 20 year old girl at my job trying to talk down to another guy because he's in his 40s with no kids."
""You're 40 with no kids! What do you know about the world?" in the most hateful tone. I've never spoken to her before and never will."
– tiamat-45
"I really wish that having kids made people smarter!"
– Witty_Commentator
Not Funny
"I'm Asian and upon meeting me, for some reason a lot of people like to open up with a racist Asian joke and tell me that their Asian friend thinks the joke is hilarious. I have never ended up getting along with those people."
– prolixity
I'll Choose My Own Food, Thanks
"“I already decided what to order, and sorry not sorry if you’re offended, but we’re gonna eat what I’m ordering. You’ll thank me for it.”"
"This was a person I was meeting for the first time"
– FlagshipHuman
"That basically ruins my opinion of the person AND the food."
– Cjhwahaha
Don't Tell Me What I Love
"A friend introduced me to a stranger at a party and said we should get along great since we were both into music. The stranger was in a band and I used to work as a sound/lighting tech. He asked why I quit music and I told him I got sick of working every single weekend and making garbage pay. I enjoy shows far more as an attendant than a worker."
"He responds: "oh, you don't love music. Which is ok, it's just that if you really loved music you would have stuck it out. For me I couldn't live without music, it's just different.""
"It took about 15 seconds of conversation to realize the dude was f**king insufferable"
– skazai
From Bad To Worse
"I was on a date once and she just started negging* me from the get go. I mistakenly picked her up and had to just listen to her talk about herself, any time I’d get a word in she’d neg."
"About lost it when I was feeling a good cheese slice at the niche New York style pizza place we went to. She said I had bad taste in pizza and actually needed to start going to XYZ."
"Started talking about the beer I chose and then joked to the waitress about me. Then asked me if I wanted to move in as her roommate was moving soon and she was joking but not joking."
– UncoolSlicedBread
Liar, Liar
"She was in a writers group. The comment was made that Finnegans Wake by James Joyce is a classically difficult book to get through."
"She opened with, actually she found it very easy in fact, a friend of hers was a lecturer in (nearby famous university) and he often came to her for insights into Joyce's work."
"I suspected immediately a narcissist, pathological liar. I was right. She earned the nickname amongst the group of "11", as in, if you said you'd been to Tenerife, she would say she had been to Elevenarife."
– jrf_1973
Some People Should Not Be Teachers
"My old French teacher in I think 8th grade. It took her not even 5 minutes for us to hate her. "I dont like any of you, I'm not your friend but a teacher to annoying brats. You'll do as I say when I say it and complainers get a 6 (Equivalent to an F) for this class." Her husband was a pretty cool guy though."
– FanStrong3311
Nepotism Makes The World Go Round
"Foremans nephew/ owners son (exchangeable for anyone who uses family ties to get a promotion)"
"I'm in the union so you have to technically work your way up as a laborer no matter what because raises come fron hours worked along with courses completed."
"Anyways i was a lead on a large college campus for the State and we have this lil chubby 19 year old laborer with a bad attitude start at the site one day so i get him what he needs tool wise and tell him that material needs to be cleaned on the 9th floor using buggies. He immediately launches into this " yeah well my dad is the foreman of this job and youre just a lead so ill just go to him so i dont have to do (xyz) job""
"After staring at him until he started to get noticably uncomfortable i asked him if this was his first day doing this? He replied "yeah why?""
"I told him he can go on and get the f**k home until hes ready to be a team player. Ive worked with his dad for many years and knowing his work ethics and moral compass for leadership he would understand my decision. His son calls him down on the radio with a smirk on his face thinking that i just made the worst career move of my life."
"When his dad arrives he asks what happened, i explain curtly exactly as it happened and he immediately turns to his boy and said " well ....why the f**k are you still standing here? He told you to go home, if you dont want to listen you can't be on the team. Dad isnt going to save you""
"Last i heard he gave up his dreams of being a foreman and works for Tesla now"
– GazeOG
Woe Is She
"After Hurricane Sandy I spent a lot of weekends cleaning out houses. It is difficult and backbreaking work, but also terribly sad. Because we just bring snow shovels into houses and throw everything away. What used to be someone's home, their whole life is now stinking moldy garbage."
"I was talking to a woman at a Christmas party about how difficult Hurricane Sandy was and she said. "I don't feel like I have had enough recognition for how I suffered! I called the mayor, I called the governor, and no one cares about my suffering." So I thought I would talk to her about it."
""Was your home flooded" -No"
""Did you have a generator" -Yes, two"
""Was it really difficult to get gas for them?" -No, my husband is a first responder so we were able to jump the lines"
""It must have been hard though, to have lost power." -So hard that after 2 days I went and stayed with family at a hotel."'
"So this woman lost nothing, didn't have to wait in the hours long line for fuel and spent most of the time in a hotel. And was pissed because the governor didn't acknowledge personally her suffering."
– RoyGBiv1488
Place Items Gently On The Conveyer Belt
"I can tell almost immediately by the way a customer walks up to the register whether or not they're going to be an a**hole."
– tubular1845
"Yep. I'm a cashier too. They don't even have to speak. When they toss their items on the counter, that tells me everything I need to know. It takes everything I have some days not to toss their money right back at them. The customers that face all the barcodes up make up for those AH's."
– Relative-Read-2937
The Company Man
"I don’t like Company Men, or people who defend the company and higher ups to no end. For example, in a meeting one time an experienced Company Man starting ripping into someone who works in another department in front of everyone over a trivial thing that has no effect on Company Man."
"After the meeting I expressed an opinion that the person was being rude, condescending, an unprofessional to a couple of coworkers that were in the room. They started defending said behavior. Instantly turned me off."
"Turns out corporate agreed with me and that person has since "retired.""
– jcm8002204
Keeps Your Eyes On Your Own Table
""I believe that I have a much more developed palate than most people", said in a very condescending, loud voice at a restaurant."
"From the guy who was at the next table when I said that oysters aren't my cup of tea."
– Nearby-Ear-883
""You seem to also have a much more developed ability to stick your nose where it doesn't belong""
– thedoobalooba
Will You Carry On My Bloodline?
"I knew a lady who, upon meeting her, told me that she was related to two people who signed the Declaration of Independence, which meant she had an important bloodline that she couldn't let die out."
"I knew she was an idiot at that point, but she then went on to say that because her autistic brother died, she had to be the one to carry on the bloodline and give them her last name, and said she'd use a surrogate if her major birth defects wouldn't let her conceive, staring hard at me with a weird smile on her face."
"Yes, she lore dumped her life and wanted me to carry her hypothetical heir in the two minutes after we met."
– Ravenamore
Yikes! I can't even believe this happened!