Couples Reveal How They Overcome Awkward Obstacles In Their Relationships
[rebelmouse-image 18347564 is_animated_gif=At a baseline, bringing two people together creates an inherently different environment for the two individuals to deal with. And then jealousy can easily rear its ugly head. Love is a great equalizer, but the awkward obstacles still have to be surmounted.
So an anonymous Reddit user appropriately came with the question:
And the internet came back with good advice.
Team Players
[rebelmouse-image 18347565 is_animated_gif=I have 2 degrees and work as a lawyer. My husband never finished uni but has a job that he loves. He's a great father and husband. It doesn't really matter that I earn more than him because it's all just family money. We're both working hard and supporting each other and our kids.
Finding someone that you respect as a person is way more important than the status bullsh-t of degrees and cash. I'd take my husband over a hundred high earners. Just because he didn't get a piece of paper doesn't mean that he's not intelligent, and just because he doesn't earn as much doesn't mean he's not successful. Without his support I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am.
Just find someone who wants to be in your team. Forget keeping score.
The Shared Plan
[rebelmouse-image 18347566 is_animated_gif=I think being fair and honest with each other and taking care of which areas of the relationship you are better suited/equipped to do. The whole idea of a relationship to me is that you're better off combined than as individuals.
For example: in our relationship I work in IT and she's a teacher. I make four times what she does so we split all bills etc. by that ratio. She contributes in a meaningful but manageable way. I pay for most of the "extra" expenses (e.g. holidays) and I bought her a laptop, but she doesn't feel like a kid as she's still involved in the majority of "living expenses" expenditure (and it's not my home, it's ours).
Alternatively, she's at least 374 times smarter than I am and far better educated (bilingual with a top-tier Uni education). She makes the decisions around things like housing (her dad's an architect so she knows what's what) plus things like education for our future kids, as that's obviously an area she knows far more about than me.
The guilt of me knowing she works longer hours and is smarter but makes way less than me is a bit hard to stomach sometimes. I was lucky to fall into an industry which is in demand and has good rewards. We were both pretty poor when we met, so that helps.
Overall though, we have a shared long-term plan - the details of how we get there are less important. My success is her success, and vice versa.
Mutual Respect
[rebelmouse-image 18347567 is_animated_gif=I have a doctorate in my field and make almost 200k more than my husband yearly. He helped me get through school and pretty much raised our children on his own while I climbed up the ladder. It wasn't just my achievement, it was ours. I don't know many men that would have sacrificed as much as he did. Our marriage is strong because of mutual respect and admiration. If that doesn't exist, I don't see how the relationship can work.
Achievement Is Not A Factor
[rebelmouse-image 18347568 is_animated_gif=She has a very technical degree in a small field, and so she makes approximately twofold as much as I do. Fortunately, all that means is we, as a couple, do alright. Personal achievement isn't a defining factor in our relationship. What we do at work, what we did during school, personally, wasn't really a part of who we are. It's actually kind of weird to think that other people might view that as 'alien'.
Treat Them Like Your Equal
[rebelmouse-image 18347569 is_animated_gif=I make 2x what she makes. She refuses to let me pay her half of stuff so I'm basically just saving half of what I make because doing stuff alone is boring and I have to fit her budget. Lucky for her I love her so she is just saving for retirement by making me save. (She loves her job so I'll probably retire at 60 and do my own projects while she keeps working.)
Find Common Ground
[rebelmouse-image 18347571 is_animated_gif=I'm a cook. She's a doctor. We are both intelligent, share the same interests and love each other as people. Also, there's honestly more in common between the ER folks and Kitchen folks then I would have ever imagined. Both professions drink and smoke too much, cuss too much and generally f-cking hate people.
Complements
[rebelmouse-image 18347573 is_animated_gif=It's a partnership as much as a relationship. Love can't keep you together, but honest, kind, communication can. Part of being a partner is absorbing your partners bad days, and helping celebrate success.
My wife has a Phd. I have a high school diploma. She works for a really great job. I'm a stay at home dad. She's always out earned me (rightfully so. I'd be upset for her if I were making more in retail than she is with a phd).
I never put much thought to it. In her field she knows her sh-t inside and out, as you'd expect. But she can't cook, clean, or do yard work for sh-t. To the point I can't wrap my head around it. How you do char boiled eggs? Our talents and success are ours, but they complement each other. Even if we weren't married, we would be a good team.
Honesty it's only as hard as maintaining a happy marriage. Not that it's easy, but you use the same tools.
If you do feel resentment, you're gonna have to learn to let it go. Do that by finding out why you have resentment. Once you find out why, you may find out you can't ever change it and the opportunity you're pining for is gone forever. Gotta let it go. Whatever the problem is, you're gonna have to let it go. You can't live in resentment forever, and it'll fester and infect the rest of the relationship. Let it go.
It's A Partnership
[rebelmouse-image 18347575 is_animated_gif=I spent 30 years doing computer systems work and had some pretty high paying positions, as well as achieving a pretty high degree of personal and professional success.
My wife mostly babysat during the time our kids were growing up then had a pretty good career with the government although she never got very high, not starting till she was over 40.
She did express some jealousy on occasion at how "smart" I was and how well I was doing but I never, ever made that an issue. We're a team, she took care of the kids, I brought in the moola.
I've heard of people who think marriages are supposed to be 50/50 but that is so much bullsh-t, it's not even technically possible. Marriage is no a contest, like I said, it's a partnership, two people working toward a common goal. Sometimes you give more, something they give more, it's not worth worrying about.
We Love Each Other For More Than Our Gaps
[rebelmouse-image 18347579 is_animated_gif=We love each for other reasons than the key gap. So in the end we get past this.
Gap - she has an MSc Management - I have no degree and did not go to university.
Gap 2 - she is a lady of leisure - I work and earn a lot of money with no degree.
The only time it becomes an issue is talking about future child's education. She is adamant that we force our kid into university. I am against the forcing - if kid wants university great. If kid would rather do a private professional qualification/ apprenticeship then ok.
I am only going to stop my child from "doing nothing that could better their life".
Wife hates that, I think she sees it as a dig at her saying her degree is not worth anything. She is not from the UK so can't understand even after marrying me how a lot of people can excel in the UK without degrees.
So we either argue about it infrequently or do not talk about it. Tbh there is no point in talking about it until we have a sense of what child and their abilities they have.
Apart from that - we enjoy lots of the same things and share the same views and have the same life goals - our own home, a child, a pet, travelling to see the world a new place each year, taking care of Our families.
The Importance Of The Work
[rebelmouse-image 18345701 is_animated_gif=I have a Master's degree and make more than $80,000 in the Public Relations field.
My wife has no degrees - just a certificate from a community college and makes about $20,000 a year working part time.
But that certificate is in nursing, and she works in home hospice -- providing comfort to people as they die, helping their family members through the grieving process, etc all in the comfort of the dying person's home.
So while I make a lot more money, her work is inifinitely more important than mine is.
Always The Money
[rebelmouse-image 18347580 is_animated_gif=My wife currently makes a lot more money than me. I make some, but she does pretty well. She is also about to get her PhD and I didn't even finish college.
However, I work extremely hard at what I do, and I am getting better, and I know it will really pay off in the end. She sees that too and supports me. I support her in every other imaginable way. She is very type A and can get stressed, emotional, and overwhelmed, and sometimes just needs me to sit there and let her vent or hold her. We have become best friends, and as cliche as it may sound, we do complete each other in many ways.
On top of that, we share some things in common: we both love running, and we love our dogs to death (we met in a dog park). Good food and whiskey, lounging around reading, and hanging out with friends. I really don't know how I got such an incredibly beautiful and intelligent woman to marry me, but I will do all I can to support her and do my own thing so we can share a wonderful life.
Hard Work
[rebelmouse-image 18347581 is_animated_gif=I am 38 and my wife is 31. She has 3 graduate degrees in the STEM fields, 2 from ivy league type schools. She is now working on her 4th graduate degree in some type of computer science I do not understand. I never attended high school, and had to lie and make a fake high school transcript to get into college, where I have never completed even one full year. Mostly because I can not pass a math course which is 2 of my wife's degrees. We now have a kid, and have been married 7 years July 2017. We are very completely different people in completely different worlds.
I am not sure how we have made it work. She is somewhere on the autistic scale and I am very outgoing and social. I think we understand our own and each others limitations, and are understanding those boundaries more and more every day. She is a college professor and doing well at it, while I stay at home and play a support role. I never had a career or a future, so nothing really there to give up or miss. The best job I ever had was working construction for a low voltage company. 60+ hard hours every week with shitty pay and no benefits. Being a dad and a loving husband has given my life purpose I thought I would never have. I am pretty sure she feels and understands that she would not be able to work as hard and achieve what she has while having a family with out someone like me at her side.
Some tips; find something you both really really enjoy and force yourself to do it together on a very regular basis. For us it was video and table top gaming. We both love it, and play very differently so it makes for some interesting and heated gaming.
Use sex as a tool for bonding. Having a good line of communication is difficult for us, being so different. We have found for us that sex can be a good place for us to enjoy each other being each other. Levels of education or experience or history seems to melt away when passion rises.
The last one I can think of is listen and try and understand. Nothing makes my wife happier than when I make an effort to try and understand what shes talking about. There is also the extra bonus of over the decade or so of knowing her, I have learned quite a bit more than I thought I ever would about the STEM fields.
Now the bad. We do feel like aliens sometimes. We see things differently, and recently discovering how differently we parent. We do fight, maybe more than some. There are going to be things that will always be an issue, like having proper communication and understanding. Every relationship has to be built on compromise and hard work to make it last.
Gaps In Knowledge
[rebelmouse-image 18347080 is_animated_gif=My boyfriend is in a full time job in the type of work he studied for. I am finishing my degree, still.
It definitely becomes difficult with three major factors: Time management, money and maturity.
Time is uncomfortable because I feel like I have so much more free time than him, but then to counter that I work a part time job that takes all of my Sunday. This just needs to be organized around, and I think it's important for the person who's working full time to never assume the other is less busy just because they are not physically clocking in and out at the end of the day.
Money is self-explanatory. He makes money, I hemorrhage it out of my broke, broke pockets. For this I think there needs to be a balance of a show of self-sufficiency on my part, and a show of both generosity but also full belief I can do it "on my own" on his part. Talking openly about financial differences is good, and I personally appreciate when it's acknowledged that he lives a much less anxiety-driven life because money is not an immediate concern for him. This dynamic would change if I were to move in with him, but it would still be about willing to spend a "percentage of what we have" to make things work.
Finally, maturity. Sometimes I feel like I sound like a child when I talk to him about my university shit while he's out there actually being a person and having a job, and the only way this can be cured is understanding that your partner, well, loves you. They would not be dating you if they did not think you were a strong, capable person, especially if they are from a position with a lot more status/power/authority/what have you.
This is a valid question, and I have definitely struggled with it a lot in my own time.
Kindness Over Talent
[rebelmouse-image 18347582 is_animated_gif=My dad was a working-class genius. He didn't have any advantages in life (like the ones I have an frankly squander) but he quite literally is a hero, he overcame them and did some great things.
My mom is the most wonderful loving woman in the world, but on occasion not that bright. I don't think she ever made more than maybe 15 dollars an hour in her life slaving away in a job she hated, different kind of hero.
The difference between them was/is huge. But you wouldn't know it really, unless you got to know my dad.
Once my mom said something really stupid, and I was about the stupid age of 12 or 13 where I knew she was wrong, and I was arrogant enough to think it was cool to call her out on it. My dad heard me sort of arguing with her. He came in, asked what was going on, and then he said something like, "Bill just leave it alone." and he kissed my mom and gave me this look and a sort of head motion like "you better come with me or you're f-cked" so I did.
He told me something like, "Son, your mom is a good woman, I know she isn't the smartest woman but she's one of the best. Let her be happy. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who really loves you. Don't f-ck that up by arguing about shit that doesn't matter."
Adore
[rebelmouse-image 18347583 is_animated_gif=My husband is really really smart, and I'm not. He grew up with a very upperclass family, and I grew up under the bluest of collars and the strappiest of boots.
Over time we've had to have a lot of conversations, as I have felt insecure about my intelligence and class around his family in the past.
BUT! THEN I realized that I know how to change a tire, change our own oil, fix the lawn care equipment, clean every mess, and I'm generally a more organized person. I know how to put the work in until something is completed. So I stopped worrying so much, because my husband sure wasn't worried about it.
It's led to some stressful situations with my in-laws before, but at the end of the day, all you can say is f*** it. Plus, for some reason, my husband adores blue collar life way more.
It's give and take.
Again, Being Equals
[rebelmouse-image 18347584 is_animated_gif=I was a high school teacher and now I'm a SAHM. My husband is an environmental engineer who makes (low) six figures. When I was teaching, I brought home ~20k. We pooled all of our money and didn't differentiate. Even now when I'm not working, we have an equal amount of weekly "personal spending" money we don't have to explain or account for in our budget. I absolutely would not have agreed to stay home if my husband and I didn't share these beliefs about finances.
He values the domestic work I do as much as a monetary contribution to the household. The work I do at home during the week (cleaning, largely, but errands and cooking and so on as well) means that our evenings and weekends are straight-up leisure time for our family. When I was working, we often spent weekends playing catch-up on chores and errands (and grading!) instead of relaxing.
I'll go back to work when the baby is a few years old, but we both really value a few years of parent-controlled education and discipline in the home (vs. daycare or a relative providing child care).
Ultimately, it comes down to mutual values and a shared vision for our lifestyle, and understanding that our roles are very different and symbiotic. Moreover, though, he respects, appreciates, and admires my work as equal to his.
This Sounds Familiar
[rebelmouse-image 18347585 is_animated_gif=She is an immigrant aspiring model and I am a celebrity billionaire who is also the president of the United States of America. We don't always see eye to eye, but luckily she is always able to stay in our New York skyscraper. Also she wouldn't divorce me no matter what I did because when she looks at me she essentially sees a giant orange old gremlin standing in the way of her billions of dollars - and I'll be dead pretty soon.
It's a good system.
Make Someone Happy
[rebelmouse-image 18346617 is_animated_gif=My wife has a college degree and can speak 5 languages with actual fluency. She gets every job she applies for and tries to get.
I have no degree, speak English only with fluency, have struggled to find work. However, I'm funny, computer savvy, can open tight jars, I make her laugh and happy. It's equal because we make each other happy and i'm starting to work now and it's good pay and I'm doing very well. She just loves me for me. Not my resume.
Communication
[rebelmouse-image 18347586 is_animated_gif=My fiancé and I have lived together for a year now. We are very similar intellectually, but he's going into a scientific research field and is in grad school on his way to a PhD while I am doing my best to make it as a music teacher.
So we know finances are going to be very different in the future as it won't be practical for me to pursue a second degree for awhile. We knew this was going to happen, though, and we constantly communicate to check in about how we're feeling, if we are in need of more help, if I can do anything around the house to help with his long hours in the lab, etc.
As usual, communication is key. It's not perfect, and I'm self-conscious about my situation sometimes, but I have to consistently remind myself that a lot of the problems that I face with my career path are not my fault and I'm doing the best I can, and my fiancé is right there for me.
Amazing
[rebelmouse-image 18347587 is_animated_gif=Doesn't matter. My wife has art degree in photography and a PhD in microbiology but was making barely like $40k in acedamia. I have a HS diploma and dropped out of college. I've been doing backup and storage support for 15+ years and bring home $100k+. She's left academia and went into government contracting and is almost up to where I'm at now. While she was in academia she was doing the good work and I would happily have continued to support the household if she wanted to continue. She didn't and I'm happy that she's enjoying her new work and success. My willingness to contribute everything is the same as it always has been.
Sometimes the most outlandish ideas sound totally plausible.
In this day and age when 'Saturday Night Live' and 'The Onion' sound like credible news sources, anything is possible.
It feels like a lot of humans will believe literally anything.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.
When we were in our early twenties, most of us felt like we were officially adults, untouchable, and essentially unstoppable.
But looking back, most of us made some pretty cringy decisions when we were that age.
Redditor ALLEYWAYwithanS asked:
"What's the dumbest thing you've done in your twenties?"
Free Money
"Decided against contributing to my company's matching 401k. It cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars."
- orange_cuse
"This can't be stressed enough. If your company is matching 401k contributions, the single best thing you can do is contribute up to their match. That is an instant 100% return on your investment."
"Social Security benefits will not be enough for you to retire comfortably, and when you're over 50 it gets real tough to find work that pays more than minimum wage. Make saving a priority now. The sooner the better, because it is a cruel world for unprepared retirees."
- gishnon
Much-Needed Routines
"Everyone wants to hear about dumb stuff like driving eight hours to get with someone you liked only for it to end up being a booty call."
"However, I personally think it was my general lack of effort to build any good habits like exercise. Your body likes routines, and my routine of gaming for 15 hours a day was not one I should have cultivated."
- stormscape10x
"This is such an important one! I'm 25 and have wasted the last eight years of my life being a typical Asian young adult, focusing solely on education and career instead of doing more to take care of my fitness and mental well-being."
"My culture brainwashed me into thinking of it as a good thing to sit at my desk and study for six hours straight instead of building a good habit of eating a balanced meal and exercising every day. I'm paying for that mistake now."
- ListernerSaraf
Dental Hygiene
"Not looking after my teeth."
- pgraczer
"Second best time is now! Start taking care of them and get into the dentist, a dental school even for free cleaning and check-ups."
- Weazy-N420
"I'm still playing catchup. I let my teeth go in college and didn't get them looked at until after I finished AIT in 2020. I had them in a good spot for a while, deployment in 2022 f**ked them up again though. It's so godd**n hard to fix your teeth once they're on the downward slide."
- MonsieurLinc
"I have weak teeth, too. That's not a reason to give up, it's just a reason to absolutely lock down your routine. You'll save yourself a lot of time, money, and pain!"
"Here's what I do:"
"I only eat two times per day (intermittent fasting is not for everyone but it's great for limiting acid exposure on your teeth). And don't drink anything sugary. If you have to, do it while you're eating and not between meals."
"Swish with water and/or mouthwash immediately after meals/drinks."
"Wait 30 minutes before brushing. Your enamel is softest directly after eating so brushing too soon can be harmful."
"Get really good toothpaste with fluoride or hydroxyapatite for remineralization. Your dentist can give you a prescription high-fluoride toothpaste."
"Do your brushing routine in this order: floss, then mouthwash, then brush. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush and don't scrub too hard. Don't rinse after brushing so the fluoride can stay on your teeth and do its work."
"Get a tongue scraper and do that once in a while too."
"If you're away from home (work, friend's house, driving, etc) and don't have a toothbrush, xylitol gum is great for a quick cleaning and breath freshening. Xylitol helps kill plaque-causing bacteria because they think it's sugar."
"Might seem like a lot but it's worth it! My mouth always feels clean and I get compliments from hygienists."
- pmvegetables
Deep Burnout
"I worked way too hard and burnt out. Sacrificed family time. Sacrificed health. Need to pace yourself at the age of 20-30."
- big-bad-bird
"This is me right now. 29 and totally burned out. I refused to pace myself even with my chronic illness, I refused to address my traumas because 'I am a functional member of society so why would I seek a therapist,' and I refused to say no to things because I was afraid people would dislike me."
"Last year, I slowly started collapsing under all that. Things I repressed wouldn't stay repressed and because of nightmares, I had constant panic attacks when I got home from work and eventually bordered on agoraphobia where I would try and flee the grocery store because 'everyone can see you are feeling unwell and is judging you' and started making excuses to work from home because the office would overwhelm me."
"I really wish I started addressing stuff sooner. I tire so easily now and am constantly anxious about not being productive enough now that I'm at home. Which is super counterproductive when your body is saying, 'Yo, slow down. Please go find a nice hobby and relax.'"
- Melvarkie
Chasing Love
"Begged to be loved."
- SystemNovel7112
"I’m still in my early twenties and I feel like this is what I’ve been doing. The worst part is that other people are good at detecting desperation so they move away from you, which just hurts more."
- Jakov_Salinsky
Roommate Status
"I moved in with a girlfriend before finding out more about her preferences. We had been dating for a year but I didn’t realize how much of a problem she had sharing until we lived together."
"We lived together for five years and never shared a bedroom, had everything split down the middle, including the pantry and fridge. Even when it came to spices, she insisted on me getting my own. She hated it when I would be in the same room as her unless it was on 'her terms.'"
"Whenever I asked to make our relationship more of a shared experience, I was gaslit into believing I was wrong for not allowing boundaries. She moved out a month ago, and I couldn’t believe how quickly my mental health improved simply by not having that toxic influence around anymore."
- Char10
Sobering Up
"Fell into a debilitating drug addiction. I have 26 months sober on the fifth!"
- pumpe88
Motorcycle Insurance
"I took a $12k loan to buy a motorcycle. I didn’t want to pay for comprehensive insurance, and the bike got stolen four months later."
- toyotasquad
Mental Health Assistance
"Not getting help for my depression sooner. Spent the entire first half of my 20s in the darkest place I can imagine, and all I needed to feel better was some meds once a day."
- badgirlkayy
Lackluster Love
"I got into a half-hearted relationship and wasted three years of my life."
- plutorollsvanillaice
Receiving an Education
"Not studying properly."
"At the time, studying for two to seven years seemed like a lifetime, but now at 30, I wish I had done it. Don't have the money or flexibility to do it now."
- MarmateW
Early Alcoholism
"I drank my way through my entire 20s. After 25, it wasn't really fun anymore, but that didn't stop me. I drank for another five years."
"My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly it was just me running away from things with alcohol."
"Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are exceptionally better."
- Blackbeltchicken
#GolfCartLife
"I crashed a golf cart at 29. I was so f**ked up with road rash, both ankles were rolled and f**ked up, and one Achilles was messed up pretty bad."
"It took two years for one ankle to feel normal again. I still have a bunch of scarring. I have never f**ked myself up so badly before. The road rash and treating it all over my body was one of the most painful things I’ve ever dealt with."
"I am so careful in those things now and honestly just everything in general. I'm lucky I didn’t hit my head."
- ochief19
...But How?
"I went to Italy and forgot to eat pizza."
"I still can't believe that happened. I had pasta there, gelato, took some amazing photos, explored a lot, and when I came back, I was like, I missed something?"
"Then I was like, 'F**K! I forgot to eat pizza, IN ITALY!' LOL (laughing out loud)."
- TheStraightishGuy
An Unexpected Life
"I remember when I was that age and desperately wanting the kind of job you work for the same place your whole life. Instead, I was in a dead-end job, working the third shift, going to school, and worrying constantly about what I was going to do with my life. I was lost and without any real direction."
"20-some years later, I still don’t have many traditional accomplishments. I’m a stay-at-home dad, and I was diagnosed with Crohn's at 21/22, so that ended school."
"All the things I thought I’d need to get through life, I don’t have."
"What I DO have is a wide array of experiences. I’ve worked in retail for decades, childcare/teaching/mentoring/etc., had kids for almost as long, worked on a shrimp boat, and tree farms, I’ve seen and been around every state except for Alaska."
" I know a ton of people and I’m generally on good terms with them, I’m healthy enough to exercise every day, I have a loving family, and all our basic needs are met. I’m still directionless but I’m no longer lost."
"Anyone else out there feeing like I did, just do the best you can with what you’ve got. Never stop trying to be better, and if you need to, just point in a direction and go that way."
"If you need a degree but you don’t know what you want, just pick something you think you’ll like. Some jobs that need a college degree mean they need someone with a Bachelor's degree."
- altxatu
When we think of mistakes made in our twenties, we might think of dating mishaps and drinking or partying too much.
But the reality is that the mistakes made in our twenties are far more serious, like creating routines that help us take care of ourselves or completing tasks that will help us reach our dreams.
Fortunately, we're young in our twenties, and we have a lot of time to come back from those mistakes.
It's also never too late to commit to doing better right now.
Time and time again, people spreading lies about others for no reason has demonstrated the lack of humanity in our gossip-obsessed society.
People have nothing better to do other than to bring down others out of spite.
What's even more disappointing is that some of us have at one point played a part in perpetuating these rumors without even knowing it.
And other times, we are the subject of a rumor, and that's never fun.
Curious to hear examples of the situation, Redditor PieNo17 asked:
"What’s the worst rumor you ever heard about yourself?"
Kids can be so cruel.
Introduction To Antisemitism
"I was bullied in elementary school for being Jewish. I very much am not Jewish. Apparently there was a rumor going around school that I was a 'Jew boy.' I was utterly confused and didn’t understand why being Jewish would even be something to be bullied about."
– goobermuslim
The Racist
"Ah, I used to get bullied for being Asian....I am not Asian. Turns out it was a rumor started by a kid who was actually half Asian. I think he just didn't want to be the only Asian kid at school."
– tn00bz
Seeking Pleasure At The Buffet
"When I was in sixth grade our whole grade (~100) was on a field trip out of town. We stopped at an Old Country Buffet to eat. I had to poop while we were there, and another kid in my grade was peeking through the stall at me while I was on the toilet. He then yelled that I was pleasuring myself in the stall. This turned into everyone talking about it outside of the bathroom, and now I was the kid who m*sturbated in an Old Country Buffet."
– slob_johnson
Teacher Killer
"When I was a kid, I was in the (for lack of a better term) special ed program at school due to a muscular condition that affected my fine motor skills, which meant I got bullied mercilessly. Determined to change my rep, I worked ridiculously hard to improve my skills so I no longer needed that program in middle school. Somehow, a rumor got started that I'd been kicked out of that program because I'd tried to kill the teacher, and that became the rumor that defined me until the day I graduated high school."
– jessthefacts97
These Redditors' friends thought they'd seen a ghost.
Wreck Survivor
"I had a car wreck on a country road. Black Cow and calf in the road, and I hit both of them. My mother called into school the next day but pretty much just told them I was in a wreck and nothing else. Word got around that I was dead in a car wreck."
"Showed up at school 2 days later because car wrecks hurt and a couple of buddies actually cried when I showed up saying they thought I was dead."
– DisGruntledDraftsman
Name Mixup
"Once, at work, we came across the obituary of a former coworker. Due to the long hours we were working on this project none of us managed to go to the wake or funeral, but we sent flowers. Months later the dude turned up on another job site, very much alive. Apparently this dude that died was totally unrelated, had the same name and was also an industrial painter… we sent flowers, that must have been confusing for his family."
– trijkdguy
Different Coworker
"Similar story happened to me. Had severe covid at the very beginning of the pandemic. Was out of work for 6 months. Someone with my exact name and in the same town passed away my coworkers thought it was me. Some people didn't even know i was alive until I was back to work for three months"
– ZombieLebowski
The Friendship Test
"That I had died. I woke up one morning to find about 50 messages on my phone and dozens of missed calls (my phone was on silent). It was my ex girlfriend of all people who I spoke with first as she was freaking out because (as it turns out) someone with my name had died. It got lost in translation and next thing you know a lot of my out of state friends thought it was me. It was nice to know they cared so much."
– Yeeaaaarrrgh
Rumors about crushes, love and relationships seem to be a commonality.
Some "Friend"
"My friend introduced me to a girl at his high school and we were into each other. She was having some friends over for a sleepover and took the opportunity to invite me over, cuddle and make out while everyone else was asleep. The next morning we groggily hung out for a bit and made plans to hang out again soon. I’ll never forget how she hugged me and kissed me before I left. I ran into our mutual friend while walking home and I told him where I’d been. I didn’t know that he had a crush on her and he was pissed. By the time I got home, she had blocked and deleted me. I found out later from another friend that our mutual 'friend' had told her that I had an STD and only wanted to use her for sex."
– regnarbensin_
Friendship Destroyer
"Hey, this same thing happened to me! I moved around a lot as a kid and ended up in the same place for 7th to 12th grade. The first few people I met were some kids in the neighborhood, 1 girl and 1 guy. They weren't mutual friends, but I became good friends with both of them and ended up introducing them to each other. The girl and I would stay up late texting on old flip phones and sneak out with each other over the summer. Then, almost out of nowhere, she just stopped talking to me. Turns out the guy developed a crushed and spent literal weeks trying to convince her that all I wanted was sex. Luckily, I was able to find out and defend myself, but unluckily, I found out later that he did that with many, many people. He probably ended up ruining at least 30 friendships with people throughout my time in high school."
– LycheeTrash
A Bad Romance
"i think the only rumor that i ever really heard back in highschool was that i communed with satan. and when a few people asked, i just went with it. i was just like ya, satan and i talked last night, hes doing well. we have dinner plans for the weekend. just stupid stuff like that."
– another-redditor3
We never know how the rumor mill picks some of these out and seemingly distributes them to everyone in our community, no matter how big or small or far away. But we're glad these Redditors were willing to share!
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.