People Share Their Most Memorable 'If It Costs You Your Peace, Then It's Too Expensive' Moment
We humans are not the best at applying reason-driven cost-benefit analysis in real time. Instead, an event suddenly takes place and we're pulled deeper and deeper into an emotional response.
The consequences of that tendency can be large, and various.
Rather than assess, say, the entire context of an argument with some stranger at the DMV, sizing up whether the exchange is worth it at all, we burrow in with a voice that gets louder and fists tha clench tighter.
That can feel satisfying, even necessary in the moment. But when the dust settles and logical thinking returns--far too late to be of use--we realize what a wasted of stress and energy it was.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to share their most memorable examples of these ill-advised moments. Hopefully, reading this will help you avoid sliding into one in the future.
lizzetter asked, "'If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive.' When has that advice held true for you?"
"Ever fight over a parking spot and win, and then realize as you're walking away from the car that it will be left unattended for who knows how long?" -- DougFordSucksFightMe
"I've never understood people getting so worked up over a parking spot unless it's in the city or something like that where parking spots are rare and you may have to walk an hour to get where you need to go" -- ParkityParkPark
The Bottomless Supply of Trolls
"Winning arguments on Reddit. Nine times out of ten I just let it go, because otherwise I will literally spend all day on a pointless argument with someone who doesn't even have a face." -- Alex_Duos
"For me, it's all about the stubbornness to entertainment ratio. If I'm going to be arguing online with some other a**hole, I damn sure better be enjoying myself, or else it's just not worth it." -- Smegma_On_Demand
Sometimes Ya Just Want Something Nice
"I had a 20 year old Saturn that I intended to drive until the wheels fell off. Well even though COVID has meant I basically never leave the house, I bought a new car in 2020."
"I've put about 1500 miles on it so far, and that's it. But the thing is, even though I rarely drive it, when I DO drive it I'm no longer asking myself the question "Is today the day the wheels fall off?" every time I leave town."
"Some may argue buying a new car I've hardly driven is a stupid move. I say I'd rather be stupid and happy than smart and miserable."
Not Worth Zombification
"Work-life balance in my job. Nothing is ever on fire, nothing has to be dealt with at 11 at night or on the weekends regardless of who's sending a Slack at those times."
"I protect my evenings and weekends with a ferocity."
"My husband's family has money. When we were first starting out, we were encouraged to ask his grandparents for help, but we didn't want to. When we bought our first home, they were 'offended' that we got a mortgage from a bank instead of using 'family money.'"
"Twenty years later, we are happy in our own little bubble. We have no stake in any family drama, and we only visit when we feel like it. We don't owe anybody a damn thing, and even though it sometimes sucks to be the poor relations, the peace of mind is priceless."
LET. IT. GO.
"I used to carry around a lot of hate."
"I had a few people that I relished the idea of provoking into a fight so I could do serious harm."
"It took a while, but eventually I learned what it was doing to me, and realized that they probably didn't give me a second thought. They were getting free real estate in my head."
Two Solutions: Generosity, or Buying More Fries
"When my girlfriend swore up and down the drive thru that she wasn't hungry and didn't want anything, then snacks on my animal fries the whole way home."
"Being hangry enough to brake check the whole thing on to the floor wasn't worth the fallout. One of my ugliest moments as an adult and should have just taken the fry tax."
Like the Trolls, They'll Keep Coming
"Bad customers. I've learned over the years to turn away difficult clients/jobs. Some people won't be happy, regardless what you give them. I don't need that anxiety no more." -- 12vElectronics
"I'll have to learn to do this better. I cut a some clients a few years ago and things dramatically improved. They were talking up too much time for the reward. Others have now crept into the system though. I'll have to start a cull again. The 80/20 rule springs to mind." -- StingerMcGee
Enough Is Enough
"My relationship with my brother. I grew up with the 'blood is thicker than water' mentality, but he treated me in ways that made me feel worthless. I haven't spoken to him in about five years."
"He can think whatever he wants about me, but I don't need to hear it."
It's a Third of Your Life
"This past year I resigned from a job (one in my field) that was literally causing me to have full-blown panic attacks from stress for a job that pays less. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. No job is worth being unhappy."
"Playing a high level sport. Played baseball since I was a kid, very good at it, started to get scouted by universities and even some Pro teams."
"Eventually I got a scholarship for it to go to a school in the states (from Canada) as I got older though I realized I didn't love it, just enjoyed being good at it and seeing my parents happy."
"When I got to university it was a total struggle, I'm not one to need motivation to practice or workout but I hated my team, hated my coaching staff, didn't like the school either but kept going because I didn't want to disappoint anyone."
"Fast forward to Covid with no baseball and all this free time on my hands to pursue other passions and fun things I couldn't while always playing baseball. Now because of the pandemic I've realized there's so much more than just trying to make others happy."
Carrying More Than Your Share
"Taking care of other people/ friends mental health constantly. I didn't mind venting but I definitely let people vent to me too much and the worry kept me up at night."
"Thankfully my friends don't do it as much anymore and it's much calmer"
The Weight of Ethics
"Working jobs where the company's activities were detrimental to society, the environment, or both."
"Yeah, evil jobs may pay better, but I sleep better knowing what I do improves the world in some tiny way."
"Deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I've been downsizing quite a bit over the last few months in favour of minimalist living and I honestly feel so much better after getting rid of so much stuff."
"I've already gotten rid of close to 50% of my things and it is like a huge weight has been lifted. Why the hell did I have so much useless crap?"
Cost-Benefit Analysis, Explained
"I wanted to wear a top hat at my wedding. I like hats, and when else am I gonna wear a top hat?"
"But my wife was adamantly against it. She is about a head shorter than me, and all of my family is taller than her, and a top hat would make it even more apparent."
"So I didn't wear a top hat. Any benefit I'd get from it would have been outweighed by annoying her, and I decided it wasn't worth it."
"But there were compromises. It was my idea to get a bouncy castle in, which was a very popular addition on the day!"
"Past failed relationships. When the ex tried to reconnect after three years and a break up text that said 'We're done.' I spent so long wondering what I did wrong and it took a while to realize it wasn't my fault at all but theirs for trying to control things."
"They sent an email but the only thing I saw was the title and it just sits unread in my inbox. I don't need to reopen that past when my present and future are going great."
So What's It For?
"Home insurance and home warranty."
"I pay for a service. When I call to make a claim and use the service it is denied, 100% of the time. So then I have to spend a week arguing about why it shouldn't be denied, or why I should get my money back. Not worth it."
People Share The Subtle Red Flags That Someone Is An A**hole
Wanting to see the best in everyone is not a crime.
But sometimes it can be a hindrance.
Most of the time, it's a superpower.
But, there are less than stellar humans out there.
Redditor mountcoffee wanted everyone to discuss how we decipher the people are awful, so they asked:
"What are your minor red flags that you use see as a subtle but very indicative sign the other person is an a**hole?"
I give too many people the benefit of the doubt.
I need to discuss more red flags.
NothingAwkward Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"They are dismissive of people who can do nothing for them."
"Major red flag, and it’s easy to tell if you get them out of a professional environment."
We make mistakes
"Never saying sorry. We are people. We make mistakes. And even if we didn't mean to, our words and behavior can hurt other people's feeling. Just say sorry and move on, it's not a big deal. But if someone is refusing to do so, it is a red flag to me."
"Well, there can be layers to it. My kids struggle mightily to ever admit fault and just apologize to each other when they’ve done something wrong. They think there’s some huge shame involved and for some reason it’s tough to shake them of that. Really, it’s the easiest thing in the world to say you’re sorry and move on, and they’re only slowly getting that."
"When they’re always the victim in conflicts with friends, coworkers, etc. people who have a capacity for self-reflection and owning their mistakes tell stories where they’re a**holes. Further, they’re able to talk about what they’d do differently or what they’ve learned, and how they took steps to repair the relationships. Never being at fault, always being the victim, and not taking responsibility for repair are huge red flags."
"When they talk crap behind everyone's back but have what I like to call a sticky sweet personality to their face. I know some people like that."
"I used to be in a group chat with a bunch of people who did exactly this at least once a week,. I genuinely believe a lot of people who use said fakea** sticky sweet personalities are doing it to soften the blow if someone actually has a problem with em. Because they think 'Ooooh but they're so nice! this is just a minor blemish on a really kind person' to someone who would throw them in the car crusher because their ac was too loud."
Guys and girls... you're all a mess...
The CompanySeason 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
"What their friends are also like and how they interact with others/other people."
"The Waiter Test. The person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't nice person. This also applies to cashiers, counter help, hotel clerks, custodians, security guards and everyone else in similar positions."
"HOWEVER, don't apply the waiter test the first time you meet someone. Wait until they've been around you a few times and are comfortable in their skin around you. The first few times they are on their best behavior."
Talk to me...
"I live in Los Angeles so this happens a lot but basically whenever you talk to somebody, and it’s all about them all the time. You give your point of view or interject something about yourself and they immediately dismiss it and go back to them."
"Some people forget that a conversation is a two way street."
The Gameromantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy
"In an office environment, overly kissing all the managers a**es so they'll let them cut corners all the while calling other people out on minor things. They know how the game works."
"When they know someone is behind them, but don't hold the door open. Just let it slam. Or don't say please & thanks to service workers. I understand sometimes missing the opportunity, but when it is consistent, I have been known to say something."
Look for the signs... they are there.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.
People Reveal How They'd React If The Person They're Dating Had A Secret OnlyFans Account
OnlyFans has really become quite a phenomenon.
People have chosen to take control of the currency of their own bodies.
That is a good thing.
The performers are being paid directly.
But what does that mean for the people who know the content creators?
Can you, as a partner, accept this side of a lover?
Redditor SlightlyNaughty03 wanted to know how many of us would react when discovering a partner's saucy secrets, so they asked:
"You’re dating a girl and you really like her and then you find out she has OF… how do you react?"
I think I'd be ok with an OnlyFans past.
That's just me.
Your CheckTonight Show Yes GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
"You could've paid for dinner this whole time??"
"This guy has his priorities in order."
"Check out her page to see if she posted us having sex."
"If she did, demand a cut. 'I’m not cheap b**ch!!' As Chappelle would say. Have some dignity."
"That’s super illegal and sites like that have protections in place. Like even automatic facial recognition of (I assume just a percentage) of the content posted. You need to provide verification (consent and proof of age) for every person that is shown on your page."
"I’d personally move on. People are entitled to do what they please, of course. It’s just not for me, no hard feelings."
"Second this, moving on while respecting what they do; however my reasoning would be that if they’re actually popular on OF, then a large amount of time is spent talking, performing, and recording for those 'fans.' It takes a lot of their attention away from you as a significant other and continuous, but unintentional, neglect isn’t something many people enjoy in a relationship."
"If we are in a relationship and I love you. Then for me our bodies are sacred to our relationship. I don’t want me and you to be sexualised by other men/women. It’s our private 'place' to be vulnerable and close. Not something you sell for money... just my opinion. I respect everyone else’s too."
Be Realdomino's pizza GIF by DominosnlGiphy
"Ask her if she needs someone to play a pizza delivery guy."
I hate the pizza guy trope.
Not ReadySeason 9 Smh GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"I’m emotionally mature enough to know that I’m not emotionally mature enough to have a partner that does Only Fans."
"It's not the lewds/nudes that bother me, its the selling subs a 'girlfriend experience.' Find it very sad/creepy to chat up your subs with fake affection, I mean who are the kind of people to pay for this delusion? Probably very insecure, desperate people, some poor sap dropping thousands a year to feel some modicum of affection."
"Just feels creepy knowing this and then taking that money. I don't know how to date someone while they're 'playing house' with who knows how many delusional people."
"I actually dated a girl doing this, making very very good money, really depends on how sensitive you are to those sort of things, me personally the relationship was good and the money was good and it didn’t really bother me. Each to their own I suppose."
"Talk about it like a reasonable adult."
"Why does she have an OF? Is it as a sidegig or a main gig."
"Then what kind of content she makes, I've heard about a lot of different types, one was pretty much just cleaning in lingerie which doesn't seem bad to me, whether she'd give it up we ended up in a relationship, stuff like that."
"Once we've figured out the details, I'd make a decision."
"I'm a bi woman fwiw. It'd be a no for me. I wouldn't like a partner interacting with other people sexually in this context or fake-romantically. That isn't an unreasonable boundary imo. I'd worry about whatever issues her career might entail re: burnout on sex and emotional intimacy, crazy subscribers, doxxing, etc."
"Platforms like OF have a lot of ethical issues with trafficking, CSA, insufficient verifications, etc. again, so it's not something I'd feel comfortable in supporting. I don't believe in making sex into a commodity. It indicates incompatible views about sexuality, which is an important standard for me. Overall just isn't what I'm looking for in a relationship and there are plenty of fish in the sea."
Over & DoneSuper Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy
"Never again. I’ve been in 4 relationships with OF girls and they are consistently on their phones all day and night. From what I’ve learned is you need to set boundaries and dedicate time for a relationship."
It seems like these Redditors laid it out for us: discussions would be key, as well as boundaries.
People Break Down Which Countries They Think Have The Worst Cusines
All of us can appreciate an excellent meal, but our opinion of an amazing meal will vary from person to person.
Each of us are going to prefer some meals over others, including comfort meals, restaurants, and even international cuisines.
Looking for new foods to try, Redditor KPH102 asked:
"What country has the overall worst cuisine?"
"I can handle bland or bad food… but when I’m paying 5x normal prices for that same bland food… it just p**ses me off."
"Iceland was one of my favorite places I’ve ever seen. But the food situation there is brutal."
Anthony Bourdain... Not Approved
"If I Recall Correctly, Iceland was the one place Anthony Bourdain couldn't wait to leave. When a guy who made a living eating his way around the world, comes to your nation and concludes even the alcohol is disgusting, there be a lot of problems."
"Iceland: Pack A Lunch."
Kazakh Not Preferred
"The worst I experienced as a national cuisine: Kazakh. There are good restaurants there, but they are more like Uzbek, Uighur, or Dungan."
"I am not a fan of boiled meat, especially if it is horse, fermented horse milk, or dried fermented milk. There are a few dishes that are okay, but the lack of strong spices or seasoning makes this something I don't enjoy much."
"That said, I always eat it when we go to family events with my wife (from KZ!). I respect the culture, but it is not something I would ever actively choose to eat!"
Lack of Variety in Mongolia
"Given its harsh climate necessitating a largely nomadic and pastoral lifestyle, just not a lot of crops that could historically be incorporated into traditional meals. So everything is either straight-up dairy or meat, with little spices of any kind to add any flavor."
"Mongolian is definitely the worst cuisine I have ever had. It’s just fermented horse milk and boiled meat (like mutton and marmots). Vegetables don’t exist and they literally don’t season anything because they don’t have any spices at all."
"I don’t like Russian cuisine (it’s pretty mid) but Russian cuisine actually helps to improve Mongolian food at some of the trendier Mongolian restaurants (which don’t serve pure traditional Mongolian food)."
"Generally, cold places with a lack of access to spices or not much agricultural history make the worst food and Mongolia checks all those boxes. Kazakhstani food is similar, but they have more ethnic diversity so you can get some decent Georgian or Korean hyphenated foods."
"Jimmy Carr once said, 'Technically, all Australian cuisine is prison food.'"
Off to Another Country for Dinner
"The Netherlands. As soon as I could drive, we’d go to Belgium for dinner with my high school class mates."
"I had some truly terrible food in Ukraine, particularly in the Chornobyl exclusion zone workers' cafeteria, which we were kindly allowed to use when touring."
"The best food I had there was in Kyiv in an Indian restaurant!"
"Cold noodles and whatever the hell pine mushrooms are."
"I’ve actually had soju (weak liquor) made in North Korea. It tasted like a cleaner version of the watered-down vodka you can buy at gas stations where I live."
Family-Friendly Irish Dinners
"I'm Irish, I do plenty of family get-togethers centered around a big Irish table of food, I love it, I love the feeling of sentiment and history. The food is always just a wad of boiled ingredients."
"We eat it lovingly, and there's nothing wrong with it. But it's not like there's anything RIGHT with it."
"Specific cuisine, so not what food you can buy in the country, then it’s absolutely hands down Dutch food."
"Boiled potatoes, boiled vegetables, a piece of overcooked meat, and some packaged gravy is what most Dutch kids eat 5/7 days a week. The other day it’s bread for dinner (no joke) and Sunday more than likely you’re eating Fries and some other deep-fried snacks."
"It’s the most underwhelming cuisine I can think of. Granted, I have never been to Russia, North Korea, or Antarctica."
Kenya's Approach to Cooking
"Kenya. Poor refrigeration meant that meat was often cooked until extremely chewy. I lost so much weight in the six months I lived there."
Mexican Food... in Switzerland
"Pro tip: don’t get Mexican food in Switzerland."
Fajitas in Croatia
"I got Mexican food in Croatia. It came highly recommended by the South African guy running the tour we were on. It was Chevy's level at best."
"Also, I ordered Fajitas and was served a quesadilla with bell peppers in it. It was edible at least. The Australian people that were on the tour thought it was phenomenal."
"No good takeout in Antarctica."
While most of these cuisine options don't necessarily sound "bad," they do sound underwhelming and far less enjoyable to eat than our favorite foods.
People Confess Which Things They Find Attractive That No One Else Does
People have different thoughts on conventional beauty.
Those who focus on another's physical attributes may find a person's eyes stunningly beautiful. Others may be drawn to their manner of dress or how they wear their hair.
And there are those who appreciate one's inner qualities. Perhaps their affable and friendly nature makes someone more attractive.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that's a relief, because it reinforces the notion that in spite of any flaws, there is someone for everyone.
Curious to hear what strangers online go for when superficially evaluating someone, Classic_Potential_66 asked:
"What is something you find attractive that most people don't?"
Noses get the center of attention here.
Who Nose Why It's Attractive To Them
"I kinda like a prominent nose. Not like a really aquiline nose, or a big shnoz. Just, I dunno, prominent. High bridge of the nose. Dominant facial feature. Hard to explain, I just find a good nose really attractive."
Paying Compliments Is Not Weird
"I was taking the bus to work one night from my classes and there was a guy standing a couple feet away from me. I just glanced up at him cause he sort of swayed and it caught my attention (he was falling asleep lol). The first thing I noticed was his nose, and then his eyes. He just had the most perfect looking nose I've ever seen on a man, and he had the brightest green eyes. It wasn't a small nose, but it wasn't huge either, like it was perfect in every single way and pointed up cutely. It just captivated me for a moment before I remembered I was staring and looked back out the window."
"When I got to my stop I offered him my seat and I still regret not telling him he had a nice nose. I felt like that was way too weird to say. Like how weird would it be to have some girl offer you her seat and say 'by the way, you got a nice nose' and then hurry off the bus lol."
"ETA: Judging by the responses I've gotten on this I'm gonna start telling people nice things about them more often haha. Thank y'all for the courage!"
An Actor's Noted Facial Feature
"Fellow nosephile! I'm on this except I love an aquiline nose, a big schnoz, crooked nose, dominant nose. Any nose that takes center stage does it for me. I love Adrien Brody 😭."
Preference for other facial attributes were mentioned here.
“'Crows feet' - when a middle aged woman smiles, the tiny wrinkles at the corner of her eyes are a reflection of all the smiles she’s ever had. I love it. 🤷🏼♂️"
"Interesting teeth. I have a relatively straight set of natural chompers on me, but I can't stand unnaturally straight teeth. It freaks me out. On the flip side, I love all sorts of 'crooked' teeth. I think they're so unique, cute and attractive. Obviously if they cause pain or discomfort I'm not about it, but there's something just damn magnetizing about someone who confidently rocks atypical teeth."
Personality traits get the spotlight.
"Dry sense of humor. I love people who make me laugh and are nonchalant about it."
A Blessing And A Curse
"I have a dry sense of humor. I don't wish to change it, but it gets me in more trouble than good sometimes because hardly anyone gets it. I think people forget dry humor exists since everything is so exaggerated and in your face these days. I like to deliver a joke like Norm MacDonald."
"Dorkiness/awkward people. I love when people are true to themselves and geek out about things."
Nerds Are "Sexy As Hell"
"Shy slightly nerdy guys. Edit: By this I just mean that a lot of times nerdy guys are a hard nut to crack, and it’s appealing and exciting to have to dig a little to see what’s inside. Nerds are intelligent and that’s sexy as hell. I’m can only speak for myself, but when I was younger I would dismiss the shy ones, which I deeply regret. When I became older, and….seasoned….lol, I started realizing what I was missing out on and I got myself a super sexy shy nerd who I’m blissfully happy with 10 years after meeting him. Im sorry if my original comment implied nobody wanted you nerds. As you can see from the comments, there are plenty of women into you guys😘"
And what about features concerning one's physique? Reddit doesn't disappoint.
"I like women taller than me."
View From Behind
"I like a nice back. Like not the a** but the actual back."
A Defining Mark
"Scars….there is just something about them! Maybe it’s because all scars have a story behind them ."
Defined calves always get my attention.
The bulkiness and definition in the lower part of the legs represent an individual who is active, always on his feet, and is strong enough to carry me through a marathon when my legs give out just a few feet from the finish line.
I can't wait until the warmer summer months to inspire chiseled-calved gentlemen to break out in their khaki shorts for the sole purpose of distracting me.
So, what gets you hot and bothered?