Cops Reveal The Strangest Laws Their Town Requires Them To Enforce
Here in Florida, it's illegal to tie your alligator to a fire hydrant. As a general rule, we don't really keep gators as pets, so we're not sure why the law exists... but there has to have been some epic incident that started this all, right? You can't honk in a drive-thru after 9PM in Arkansas, and you're not allowed to surprise your friends with pizza in Louisiana. Weird laws are everywhere. One Reddit user asked:
Cops of Reddit, what strange or obscure laws does your town require you to enforce?
If you thought state laws were weird, it just gets worse once you start talking about smaller towns - like the one in CT that has a thing against silly string. Read more.
Aussie Potatoes
Cop in Australia. If i catch you with having more than 50kg of potatoes in your possession I WILL arrest you. Mostly because it would be hilarious.... then ill unarrest you because who really cares. Still illegal in Western Australia though.
A Family Affair
Strippers can't touch you unless you're a close relative.
The Nebraska Navy
Not a cop, but, whale fishing is illegal here... in the middle of Nebraska.
We also have a navy.
Living With Family
Actually a law enforced in my town: if more than 3 people would like to live together, two of them must be related. This is a college town, so if 5 dudes wanted to live together, at least two of them would have to be related. It's not enforced as much my private renters, but property managers and such have to follow to law.
Bugger Off
Buggery (anal sex) is illegal in my city. I believe it was used to arrest gay men, but it's still a law
No Fun!
When my friends and I were 15 we bought some cheap kites at the dollar store and decided to take them with us downtown (we live in Chicago) and fly them. We started trying to fly them by the Art Institute when we got stopped by a cop. He told us that kites were not allowed to be flown anywhere in the downtown area and if he saw us doing it again he would give us a $250 citation. It seemed kind of weird since Millennium and Grant park were both in the downtown area, but we didn't argue.
Years later I found out that it actually was an obscure law, but a law that was repealed in the 1970s. Turns out we were just fine flying our kites and that cop was just a jerk that didn't like seeing us having fun.
Park Laws
Park Ranger Law Enforcement here, I did a detail in Joshua Tree and asked about strange laws they had. I was told that possession of balloons was unlawful because tortoises like shiney things, try to eat them and die. I find Mylar balloons absolutely everywhere. I support that kind of ban!
In our park is also illegal to dig any holes.
Naked In Vermont
Am a cop in Vermont. Public nudity is legal in most cities but there's a persistent myth even among fellow officers that you can't take off your clothes in public (so essentially you'd have to walk out of your house naked.) Women are allowed to be topless in the same spaces that men are. Despite there being no basis at all for it, I've had supervisors try to insist I enforce the myth.
Silly Southington
A few towns over from me, in Southington, CT, silly string is banned completely. A group of kids sprayed an on-duty police officer with it at a town Apple Harvest Festival in the 90s. It's not allowed to be sold at all, even in party stores or hobby stores.
Tim Horton's
I'm not a cop, but my township doesn't allow drive throughs to have deep fryers. The only food based drive through in my entire township of 65,000 people is one Tim Horton's.
H/T:Reddit
War Face GIF
Giphy
Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.