Being a cashier is already slightly uncomfortable.
But watching customers purchase some odd/interesting items back to back can make it that much worse...
Reddit user wanderingherpes asked:
Here are some of the answers.
I was working at a store that sold used entertainment items (books, DVDs, that kind of thing). We also had a cabinet of porn. One night this little old lady comes up to my register with a stack of items. Now, to fully appreciate this story, please picture the sweetest most stereotypical grandma your brain can conjure. That is what this woman looked like. Her stack of items were mostly scrapbooking and crafting magazines, but shoved in the middle of the stack was a DVD called "She-Male Blowjobs 6." It was so hard not to die laughing. Senorita_Sativa
Don't Follow Me...
I recently went to Walmart to buy things for my work. While checking out I realized I had six rolls of electrical tape and 3 gallons of bleach, and nothing else because they didn't have what we needed.
I work at a karate studio, we clean with bleach and use tape as stripes for the belts, but I'm pretty sure the cashier thought I was killing someone that night... makethatnoise
There was this guy that came in everyday and bought a liter of Jack Daniels, a 2 liter bottle of coca-cola, a box of condoms, and a 10 pack of blank CD-R discs. PeanutButterOnBread
Turkey Lurkey Time
Our Shop rite gives you a free Turkey if you buy 400$ of sh*t before 11/26. So what people do is buy cartloads of crap and then return it after they get their turkey. One dude bought 400$ worth of condoms and returned them as a joke. Management wasn't too amused but the returns guy was crying with laughter when he saw the cart. skywardsword596
One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other
Not a cashier, but I was standing in line watching a guy at the cash register buy a stuffed animal, a box of crayons and a coloring book. And a bottle of lube. Lechubbybunny
I have two.
First of all, when I worked at Kmart as a cashier, I had this lovely, adorable little old couple come through my line. They were looking in each other's eyes and hugging, holding hands, just completely in love. They happily placed a larger bottle of KY jelly on the counter and a box of light bulbs, this was before we had the hologen and LED bulbs. I rang them up, thinking to myself that this was a weird order. She kept looking up at her man, smiling and giggling and he had his arm around her shoulders. I gave them their receipt and watched them leave. It was.. interesting to say the least.
The second, I had moved on to Kroger and was working in the bakery. I had a group of three guys in sport coats come in late Sunday night and hand me a frozen Oreo cake. I was trained to write on cakes at that point and i figured they just wanted Happy Birthday or something on it. No. They wanted me to put a phallic symbol (that's how they phrased it) on the cake. I asked them for ideas and we ended up puling the Oreo off the top of the cake and splitting it in half for the balls. I used chocolate icing to draw a shaft, a M&M for the tip and some Oreo crumbles for hair. I still wonder what the lady at the register thought of that cake. Kyttengyrl
When I was in high school I was a cashier at a local grocery store. I had one particularly awkward experience working there. One night just before close a man came through my line and put down two husked ears of corn, a bottle of lube, and a newspaper. Veruka
I once bought a hammer, industrial strength bin bags and rope from a discount store. The cashier looked at me like she was completely dead inside, probably from working in a discount store. KingLeonidatass
That Pesky Duct Tape
Can of tomatoes, onions, peppers, stock cubes, chicken, and condoms. No biggie right? Guy clearly had a romantic dinner planned and was hoping to get lucky? Well the duct tape alarmed me a little.
EDIT I just remembered the guy who was the absolute spitting image of Santa Claus, buying two bottles of bourbon and a four pack of caramel Wispas. I was so tempted to say "do you need a receipt for this, Mr. Claus?" Volfgang91
I worked in a mall bookstore about ten years ago. Every month, this nice middle-aged guy would come in and buy one of each of the porn magazines we sold and a single computer magazine. So, a baker's dozen of porn magazines and a computer magazine ... rubyfisch
Late to the game, but I'll add.
I worked at a store that sold those fake boobs that you'd put in your bra to make your bust bigger. They were sold in different sizes and kind of looked like uncooked chicken breasts. Anyway, I had an older guy (maybe 60) buy two sets, a size B and a size C. Okaaay. fujiko_chan
Toilet plunger, Lube, and non-slip sneakers. It was hard to look him in the eye... Jsdestroy
The Candyman Can
At a candy store: our entire stock of maple syrup (like $200 worth) and one single piece of taffy, which he tried to return. Zouea
Up All Night
I was opening one Saturday morning. The first customer of the day was a gal, probably around 50. She smelled like she was a heavy cigarette smoker, also smelled a bit like stale beer. She wanted to buy a single beer. She was looking like she might have been up all night and was waiting for the store to open to come in and get one more beer. The interesting thing is that she tried to pay for it with foreign currency. Not Canadian money or pesos, but what looked like money from an African country. I said, sorry ma'am we can't accept foreign currency for alcohol. It must have been the only money she had and was just hoping it would work somehow. coryandtrevorforever
No Not These
Condoms, then realise he didn't want them and went to put them back. Came back with rubber bands and cling film. Vods
Does This Work?
Box of donuts, box of donut holes, and glue. _ampere
Straight Up Mess
A 60+ middle class lady brought a bottle of gin, an Eton mess, ribbed condoms and a lottery ticket. (Eton mess is a traditional English dessert consisting of a mixture of strawberries or bananas, pieces of meringue, and cream, which is traditionally served at Eton College's annual cricket game against the pupils of Harrow School.) hkh25
2 litre bottle of coke, a cucumber and latex gloves....that got me thinking for a while. Blitzphoenix12
Two young men bought two $80 electronic penis strokers and two V for Vendetta masks. Not all that weird for where I work, but they said it was for a prank on a friend. Barrel_Monkeys
So, when my friends and I were 15~ years old we gifted our friend a dildo for his birthday as a joke and it cost like 5 dollars, we ordered it online so not much hassle. But then it was my birthday and he wanted to do the same thing, so he asked his dad to go and buy it at the store because he was too young, so his dad walks out of the store with a 50 dollar thing that's like a condom but it's made of silicone and supposed to make your penis feel bigger. We still don't know why he bought that thing, probably because he was too embarassed to buy a dildo. walrusgoz
For The Doggies
I used to manage a dog daycare in southern California. We went through about a dozen bottles of bleach a week, so I'd sometimes buy as much as a flat (a dozen cases) at a time, if the price were right and I had storage space available. People give you very weird looks when you buy too much bleach all at once.
I quickly learned it was best to wear my work shirt with the daycare's name and logo. When questioned, I'd just point to the dog picture and make a comment about how much of a mess dogs make. archonsengine
Twice, I've come across a guy who bought a ridiculous amount of enemas, laxatives, and ice cream. [deleted]
Going For A Jump
Condoms, bleach, and two bungee cords. _PM_ME_YOUR_NIPPLES
He bought a broomstick and a box of condoms. Fourteen year old me felt pretty uncomfortable. PloverLover
lube, duct tape, taco shells. mrsladyperson
At Least You're Honest
To be honest, my own order.
Ever since starting work at Taco Bell, I've found the potato bites are the sh*t. As are chalupas, the chicken, and pretty much everything else.
But nobody seems to grasp that if you ask for it, we'll probably make it for you. I personally always order something along the lines of a chicken quesadilla with Fritos chips, extra 3 cheese blend cheese, add nacho cheese, add bacon, add potatoes.
This has recently been made a thing through our new Boss Wraps. Which makes me happy. romannumbers96