Flat-earth for some reason is making a resurgence from the late 1400s into 2019.
We are not amused. But then, this is our reality now. We don't know what it was like a few years back.
But our elders have wisdom to share about conspiracies past. Now is the time to listen.
u/ActualGodYeebus asked:
Older folk, this generation has the "flat earth" conspiracy. What were some of the dumbest conspiracies or crazes or bandwagons going around during your time?
Here were some of the answers.
McCartney/Lavigne
GiphyOne of the Beatles (think it was Paul?) had secretly died and their album art and music were laced with hints, including messages you could hear if you played the records backwards. Some people took this quite seriously.
Weirdly enough, today, there is a very similar conspiracy theory concerning Avril Lavigne. Lavigne is a Canadian singer who was real big in the early 2000s and, according to the CT, died sometime around 2005 and was replaced by an impersonator. Depending on the version of the CT, the impersonator is either a fan or a close friend of Lavigne who looks a lot like her.
Wait, So, This ISN'T Real???
That you had a "permanent record" at school where they recorded everything you did and it would follow you your whole life. That's now the job of social media.
Holy sh*t yes! Everything in school, even in cartoons, the dreaded PERMANENT RECORD!
This Is How Conservatives Think
Satanic messages inserted into rock music. The messages could only be heard if you play the album backwards but when played normally your subconscious mind would somehow absorb these messages and that's how Satan would take over your life. There were apparently huge satan worshipping covens all over the place, kidnapping children for rituals.
Today we'd probably call it "Satangate".
The World Keep Turnin Girl
Various "the world is going to end on (this specific date)" typically predicted by a cult leader. I remember those in my childhood and teens, but don't think I've heard of any more since the Jim Jones cult mass murder/suicide. I guess that kind of a prediction these days is a good way to get yourself investigated.
Pseudo-Science Now
Before the internet there wasn't much of a bandwagon to jump on. Conspiracy theories were for weirdos and enthusiasts. But there were a lot of really idiotic rumors about celebrities, like that one about Marilyn Manson having a rib removed so he could perform autofellatio. With the advent of Internet, people began to act like experts on every f*cking thing, but back then it was mostly, "well, I heard that...". Someone might think that Elvis was still alive, but they couldn't spew out all these pseudo-scientific factoids, like they do now.
Adults Are Usually More Gullible Than Kids
Here in South Africa when I was around 8 we used to get these "tazzos" (small, plastic circular disks) with Pokémon on them in packs of chips.
They were huge collectable for us kids and we all loved them until a newspaper published a story about the devil (the ACTUAL DEVIL) coming out of a tazzo and killing a little girl.
It started massive outcry that those tazzos were satanic and demonic and a bunch of other BS.
I still don't know how every adult who read it wasn't like "this is so dumb" and ignore it.
At Least You Came To Your Senses
I worked at a club in Florida during the early 80's. They provided housing, but it was like living at the Y with shared bathrooms, etc. Everyone was pretty chill with the gay guys who worked there until one of them got hep C and thanks to all the AIDS rumours, a bunch of us kinda got freaked out. The Health Dept came in and gave us all shots, and we weren't entirely sure what was happening. I have to shamefully admit that I steered clear of him until i came to my senses
You Scared Sis
Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman and the Loch Ness Monster. There seemed to be countless specials about these guys during the '70s. Oh, and UFOs. Lots of grainy pictures of UFOs.
My brother was totally into all of these. I, on the other hand, was a paranoid little girl. Every creak, every shadow in my ancient home was attributed to aliens. When I was dragged on camping trips, I preferred to hold my bladder all night than risk encountering Bigfoot. Geographically, I was spared the Abominable Snowman and the Loch Ness Monster, but they all contributed to the myth of these strange creatures.
One of our favorite family stories is the time I slept walked early on a Saturday morning and headed downstairs to watch cartoons. Unbeknownst to me, my father had been sleeping on the sofa that night. I came down, saw a being on a sofa, and my sleep-addled mind "saw" an alien. I did what any 8-year-old would do - I screamed like a banshee and told the household there was an alien on the sofa. My brother reacted like any alien-obsessed 10-year-old - he came barreling down the steps while I was trying to run up the same steps. My father sat up wondering whether a murder was being committed in front of him. My mother probably threw up her hands and wondered how she managed to be stuck in such a crazy family.
People Are Dark AF
Around 2005 there was an advert in the UK for Frosties cereal.
There were crazy rumours going round for a couple of years that the boy in it had killed himself due to bullying because of how bad the advert was, and even crazier ones that he was actually dead to begin with - that he was CGI'd in, and that his singing had been stitched together from home clips.
Scare Tactics
GiphyWhenever a kid disappeared near my old school, every single adult would blame "an old gang that kidnapped kids for organ harvesting, then, after luring and killing the kid, they would throw the body with no organs, naked in the streets".
Whenever this happened there was always a classmate who would say: "My mom told me that this people have been kidnaping children since she was our age".
No real proof about this "gang" appeared, so i always assumed that this was fake or a parents/schools strategies to "teach" kids to don't accept candy from strangers.
We also had the "if you play this song backwards, you will listen to the real message", with songs like "Asereje", "Pulcino pio (spanish version)". Shakira having a few ribs removed from her body, because you can't move your hips the way she does *You Can't*.
Yu Gi Oh! cards being satanic or cursed, because of boobs and weird drawings.
Pokémon being... you guessed it, satanic or cursed.
And my favorite, and old curse killing government members who were involved on Simon Bolivar's body exhumation.
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4
Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphyThe Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborder
stegosaurus GIFGiphyFrom Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weasel
redhead wink GIF by KobieGiphyAt Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radius
Scream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphyBut Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimon
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphyOne thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.