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People Explain What Happened When They Confused The Items In Their Two Hands

We all like to think we've got ourselves together... that is, until we do something ridiculous, like confuse the items in their hands.

Oh, it happens. Do you want to know the number of times I've put my phone in the fridge without realizing? (Trust me, you don't.)

After Redditor DanielMichels asked the online community, "What is the worst thing you have done because you got confused by items in different hands?" people lined up to share their tales of embarrassment.


"Put a wad of tissues..."

Put a wad of tissues in the laundry basket and threw my socks into the toilet.

fairyteller

"Stuck a dog treat..."

Stuck a dog treat in my mouth and gave my dog my popsicle. She was thrilled.

obernewtyn16

"Phone in one hand..."

Phone in one hand, open Pepsi bottle in the other. Threw the wrong one on my bed.

dwest313

"To be fair..."

Was drinking a hot cup of coffee on the back porch while throwing a ball for my dog...To be fair it was like 4am and the pup wasn't hurt, but my favorite mug got rearranged and the tree got some dirty bean water....

Nomadic_Photography

"I was writing..."

Giphy

I was writing while drinking coke. I ended up stabbing myself in the face with a pencil.

garlicbreaddick2

"A couple minutes ago..."

A couple minutes ago I unwrapped a stick of gum, stuck the wrapper in my mouth, and threw the gum in the trash.

StylishSuidae

"The fridge is now..."

I have put the house phone in the fridge and left the milk out more times than is healthy.

The fridge is now the default first place I look if the phone is not on its cradle.

OldLeverMonkey

"I had a cup of coffee..."

I had a cup of coffee and a little single-serve container of coffee cream. I opened the cream container, poured its contents into the trash, and then dropped the empty container into my coffee.

CalgaryAlly

"My husband..."

My husband cleans the cat litter box and puts the gleanings in a tied off plastic grocery bag. He also puts his lunch in a tied off plastic grocery bag. When he goes to work he takes both bags outside, one to come with him and one for the trash can. Mistakes have happened.

AoiRenga

"I cracked an egg..."

I cracked an egg, poured out the egg into the trash and put the shell into a bowl.

BanjoBroseph

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or ":zipper_mouth_face:" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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