What was I thinking?
Was I even thinking?
Our pasts are haunted with regret.
When we're kids, we're still learning how to be humans.
So many of our actions are wrong or ill-conceived.
And we never know how the consequences of our choices will unfold.
But once we do know, we have to cope.
We've wronged people. Bullied. Stole.
Redditor21078wanted to hear from all the grown ups about what part of the past still haunts them. They asked:
"What’s a terrible thing you did as a child that you really feel bad about as an adult?"
Let's see what some people had to say.
Extreme
GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"Hitting a neighbor kid with a baseball bat in the head for calling my mom fat. I was 5."
subwaysurfer1116
Unpopular
"I was friends with unpopular kids growing up. To protect my own image, I didn’t defend against their bullying when I was around. They never ever seemed to mind, but my cowardice haunts me to this day."
Nintendope760
"As someone who was bullied pretty mercilessly during my school years, I can tell you they knew exactly why you didn't defend them. They wouldn't have done any different if the tables were turned. The fact that you remained friends and gave them someone to have good interactions with was better than any defense of them you could have made."
Babiesnotbeans
Hate
"Giving a hate letter in middle school to a teacher (who btw looked quite depressed) because my, at the time friend, hated him. I feel so bad about that to this day."
gxlia
"I did the same but made a voodoo doll of her and left her to find it. Makes me feel sick now that I’m an adult and what the consequences of my actions may have done to her."
__Iridocyclitis__
Why?
"Stole and destroyed a neighbors bike then just left it out in the street and denied any knowledge when their parents knocked our door having seen us taking it. Don't know why I did it. After later reflection decided never to do anything like it again and felt like a c**t."
Bucket_head
Sorry
Sorry Home Alone GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Once I tied a kid to a lamppost with a jump rope and just left. I feel bad about that every couple of months."
idrawface
Wow there are some bad kids out there. I mean... woof.
Bless me Father
church pray GIF by Matt MaesonGiphy"At a church I went to, there were stacks of the boxes that you filled with goodies and gave to children in need."
"I did not know what these were, so I opened one and took a bouncy ball out of it. About a year later when it came time to do the boxes again and I learned what they really were, I realized that I had stolen some kid's bouncy ball. I felt guilty every time I saw those boxes from that point on."
Mario_hat_with_eyes
The 60s...
"Back when I was a kid in the 60s, playground safety didn't exist. We had this aluminum slide in the communal playground that was surrounded by concrete. One day, when I was about 8 or 9, I noticed a lot of commotion at the slide. There was a boy, about two or three, who was next to slide but was refusing. There was a line of kids behind him, yelling at him to go but he just wouldn't move."
"I got tired of the yelling so I made all the kids move, climbed up to him, and tried to lift him to either slide him down or carry him down, whatever would work. He refused to let me lift him, and instead, climbed over the side of the slide so that he was hanging by his hands. It was a long drop (at least 6 to 8 feet) down to the concrete below. I tried pulling him up, but he was too heavy."
"I and all the other kids panicked and ran to the other side of the playground, leaving him to his fate. Fortunately, one of the high school boys playing football beside the playground noticed the kid dangling and jumped the playground fence and caught him when the kid finally lost his grip. The high school boy yelled at us for not helping him, and I felt a mix of anger and shame that even today I still think about sometimes."
OutsideEmotion
Oh Poop!
"When I was six (in the early 80’s for clarity) I caused a clog in the toilet from pooping that backed up somehow into the furnace room and sewage came out of the drain in the furnace room, it was a total mess and plumbers galore came and my parents were so upset (not at me just the situation) but it embarrassed me so much and I was so afraid of it happening again, until I was like 12 and old enough to realize I was being dumb about it I snuck outside at night to poop in various bushes around the house."
"Years later as an adult my parents mentioned they thought they had a homeless problem in the neighborhood at one time because they kept finding dried human feces when doing yard work. I guiltily confessed and they laughed their butt off but my Mom said she (only half-jokingly) would have killed me if she’d caught me doing it at the time."
TriscuitCracker
O. M. G!
"You might wanna brace yourself for this one..."
"When I was like 5, I was playing with one of our kittens, maybe a month or two old, unsupervised. I've repressed what I was actually doing with it, but I do remember noticing it was bleeding from the nose and was obviously being too rough. I brought it to my Mum in tears, and I'll never forget the way she yelled 'What the f**k!' in that shaky, cry-scream, voice."
"I dunno what became of it, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally killed it. I don't even have the heart to ask my Mum about it to confirm or deny it, and I still cry about it every time I think about it. I wish I could erase what I did, go back and prevent what happened, but I can't, and I'll forever live with that guilt. It's one of the primary reasons I can't bring myself to believe I'm a good person, no matter how much I've grown in the 17ish years since."
"Because if I can, at my most innocent stage of life, do something like that, can I ever wash that blood from my hands, what will I say to whatever, if anything, greets me after I die? I am so terribly sorry for what I did, and honestly, wouldn't disagree with you calling me inhuman for my actions."
nailsarefingerteeth
Poor Kid
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"I tricked a kid out of seconds at lunch. He looked so sad when he asked why I would do that. School bully came up and told me I was an a**hole because the kids parents didn't feed him. I think about that a lot and it was almost 40 years ago."
Vorpak
Struggles
"I went to push the shopping cart in the corral and tried pushing it to make it go inside... like making a goal. Instead the shopping cart turned randomly and hit a car. I ran and hid inside the car because I was scared. They came over to the car where my mom apologized and asked me to come out and say sorry but I refused because anxiety. I still struggle with anxiety issues but I can apologize when I make a mistake now that I'm grown."
Raspberry-Additional
Saturday and Sunday mornings...
"When I was 4-9 I spent a lot of Saturday and Sunday mornings as an only child trying to entertain myself while waiting for my dad to wake up. One morning I was terrorizing the cat by chasing him around the house, not giving him any time to breath. He got so scared and tired he hid behind the dryer where he stayed for almost 2 hours. My dad asked where the cat was, and I told him I didn’t know."
"I was a d**k and it wasn’t the first time I did that kind of thing, but for some reason that one made me realize what I was actually doing to that beautiful creature. I thought I was just playing with my brother. I think about it quite often and have never treated an animal that way since. It does haunt me the way I behaved towards that animal that gave nothing but love and affection."
Trails2Tomorrow
Bad Rebellion
"In my first act of teenage attitude/rebellion I mocked my father's suicide attempt from a few months earlier. I was 12 and it felt good to be mean to someone that had hurt me emotionally in such a way. That was the last time we spoke. I didn't realize he was calling to say goodbye. He tried again and succeeded that night."
righthanddan
Whoops...
scared gingerbread man GIFGiphy"Blaming my brother for pooping in the sink when it was me."
Mr_P_scientist
Big Boned
"I used to be a real brat. One of those 'gives completely unsolicited opinions because I’m just so HONEST' type a**holes. I one time in like 4th grade went up to this group of girls, singled one of them out by name, and told her, 'Gina, you’re not fat but you’re chubby.'"
"I in no way did this to be mean. It was just my complete ignorance about how since I had a thought, she needed to hear it. I had no friends. It didn’t dawn on me til years later when I eventually pulled my head out of my a** that I realized what a horrible person I used to be and didn’t know it in the slightest."
HarrisonRyeGraham
“Who told you this?”
"So back in junior high one of my classmates Chris told me that his friend Leon asked him out. Me being young and ignorant didn’t believe this to be true so I confronted Leon and asked him are you gay? Leon replied 'Who told you this?' I told him Chris did. He turned white and I didn’t see him throughout the whole day. I heard ambulances but didn’t think much of it."
"He came back a couple of days later. Told me that the rumor wasn’t true but was noticeably hostile towards me for the rest of the school year. Fast forward 5 years I then found out through mutual friends that he was actually gay and after I confronted him he went to the top of the school building intended to jump. Thank God he didn’t. Still feel bad to this day."
GumShoos
Firestarter
"An older kid in the neighborhood wanted to light a fire, and I didn't tell anyone about it but instead joined him as he did so. Then, when the fire got a lot bigger than I thought, he convinced me to lie to the cops/firemen about what had happened & I did."
"I was in elementary school and he was in middle or high school? I don't remember exactly, but in hindsight there was an element of coercion that I only recognize now, so yeah. Arson, technically. And I shoplifted from my elementary school store. They weren't even things I needed, but like, these. Especially Lucky because it reminded me of my birth stone."
loracarol
No Reason
Parks And Recreation Donna GIFGiphy"I called my sister a 'pregnant sl*t' when I was like 11 for literally no reason. She was just trying to say goodbye before going home. Still can't find a reason for why I said it."
iammisi
Sorry, Dakota...
"For our class Halloween party in 3rd grade, I dressed up as a 'pop star.' The costume’s top was slightly cropped, showing a bit of my stomach. When we were sitting at the carpet, the girl sitting next to me said, 'You’re not supposed to wear anything that shows your stomach.'”
Without even thinking, I shot back, 'Yeah, well you’re not supposed to wear the same clothes two days in a row.' As an adult, I now realize her family was likely extremely poor and wearing the same clothes two days in a row was probably not by choice. Sorry, Dakota."
EllieD0113
We all need therapy. And prayers. And confession. Oh my...
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.