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People Confess Their Biggest Fear In Starting A New Relationship

A relationship is a journey and also a foundation that people build together. A journey that often takes people through their own personal field of emotional landmines.

Those things can be really scary to navigate, as there is no telling when one can so easily explode. And fear not--explode they will.

How do we navigate a field of emotional landmines? By owning up to it.


u/paku26 asked:

Reddit, what's your biggest fear when entering a relationship?

Here were some of those answers.



Emotional Neglect

That they don't like me back, even if it is only a platonic relationship. I worry every day that my friends only hang out with me because they feel bad for me. If I don't get enough attention in a relationship then I start to panic and wonder if it's one-sided.

bixelss

A Different Kind Of Me

That they'll meet someone better than me. It's happened far too often and I don't know if I could ever not have that thought in the back of my mind.

Waniou

Dividing Day

A sharp, sudden change in demeanor or attitude toward me, making me feel like I did something wrong.

I dated someone who is type-1 bipolar and for the first few months she was so fun, was enthusiastic, caring, good natured, selfless, etc...and suddenly she became withdrawn, wouldn't look at me, wouldn't smile or have anything to say. It destroyed me because I thought it was all my fault. Now I've learned not to own it personally, but it still hurts when someone's attitude changes toward you for no discernible reason.

black_fractals

No More Interest

That the tiny things that the other person does, the weird habits which you don't understand, which seem adorable or quirky initially, might start grating on you over time.

That you'll run out of things to say one day and you will not not want to know how their day went or what they're up to.

Going out on dates will just be a formality because it is a familiar and convenient ritual, and you have adjusted to it now even though you don't care about meeting.

InnocuousCyanide

One Day, Poof

I lost my partner 2 weeks ago. He was 36. Just went to sleep and never woke up. No idea why. The post mortem results won't be ready until after Christmas.

So I'm going to go with the fear of losing them unexpectedly.

your-conscience-

Seeing Through The Fog

That they'll realise I'm not really that great once they really get to know me, or that they were bonked on the head and eventually will get their brains unscrambled and run for the hills.

I've got some unkind thoughts about myself thanks to abuse that I'm still working through, years later.

Saltwaterblood

Strong Feels

That I'll smother someone in affection and it'll turn them off from me. I've always felt emotions strongly, and sometimes I have to reign it back, but I worry that I'll fall for someone hard and they won't have the same reaction.

BaByJeZuZ012

Intimacy Fears

I worry that I've already met and lost the love of my life (which is something I didn't believe in before I met her). I worry that I'll never value any relationship enough as it will always feel like a consolation prize and that whoever I'm with will sense that and it will tear us apart. I crave intimacy like any human being but fear it will cause too much pain for everyone involved.

TellMeHowImWrong

Every Day

At first I feared growing apart. But then I learned to adapt and adjust to the changes without losing the connection with my loved one.

People tend to grow apart in relationships. Long term relationships are always under assault by people who want to take your partner away from you or vice versa.

They wait on the sidelines and will seize on any sign of weakness in your relationship. "Ignoring your wife? Well, golly gee whiz, do I have a solution for her!"

The best advice to avoid losing your partner to someone else's affection is to avoid taking them for granted.

If you want a long term relationship? Let them know you love them every day and show it in how you act toward them.

Every. Single. Day.

Captain_Moseby

To Be Vulnerable

The biggest one of all, the idea of being so comfortable with someone that you could open up and show all of the skeletons in your closet, all of the fears and doubts.

And one day, maybe not now, maybe not later, maybe never, that information could be used to hurt you in a way that could never happen by chance.

rollandfloor

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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