If only people knew the secret lives we all hide on our computers, we'd all be committed. The strange things we all store on our computer could scare the crap out of everybody. I pray that I get a heads up about my death so that people don't find things I won't be around to explain. We all have those little eccentricities buy they're just ours to know about. Ours and the technicians who stumble across our secrets because we need things fixed. I think I'm going to get a do it yourself manual. Those computer repair techs seem to have big mouths.
Redditor u/classictom wanted the techies put there to share with us by asking.... People who fix computers for a living, what is the weirdest thing you've found on someone's computer?
Gum as an accelerant?
Worked for a School District when I was younger and one of the kids put gum inside of one of the lab computers... okay not strange for high schoolers but the gum drew in so many ants that the machine lit on fire and caught a cabinet it was right next to on fire. TokenBloke
A folder filled with photos all labeled with dates just of what seemed like the same weird pigeon cross breed or something, it was the life span basically of thus bird I was absolutely stunned, I only looked through the folder cause he said he'd be ok with me factory resetting the PC, as long as I saved this one file. There were so many photos like a picture a week for like a maximum of 5-6 years, had to throw it on two of the USB's we had due to the sheer amount of photos. MemeAPhobia
Don't hit 'Start!'
I work for a managed services provider. I had to remote into a user's personal laptop one time to help her set up her VPN connection while she was on the phone with me.
She was using Windows 8, which has the live tiles on the start menu. One of them was her pictures gallery, which was cycling through nude, provocative pictures of her.
But what the hey? This is her personal computer and she's welcome to keep her nudes on there if she pleases. I did my best to pretend that I hadn't seen anything and continued about my business, avoiding the start menu when possible. APIPAMinusOneHundred
That's Looney Tunes!Giphy
A whole terabyte of porn scattered through EVERY folder of his computer and he was such a nice, unassuming old man. Apparently there is a porn star called Juggs Bunny. MenaNoN
Always have another way...
The most hilarious thing I found was when I was fixing a friend's laptop.
He had a shortcut to his desktop... on his desktop.
EDIT: Some people here are thinking it was a shortcut to the folder Desktop. It was not. It was literally a shortcut of the « Go to Desktop » feature. Meaning if you double clicked it it would just minimize everything and show you the desktop or if you were already in it re-open all windows. So pretty useless. It was a laptop so no double monitors or anything like. Had a good laugh when I saw it. Ayto7
An Acquired Taste....
It's not surprising to find porn on a PC. What is surprising is having a well-known judge turn his MacBook in for repair and finding nearly a terabyte of tentacle porn on it. jggunbeliever
Truckflix and Chill?
A semi-truck track racing website wherein the individual I was assisting was logged into a paid/premium account. I looked it up and it's something like $20 per month to access unlimited live streams of competitive semi-truck track racing.
I'm used to finding screwed up porn. That's pretty commonplace, but I've never met anyone into competitive semi-truck racing to a point where they'd pay monthly to watch it. liquorlanche
Worked at a retail store that fixes computers for a summer in college. This one guy brought in his computer for us to wipe or put an antivirus on or something. There was only one folder on his his desktop. It was named "Spank Bank." Naturally, I opened it, and it was exclusively pictures of John Deere tractors. No porn whatsoever. The dude had to have done it just to troll us. It worked. NotePayable
Less weird and more awkward.
I used to work in tech support 10 years ago. One of the help desk supervisors was amazing, always had a terrible pun to share, gave me several lifts home after a night shift, going out of his way to so and was generally an incredibly nice bloke.
I hold him responsible for the fact that the client of the company I worked for hired me out of it and I went on to be super successful in IT. He gave me that chance, told people they were wrong about me and I could go far.
Few years back, he killed himself. Leaving his non computer literate wife with all his weird tech stuff and computers. When I found out he had committed suicide I reached out to her to pass on my condolences and offer any assistance I could. She apparently knew who I was by the things he had said and took me up on the offer to take a look at his computers and merge them into one PC she could use.
So I did, before doing so, I sat down with her and went through every file and directory, asking her if she wanted it kept etc. All in all took a few days as we went through every back up he ever did.
Day 1 when directory diving I opened a folder that just had a big old picture of his penis. Cue incredible awkwardness, she asked me to delete it and we moved on. A week later I came back to finish the job and go through the last files before I merged the hardware to make her a super computer. Unfortunately I was going through back ups, and didn't recognize the directory structure and boom, there is his junk again, in full HD glory.
Miss the old dude, but I wish the image of his penis that is burnt into my retina wasn't. Septimus217
Vibrators need love too!
Many years ago now. Was copying over person's pictures to a hard drive as she requested before it was to be rebuilt. I wasn't looking at the screen but glanced over to see the progress and that's when I saw dozens of photos of this woman's vibrator. Nothing sexual. Just had it in various places.
The weirdest was seeing it in bed and covered up & tucked in with just the tip poking out on a pillow. She was embarrassed as hell, her face as red as a tomato and all I could say was "It's OK, I see weirder things all the time. This is nothing." I never told anybody at work about it. The-Jesus_Christ
This Isn't A Geico Commercial...
The weirdest thing I've found IN someones PC was a group of like 5-6 lizards that were living in the case.
Cold blooded creatures found a warm box to live in, it was going great till one of them peed on the graphics card and shorted the card, killing it and the lizard. MYSTICmayonaise
A Parting MILF....
Opposite scenario: had my laptop fixed and it came back with a folder labeled "MILF porn" that had definitely not been there before. allthesebees
Oh, that reminds me of the one time I sent my computer in. One of the problems was that it kept crashing during games, Skyrim in particular. So the guys played some Skyrim to test it out. I found a couple new Autosaves of my hand-to-hand-focused Khajit holding an axe. BLASPHEMY! Tesla__Coil
Confidence is Key!Giphy
Clients background was a picture of themselves with the quote "I believe in me." Alex-Chan
No eye contact!
Co worker with a business laptop. I had to clean everything ( wipe it ) My boss told me to take all the files and put them on a EHDD, over 100 naked selfies with his stuff out for some gay dating websites. I never looked at him in the eyes ever again. The employee was over 64 yo. He got fired the same day. He was using the laptop to go on the kind of free live webcam websites during his shift.... for years. Gross... DerAnnonymus
How did they like it cooked?
I was helping someone find a file for some reason where I work and they had a folder called "steak porn." My curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. It was filled with pictures of raw steaks. lookaround123
Was that an invitation?
I worked for a company who's CEO liked to exchange pornographic emails with his girlfriend. Great for them, however it was my job to monitor the spam filter. Every hardcore email they wanted to send had to be reviewed, approved, and released by yours truly. It was a fun morning ritual the three of us shared. stateborder
Curious or DL?
I find gay porn on "straight" guys computers more often than you'd think. Some of these guys are family and friends computers that I have fixed... I wonder if they are gay or just curious, but some guys have lots of it.
I don't care and I never say anything, but it's probably a good idea to save that stuff to a thumb drive or something.
Also, there is that one time I found a photo of my cousin giving some other guy oral. I have never told him about it, but he has to know I saw it. samisoy
Wild Computer Kingdom!
Ive found mice and a snake in my tower once. We used to live in a crappy house that was falling apart and also our town in surrounded by fields. Mice come inside for warmth, followed by snakes wanting the mice. jumpman0035
That's slightly unnerving...
Bullets (shell casings and actual bullets)... and a giant dead spider. I use to fix and re-image computers for a military contract when I first started my career and had lots of weird stuff show up but the best was a bullet riddled tower and inside a giant camel spider. Reason stated for return that it suddenly stopped working. Used the dead spider then to scare the hell out of my coworkers. Good times. TGDuckett
An Important Question....Giphy
Our local fire chiefs most recent google search was "What do herpes look like?" MayorMabe