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People Confess How They Thought Babies Were Made When They Were Little

Reddit user lLoveYourCat asked: 'How did you think babies were made when you were little?'

Person holding newborn baby
Photo by Jill Sauve on Unsplash

In the United States, it's no secret that sex education for minors is inconsistent at best.

But some people learned very unexpected stories about how babies were made, and those stories had a way of making a lasting impression.

Curious about other's stories, Redditor ILoveYourCat asked:

"How did you think babies were made when you were little?"

One Time's the Charm

​"I knew babies came from sex as a fairly young child. My parents never sugar-coated that. But for some reason, as a kid, I thought you only had to have sex once to have multiple pregnancies. I seriously didn't fix that misunderstanding until early middle school."

- Crazey1988

"At some point, when I finally accepted that you had to have sex to have a baby, I thought the only time people have sex was to make a baby, and it only took one time to get the job done."

"Then when I figured out teenagers were having sex, I thought you had to be married and have sex to make a baby, but then when my unmarried cousin got pregnant, I was just confused."

"But I was sure my parents only had sex four times, and then when my mom got pregnant with number five, I thought, 'Wow, they did it again.'"

- Raw_Combination_438

Stealing Storks

"A stork delivered them, of course. What the f**k, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Dells51

"Storks... I thought people trained them to steal babies from a factory and you would leave special treats on your doorstep as payment and encouragement for the stork to steal one for you."

"I was scared to death of birds for the longest time and would have a tantrum at the zoo when I saw a flamingo."

- No_Finish_3144

Young Conspiracy Theorist

"The government. I used to think that we lived in a totalitarian society and that the government was in complete control of everything."

- bebotak**t

"I thought the President sent people their babies when asked by mail."

- GustavoAlex7789

Scheduled Baby Delivery

"The women in my family explained to me at the age of six that a doctor calls you sometime after reaching adulthood at the age of 18 to schedule a baby delivery date."

"The husband either pays to schedule the appointment or the government does after verifying that you have been married and financially stable for quite some time."

- Lokikat00

Marital Kissing

"When two people kissed."

- Short-Reality7353

"I thought the same thing, but I understood that when my mom gave me a kiss, there was no risk. Being someone raised in a very Christian background, I assumed that when you got married, God made kissing a reproductive act."

"Since I made this assumption, I remember questioning why teenage pregnancy could possibly be an issue."

- meuserj

The Ultimate Christmas Gift

​"I thought Santa was bringing them."

- NorskoTheScorpion

"He was. I mean, Christmas comes but once a year..."

- Nouveauuuu

"I MAY NEVER ENJOY CHRISTMAS AGAIN."

- NorskoTheScorpion

A New Meaning to 'Forest Friends'

"When I used to ask my dad where I came from, he'd say he found me under a rock in the forest. Of course, I would go look for babies under rocks, too, but all I ever saw was dirt and those rolly-polly pill bug thingies."

"It was so gross thinking babies were just found THERE that I was actually relieved to find out how they were actually made!"

- melodie-artist

Pregnant By Proximity

"I thought women got pregnant by just being around a man, and I was always confused about what would happen if a woman still lived with her parents or dad after she’s an adult."

- ILoveYourCat

Coming of Age Story

"I thought it was a 'just happens once you reach a certain age' sorta thing. As a woman, I was terrified because pregnancy sounds like the most awful thing, lol (laughing out loud)."

"(I know the end result is worth it but even as a 31-year-old, I'm like, nope.)"

- BansheeShriek

Sounds Plant-Based

"I thought they grew like a seed inside the mother's belly."

- maclaglen

"Technically, that’s true."

- ManagementFresh4960

"Watermelon seeds."

- bravovice

"Well, not like that."

- ManagementFresh4960

The Power of Marriage

"My mum told me you couldn't have a baby if you weren't married. Note that she said 'couldn't', not 'shouldn't'."

"When my unmarried cousin was sleeping a lot my mum told my aunt 'she's having a baby'. I thought 'she can't be having a baby, she isn't married.'"

"A couple of weeks later she had an engagement party, quickly followed by a registry office wedding. She had a baby a few months later."

- MolassesInevitable53

Baby Trees

"I thought they grew on trees. True story."

- 8inchsalvatorre

"Baby trees, lol (laughing out loud)."

- ILoveYourCat

"I was surprised when I learned how it really happened, lol. I was like, 'You mean there are no trees?' And Mom just shook her head."

- 8inchsalvatorre

They Were Just There

"I don't recall a time where I gave the matter any thought without knowing the reality of it."

"Like, literally, until the day I was first introduced to the concept of birth, I don't think I cared where babies came from."

- N_Who

"Right, the little guys just EXISTED."

- Mizar97

Educated Is Best

"I asked my mom and she told me the truth."

"Educate your kids, folks. They can handle it."

- Bite_Me_23

Spontaneous Babies

"I didn’t... They just showed up, honestly."

- badguywindow

"That’s what I thought. I was terrified as a little kid that I’d wind up being a teenage mother because I thought it just happened spontaneously."

- dinosore

"Exactly what I thought would happen. Like one day you were just, boom, six months pregnant."

- badguywindow

While these responses might be funny, it's an important reminder of an area in the educational system that's often lacking.

But in the meantime, while the system's curriculum is getting sorted out, at least we can take comfort in the fact that we weren't alone in believing these tall tales.

People Break Down How They Realized Their True Sexual Orientation

Reddit user TheGreek1 asked: 'What made you realize your true sexual orientation?'

Group hug with people holding rainbow flags
Janosch Lino/Unsplash

Everyone has a different journey on their road to self-discovery.

Especially when it comes to their sexual identity, many young adults struggle with not fitting in and wondering where they belong in social situations.

It's common for many of these individuals to be ashamed and suppress their identity for fear of being judged or ridiculed, while others have a support system at home or among close friends.

Curious to hear how people arrived at their moments of self-discovery, Redditor TheGreek1asked:

"What made you realize your true sexual orientation?"

Exposure to media helped these Redditors with their epiphany.

The Guy On TV

"So one day I saw a tv show, and there was a gay guy in some part of it, so I thought to myself, am I gay? And I came to the conclusion that I am in fact, straight."

– ShapeShiftingBruh

"Same! Or you may see a good looking guy but it doesn’t feel the same way as seeing a good looking woman. I hope that makes sense."

– gomeazy

Erotic Magazine

"I stumbled upon a stack of old playboys when I was 7 actually. I was very very intrigued. Before that I thought boys and girls both had penises lmaoo."

– 335i_lyfe

'Cuz Ya Gotta Have Faith

"I’m dating myself here but George Michael’s video for 'Faith.' At the beginning there is a hot girl in high heels leaning against a jukebox on one side and he’s on the other side. My eyes went to him. I thought, maybe I just want some jeans like that. Naw. I wanted what was IN the jeans."

– shakycam3

Some experimented to determine their sexuality.

Trying Oral

"Honestly? I had some doubts at first. So I let a guy go down on me during a 3some with his girlfriend. He was a freshman psychology student and had just learned about Kinsey and was making a big long speech about how sexuality is a spectrum, and nobody is truly 100% straight, and you know what? It was kind of compelling. So there I am, getting what was probably the third blowjob of my life, and I just can't stay hard. This dude was motivated, and no matter what he did... I think I was every bit as surprised as he was."

– porn0please

Best Buddy Hook-Up

"Same here. I thought, 'let’s try men, see how it goes!' Found myself hooking up with a close male friend who is, by all means, a f'kin smoke show."

"It was a safe space. I felt comfortable. And I learned - at most I’m a Kinsey 1 maybe. Maybe a Kinsey 0.5."

"If I die without ever being with another man, all good."

– astoneworthskipping

Those who were acquainted with or related to these Redditors tried to convince them of their sexuality.

Recognizing Beauty, Not Acting On It

"My sister in law was trying to convince me I was 'bisexual with a preference for men.' She wouldn’t let it go, all because I can appreciate when a woman is beautiful. I told her that I can see when a woman is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them."

Saint_Galahad

Little Closeted

"My best friend in high school was a lesbian, and was always trying to convince me that I was bi. I was like, 'lol no, I'm straight af.' Well, one night with my guy of many years, we were opening up about our kinks and- I don't know, I guess I just finally felt safe enough- but I realized I'd always kept a door closed inside of me where I knew I was also attracted to women."

"I've had way too many bad experiences in the past with female friends (who I think were actually crushes) to actually ever think about dating a woman, but I'm definitely also sexually attracted to them."

– Dizzy_Duck5436

Impressions made from a certain age can't be forgotten.

Kindergarten Crush

"When I went to kindergarten round-up when i was 5, I remember seeing two very pretty girls and thinking I would like to kiss them. To be honest, 35 years later those two women are still very pretty and I would still like very much like to kiss them."

– 2aboveaverage

The Handsy Child

"I remember falling in love with my first grade teacher. Ms. Florence. It has always been ladies for me. I read these modern discussions where people are debating sexuality, and it just doesn’t compute. My Grandpa told stories about me putting my hands down women’s shirts at age two/three."

– momentum_1999

My elementary teacher's assistant was a high school student named Randy.

He was the first guy I couldn't take my eyes off of.

He was a redhead, had freckles, and stunning green eyes that looked deep back into mine whenever I pretended I had a question for him but fumbled with my attempt at small talk.

I recognized him as a beautiful man but I didn't understand why I gravitated toward him as I was years from having any kind of sexual comprehension or awakening as a ten-year-old.

But I know for certain that was when I realized I was "different" when I pined for him and wanted to be near him every time I went to school.

I wonder what Randy is up to now?

Do you sometimes think about the people from your past you've had crushes on?

CW: Death and miscarriages.

It's always sad when a couple doesn't make it all the way.

Especially when a promise was made.

Isn't that what an engagement is?

A very expensive promise.

Diamonds ain't cheap.

Redditor mimi_nivi wanted to hear about the reasons why finally getting to "I DO" was impossible, so they asked:

"People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?"

I've never been engaged.

And I thank God everyday.

My laundry list of exes is full of stains.

Not in Bed?

Season 5 What GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of doing her co-worker on my couch. I loved that couch."

Siguldg

3 Months Before

"He wasn't participating in the wedding planning at all and I realized he didn't actually want to get married. There was a lot of pressure from his family and admittedly, me as well. I just wanted a family and to be married and hadn't really paid attention to his reluctance up until that point."

"It was 3 months before the wedding and I sat down and reviewed our relationship. We were incompatible at several crucial points, even though we loved each other a lot. So I called off the wedding and ended it and while we were both sad, we were also relieved."

"This was more than a decade ago and whenever we run into each other we catch up and there are no hard feelings at all. He's married and a father now and I couldn't be happier for him."

Midnight_Muse

Back in 2012

"She died due to seizures. 3 am: she was home alone. She woke up and had a seizure and unfortunately hit her head against a wall… 7 am: she was supposed to show up at her parent's house to drop off the dog before work. She didn’t. 9 a.m.: her parents went to check on her, the dog was fine, but she was unresponsive. 9:30 am she was declared deceased at the scene. 10 am: I was at work and I got a call from her father… I lost it right there. It was back in 2012 but still, I’m not over it yet."

Fragrant-Snake

Cruel

"We had like 6 miscarriages."

"At the end of the relationship, he said something to me like 'It’s just so hard… I look at your face and I feel like I SEE nothing but 6 dead babies.'"

"Can’t really come back from that one. I mean some people can. We couldn’t."

"It’s crazy in hindsight but everything just kind of worked out. I have two beautiful daughters and a stepdaughter I love and a great life!"

relentpersist

Whoops

"Turns out she liked vagina as much as I did."

wayneo88

Sometimes too many of the same interests are NOT a good thing.

Lesson learned.

Thank You

Preach Amy Poehler GIF by SistersGiphy

"He cheated before we got married and I found out. I thank the stars every f**king day I didn’t marry him."

fatfemmebish

Old Friends

"She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that."

Wastoponcene

True Colors

"The longer we lived together leading up to the wedding, the more he showed his true colors. One day while I was cooking dinner for us he started screaming at me, like an inch from my face, and called me a (see you next Tuesday.) Something about it snapped some sense into me. I walked out and never went back."

gamergirl007

Technicalities

"We’re still technically engaged, but we never wanted a wedding. We met way late in life (I’m 50, she’s in her mid-40s), no kids, and if we get legally married the gov’t f**ks with her disability assistance so she is my spouse, my partner, and my soul mate. But we don’t feel the need to get married. But I do have a living will just in case. We will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary early next year."

lovedontfalter

Holy Mary

like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy

"The Holy Spirit came to him in a dream and told him that he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t a virgin."

hitlersd**k69420

Well, sometimes it's just not meant to work out.

And that sounds like a blessing.

woman taking photo of high-rise building

Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

As a child, my family traveled extensively throughout the United States. Both of my parents loved to travel.

I went to 48 of 50 states—just Alaska and Hawaii left—as well as parts of Mexico and Canada with my parents. As an adult, a job I had for 13 years required travel, sometimes for a month or more.

Through that job I made it to Germany and Japan.

Needless to say I've seen my share of tourist attractions and tourist traps. But I'm a sucker for kitsch.

So while I love going to Wall Drug every time I'm headed west on Interstate 90 in South Dakota, others might say to skip it.

Keep reading...Show less
Man thinking hard
Photo by jose aljovin on Unsplash

We've all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories, and whether or not we truly believe them, we can agree that they're fun to think about.

But there are some that are more sinister than others, and some that are far too applicable to simply ignore.

Redditor Specific_Shop_3975 asked:

"What's a conspiracy with the most evidence to back it up?"

The Sinking of RMS Lusitania

"The British government deliberately put the RMS Lusitania in harm's way to get her sunk to bring the USA into WW1. The fact the records have been resealed for another 100 years adds credence to this conspiracy."

- Blackmore_Vale

"Dude, it's not even a conspiracy theory. The German consulate took out a two-page ad in the New York Times telling people to not board because they were going to sink it."

"Also at the time Britain didn't have an option but to sell the ship because it was carrying so many munitions that they desperately needed. This isn't a conspiracy theory; it's just plain fact."

"Both governments knew the risks and they needed it to galvanize support."

- hagantic42

Not So Sweet Candy Stores

"In the UK, there was a recent boom in American sweet shops that sold grossly overpriced import candy. They were suddenly everywhere after the pandemic, they didn’t sell much, but they were everywhere."

"Someone on TikTok theorized that they were all money laundering fronts, so people started filming in the shops laughing at the prices, and staff always seemed to get really angry about it."

"Then it was announced last year that there was an HMRC (UK’s tax wing of government) investigation started because the theory held water, and suddenly they all shut down."

"The one in Leeds Centre near Trinity currently has a notice of abandonment in the window and you can see the shelves are still stocked: the owners just ran off and left it."

"Sounds like another successful case for the TikTok detectives."

- fearthe0cean

What's Behind the Price of a Piece of Art

"Modern art is just money laundering."

"Nobody pays 2.2 million for a blank canvas."

- Poultry_Master123

"The brilliance of modern art money laundering can't be understated."

"Alfred wants to pay Brad $100k for a bribe."

"Brad wants this money to be 'clean' to avoid authorities looking into him."

"Brad 'sells' a worthless modern art piece for $100k."

"Alfred has now successfully transferred the bribe to Alfred. However, Brad is now in possession of a painting that the 'market' says is worth $100k. Down the line, Alfred might be able to sell this now 'valuable' piece of art to a third party for $50k, $100k, or potentially at a profit!"

"It can get even more complex when the artist is basically a part of the money laundering ring. This makes it so that Brad can fictionally increase the cost of buying the art from the artist in the first place in order to make the money laundering less obvious."

- Zigxy

Why So Many Options?

"There is something fishy going on at Mattress Firm. How can they stay in business with a store in practically every plaza when the average person buys a new mattress every decade or so?"

- PWcrash

Quite the Distraction

"Might not be a 'conspiracy theory' per se. But I believe that the government works hard to cover up their own incompetence."

"Part of that is manufacturing insane conspiracy theories as a way to make anyone who asks questions look crazy. Or at least to serve as a distraction."

- ButtFarquad66

A Conspiracy Is a Conspiracy

"The meta-conspiracy to convince dumb people that the word 'conspiracy' means 'a crazy person’s imagination.'"

"Conspiracies happen every day. There’s a global conspiracy of adults to convince kids Santa is real. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a conspiracy."

"Somewhere along the line, the word got hijacked and it immediately discredits whoever says it. It’s practically a trap to use the word, so you have to dance around it if you want to describe people planning things in secret."

- Bob_the_peasant

Widely Discredited

"The government deliberately leaked false information to UFO investigators to discredit them because they were getting too close to the truth."

"(The truth being that Area 51 was a testing grounds for spy planes and stealth aircraft and was attracting too much attention for a secret weapons facility.)"

- 4thofeleven

"I think the government does this with conspiracy theories across the board. Promoting outlandish tinfoil hat-type theories helps discredit the ones that are actually real."

- QUINNFLORE

Another Money Laundering Front

"Benetton is a front for Italian mob money laundering."

"Probably wasn't at first back in the 80s but now... decent-sized stores in expensive real estate all over Europe, never anyone in the stores, never seen anyone wearing the clothes, don't know anyone that's bought anything from them, ever, and neither do those people."

- Bannedin_3_2_1

"I shop there all the time, in both Italy and Switzerland. It’s the highest quality for the most reasonable price that I can regularly find in Europe. I’m never the only one in there or checking out, either."

- AdultDisneyWoman

"Sounds like something a money launderer would say."

- kjm16216

Residential Monopoly

"Blackrock and Vanguard are buying up all the residential property they can in order to get the majority of Americans renting from them. Estimates say by 2030 they will own 60% of residential property."

- smartsapants

"I so wish we could all stop fighting about dumb sh*t for just a few weeks so both sides of the country could pass a law that bans any corporation or non-US citizen from owning residential property(with some provisions to account for things like bank loans obviously)."

"This would have such a massive effect on quality of life going into the future. Of course, it won’t happen."

- ternic69

People of Influence Parties

"The Bilderberg group. Every year in summer, they meet, and people keep track of who is there. Guest lists every year. Top politicians, royalty, corporate owners. Extreme security. No protocols."

"There is confirmation from a variety of these people that they were there."

"So, what do they talk about? Are they coordinated somehow after each meeting? How much influence do they have?"

"Well, given the extreme security, it's difficult to say. I am sure it's nothing, though. Why would those groups of people want to influence the world to suit their agendas, right?"

"Also note, anyone discussing this gets called a tin foil hat, or paranoid, or a conspiracy theorist who probably also believes in antivaxx reptilian....."

- Common-Wish-2227

Secret Climate Change

"The petroleum companies knew burning fossil fuels would lead to global climate change but hid the evidence of their own funded studies and did nothing to curb consumption, instead funded groups opposed to renewable, non-greenhouse gas generating energy to maximize shareholder value."

- 85_Draken

The Travels of Elvis Presley

"Elvis didn’t die in 1977. He was working with the government (DEA OR CIA? I can’t remember?). When he was compromised they had to fake his death."

"He actually moved to Argentina and lived the rest of his life down there."

"There were a lot of sightings. My favorite is when one of his house workers reported someone that looked just like him lying out by the pool at his own house the day after he died."

"It’s a fun theory that is pretty convincing the more you look into it."

- Affectionate-Win-788

Conspiracies All the Way Down

"People believe all the governments in the world have collaborated on keeping the shape of the Earth and our inability to visit the Moon a secret..."

- draculamilktoast

"But what about the turtle we are sitting on?"

- KAG25

"More importantly, what about the turtle THAT turtle is sitting on?"

- Hym3n

Intentionally Divisive

"That our governments are turning us all against each other to distract us from the blatant wealth manipulation, corrupt practices, nepotism, cronyism, among hundreds of other big issue things. Their plans working a treat and the people as a whole can't see what's happening and start working together against it."

"We are losing our privacy, our rights, and our sense of connection with one another. We drift away while they get more and more powerful. People hand away their rights like they're going to get them back and never question it when it's not."

"Our planet had to deal with another of the world power's attempts at control and that's the pandemic or should I say the reaction to it. I was always a believer it happened naturally but as time goes on it becomes more apparent it wasn't."

"We are bodies hanging from the roof being bled dry slowly but if this keeps up we aren't just f**ked like a world war or nuclear war, if we don't do anything we will lose whatever control we have and we will never get it back."

- Magic_Kushroom

From interesting and wowing to deeply troubling, there's truly no shortage of conspiracies and conspiracy theories out there for people to puzzle over and research.

The most troubling thing about them, honestly, has to be the stigma surrounding a person's interest in them. As soon as someone expresses interest in one of these theories, others are quick to discredit them.