Whoops!: Common Mistakes People Make In Their 30s
Reddit user cthulhu34 asked: 'What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?'
Most people think that by the time they're in their 30s, they'll have their life together.
It's only when they get to that point that they realize that's not totally true.
Maybe those in their 30s have a job, are in a serious relationship, and have a home. Perhaps they're married or have kids.
However, that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes.
According to Reddit, people in their 30s make all kinds of mistakes, and Redditors are ready to share what those mistakes are.
It all started when Redditor cthulhu34 asked:
"What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?"
"Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships."
"Alternatively, leaving healthy relationships because you’re bored and want to have fun."
"Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are)."
"This is so good. So easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic and so are we. We will keep changing and often times in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident etc.). I'm so happy to be who I am at 37."
Compare and Contrast
"Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings."
"This is a good one. Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate."
"But if you sit down and talk with them you will learn all sorts of shortcomings and difficulties in their life that will make you appreciate something about yourself and your situation."
"In other words we all just out here tryna function."
It's Never Too Late
"Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health."
"Almost 40, just started my MBA. Never too old!"
"It's absolutely never too late. I'm 42 and honestly feel like everything is getting better, ESPECIALLY dating and relationships in general. It's a relief to finally know myself and what I want."
"Also, I'm returning to study next year and looking forward to a career change. Having a beginner's mindset, always curious and learning. My dad is an inspiration, her had a stroke in his 60's and changed his life. After he recovered, he got a divorce, moved countries and decided to study medicine. He's now in his 70's living this dream and working as a doctor. It's never too late!"
"I feel and look younger than when I was 30! I know many people well into their 60's and 80's with this growth mindset and I'm determined to be like that until I die."
"Not exercising enough and eating a crappy diet. You can't get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20's."
"My doc told me at the end of last year that I'm not 16 anymore and now is the time in my life where I get to decide whether I want to see my daughters grow up or whether I wanna die of a heart attack in my 50s. Sh*t cut deep but I got the message lol."
"Dropped 40 pounds since January and might be in the best shape of my life tbh."
"Your 30s is when you are really in the thick of "adulting". It's easy to loose focus on what is really important to you among all the demands and responsibilities."
"Not Fostering Friendships: As you enter your 30s, maintaining and nurturing friendships becomes more challenging. It's a time when connections can fade, and forming new ones becomes harder. It's very important to invest effort in the friendships you currently have. Edit: A few people have commented about what to do when people don't reciprocate? My advise - keep trying! Everyone is under water in their 30's, they likely won't be able to make every attempt at outreach you make. But over time as things become less hectic they will remember you kept trying (without guilt) and will appreciate it and come back to you. But toxic people, yeah cut those out!"
"Not Nurturing Your Romantic Relationship: Responsibilities increase in your 30s like careers, parenthood, and caregiving for aging parents. It's common for the most crucial relationship – your romantic partnership – to be inadvertently neglected. Avoid taking your partner for granted, assuming they'll always be around, or treating them as an outlet for your worst moments."
Be Who You Are
"Not Preserving Your Identity: Similar to the previous points, your 30s come with a whirlwind of conflicting priorities that can lead you to lose touch with your identity. It's easy to forget what truly brings you joy and satisfaction. Maintain a hobby that gives your life purpose and regularly reflect on whether your job still fulfills your needs in terms of purpose, financial stability, and overall satisfaction."
"I'm 33 and in the process of rediscovering who I am, what I like doing beyond just 'filling in time' and how I like to present myself. It's scary to be caught off guard by the realisation that you don't know you and just as scary trying to start down a path to change that."
"I'm happy with my job and my role as a mother. But as an individual... I just feel like a crusty 90's kid, wearing 00's fashion and focusing on everyone else's needs because it's hard to find a direction for me that will 'spark joy'. I want my wonder and whimsy back!"
Change Always Happens
"Thinking you're a finished product, not likely to change all that much."
"Have you tried not moving in the ocean? It’s damn impossible. You can’t be stagnant in the turmoil of this world."
NOT Forever Young
"Biggest mistake I made in my 30's was not enjoying them more."
"Young enough to party, still play some sports, and perfectly in place in any bar. You have energy, you have a circle of friends (that will get smaller, trust me)."
"Try to carpe a diem every once in a while, the decade passes VERY quickly."
"Do whatever you can while you are young. 30s is a peak time. I'm 64 now, forced into early retirement, and I can't do half the things I "thought" I would be able to do in "retirement". Can't bend to do gardening, can't climb the ladder to get into the pool, can't handle a walk for more than a few minutes due to arthritis and more. I'm mentally "still young" but my body is telling me otherwise."
Life Is Tough
"Got laid off at 32? Just said F it, got 2 degrees in different fields (37 now). But I kept expenses really low and saved/invested a lot of money when I did work. I went from medical research, to analytics, to education, to computer science now."
"30's...uhhh not starting investing by 35, because that's the last stop on the compounding train."
"Also, I see people get wrecked by bad marriages/relationships. That's probably one of the biggest wealth and happiness destroyers I've seen."
"Also, waiting over the fertility window. People tried to have kids later on and it looks like an absolutely expensive brutal experience with the OBGYN visits and the $15k USD IVF rounds (multiples). Then dating over your thirties seems like a hopeless market from what I can see. I never really tried so I dunno (data analyst in me looked over the stats as a 5'7 East Asian male in North America, I'm out!)..."
"Oh yeah!!! Health! Working out is crucial. After 40 it gets super tough to achieve any exceptional fitness goals. That's the best case scenario. Some people come down with nasty metabolic diseases like diabetes, and the CVDs - hypertension, cholesterol, and heart disease - these are very difficult to reverse and they kind of stick to you with more aggressively the longer they persist."
"Also, daily brushing/flossing, apparently dentists are expensive in older age. Brushing avoids cavities, flossing avoids gum disease and cavities."
"Also, not constantly learning about economics and economic/social/technological/political trends, because the pace of technology will wipe out people's economic opportunities faster than their head can spin. I see a lot of people get broad sided by economic malaise because they didn't get their financial house in order before a crisis hit. Life can be rough!"
– Deleted User
I'm not 30 yet, but I sure will learn from these stories!
Reddit user _Halboro_ asked: 'What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your SO?'
When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.
Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.
Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.
Reddit user _Halboro_ asked:
"What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your [significant other]?"
"When he was doing a work contract overseas I sent him love letters every two weeks to feel connected."
"When he got home and unpacked I found many of them unopened."
"My high school girlfriend lent my hoodie to someone else."
"Gah! I had a University BF lend My hoodie to a girl (who was a smoker, too. 🤮)."
"There were at least 15 other single guys there that could have stepped up and lent her their sweaters, but mine was up for grabs!"
"And when I got it back it reeked. So, annoyed with him on multiple levels."
"My sister was in the hospital and he didn't do the dishes while I was gone for 3 days."
"When he got Covid, he was quarantined downstairs. I waited on him hand and foot."
"Three days later, I got Covid but while he was feeling better and still quarantining himself, I had to be sick and care for our son."
"I was stooped over the counter trying to make him dinner and he just went back downstairs. I’ll always remember that."
"My sister, nephew, and mom went on a vacay for about 9 days including travel days."
"When she and my nephew got home, the sink was full of dirty dishes and so was the island in their kitchen. Their island is HUGE, bigger than what I would consider average for a home."
"There were also trash bags just sitting around the house and it was just absolutely disgusting."
"It's small, but one year we were both working 15-18 hour days but had Thanksgiving off. I planned the menu, he didn't give input."
"I ordered the ingredients online during my lunch break to pick up after work because I didn't have time to shop."
"I woke up early, made everything. Cleaned the dishes and the kitchen after."
"All he did was complain."
"I made too much. I had too much wine (3 glasses over 7 hours)."
"After all that work and not even a compliment or a thank you?
"Yeah—we divorced. That was our last Thanksgiving together."
"After complaining for months that I never got to sleep in, despite being the only one to get up to the kids in the night, he finally let me sleep in one morning."
"I woke up hearing him quietly saying to the kids 'Mummy’s had long enough; go wake her up'."
"I only had maybe an hour extra. He always had several."
"I'm almost always up first. I tend the pets, get the kids going and make coffee. 20 min routine."
"Every morning I'd bring him a cup of coffee and open the curtains to let some sunlight in and then leave and he would play on his phone and sip coffee for half hour while I tended the kids and got to work."
"Then he complained that just because I was up didn't mean he had to be up."
"Guess who doesn't get hot coffee in bed anymore."
"My ex would skip the songs I liked that came on the radio."
"Was on my way back from Turkey with a nice stash of dried fruit from Afghanistan (imported to Turkey)."
"Declared it on my customs form."
"Got detained for agricultural reasons, said they would let me go but had to take the dried fruit."
"I looked and looked but could not find it. Was detained for hours."
"Turns out my girlfriend ate it all while I was asleep on the flight."
"We were going through airport security together."
"She went first and when she was being screened, pointed at me and said 'make sure you check my boyfriend, he always has knives' as a joke and then I got detained for a search and questioning and almost missed the flight.
"And no, I didn't have any knives other other contraband on me. Then she got mad at me for almost missing our flight."
"LIKE WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN HERE EMILY‽‽"
"When we were signing our first lease she joked with the landlord about how rowdy I am, to 0 chuckles or even a smile.
"I wanted to bang my head into a wall."
"I had a friend who dumped his girlfriend when he overheard her making fun of his (admittedly, rather nerdy) sister to her friends."
"He said it wasn’t just about loyalty to his sis, it was about not wanting to be with someone who has to put others down to feel better about herself."
"Always thought it was admirable."
"The most extreme case I know of is my dad and the girlfriend he had before my mom came along."
"He and the gf were high school sweethearts and had been together for three years. They were both dying to see Back to the Future 2, a movie that had been highly anticipated for years."
"He had a family emergency the day it came out so they agreed to see it the following Monday. He found out from friends she went to see it with a douchey guy friend my dad never really liked."
"He was so hurt and she was so unapologetic—her attitude was 'I’ll go see it with you too! Why did I have to wait?' even though they’d agreed to see it together. He told her they needed to take a break."
He fully meant for it to be temporary, just until he cooled off, but then he met my mom when he went to see the movie by himself…and he never looked back.
"He does feel a bit guilty though because his ex was pretty devastated when she found out he’d met someone else and wanted to end things for good."
People felt these were minor slights, but many seem pretty major from the outside looking in.
Most ended the relationship being described.
I guess it's proof positive that little things—good or bad—mean a lot.
There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.
But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.
Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:
"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"
"Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."
"Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."
Free Parking Corner
"The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."
"I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."
"I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."
"95 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."
"Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."
"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."
"I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."
For Surgical Purposes
"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."
"Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"
From War to Screen Doors
"WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."
Great for Kids Crafts
"I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."
Baking Powder Uses
"Not 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."
"You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."
The Question Is In the Name
"Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."
"When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."
"We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."
"Treadmills at home."
"Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."
"Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."
"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."
"It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."
Great for Crafts
"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"
"Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."
"Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."
"Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."
These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!
And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?
The food industry is highly competitive with restaurants duking it out to stay relevant.
They do this by presenting diners a spin or a gimmick on classic entrees.
While some eateries succeed by a wide margin, many fail by coming up with bizarre dishes that may seem inventive but fall flat on the palate.
This just goes to show that you shouldn't mess with what already works. But playing it safe is just bad for business, though. Right?
Well, customers chimed in when RedditorFremblem_Feldsher asked:
"What is the most overrated dish in the world?"
Some people thought gourmet burgers were all hype and in bad taste.
Bigger Isn't Better
"'Gourmet' burgers. You pay top dollar and get a burger that's difficult to eat (stacked to high and falls apart) and where there's so much attention to toppings you can hardly taste the beef and cheese."
"Anything made with truffle oil gets an honorable mention."
Too Many Toppings
"$18, tall, stacked, giant burgers slathered in fifteen different condiments and toppings. They're hard to eat and usually not as good as a simple burger."
"Burgers should be wider not taller. I don't want to take a single bite only to lose half the toppings from the other side."
Not Lovin' It
"Knife and fork burgers are bullsh*t. I hate the feeling of having to rush through eating my burger because my hands and gave are slathered in sauce."
"If it's stacked and/or messy af, it's not a good burger, even if it tastes good. It's some kind of knife and fork entree but definitely not a burger."
Sometimes people want something sweet without going over the top.
"It’s not a dish, but those milkshakes that you see that have chocolate all over the glass and a giant piece of cake on top. Ruins the milkshake with the crumbs mixing into it, and honestly could of put the cake on a plate and let us eat it normally".
Dough-Not Want It
"Donuts from places known for 'cRaZy' donuts. The most 'extreme' donuts I’ve ever had were the most mediocre. They tasted like somebody put stale cereal on top of grocery store donuts."
Behind The Scenes
"I work with a guy whose wife runs her own bakery. He told me that most of the places selling donuts these days don't actually make their own donuts. They buy pre-made dough that is uncooked. Then the places doctor them up. Hence, the stale cereal on grocery store donuts taste. It's because that's exactly what they are."
"Apparently, making multiple types of all homemade donuts is a lot of work. I go to a Mennonite bakery at a farmers market who make all of their own stuff, dough and all. They are legit working from before they open until after they close."
A Big Twist...And Not The Glazed Kind
"There's a place in Niagara Falls called Country Fresh Donuts and they've got some of the best donuts I've ever had. Their long johns are the stars of the show, but their other donuts are also super good."
"Big twist? They excel at wonton soup. Anyone who goes there goes for the soup first, donuts later. It helps that they're open 24 hours a day (or, they were at one point). 3am wonton soup and a donut is mana from heaven."
"Cupcakes during their 2009-2014 reign of terror."
"With the icing piled so high it would go up your nose"
Not everyone fancies a fancy meal.
History Of Lobster
"Lobsters used to be peasant food - they literally fed it to prisoners. It's weird how things change, but like most things it just comes down to supply and demand."
"Lobster is quite hard to farm so, although it's not a hard-to-come-by food unless you're very far from the sea, there is still a bit more effort required in producing them. Couple that with their image as a 'luxury' seafood, which increases demand, and you get high prices."
Not Worth The Hype
"Any steak from Salt Bae’s restaurants."
"Controversial but I think steak in general is overrated. I love steak and have some really good servings in nice places but I still think it isn’t as good as people go on about."
"Expensive food with gold shavings. What's that about? Do you eat it to feel rich and powerful or something? I'm sure gold doesn't taste very good and is not normally supposed to be eaten."
"You can buy the gold foil on its own and it's cheaper than you'd expect (still expensive)"
"After trying on on its own, I can say gold is one of the lower ranking metals that I've tasted. Silver, stainless steel, and titanium all taste better. I'd put gold in the same tier as copper, above aluminum."
"Edit: to explain how I know this, someone asked me for advice on different types of silverware and I had to try it out myself before recommending anything. The copper is an exception as that was a dare."
I see the appeal for Instagramming food, but if the beautiful food items photographed in portrait mode are making me salivate, they better deliver on my taste buds.
I actually patronized a diner that advertised an amazing pancake dish that had caramel sauce with crushed pecan and whipped cream. The idea looked better on paper.
When I order the breakfast delight in question, it looked nothing like how it was pictured. It was flat, messy, and undesirable.
And of course it tasted horrible. I was a sucker for that damn Instagram post.
Sometimes food is all hype. That's the worst kind, especially if you're a sucker like me and you fall for it.
My aunt and her ex-fiance were often hailed as the gold standard by my family when it came to romantic relationships. They were perfect for one another and had the healthiest relationship most of us had ever seen. My cousins and I all hoped to emulate their relationship someday.
Then, the marriage we'd all been looking forward to was called off.
Why? My aunt liked to hang toilet paper "over" (which is the right way), and her ex-fiance liked to hang toilet paper "under." When her ex-fiance replaced the toilet paper, my aunt would be annoyed that the toilet paper was hung under, and would complain, but that's where it ended.
When my aunt replaced the toilet paper, her ex-fiance would go so far as to change the position of the toilet paper every time he used their bathroom, and she couldn't take it anymore.
My cousins were so confused. That seemed like a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding. Being a few years older than most of them, I knew realistically, their issues were less about toilet paper and more about the fact my aunt's ex wasn't willing to compromise. However, the party line was that the wedding was called off because of the toilet paper, and to this day, we still tease my aunt about it (who, by the way, found another man, and has been happily married to him for 12 years).
Redditors know people who have called off their own weddings for absurd reasons and are eager to share the stories.
It all started when Redditor AnuragSlNGH asked:
"What's the most absurd reason you've heard of someone cancelling their marriage?"
"One of my friends was engaged and is Catholic. Her husband had to convert and he had a dream where he was in a Catholic Church but not getting married, he was a priest. So he had a vision of becoming a priest and now the wedding is off."
All About The Money
"I was going to be a guest at a wedding and found out it was canceled 2 weeks before the date. The bride found out that the groom had gotten a significant discount on the price of the venue and she was insanely angry that anything at her wedding cost less than premium."
"Keep in mind, this was her dream venue that she had chosen. She was just mad that her fiancé was “cheap”. Or something."
"I was never super close to either of them, but the last I heard they never ended up getting married."
"Guy dodged a bullet there."
"No doubt, my wife and I high-fived when we got a discount on our venue."
What's In A Name?
"My cousin called it off 3 days in advance because the bride and groom couldn't agree on whether to hyphenate their last names, or use his."
"In retrospect, there was a significant class/ culture divide of which that was merely one symptom."
"I used to work with a guy whose last name was West. When he married a woman with the last name Wild, she said she was happy to take his name. He told her that she was insane, and they were not under any circumstances passing up the opportunity to be the Wild West family."
"They realized after everything was already planned, invites sent out etc. that they didn't like the date. They moved it to 2025 so there wouldn't be a 4 in their wedding date."
"Their kids are just gonna jump straight from 3 to 5."
"Bride cancelled the wedding a week before because she was a hardcore disney adult and she was offered a temp job at disney and felt she "couldnt miss the opportunity of her dreams.""
"We live quite a few states away from disney and she said she couldnt do the long distance. Really she just wanted to party like a frat bro in Florida without any repercussions."
"She made a "songs to have sex to" playlist on their shared spotify a few days after they broke up. It absolutely crushed him."
"Oh man, what a sh*tty chick."
"Sounds like he dodged a bullet in the long run, but that must have hurt a ton at the time."
Where's The Ring?
"My friend's former fiancé was a nice dude. Firefighter, easy to talk to, treated her well and got her a nice ring. Every now and then the ring would go missing but he would eventually find it, safe and sound."
"She had a good job, too, and was giving him thousands of dollars a month to fix up a house they had bought to live in after they'd gotten married."
"Turns out, dude was living two lives or attempting to at the very least: he's married for 10+ years and had two kids, the engagement ring was his wife's and he stole it back every now and then to "find" it for her. There was never a house, he never bought one, and used all the thousands he had been given solely on cocaine."
"Needless to say, they cancelled the wedding."
Last Minute Non-Planning
"They did nothing."
"They picked a date, sent mails with it to invite people. And then did nothing until a week before said date."
"Of course they could not rent the venue they wanted nor find another one. They couldn't find caterer, dresses etc on time."
"But also, legally, they couldn't get married in such short notice."
"So, they cancelled the wedding, and will get married later."
"It's been 5 years. They're still not married."
"kinda sounds like they're made for each other, lol."
Worst Prank Ever
"The best man said in his speech that he slept with the bride about 2 weeks before the wedding. All hell broke loose. The groom demanded that the marriage be cancelled. It took a few days to get the truth out & for the groom to finally listen. The best man thought it be a great prank. The groom was apologetic to the bride, but she didn’t forgive him. Because he believed in others’ lies & won’t let her talk."
"He is a big AH. While hunting for the truth, found out best man has a history of sleeping with groom’s past GFs & crushes. Still trying to figure out why groom stayed friends with this AH. Awhile ago, bride found out groom is still friends with AH."
What God Says Goes
"My uncle and ex aunt called off the wedding because “God told them to wait” a month before the wedding. They lived across the country so my parents had to fly with three children under 10 years old and the tickets were non-refundable. My uncle called my dad with the new date, about 6 months after the original date."
"My mom called him later and when he asked if we would be coming to the wedding she said that she spoke to god and he told her to bring her kids to Disney instead. My parents still joke about it today and my uncle divorced that wife a year or two later. Happy ending though, he married his best friend about a decade later and they are truly perfect for eachother. She really is a wonderful woman and we couldn’t be happier for them."
I Wouldn't Give Money Either
"They didn't have enough donations from friends and family."
"They set a date, and when they sent out the invitations, they included a line stating invitations returned without the required minimum would not get seated in the hall, another not allowed into the wedding. The bride and groom would make an appearance outside in the parking lot so they could have a chance to congratulate them, though."
"They received... $0.00!"
"Why? Their minimum was $100. $250 if you wanted food. $500 included "cake service." For alcohol $50 got you 6 drink tickets, and I think the cheapest drink was 2 tickets, and some were 10."
The Future's In The Food
"My Italian uncle canceled his wedding because the bride's family (not Italian) would not serve lasagna at the wedding reception."
"He ended up marrying an Irish woman whose family was okay with serving lasagna at the reception."
"This actually seems reasonable to me. It doesn't have to be about lasagna but about communication, compromise, and treating the groom as an equal partner. It's indicative of what the entire relationship might be like."
Yup, sounds about right.