No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
– AwkwardFortuneCookie
Outdated Notions
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
– shebbsquids
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
– Leaping_Turtle
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
Finances
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
– strangemanornot
Spending Habits
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
– RewardNo3000
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
– DoctorExtra9060
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
– Mrepman81
Parasitic Love
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
– shebbsquids
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
– ShadowSurgeGaming
Managing expectations is key.
Never Settle
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
– scsm
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
People Divulge If They'd Still Use Social Media If They Had To Share Their Real Identity
Reddit user pretty_monotonous asked: 'Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?'
Social media platforms like Reddit allow users to comment on strangers' posts under the convenience of anonymity.
While a majority of the comments people leave can be insightful or encouraging, there are unfortunately many trolls who recklessly leave hurtful comments and do so while being cognizant that there are no real consequences for such bullish behavior.
This led Redditor pretty_monotonous to ask an interesting hypothetical about what would happen if a certain Reddit feature became obsolete.
They asked:
"Would you still use reddit if it had the anonymity aspect taken away? Why or why not?"
Some come to be entertained.
The Wallflower
"I'd lurk and read, but I wouldn't post."
– Not_a_werecat
"Basically how I've been using reddit for years! I have a hard time even making the simplest comments without thinking somehow this sh*ts gonna backfire on me somehow."
– archeryfreak93
Not Alone
"I love this ! I’m currently on a social media detox and I thought I was stupid for still using Reddit but I need some exposure to social media I can’t just completely cut it out, but this made me feel better thanks stranger."
– KylieJennerHusband
Fully Transparent
"Same for me. When I come here I can be fully transparent, and read others stories without making comparisons and going down the rabbit hole that usually leaves me feeling anxious and not good enough."
– crayshesay
It's a hard no.
Mental Health
"Nope. I removed myself from every platform that had that because I was constantly comparing myself to other real people, wishing I had what they had, and it was not healthy for me. Here, I have no clue who any of you are, and it's been an incredibly healthy shift while still allowing some exposure to social media."
– dj92wa
Permission To Be Rude
"No. Not because anonymity gives me the opportunity to be rude to people (I try to be as polite here as in real life), but because anonymity gives me the opportunity to talk about things freely that I wouldn't talk about if my actual name was attached to it."
"I have no desire for family members or employers to search my name and stumble across me sharing an embarrassing story, or having a not-so-mainstream opinion, or fangirling over my favorite tv character or whatever other niche interests I might have. Not to mention the risk of being stalked by people you try to avoid."
– onesmilematters
Giving Up On The Internet
"Hell no, I'd immediately stop using nearly every website I frequent if the anonymity was gone."
– AGlitchedNPC
Unemployment Risk
"One reason amongst the multitude of reasons, is that I don’t want the sh*t I say on the internet interfering with my job. I don’t want to get fired over a controversial opinion or over the language I use, such as simple words like f'k or sh*t. I’d have to overly censor myself, and the point of being anonymous is that I don’t have to do that."
– falaladoo
Security Reasons
"Probably not. I don't want to broadcast my identity for security reasons. I think that is often forgotten about when people go rabid over online anonymity."
"If a criminal/hostile state actor can make connections of when/where/what you post, it opens up a lot of scary possibilities."
– Substantial_Double32
For some, it's just a space for casual interaction.
Difference With Facebook
"This is one of the things that I really enjoy reddit for vs. Facebook. I can have indepth discussions, arguments, and debates with people who have no clue who I am, nor do I know them. I've really limited what I'll comment on Facebook out of the realization that any one I'm friends with could see that."
– ronaldreaganlive
Some Limits
"I might possibly still use it."
"But I won't express myself honestly anymore."
"Anonymity is one of absolutely essential things to assure honest and open debate. When you can be hounded and publicly punished for having an opinion different than that of the majority, you can not have free and fair debate."
– dittybopper_05H
Staying Private
"The same reason I don't post or comment on FB or Insta etc, I don't want people I know to read my opinions on anything. I'm a private person and It's none of their business."
"I like to be argumentative and have various opinions on topics that many people on my 'friends list' wouldn't necessarily appreciate."
"I'm also dead against the 'look at me' type of posting you see on other platforms; e.g. 'okay this time I'm done' without any explanation."
"In closing: I don't want to live my online life under the lense of people I know IRL."
– Rab1227
I would have no problem continuing to use any social media platform to comment on a topic with my authentic take on the subject at hand.
Because why on earth would anyone willfully make the original poster feel bad while they know exactly who is making negative remarks?
Many say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it."
Yet, that doesn't seem to stop people who have nothing better to do but elevate themselves by taking total strangers down.
Life's short, people. Let's be kind. It's not that hard.
When intending to show a woman how much she means to you, giving her flowers is a fairly common solution.
When trying to do the same for men, however, what to give them is a bit more challenging.
True, plenty of men will be overjoyed to get a bouquet of bright red roses or pink and yellow tulips.
Unfortunately, there are still far too many men who are too insecure with their masculinity to be caught dead holding a single rose, let alone a bouquet.
Leaving one to wonder, what is an appropriate substitution?
"What’s the gifting equivalent of flowers for a dude?"
Nothing Says Love Like Home-Baked Goods...
"Fresh baked cookies or brownies."- zazzlekdazzle
"It's a traditional romantic gift from the opposite sex that can also be given as condolence or congratulation."
"In every scenario where a girl might get given flowers, a guy might get given baked goods."- Efficient_Star_1336
Please Their Ego, And You'll Be Fine...
"Maaaan, just some appreciation and maybe a compliment."- Far_Kangaroo_8111
"I’m a simple man and don’t usually like being gifted anything."
"But a hug and heartfelt compliment or kiss from a SO goes a long way."- Fenix_Fire66
White Lotus Flirting GIF by HBOGiphyNo Need To Shop, Just Look At The Ground
"A cool rock."- simonearth
"My best mate would be over the moon if I found a cool rock and gave it to him."- NotoriousJAM
More Precious Than You Think...
"A 10mm socket."- speedyhemi
"There are only 1000 10mm sockets in the world and they move around, so if you can’t find yours it means that someone else is using it right now."- unbearablebastard
Nothing Better Than A Warm Embrace
"Hug works for me."- randymysteries
Season 9 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphySomething To Eat, Not Just See And Smell
"Lots of guys on here saying flowers."
"Sure, some guys might want flowers, but don’t let this convince you that all guys secretly want someone to give them flowers."
"I’m a 38 year old guy."
"I don’t want flowers."
"I don’t want to find a vase for them."
"I don’t want to clean up when they wilt and the petals fall off."
"I don’t want you to waste your money on them."
"Don’t get me flowers."
"Get me something I can eat or drink instead."
"Beef jerky."
"Nice coffee."
"Nice booze."
"Dessert."- gilded-perineum
"Hot meal?"- kurainikuraini
Korean Drama Cooking GIF by The Swoon"Everything Is Awesome"...
"A Lego set."- dysFUNctional_kitty
"Yes!"
"I don’t drink alcohol or like flowers, but there is always room for one more Lego set on my shelf."- DelusionalPianist
And NOT Well-Done...
"A pack of ribeyes."- fishstock
"I have rarely loved my wife as much as when she came home with a barbecue kit."
"She told me I didn’t treat myself often enough."
"So she got a couple of beers."
"Went to the butcher for a couple of burgers and a steak."
"All I had to do was turn on the grill and sit back."- mirage2101
Still In The Botanical Family...
"Potted plant."
"I love flowers, but like, bring me the whole plant."
"The flowers will die in a few days."- PVDeviant-
Little Shop Of Horrors GIF by MauditGiphySeems Fairly Obvious
"Beer."
"A six-pack is always a nice gesture."- Excellent-Practice·
Just Make Sure You Get The Right Kind And Sauces!
"Chicken wings"- wm_destroy
"Plus Ranch or Blue Cheese (depending on preference)."- RatherDashingf11
Just Don't Expect To Ever Hear From Him Again...
"RTX 4090."- Jetzve
"The only right answer."- _Revlak_
Video Games Gamer GIFGiphyIt should perhaps be mentioned that not all women love getting flowers either.
Pollen is a notoriously bad allergy.
However, no matter the gender of the recipient, any gift to show how much you appreciate them should be met with gratitude.
After all, it's the gesture that counts.
Though, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people will be even more visibly grateful to receive a gorgeous Wagyu rib-eye than they would a bouquet of daffodils...
CW: Assault and abuse.
Everyone loves a good true crime mystery.
The number of documentaries and podcasts reporting on murder and mass madness has tripled over the years.
People still make Dateline NBC, 20/20, and 48 Hours must-see TV.
Some cases should be too brutal to watch.
Yet we can't help ourselves.
We just can't seem to get enough.
Redditor Electrical-Lemon187 wanted to discuss the true-life horror stories that keep us all awake at night, so they asked:
"What crime was so brutal you get chills just thinking about it?"
The following piece may be too much for some people.
The details are definitely NC-17.
Disgusting
"The murder of James Bulger, an English 2-year-old abducted, tortured, and murdered in 1993 by two 10-year-old boys. I can't get that sh*t out of my head."
AdmiralBofa
"I remember this popping up on Reddit again some point after I had my little boy. He was almost 3 at the time, and I couldn’t sleep that night imagining that happening to my little guy. That and Albert fish, I was so f**ked after hearing the full morbid podcast on it I hugged my son an obscene amount of times that day."
dawn855
Who are they?
"Really, really upset me more than a lot of others for some reason."
IgnorethisIamstupid
"Although it is almost certain that the murderer(s) can no longer be identified, all authors of the report [2007, very detailed] independently agreed on who the main suspect in the case was. However, his name was not mentioned out of consideration for his descendants. I don’t know how I feel about that choice."
maof97
On Tape
"The David Parker Ray's murders. The transcript of the tape he played for his victims was one of the hardest things I've ever read."
idreaminwords
"The worst part (in my opinion) is that on the FBI’s website, they have pages and pages of pictures of his trophies. Hundreds of photos of items that they believe belonged to women he tortured."
"None of the photos are of gore just items like pins and earrings. FBI’s photos It pains me that each of those items belong to someone who suffered the unimaginable. There is a large amount of Native American-made jewelry, Harley Davidson memorabilia, and even a medical alert bracelet."
Intrepid_Remote_6129
In Pennsylvania...
"Not the most brutal I've heard of, but one that affected my parents heavily. In Pennsylvania 20ish years ago, a man had his head blown off on live TV. 2 bank robbers put an explosive collar on a friend's neck, then made him rob a bank or they'd blow him up."
"Police catch and begin to arrest him, but he warns police about the bomb. Police wait for a bomb squad/orders on what to do, and reporters show up and start recording. Then the 2 robbers see their 'friend' on the news, and hit the detonator before he gives them away."
Spinerflame
One Dark Night
"Susan Powell and her children destroy me. Her husband axed the two boys and set the house on fire and they all died. Susan had gone missing a year(s?) earlier and it’s just figured at this point the husband did it but her body was never found. Horrific."
Broadway_is_Burning
"Agreed. This makes me sick to my stomach."
"Physically ill. We all know what he did to his wife and kids but I get sick when I think about the fact they dated. They had everyday interactions. They spent years together. Years of conversations, jokes, intimacy, etc… and for him to brutally murder them all one night? Especially because people knew him as this passive guy. Really f**ks me up."
rootea
What is wrong with the world?
How do some people become such monsters?
The Infamous
"Everything surrounding Jonestown. Once as a kid I caught a documentary about it on PBS, just straight over the antennae TV at maybe 8 pm and it was one of the most graphic things I've ever seen on TV."
AlanMorlock
"I listened to most of the tapes and they are a hard listen. I go wrong with trying to put myself in that place during the whole ordeal of living in Jonestown. The sad, climatic end to life there, as told through the death tape... it's very horrific. What's crazy is that there are still questions surrounding that awful day in November."
"The death tape was edited, notice that it goes from killing the children to Jim Jones announcing that they performed a mass suicide. Morbid curiosity would want me to know what happened during the whole ordeal. Then there's the day after tape, where it sounds like a man and a woman are watching a news report on the murders. Where did that come from and who recorded it? It's very strange and we may never know the answers or the full story."
BoxTalk17
Mandalay Bay
"The Vegas shooting. It's hard to imagine being in a killing field, I wouldn't know where to hide or run. Stuff like that creeps me the f**k out because nutbags seem to be everywhere."
LightningTF2
"I was just in Vegas in March. I smoked some weed for the first time in years because hey it's Vegas and it's legal. I sat in the chair that looked out of my hotel window and could NOT imagine what that would be like."
"When we walked towards Mandalay Bay later on that evening the feeling of dread hit me so hard that my wife and I turned around. Being a little high didn't help but either way, it felt like Vegas was acting like it didn't even happen. So wild."
iscreamconey
Take the Bus
"As a New Yorker, I get chills every time I see a story about some crazy person just shoving a random person onto the subway tracks, for no apparent reason. I've seen footage and security camera video, and the person is just standing there, minding their own business, and some psycho just jumps up and shoves them onto the tracks for no reason at all."
"Kids too. and if not for fast-acting well-meaning strangers, these people would have been killed instantly. In one video, the little girl was saved by a whisker. Gives me the creeps that there are psycho's out there that do these sorts of things."
The_REAL_McWeasel
The OG Evil
"I know this is bland, but Ted Bundy, how the hell did he manage to get away with 99% of the murders he committed."
gaydumba**3
"Just imagine being around back then. He escaped during one of his trials and during the manhunt to find him he murders people. It must've been such a crazy time."
due_the_drew
"Absolutely, and the fact he was charming made people think no more of him, and that was one his best perks, the fact he could lure you so easily is what made him such an effective killer."
gaydumbass3
Ted Bundy will never not be a part of the conversations surrounding the worst of the worst.
This list will kill my sweet dreams forever.
As quickly as the internet and social media came onto the scene, many people can still remember what it was like before the internet was so prevalent, or at least when people were first getting acclimated to it.
Thinking back, they entertained the idea of the internet going away again, and the results were eye-opening.
Redditor Samuelwankenobi_ asked:
"If the internet shut down tomorrow, what do you do?"
Looking for Work
"I would probably have to look for a job."
- alwaysworks
"Almost all business now depends on the internet, including payment networks, infrastructure, etc..."
- trancecircuit
Be Kind; Rewind
"Step 1. Make some phone calls."
"Step 2. Open a new form of Blockbuster. People are going to want their movies and shows that they can't stream anymore."
"Step 3. Profit."
- ooglieguy0211
Office Environments
"Be f**king p**sed because I have to work in an office again."
- FredChocula
Honestly, A Dream
"It would be time to actually 'quit' and get to that plant mom career I’ve been wanting."
- skdubbs
Mental Health Quality
"I'd probably see an improvement in my mental health."
- Pale_Currency_134
Back to Reading
"I'd get a library card."
- Virgin_algerian
Reconnect with Nature
"Go outside."
- CertifiedLurker5
"For a nice long bike ride."
- nutellatubby
Internet Addiction
"I am 20 and the internet is all I have known. I would be so annoyed, frustrated, and depressed all at the same time but I do think with time my mental health would improve and I would start doing the things I actually want to do."
- officialjeasuschrist2
"I am 50 and miss my internet-free life quite often. Tech and the internet have done a number on my ability to focus, productivity, and social interactions. But I also lack the willpower to simply shut it off."
- Taminella_Grinderfal
Options Aplenty
"Clean my house and do the garden. No wait, my current fixation is an offline game, I'd probably play that and watch some of my 12Tb of shows and movies instead..."
- LordOafsALot
Sounds About Right
"Run like a headless chicken for about three hours and then go clean my room."
- RavenWitch13
We Can Certainly Hope So
"Go back to enjoying life as it's supposed to be."
- Starforce1616
Practical Choice
"Well, I’d try unplugging and it plugging it back in. Will probably fix it."
- DisappointingPanda
Apocalypse Now
"There would be no card payments (how do you buy food, gas, medicine,…). Landlines run over the internet where I live so no basic telephones. Communication as we know it would be gone. Would ATMs even work anymore? Things would get really ugly, really fast."
- alwaysaprairiegirl
"Nothing would work, some major infrastructures have backups, but for the most part our entire way of life is run through the internet."
"We’d be f**ked if it was out longer than three to five days."
- Mundane_Tour_3215
Avoid the Panic
"Hunker down for the next 48 hours. Stay away from public places and try to avoid being killed over a can of soup as the panic spreads. If it comes back on immediately, start using the brief calm to stockpile as much as I can. Within a week the cost of living will skyrocket as companies try to bleed people dry to recoup their losses and pay for the new redundancy systems they are putting into place. If it doesn't come back on after 48 hours; well kiss your @ss goodbye."
- westernteryaki
Ready to Go
"I am a child of the 80s. I trained for this."
- Subliminal_Image
Though being without the internet being gone would be incredibly jarring, those who were old enough to remember a time without such a prominent internet actually welcomed the idea.