Kids Reveal The Most Dad Thing Their Fathers Have Ever Done[rebelmouse-image 18347451 is_animated_gif=
Dad jokes are having their well-deserved moment in the sun right now. The wholesome, corny, giggles that only dads can provide are just the kind of thing we all need right now. One reddit user asked:
The responses were a master class in cheesiness and commitment to a joke. To the dads about to rock puns, we salute you. Here were some of our favorite lame and loveable dads.
Swishy Pants[rebelmouse-image 18347452 is_animated_gif=
Mine wears Swishy Pants. Like, I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've seen him in something else in the last five years and two of those times were funerals. The swishy athletic pants, an inexplicably beat-up pair of New Balance sneakers (he literally just bought them, how do they look like that already??) and a jacket with a (insert name of local sports teams) logo. Oh, and a baseball cap. He has one for our hometown team, and all four of our major regional sports teams' various championship years.
"They Didn't Say"[rebelmouse-image 18347453 is_animated_gif=
My dad picks up the phone and answers "Hello...?" before taking a long pause. His expression widens and grows very worried and surprised. My sister and I are already fucking baited and hooked.
"You don't say..." He says, with a light gasp. "You dont say!?". My sister and I are trembling at this point with curiosity.
He then clears his throat "Well, okay then... goodbye" before hanging up.
In unison, my sister and I ask "Who was it?!"
"He didn't say..."
Hunting And Gathering[rebelmouse-image 18347454 is_animated_gif=
**"I have hunted and gathered and I have returned victorious!" **... Yes Dad, I'm sure ordering pizza was quite the ordeal.
My Newt[rebelmouse-image 18347456 is_animated_gif=
Cleaning out the massive pond they have in their garden, he comes in all wellie'd up holding a small newt is his hand and scares my mum with it.
"What the HELL are you doing?!"
"Just showing you we have newts in the pond. It's a sign of a healthy pond, look at him, he's so cute. I'm going to call him 'Tiny' I think."
"What? What a rubbish name, why?"
Then he goes for the pun on the word "minute" like super small and goes:
"Because he's my newt."
Oh the dad jokes were strong that day, many eyes were rolled and groans were had. I chuckled and felt ashamed.
Lady Gaga[rebelmouse-image 18347457 is_animated_gif=
Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" came on in the car when he was driving me somewhere and he poked my face multiple times during the "Popopopopopo popopoker face" parts.
He also loves Lowes and Home Depot.
Bagel Shop Contest[rebelmouse-image 18347458 is_animated_gif=
I was at my local bagel shop with a friend and a we needed a dad joke for a contest they were having so I texted him asking for a dad joke and he responds with:
"A fish swims into a wall and says dam."
Proud Of A Pun[rebelmouse-image 18347460 is_animated_gif=
My dad got into a terrible accident where his foot became severed and was only hanging on to him by a flap of skin.
There was no way to re-attach the foot while retaining full mobility. If the foot would be re-attached, his ankle bones would have to be fused together, making it impossible for him to bend his ankle. The nerves would be pinched and he would be in a lot of pain. Every doctor he spoke to recommended amputation.
"No," my dad stubbornly said, "I've grown attached to my foot."
And that is the story of how my dad has been living in daily pain for almost two decades because he was proud of a pun.
Al Pacino[rebelmouse-image 18347461 is_animated_gif=
I was on the phone with my mother talking about wanting a frappucino and my dad busted in the room like "what about Al Pacino?"
The Gang Way[rebelmouse-image 18345811 is_animated_gif=
Not my dad, but I kinda wish he was.
My husband and I were on a cruise this past New Years and the captain came over the intercom with instructions on how to exit the ship. He said something about the "gangway" and the kids next to us asked their dad what the gangway was.
"You can't explain the gang way. You just live the gang way."
The kids looked confused but my husband and I were cracking up.
Hanson[rebelmouse-image 18347462 is_animated_gif=
Couple of years ago I got stuck at train station when buses from station were cancelled.
Called Dad to ask for a lift, I'm standing in the waiting pick up bay with tons of other people in the same situation, Dad drives up with MMMBOP blaring out of the car speaker system.
A Bath Towel And A Loaded Gun[rebelmouse-image 18347464 is_animated_gif=
After reading all these replies I think my dad is crazy... I remember him screaming from inside my closet "POWER TOOLS" then seeing a drill bit go through the door. Or when I saw him in our front yard in this dying pine tree pouring gasoline down the truck from his unsafe perch in the top few branches. And most recently... I had texted him that there was a possum on the porch (I had just gotten home from work it as like 11pm) and he comes out wearing just a towel and asks me where it went. I said it's under the porch and he goes inside and comes back out still in a bath towel with a .22 in hand laughing like a madman.
I love my father.
Buzz Cut[rebelmouse-image 18347465 is_animated_gif=
My Dad has long hair, whenever he is in a long line of people he likes to wait until the person behind him complains so he can turn around and say "Tell me about it, I had a buzz cut when I got here."
Overboard[rebelmouse-image 18347466 is_animated_gif=
Its just a really typical dad thing to take their hobbies overboard.
If he brews beer he wants a full brewery setup in the basement. If he likes fish he wants a 500 gallon saltwater zoo exhibit. If he likes to grill he wants the brand new Weber Genesis 4-Burner.
Personally my dad was into high end audio equipment. My basement was completely acoustically dead, he had interconnects worth more than my bike, I wasnt allowed within like 2 feet of the stereo.
My husband's dad went to the hardware store for a saw to cut down a couple small trees. Came home with a chainsaw that was the most expensive they sold, and that they actually warned him against buying since it was generally only used by professional lumberjacks.
Next time I visit, he pulls me outside to his brand new grill that cost as much as some cars. He looked at me, took a long sip of wine and said:
"This is the grill I don't ever have to worry about again."
A Guy Named Cliff[rebelmouse-image 18347468 is_animated_gif=
Dad (to screaming sister in the back seat): "If you don't stop yelling I'm going to drive this car off a cliff!"
Brother: "Dad, there are no cliffs in this town."
Dad: "I'm sure there's a guy named Cliff somewhere in this town!"
The Baker[rebelmouse-image 18347469 is_animated_gif=
My dad is a baker. We were walking in a busy area on a family outing, we are passing this really short guy, and my dad says:
**"Haha that guy needs some yeast" **
It was so bad it was funny...
Has A Mustache[rebelmouse-image 18347470 is_animated_gif=
He wears socks with sandals. Has a mustache. Starts a lot of conversations with:
"I'm not paying for anything."
Hot Dog Hand[rebelmouse-image 18347471 is_animated_gif=
My dad called me to ask if i wanted to eat a hot dog. I said no.
Later he comes home, and i see my room door open slightly. Only his hand slips into my room with a hotdog container. He leaves it on my desk thats right by the door, hand slips out, and the door closes.
It was so quiet. So quick lmao.
Oh and the door opened slightly again for a moment for him to slip some ketchup packets onto the desk too.
Cashiers Cringe[rebelmouse-image 18347476 is_animated_gif=
Makes cringey comments to the cashier like:
Cashier: your total is $202.76
Dad: Easy for you to say!
Grandpa[rebelmouse-image 18347477 is_animated_gif=
My grandpa once asked me what I was up to. I casually replied:
**"Not much, what are you up to?" **
He said: **"Oh, about 5'9" **
The Waitress[rebelmouse-image 18347478 is_animated_gif=
When we're out to eat, after he finishes his food, the waitress asks if he enjoyed his meal. My dad with empty plate in front of him:
"Oh, no, we didn't like it at all!"
Every. Single. Time. Help.
Every now and then, we can't help but be proud of certain accomplishments.
Graduating from college or grad school, earning a promotion at work, hosting your first Thanksgiving dinner.
Though it shouldn't be forgotten that pride is one of the seven deadly sins.
Which should serve as a reminder that we should be careful of what we boast over, and that some accomplishments might not be cause for celebration.
A Redditor was curious to hear some of the more questionable skills and/or accomplishments people have boasted about, leading them to ask:
"What are people stupidly proud of?"
Yeah... not cool.
"My ex actually said, 'Yeah, I saw this guy in a pub yesterday who tried talking to us so I basically burned his stupid shirt for an hour lol,' which is one of the main reasons I broke up with him."- AnyCurrency6027Giphy
Always read the fine print.
"Those IQ tests people share but they don't know how to read their results."
"Had some guy just so proud that he was in the top 90%."- 7grendel
Can knowing and doing nothing really be considered an accomplishment?
"Example: pride in not knowing how to do basic math."- stupidlyugly
"Willful ignorance."- storm_the_castle
"Amazingly and increasingly, ignorance."- vanta_blacknessGiphy
Definitely not the parent who deserves to be celebrated..
"My dad, a father of 7, brags that he's never changed a diaper."
"Like, congratulations on being no help?"- Porrick
...Where do you even start?...
“'I’m proud of myself, I haven’t cheated in a while'.”
"Me: 'it’s been 2 months and I’m not f*cking proud of you'.”- Pufferfish4467
They shouldn't be allowed to have pets!
"That their dog weighs so much, but really it's an obese sausage with legs who can't even take three steps without running out of breath."- whiskybidnus
But what's the payoff?
"Long commute times and working hours."- KyotoGaijin
"I'm terrible at my job, let's celebrate!"
"Teachers being proud that their classes are hard and their students are always failing."- GreatXsGiphy
It's hard to imagine what some of these people were thinking when they boasted about these non-accomplishments.
In all likelihood, they weren't thinking at all.
I love TV!
Some television shows are a part of my DNA. That's why an ending is so important.
In the end we want to be forever satisfied. Which is a near impossible ask. Not everyone is going to love the chosen ending.
But sometimes writers really get it right... Buffy the Vampire Slayer... (save for *@#*'s death!!) is EVERYTHING.
But then they can get it really wrong... Game Of Thrones fans are STILL fuming apparently.
Redditorslice29wanted to discuss all the best entertainment endings we've ever watched.
"In your opinion, what TV show had the most satisfying ending?"
I hate and love endings of shows. I love them when they're done well. I hate that it's over. Let's start with one of my favs!!
End of Life
"Six Feet Under."
"Watched this in real time with my mom. The whole show. Every episode. As they aired. I grew up along with it, and the ending felt like the opposite of a death - I was a grown up. You're right."
ipakookapisix feet under GIF by HBOGiphy
"Sledge Hammer! For those too young to remember this gem from the 80s, it was a show that satirized the Dirty Harry-style bad cop dramas that were in at the time. The show ended with Sledge trying to defuse a nuke ('Trust me, I know what I'm doing...'), failing."
"And then the camera slow-pans across the charred landscape of the ruined city and you hear the distant voice of the long-suffering police chief yelling 'HHHAAAAMMMMMMMEEERRRRR!!!!!!' Priceless."
"Blackadder Goes Forth The ending of a comedy set in WWI trenches to end with everyone dying after going over the wall is both sobering and satisfying."
"When Darling thinks the war is over because all the guns stopped firing. 'Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.' But we know there was still another whole year of war to go through."
"Newhart. No one in America saw that plot twist coming."
"And with the rise of the internet, I doubt any show could pull off a twist like that again and take people by surprise. The Season 1 finale to 'The Good Place"'was a rare exception of this happening post-internet."
"The twist is that good, and so few people saw the show during its original run, that there are probably tons of people discovering it every week. I don't want to ruin it for anybody."
"Cheers. 'We're closed.'"
"Thought the same thing. Have been going through the series again, usually one a day and about to start the last season."
SnooLobsters4636Cbs Cheers GIF by Paramount+Giphy
Ah 'Cheers.' Not my favorite show, but a great end. And 'Six Feet Under?' GENIUS!
"The Good Place."
"I need to rewatch that show. If someone told me to watch a show about the afterlife, philosophy, morality, interspersed with d*ck jokes I wouldn't be able to take it seriously but somehow they pulled it off."
jn2010Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy
The Tie Up
"Gravity Falls. Tied everything up nicely, but left me wanting more, but what good show doesn't?"
"I want more so bad, but we all know it's better to die a hero than a 25 seasons show nobody wants to watch."
"Agreed. Whether Alex Hirsch does something new in the future or just sods off with his residual checks, I couldn't be more proud."
"why we fight"
"'Cherish the memory of a question my grandson asked me the other day when he said, ‘Grandpa were you a hero in the war?’ Grandpa said ‘No... But I served in a company of heroes.'"
"Band of brothers is GOAT. Even reading that line gave me goosebumps I stumbled across 'why we fight' the other day, must have seen it 20 odd times, watched it again, still amazing. In fact, my missus is out tmrw, you've inspired me to start episode one again."
"M*A*S*H, still the greatest final episode in TV history. It made it clear that nobody would be the same after the war. Winchester couldn't love music like he had before without being reminded of the war. Father Mulcahy lost his hearing as a result of the war. Hawkeye lost some of his sanity."
"Margaret had to lose her self-reliance and realize that it is okay to accept help. Potter had to lose his beloved horse, which was his #1 way to stay sane. BJ had to learn to say goodbye. And, of course, Klinger had to give up his dream of leaving Korea at least for the foreseeable future."
"There are times (most times for me) when being in the military totally sucks. Living in deplorable conditions, spending 24 hours a day with the same people; working, playing, and sleeping together with people you like and people you hate. Missing your family and loved ones. Yet, when you have to separate, the feeling of loss is like nothing else that I have experienced in civilian life."
"Star Trek TNG. The episode itself was great, but that ending scene was phenomenal."
"'Nothing is wild and the sky is the limit.'"
HaCo111annoyed star trek GIFGiphy
Those are definitely some incredible endings. And endings are hard to pull off.
Friendship is not something that can be forced.
As with any kind of relationship, it all depends on compatibility and chemistry, and thus must happen organically.
On the flip side though, it can be pretty clear when people will not end up being your friends, owing to a fundamental difference in personality or beliefs.
Redditor Chola_Bhatora was curious to hear the type of people the Reddit community would never become chummy with, leading them to ask:
"What kind of person would you never be friends with?"
Basically, people who aren't nice
"People who don't apologize for their mistakes, blame others for their problems, and generally complain without doing anything about their situation."
"Oh, and generally a**holes."- NerdyDadGuy1981
"People who are overly rude and constantly laugh it off and call themselves 'a**holes' as if it is an uncontrollable character trait."- Business_Grand7665
Don't you twist my words around!
"People that distort what you said."- Mystery_Ireal housewives lies GIF by leeannelockenGiphy
Just take some responsibility!
"People who can never admit they're wrong about anything."
"No matter how blatantly wrong."- Rachfo44
Say it to my face!
"The kind that talks behind your back."- 0breanna0
Are you sure about that?
"Someone who thinks they already know everything."- Fragrant-Crow-4513know it all boomerang GIFGiphy
Then why aren't I laughing?
"Someone that puts you down in front of your other friends.. 'as a joke'."- motherfugher
How well do you actually know them?
"People who abuse your trust and honesty to manipulate you, especially when they disguise it so well."
"Had it one too many times, thankfully gets easier to spot but some people are freakishly good at it."- nothingjustk
Yeah, well mine's better!
"One uppers."- BasedChickenTendiekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Someone needs a lesson in self respect...
"I'm a woman."
"Had a classmate strike a conversation with me for the first time."
"2 minutes in said she doesn't have female friends because all women are b*tches."
"Why are you talking to me then?"
"What do you think you are?"- Minimum_Greedy
As Jane Austen famously explored in Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can often be misleading.
But every now and then, they can give a crystal clear depiction of who someone really is.
Which could easily be someone you do not want to be friends with.
Age is just a number.
We all hope to stay sexy until the end.
And even when we don't feel sexy, maybe there will be people who still think we are.
Redditor Debonair-Redditor21wanted to hear about famous crushes that enter into the "Harold & Maude" territory. They asked:
"Who is the oldest celebrity that you still find attractive?"
All Hail Dame Helen Mirren. Is there anything else to say?
How Old?Viggo Mortensen Peace GIF by Golden GlobesGiphy
"Viggo Mortensen. Very handsome at 63."
"Damn, he is 63? Time flies."
"Elvira. Cassandra Peterson. Just turned 70 and still breaks out that amazing personality at every appearance."'
"Omg. I saw the BEST suggestion for a movie ever. Elvira & Dolly Parton playing their stage personas as estranged sisters who must team up to fight evil."
Fatalejane seymour call me kitty cat GIFGiphy
"Jane Seymour. 71 and still stunning."
"Live and Let Die. Incredible, and she'll always be in my mind as Elise McKenna, the woman so beautiful that Christopher Reeve's character went back to be with her in Somewhere in Time. I totally get the desire."
"Susanna Hoffs (63)."
"Plot twist: She sang 'Walk Like an Egyptian' because she's immortal and actually lived in Ancient Egypt."
"She was my first crush. As a child, I used to watch MTV for hours just for that moment when she cut her eyes in the 'Walk Like an Egyptian' video."
I am loving this list. I didn't think I would.
Maddymads mikkelsen hannibal GIFGiphy
"You mean my daddy issues? Damn I love that guy. Death Stranding really nailed how he can come through a medium without much hassle."
My Biological Clock
"Jesus, I was so confused watching the new Spider-Man movies with Marisa as Aunt May. Marisa Tomei is perpetually the hot 80s chick in my head, also Jennifer Connelly. I was watching Morbius and seeing Requiem for a Dream and Career Opportunities. I AM OLD, I GUESS."
"Christopher Plummer, right up until the day he died at 92."
"I first saw ‘The Sound of Music’ as a child, watched in many times, know if off by heart etc. I didn’t watch for many years."
"Then as an adult I wanted to introduce a friend’s kid to it, put it on, and spent the next couple of hours absolutely dumbstruck by how hot Christopher Plummer was. It had never struck me before that time but go**amn have I never forgotten. No wonder Maria chose the Captain, if I had to choose between him and God I know who my pick would be."
"Timothy Olyphant. Idk what it is about him. He's so funny, charming, and handsome that I don't care how much older than me he is."
"I do NOT get tired of watching him; he is so expressive. In Catch and Release there's a scene where he and Jennifer Garner are having a conversation that consists entirely of gestures and facial expressions. Hilarious!"
"He is amazing in Justified and Deadwood... hell, pretty much everything. I think I just found out I may have a man-crush on the dude lol."
YeohMichelle Yeoh No GIF by RegalGiphy
"Ugh she was a vision in Everything Everywhere All at Once. And if she doesn't win all the awards then there is something really wrong with the voting system."
"Oof that's kind of a hard one. Without looking up a bunch of older actors I think I'd have to go with Ken Watanabe. I think he's in his early 60s now and the last time I saw a recent pic of him he was still looking fine AF. And an honorable mention is Steve Carell... I don't know what it is but he keeps getting hotter with age. I was never attracted to him until he did that silver fox photo shoot with the paint brush 'n shi*t."
total class act...
"Stanley Tucci. As my mom says about handsome men, he just looks like he smells good."
"He visited our hotel a few weeks ago. As the Restaurant Manager I was specifically told that my team and I were not to treat him any different to other guests, which we don't."
"The guy was a total class act polite, courteous, and always keen for a chat. Never mentioned his movies, his career, but was there to enjoy time with his family, and they themselves were also a joy to be around. Can confirm he always had a slight aroma of warm cinnamon."
Well that is a long list of sexy. Cheers to growing sexy with age.