College students living on campus can sometimes struggle to adjust to life on their own. Some party too hard, some adjust fine, others fall into a mischievous streak and start pulling pranks - and then there's the freakishly disproportionate amount who somehow manage to burn popcorn or light grilled cheese on fire with such vengeance that they set off fire alarms and force entire buildings to evacuate.
I may have been that last one.
So when one reddit thread devolved into a conversation about the weirdest college fire alarm stories, I had to scan through it to make sure nobody was talking about me or my many, many "moments" my first year in college. In my defense, I had never lived alone and had a very overprotective family who didn't let me do things for myself. Also, I'm absentminded and toaster ovens are hard.
Anyway, here are some of the funnier comments in the thread, none of which are about me. Some have been edited for language or clarity.
First week of freshman year of college in my dorm, I tried to drunkenly smoke a cigarette while taking a dump one night, but ended up passing out mid-smoke and somehow ignited the toilet paper roll enough that it smoldered and set off a smoke detector, which triggered the fire alarm for the whole building. It was not one of my finer moments.
Middle Of A Blizzard
Graduate apartment, someone burns food while cooking. They open their door to let out the smoke - exactly what they are not supposed to do. The hallway smoke detectors are a lot more sensitive than the kitchen ones and we all have to get outside at 1 am in the middle of a blizzard. Luckily I was sleeping with underwear on and I grabbed sweatpants and a tshirt quickly.
I once woke up to a fire alarm in college. Kind of. Exhausted I wake up and think
"F*ck it, it's probably a false alarm."
A minute later I smelled smoke so I sat up, but then decided "nah I'm going to bed" and actually went back to bed. In the morning I found out there was a big ass garbage can on fire in the room next to me.
Boy was I tired during college.
My freshman year of college I got caught in the shower every fire alarm and drill like clockwork. The first couple of times was kinda funny, I put on my pjs still wet and with shampoo in my hair but laughed it off, by the 3rd time I started to revolt.
It was 11 at night and it went off, I started screaming and me and my RA fought through the door with me trying to convince her to let me stay cause "the fire can't get me in the shower." Didn't fly. The fourth time I just came out in my thinnest towel since this was a Christian school and I wanted to make everyone else feel awkward, I was fine.
By the fifth time the RD told my RA she could start warning me before hand. I managed to stay out of the shower during fire drills after that but we had a tornado warning one morning and when my RA came to wake me up I told her just to charge me the 100 dollars for staying in bed. She made me get up and I laid in the basement in my blanket cocoon till I had to leave for my chem ll exam.
My second year I roomed with the RA so I never had to worry about it, though she did have to stop me a few times from jumping in the shower right before one happened. My junior year I just straight up told the RD I would leave the apartment naked if she didn't give me some warning. I think we only had like 2 that year though.
It's actually pretty great. So we knew were getting a late night fire alarm, like 2 a.m. late, so most of the hall decided to stay up, it was a weekend after all. Well someone throws around the idea of faking the rapture and we got IN on it. We invited one of our friends to come watch Tangled in the lounge and she went to shower while we got to work.
Everyone changed out of the clothes they were wearing and we placed them all over the room like we had just been taken. Some of us were on the couches, others at the table, and even a few on the floor. We had books open, the movie playing, popcorn popped, hell we even put underwear in the piles to make it more believable. So we do all this set up and almost everyone on the hall piles into one central room. And then we wait.
This girl was in the shower for like an hour so as we all sit there we start to get worried, we're on a time frame after all and what if the alarm goes off before we can pull this off? Then we hear talking in the hallway and it's the RA and RD coming to pull the alarm for the drill! So we grab them and shove them into the room with us and make them keep quiet cause we are NOT letting all this work go to waste.
The girl finally leaves her room and we hear her calling for everyone in the lounge. She's mostly just confused but when she starts knocking on doors we start to get worried. So we shove one of the people in the room with us out to convince her it's happened (I was suggested as a sacrifice but I can't keep a straight face to save my life so that wasn't happening). They actually wake up another girl who is not in on it but realizes pretty quick what is happening and plays along. The girl we were trying to trick is about to call her mom in a panic and see if she was taken when we all pile out of the room to stop her.
Many laughs were had, the rest of the hall was awakened by our shenanigans and they finally had the fire drill.
Then like a week later, a group of guys tried it on there hall and filmed it but that kid lost his mind when he thought he had been left and we were banned from ever doing something like that again :<.
Left A Deaf Kid Behind
During my first week of college the fire alarm went off and the RA in one of the sections skipped checking the rooms. They left a deaf kid behind. Luckily, it was only burnt popcorn and no one was hurt, but we all had to stand outside in the pouring cold rain and the whole dorm was lectured on how we had to leave.
It wasn't until it started to storm that they let us back in over an hour later.
A Pristine Crack
So we had firedrills every term in my dorms. However, nobody was informed of the first one because they wanted to make sure we were on our toes. I was having a pretty bad time in the restroom, I forgot what I ate that day. Whilst struggling, the alarm went off.
My first thought was, "Sh!t I have to go right now!"
But then I thought, "I'll have to skip cleaning up and meet up with my hallmates outside with a messy brown canyon in my pants."
It was a pretty compelling thought. So I decided to take a capital L by staying and cleaning up, all while the alarms blared and flashed. I lived on the top floor, mind you.
Ultimately, if I died, I wanted everybody I knew to know that I died with a pristine crack.
In college, the fire alarm went off in my dorm at 6ish AM. Less than half the building actually left, and a bunch of people took the elevator. Everyone thought it was a fire drill so they either kept trying to sleep, kept showering or kept pooping. Turns out it was a fire drill, and the fire marshal that triggered it was super pissed. The school got in trouble because they were "responsible for our safety", and started doing fire drills regularly. That made people even less inclined to get up for it, but there was no real punishment they could dole out.
Eventually, one kid lit his room on fire with a mini torch when heating his dab, and only about 1/4 of the building evacuated. Once the fire trucks arrived everyone started pouring out, but a few kids had to be treated for smoke inhalation.
After that everyone exited the building when the alarm went off, for about 6 months.
Finish Your Business
I was in University and I was on the toilet at the time the fire alarm went off in the dorm. At first I panicked a bit, then I quickly wiped the worst of the mess away, flushed and evacuated. We were supposed to gather across the street from the dorm but I went straight to the nearby dining hall and finished my business in the bathroom there.
I was mid shower in a communal shower in college. I was an RA at the time and it was my job to open all of my residents doors and make sure they were empty. Then get out myself. I had about 10 rooms to check.
I grabbed my towel and with shampoo in my hair bolted as quickly I as could out of the shower. The look on one guys face when I opened his door was priceless. I then got to stand outside in my towel and sudsy hair while the fire department did their thing. Turns out a microwave caught fire.
My Residential Director thought it was hilarious, and commended me at our next meeting for doing my job under such circumstances. I was mortified.
I was at the Dr office once and the fire alarm went off. My doc was in a mixed use building so there were all kinda of businesses and was across from the local mall. Right after my appointment finished the alarm went off. When we got to the designated evac zone, one girl was in the middle of getting highlights or her hair dyed, another was in the process of getting shampoo. I felt so bad for them as it took over an hour before they were let back into the building.
I was once in the bathroom at work taking a dump when we had a tornado drill. The bathrooms were one of the designated shelters, and of course the shelter closest to my department to boot. I finished up and walked out in what I hope was a nonchalant way only to see all my co workers including the guy I was crushing on. They were all very cool and professional about it luckily.
Burned Popcorn, Burned Scalp
I was in the middle of dying my hair in, like, February when an engineering student caught his microwave on fire while making popcorn. Stood outside as long as I could bear with my scalp burning, walked to a friend's dorm to rinse and ended up just staying the night there instead of heading back. Dorm didn't really try to account for all residents, just that no one was still inside.
Raise your hands--who had an emo phase in the 2000s? I know I did, as did a lot of people around me. All of us heard “It's just a phase" from our parents at some point, but when you're a kid, life as we know it seems so permanent.
Of course, most of the time, it was “just a phase". And looking back, those phases are regrettable, to say the least. Here are some prime examples of that.
What was your biggest/most regrettable "It's not a phase, mom. It's my life." that, in fact, turned out to be just a phase and not your life?
The enthusiasm of a young person can lead to some unexpected changes that parents are just not ready for.
I was VERY into The Transformers when I was a wee lad in the 1980s. One day, I decided to change my name to the name of my favorite Autobot. My name was lame, and I wanted an awesome Transformer name. And I was VERY insistent that my parents only call me by my new name. Calling me by my 'old' name would cause a big fat tantrum on my part.
So for the better part of a week, my poor parents had to call me Wheeljack.
Very 2008.Ariana Grande Shrug GIFGiphy
My cat-ear phase. I wore cat ears every single day. Everywhere. I had like 20 pairs of them. Now everyone thinks I'm a furry.
I find that very cute and wouldn't have thought you'd be furry. Even if you'd had cat mittens. I think my suspicions would have started if you moved a bit like a cat, displayed catlike grooming habits or got a cat mask.
Not gonna lie, that car sounds cool.
I went to a car show once as a teen, and the only newer car there was some chick's PT cruiser. It was hot glittery pink, and at the time I was obsessed. I insisted that one day I would have a hot pink car, with pink seats, pink dash, pink carpets, etc. I was pretty heavily goth at the time, so my parents just rolled their eyes.
These phases can often lead to some very strange fashion choices.
When I was a teenager (early 00s), I was waiting for my mother to pick me up and was wearing one of those sh!tty sports wristwatches. It was itching me so I took it off for a second, but then she arrived and because I was struggling to get it back on my wrist, I looped it around the equally sh!tty chain I had around my neck in a rush to get out the door.
My mom asked me about it in the car, and I told her this was my new style and I planned to wear it like that every day. She rolled her eyes.
I wore that watch on a chain around my neck every single day for 3 years or so. There are even professional family photos where I'm wearing it because I refused to take it off.
One day, the chain broke and I lost the watch. I was in high school at that point anyway and it was a major lady repellent, so... phase over.
Not everyone can be Eminem.slim shady eminem GIFGiphy
Baggy pants, being a rapper someday and being a professional skater.
When I was about 14 and Eminem was starting to blow up I bought myself a keyboard with a synthesizer. It cost like $200 which was all the money I had saved up. It finally came (this was way before amazon prime and such) and I tried rapping.
My sister told me "you're effing horrible" and I gave up right then and there.
This should be a sin.
I used to button the top buttons of polo shirts.
I must say, this is probably the worst one I've read.
Looking back at our regrettable choices, all we can do is cringe.
An optimistic look at bad tattoos.check me out season 3 GIF by PortlandiaGiphy
Being a tattooer. Regrettable because of those poor people who have my awful doodles on their bodies.
Take heart! My favorite tattoo is the one I drunkenly got my buddy to do in his living room one year during March Madness! It's dumb and frankly mediocre? But such a good story and has such good associations I smile every time I see it.
My friend and I decided we were going to open a bar in Jamaica with exotic snakes in glass cages in the walls at each booth. We convinced ourselves it would be amazing for at least two years in college. It was going to be called Fredro's.
My entire family made fun of me for it. Once we got out of college, we realized it was not feasible and joined the office grind. We're also two white guys with no ties to Jamaica.
Talk about cringey.
I wore a top hat with an anime pin on it for around a year. Met one of my current best friends while wearing it, idk how he could bear to speak to me after that.
My weirdest phase was probably when I insisted on wearing knee-high rainbow socks to school every day. But honestly, I don't regret it. I rocked those socks, and I wish I still have a pair.
To all the people out there cringing over their past selves, remember that you were just a kid, and to be easy on yourselves. After all, we've all been there
It should not take much for a consumer to be satisfied with the products they purchase.
Yet, too often, manufacturers who oversell their products fail to deliver what is promised and are inevitably left with angry customers who want their money back.
Whether the merchandise was defective or ridiculously overpriced, strangers online shared some of their worst purchases when Redditor BooksMcGee asked:
"What is the worst product you ever paid money for?"
Short Life Span
"This NERF gun that's supposed to shoot tennis balls for your dog. I bought it cause I thought you could load 3 at a time and shoot them far, but it's just one and it's super loud and the gun broke after like 4 shots (reading reviews later, this was a common issue)."
"There were these toys called squiggles when I was a kid and the commercials made it seem like the toy was alive. It looked like you would get this crazy little fuzzy worms as pets that would follow you around an so sick tricks and listen to your every command. It was really just a piece of fluffy string tied to another piece of string with googly eyes on it. People may say that it was supposed to be a magic trick but they should also explain that to a 5 year old who really wanted a pet."
"Not their fault, but I paid $70 for a Yugioh card hours before it was limited to one copy. Probably dropped to $20 by the end of the day."
These purchases were bad for your bum.
"A bicycle that literally fell apart before I made it out of the parking lot."
Not Worth Sitting On
"Joybird brand couch. Was so terrible, we returned it. Still hard to believe, we returned a freaking couch."
Going Nowhere Fast
"A 2000 VW Beetle (used)."
"Biggest piece of sh*t that literally had to have just about everything replaced before 100k miles and would still break down every time you left the driveway to the point where the tow-truck driver knew us on a first-name basis."
"An Oldsmobile Achieva from one of those buy here pay here places. I should have known better, but I was young and thought I was getting a good deal. I had the thing for about 5 months, I drove it for maybe 3 weeks. The rest of the time it was either in the shop, or in my driveway waiting until pay day so I could afford to fix whatever broke on it this week. Eventually told the dealer just take it, I'm not paying for it any more. He said nope, and I will make sure your credit is ruined. I said well you sold me a lemon, do you really want to go this route? He came and took it. Never reported anything to credit. I heard he got sued by several other people who sold sh**ty cars too and eventually went out of business."
"Always amazes me when I see them driving around still, I can only assume there's enthusiasts who just love repairing horribly designed cars."
These Redditors were not convinced what they ingested was edible.
"A box of plain Cheerios. Thought they were honey nut, poured a bowl, was very disappointed."
"If I wanted to taste cardboard, I'd just eat the box."
"A burnt frozen pizza at the air and space museum cafe in DC. I Don't wish that experience on anyone. There are some amazing restaurants in DC, don't settle."
The following electronics just gave off a bad charge.
"Asus Transformer Pad TF700"
"This was one of those early 'high end' Android tablets that was grossly underpowered, and it showed. Thing was slow as sh!t in no time flat. Rookie mistake investing into shiny new tech while they were still working all the bugs out. Think I paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $350-400 for it..."
"macbook pro 2018 13" touchbar. 2 years old and dead (battery). they're asking $300-$400 to change the battery. malfunctioning keyboard with double presses and missing presses. that's a lot of money for bad design."
"Past winter my old room heater broke down and I had to buy a new one. Went to a store nearby and somehow got convinced to buy a very costly heating device.. It's also my fault, since there were some sligthly cheaper options around, but nope. I wanted the expensive one thinking it will make my small room a volcano with little to no effort/cost (that's also what the seller told me). Long story short the device wasn't doing ANYTHING. No significant temperature changes, too much space, a weird noise, and was doubling my previous device in utility cost. I still gloom over those 80 euros.."
Some of my disappointing purchases was clothing, but only because I purchased them online. Unless they are a brand I'm familiar with, I'm usually fine with buying new jeans off of their websites.
But when it comes to graphic tees only available on specialty shops, an M-size shirt is not necessarily the same size as those found in other reputable stores.
I bought a medium sized T-shirt from a boutique store online because I loved the look of the design. But when it arrived, the supposed medium fit me like an XL.
At least I gained a fierce cleaning rag from this impulsive purchase.
We all know the job interview butterflies.
We sit outside the office or wait for the phone call and our foot taps at rapid speed. We run through some rehearsed answers, but worry that they'll ask a slew of things we never even considered. We try not to sweat too much.
Often, it turns out alright. We may not get the job, but we're respectable, give solid answers, and learn a lot about the place we're trying to get hired.
Other times, however, all of our far-fetched worries seem to come to life.
Curious to hear just how bad an interview can go, Redditor UIGrimsen asked:
"What was your worst job interview?"
Plenty of people had some truly bizarre stories to share. Part of these train wrecks were bad luck, and part were the insane antics of the people giving the interview.
But for us, they're simply hilarious.
"I applied for a job in a Planetarium, the interview was conducted in a big dome."
"Problem was, another part of the Planetarium staff was doing fire alarm tests during the interview. The dome amplified the sound so much, it was deafening. The interview staff acted like nothing was going on. We had to shout so we could hear each other."
"My mom raises chickens … and during COVID one of them got sick (not COVID). She had it inside to feed water hourly to try to nurse it back to life. My mom has to run an errand so I'm in charge of this chicken for the afternoon."
"I was on a phone screening with a candidate for a position in my office and this chicken starts having a seizure and dies on the middle of this phone call. I look over and it's laying almost like it was crucified."
"The candidate heard the commotion and asked if everything was ok … Which I relied 'yeah, the chicken just died.' "
"She withdrew her application the next morning."
"1.) I walked in as the HR lady farted"
"2.) it was a small office with no windows"
"3.) I asked her questions about their employee retention rate that she couldn't answer"
"4.) the fart stayed the duration of the interview"
"5.) I hope the fart got the job, because I didn't want it"
A Very Instructive Moment
"Applied to work at a vet clinic. Veterinarian did the interview while spaying a cat, apparently one of the cleanest and quickest surgeries they do. I fainted."
"Was not offered the job (after I woke up)."
Others shared moments when their excitement was deflated instantly. They encountered such closed-minded interviewers that there was almost no need for discussion.
That Bus Perk
"As an interviewee It was when I applied to a job as a Junior programmer and in 5 minutes the guys goes 'look, I'll be honest, there is no job, you can get an internship, no pay, we offer the bus pass' "
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles Later...
"I took vacation days to interview, bought my own plane ticket, and paid for my own hotel. First thing the interviewer said was, 'I have no intention of hiring you. This is just a courtesy because I knew your brother.' I had 8 more hours left in my interview day. It was painful."
"They ended up offering me the position many weeks down the road because they couldn't fill the position. I politely declined and got a very passive aggressively worded survey to fill out explaining why I passed."
There's a Right Answer??
"Wanted to work at H&M, got interviewed by the worst person ever."
"One question was and I am legit not lying, 'What is your favorite color and why?' "
"I answered 'baby blue because it's calming and not too harsh to the eyes.' My interviewer then said Oooh, sorry! Red is what we were looking for. And then proceeded to show me the exit."
Last, some shared the times they arrived for the interview excited and enthusiastic, but quickly learned how out of their league the position was.
These interviews looked more like brutal interrogations from the FBI than job interviews.
All the Principals
"Fresh out of college, I was looking for my first teaching job. I applied at a small district for an elementary school position."
"I walked in, expecting the principal and a few teachers. Instead I had the superintendent of the district, some high-level admin, and every single elementary school principal in the district. Probably 15 people in all. They peppered me with questions for 45 minutes."
"I had zero experience, just my student teaching. I did not get the job."
Shove Your Masters
"Finished up a masters degree in physics. Got a phone interview and was was told it would be an introductory chat. Was confronted with a technical interview panel (over the phone) of 6 PhDs, 4 of which had graduated from the research group I had just left. We walked through my research project in about 10 minutes."
"Then the pain began... felt like I'd only learned kindergarten physics."
An Extremely Intimidating Position
"Got an interview for a job as a floor manager at a gigantic steel foundry. I have some background in metallurgy so I thought it'd fit. It paid $90k and I was qualified resume-wise. I got there, turned out it was a group interview with three other applicants, to hear the pitch."
"If something messes up, the company loses $100,000 (some shockingly high amount, I don't remember if it was exactly 100k) per hour and it's your sole responsibility to fix it. They said you'd have to be on call 24/7 to handle anything that comes up."
"I got to the solo part out of curiosity and the interviewer they put me with said something to the effect of 'I know this job sounds bad, but actually it's even worse.' I was desperate for a job because I didn't land one straight out of college, but I was glad not to hear back from them after the interview..."
Here's hoping you don't have a job interview scheduled and this just amplified your anxiety 1000%. The nice thing to remember is that these horror stories are few and far between.
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Believe it or not, Canadians don't live in igloos or freeze to death all year round. If you go to Germany, it's highly unlikely that every German you meet will be cold and uninviting. Hop over to the United Kingdom and you're not going to run into tons of people with terrible teeth and bad hygeine.
These are called stereotypes, my friends, and it's best you leave them at the door. People were more than willing to strike down some stereotypes about the countries they know and love after Redditor HelloThere577 asked the online community,
"What are some false stereotypes about your country?"
"When most folks envision Scotland, they think of kilts, whisky, bagpipes, and red hair.
All of those things exist (and are common) here.
People might also imagine verdant hillsides, rocky bluffs, and skies that randomly switch between clear and cloudy.
Once again, that's completely accurate.
However, one stereotype which has absolutely no foundation, in reality, is the assumption that Scotsmen are constantly hunting haggis. In fact, haggis-hunting only takes place in February (which is the season for deosil haggis) and May (which is the season for widdershins haggis). For the rest of the year, the haggis is more or less left alone."
"I am originally from Portugal and moved to the United States. Around 80% of the people that I have met thought Portugal was either in South America, owned by Brazil, or a part of Spain. When I first came here it made me really sad."
"If the wildlife hurts or kills you in Australia, it's generally because you are f***** stupid. You are 10000 times more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident in Australia than by anything in nature."
This is likely very true, but knowing me, I'd probably be easy pickings for one of those huntsman spiders.
"That we end every sentence with "eh" and drink maple syrup by the gallon and have moose and igloos in our backyards."
You mean... you don't?
Just kidding. Canada is lovely––visit sometime. It's a lovely place.
The United States
"That we always have a shotgun at the ready. A shotgun is a home gun where a pistol is your everyday gun. Your revolver is your dress gun, for special occasions. Then of course your assault rifle is for when you're kicking back and cracking open a cold one with the boys."
"Anything related to The Sound of Music."
Probably gets annoying afer a short while. Great movie, though. Still dreaming about a trip to Salzburg.
"A lot of Americans seem to think we're inbred because we're an island. This is dumb, because it's a very big island (10th biggest in the world), and it's not isolated, we've been invaded, invading, and trading with the mainland for thousands of years."
"That we are car thieves. Crime was widespread in Poland in the 90s but today crime (including theft) rate in Poland is low."
"We do gesticulate a lot, but we definitely don't yell like crazy."
It seems Italian Americans are the ones who could learn a thing or two about being more reserved.
"Iceland. We're not some utopian Disneyland filled with quirky superstitious people that all believe in elves."
Remember: The world is an enormous place filled with people from all walks of life, and they don't take too kindly too stereotypes. Expand your horizons by having conversations with as many people as possible. You'd be surprised how quickly your preconceived notions will vanish.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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