College students living on campus can sometimes struggle to adjust to life on their own. Some party too hard, some adjust fine, others fall into a mischievous streak and start pulling pranks - and then there's the freakishly disproportionate amount who somehow manage to burn popcorn or light grilled cheese on fire with such vengeance that they set off fire alarms and force entire buildings to evacuate.
I may have been that last one.
So when one reddit thread devolved into a conversation about the weirdest college fire alarm stories, I had to scan through it to make sure nobody was talking about me or my many, many "moments" my first year in college. In my defense, I had never lived alone and had a very overprotective family who didn't let me do things for myself. Also, I'm absentminded and toaster ovens are hard.
Anyway, here are some of the funnier comments in the thread, none of which are about me. Some have been edited for language or clarity.
First week of freshman year of college in my dorm, I tried to drunkenly smoke a cigarette while taking a dump one night, but ended up passing out mid-smoke and somehow ignited the toilet paper roll enough that it smoldered and set off a smoke detector, which triggered the fire alarm for the whole building. It was not one of my finer moments.
Middle Of A Blizzard
Graduate apartment, someone burns food while cooking. They open their door to let out the smoke - exactly what they are not supposed to do. The hallway smoke detectors are a lot more sensitive than the kitchen ones and we all have to get outside at 1 am in the middle of a blizzard. Luckily I was sleeping with underwear on and I grabbed sweatpants and a tshirt quickly.
I once woke up to a fire alarm in college. Kind of. Exhausted I wake up and think
"F*ck it, it's probably a false alarm."
A minute later I smelled smoke so I sat up, but then decided "nah I'm going to bed" and actually went back to bed. In the morning I found out there was a big ass garbage can on fire in the room next to me.
Boy was I tired during college.
My freshman year of college I got caught in the shower every fire alarm and drill like clockwork. The first couple of times was kinda funny, I put on my pjs still wet and with shampoo in my hair but laughed it off, by the 3rd time I started to revolt.
It was 11 at night and it went off, I started screaming and me and my RA fought through the door with me trying to convince her to let me stay cause "the fire can't get me in the shower." Didn't fly. The fourth time I just came out in my thinnest towel since this was a Christian school and I wanted to make everyone else feel awkward, I was fine.
By the fifth time the RD told my RA she could start warning me before hand. I managed to stay out of the shower during fire drills after that but we had a tornado warning one morning and when my RA came to wake me up I told her just to charge me the 100 dollars for staying in bed. She made me get up and I laid in the basement in my blanket cocoon till I had to leave for my chem ll exam.
My second year I roomed with the RA so I never had to worry about it, though she did have to stop me a few times from jumping in the shower right before one happened. My junior year I just straight up told the RD I would leave the apartment naked if she didn't give me some warning. I think we only had like 2 that year though.
It's actually pretty great. So we knew were getting a late night fire alarm, like 2 a.m. late, so most of the hall decided to stay up, it was a weekend after all. Well someone throws around the idea of faking the rapture and we got IN on it. We invited one of our friends to come watch Tangled in the lounge and she went to shower while we got to work.
Everyone changed out of the clothes they were wearing and we placed them all over the room like we had just been taken. Some of us were on the couches, others at the table, and even a few on the floor. We had books open, the movie playing, popcorn popped, hell we even put underwear in the piles to make it more believable. So we do all this set up and almost everyone on the hall piles into one central room. And then we wait.
This girl was in the shower for like an hour so as we all sit there we start to get worried, we're on a time frame after all and what if the alarm goes off before we can pull this off? Then we hear talking in the hallway and it's the RA and RD coming to pull the alarm for the drill! So we grab them and shove them into the room with us and make them keep quiet cause we are NOT letting all this work go to waste.
The girl finally leaves her room and we hear her calling for everyone in the lounge. She's mostly just confused but when she starts knocking on doors we start to get worried. So we shove one of the people in the room with us out to convince her it's happened (I was suggested as a sacrifice but I can't keep a straight face to save my life so that wasn't happening). They actually wake up another girl who is not in on it but realizes pretty quick what is happening and plays along. The girl we were trying to trick is about to call her mom in a panic and see if she was taken when we all pile out of the room to stop her.
Many laughs were had, the rest of the hall was awakened by our shenanigans and they finally had the fire drill.
Then like a week later, a group of guys tried it on there hall and filmed it but that kid lost his mind when he thought he had been left and we were banned from ever doing something like that again :<.
Left A Deaf Kid Behind
During my first week of college the fire alarm went off and the RA in one of the sections skipped checking the rooms. They left a deaf kid behind. Luckily, it was only burnt popcorn and no one was hurt, but we all had to stand outside in the pouring cold rain and the whole dorm was lectured on how we had to leave.
It wasn't until it started to storm that they let us back in over an hour later.
A Pristine Crack
So we had firedrills every term in my dorms. However, nobody was informed of the first one because they wanted to make sure we were on our toes. I was having a pretty bad time in the restroom, I forgot what I ate that day. Whilst struggling, the alarm went off.
My first thought was, "Sh!t I have to go right now!"
But then I thought, "I'll have to skip cleaning up and meet up with my hallmates outside with a messy brown canyon in my pants."
It was a pretty compelling thought. So I decided to take a capital L by staying and cleaning up, all while the alarms blared and flashed. I lived on the top floor, mind you.
Ultimately, if I died, I wanted everybody I knew to know that I died with a pristine crack.
In college, the fire alarm went off in my dorm at 6ish AM. Less than half the building actually left, and a bunch of people took the elevator. Everyone thought it was a fire drill so they either kept trying to sleep, kept showering or kept pooping. Turns out it was a fire drill, and the fire marshal that triggered it was super pissed. The school got in trouble because they were "responsible for our safety", and started doing fire drills regularly. That made people even less inclined to get up for it, but there was no real punishment they could dole out.
Eventually, one kid lit his room on fire with a mini torch when heating his dab, and only about 1/4 of the building evacuated. Once the fire trucks arrived everyone started pouring out, but a few kids had to be treated for smoke inhalation.
After that everyone exited the building when the alarm went off, for about 6 months.
Finish Your Business
I was in University and I was on the toilet at the time the fire alarm went off in the dorm. At first I panicked a bit, then I quickly wiped the worst of the mess away, flushed and evacuated. We were supposed to gather across the street from the dorm but I went straight to the nearby dining hall and finished my business in the bathroom there.
I was mid shower in a communal shower in college. I was an RA at the time and it was my job to open all of my residents doors and make sure they were empty. Then get out myself. I had about 10 rooms to check.
I grabbed my towel and with shampoo in my hair bolted as quickly I as could out of the shower. The look on one guys face when I opened his door was priceless. I then got to stand outside in my towel and sudsy hair while the fire department did their thing. Turns out a microwave caught fire.
My Residential Director thought it was hilarious, and commended me at our next meeting for doing my job under such circumstances. I was mortified.
I was at the Dr office once and the fire alarm went off. My doc was in a mixed use building so there were all kinda of businesses and was across from the local mall. Right after my appointment finished the alarm went off. When we got to the designated evac zone, one girl was in the middle of getting highlights or her hair dyed, another was in the process of getting shampoo. I felt so bad for them as it took over an hour before they were let back into the building.
I was once in the bathroom at work taking a dump when we had a tornado drill. The bathrooms were one of the designated shelters, and of course the shelter closest to my department to boot. I finished up and walked out in what I hope was a nonchalant way only to see all my co workers including the guy I was crushing on. They were all very cool and professional about it luckily.
Burned Popcorn, Burned Scalp
I was in the middle of dying my hair in, like, February when an engineering student caught his microwave on fire while making popcorn. Stood outside as long as I could bear with my scalp burning, walked to a friend's dorm to rinse and ended up just staying the night there instead of heading back. Dorm didn't really try to account for all residents, just that no one was still inside.
The best-written characters are the ones with complex origins stemming from violent histories and broken families.
Villains are often misunderstood and eventually snap when they reach a breaking point after constant ridicule and mockery.
For them, the only way out of an unfortunate situation or deep despair is to take matters into their own hands – at all costs.
To have a nemesis who is just evil in nature and exists for the sake of providing conflict for the protagonist is just lazy writing.
But to have someone you can actually relate to and understand their motives – regardless of their violent methods – is more compelling to watch.
"What villain do you actually agree with/get?"
Comic book villains did not always start off with evil intentions.
"I don't agree with Magneto, but I understand why he would feel the way he does."
"I have the most sympathy for this villain."
A Flawed Perfectionist
"Dr. Doom. He saw all possible futures and the only one that didn't end in humankind dying out was him ruling the world iirc."
"Mr. Freeze, now that Batman: The Animated Series has given him a legitimate backstory. Look, if you're a scientist and your wife is suffering from a rare condition, but you know you can save her if you just have more time, doesn't it make sense to put the love of your life in suspended animation while you do everything imaginable to save her?"
Anyone is capable of giving in to the darkness, especially like these characters who were dealt with unfortunate circumstances.
Sucks Being Widowed
"Dracula in Castlevania. They killed his wife and he said they had a year to get out. It's on them for murder and not believing a murderous vampire."
"Baby Doll from the animated Batman series."
"The way her entire life is ruined based solely on her physical appearance. Her career and relationship with Killer Croc in particular, but the way you can clearly see the mental effects of looking permanently like a child."
Kung-Fu Panda Antagonist
"All he wanted was to impress his adopted father."
": You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? NOTHING!"
"Shifu : You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!"
"Tai Lung : Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?"
"Sandman in Spider-Man 3. There's little I wouldn't do for my kid."
These mean toons have a likeable quality in spite of their nefarious tendencies.
That "Phineas and Ferb" Scientiest
"Dr Doofenshmirtz - come on man, those inventions are awesome!"
"It's his parents who are the real villains."
The Powerpuff Girls' Tetartagonist
"My man was straight up abandoned"
"There's an episode where he actually wins and when he finally rules the world he... Archive the world peace, reverse the climate change, and things like that. So yeah, totally agree with Mojo."
The Mean One
"The Grinch; he just wanted his annoying neighbors to not play their loud holiday music at the crack of dawn."
"The Grinch didn't hate Christmas. He hated people. I think we can all get behind that."
Not So Despicable
"Gru from Despicable Me."
"I too, dream of stealing the moon."
"I might put it back, I might not. Haven't decided yet."
Redditors found a vast number of wicked characters who possess motives they agree with to excuse for their bad deeds.
We all have suffered challenges and obstacles – some we never overcome – but we don't necessarily go on a killing spree because of unresolved issues.
Maybe that's why some of these villains resonate with us on various levels.
Watching these misunderstood or wronged characters wreak havoc on society could be a manifestation of something hopefully most of us aren't inclined to do but feel a sense of satisfaction after watching destruction take place in worlds of fantasy.
The human body may be responsible for providing us with animated life and the unique wonders of human consciousness, but that doesn't mean we know what the heck is going on in there.
In fact, so many of the human body's inner workings are unknown to us who own and use that complicated apparatus every moment of every day.
We have, of course, made some real strides in understanding those inner workings over the last couple thousand years. We may have plenty more to learn, but at least we have a general lay of the land.
Curious to learn about the lesser known-processes of our complex physical selves, Redditor Zenssei asked:
"What is a fact about the human body that not many people know about?"
For complexity, look no further than the human brain. Redditors had no shortage of facts and tidbits about that one-of-a-kind organ.
"Most reflexes never make it to your brain. The sensory aspect travels to the spinal cord and the spinal cord itself sends the muscle movement signals to your limbs."
Keep On Kicking
"Your brain continues to try to revive the body long after the heart has stopped. In some cases 30 hours later there has been found brain activity trying to make repairs to bring the body back."
"This is used to indicate time of death in murder victims."
Filling In the Gaps
"Your brain likes stimulation, if it doesn't get any it will make some up, some people are more susceptible to it then others, the colors you see before you fall asleep are a common mild occurrence..."
"...there are several classes of these hallucinations, closed-eye visuals, which are caused by leaving your eyes closed for a long time, hypnagogia, which is caused by the onset of sleep, prisoners cinema, which is caused by looking into a dark place for a long time, ganzfeld effect, which is caused by blocking out all external stimuli, and Charles bonnet syndrome, caused by sight loss."
"Most are these are simple phosphenes but some can be whole imagined scenes, or more abstract fractal-like imagery"
Others reminded us that not all bodies are the same. They pointed out the anomalies that some people experience, but on average do not describe the typical human body.
"Apparently about 20% of people have a bony ridge on the roof of their mouth. Most people's pallettes are smooth with a very slight ridge."
"The 20% like me have an exaggerated and more pronounced ridge. Apparently it's most common in women and Asian folk, and I'm neither so that's neat. I always thought it was totally normal."
A Reason Not to Move
"People who live in 'extreme' conditions for generations adapt in extreme ways. For example people that live in high elevations often have larger lungs and different blood makeup."
"Or my favorite is the Bajau people that live on the water and spend a lot of their time diving, their spleens have become 50% larger in order to store more blood."
"I drunkenly tripped off the curb and into the road after a Halloween party in college. Turns out I broke off a piece of my elbow that night."
"It ended up getting encased in what ever the human body used to trap floating bone chunks in. Now I've got a chunk of bone gift wrapped by my own body's wrapping paper floating around, right against where it broke off from." -- Tur8z
And others felt the thread was a good place to share the truly bizarre, random facts they knew about the body. Read a few of these and you'll realize just what a mystery it all is.
Shake It In to Place
"When doing surgery were the doctors have to take out some organs, when placing them back, they dont have to be put back In the exact position there meant to be, your body kind of just, moves the organs into the correct position after the surgery"
"There are tiny cilia that spin in a certain direction. If they spin in the opposite direction while you're developing in the womb early on, that is how you get organs transposed onto the opposite side of your body."
"Your stomach is surrounded by more brain cells (half a billion neurons) than the brain of a cat contains in total."
"It's your enteric nervous system. It controls digestion, operates autonomously, has its own memory, can handle its own reflexes, it has its own senses even."
"It's thought to have come about because of the blood-brain barrier and the main brain being locked away in the skull, a spinal column and nerves away from the critical action of nutrition."
"Your eyes have a separate immune system from the rest of your body and in a lot of occasions if your body's immune system finds your eyes, they will assume they are a foreign body and blind you."
So next time you think you have a good idea of all that's going on under the hood, just remember that whole layer of microscopic processes that seem to be playing by their own rules entirely.
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Priceless, collectible objects fall into the hands of people in a variety of ways.
Some are serious, hard-working hobbyists. They search online forums, peruse antique sales, and budget a good amount of cash toward collecting one-of-a-kind items.
But others come into possession of truly rare objects almost by accident. They might not have known what they were buying, they could have received the item as an heirloom.
Either way, having just one rarity can be an exciting conversation piece.
Apparently eager to know what's out there, encased in glass somewhere, Redditor Sheeppower4 asked:
"What is the rarest thing you own?"
Many people's rare objects were historical in nature. They were old, they illustrated a moment of history, and they derived their value from remaining intact so many years later.
"16 century English Knight armour. It's a family heirloom." -- VinnyColdheart
"I imagine seeing that thing on Pawn Stars. 'Well, It's not exactly Century XVI; It's from 1601, and It has a scratch here and there, like if someone had hit it with a sharp object, I don't know. Anyway, all I can do is 50 bucks. And I'm risking here' " -- V02D
An Artifact of a Dark Time
"I don't really own this, but I am caretaker of a ring. During WW2 my Grandfather owned a tailors shop in Holland. A Jewish neighbor found out he was about to be taken, came into the shop, and gave him a few things, asking him to look after them, saying he would return after the war."
"He never came. I have his mourning ring, which has a lock of hair and a pearl, surrounded by diamonds. I did take it to a jeweler once, to see if the lock of hair could have some DNA, but he said it was too delicate to tamper with."
"My brother was a teacher, and now my daughter is. They have both used the ring to teach of the Holocaust. I think the ring has made it real for many children."
Wrong Coffin to Open
"I have an odd old handle from a coffin which dates back to a satanist from around 1800." -- BeyondContextual
"Imagine being the guy that was holding one of the handles and that sh** just snaps off, body falls out" -- AydenH5
"You fool! They don't die if there's no handle! Now there's a fekin Satanist roaming around somewhere looking for sacrifices!" -- Super_monkey_box
Other people were all about the autographs.
Whether it was them or a loved one, some hard work and good timing allowed them to take home a very valuable proof that they rubbed shoulders with some seriously influential figures.
Concert of a Lifetime
"My dad is retired from the NYPD. He was one of a bunch of officers escorting the Beatles to the stage when they played Shea Stadium. He got all their signatures in his ticket book. Ringo signed his name by drawing a star only."
"The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame offered him $500k for it and he refused."
"When my dad died a few years ago, it was passed on to me."
"I will never sell it."
"A baseball with both Babe Ruth & Joe DiMagio signatures." -- Dendad1218
"Passed down to you?" -- Cubsfan630
"Yes, actually it is a family thing. Joe was family. It is very sun damaged." -- Dendad1218
"A Thor print signed by Stan Lee, to me."
"My wife got it for me at one of his final appearances. He wasn't doing personalizations, but she talked him into it."
The Cast that Made It
"I've got a Star Wars poster with Mark Hamill, Peter Mayhew, and Carrie Fisher's autograph on it, along with a handful of other original Star Wars trilogy characters"
And others shared the rarities that showed a little bit more of their own personality. Some were seeked out, some were only saved thanks to a little shameless fanhood.
"A custom go board that is truly unique. The lines are made of darker wood inlaid to the lighter wood, not ink. This board will never warp. The whole thing is super high quality. It was a commissioned work, and the guy said he would never make another one (yes he was well paid)."
"It's something a go player immediately appreciates. As far as I am concerned, I own the best table board on the planet."
Well Cared For
"A official 1962 amazing fantasy no 15 (the first appearance from spider man) it was given to me by my late grandpa I have it in a air sealed package in a small safe being a painting in my room it is my most prized possession"
Rare and Phallic
"A Little Mermaid VHS cover with a penis tower" -- Tylorexy
"That's not rare, though, is it? I had the same thing as a kid."
"I remember trying to find the penis tower as a 10yo girl who didn't really know what a penis looked like. I found it because it was suspiciously not tower-like, but without first hand knowledge I couldn't be sure that was the one." -- Okoreala
"It is and it isn't."
"Plenty of copies with that case were made, but IIRC they redid the vhs cover at some point, so there were two variants floating around. On top of that, vhs not really being a thing anymore makes it difficult to find a copy with the di*k tower on it." -- brycejm1991
Unfortunately, we can't all be so lucky to have such cool and interesting prized possessions.
My rarest possession, for example, is that dorky U.S. map quarter collection.
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Why are humans so stupid? Why weren't we created with automatic genius? Or at the very least, our own how-to manual.
Can you imagine? A how-to use manual for each individual. Lord, the amount of wasted time saved.
I can openly admit I should come with a manual. And I am also someone who often doesn't understand manuals, so I thank designers for fool proofing some necessities for me. Though I'm not as bad as some.
Redditor u/SugarCookieBear wanted to know what things we use that were designed to bypass our basic abilities to be... idiots, by asking:
Engineers of Reddit, what's the most ridiculous idiot-proofing you've had to add in your never-ending quest to combat stupid people?
I'm intrigued to discover how and when designers and engineers realize that what they are crafting needs to come with extra detail, for the lame crowd. And by the crowd, I mean society as a whole. Let's face it, we need help.
No Eat!GIF by VH1Giphy
"A paragraph in an owners' manual on not eating the broken glass from binoculars."
Don't Drink Up
"Wife is a civil engineer. The one that came to mind for her was that she had to add to the specification of a construction contract that stated that workers would not drink the water that accumulated at the bottom of an excavation."
"We had a pedestrian bridge next to a bridge for vehicles, separated by about a 3ft gap. The bridges were about 20ft high over the water. So many drunk pedestrians climbed over the rails and tried to jump between bridges and didn't make it that I was directed to design a safety net to hang between the two bridges."
"I work in facilities maintenance. Someone put in a ticket for a malfunctioned computer on wheels and I found the power cord was frayed. Not my gear so all I can really do is set it aside and have the biomed techs fix it."
"I put a zip-tie through the holes in the prongs of the plug, put 2 nitrile glove on the plug, zip tied the gloves in place, and wrapped up the gloves with duct tape. I got a sheet of printer paper and wrote "inoperative. do not use. do not plug in" and taped it to the monitor."
"Couple hours later I get a ticket for another COW with frayed power cord sparking. It turned out to be the same cart and one of the nurses cut the end of the gloves off, cut the zip tie in the end of the plug, and plugged it in and it arced and tripped a breaker because of the frayed power cord."
Can't Resist!canadian wtf GIF by CBCGiphy
"I was asked to make a hydraulic oil pump nozzle 'drink proof'."
"That's a fools errand, the best you can hope for is "drink resistant".
Ok. Some of those items make me concerned for surviving life. Who eats glass? I've seen some things in the world, but that would definitely be a first and hopefully last. I shudder to continue.
Roadblocks...water satisfying GIFGiphy
"Civil engineer here. While laying asphalt usually we close the road and cover using barricade tapes. But no matter his hard we try people always find ways to go through and ruin the whole process. Ultimately we had to use security to block the roads."
Don't go THERE!!!
"Chemical engineer. Please do not poop in the test room. I wish I was joking, but it happened!"
"My cousin is a chemical engineer. For weeks they had contaminants in their product. I forget exactly what fixes they tried, but they eventually found out via security cams that one of the night shift maintenance workers was peeing into one of the chemical vats."
"I work on cars, so almost everything is designed around protecting people. My favorite is that we have to make the Hvac system louder and engine noise insulation worse because people will complain if they can't hear the systems running. We could make almost silent air ducts, but our warranty spend would go up."
Not a Hammer
"I'm a mech E intern, I walked in on my manager discussing a design with another engineer, all I heard was "so the guys will probably use that as a hammer so I made it out of this stronger material" "when they're working they will probably be throwing this small door open so I used stronger hinges and added a stop"
"It's things like this that I really appreciate about my internship, I likely wouldn't have thought about that myself."
On the 5th...Big Boi Smh GIF by OutkastGiphy
"Application Engineer here: When handling a 3D Laserscanner, it has to be placed and fixed on a stable tripod."
"A flat rail of a balcony is not a suitable substitute for it. And no, the insurance has not covered the total loss of the device after it felt from the 5th floor to the concrete pavement."
Y'all, does common sense no longer exist. Thankfully these people have the forethought to plan ahead. They are saving us, one idea at a time.
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