College Grads Share Advice For Those Beginning University
[rebelmouse-image 18347416 is_animated_gif=College can be the most important and rewarding years of one's life. But it's not easy - you're on your own for the first time, there are many demands of you, and it goes by fast. These tips can help make the journey a wee bit easier.
NotYourKindofFluff asked, What is some good advice for beginning college?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
You're on your own, kiddos - the best part of college is your social life.
[rebelmouse-image 18347417 is_animated_gif=I clearly remember when I started college - the day I moved into the dorm, my mom said: "don't unpack now, go meet the other hallmates." I remember the door closing behind my parents and it finally hit me that I was actually alone. I was tempted to feel sorry for myself and get upset, but I actually listened to my mom. I didn't make my best friends that day, but I still think it was important that I tried right away. It helped me navigate my new environment and give me a sense of belonging.
Go to those new student social events. Sure it's awkward for everyone, but there may even be orange drink.
[rebelmouse-image 18347418 is_animated_gif=To add to this, I recommend going to those "cheesy" student events. I met people at the student center bingo night and won a $20 gift card to Barnes & Noble in the process. Those types of events tend to not be super busy and the atmosphere makes it comfortable enough to talk to the people around you.
Wander around campus (without headphones) and say hi to people.
[rebelmouse-image 18347419 is_animated_gif=I ran into a group of 3 other weird dudes wandering around campus and they turned out to be my bros for the rest of my life. So many good times.
This is, arguably, the whole point of college - social skills and interpersonal relationships.
[rebelmouse-image 18347420 is_animated_gif=Push your social boundaries. College is a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet all kinds of different people and make amazing friendships, even if they're only fleeting. Life will never be quite like that again.
If you don't like your major, change it. Pursue what makes you happy - you're paying too much money to be miserable.
[rebelmouse-image 18347422 is_animated_gif=Don't be afraid to change your major. Better to change your mind now than years down the road when you hate your job and wish you would've done something else.
Textbooks are crazy expensive.
[rebelmouse-image 18347423 is_animated_gif=Buy used books.
I can't tell you how many textbooks cost hundreds of dollars - and never got used.
[rebelmouse-image 18347424 is_animated_gif=And don't buy books until after you go to the class and see if you actually need them. Half of them you won't
Develop good studying habits - and do your daily assignments. They usually don't take that long anyway.
[rebelmouse-image 18347425 is_animated_gif=Do the homework. Do it. Every week. It will help you on your tests more than cramming a few nights before the assessments.
Go at your own pace - and yeah, nap. Nap TF out of college. And you can usually nap almost anywhere.
[rebelmouse-image 18347426 is_animated_gif=If you don't make friends right away, that's okay! It can take people a while, and don't feel discouraged from seeing other people making friends right away. I see a lot of people saying study, and obviously, but also, take lots of naps and have as much fun as possible. It's hard to do those outside of college.
College is the only time in life that you and everyone else are in the same boat. Make the most of it.
[rebelmouse-image 18347427 is_animated_gif=But also have some fun! This may be the last time everyone around you is at the same point in their life. Get involved, meet new people!
If you can live on campus, do it. It's an amazing sense of community - plus meal points.
[rebelmouse-image 18347429 is_animated_gif=Living on campus my first three years was the greatest decision I ever made college-wise. Even at a predominantly commuter school, it is absolutely worth it.
Have a plan for when you graduate (after you've picked a major). Jobs are no longer a guarantee.
[rebelmouse-image 18347430 is_animated_gif=Understand what you want to get from it. Don't just wing it and hope there's a job for you at the end that the credentials will get you.
Don't let anyone else decide what your degree should be. It's your life.
[rebelmouse-image 18347431 is_animated_gif=As someone who has a degree they only sort of use and loathed by graduation, DO NOT get a degree for your parents. You will kick yourself for years and years to come. In my case, my student loan debt outlived the parents and now there isn't a soul alive who even cares about what I do for a living.
Do not get a degree you don't want to please someone else. They're not the ones who will have to spend the next 50 years living with it. It's also not that fun to be in your 30s and considering going back to school for a second bachelors in a field you actually want to work in.
There are other options, including but not limited to taking out loans of your own to cover your education, getting dual degrees and/or switching majors and not telling them.
Yeah, 8 am classes suck, but you gotta go, especially to lectures, where most of the course content is covered.
[rebelmouse-image 18347432 is_animated_gif=Go to class. I know its hard when attendance doesn't matter but you learn so much more in active discussions than you ever will reading the texts alone.
Easier said than done, but be careful with student loan debt. It can be crippling - and lenders aren't very forgiving.
[rebelmouse-image 18347434 is_animated_gif=Take out the least amount of loans you can. It feels like you don't have to worry about them for a long long time, but that 4.5 years goes by quick.
College can be very stressful. Find things to do to clear your head.
[rebelmouse-image 18347437 is_animated_gif=Take your mental health seriously. College has a tendency to drain you if you let it. Try to maintain fulfilling hobbies and get a good group of friends that work as a support system and have fun.
Classes don't usually meet every day, so you'll have time to spread your work out.
[rebelmouse-image 18347439 is_animated_gif=As long as you don't do everything last minute you should have plenty of time to do homework and stuff. Most classes meet only twice a week (at least for me) so you don't get s* like in high school where it's like "Here's a packet, I expect it to be done by class tomorrow morning."
Get a job. It'll help you manage your time and put money in your pocket.
[rebelmouse-image 18347440 is_animated_gif=Get a part-time job. Helps with the regularity of schedule, gives you some extra spending money, develops time management skills, and gives your resume a boost!!
College is about becoming an expert. Become an expert.
[rebelmouse-image 18347441 is_animated_gif=Try to get as much experience as you can in your given field. It will help you in the long run and not make you stress which I'm currently feeling.
There's no shame in asking for help.
[rebelmouse-image 18347443 is_animated_gif=Swallow your pride and ask for help when you need it.
While we've all seen familiar items in TV shows, or even obvious product placement, most TV shows and movies also include items that were specifically made for their story line.
Though they're meant to be fictitious, we can't lie and say that we haven't wished for some of these items to be real.
Redditor splendid_moisture asked:
"What is your favorite fictitious product from a TV show?"
Instant Toast
"As someone who doesn’t have a toaster and hates the wait time but loves toast, that instant toast-cutting knife from 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' sounds reallyyy good right about now."
- TechsSandwich
Quick-Fix Prescriptions
"'Colon Blow' from SNL (Saturday Night Live) with Phil Hartman."
- Ok_Report_6272
"Or Chris Farley’s 'Hibernol.'"
"While you sleep, living off stored body fat, the cold will run its course. In fact, many other colds and flus may come and go, but you won’t even know it, because you’re out cold!"
- Bosoxbooster
Vitameatavegamin
"Vitameatavegamin from 'I Love Lucy.'"
- Wonderful_Horror7215
"It's so tasty, too!"
- emmennwhy
"Just like candy... honest."
- spitel
"Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?"
- 1201_alarm
"Lucy, you got some 'splainin to do!"
- deadwood
Big Kahuna Burger
"The Big Kahuna Burger from 'Pulp Fiction'!?"
- naugasnake
"That's some serious gourmet s**t."
- r2mayo
"Now THAT is a tasty burger!"
- quackupreddit
Log Log Log
"'Log' from 'Ren and Stimpy.'"
- Canazabis
"What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, and over your neighbor's dog?"
- BetterThanHorus
"What's great for a snack and fits on your back?"
- WishBear19
"IT'S LOG, LOG, LOG."
- maggot_smegma
Bachelor Chow
"Bachelor Chow from 'Futurama.'"
- TheRogueToad
"When I was a bachelor, there was a time when I was like, 'I could go for that if it were a real thing...'"
- macjoven
"The way my husband ate before we got married? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he would have just bought Bachelor Chow by the case and eaten it from the can with a spoon every day. They were pretty on point with that one, lol (laughing out loud)."
- niceoldgranny
Krabby Patty
"The Krabby Patty of course."
- DarkCinnamon
"Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli."
- grantgoldenboy
"It'd probably taste bad to humans. It's made for sea creatures and is meant to be eaten underwater."
- fluffynuckels
Products from "Back to the Future"
"Hoverboards from 'Back to the Future.'"
- VodkaMargarine
"I'd actually rather have the pizza hydrator."
- Hammerheadhunter
"Those auto-tighten shoes he wears in 'Back to the Future 2' blew my little mind back in the day. They're actually a thing now."
- TripleB_Darksyde
Veridian Dynamics, Period.
"Anything from Veridian Dynamics on 'Better Off Ted.'"
- Paxil_popper
"Even the weaponized pumpkins?"
"...I sure miss 'Better Off Ted.'"
- UnitedCitizen
"'Veridian Dynamics. We're the future of food, developing the next generation of food and food-like products. Tomatoes... the size of this baby, lemon-flavored fish, chicken that lay 16 eggs a day, which is a lot for a chicken, organic vegetables chock-full of antidepressants.'"
"'At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them. Veridian Dynamics. Food. Yum.'"
- Hey_look_new
"The commercials were the best part. 'We treat our employees like family. That’s why we make them work weekends and all major holidays, because that’s when families should be together.'"
- edgestander
Also Anything by ACME
"The complete ACME line of products from 'Looney Tunes.'"
- sickelite
"Slingshot, dynamite, they've got it all!"
- Snoo-35252
An Egg Salad Sandwich
"The egg salad sandwich that Fry ate in 'Futurama' that made him smarter and muscular."
- wrexmason
"What's that black cracker? Tomato."
- Mdmrtgn
Fight Milk
"'Fight Milk' from 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.'"
- DrRonny
"I drink some every day so I can fight like a crow."
- Caiden0907
Resources from 'Star Trek'
"The replicator from Star Trek. Though not too sure if it categorizes as a product in a world without money."
- AdmiralClover
"The Holodeck!"
- sharrrper
"Yes, and the transporter... though it freaks me out."
- RhymesWithLasagna
"Even 'Star Trek' has a character who doesn't like them."
- AdmiralClover
"Totally! I get why. I've had so many conversations about it with my husband trying to understand the theory especially when the transporter pads are used vs site to site transports... And it seems to me a person is taken apart and then put back together elsewhere, and it's questionable if that's the same person really. But the convenience seems so wonderful!"
- RhymesWithLasagna
Cleaning Supplies
"Mr. Sparkle."
"It's disrespectful to dirt."
- okay_victory_yes
Getting By with a Little Help from Our Friends
"The milk spout thing that Joey was in a commercial for on 'Friends.'"
- InspectionNo9917
"ÜBERWEISS from 'Friends.' As a German, I can't stop laughing about it."
- Ser_Optimus
"Ross's sandwich from Season Five of 'Friends' that Monica saved for him. I know I could make something similar, but I want that one."
- Cho596
From food to cleaning supplies to techy gadgets, it seems most viewers have wanted something to be real from their favorite shows at some point.
Somehow, our shows would feel all the more real if we could connect through a shared object, in the way we've already shared experiences with our favorite characters.
Traditions are passed down from generation to generation and are preserved because they provide a sense of comfort.
Groups of people and families repeat time-honored customs without a compelling reason other than the fact that it's what the generation before them engaged in.
However, there are some traditions that are outdated by today's standards and are ones people could do without.
These were explored when Redditor NewImprovement1160 asked:
"What’s a tradition that you think people should get rid of?"
Cakes are meant for consuming, not this.
Unwelcome Facial
"Smashing of the face on the birthday cake."
– Arlington817
"Similarly, shoving cake in your new spouse's face during a wedding reception. I hate it."
– whomp1970
Red Flag?
"This tradition is so bad. The bride perfects her makeup and gets her face slathered with cake and can't just wash it off like a guy would."
"One of my friends was getting married and she told me she discussed the cake smashing with her fiancé before hand and explained why he shouldn't do it. When it came time, they fed each other and she dabbed a small bit of frosting on his nose; everyone laughed, it was cute."
"He was offended and tried to smash the whole plate in her face. She backed away in time and walked away; everyone was laughing...except for him. He chased her down, grabbed her by the neck, and smeared his cake all over her face. It was like watching a 10-year-old teach his 6-year-old sibling a lesson."
"She tried to laugh it off as she retreated to the bathroom for repairs, but I could tell she was seething. The room went ice-cold."
A Follow-Up
"To everyone asking if she immediately dumped him: of course not, this was a real story. They've been married for 20 years and have a couple of kids. She was 22 and poor and the hottest (horse) girl at our university, working on her Mrs. degree. He was 30 with his own business; he bought her a Porsche she uses to travel the horse jumping circuit with her daughter (and her horse). He wanted a trophy wife and she wanted to be a wealthy SAHM; they both got what they were looking for."
– abe_froman_king_saus
Redditors share trauma they've experienced when they were younger.
Borderline Abuse
"I agree so much!!! I've had a family member do it to a young child who cried. What an a**hole!"
– razometer
"I was a young child this happened to. My father's then-girlfriend (later wife, now ex-wife) smashed my face into my cake on my 6th birthday. All I remember was a ruined birthday cake and running out of the room, confused and crying. It's been nearly 30 years, and I still haven't forgiven her."
– squidgemobile
Negative Reaction
"My father in-law did it to his 12y.o. nephew. The nephew punched him in the face and then they tussled and had to be separated. Lol."
– 2ShredsUsay39
Unplanned Swim
"I hate cold water. A lot! As an adult, I can prepare for it, and just go against the grain, and make myself feel tough. But as a kid, it was just always unpleasant to me to be in cold water."
"A family friend, aware of this, threw me into a cold pool once. What the actual f'k? I cried, because I was like, 8. But a bunch of adults thought it was funny, so cool, right?"
– YossiTheWizard
Culture Clash
"I married into a Honduran family, love them all…seriously the greatest people I’ve ever met (minus Carlos..he’s a dick 🥹) and this is a huge thing that I’ve been fighting them on. Smash my kids face into their cake and you’ll be eating drywall. 😂 violent sure but I’m not kidding"
And you thought tying the knot was always a good thing.
No Other Option
"Forced marriages."
– AnnemarieOakley
"I have an Indian friend and his parents basically just sent his wife here from India and said you’re marrying her a couple years ago. I don’t understand it at all but I think they do it like a business deal back at home."
– jadedmonk
Explaining Arranged Vs. Forced Marriages
"It should be clarified in most cases there is a difference between 'arranged' marriages and 'forced' marriages. Arranged marriages are still quite common but the prospective couple each have the ability to say no. Essentially the parents are finding who they think is a good match but it’s not uncommon for either person to back out (especially these days). In the case of your friend his parents just suck."
– Fried_puri
How Deep Is Your Love...And Your Wallet?
"Super extravagant and expensive weddings."
– llcucf80
"I'll add in spending enough money to make a down payment on a car or home for an engagement ring as well."
– OkVolume1
Paying For Rites Of Passage
"Expensive wedding and funerals, specially with funerals, that person is already dead."
– ALI4MHR
"My brother was telling his wife and me about his wishes after he is gone. He wants to be cremated, his ashes thrown in a coffee tin, and then scattered in the mountains. He also does not want a funeral or memorial service. He just wants his friends and family to get trashed the very night of his passing."
– ShangLoongMa
I've always said this and believe to be true.
Tipping should no longer be customary.
People working in the service industry deserve higher wages, and it's not up to the customer to determine if a server at a restaurant will be making enough that week to put food on their own table.
Other countries don't have this tipping system and somehow I've managed to have excellent service.
There are no expectations and pressure imposed on both the server and patron.
While all couples promise that they will commit to one another "till death do us part," not all couples are able to fulfill these vows.
Sadly, some couples learn after committing to one another that they were not meant to be married, resulting in a divorce.
For most couples, it's a slow discovery, as they begin to learn more about one another, as well as themselves, eventually shedding light on the fact that they simply aren't compatible.
For others, they discovered that their marriage was beyond salvation after one, eye-opening moment.
"Divorced people of Reddit, when did you know it was over?
A Worrisome Sign Of Their Future
"When her grandma died."
"It was her dad's mom and a wonderful lady, who died peacefully."
"Her dad called me sobbing, saying he was a mess and needed someone to talk to."
"I told him I would come straight over and then called my wife."
"Her response?"
"He was being over dramatic and she was with her mom (his wife) and they were ignoring his texts and calls."
"WTF?!?! "
"His mom just died."
"He is sad and alone."
"Went over there and hung out for a while and realized that if I stayed married I was looking at my future self."
"FIL is a good guy and treated like a stray dog."
'They have separate bedrooms."
"She hates him."
"Has made their kids hate him."- _Stamos
All Take, No Give
"We went to counseling."
"She talked about the things she needed and wasn't getting."
"Counselor asked me if I could work on those."
"I said yes."
"This took the whole first session."
"Second session happens a week later."
"I talked about the things that I needed and wasn't getting."
"Counselor asked her if she could work on those."
"She kept avoiding and redirecting."
"On the drive home she said she wanted to find a new counselor, this one wasn't the right one."
"Went to a new counselor a few weeks later."
"First session was a repeat."
"So was the second."
"She said we should find a better counselor."
"I asked 'one that agrees with you?'"
"And she said yes."
"Then I was done."
"Yes, I'm doing much better now."
"We don't keep in touch, but I think she is too."
"I don't want to make it seem like she was terrible and I was a saint."
"We were a bad match."
"This was just the point I knew we couldn't fix it."- PatrickKieliszek
When You COULD Wait To See Them Again
"Driving home from work, coming around the corner, and feeling disappointment to see her car in the driveway."- lucky_ducker·
Filled Their Heart With Anything But Joy
"When I realized I was more at peace when he wasn't around."
"I was calmer, less anxious, and smiling more."
"Also, when I realized I would smother my smiles or hide happy news so he wouldn't have a chance to ruin whatever I was enjoying."- LurkSmurf
Not Their Only Love
"My ex thought I was working out of town."
"She had been having an affair for about three months and totally thought I didn’t know and she had me buffaloed."
"This was way back before cell phones, but she had been call forwarding our phone to her new boyfriends number so when I called her I would think I was reaching her at our apartment."
"I came home about 10:00 pm one evening and she wasn’t home, I called her boyfriend's number, and she answered the phone."
"I asked her what she was doing and she told me she just climbed into bed for the night, I asked her whose bed she climbed into."
"There was a long pause."
" I told her I knew what she was doing and where she was."
"The last thing I said to her was that I was leaving my wedding ring on the nightstand on her side of the bed."
"That was over 40 years ago."
"Been married to a wonderful woman for a very long time now, all is good."- wyoflyboy68
Just One Of Those Nights...
"It was weird."
"I was sitting on the couch, and she was in the recliner."
"I looked at her, and it was like I didn't even know her."
"I thought... I don't like you and I wouldn't even date you now."
"We just grew apart."
"I said, 'do you want to break up?'"
"She replied, 'I thought you'd never ask... yep. It's been over for awhile'."
"It was amicable, and we went our separate ways."
"No hard feelings it was just done."- TotalDomination1952
Sad On So Many Levels
"When he told me he married me to punish me for getting pregnant and he was going to spend the rest of his life making my life a hell because I stole his childhood."
"Friends, he was 24."- Puzzleheaded-War-113
Manipulative Games
"When she filed for divorce, but didn't actually want a divorce."
"That's when I realized I couldn't put up with any more of her sh*t."
"If she was willing to file for divorce (and thought I was going to pay for it all), I knew it had gone way too far."
"I spent the next two years trying to finalize that divorce with her trying to stay married."- Azzizzi
A Literal Sign
"Left work to drive home."
"Hour commute."
"Passed an apartment complex with a vacancy sign."
"Started thinking seriously about why I was driving home."- ReallyFineWhine
Love can be very confusing and misleading.
Sometimes, we think we're in love and discover much too late that we were wrong.
Other times, even if love was genuine, it wasn't enough to fix something which couldn't be unbroken.
Every decade we learn and grow.
Well, we hope we do.
Everything changes with the passing of time.
Sex is especially fluid.
They say the older you get the better it gets.
I'm not sure for myself, but it sounds like it's working out for a lot of other people.
20s are full of verve and energy.
30s are full of bitterness and regret from the sex in the 20s.
Though that can be hot too.
Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.