When your life truly flashes before your eyes....[rebelmouse-image 18346863 is_animated_gif=
What do you do, exactly? Just sit there and be terrified? It's scary because you probably don't know what to do. But how alone are you in having these moments?
Not very. u/9gaguserwink asked:
[Serious] People of reddit, what moment made you instantly think "This is the moment I die"?
Here were some answers.
The Road Ahead[rebelmouse-image 18347330 is_animated_gif=
It was in the mid-1980s. Riding a bicycle to work during the morning rush hour. Two lanes in the same direction, speed limit is 35. A woman pulls ahead of me and turns right. Her bumper hooked my front tire and I flew off the bike into traffic. My life did not flash before my eyes but I remember thinking, "I really don't want to die right now!" I heard tires squealing and popped up to get out of the road. The woman stopped about 20 feet down the road, got out of her car and said, "Did I hit you?" I could only numbly shake my head yes. Her response was a sing-song "Sorry". She got back in her car and drove off. I had landed on my left elbow and left hip. It was about a month before I could walk without pain.
Sage Advice[rebelmouse-image 18347331 is_animated_gif=
When I crashed my motorcycle on the Long Island Expressway going 65 MPH. As I flew over the handle bars I said to myself "well, it's been a good life". Wear a helmet tough guys.
The Helmet[rebelmouse-image 18347332 is_animated_gif=
I was wearing a helmet which saved my life. I had a sore neck and shoulders and some cuts on my chin. I rolled off the guy's trunk within inches of the cars in the next lane, but fortunately nobody hit me. I was one lucky SOB. My bike was caught in mid air between the car behind me and the idiot in front who slammed on his brakes, which is why the accident happened. My bike was totaled.
Chicken Salad Spells Doom[rebelmouse-image 18347150 is_animated_gif=
Was home alone and chocked on a bite of sandwich. Couldn't inhale, exhale, or cough for about 30 seconds before it dislodged. Seriously thought I was going to die alone eating a sandwich.
Total Luck[rebelmouse-image 18346555 is_animated_gif=
I was in Peru on the beach alone and some guys walking towards me with machetes and bandanas...not off to a great start. After they robbed me they ripped my shirt off and the leader rested his machete on my shoulder. Then they just walked away.
Lifes a little brighter every day now folks.
Lymey[rebelmouse-image 18347333 is_animated_gif=
Came down with Lyme complete with rash and fever. Got antibiotics and 12 hours later came down with a severe migraine and painful, stiff neck, and severe vertigo, and couldn't remember where I was. I don't know how I didn't die but at the time I thought I was going to and just accepted it.
Donut Take Big Bites[rebelmouse-image 18347334 is_animated_gif=
15 years old working at a Dunkin' Donuts. Choked on a strawberry sprinkled donut. Performed self Heimlich maneuver.
Flips And Motion[rebelmouse-image 18347337 is_animated_gif=
Was in the passenger seat of a GMC Chevy Trailblazer that was traveling at 90+ mph when someone pulled out in front of us and stopped. Brakes locked up, she snatched the wheel. The moment the tires left the pavement as we started our first flip, I remember thinking 'f-ck, this is it.'
We ended up on the roof, I had to climb back into the truck to drag the driver out as the ceiling was filling with gas.
I somehow walked away with only a few scratches from crawling out of the glass.
Clotted Steam[rebelmouse-image 18347338 is_animated_gif=
When I had a stroke/TIA. I had just finished a workout and was standing next to the row machine, my leg started to feel weak and I collapsed. My wife, ran over, I could barely talk, whole left side of my face was drooping, I could lift my left arm but not work my hands. Luckily it passed in 10-15 seconds, went to the hospital found out I have a PFO (hole in your heart) which is probably how the clot got through. They said I won the lottery since chances are so small for that to happen.
PB And Death[rebelmouse-image 18347339 is_animated_gif=
Used to eat peanut butter and raisins mixed together as a snack. Just spoonfuls of the mixture into my mouth.
One day it got stuck down my throat. It somehow blocked me from getting air through my nose or mouth and it literally felt like several needles had embedded themselves into my throat. It wouldn't budge no matter how much I tried to work my throat.
Panic set in and my heart felt like it would explode from pounding so hard.
When the black spots started dancing over my vision my exact thought was, "This is such a stupid way to die."
Somehow, the peanut butter glob slid down my throat far enough to suck in air through my nose, and if you can imagine it, I literally had to work my neck like a chicken to make the rest of the glob move down.
I haven't eaten the peanut butter raisin mixture in about 7 years and I never will again.
Just Casual Blowing Up[rebelmouse-image 18346351 is_animated_gif=
I got blown up.
I'm a volunteer firefighter and at a house fire, there was some kind of an explosion (likely a smoke explosion from what we could tell).
We had been there quite some time, well past the point where a backdraft would be possible...but suddenly something wasn't sitting right with me about the situation.
My partner and I were standing on the front stairs to the house. I looked at her and told her to "pack up". She asked why and I said "I don't like the look of this."
I got my mask on and was on air, turned back around and there was a wall of orange rushing towards me.
It was an explosion. It blew me out of the front door where I was standing and down the steps.
I stand 6'1 and weighed about 280 lbs at the time.
All I remember is I was looking up at the sky after having just been standing on the stairs.
I was ok for the first few minutes, but after I walked away and was alone with my thoughts, I started trembling and shaking, realizing that I came moments away from quite possibly being horribly injured or killed.
I don't know why my gut instinct told me to put my pack on, but I am so glad it did.
Destructo[rebelmouse-image 18347341 is_animated_gif=
August 13, 2004, at approximately 3:15 PM. I was living in Port Charlotte, FL, less than a mile from the gulf coast. Hurricane Charlie had made landfall, and the eye was passing over my house. I was in the bath tub, in a mason block brick house. And I could feel the entire house moving. I could feel the pressure changing. I heard destruction all around as the storm tore through the area, while the radio warned anyone in the area listening to hunker down.
I sat there waiting for the house to collapse on me. My only hope was that they found my body quickly so my mother wouldn't have to worry long if I had survived or not, because I knew any moment would be my last.
Then, the eye passed directly over. It was calm, peaceful, still. The destruction outside my home is difficult to describe, even all these years later.
Pileup[rebelmouse-image 18347342 is_animated_gif=
Driving on my old Camaro on the interstate on the left lane, I go over this long tall bridge, traffic is backed up and the line of cars ends up at the bottom of the bridge.
I'm the last car of the traffic jam, I look in the rearview mirror an 18 wheeler is coming up behind me pretty fast, brakes locked, from where I am I can see the smoke and the jitter of the cab as he's sliding, concrete divider on the left cars on the right, no way out... as I'm getting ready to brace for impact traffic starts to move, the truck didn't need to stop but it got really close to my rear bumper.
Trigger Warning: PTSD[rebelmouse-image 18347343 is_animated_gif=
1969. Vietnam. In a bunker. Next year it will be 50 years, yet I still think of it each night before I go to sleep.
How Scary[rebelmouse-image 18347344 is_animated_gif=
Snowboarding when I was 18. Took a nasty fall, my elbow hit my gut knocked the wind outta me. Kept snowboarding for an hour as my gut still hurt. Brother drove me to the emergency room. Got me on the operating table and had to take a shit. Hot nurse gets my carharts off puts a bed pan under me. Two minutes later I go blind and tell the nurse. She says "your spleen is lacerated, you're in shock and your body is shutting down." Then yells for a dose of epinephrin and says "we're losing him!"
"thats cool" came out of my mouth. This is when I knew this might be my finale. Handled it like a champ.
Doctor later told me had I showed up 10-15 minutes later they woulda lost me. Yikes.
That hot nurse who put a bed pan under me? Couple days later was on morphine and I hit on her. Told her that the fiance didn't love her as much as I would.
Tower Of Terror Turbulence[rebelmouse-image 18347345 is_animated_gif=
Had a plane get delayed for over an hour for a mechanical issue. When we were flying we hit the worst turbulence I have ever felt (and I fly more than the average bear). The plane was literally dropping and people were coming out of their chairs. I thought we were going down. I was never scared of flying before and now I always get nervous.
The Venom Spreads[rebelmouse-image 18347346 is_animated_gif=
I got bite by a water moccasin while picking up a tire on the side of highway very far from a hospital with only a slow ATV as transportation.
Farewell Ohio[rebelmouse-image 18347347 is_animated_gif=
When I was traveling North on 75 in Ohio in the middle of a snow storm surrounded by semi-trucks and everything electrical in my car died at once. I lost power steering, headlights, acceleration, everything.
Cars Are Terrible[rebelmouse-image 18347348 is_animated_gif=
Was entering the highway, doing about 55. I went to switch lanes to pass a semi and hit black ice. When I saw the median out of the windshield I knew I was f-cked. I heard, "so this is how it ends" in my head, dropped my hands into my lap and tried to relax my body just in case I lived through whatever was about to happen, but the feeling of dread and doom in my gut said this was game over.
The SUV flipped 4 1/2 times. The roof was less than half an inch from crushing my skull when it finally stopped rocking. I literally walked away from that accident though I've had physical issues with my back, neck, and head ever since. Sadly my dog was with me for that ride. He was thrown from the vehicle and severely cut up. A police officer took him to an emergency vet while I was taken to the emergency room. They had to put Bailey down. He was one of the bestest good bois. RIP pooch.
There Is A Tree Grows Aslant A Brook[rebelmouse-image 18347350 is_animated_gif=
White water rafting in Colorado.
Decided midway through to use the inflatable kayak the guide had. Was fine until literally the last set of rapids that were probably a class 4 and I'm used to about a 3.
Navigate them just fine until the last stretch that basically spins my nose and tosses me in the river. I'm instantly shocked to the bottom about 10 to 15 feet down. It was much deeper than I expected.
The second I realized I was at the bottom of the river I had one single thought cross my mind, "if you panic you die".
I've been tossed and swam in rapid before but this was something else. Had to fight to get to the surface while making sure I didn't get trapped or pinned by any rocks or debris under water.
Finally get to the surface and I'm under the kayak so can't break the surface.
Finally get the kayak out for over me and break the surface about a minute after I've been under.
I managed to collect all.my gear and the kayak, link up with my party behind me, and get to shore, all without losing the sun glasses off my head the whole time!
Once on the shore the guide asks me again if I'm okay. I say I'm fine but it was intense. He nods and asks if I think I could have done it without the life vest. I tell him maybe but it would have been much harder. He then quietly tells me a kid died in that exact spot one week ago that day.
I wasn't surprised but was spooky.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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