Clueless People Reveal What They "Claim To Understand But Don't"
There are a million things happening in the world at any given moment that baffle me completely, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. People assume that those with degrees or who had access to higher education are somehow "smarter" - pinkie swear, that's not the case. Understanding things isn't so much a matter of general intelligence. It's a matter of experience - and I have less-than-stellar experience in a whole lot of stuff that I kind of feel like I should. My ex will regale anyone who will listen about my total inability to factor taxes into a budget. I know they exist, kind of ... I just don't like them, it's extra math that I always get wrong anyway.
Ugh I feel so much better getting that off my chest. One Reddit user asked:
Reddit, what is one thing you claim to know about, but really have no idea how it actually works?
The confessions came pouring in. Spoiler Alert: The top answer, by far, was "women." I opted not to include that answer because women are people (gasp!) Here are some OTHER things people truly don't understand.
Access
Microsoft Access.
My agency will never use Microsoft access for anything since everything is ancient and they insist on using excel spreadsheets as databases, but you still need Access experience on your resume to be considered for jobs here.
Google-botics
Robots, I've been hired to build them and hired to TA high level robotics classes at my university and anytime a kid in the class asks me how to do something if I haven't done that exact thing, hell even if I have done the exact thing they are asking about I run away and google it for an hour before I help the kid.
Computer Does What?
How computers work. We can represent every single thing as some sort of number. We can represent every single number in binary. We can represent binary as on and off. We build a bunch of circuits out of sand to hold high and low voltages to represent on and off, and a couple circuits that can do basic math on binary numbers letting us get whatever number we want. We then have a bunch of code that is also just numbers that tells us what to do with our existing numbers.
What?
So Cryptic
Cryptocurrency... like, I get that the IDEA is that money shouldn't be tied to a central organization or authorization like a government and should be traded freely and securely among people that can verified on a public ledger.
But I have no idea how that happens.
Hot Steel
Heat treating tool steels. I know what will affect the toughness and warpage and brittleness but really actually have no idea what is going on in the metal.
Leagues
My wife is about three leagues above me. I can't explain it and don't know why she not only dated but married me.
How Does It Know?
Chicken / turkey pop-up timers. How the hell does that little piece of plastic know when the meat is done?
High Speed Car Action
I can build a car, fix a car, pretty much do anything to a car. But for the life of me, I don't understand how these tiny cylinders and pistons create enough pressure to turn the wheels and get the car moving really fast. Some kind of magic happens in there!
Just Sound Like You Know What You're Doing
Computers. I have a bachelors in IT and I feel like I've just convinced people more tech-ignorant than I am that I'm some kind of guru when really I don't know shit. I learned that if you know the vocabulary you can give off the impression that you know what you're doing and buy enough time to Google the issue.
My boss is out so I'm the only IT guy at my work and one of our users got their email hacked and sent a virus to all of his contacts. Some random executive at another company called me up and started demanding that I do forensics on the virus to see what files it changed and to remove it from his computer because it was my responsibility, even though he clicked on the attachment and wasn't running any antivirus.
He started getting more aggressive, sounding as if he was going to sue our company, so I panicked and started explaining the virus as if he was another technical guy. "Uhh well getting a forensic analysis of the file would cost tens of thousands of dollars... The code is obfuscated so you would need a professional technician to reverse engineer the file to see exactly what the code executes. From what I've observed, it looks like it's just trying to phish your email information, and it doesn't appear to be ransomware or anything too destructive." He went quiet for a little bit and then said **"I.. err.... appreciate you going to.. security conferences and keeping up to date on viruses. I will run a scan on my PC and update my passwords as you recommended thanks for giving me a call." **
I never heard from him again.
There are some truly strange laws depending on where you go. Here is a list of the weirdest ones.
U/Bone_Donor asked: What is the stupidest law where you live?
Did you know that murder is allowed in certain instances, depending on where you go? Talk about scary.
I’m sure no one will test these laws.
Not sure how much of it is true. But apparently if the Swedes cross the border by walking over the ice given its frozen over, (which it hasn't in like more than 100 years) we are allowed to kill them.
There's an old law in York in the UK that says if a Scotsman is within the city walls after sundown you can kill them with a longbow. I assume no one has tested the law for a while.
The exact gates they have to be within are defined but I don't remember what they are.
Dying is illegal in France.
Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyOh boy. France has some history and a love of regulation. Perfect mix for absurd laws. Quick examples:
It's still technically mandatory to have hay at home in case the king's horse is nearby and needs some... Horses have been a pretty rare sight, let alone kings.
A mayor made it illegal to die in his town. The initial problem was an overcrowded cemetery, but he kinda reached the wrong solution.
This probably isn’t enforced anymore.
There is a medieval law here that has never been repealed: all males over the age of 14 are required by law to practice longbow for at least two hours per week.
Some of these laws are so silly, they make you wonder what event happened that put them in place.
I think everyone has done this.
"Forbidden to pee in the ocean". I live in Portugal.
'Like a piss in the ocean' is literally a euphemism for something not mattering. What's the problem?
Tigers are fine, though.
film history GIF by DiggGiphyIt's illegal to bring a lion to the movies.
Somebody better have a conversation with MGM.
Define “suspiciously”.
You can't carry a salmon suspiciously.
"Sir, what were carrying this salmon close to your body? Were you going to use it as a weapon?"
"No officer, I was going to eat it later"
"Seems suspicious you were carrying it around in public. I'm gonna have to take you in for questioning."
"Nuuuuu!"
What is the backstory here?
It's illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors here.
I know this is Pennsylvania, but I forget the exact reasoning, but I think it has something to do with homeless people.
These next few laws will definitely make you question these towns’ legitimacy when it comes to lawmaking.
Poor raccoons.
raccoon stealing GIFGiphyIn Virginia, it's illegal to "hunt or kill any wild bird or wild animal, including any nuisance species" on Sundays. However, it is permissible to kill raccoons.
How the heck is this enforced?
I don't know if this is still a thing anymore, but in Texas it used to be illegal to own more than six dildos.
It's illegal to own any at all in Alabama unless the owner has a letter from a doctor claiming a legitimate medical need.
Granted, most of these laws were written a very long time ago. But it makes you wonder, what the heck were these original lawmakers doing? And what event happened that needed these laws to be enforced at all?
If some of these laws don't make you want to be a criminal, then I don't know what will