We tend to think of death as kind of a permanent thing. Even people who believe in reincarnation think of it as coming back to a different body and a different life. But sometimes, a person will fall so ill or be so gravely injured that they die - but only for a little while.
It's those cases, when death is less than permanent, that we are going to talk about today.
In October of 2018 my whole household got sick. We still don't know what caused it, but everyone came down with what one doctor eventually called "sudden group pneumonia. maybe."
My eldest child ended up in the hospital for a week with Kawasaki's, which up until that point I thought was a dirt bike or something. A few days after she came home my health took a sharp decline and I ended up losing my pregnancy.
It took a ridiculous amount of time to get the medical help I needed due to my state's abortion laws and federal abortion rules for medicaid (Did you know it still "counts" as an abortion if the child is already deceased?) A little over a week later I was finally able to get the procedures I needed.
They did not go well. Pneumonia and genetic disorders do not play well with anesthesia. I woke up a lot. And then I didn't.
From my perspective, it felt like a restless sleep, good sleep, struggling to wake up because good sleep was good and omg everyone shut up, and then having my eyes flutter open to see more people than usual (this was far from my first surgery) around me and they all had very straight, tense mouths.
That's it.
I later found out one of the nurses yelled at my partner for not telling them I had pneumonia. He had told them. So had I. And it was in the chart.
I think the nurse was just stressed out by the experience (it had been a grueling and lasted about 20 hours at that point) and snapped at him. Nearly losing a patient who shouldn't have been in an emergency situation has got to be trying.
There had been chaos and tension trying to get me back, and I was obviously in the room for it, but experienced none of it. I just felt like a restless, tired body trying to get some damn sleep and these loud kids won't get off my lawn.
One Reddit user asked:
and yeah... other people were way less "get off my lawn" about almost dying.
For some it was a profound experience that changed them - and I mean really changed them, one person forgot how to speak languages they were fluent in before. For others it was nothing.
What do you hope your experience will be like?
Confidence Is Key
GiphyI fell 3 stories back on the 80's. Broke my sternum, most of ribs on my right side, my right arm, femur where the hip joint is and fractured my pelvis in many places.
I was alert while the fire department cut the fence down so the ambulance could get me out of the courtyard I was in. Also most of the ambulance ride. I knew I was in deep sh~t when the paramedic told the driver that I was code____ unknown and to redirect to another hospital.
I remember the paramedic trying to keep her balance while she was pulling stuff out of the upper cabinets because the ambulance was swaying real hard now.
Everything became really peaceful. I was now observing everything from a different angle. As if I was above and to the right of myself.
I came too while a surgeon was sewing my left eyelid back on. As it was partially torn off when I hit something on the way down.
He asked me how I felt, and seemed very curious if I saw anything.
I died in the ambulance that day. Shock is hell of a thing.
It changed my life in so many ways. I became much more happy.. I don't sweat the small stuff as much. It also somehow made me more confident.
A Soundproof Room
So let me preface this by saying I'm immuno compromised and that's why things went bad fast.
A few years ago I got an abscess in my lower back and about 4 hours after I started showing symptoms (fever, site inflammation, pain, etc.) I started going septic while waiting in the ER. Just started REALLY feeling like sh!t.
After being admitted and already started on some hardcore broad spectrum antibiotics, I just wasn't getting better. In fact I was getting worse, and I felt awful and it hurt so badly, but nothing showing up on CAT, MRI, or X-Ray to suggest an abscess. So they thought it was a skin infection.
About 3 days in, packed with ice bags, my temp was 104.7 and my organs were starting to shut down. It was weird because I went from feeling the most miserable I've ever felt, to peace, calm, pain free, and quiet. I couldn't hear anything. Like I had just been put in a soundproof room.
I could still see my wife, my Mom, and siblings and they started panicking. (I didn't know at the time but my heart was going into a weird rhythm or something along those lines) I just closed my eyes like I was just gonna take a nap.
Remember just feeling like "I've had a good life" and only being sad I was leaving my wife behind because we had only been married 3 years at this point.
Remember seeing almost like a foggy haze, like you see in movies where they're by the docks early morning.
Remember being told "Not yet." by a figure in the fog.
Woke up a couple hours later and apparently they got me back and also gave me emergency surgery as the surgeon had a hunch where the abscess was even though charts didn't show anything. Spent an entire month in the hospital recovering. Bandage changes were a bitch because it was so deep.
Thanks to that surgeon and rest of the staff I'm still here today!
Cease To Be
I woke up during surgery once and drowned in my own blood, I was clinically dead for about 3 minutes. I didn't see/hear anything. When I woke up I was totally unaware that anything had happened.
To me, everything had gone as planned and I had just woke up as planned. If it wasn't for the extra nurses/doctors around me, I'd have never known anything had gone wrong.
This is why I don't believe in heaven or hell. When we die, we simply cease to be.
- cOnsumTs
Blissful
When I was really young I went to a church party at a pastors house and went off the diving board to look cool in front of big kids.
Well, I couldn't swim so I immediately sank. I kept breathing in water every time I surfaced, then I remember feeling really tired and really calm. I looked towards the surface and saw it get further and further away everything grew dark.
Weird to say, but it was blissful. I felt nothing then remember hacking my lungs out, and nothing in between. Kid saw me and rushed over.
I don't remember being pulled out or the mouth to mouth, all I remember is coughing violently.
- John7763
I have drowned as well, and it was an incredible sense of euphoria and peace and acceptance. I think back to that moment often. There was no fear, no pain, no anxiety, just the warm hug of the water.
An Insufferable Bible Basher
GiphyWhen I was 7, I choked on a hot dog at a backyard BBQ. Because I was quietly sitting by myself in a corner, reading, nobody noticed me until I was already on the ground and blue.
My uncle pretty much shoved his whole hand down my throat to get the food out, then did mouth to mouth and cpr for 2 minutes until I was conscious. I slipped in and out if consciousness for the whole ambulance ride to the hospital, and I remember feeling like the oxygen mask was choking me, and fighting the EMTs who strapped me to the board. I spent the night in the hospital, with a concussion.
My grandmother fainted and hit her head when she thought I was gone, and they let us stay in a room together. She taught me how to play Gin that night.
Anyway, my strongest memory is feeling the world slip away from me. I was frozen, I knew that I was going to die and I was too scared to move. My whole family was on the other side of the yard, and it felt like I was being pulled away from them into nothingness.
I don't remember any bright lights or anything like that, what I remember most is a sudden burst of noise. It was total silence and then sudden screaming and crying. I think that was the scariest thing of all, to wake up to the sound of both of my parents and even my super stoic grandfather just wailing.
I was very religious as a kid, and I think it pushed me over into a zealotry that lasted pretty much until puberty, when I decided that I liked boys more than Jesus. I was afraid that if I so much as told a fib, I would die and not get to spend eternity in paradise with my family (we were Jehovah's Witnesses).
And I was all up in everyone else's business, too, because I wanted to be sure we were all free of sin so we could be together if one of us suddenly dropped dead or if Armageddon came. I'm atheist now, so obviously it didn't stick, but I was an insufferable Bible basher for my entire childhood, basically, as a direct result of a stupid piece of hot dog.
- MrsABCDE
It Was Nothing
It was nothing. I overdosed. All I remember is right before and then waking up in the ambulance. It was just like sleeping.
Same. I've overdosed and it's exactly like falling asleep. You don't remember the exact moment you fall into sleep, you sort of just drift into the darkness. Kinda the best way to go In my opinion... until they hit you with the narcan and you freeze to death.
Collective Knowledge
I died on the operating table. I was awake (emergency C-section) an artery was severed, I bled out. I knew instinctively I was dying. I heard myself flat line. There was this strange sensation like a suction pulling me out of myself, I saw my body, lifeless, masked doctors and nurses rushing about and then there was darkness.
I was aware that I was no longer an individual, but part of something so much bigger, there was no fear or pain, I was at peace. I knew as if being told, but not in words, almost a collective knowledge, that I had a choice to remain in that peace or to go back into my body.
As soon as I thought of my children, I was pushed violently back into my body, it seemed smaller than before, all the fear and pain rushed back.
I am very different.
I have lost so much language. I can only speak English now, before I died I spoke German, Latin, and French in addition to my native tongue.
I had a photographic memory, also lost.
I also spent over a year in physical therapy. My body and brain have never fully recovered and it's been over 2 decades since my experience.
For a long time I thought my condition was punishment for rejecting Heaven. I have suffered chronic illness, autoimmune disorder, crushing depression, but I am still here.
There is more to this existence than I can understand. Love with your soul, in the grand scheme of things love is the only thing that matters,. Love is stronger than death. Love is the reason I came back. I am kinder now more patient.
What I lost was so little compared to what I have gained. It took death to teach me how to live.
- VeganMon
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Conor Mckenna Influencer GIF by FoilArmsandHogGiphyWork/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyHAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Roommates Move In GIF by James Madison UniversityGiphySome People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by Fighting Illini AthleticsGiphySchool Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
animation domination calendar GIF by gifnewsGiphyLiving in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...