If you or anyone you know has ever gone to law school, you understand that person essentially disappears for a few years. The work load is insanely heavy and difficult, the classes are next to impossible, and socializing becomes a strategic career move. One Reddit user's already clingy boyfriend isn't adjusting well to the change at all and she isn't sure how to help him - or if she even should.
Here's her initial post ... as she warns you, it's a long one:
I'm gonna preface that I am a mix of exhausted, stressed out and generally overwhelmed. It's gonna be lengthy.
I've [22F] have been with my BF [21M] for over two and half years and for the most part the relationship has been rather low turbulence in comparison to my prior relationships. We met in my sophomore year of college and his freshman year when I was only a few months off a break up. I initially wanted nothing to do with him and was not willing to date what so ever. My breakup had been truly awful and I was just really starting to get on my feet. He persisted for about a month before I agreed to go on a break up.
For the majority of our relationship, he's been incredibly doting and supportive. But I would be lying to say if that doting didn't spiral into obsessiveness and clinginess. The majority of our fights have been over the fact that I need space, as I'm a fairly independent person. I didn't want to be together 24/7 and he really struggled with that once the honey moon phase was over. But eventually, he seemed to get better about it and it was tolerable.
As we've dated, I discovered that while he has a generous and kind heart, he can be incredibly immature. He can't manage to show up in a timely fashion for anything, can't keep a part time job and whines the moment he isn't entertained (i'm sure this is part of the current problem) for example. Just lots of little immature and generally exhausting things to deal with. Once again, he's made progress in the past that it reach a tolerable level.
He is also whole heartedly way too reliant on me. Stupid shit like "Should I go grocery shopping right now or go to the gym?" And i'm like, "Why does my opinion matter? This isn't something I should have an opinion in." Because it's really not. What would happen whenever I refused to answer is he just wouldn't do either option and just lay around all day. It's ridiculous, annoying and has been a constant problem in our relationship.
I will lend that the majority of my friends and family love him. He's super easy to get along with, is always willing to jump in and help, and fits in really well with my crowd. The general consensus is that he comes off a bit immature but he's always friendly and kind. My mom in particular is really fond of him, which makes this whole mess a bit frustrating.
Right now, I'm two weeks into Law School and the relationship seems to be self combusting.
I've been wanting to go to Law School for the past two years and I've been incredibly vocal and driven about this. It's non-negiotable to me that i'm going and that this is a priority to me. He has always been incredibly supportive and very, "Whatever you need just let me know." Sounds great, right? I had zero idea that this was going to be such an insane and rocky start.
I spend probably 6-8 hours a day just studying, reading and doing school related things where I am not checking my phone or social media. I just don't have time, brain cells or energy for it. When I go to school, I disable the wifi on my laptop and turn my phone off so that I can try to focus. I absolutely let him know that I was becoming less and less available out of sheer survival. I'm trying to make myself a future, I really am. Well this is absolutely not going well on his end. In a 36 hour period, he texted me "What are you doing" 17 times. 17 bloody times. I was texting him plenty in those 36 hours, but for example I would turn off my phone for class from 8-12. When I would get back, I would have 3-5 messages of "Hey, what are you doing?" half hour chunk of time, "What r u up to?" and so forth. I ended up face timing him and was like this is unreasonable, unhealthy and needs to stop immediately. He seemed to hear it but a few days later, he's back at texting me several times a day to ask what i'm doing.
Don't get me wrong - I get that I'm the one who change here.
I went from being available almost all the time, to basically not available at all. I get it. It sucks, i'm aware. I'm also changing as a person because I have to be more responsible, more mature and more scheduled then ever before. But i'm also being very very forthcoming about the fact that this is what I need to do to survive law school. I'm only a few weeks in and this is really hard and taking some adjusting. Every day I get a better handle on things, but i'm still adjusting to the learning curve of just the giant work load. I physically and mentally can't be more available to him then I am at this moment.
Plus, I just don't want to be.
Every time i've talked to him in the last 10 days we've gotten into a fight. Everything from a full blown fight to passive aggressive squabbles. It's reached the point that the moment he starts being passive aggressive, I just say I have to go and hang up. I'm so brain dead that staring at a wall and doing nothing is actually relieving, I don't have the energy to constantly fight with him and deal with passive aggressive comments. He's like, "Why don't you FaceTime me more often?" Because every time we talk, we fight or you harass me about when is the next time we are going to see each other. On that note, he is not in class this past week and wanted to know if he could come up and stay in my new apartment for my first week of law school. I said heck no. I genuinely am gone all day, i'm exhausted and I need to be making friends with my colleagues and adjusting to my new city and life.
This didn't settle well and he's asked probably every other time we've talked about when he can come visit. I genuinely can't even gather the free brain cells to think about what to have for dinner, let alone when I can squeeze in time for a visitor and the amount of pre-work I would have to do.
I guess what i'm failing to get at, is i'm trying to decide how long I should give him to adjust before I call it. Our relationship has problems naturally. I don't enjoy who I am around any more because the little things of his personality really get under my skin and it just makes me cranky. This is just becoming more and more irritated by law school and he's sorta combusting.
If you read this entire thing, thank you and you are wonderful person.
tl:dr I went off to law school and became rather unavailable every day. Boyfriend, who was already clingy, is self combusting and picking fights.
Reddit was ready with some hard truth. (Some comments have been edited for clarity.)
Reflection On YouGiphy
I am currently a 3L and I just have one more thing to add. If you choose to continue dating your boyfriend, be cognizant that, should you work at a firm your 2L summer, he will likely be invited to events with you. If he behaves immaturely, shows up late, etc., these things will all reflect on you.
Just food for thought. I had this specific realization this past summer - I deeply appreciated my current boyfriend for being someone I could be proud of, and realized my exes would not have fit that bill.
This Is About You And You Alone
Law school is not easy-congrats on making it there! His lack of adjustment is not your problem to fix. Prioritize yourself and protect the time you need to do well in your classes.
I dealt with a similar dynamic with my husband when I started medical school. Ultimately, I just shared my calendar with him, including all my classes, skills labs, research team meetings, and independent study sessions. Once he realized how busy I actually was, things changed drastically and he began taking care of himself and helping me out more. However, if you have any shred of doubt that your partner will do the same, it's time to move on. Graduate school is no time for manchildren- this is about you and you alone achieving your dreams.
Relationships Generally Don't Survive Law School
Just call it now. I went to law school. Literally every single couple (that wasn't already married) broke up the first year except 1 and they had been together 7 years already. Even a few married people got divorced. Relationships do not generally survive the first year of law school, and all signs point to this one being on its way out the door anyways. Sucks, but it's going to suck more later.
Rip Off That Band-AidGiphy
As someone who went to law school and let it drag on too long with my college boyfriend before ending things, rip off that band-aid now. First year is by far the hardest year of your law education and you're doing the right thing by dedicating yourself to your studies. Your grades are so important that year and will follow you when you start applying for clerkships and jobs. You're not in the wrong here, but neither is your boyfriend. I'm sure this change is super hard on him, and the break up will be hard too.
Just keep in mind, you can't provide him with what he needs now. You can't be a great partner. Right now. The spouses and partners of my friends in law school actually had a weekly "support group" because they were so ignored the first year (by support group, it was a weekly session of drinking wine and hanging out. I'm sure lots of venting went on too.) It's ok to end things and focus on your work. This doesn't make you a bad person. You sound like my college boyfriend and me, which is you've outgrown each other. There's nothing wrong with that.
Update: Pulled The Plug
I decided to take a week to let things settle in even further. I made it explicitly clear that his behavior wasn't ok and we needed a change if this relationship was going to survive. Verbally he was on board, but after 24 hours it really fell apart.
Tonight, I pulled the plug. It was hard, and awful because I do love him and I will always love him but we are no longer in love. He asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted him to be ok with less communication and be confident in our relationship, so that I could be at school guilt free. I asked him what he wanted, and he said he wanted more of my time, communication and energy.
His wants had nothing to do with what was best for me, or would make me happiest.
That was really hard to hear and we both cried for a while when I pointed that out. He understood, he saw it coming and he didn't beg or fight it. We just cried.
So anyway, I wanted to say thank you to EVERYONE who reached out to me. Seriously, it made me feel like I was actually in control of the situation and not crazy for walking away. Thank you for being a community that validates others feelings and is honest and truthful.
Now, I'm gonna go shower and watch stupid shows on netflix.
TL:DR Broke up with my boyfriend when he couldn't adjust to the lack of free time I now had in law school.
Easier When You're Angry
It's hard because it's easier to break up with anger against the other person for being so unreasonable/immature/bad etc. Its harder when it's just a compatibility issue. But when you think about it...you started dating the person for a reason. While obviously lots of people get bamboozled by manipulative people, just as many people date and there's nothing more to it than it just doesn't work out. Not every break up needs to be because there is something wrong with one of the given parties.
Takes a lot of maturity to make that kind of honest change.
An Inspiration Not A HypocriteGiphy
I didn't read the first post, so I initially commented calling the original poster a hypocrite. So many people pointed out things that I missed that proved how wrong I was. I'm going to highlight a few things from her previous post that further clarifies the situation:
He can't manage to show up in a timely fashion for anything, can't keep a part time job and whines the moment he isn't entertained
He is also whole heartedly way too reliant on me. Stupid shit like "Should I go grocery shopping right now or go to the gym?" And i'm like, "Why does my opinion matter? This isn't something I should have an opinion in." Because it's really not. What would happen whenever I refused to answer is he just wouldn't do either option and just lay around all day.
In a 36 hour period, he texted me "What are you doing" 17 times. 17 bloody times. I ended up face timing him and was like this is unreasonable, unhealthy and needs to stop immediately. He seemed to hear it but a few days later, he's back at texting me several times a day to ask what i'm doing.
Every time i've talked to him in the last 10 days we've gotten into a fight. Everything from a full blown fight to passive aggressive squabbles. It's reached the point that the moment he starts being passive aggressive, I just say I have to go and hang up. I'm so brain dead that staring at a wall and doing nothing is actually relieving, I don't have the energy to constantly fight with him and deal with passive aggressive comments. He's like, "Why don't you FaceTime me more often?" Because every time we talk, we fight or you harass me about when is the next time we are going to see each other.
wanted to know if he could come up and stay in my new apartment for my first week of law school. I said heck no. I genuinely am gone all day, i'm exhausted and I need to be making friends with my colleagues and adjusting to my new city and life. ... This didn't settle well and he's asked probably every other time we've talked about when he can come visit. I genuinely can't even gather the free brain cells to think about what to have for dinner, let alone when I can squeeze in time for a visitor and the amount of pre-work I would have to do.
With all of that in mind, OP absolutely did the right thing, and it couldn't have been any more timely.
The way I see it, he wasn't getting something he wanted from her, so he was resorting to passive-aggressive behavior in an attempt to shame her into sacrificing all of her independence, her ambition, and her attempts to make a life for herself in order to lavish him with as much attention as he wanted. No matter how you look at it, this is emotional manipulation, plain and simple. Either he is hopelessly naive or consciously malicious, because no one in their right mind would think that forcing the one you love to return from 8 long hours of non-stop studying to over a dozen texts asking where they've been is in any way benign, especially after it's been warned against in the past.
Even if you take the former optimistic answer that he's just an idiot, it is still completely and utterly unacceptable, and he has a lot of learning to do before he's ready for another relationship. But if you take the more cyncical latter answer, she didn't just escape an overly-attached boyfriend; she deftly evaded a malicious attempt to drag her into an endless cycle of abuse.
Either way, OP saw it for exactly what it was and she would not have any of it. She asserted her agency, and it shouldn't just be accepted, but celebrated.
Like, goddamn. If only more women (and men!) had her willpower and foresight. If more abusers were more conscious (or caring) of the pain they were inflicting upon the ones they supposedly loved. And if only we, us so-called "relationship experts", would do more to empower the victims of abuse, instead of criticizing them for not being "more understanding" or "more patient" for the benefit of their abusers.
Thank you to everyone who was willing to confront me with what I was doing. And to OP, I'm so sorry. You are not a hypocrite. You're an inspiration.
More Than Most Can Give
You did the right thing. Your ex texted you "what are you doing" 17 times in 36 hours and couldn't go grocery shopping without asking you first. He wasn't just asking for more communication on a reasonable level. He was asking for more than most people who aren't going to law school can give.
Never Going To Get Any Better
Coming from a lawyer, you did the right thing. The legal profession will demand just as much of your time as law school. So, this issue was never going to get any better. Best of luck!
Learning How To "Do" Law SchoolGiphy
I'm a lawyer and lots of relationships don't survive law school. It is intense and demanding and it takes serious commitment and understanding from the non-law school partner to survive it. I always felt bad for my friends' spouses who would come out to dinner or drinks with a bunch of law students and we would talk about nothing but law school. It had to have been annoying and exhausting for them.
Take this time to be single and focus on school. Learning how to "do" law school is the hardest part of the first year - years 2 and 3 were much easier for me. Good luck!
We often find ourselves having to guess how to make things work and make things fit--in our lives, but also just in our possessions. Will these pants fit me? These shoes?
Will this screw fit my table? Will this charger fit my phone?
If everything was somehow standard, wouldn't it all be so much easier?
Here were some of those answers.
No More Vanity Sizes
Sizes for clothing.
Especially for shoes. How hard would it be to just list the sizes in centimeters (or inches if you're American)?
WHY DO WE USE STANDARD MEASUREMENTS FOR OUR CLOTHES, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES IN DIFFERENT BRANDS???
Calvin Klein's men's slacks: 32'' waist
Bar III men's slacks: 32'' waist
Perry Ellis slacks: 32'' waist
THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT WAIST SIZES. WHYY?!?!?!?!
Ah Yes, Three Chilis
There's a standard for chili heat levels (the Scoville scale), but food manufacturers never use it. Instead, they use a varying number of chili icons which mean nothing at all.
It's always fun going to like a Thai restaurant in Canada and trying to figure out whether the chili icon means Thai spicy or Canadian spicy.
Ah Yes, This Could Kill Me
Household electrical voltages and sockets.
Interestingly enough, there was an attempt: since 1986, there is an international standard socket, IEC 60906-1. However, only South Africa has implemented it so far.
And it is unlikely it will ever be implemented in other countries, as the EU is even advising against it since 2017:
REFIT found that "the harmonisation of plug and socket outlet systems in Europe, by introducing changes in national wiring legislations (would have) important transitional periods (above 75 years)", and that the cost to "replace the old socket-outlets (and the corresponding plugs of the appliances being used)" was estimated at 100 billion Euro, "generating a huge environmental impact, producing some 700 000 tons of electrical waste". REFIT does not recommend harmonising the plugs and socket-outlet systems in Europe.
Can we just get a little consistency here? Please?!
After working in a grocery store, can diameters should only come in a maybe 4 sizes. And they should all stack.
But they don't. They never do.
I feel your pain. I hate those narrow jars and cans that are slightly narrower than 3 wires of the shelf so they tip over if you don't place them perfectly.
A Computer Mouse, Not A Little Baby Mouse
Modern rechargable batteries.
We spent years with standard size batteries. We are now stuck with proprietary batteries which aren't designed to be user replaceable and often dictate the life of the device.
Yes absolutely. I found this fact especially annoying when looking for a mouse. Most of the more expensive mice come with rechargeable batteries, and it seems that modern tech reviewers are claiming this is better than some standard double A.
All Standard, Yet None Standard
I worked in a hardware store long enough to learn that apparently everything is standardized.
"I need window screens."
Okay, what are your dimensions?
"It's a standard size window."
"I'm looking for a replacement ceiling fan."
Okay, do you want small blades, large blades? A modest 30" span or a robust 56"?
"Just standard size."
"Do you think this large, bulky, cumbersome commodity will fit in my vehicle?"
I don't know. How big your truck?
"It's a standard one."
protip: it's a sedan. it's always a sedan.
Welp, Here's Your Problem
Based on years of helping my Dad in his shop, doing bodywork on vehicles - fastenings. Bolts, screws. rivets, clips... the sheer amount of specialized fastenings and required tools is insane. Even the variety of types in single vehicles is excessive.
Not to mention many of them are so cheaply made that there is no reusing them.
So Many Sign Languages
Not necessarily something that should be standardised because it would affect many cultures negatively, but I've always wondered what it would be like if every country just spoke one language. Sign language should probably be standardised, but re-learning sign language for people who use it may be difficult and time-consuming
Perhaps We Need To Rethink Policing
Police responses to missing persons across the nation, and the information requirements for police reports to be filled out with specific and complete information at the first point of contact by the person reporting the missing person, regardless of the age, status, or suspected reason for disappearing.
Police should NEVER be allowed to decide a case isn't valid at the first point of contact.
A Recipe For A Lint Fire
The laundry exhaust receptacle in homes should be centered exactly eighteen inches (45.7cm) from the floor with eighteen inches (or 45.7 cm) of clearance on both sides.
The exhaust duct of a clothes dryer should be in the middle of the back of the machine, and centered eighteen inches/45.7 cm from the floor. The dryer should have adjustable feet to allow for slight errors in measurement.
Once this is done, a laundry dryer can be pushed into the wall and we won't need to craft a length of ducting to connect the two.
Just a little bit of sameness and consistency could really go a long way here.
Some things ought not be tried again.
Sure, they made sense the first time. It may have held charm, at least some sense of purpose on the second go around. But eventually, surely, an essential truth became clear: never again.
Reddit is apparently crawling with people carrying around that permanent grudge towards some thing they've done in the past.
Lucky for us, we can learn from their mistakes.
senorllama57 asked, "What is something you will never do again?"
There were, of course, plenty of people who discussed horrible jobs they've held in the past. They may have had little choice at the time, but now that it's all in the past they feel free to share how they really felt.
The Customer Always Seems To Be Wrong
"Work retail. I think every kid fresh out of high school should work a retail job for a year. It builds character." -- ProfessionalTheme415
"How did you get out!?! Lol. It's like a black hole where I work. Everyone that tries to leave comes back." -- threebillion6
A Lot Going On
"Work in a nursing home. The sights, screams and pleas Will haunt me forever." -- M_Lamora
"Honestly working in a nursing home was one of the most weird jobs I ever had. I've never been threatened so many times in my life. I once had a memory care resident ask me if I would help her jump a caregiver."
One After Another
"Work in a call center." -- Evilsmurfkiller
"Sucked the soul right out of me within a year." -- Bandana-mal
"I was at one for 2 and half years and it was not until I left I realized I had work-related depression. I was overeating, not eating, sleep deprived, slept all the time, I had such rage that would come out at times...
"I did not care what happened to me, I left because they were gonna fire me over something dumb because they just fire people for being there long. I left over a year ago, and I have not been this happy to wake up every day in years, my life is so much better now." -- UnusualLight0
Others discussed past struggles they've encountered within the romantic realm. Unfortunately, these lessons came with plenty of emotional struggle.
"Get married. It'll be 19 years this August and my marriage is my marriage. I reserve the right to have a girlfriend at some point if she passes away before I do, but she's the one and only wife, end of story."
"Ignore red flags when talking to someone I want to date. I've done it twice now, and both times sucked" -- YareYareYandere
"Listen to your gut. If something feels off, you're probably not imagining it." -- SurealGod
Don't Forget About You
"Okay first off I'm sorry if this might sound cringe :D . . . That would be hmm become too attached/codependent on a person. Whether it may be of a lover, friend, or just acquaintance."
"Idk if it's coincidence but they either end up gone one day or become total di**s when you least expect it and I'm forced to cut ties."
And some people chose to recall the things they were so certain would be fun and enjoyable, but turned out to be so not.
A Bad Ratio
"I made a super elaborate meal once. It was ... okay. Certainly not worth the effort involved." -- Astramancer_
"Take an hour to make something, only takes 15 minutes to eat. It's bullsh**." -- SurealGod
Hours and Hours
"Times Square on New Years' Eve. It was fun once, never need to do it again." -- AnswerGuy301
"I was going to answer the same thing. It seemed like it would be so much fun but now that I know what it entails — never again" -- hi_its_me
"I have never been and never understood the attraction of waiting for hours and hours in the shivering weather." -- amrodd
Think of Grease Splatters
"Prepare steaks when drunk" -- Kiaulunne
"Not for your reason, but same here. Cooked one at 2am after half a bottle of rum. Quickly ate and passed out after. Woke up around 8am dying for water and realised I left the gas stove on... So glad nothing burned down..." -- schofield101
"I will never get drunk again. Tipsy, buzzed, sure. Thats fine."
"But when I was in front of that toilet for an hour, being so weak I couldn't even sit up, having people constantly come in to check on me, worrying that I might have alcohol poisoning, that is exactly not a fun time"
So take some notes! Or maybe there were some true horrors you went through that this list seems to be lacking.
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You know what they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Because the people who have our best interests in mind typically have good intentions when they give us advice, but there's a chance that that advice can go horribly wrong.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.frustrated workplace GIFGiphy
"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
This won’t end well.A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy
In the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.
Buying a house is tricky.for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy
"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run
Every once in awhile, somebody comes along, enters your life, and catapults themselves to that awful, unique position at the top of your list of the worst people you have ever met.
Sometimes, the person's blindingly terrible behavior and overall essence is actually impressive. We ask ourselves, "how could a person like this actually exist on purpose?"
Alas, they do. And you have to deal with them. Or, if your lucky, you can carve out some distance.
Redditors shared descriptions of the worst people they've ever had the misfortune to meet. Some have escaped the relationship. Some are are still stuck in the clutches.
LoneStar202 asked, "Who is the worst person you have ever met?"
Some chose to talk about the acquaintances they simply couldn't help but encounter. External circumstances beyond their control made the stars align in the worst way possible.
Keeping the Peace
"There was this guy who used to come into the McDonald's where I did security overnight (yes, that's a job), and he was the biggest ahole I've ever met in my life."
"Ginger, 5'6 or so, named Colby, had a perpetual scowl on his face, looked for any reason to start a fight with anyone. He and his friend would come in when it's super busy, not order, and then yell at the staff that he paid and wasn't given a receipt in the hopes that they'd give him free food rather than deal with him."
"I kicked him out for six months on two separate occasions for coming in drunk and throwing things, drinking beer in the restaurant, starting fights, you name it. Only got in my face once and I never had to fight him, but I'm much bigger than him and the law is on my side."
"Not that I would necessarily have won. I'm big and strong, but I have no idea how to fight and he did. I called his bluffs because I was pretty sure he wouldn't attack me and he didn't."
"Funny, I just realized I've finally forgotten his last name. Not that I'd mention it. He might be less of a @ss now and he's no longer my business."
You Know 'Em
"I work with a real life, archetypal, Karen. She's two-faced, mean, anti-vax, and just generally the whole nine. The first interaction I ever had with her she had to make fun of me behind my back for being a dude with earrings."
"Recently kicked up a stink by making an 'anonymous' email address and emailing our HR department saying people were discriminating against folks not getting the covid vaccine.
"Luckily she's burned too many bridges for anyone to really take her crazy anymore but man is she frustrating to deal with."
Others discussed the family members that, for obvious reasons, they were forced to put up with for years and years. But even family isn't enough to keep a person like that around.
Marrying Into It
"It sounds cliche, but my ex-MIL. What made her the worst is that she was a covert POS."
"We always lived about 1k miles from them, so I didn't pick up on it for far, far too long, but goddamn, I've never met anyone with as much unacknowledged hate and cruelty in their heart."
A Thing of the Past
"My father. Cheater, never paid child support, verbally abusive to my mother, sister and I. Just all around bad dude."
"Haven't talked to him in about 15 years and am 100% ok with that."
So Many Problems
"My brother. He's like a cross between Kramer (Seinfeld, 'my newest thing' and mannerisms) and Frank from Its Always Sunny (illegal activity and completely illogical 'logic')."
"He's ripped me off for thousands of dollars (getting close to 5 figures). Constantly stealing anything he can, but claims 'borrowed' if caught with it. Been to jail 3 times and is currently on house arrest after over a year of probation violations. "
"The epitome of 'easier to say sorry than ask permission' (but the apologies are hollow) and 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.' No consideration for anyone or anything. Manages to break virtually anything he touches. Hasn't had a job in over 1.5 years, but has been trying to fraudulently collect unemployment."
"Constantly thinks everyone is out to get him and people are stalking the camper he lives in (has security cameras that he watches frequently and often 'patrols' the area). Tries to break into locked doors and safe, and pulls the 'why don't you believe/trust me' line."
"I'm just scratching the surface here. He'd use your clippers/razor to shave his family jewels and not clean up the mess (something he's done multiple times)."
Finally, there were the stories of classmates. Whether it was high school, college, or even graduate school, there were enough people there all in one place that one or two rotten people were never far away.
"Guy from my high school was a wannabe thug. He ended up going to juvi junior year. After a year of juvi. He became a true criminal. Broke into people's homes. Stole from stores and got heavy into drugs."
"Then he eventually died after robbing the wrong store at gunpoint. The owner came out the back and shot him with a shotgun."
Wait for the Twist
"My gf's college classmate. Narcistic. Thought of himself as very important so he came into the church where we were graduating, on his HORSE. He damaged a 1000 or something-year-old church floor in Leiden. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong."
"And the weird thing is, we were graduating LAW SCHOOL"
Ride Like Lightning, Crash Like Thunder
"I had a classmate who wanted to become a stock broker and a millionaire. He said more than once, with absolute pride, 'When I'm rich I wont donate a single penny to the poor!' I asked him why and he said 'I have my own problems, and the poor being poor is not one of them.' "
"He opened his own business when he was 23 and was pretty successful, but suddenly a fire burned the place down while he was in it and he suffered from third degree burns all over his body."
"He later confessed setting the fire himself and was found guilty on insurance fraud. He's only 24 now and his professional life is basically over."
A Sudden Shift
"A teacher I once had. Didn't know me. Never spoke to me much."
"One day just randomly snapped at me. Yelling at me telling me that I had no future, that all the awards I got were to go to waste, that I the article I published which I spent hours working on and submitted didn't matter. That even though I was 14 and had many great achievements, I would end up just like that said teacher."
"Worst person I have ever encountered. Did collateral damage to my life as now I am a high school student with no more ambition. Wanna be a journalist? Wanna be a writer? A lawyer? Not anymore buddy."
Hopefully, you don't have too many of these people in your own life. But, let's face it, there's one or two people on your mind right now.
Here's hoping you managed to let go and get away.
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