Clever People Share The Loophole Discoveries That Helped Them Game The System
It feels good to play the system. Like, when you turn on all the cheats for a game of "Goldeneye" on the N64?
To go around the rules and avoid waiting in line is the basis for those "life hacks" you might have seen shared online. While it's cute that some people know how to keep your shoes from smelling using packets of ginger or how to save time by brushing your teeth in the shower, these stories are on a completely new level. People responded to Reddit user r/akivlam, who asked for the greatest cons and loophole exposers to share their tales:
What's the loophole that you discovered and subsequently exploited?
Playing Companies Against Each Other
I used to sell guitars at a music store. This guy started coming in and window shopping, getting prices. Didn't seem serious so no-one wanted to waste time on him, but I was nice and maybe naive so I spent hours testing pedals, amps, etc. Writing out prices. He'd come in every couple weeks, telling me he has some money coming in soon. Everyone thought I was wasting my time, and after a while I started to believe them.
Then one day he calls and says he's ready to buy, make sure I have everything he wants in stock for next week (it was around $1500 worth of gear if I remember correctly) when he comes in. I get his order ready.
Dude shows up with a huge stack of gift cards. Apparently the owner had been running a promo in the paper - go to this random record store, pay them $50 and get a $100 gift card to my guitar store. Could only get it once a week. This kid had been going to this place every week for like four months, buying gift cards and saving them up. Brought em in with this look on his face, like we are all idiots and he is the smartest MF around. And he was, there was no fine print, no limitations in any of the postings anywhere. Guy just got a monster discount for being patient. Im sure they lost money on that deal.
They don't offer that promotion anymore, either.
If They Don't Notice, Why Speak Up?
I got a birthday coupon for a free entree from one of my favorite chain restaurants last summer.
I showed the person at the cash register but they didn't check it. So I ate my free meal. The next day, I brought it to a different location and the person didn't check it either.
This went on for five days straight.
Stealing From The Bouncy Ball Machine
One time I found out a bouncy ball dispenser at Walmart could be exploited. I could put a quarter in, turn it part way and get a ball, then turn the handle back and get my quarter back. I did that to get a few balls before I felt guilty and asked my dad if it's stealing. I was really young so I didn't fully understand.
Getting A Free Ride. Literally.
I once signed up for a autoshop credit card.
I got my oil changed on our cars and new tires. I kept waiting for them to send a bill, and they never did.
I also told the cashier multiple times about not getting bills.
I also kept charging car stuff... Never paid once.
Nothing on my credit report, nada.
It's been ten years.
But, Which Tire? You Didn't Specify.
Decades ago, I purchased a set of tires from an autobody shop and was offered a road hazard warranty for $10 per tire. I accepted and they rang up $40. I said that no, it's $10 because I only wanted it on one tire. They argued there'd be no way to tell which tire had the warranty and I pointed out that it would be obvious because it would be the one that's flat. Eventually they called corporate/legal and I got my $10 warranty and as I was leaving they were taking down the signs advertising $10 per tire road hazard and ripping up the brochures. Three hours of stubborn well spent.
It IS A Clear Bottle, After All
When I was younger Mountain Dew had a promotion where 1 in 4 bottles won a free Mountain Dew. This was before codes and silly points, you just traded the cap for a new soda.
I realized I could look through the plastic bottle at the right angle to identify winners. I only bought 1 soda that whole summer! It was glorious.
Two Words: Free Burritos
A few years ago, The Cubs had a promotion with Qdoba where if the Cubs scored a run in the 6th inning or whatever inning it was, you'd get a free burrito. When you walked into the stadium, the workers would hand you this little booklet that had the Qdoba coupon along with others. So many people would just discard them on the ground by their seats. After the games, I would go around and collect as many as I could find. I'd take them into Qdoba and get me free burrito regardless if the Cubs scores in the correct inning. The employees never checked or knew. So many free burritos that summer.
Repeat: FREE BURRITOS
Yes! When Chipotle had all their virus crap 2-3 years ago, they sent out all these free meal coupons. I lived in an apartment at the time, got the coupon, and noticed another one sitting in the recycling bin in the mail room. I went back to "get the mail" multiple times that day and dug through that shit and had something like 40 coupons. No expiration date, no purchase required. I barely bought groceries for almost two months.
Adding To Subtract
When I started college, a family friend gave me a $50 gift card to a local coffee chain near my dorm, the kind of place that also has pastries and prepared sandwiches. I had very little spending money at this point, so this felt like a real windfall and I intended to make it last.
After 2 months of cafeteria food, I finally decided to splurge on a coffee and a muffin, the total is like $4.00. I hand over the gift card, and the girl on the register gives me this incredulous look. it was like I had just handed her monopoly money. Immediately this feels like it's going to be an problem. She asks me where I got it. I tell her it was a gift. She rolls her eyes at me, clearly irritated. She says they don't usually take gift cards, I guess they were pretty new at that point, but it was a branded plastic scannable card, obviously legit, so i politely ask if she can try it. She sucks her teeth and starts punching at the screen. 2 or 3 minutes of sighing and rolling her eyes go by and she appears to finish the transaction, hands me my receipt and throws the gift card on the counter without a word.
I'm kind of taken aback at this point by her attitude, but look at the receipt and see my gift card total is now $54. She credited my card with $4. I realize i'm trying my luck here but i quickly grab a sandwich and drink from the case and say, sorry i forgot i wanted to get these too. She rolls her eyes at me again and rings them up. The total is $12. Punches at the screen for a while again, prints my receipt - my new total is $66. Despite being a broke student, I probably would have pointed out the mistake if she hadn't been so rude. Also I figured it was a one time thing, it couldn't happen again, right?
WRONG. The next few months I got the total of that card up to almost $200.
I ate very well that semester.
Winning With Mom On Your Side
In high school we had a fairly expensive cafeteria and I ate A LOT as a teenager. We also had a yearly fundraiser for the school that auctioned off things like the best parking spot, front row at graduation and free lunch for the year. After my freshman year my mom smartly added up all the money I had spent on lunch the past year and decided that was her limit on trying to win the free lunch in the auction.
She got it easily.
I burnt that place to the ground my sophomore year and again my junior year taking full advantage of that unlimited lunch.
They did not offer the lunch deal at the auction when my senior year rolled around.
Playing For Free
When I was broke I forgot to disable auto-renew for x-box Live so when the charge hit my account, I had to call them and ask for a refund. Super simple process and I had my money back the next day.
And to my delight they forgot to remove my Live access.
I had it for a whole year. When it was time to renew, I paid, called them the next day to cancel, and sure enough had free x-box live for another year.
Getting The Casino To Pay? That's New
I used to work in an office building downtown. Parking was expensive. Most places were about 10 bucks a day. So approximately 200 bucks a month. A bus pass for the month was about 80 bucks.
Then i discovered the casino paradox. If you parked at the casino, it cost 10 dollars. Expensive right? If you signed up for a casino club card, and you spun 10 dollars worth of slot machine, parking was free. Usually, you're left with about 6 bucks out of your original 10. Bad if you're purely gambling but now parking costed you 4 dollars.
Things got even juicer when the local sports team had a coupon for 5 dollars in free play on the back of each and every 50/50 ticket for an entire season. Since everyone loses they left their left over tickets all over, which I picked up. Now, with my free play money, I was technically getting paid to park downtown!!
Thanks, Tony the Tiger
A few years ago, a cereal brand had a promotion, where a box their new cereal included a coupon for another free box of cereal.
Presumably, the intention was that you would buy one and get one free. But you could use the coupon to get a free box of cereal that included another coupon.
So, I bought one box of cereal at the start of summer, and then continually used the coupons to get more of that cereal for the next several months.
Beer On Your Birthday
I bought beer once at the grocery store using the self checkout line. When you ring up booze on the kiosks, it'll say it's calling for an attendant so they can check your ID. When the lady came over, she looked at my ID and then hit the top corner of the screen, input a four digit code and then typed in my birthdate. I saw her code.
So now whenever there's a long wait at the kiosk (because there's only the one lady for about ten machines) I will just put in the code and my birthday myself. Oh and you have to make sure you turn off the volume on your kiosk or it will say "ID check required" very loudly. I've only done it a couple times but nobody has stopped me.
Taking One And Doubling It
I took advantage of a retail websites online gift card sale. They were offering "gift cards" for 25% off, for a weekend sale. The great part about it was that they weren't actually gift cards they were just codes that they emailed to you to act as gift cards, allowing you to use it instantly. Well... it turns out you could buy gift cards with gift cards, for any amount. So my 17 year old self turned $20 into $650, over the course of about 4 hours and bought a brand new snowboard set up! I have never seen them run that sale again.
Free Coffee = Life
Years ago, a convenience store had emailed coupons for free cup of coffee. I had to print it myself cuz for some reason it wouldn't scan on my phone. So I printed it and used it and got my free large coffee. All good so far.
Then I thought it'd be worth trying to print again and use it. They scanned the bar code so I thought the system would definitely know if it has been used. Guess what? That wasn't the case. I printed coupons and made copies. My brothers and parents love this coffee. We used to print the coupons and use it EVERY morning for 7 months.
Not Even Sure How This One Works...
A few years ago, there was an app that was kind of caught on called Pocket Points. The aim of the app was to reduce smartphone usage in classrooms by giving you "points" when the screen was locked and not in use. You could use the points on deals local to your area, one of which was a pizza place that pretty much across the street of my college campus. The points were only generated when your location data said you were in a classroom, which was determined by "being in a building within a college campus".
I wanted free pizza and I did not have the patience to wait for it, so I emulated an android phone on a spare laptop I had and downloaded the app onto the emulated phone. I was able to set the location of the phone to be my college campus, which allowed me to passively generate points all day with no effort. I don't think they had any infrastructure in place to deal with that methodology. When I wanted to cash in, I'd log into the account on my actual phone and redeem the points for some good good free-zza.
I ate a good number of pizzas for free until they changed the way their deal was set up. (Instead of a fully free pizza, it turned into a BOGO deal). But I probably had like 7 pizzas for free because of this, which was totally worth the ~2 hours to figure out how to effectively emulate the phone.
Rolling In Rebels
We have drive-thru coffee shops. They have coffee drinks, smoothies, Italian sodas, iced teas, energy drinks, etc... And they are on every corner in town. On your birthday you get a free drink---any kind, any size, no matter how expensive it is. You just pull up, tell them it's your birthday and tell them what you want and they say Happy Birthday and give you your free drink.
I stayed wicked buzzed the whole way through the day on my birthday last year, going from one to the next trying something from every category. It was all good and I drank it all. I even told them at my third Dutch Bros stand what I was doing and they high-fived me.
I was regretting it that night though. I felt like I had electricity pulsing through my body and I'm pretty sure when I slept my eyes were frozen open. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it again this year. Leaning towards yes though.
Future Venture Capitalist
Every morning I would stop and pick up a six pack of Pepsi cans. I would only drink one but I'd sell the others to my classmates. Made more than enough to buy another pack the next day with money leftover. My school didn't like my version of capitalism.
Start Small, Build Big
For years my dad was giving me cash for lunch money and my mom was pre-paying my lunches. I was ballin outta control with mountain dews and snacks at school.
There are few conspiracy theories that annoy me lately as much as the QAnon conspiracy theory. Other than it posing a grave threat to our democracy, I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would take any of it as gospel. It's also remarkably easy to debunk––I'm still waiting for "the Storm" amid the ever-changing goalposts, by the way.
Turns out there are quite a few other conspiracies out there annoy the hell out of people, as we discovered once Redditor Sonic-the-edge-dog asked the online community,
"What's a conspiracy theory that annoys you due to how easily disprovable it is?"
"Some dude I know..."
"Some dude I know swears nuclear weapons and related tech is all a lie. The Manhattan Project was just for show. We never nuked Hiroshima or Nagasaki (or any other test site afterward). Those cities were conventionally bombed and we made up the story afterward. I can't even begin to address the number of people required to keep that secret is...unbelievable. not to mention that okay the weapons are fake but then how are we generating power from all of those power plants? That's all fake too?"
"My friend really, truly believes..."
"My friend really, truly believes that space is not real, that we are just living under a giant screen and Earth is an enclosed experiment being run by someone."
Sounds like The Truman Show, if you ask me. Did you know that there's a type of delusion named after the film? The more you know.
"It has been known to be a sphere..."
"Flat earth. It has been known to be a sphere for thousands of years. Newton calculated that it is wider at the equator without leaving his house.
Why would the Earth be flat if other celestial bodies are not? What do they think NASA or whoever has to gain from lying to us?"
Remember: The Flat Earth movement has followers all around the globe.
"Being annoyed by that..."
"The Holocaust being fake. Being annoyed by that is putting it lightly."
That 5G caused the coronavirus.
I thought 5G was supposed to turn everyone gay? Are we past that now?
"Everybody who barely looks into this..."
"Vaccines cause autism.
Andrew Wakefield published fraudulent data. His medical license has been revoked. Everybody who barely looks into this can find that he's a liar who told a lie that ruined his professional life."
Andrew Wakefield trolled us all and to think that there are people out there still quoting his "work" is a big reason why there are so many out there who are dying from completely preventable diseases.
"Why would Bill Gates..."
"That vaccines are for putting nanotech chips into people for easier tracking...
Why would Bill Gates need to mass-produce some of the most advanced tech in the world to track you when he can already do that through your phone?"
"Someone making this argument..."
""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams." Someone making this argument literally supplied me with the article on eutectic combinations that explained how it worked, but the person supplying the article never read past the first paragraph and thought it meant the opposite of what it was saying."
People never seem to read past the headline––it's so aggravating.
"You know you could have just simplified..."
"That Jewish space lasers are responsible for California wildfires.
You know you could have just simplified the conspiracy to "Jews lit American forests on fire."
Oh, yeah, and this person is in the Congress of the United States."
Yeah... she's really something, isn't she?
"We brought back..."
"What gets me are people who say THE moon landing was faked. We went back FIVE MORE TIMES. It wasn't just the one time. We brought back a bunch of s*** and left a bunch of s*** up there. If it was fake do you think all of the dudes that went up there and that the thousands of people who worked on the project would have been able to keep silent about it?!"
These conspiracy theories must be profitable. But remember when they were seemingly harmless? Didn't people believe Avril Lavigne had a clone or something at some point? Those were the days.
Have some conspiracy theories that annoy you? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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The gift of hearing is an awesome thing. So many of us have the luxury to take it for granted.
How many 'first' sounds do we hear regularly that barely register for memory?
For those of us who are given sound after never having it or losing it and regaining it, have an appreciation most of us will never understand.
They embrace sound with such thankfulness and clarity. They can also tell you when hearing disappoints.
After all they have a build up of imagination in mind.
Redditor u/XxXNoobMaster69XxXx was hoping the formerly hearing impaired would sound off a bit by asking:
Ex-deaf people of reddit, what was the most underwhelming sound, respective to your expectations?
I'm used to being disappointed about a lot in life. I've given up on looking forward to much. This way anticipation doesn't trip me up. But I've never been let down by sound. Music can be underwhelming sure, but that's usually due to the lack of creativity. So this should be fascinating.
Too Loud!All That Nicksplat GIF by NickRewindGiphy
"I was home alone after having my cochlear implant turned on for the first time and I nearly peed my pants when the refrigerator started making ice. Also discovered that my cat purrs very loudly."
"Some dude in an old thread surprised clouds colliding didn't make noise."
"DUDE THAT WOULD BE SO DOPE just like HUUUUGE distant, near peaceful thuds of clouds hitting each other, like a low rumbling in the ground you can feel with the same bassy noise of a far off explosion. God, I've been hearing everything all my life and now I'm sad clouds don't make noise. It would help people realize how large and heavy clouds are, too."
Sounds along the way...
"I've worn HA all my life though until around 2010 they had always been analog so not very good at picking up little sounds. I was being fitted for my first pair of digital HA and kept hearing this odd noise even asking my audiologist what's that noise? Turned out it was me moving my feet on the carpet. I'd never heard that shifting around sound before."
"Got newer and even better ones a couple of weeks ago and holy cow I now hear all sorts of noises I've never heard. Technology can be a wonderful thing."
"Also, remembered another sound - the bubbles popping in a soda/coke. Never had heard those little fizz/pops before."
"When my uncle got cochlear implants, he spent the whole next day wondering what this constant, obnoxious, 'ugly' noise was. After hours of searching, found out it was the clock ticking. He questioned why the hell it needs to make noise. I suppose without having it tuned out, it would be pretty annoying."
"On a happier note, when he first got them in, he cried with happiness when he realized his brother sounded different than the nurse."
Several ItemsListen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"My friend was deaf and he said the most underwhelming things were opening something carbonated, and a dog bark and the most surprising things was lights not making noise and for some reason trees not making noise?"
Sirens can try anybody's last nerve. I know they are necessary but Lord can they be brutal. I think I would be more surprised if sounds didn't match. I'm genuinely surprised when people's voices are higher or lower than what I thought they'd be. Let's hear some more.
The Sizzleshaking still life GIF by jjjjjohnGiphy
"My sister refused to get hearing aids for the longest time. She finally got some and she said the first thing she noticed was like a weird popping sizzling sound. It was the carbonation in her soda."
"When I got my hearing aids, I remember sitting in my room and think it was pouring down outside. Went to have a look, dry af. Turns out it was the sound of my clothes moving against each other. So overwhelming. Now, the silence is more anxiety inducing, because I know that there's so many things around me that are happening and I don't know about them."
'oh, I wanted you to sound better'
"I have a friend who was born deaf and had cochlear implants put in when he was a baby. I don't fully understand it all, but I do know he couldn't hear pitch, even with the implants. To him girl and boy voices all sounded roughly the same and he couldn't listen to music because it all sounded the same."
"A few years back he got his implants upgraded or replaced, like I said I don't really understand it. Anyway, he was suddenly able to hear pitch. He said the single scariest thing was emergency vehicle sirens."
"He'd never heard the proper noise before, so assumed it was just a kind of monotonous whine they made. He was absolutely terrified when an ambulance turned on its siren next to us. Suddenly he could hear the wailing all these emergency vehicles made. He said he found the wails to be very eerie at night."
"Also, when he first heard my proper voice he said 'oh, I wanted you to sound better'. Ouch."
Where to Begin?
"I got a BAHA (bone adhered hearing aid) implant this February. I'm 29F, moderately hearing-impaired for the past 15 years."
"I'm still surprised by:
- clothing rustling
- my own footsteps
- my stomach making quiet gurgling sounds
- the sound when I scratch an itch
- squirrels running across the roof 😊
- picking out individual instruments in a song"
"I hate that I now hear:
- chewing and eating sounds
- farts (I used to only hear the loud ones!)
- peeing is SO LOUD
- background TV noises in businesses — used to just be white noise for me, now that I can parse speech it's super distracting
- random neighborhood sounds, e.g. children yelling, dogs barking, weed whackers, etc.
...and the sound quality of music is kinda meh via my implant. Still 50000x worth it."
At 31...halloween monster GIFGiphy
"I got hearing aids at 31. The sound of the refrigerator surprised me. I'm an engineer by trade and was trying to figure out why it made such a terrible noise thinking it must be broken."
In the end, it's a great thing that everyone on this list can finally hear. Not that there is anything wrong with people who can't. I'm going to try and be more cognizant and grateful.
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Schools are like their own little universes. A whole mini-society, complete with its own specific rules and customs, some of which make absolutely no sense whatsoever. You can't help but wonder what the faculty was thinking in some of these cases, or why no one stopped to think about why they were so weird.
While schools are a place of learning, they can also be places of absolute stupidity.
What's the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
It really makes you stop and think, what event led to these weird rules being put into place?
"My school had 3 staircases along a very long corridor. We were banned from using the middle staircase because it got overcrowded. The ban was lifted once they realised it only made the other two staircases just as crowded."
"This road has too much traffic. We should close it."
How did they get to be principal?late school GIFGiphy
"The new Principal made a "morning round-up" rule where anyone arriving to class after the last bell had to go to the cafeteria and listen to a lecture about not being late for class. This took about an extra 15 minutes, making the students even more late to class than they would have otherwise been. Needless to say, everyone hated it, even the teachers. That principal didn't last long..."
"Lmao this sounds similar to a rule at my high school. If you weren't in your 1st period class before O Canada played, you had to head to the cafeteria, miss class (yup cuz THAT's smart) and "sit in silence". The first day it went into practice, I walked in just as the principal was telling everyone over the PA to stand up for the national anthem, so technically O Canada hadn't started yet. Regardless, my teacher said I was late and I had to head to the cafeteria AFTER the national anthem had finished playing (Again, I'm already in the class so what was the f*cking point?)."
"The cafe was FULL with other stragglers and the teachers on duty couldn't have given less of a sh!t. I sat with some friends who were also late and spent the entire time playing cards. The next day the rule was cancelled. Go figure."
No drinking water allowed.
"I was sent to the principal in elementary school for getting a drink of water out of line (as in we walked down the hall in a formation and we had designated water drinking stops). To this day I still remember the principal asking angrily well what if every one started getting water without permission? And I still don't have an answer."
Doesn’t the dean have better things to do?
"Toilet paper rationing. This was in 1997/98, btw. Apparently the high school girls room was going through too much toilet paper so the dean, a woman, stood outside the door and distributed a few squares of 1-ply institutional toilet paper to us as we went in. If she noticed toilet paper on the floor, our ration got cut down. If we asked for more for...bigger jobs...we were told to save it for home."
"There were several episodes of girls stuck in stalls until friends could beg for more TP because of period messes or unexpected bowel incidents. The dean wouldn't even hand it over--she would go in the bathroom and pass it a few squares at a time over the door. If you didn't catch it as it fell and it landed on the floor, well, that's your fault and you're not getting more. If you used more than she thought necessary, tough luck, go to class with blood/sh!t on your body."
"It took about a week of extremely angry parents coming to the school and calling both the school and the school board, but we finally got our toilet paper back, unlimited."
"How did we celebrate?"
"By TPing her car, of course."
It’s incredible how far some schools go to enforce the zero tolerance rule. It’s like they don’t fully understand what it means to be bullied.
A bit of the ol’ ultraviolence.stop it science fiction GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"After 9/11, my school instituted a zero-tolerance policy on bullying and violence. What 9/11 had to do with bullying, I don't know. Anyways, Halloween 2001, I dressed up as the guy from Clockwork Orange. He carries a cane around."
"The principal pulled me aside, told me walking around with a cane could be a weapon, therefore just walking with it is an act of violence, and suspended me for a couple of days, telling me that after 9/11, "we don't mess around with that kind of stuff"."
Neither of these rules make and sense.
"That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn't bullying, so if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won't help."
"Also dress code required school branded hoodies... they were 50 dollars. If you wore a non school hoodie you got in school suspension."
What kind of gang would that be?
"No beads. Apparently, they thought beaded jewelry was gang-related?"
"Nothing says hardened criminal like matching bead bracelets that say "BFFs <3" ."
And of course, we can’t forget the truly bizarre rules that were put into place by clueless adults.
This is just sad.Bored Fun GIFGiphy
"My school was in a poor area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Not a lot of schools here have money for anything. Because of a huge donation of books at the time I was in school, my school got an absurd number of books, including expensive ones."
"There were a few dumb rules, but the dumbest of them all?"
"We basically couldn't touch the books in the library without permission. It might sound reasonable at first, but check this out."
"The library was huge, and there were lots of books, including contemporary classics, non-fiction like The Last Problem, English Literature like Infinite Jest, How to kill a Mockingbird and whatnot. Dude, there was so much there, that place was probably the most valuable place in the entire school."
"I mean, it was awesome, there were enough books there for each student to lend about 100 every day."
"Here's the problem, the library went all but untouched for the entirety of my time there. Why? The amount of work it took to read one of those books was ridiculous and pretty much made sure not a single student bothered to try."
"First, you couldn't take any of the books home, period. Forget the fact that they had your address and all your parents info, so in the case that someone took it and didn't return it, they could just get it back - it had happened before at least once before the rule was made."
"Second, you couldn't leave the library with them, no matter what."
"Third, if you wanted to read the book, you'd have to do it in the library at the lunch break, which was about 45 minutes, so unless you weren't hungry ever, you had only a few minutes to go to the library. It was only open for a few hours around the break and not at all at any other time, so unless you stayed there for hours until the break for the afternoon classes, you just wouldn't have another chance. (Those hours around the break could be used for you to be tutored by a teacher, which almost never happened)"
"Fourth, once you went through all of that, you could only read the book under the observation of the people that volunteered to work in the library for credit, which was never more than two or three people, sometimes no one. Which means that if you got there and there were already three people there, forget it. Unless you were willing to read it standing up close to where the book was kept and even then they'd check on you every minute or so."
"Fifth, you couldn't get inside the library with a backpack, with food, in groups, speaking, without the appropriate uniform - you couldn't get in with the gym one, for instance -, with other books, earrings, necklaces or anything that could make noise while you were walking. Some were reasonable, but the issue was that one simple mistake and you would get banned."
"Sixth, any banishment from it was permanent. I complained about it once in the second year and was never allowed inside ever again. I even tried to get some teachers to help me, but it didn't work."
"Seventh, and probably the dumbest, only the students that had a certain amount of high grades could get any book at all. If you got something like 4/10 on your last biology exam, you couldn't even get inside the library. The standard was so insane, only six other students and I in my classroom had enough good grades to get books."
"In all my time there, the library was basically deserted for the majority of it. I tried to go there many times, but it was too much work. Out of all the books I only managed to read two Brazilian ones "A guerra do lanche" (The lunch war) and "Blecaute" (Blackout) which I remembered to this day in details. There were times where I legit thought about straight up ditching class to read some of them."
"I tried to get more, like The Last Problem, Kafka's Metamorphosis, Ulysses - which I know I wouldn't have been able to do it, but I was just curious -, A brief history of time, Withering Heights, etc."
"But the amount of work it took was so much that it was just almost impossible to be able to read more than one or two books a year, and even that took dedication, because I basically had to sacrifice part of my lunch time."
"The rumor was that the principals* - we had more than one - basically saw us as "savages" who would destroy the books if we were allowed to touch them and even though they had no reason to believe so - the library worked well without those restrictions a year before I had gotten there, with only minimal incidents and even those didn't result in the books getting destroyed."
The principal did WHAT?
"We were not allowed to have facial hair at all."
"Like to the point where the principal would walk around during lunch with razors and shaving cream and do "Stubble checks"."
"Absolutely ridiculous and he would send tons of us to the bathrooms to shave during lunch, no matter how small the stubble was."
"It wasn't really the rule that was dumb but the reason for it. In my last year of high school, the school issued a rule that all students had to wear student IDs. If you didn't, you had to immediately go and pay for another ID. While you can see how many students may have saw this a way to skip class, the reason for this was the school shootings that happened the previous year."
"The reasoning was that it would be easier to spot who is a student and who is not a student to then see who has malicious intent.....except that most shooters were students....so..."
It's safe to say that every single one of these rules were entirely unnecessary. Like, worse than the "two finger" rule when it came to wearing tank tops (to prevent girls from, god forbid, wearing spaghetti straps). These rules are completely absurd, and it makes you wonder how the adults in charge got their jobs in the first place.
To all the kids stuck in schools like this- stick it out, because I promise that the real world is nothing like this.
People lie. The tagline of the popular TV series House, MD, was "everybody lies." That includes my parents and yours, folks.
Sometimes parents lie to their children to protect them. Sometimes they lie because it's easier than telling the truth. But unfortunately, not all parents are good people. Some lie to manipulate their children, or hold control over them. And that story is way more common than any of us would like to think.
"What is the most ridiculous/f**ked up lie your parents told you?"
People had plenty of stories to go around.
I Hate You, You Hate Me
"My dad got fed up of watching Barney the dinosaur when I was a kid, and one day when I asked to watch it, he said:"
"'Because Barney died'"
"I never did watch Barney again."-b14nn
"Not too f**ked up, but ridiculous. When I was little, my mom told me if I didn't finish my dinner my stomach would get very hungry and come up and eat my brain."
"A few nights later I woke her up at midnight crying because my stomach growled and I needed a second dinner or it would eat my brain."-DragonStangFlyer122
The Waltzing (Away) Matilda
"My Dad told I had an older sister named Matilda, but she kept screaming in the car so he dropped her off at the side of the road and left her there."
"It didn't stop me screaming in the car until one day he actually stopped the car and told me to get out. He only drove 10m away but I never screamed in the car again."-AnoniemGebruiker
Some are to control our behavior as kids, but some persist into our adult lives.
A Little Respite
"Around the time Toy Story first came out, my dad drove an Infiniti and he told us that he could press a button and go 'to infinity and beyond' to jump over other cars."
"He'd have us close our eyes and press the button and he'd speed up and pass the car in front of us while our eyes were closed. as a kid i was d u m b f o u n d e d and thought he was magic."
"It's actually a nice memory compared to the other ones on here lol."-nopenonotatall
Rooster Farts Needed
"We used to have a farm when I was a kid. My uncle gave me few hens he had and I told my dad that I want them to have baby chicks and sell them."
"He told me we need to buy you a rooster for your hens. I said why? They lay eggs and they don't need to have a male around. He told me the eggs won't be fertile and will never hatch."
-"'But what can a rooster do to make it hatch?'"
-"'He picks the back of their necks.'"
-"'Well I can do that with a needle every day!'"
-"'And then he farts in their butts..'"
"The worst part I remember is me running to my mom after we went home to tell her about my recent discovery……."-Rio1231233
Manipulation For One
"Gaslighting. About obviously wrong or easily disputable things."
"Like, I hated the babysitter I had from age 3 to 4. She was a b*tch who favored boys and didn't much like me either."
"I was an easygoing kid, but I hated her. My mother insisted all the way through college that I loved this woman. We'd go back to visit my hometown, and she'd force me to skip seeing my friends to visit this lady."
"At 16, these visits would go something like 'Hi.' 'Oh, it's you.' And then she'd ignore me and talk to my mother while I stared at a wall and nodded politely until we could leave."
"My mother doubled down on this every time I disagreed until one visit back to the church we used to attend (social center of small towns), this lady saw my mother coming and began the conversation with 'wasn't it funny how much your daughter and I always hated each other? I only watch little boys these days. Can't stand girls.'"
"My mom briefly attempted to convince both of us that we shared fond memories, but... By that point we were approaching 20 years of mutual dislike. It was a bit absurd."-TragedyPornFamilyVid
People Should Not Be Allowed To Be Parents
"My mom would drive us to random huge nondescript buildings, screaming the whole time claiming that it was the orphanage & that she was getting rid of us."
"Sometimes she would get out & physically pull our arms trying to rip us out of the car."
"If she was near the police station she would try it there too, telling us we were horrible kids & that the cops would understand and take us away from her."
"Which was super bold to me! it's a shame she never got caught in the act abusing her kids."-miserable-now
Lying can be a form of abuse.
Whale Toe Soup
"When I was younger i learned that mushrooms were a fungus and refused to eat them."
"My dad made me some soup with mushrooms in it and i threw a fit about eating it, so he inspected the bowl and told me they were whale toes."
"Apparently i was old enough to know that mushrooms were a fungus but not old enough to know that whales didnt have feet. >_<"-SelfBoundBeauty
Reversing The Lie
"It's not that f**ked up but it's kind of a revenge story. When I was very young my parents told me I couldn't get carbonated soft drinks cause they said it was bad for me and I could die. Mind you I was an hyperactive kid at the time."
"At one point I got a genius idea, I lived with my mother and my father would pick me up every weekends."
"My plan was Friday evening when my father would pick me up I would tell him 'mom gave me coca-cola cause she said it's okay you're going to your father's anyway.'"
"And at this moment my father accepted the fake challenge I have given him. The next Sunday evening my father gave me like a 1L of 7up just before dropping me off."
"So I was pretty excited, my mother asked me like what's up with you ? And I told her pretty much the same thing 'dad gave me 7up cause he said it's okay you're going to your mother afterward anyway' and then my mom took on the challenge too."
"They never spoke about it out loud it was kind of a war and I was the instruments. What they didn't know was that I was the evil mind behind it all. So all in all, I got my revenge, I got carbonated soft drinks and they never learned the truth until I told them years later."-lrdrchin
An Unforgivable Act
"I came home and my dog was missing. I searched for her for weeks. I was 10 so I couldn't really go anywhere to see if she'd been turned in. I called vets offices and stuff though."
"In my 20's I found out my mom took her to the humane society and dropped her off. I hope she found a new family that loved her the way she deserved to be loved. I hope that she didn't wait for us to come get her every day, crying for me."
"My mom has a dog now that she adores and the thought has crossed my mind to take her and drop her off at the local humane society and let my mom know how it f**king feels but I could never do that to another person."-SendRamenNoodz
Parents can be horrible people, too. And some of the parents in these stories no doubt deserve the "worst parent" award, swiftly and quickly rewarded to them upside the head.
But some of these lies are innocuous. Not all lies are bad things, and when they end up being kind of cute ones for your kids to make them happier, those are the best kind. But keep in mind that not being honest comes with a price. You may cause your child to resent you forever.