Clean-Up Crews Share The Saddest Crime Scene They've Ever Scrubbed Clean
Crime scene and death cleanup is far from a glamorous job, and it's often pretty thankless. Most folks don't want to have to think about the fact that there are people who have to go in after violent crimes or messy deaths and clean things up so the space, be it a home, office, or public venue, can be used again.
Reddit user u/boredmoody asked:
"Death clean-up crewers, what's the saddest/most disturbing case you've ever had to clean up after?"
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm, as well as sometimes graphic descriptions of crime scenes and of death.*
10.
I work for a railroad and after a collison usually we bring in a service to clean up the mess. However during the repairs it's not uncommon to find bits of folk. Usually it's like a knuckle or something small but the company leaves a bucket that we put it in and they will dispose of it later. One of my welders found a wedding ring, that went in a special envelope and was given to the family promptly. Another time they found a shoe under a car that was several cars back. Either way stay away from the tracks the trains cannot turn out of the way.
9.
I responded to a single vehicle involved with a moose. The caller was the driver and she had her young (6ish) son in the back. They were both okay but afraid and trapped in the car as the moose was lodged into the windshield.
We arrived and when we did the moose woke up and kicked the mother to death trying to get itself dislodged. The boy had to watch the whole thing. We were removing him from the back seat and he said "My mommy's dead isn't she". I'm a volunteer so I'm not used to dealing with things like that. It was heartbreaking.
8.
I've been doing this kind of work for about 6 months and a month or two ago we did a job where a 12 year old girl shot herself with a .357 while in her parents bathroom. There were multiple skull fragments and mattes of hair of which, as a relatively new worker in this field, I had not become accustomed to. No note, entire family was home at the time. We got there the next day to clean up and we worked 14 hours straight with the mother one room away crying like a banshee. It really sticks with you.
7.
I'm not a professional by any means. But when you work at a large apartment complex, you see a lot of people. Because police officers and actual professionals do not have keys to individual apartments, I will typically accompany them into the apartment for wellness checks. So far in my 3 years at this property we have found 3 deceased. The first was a suicide of a middle age man that just decided to end it all. Going back to the office where his mother was waiting and seeing her fall to the ground in tears will never leave my mind.
The other two were older folk who died of natural causes. But both of them sat for 2-4 days before being found. A lot of people don't realize how quickly we start to decompose after our heart stops pumping.
I have a lot of respect for the people that deal with these things on a day to day basis. The few experiences I had put me in a pretty huge funk for quite a while.
6.
Murder/Suicide. Husband shot wife in the head while sleeping and then himself. Usually I just sort of zone out while doing them and not thinking about it too much, but cleaning the blood splatter off on of their photo frames of them and the kids with the caption "World's Greatest Dad" was pretty sad.
Also did a clean up at a homeless shelter where the woman living there had drank herself to death, someone at the front desk said their throat eroded from all the alcohol and they threw up blood everywhere. Midway through the cleaning their sister showed up distraught and started stomping through all the blood pools on the floor digging through everything looking for a note or anything sentimental left behind. Only found empty Svedka bottles and clothing though. Also very sad.
5.
Not me, but my best friend. She is the 7th(?) generation of her family's owned and operated funeral home, and for a while she was doing removals. By the way, what a crazy job. Your "shift" is just to be on-call during a period of time, waiting to go get a dead body.
She did it for several years before deciding it was too back-breaking, the schedule sucked, and the whole dead body thing. She told me the worst one she did, that it was the only one that the smell made her puke. The majority of her pick-ups were old people out in the country who were hermits or had little family.
This one in particular, as she stepped out of her car she could smell it, and it got worse as she got closer to the house. It was hard to see through the windows because they were curtained with flies. They opened the door and were basically smacked in the face with flies and death, so they let it stand open for a while before entering. I think the body had been there several weeks.
The story was something like, an old man lived there and had basically been estranged from his family. His only child lived in LA or something and it wasn't rare to not speak for several months at a time. Very sad and incredibly unfortunate, but this happens more than we know.
4.
Military here. I work was working on the fight deck of a carrier and we had a guy get hit by some propellers. Killed instantly. They gathered what they could, all the scattered chunks of flesh and bone from him and put it in a bag then 30 seconds later rolled up with the power boss ( pressure washer) and sprayed was left of him into the sea. we went right back to launching and catching jets less then 5 mins after clean up wash finished. I understand why we did it but still a little harsh to see and process.
3.
Not cleanup per se, but was a mortician who supervised the removal and preparation side of our funeral home. Mid-summer in Florida arrived at a call in middle class neighborhood. Cops were standing outside, middle-aged man and young woman. Both immediately started apologizing for having to call us. Advised us to don whatever gear we had in preparation.
House was a little dilapidated, yard unkempt. Nothing we hadn't seen before, but law enforcement kept saying how sorry they were about what we were going in to.
Deceased male, last seen six weeks prior. Hoarder. Severe hoarder. Five gallon buckets of bodily fluids lining the hallway we had to go down to get to the master bedroom. Halfway down the hall my eyes start watering despite the full-face respirator I was wearing.
Man died in his bed at least six weeks prior if not earlier. Beside his bed, between it and the wall, a four-foot high pile of napkins covered in fecal matter. He was in his bed in a fetal position, had obviously not left the bed in months. There was nothing left of him but goo and bones. He was just forgotten. Neighbors told us he had children, or at least said he did. He died alone, suffocated by his own waste.
The funeral home I worked for had the contract with the county to bury indigents, so after picking him up and taking him to the morgue, we saw him again when no one claimed him.
2.
Not a clean up crew, but when I worked for a tire store we had a guy die on our pad.
Lots of mistakes were made, and it 100% should have been avoided.
He never should have started with until the engine was off.
The other guy working with him should never have waved a car that was stopped and parked, break on, to move forward without checking surroundings.
First thing both guys should have done once the truck was in position is chock the tires and get the keys.
And absolutely under no circumstances should anyone ever get between the axles of a semi.
But that's all what happened. By the time he realized the truck was moving it was too late. He tried to scoot backwards and get out, but the tire ran over his elbow and then pulled him forward just enough to have his head and shoulders get run over too. His head very literally exploded.
I got there about 30 seconds later and saw carnage. After the clean up crew came, I went to work scrubbing stains off the pad.
I found his glasses with a bit of brain stuck to them, and that's when I had to call my day quits.
Dude was a single dad, working to keep his 3 kids fed and sheltered. A few bad decisions and they no longer had parents. It was a really REALLY rough day.
1.
I cleaned up a scene where an old man died in a highrise. He pulled his bed to the door of his bathroom and in the 6 feet from the toilet to the bed was a hell I couldn't imagine. He died alone and his neighbors called the police when they smelled that he was dead. I was mad that they had a paper on his floor for each of the residents to sign weekly and he hadn't signed it for 2 weeks when I checked it.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
People Share The Best Examples Of 'Whoever Designed This Must Not Even Use Their Own Product'
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
You know, I've seen countless "no texting while driving campaigns" and I agree with the premise. I think it is dangerous not to have your eyes on the road. That's how accidents happen. With that said, don't car manufacturers think it's counterintuitive to include touchscreens instead of knobs or dials in new cars these days? You have to take your eyes off the road to adjust anything. I think it's hazardous, especially if you happen to be driving in inclement weather.
After Redditor TheTenthDimension asked the online community, "What's your best example of 'Whoever designed this must not use their own product'?" people shared some suggestions.
"I've personally worked on projects..."
<p>Here's a fun one. We just installed a bunch of new Kronos badge readers at work. The type you swipe your ID card to clock in and out. Everyone at work wears a lanyard that is attached at the top middle by a plastic strap, and your badge must always be displayed while at work.</p><p>Anyway when you go to swipe your badge in the new reader the card reader slot is too deep because the lanyard attachment on your badge hits the slot and prevents you from fully swiping your ID so you have to take your ID fully off the lanyard to get it to swipe now.</p><p>I've personally worked on projects at the Kronos headquarters, when I saw this design flaw I was not surprised one bit, between that and the usability of their web portals it seemed pretty par for the course for Kronos.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqn3t0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Brancher</a></p>"I have a fan..."
<p>I have a fan with a bright LED light that shows what setting it's on. Luckily, there's a 'sleep' mode that makes the light dimmer. Except another light comes on to let you know sleep mode is on, and that one is at full brightness. Just... why?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqpcsw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArtemisJQ</a></p>"Engineers must have forgotten..."
<p>All TVs without at least the basic controls on the TV. Engineers must have forgotten the possibility of breaking or losing the remote.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqi1tq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">willbeach8890</a></p>"Straps can stretch out..."
<p>BRAS.</p><p>Straps can stretch out during a long day's wear. Whose brilliant idea was it to put the adjusters in the <span style="background-color: initial;">back</span> where you can't see or reach them?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqlzt3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aphid61</a></p>"For someone who has a really hard time..."
<p>The system to get help with mental health, like anxiety and depression. For someone who has a really hard time with making phone calls, it's tough to get help when every step requires more phone calls and appointments. Not to mention how expensive counseling is.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsuv0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ipomoeatricolor</a></p>"To make matters worse..."
<p><span>We got these new pin pads where I work and the slide part for the credit cards is at a 45-degree angle instead of completely sideways or completely up and down. To make matters worse a light illuminates the slide area, but when you're looking at it from the perspective of the customer it makes it look like there's nowhere to slide the card at all due to where the angle of the light hits. I've seen people struggle for thirty seconds trying to find where to slide their cards before I have to show them. Unfortunately, there are some functions where a customer has to slide their card and not insert the chip. The cherry on top is that these pin pads do not have tap to pay or Apple/Samsung pay functionality...</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqjbqf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Grand_Corgi​</a></p>"Bathrooms in brand new..."
<p>Bathrooms in brand new (and fairly expensive) homes seem to be designed for women by men who have no idea what the majority of women (and some men) really need.</p><ol><li>nice vanities but no real storage.</li><li>walk-in closets that you access through the bathroom, so if one of you is using the toilet, you either walk in on them or wait until they're finished before you can get to the closet.</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with completely inadequate space for shampoo and etc</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with nowhere to put your foot when you shave.</li></ol><p><span>Not about the bathroom, but in those walk-in closets, nothing configured for dresses or long coats.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrm865?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">product52403​</a></p>"The volume control..."
<p>The volume control on a car radio should always be a twist knob, not a slider on a screen. There's no way to use a slider without taking your eyes off the road.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrik9s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">picksandchooses</a></p>"I can't think of anything more infurating..."
<p>McGraw-Hill products.</p><p>I can't think of anything more infuriating and less educational. My teachers use them for absolutely everything.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsj9w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SuckMyClock</a></p>"I once stayed..."
<p>I once stayed in a "trendy" "designer" hotel which was clearly designed by someone who had never stayed in a hotel. The only lights were dim as hell mood lighting, and the windows were floor-to-ceiling with blackout blinds but no net curtains, so if you needed to see anything clearly then your only option was to have zero privacy. Never staying there again!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqf041?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inflatablefish</a></p>If only all the things we excelled at were also the very things we loved to do most. But sadly, that is not the way it goes.
Instead, some horrible force of the universe made you way better at, say, sewing the holes of pants than playing guitar. The universe can be a spiteful, fickle jerk.
Art, Forced Upon
<p>"Not me but - my friend has taken piano lessons since he was 6 years old and is f***ing amazing at it. But it was much more of a 'parents with high expectations forcing him to take lessons' sort of deal."</p><p>"He hates playing the piano, which is really sad...and his parents kind of suck"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6kydd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SnooMarzipans9028</a></p>Conditions for Very Good Work EthicÂ
<p>"Cleaning. I f***ing hate it, so when I do it, I make sure not even the smallest stain is left so I can postpone the next session as long as possible." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6mfa5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">avadakabi***</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I have a weird quirk where, when I get sick, I have a compulsion to clean. Its like my brain says 'you are already miserable, you may as well do stuff that you hate so you don't have to be made miserable later, when you are feeling better.'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My wife has gotten to the point where she almost looks forward to me getting sick because she knows the house will be spotless by the end of the day." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6p160?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BranWafr</a></p>The Introvert's DilemmaÂ
<p>"Being nice to people. I can be very pleasant if needed, but it's also very draining." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ktfn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nomadinlimbo</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is me as well! People are so surprised when I tell them that I identify as an introvert."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"People need to understand that being an introvert is not necessarily always about an inability to act naturally in groups, sometimes it's more about how hard that might be. When I've spent time in social situations I feel completely drained afterwards." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6yg6n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DorneForPresident</a></p>The Debate Goes On
<p>"Coding. Never make your favorite hobby your job, kids!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6nv49?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mortambulist</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Too late. Turned my hobby into my college major and then into my job. Now I don't like doing it anymore lol." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7kqs5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SpecialChain</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Eh, or do. Often it works out. I held off going into tech precisely for that reason and did physics instead. Hated it and switched."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I enjoy my job, it happens." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fs07?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ApprehensiveSand</a></p>Can't Decide If Kafka Would Be Proud or DevastatedÂ
<p>"Bureaucratic red tape type paper work. I guess I am just very good at filling out tons of forms and papers. Also sort of part of my job."</p><p>"I don't like it, but I am very good at it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6m9x4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BigBearSD</a></p>The Go-To FriendÂ
<p>"I am fantastic at moving furniture, either around the house, or from one home to another. I don't f*** up walls, and I can definitely get that bureau of yours through the doorway."</p><p>"But don't call me and ask me to help you move sh**, I'm busy that day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ng58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">InternetKidsAreMean</a></p>Bad at PartiesÂ
<p>"Being analytical. Life would be so much easier if I could turn my brain off and just have a knee jerk emotional reaction to everything like society expects right now."</p><p>"Pro tip: when asked about a current hot topic, 'I'm waiting for the whole story to come out' is not the correct answer."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj705jt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuerGrisaOstDrauka</a></p>Doomed to Phone DutyÂ
<p>"I'm good at customer service, helping people on the phone, etc. but those jobs are soul sucking black holes" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6r01i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheRealOcsiban</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I so feel this. I've had a few customer service jobs, and I was very good at them but I f***ing HATE customers, entitled little sh**s, every last one of them, even the nice ones. Instead of picking up the phone or standing at the desk thinking 'how can I help?' I'd just be thinking 'WHAT do you want NOW?'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"But I was good at it, and as I think it's due to me genuinely liking to listen to people's problems and help them (just not in a customer service setting) I decided to retrain as a Psychologist." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7pach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Zhylia</a></p>Hospitality Trumps Laziness, For a NightÂ
<p>"Cooking. I only cook for other people (I love throwing parties) but when I'm eating by myself it's takeout, ramen, and frozen meatballs all day. The idea of slaving over a stove for hours when I just want to grab a bowl of canned junk food and go back to watching youtube videos irritates me."</p><blockquote>Cook smarter, not harder<br></blockquote><p>"Still too much work."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6z7fl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ryeshoes</a></p>The Logical End of the GameÂ
<p>"Monopoly, like freakishly good at it. I'll win every game. But people are going to hate me..." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ohmr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadpanda___</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My oldest son is like that. No one in the family will play with him anymore." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj753qh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">momtimesthree</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is the way. The trick to monopoly is to grind the other players into dust. Slowly. Brutishly. Inevitably."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Then you never have to play the wretched game again and as a bonus you've ruined the game for others. You must do your part to break the cycle of familial abuse that is monopoly." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fjh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nefariousinnature</a></p>Image by analogicus from Pixabay |
Society is an odd conundrum when you attempt to wrap your head around it. This phenomena typically occurs whenever you witness a new trend or share experience and everyone seems to go along with it. Only much later, when you think about it with a bit of critical thinking, do you notice something might be off.
Going against society can be strained, difficult, like pulling back a sticker that's been on way too long, however sometimes it's necessary to get rid of what we probably shouldn't be so welcoming of.
People Break Down The Cruelest Thing A Family Member Has Ever Said To Them
In a perfect world, family has your back harder than anyone else.
In the real world, it can sometimes be your family that cuts deeper than anyone else. Intentional or not, the people closest to you have the ability to seriously super suck.
No, you're not the only one who has dealt with a mom who just, for the life of themselves, can't NOT be critical. Or a dad who just always seemed chronically underwhelmed by you.
Too Young To Have Problems
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzU4OTQ4Nn0.IS0f7DOIDbguteBysLtbbRK28ICbWY8p6Q7DuQ0H_Yk/img.gif?width=980" id="09640" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0b52e8847e8a71ba3bd6f885e7e10ac0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />sad carry on GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy<p>As a child (13) i was diagnosed with kidney cancer. </p><p>The news hit me pretty hard because, as a kid that had lost family to cancer, I knew how serious it was. My diagnosis threw me into horrid depression.</p><p>The mother of my step father (so step grandma) laughed at me when the news got to her because "You're too young to have problems so just get over it."</p><p>My mother was flabbergasted. She already hated the woman. Probably a factor in us cutting her completely out of our life once my step father passed - he had already been in the hospital for 2 years at that point and he hated watching the two of them (my mother and his mother) fight. </p><p>My mother sparred telling him for the sake of peace. He died without ever knowing what his mom said. </p><p>I'm still in and out of remission, currently doing good. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhlwlc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">metalicoe</a></p>"Like You Ruined Mine"
<p>When I (a married adult) told my father I was expecting a baby he said: </p><p>"Get an abortion, a kid will ruin your life, like you ruined mine." </p><p>Broke my heart. My kids are the two best things that have ever happened to me and my husband. </p><p>They are adults now and I cannot for the life of me ever understand how a parent could feel the way my father feels, much less understand why he would say such a vile thing. </p><p>It says more about him than me. His loss.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhmzb3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Veganmon</a></p>Not The Call OP Was Expecting
<p>Toxic childhood, my mother had no parenting skills. </p><p>When I was 15 she assaulted me pretty terribly for asking if she would buy groceries because I hadn't eaten in a few days. I moved out the next day and couch surfed for a long time. </p><p>After putting myself through university and getting an advanced honors degree, she called me... to tell me that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than my family.</p><p> I'm doing well now. I have a lovely wife who loves me, a good job even through the pandemic, and I haven't spoken to my family in a long time, which is for the best. </p><p>Still struggling through that for sure (guilt, anger, etc.), but doing alright with it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhojy7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AwkwardCranberry7</a></p>Too Ugly, Too Dark
<p>My mom wouldn't ever let me go to parties with her and my dad when I was a kid. She brings my sister and little brother though because they have light skin (we're from Asia).</p><p>One day I dressed up and got ready because everyone else did. And then she asked me "Why are you getting ready?" and I asked why "Aren't we going to a party?". She stared at me and told me "No... you're too ugly" in our language.</p><p>I'm 21 now and our relationship has never been the same since. I aged well though thankfully but it still stings whenever I remember it.</p><p>I also remember our most recent fight - I was mad that my sister who graduated college more than 5 years ago now still gets allowance while I, still in school, with full units, with a full scholarship, am working for my own bills and allowance.</p><p>None of my siblings had to work while they're studying. Now she even gets my savings and gets mad at me whenever I ask for it back. </p><p>I know my life's sucky right now but after I'm done with school, I'm planning on going no-contact with everyone and will build my own life and hopefully find people who truly love me.<br></p><p><span></span>Sorry for the rant. It's nice to let out a little sometimes when I can.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhkl3l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">artmxs</a></p>Not Exactly Worried About A Rapist's Review
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTM2ODk0NX0.NMwYKi-EBJ9bpQ0GUjxSNKu3y9KRzGNdk4qeHWrC8H4/img.gif?width=980" id="afb3c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="67bb89c5864aed944e8e133953536cf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="444" />cat illustration GIFGiphy<p>I'm a pale woman with dark body hair. My mother saw that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while and said: <br>"You need to shave that hair off, what happen if you get attacked and they rush you to emergency and the doctors have to see that hair?<br>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhunb9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">grindelvvald</a></p>Beat Me Stupid
<p>My dad told me if I didn't change my attitude my future husband would beat me stupid. </p><p>I'm actually married to a very smart and kind man. My father is, and always has been, a piece of sh*t. </p><p>Me always being strong was what made my father hate me even more. He was abusive and would hit us. So this was a common thing he would say to break me down.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhaawj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">postylowkeyokey</a></p>Too Stupid, Naïve and Immature
<p>When I was in middle school I applied for a college training type program. They help you apply, gain knowledge etc while you're still in school. </p><p>On the way to the interview my dad told me he was wasting his money, gas and time on something so ridiculous, because I was too stupid, naïve and immature to ever be accepted into this program, let alone graduate hs or make it to college.</p><p>I spent that entire ride bawling my eyes out, aced that interview, and had my first two years of college paid for. F*ck you dad.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhf1sq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GothSpite</a></p>What Do You Even Contribute?Â
<p>I (23f) got a notice in the mail saying that my insurance company was lowering my rates on car and rental policies. I told my mom (53) and she said, "rental? What do you even contribute to the house?"</p><p>I'm 23 years old, I'm a medical biller and make a decent salary for someone who has two years experience but not enough to move out yet. When my dad passed away at age 49 from cancer five years ago, I helped my mom a lot by helping her settle my dad's will, help her make financial decisions, cook, clean, signed us up for medical insurance, help my older brother (26) with his and her taxes I also helped him apply for school financial aid. I was a teenager. </p><p>I took time off of work take care of her after two major surgeries because my brother didn't feel "comfortable". I would drive him to places too. We use to share a car and I paid for over $100 a month for gas and he would only give me $20. </p><p>I snapped at my mom because I know if I didn't step up my older brother wouldn't even do anything. I told her everything I did and still do for this family. I don't mind that they rely on me to help them but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep them warm anymore. </p><p>My mom did apologize and she didn't realize how much I did for her and my older brother. I accept the apology but those words still sting my heart.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhl6qx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Calypos_Luna</a></p>I Left For A Reason
<p>I tracked down my estranged mother a couple years ago after she had been gone from my life since I was 5. When she figured out who I was, her response was: <br>"I don't have a daughter. I left for a reason." </p><p>Then she hung up the phone and I just stood there in my living room trying not to cry. It hurt, but I made it 34 years without her and I have every intention of continuing to do so.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhizb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">feralhippie</a></p>She Took My Hand And Said...Â
<p>When I was 9 I adored my older sister (8 years older than me). I just wanted to be like her in every way. </p><p>One day I did something (probably an annoying little sister thing) and she took my hand, led me to my room and told me, "you don't understand how powerful the word hate is yet but you one day will and you should know I hate you. 100% hate you." </p><p>She said it so matter of factly and just walked out. It broke my heart. Changed me from that day forward.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhx4d9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KaEcold</a></p>After Mom Died
<p>After my mother died, my first cousin's wife told me that I was no longer a member of the family because I was adopted (as an infant, FYI) and the death of my mother severed my membership in the family. I was 41 when she said this to me.</p><p>For an adopted child—at least for me, fear of rejection is an early childhood trauma you can't escape. I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents. </p><p>When she said that to me I half expected them to rise from the grave to defend me. They loved me, I am secure in that. But the knowledge that she felt that way and nobody else shut her down still hurts.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhtkyn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CartoonistSpecific75</a></p>