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Just because it's a classic doesn't mean it's always the best choice.

Most of us were forced to read some classic literature in school. Most of us can also probably recall falling asleep while reading one of these books late into the night. Not every book resonates with every person, therefore--not every classic book will either.

What was the book you put down and never picked back up again?


u/demlightra asked:

"What is the worst classic literature you have read?"

Here were some of those answers.


Elephant Dung

The White Bone. All those elephants did was walk around and poop. You can't read more than a few pages without an unnecessary poop plotline.

This one might be my favorite:

"A hard, blackened morsel of dung. 'How old is it?' Mung says. 'Thirty-five days,' She-Snorts murmurs. 'Perhaps more.' They smell the morsel in wonder. It is so precious and so paltry. She-Screams, who has already evacuated a seepage, comes over and pokes her trunk in among everyone else's."


evacuated a seepage

Okay, I pulled up a random PDF page and they were talking about using warthog pee and hyena poop to make a band-aid. But, I felt like that was cheating because it wasn't elephant poop, so I pulled up the next page and lo and behold:
"When she awakes she notices, inches from her eyes, a pile of her own dung, the sweet known smell of which is so appetizing she would eat it had she the will to move."

HOW IS THIS CONSIDERED GOOD LITERATURE?!

H0use0fpwncakes

Wuthering Wuthering Wuthering

I was one of those straight A students in high school who always did all the homework on time. That being said, the one book I did NOT finish was Wuthering Heights.

Kim-Jong-Deux

I was looking for this comment. What an infuriating book. There was not one character that I could actually find myself rooting for, in part due to the fact that most of the book was told from the perspective of a guy listening to a story from someone who was really only marginally involved, so emotions were really taken out of it. Took me forever to get through.

farrockaway

Too Much Description

Absolutely anything by Thomas Hardy. I had to read The Mayor of Casterbridge, it was the only book I didn't finish at school. I remember a guy walking into a town and there being like 10 pages of description of what the town looked like.

Fullonski

Purely Awful

The pearl. Even my teacher said it was one of the few John Steinbeck works she couldn't stand. The book is tiny and as an avid book lover should've taken me like an hour or two to read. It took me the entire summer. I had to force a page at a time. It was awful. Decades later and it's still the worst book I've ever read. And I tend to love most classics.

prongslover77

Conservative Anthems

Atlas Shrugged. The Fountainhead was actually worse, but I think more people would consider AS 'classic'. Both were dreadful though. Why I have read both is a mystery I cannot explain even to myself.

Pro tip: if you for some reason decide to read it anyway, stop when Galt takes over the radio station then skip ahead for (depending on the print size) 60-80 pages. You won't miss anything; it's just a protracted delusional monologue and I'm not exaggerating about the length.

ditchdiggergirl

Call Me Ishmael....Wait...Wrong Book

I hated Last of the Mohicans (incredibly dull) and The Old Man and the Sea (just doesn't make sense). I was told that Hemingway's weird grammar was because he didn't want anything to be unnecessary, but then why is it necessary for us to know that the old man gets up and urinates? Twice?

NeverToDie

It's Just A Sham...No Pun Intended

Great Expectations was hell for me.

Far too long and too boring for my high school ADHD brain to handle.

It didn't stand a chance against TV and video games. Trying to remember anything from it is just like a foggy dream.

Might like it today though, who knows. Just finished Monte Cristo and enjoyed it.

savvly

I'd Rather Stare At A Windmill

Spanish speaker here. I looove reading, like, books and literature are huge part of my life, but reading Don Quixote was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was so boring, slow, and just unpleasant. I just hope I never have to read It again.

a_jerit

Omg They Were Roommates

A Separate Peace. I've never hated a book as viscerally as that one. Would have been an infinitely better read if Finny and Gene just got it over with and had sex. I know Knowles has denied there's any homoerotic element to it, but then why the hell did he write 236 pages of absolutely nothing except for sweltering sexual tension with no payoff?

I would have rather followed Leper's perspective as he enlists in the army and battles his own eroding sanity and cosmic dread. Can't believe Knowles teased us with less than a page of sheer terror and John Carpenter-esque body horror before casually reminding us "No no. This isn't that story. Here's a scene of Gene trying on Phineas' pink shirt. Enjoy as I describe everything except his pounding erection splitting the seams on his uniform slacks."

TivoDelNato

Dusts And Bowls

The Grapes Of Wrath. I hated that book so much that I refused to read anymore after the 4th chapter in high school. I read a book that was easily twice as long instead. Catcher In The Rye is rough too because it's so damn depressing, but I've read that twice.

Gadgetownsme

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Lifehacks, if applied properly, can really change the course of a single household chore.

Chores can really be such a pain to take care of, and nobody wants to do it. But with a little life hack under your belt, you might be able to turn chore time into something a little fun.

u/rat-avec-london asked:

What is a lifehack that seems fake, but is a true lifesaver?

Here were some of those answers.


My Finger, The Glass

If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years.

coykoi314

You can also use any oil (cooking, automotive... anything).

You can also reduce the size of your hand (and finger) by holding it up in the air. Chilling your hand in cold water THEN holding it up in the air for a couple minutes whilst rubbing oil &/or dishwashing fluids in there... trifecta of ring removal.

Should work on anyone that just stole Sauron's prize - though biting it off also works, i suppose.

SageSilinous

Multiple Uses

Use shaving cream as anti-fog. I used it on the inside of my motorcycle visor. Smear it on, let it dry, then rinse off and dry. It also works for bathroom mirrors. You can use it on a small spot so you can still see when you get out of the shower.

Caspers_Shadow

Shaving cream also removes the smell of urine. If you ever have to take care of someone who is old and/or sick and who wets the bed, a little shaving cream on a rag wiped over their buttocks after they are thoroughly cleaned up helps them really smell clean again.

It's a bit of a sad tip, I know, but you never know when you might end up caring for someone who needs help with things like this. Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.

Gen-Jinjur

Pretty Important For Stage Actors

Every male should know this. If you want to get rid of an awkward boner flex any muscle in your body maybe an arm. For a minute. The blood will rush to that muscle and away from your penis. Crisis averted.

GingerOverseer

These life hacks really don't seem real at all, but if you can swear by them, they can save your life.

Obligatory Poop Hack

I saw a comment on one of these kinda threads that recommended gently rocking back and forth while pooping. I've never had any problems in the bathroom, but I happened to be sitting on the toilet when I read the comment so I decided to give it a test drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how quick and effortless the whole experience was and I haven't gone back to my old stationary technique since. As a bonus, #1 and #2 now require the same amount of time in the bathroom!

ASS_LORD_666

It's The Alcohol

If you have funky armpits and need to fix them fast, use hand sanitiser. I figured this out years ago when I remembered that the smell comes from bacteria reactions - which antibacterial hand gel kills stone dead. Instant results and the medical smell lasts only a minute. Don't do this routinely though as it's delicate skin.

ihadanideaonce

But Hopefully It's Just A Playing Puppy

True lifesaver: if you are ever attacked by a dog, push your forearm INTO the bite. This pries the jaws apart and prevents them from clamping down. If a dog is attacking you, the best thing you can do is offer your forearm, push as far back as possible, and then grab the dog by the scruff of its neck with your other hand to hold it. The dog is now functionally muzzled and you have control of its head. The sooner and harder you push into the bite, the less damage the bite will do.

IAlbatross

Get It Off Anything

That rubbing alcohol removes chewing gum.

I'd go through a 20 layer deep marketing funnel to get to that tip because it really does work.

Also wow! Thank you for all of the awards nice Redditors. I completely forgot I left this comment and came back and my notifications had blown up.

omgIamafraidofreddit

And previously impossible situations will give way at long last.

Sayonara Capsaicin

Rubbing vegetable oil (or any cooking oil) on your hands after you cut up jalapeños or other hot peppers. It gets rid of the awfulness that would normally be left on your hands from the peppers. I rub my hands with oil and then wash it off with dish soap. I can totally remove my contacts after doing this. It's crazy how well this works.

PaulRuddsButthole

Crying Crying

Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learnt this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works.

Lost_in_the_Library

Just A Quick Little Base

The cheapest, most effective, and safest insecticide against roaches (especially those huge "water bug" roaches that we have in the South) is a spray bottle of mostly water with just a little liquid dish soap in it.

Shake the bottle & get the water a little foamy, then spray the roaches. They will run, scrabble, and attempt escape, of course, but they will die. The soap film suffocates them faster than any chemicals will.

A friend told me about this, & I thought she was nuts, but I tried it & it works amazingly well. Plus it's very easy to clean up and safe around food (not that you want to spray soapy water ON your food).

SnooPickles3213

Incorporating any of these lifehacks into your home may make a big difference. You'll never want to turn back.

Or you will, whatever. But they're worth a try!

Image by Olya Adamovich from Pixabay

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