
I'll take 'A new spine' for a thousand, Alex.
Those of you who only know me as "the chick who lost her eyeball to glitter" probably imagine that if I ever had a chance to have a body part replaced, I'd have two eyes in a heartbeat.
Nope!
My spine is way more janky than the eye was (due to the same condition. What's up, fellow EDS zebras? But you can't exactly pluck out your left spine and still get by with just your right spine.
Humans are kind of a mono-spine situation; which seems like a bad idea considering how important it is.
If I had a spare lying around and could switch this one out, I could save myself daily pain. And also maybe finally break that 5-foot mark since my spine would be straighter.
Reddit user Enough-Restaurant954 asked:
"If you could choose an extra or new body part, what would you want and why?"
Spare spines. Get into it, folks.
Wear And Tear
"A brain. Mine has a lot of wear and tear."
- Malrad
"Same here, but my brain is so worn, I didn't even think of that one!"
- Enough-Restaurant954
"2 brains for double the mental health issues? No thanks."
- keenanlrey
Kickin It Old School
"Prehensile tail. All sorts of stuff to get up to with that."
- DanBetweenJobs
"I KNOW RIGHT?!"
"I WANT MY TAIL BACK! My distant ancestors chose the wrong monkeys to make babies with."
- souldust
"I’ve been telling my wife for years that I would balance on my tail and one leg to tie my shoes."
"She thinks I couldn’t do it."
- RebaKitten
New Teeth
"New teeth because young me was hella stupid/depressed"
- Dagamsky
"Everything with teeth can be fixed. So making it to adulthood with bad teeth is just this billboard that you grew up poor or you made poor decisions as an adult."
"I had bad looking teeth, overbite/big gaps, that I got fixed a few years ago in my early 30s."
"I was surprised at how much friendlier people were. They were never rude, I was just avoided I guess. It was kind of a mind f*ck at the difference it made."
- imgunnawreckit
All That Junk
"A new digestive system. I wanna be able to eat all that junk again"
- [Reddit]
"Whatever tolerates lactose, I want one."
- ilikevenndiagrams
"THIS! I cant even eat much chocolate anymore, I can only nibble a little bit or it is a fiery hell in my stomach."
- aarretuli
One Trip
"Wings would be cool, but flying sounds exhausting and wings would have to be stupidly large to lift my weight (no hollow bones, ya know)"
"So I'll take two extra arms instead, please! Imagine how many grocery bags I'll be able to carry!"
- dementor_ssc
"Have to carry it in one trip don't we?"
- EastZookeepergame806
"I have always thought that if your lazy ancestors had bothered to evolve a second smaller set of arms with more fine motor function so our primary set could have stayed larger and more tuned towards strength and locomotion it would have been overall better."
"I find myself constantly wishing I had more thin and flexible fingers to work on small projects and also wishing I had bigger, stronger arms and hands to do heavy lifting with more efficiently. Why can't we just have both?"
- Sleepycoon
"A Challenge"
"New spine, please."
"As per my last MRI, I have facet disease on every vertebrae they looked at, most of my discs are bulging, and both my spinal cord and the nerves coming out of the spinal column are becoming compressed in several places."
"It is a challenge."
"Still waiting on disability, even though my hearing was in January. I can't sit upright for more than about an hour without significant pain, and even being awake takes up pretty much all of my mental bandwidth to try to focus through the pain, so I can't really work."
"Thankfully, I have some doctors who take good care of me, as much as Medicaid will allow them to."
- MaximumZer0
Wing Woes
"I'd choose wings, so I could fly wherever I wanted."
- Enough-Restaurant954
"As I am a human in a world full of humans, I can say with total certainty that you will get shot down in under a minute lol"
- Wide_Substance5731
"I’ve thought about this a lot. Bear with me."
"We have legs. We have the ability to run everywhere. Very few humans run anywhere, let alone everywhere. It takes a bunch of energy and makes us tired."
"Now imagine wings. If running makes you breathe hard, imagine the effort required to get a human (with solid bones, unlike birds) off the ground."
"We’d just have cars with bigger seats to accommodate our folded wings."
- Positive-Source8205
Business And Pleasure
"Mantis shrimp eyes."
"I can use my regular eyes that need glasses for business and my shrimp eyes on stalks that can see a million colours for pleasure."
- ipakookapi
"Be kind of a curse wouldn't it?"
"You'd see the fluid stains everywhere. You'd be a cursed artist, painting art nobody else can appreciate or probably even see. And what if you ever needed glasses?"
"Special shrimp glasses can't be cheap."
- jejcicodjntbyifid3
All Things Secondary
"A brain expansion that makes me now capable of telekinesis and telepathy. That might require a larger head tho, so I'd only take it if it comes with such necessary preconditions."
"If altering other things doesn't come with altering the chosen thing, then lots of peoples suggestions wouldn't work. Gills wouldn't have enough room. Wings wouldn't have the support. Your tail would just hang there and do nothing."
"A digital interface would probably be useless without a built in encryption/description capability. You get it."
- eletricsaberman
Epic
"I have three kids. Need a third arm more often than not"
- didsomeonesaydonuts
"An arm."
"Having an extra arm would be so good. Imagine fighting, grabbing someone with one arm and absolutely destroying them with 2 others?"
"3 arms: Epic"
- UnlikelyHotel3077
Spare.
Spines.
Tell me I'm wrong. (but do it in the comments so we can all argue together.)
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Many people lie or exaggerate about seemingly little things. For example, I've wondered if many are lying or at the very least stretching the truth about the number of partners they've had.
One of those strange things where half of the people are lying and making the number higher, and the other half are lying and making it lower.
It's funny, isn't it? But you do you! What do we know?
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor SleepingOmibozu asked the online community,
"What's something you're 100% sure most people are lying about?"
"How much..."
"How much their side hustle nets them."
Nobody_Wins13
When it comes to side hustles, everyone is much more successful than they actually are.
"Steroid abuse..."
"Steroid abuse in the fitness industry."
[deleted]
This is a big one. So many people who say they're natural are juicing.
"I have read..."
"I have read and understood the terms and conditions..."
[deleted]
Stop attacking me! I did not ask for this!
"That they don't..."
"That they don’t pick their nose."
SarcasticSparky
Yeah, right. The number of people I've seen digging for gold in public is so high.
"Fully understanding..."
"Fully understanding the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series."
N_dixon
I stopped trying to. Do I get a cookie? I'd love one.
"How often they clean..."
"How often they clean their bed sheets."
VeggieSmooth
I'm not even going to ask. I think I will be seriously horrified by the answer.
"If you're not busy..."
"About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person."
lushsweet
Yeah, whatever. This is as bad as bragging about not taking breaks at work. It's not a good look.
"So many lies."
"Their income. So many lies."
Zyrock9
Many people feel very self conscious about their salaries. It's sad.
"Why they're late."
"Why they’re late."
[deleted]
I'm not late often but when I am it's usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
"Hating the word..."
"Hating the word 'moist.'"
zerocaffeine
I love the word moist and I won't apologise.
You mean there are still people going on about this? It's just a word, people. Calm down.
Life's a competition, apparently. Take what a lot of people tell you with a grain of salt. That's the best advice.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
I once met a guy who, by all accounts, appeared to have given up. And by that, I mean that they had pretty much decided that life basically ended in the 1970s and early 1980s. He had no interest in modern technology, was remarkably out of the loop when it came to technology or even current events.
This was all very frustrating to witness, but he was actually proud of himself! Proud to not know much–if anything–about the modern world. (And then he complained about how he kept having trouble finding a job.)
It was quite the flex–an unimpressive one at that.
People shared some of their thoughts with us after Redditor metallicmuffin asked the online community,'
"What unimpressive things are people idiotically proud of?"
"Missing breaks..."
"Missing breaks at work for a company that wouldn’t care if they died the next day."
Lavenderviolets
This is a big one. It's not cute. Take your break! There's more to life than work!
"Not eating..."
"Not eating any vegetables. Known a few people state it as if it's some kind of achievement giving themselves constipation."
tradandtea123
Knew somebody like this. They wanted to go out on a date.
We did not go out on a date.
"Going into work while sick. Had a coworker who bragged on social media about having strep throat, but was still working because she 'values hard work.'"
Marshmallows_Skies
Some people appear to have missed the memo that risking other people's health is not a bragging right.
"I know people..."
"Drinking a lot. I know people, grown @ss people in their late 20s, who will brag about passing out on their lawns because they couldn’t make it from the car to the front door."
metallicmuffin
To be fair, they're in their 20s and most people are idiots then. They might grow out of it!
"I once had..."
"I once had a coworker brag about how dark his pee is."
[deleted]
Are you seriously telling us that they bragged about their kidneys not working correctly?
"I've heard that..."
"Driving better when drunk. I’ve heard that ridiculous statement more times than I should."
TrinitRosas
If some people seriously believe that, then they should not be allowed to drive.
"I overheard..."
"I overheard a co-worker recently brag to a girl that he'd already had COVID three times and during his most recent bout, he went to the gym every day that he had it."
the_chandler
There are so, so many things wrong with that person's statement. Can you imagine? "Sure, I got COVID, but at least I didn't miss leg day!"
"I keep hearing people..."
"Not being able to cook. I keep hearing people bragging about how the only thing they can do is boil water."
urinmyspot
If you've made it to adulthood and you don't know how to cook for yourself, there's something gravely wrong with this picture.
"Nothing surprises me..."
"Nothing surprises me more than when people are proud of their ignorance."
GoodAndBluts
Knowledge is no guarantee of wisdom but prideful ignorance is proof of its absence.
"I worked with a guy..."
"I worked with a guy who, otherwise very smart, was extremely proud of the fact that he could remove the foil from the neck of a wine bottle without cutting it. He brought it up so many times I lost count. I just let him have it, though, because he seemed to need it."
dvicci
Of all the things in this thread this is the most reasonable thing to be proud of.
Let's face it, it seems like a lot of people have made over-compensating a part of their personalities.
Sadly, they don't even seem to be doing that all too well, which means we'll continue to be largely unimpressed.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
Who hasn't partaken in a trend everyone was doing at one point, but which quickly became passé?
Indeed, 90's children probably have mountains of POGs which are collecting dust in their parent's attics, and their parent's probably made every effort to hide any pictures of them attempting a mullet.
But seeing the long lineage of fads, from bellbottoms to beanie babies, we can't help but wonder what current trend people will look back on with regret, if not outright disdain, in the not-so-distant future.
Redditor stoopididiotface was curious to hear what the Reddit community thinks will be passé in a matter of time, leading them to ask:
"What current trend will be the most regrettable 20 years from now?"
I update my status much less often these days...
"Posting about almost every aspect of your life on social media."
"I posted some pretty cringe sh*t as a kid that is still floating around somewhere, and that was before social media became big."
"I can't imagine what it's going to be like now."- video_2
Parenting should be a personal choice.
"I hope mommy bloggers who post constant pics and details of their children."
"Robbing children of privacy for likes and money is sickening."
"Don’t even get me started on ones with sick kids."- nikki_therese
Everyone was watching it... back then...
"I think people are just starting to regret naming their kids Danerys and Sansa."- Wazula42
Felt "kute"... will regret later
"Quirky misspelling of names."- Virghia
Natural beauty is destined for a comeback
"Too much plastic surgery, fillers and Botox on young people."- factchecker8515
"Those eyebrows."
"Holy sh*t, there’s no way that your kids won’t be horrified by those weird eyebrows."- Delica
Here's hoping actions will one day have consequences
"Ignoring criminal acts by politicians."- Max-lower-back-Payne
Contemporary views of education
"The destruction of public education."
"Squeezing and outright sabotage of public schools, prohibitive costs for secondary education."
"The normalization of being undereducated either through apathy or because of forces outside your control."
"The idea that opinion is equal to fact and that sticking to your original viewpoint is heroic."
"'Yeah, your studies may say that, but this is how I FEEL about it'" and similar arguments."
"The reason we are no longer a minor species of omnivorous hunter-gatherers is our ability to pass along knowledge to others."
"Each generation building on the achievements of prior generations is the path to progress in health, quality of life, equality, production and so much more."
"Worse yet, technology now is at a level where if the masses are uneducated, they are also powerless."
"Small groups of people with specific knowledge have become outrageously powerful and this gap in individual power will only get worse with advances in fields like AI and robotics."
"If we allow whole generations to grow up undereducated, it will be very difficult for them to understand and affect their world."
"I feel the exponential growth of wealth gaps across the world is a symptom of this deliberate enforced ignorance."- GrymEdm
Some things we'll laugh about, other's we'll look back on in disdain and horror.
And Ironically, we'll probably be enjoying another current fad which will be outdated in another five years.
When the global pandemic hit in March of 2020, everyone hoped that after two weeks or so of social distancing, cases would begin to drop and things would quickly get back to normal.
And though life is slowly getting back to what it once was, cases of COVID-19 continue to ebb and flow.
It almost feels like everyone must have caught COVID-19 at least once by now.
But even three years in and with multiple variants, there are still a very lucky, select few who have yet to test positive for COVID-19.
Redditor jwa8808 was curious to hear how those who have yet to see two red sticks on their rapid tests have managed to avoid catching COVID-19, leading them to ask:
"For people who have never caught covid even once, what's your secret?"
Having no social life comes with its advantages.
"I'm not very social even without a pandemic."- phorq
Fear of big crowds... and everything else.
"Social anxiety."- mungiga123
"Agoraphobia."
"Extreme health anxiety."
"It sucks since its unnerving but I took every precaution in the book to not get sick."- _Lost__Light
You tell me!
"I really have no idea."
"I've been on building sites with people taking zero precautions, worked in London for a while, delivered into hospitals during lockdown, been surrounded by people who then go on to have covid a few days later."
"Not a clue how I haven't had it yet."- sammykoejoe
Best perk of a home office!
"Working at home and having no social life or sex."- I-P-Freely4ever
Pure, dumb luck!
'Neither me or my kids have been hit."
"The secret, I have no idea besides lure luck."- Hugh-Mahn
I can stay perfectly entertained at home!
"Don't go out."- To_enrich_my_life_17
Dilligence...or common sense?
"Wear masks, go out when you need to, get all the covid shots you are entitled to, stay away from ill people."- kitchen_clinton
One can't help but sympathize with those too afraid to partake in outings and activities they enjoyed prior to the pandemic.
But hopefully the fact that they've avoided catching an illness which has taken the lives of over six million people worldwide is the comfort they need to feel good about their decisions.